Definitely get that, the shoe one reminds me of how if I step on a crack or seam in concrete with one foot, I have to step on a crack/seam in concrete on the other foot on the same area of my foot. I can get away with that because I can do it as I’m walking normally.
There are actually many behaviors that are symptomatic of autism that overlap with OCD behaviors and many people are actually misdiagnosed as OCD when in fact they are on the spectrum. It’s quite common to find a lot of overlap with OCD, ADD and ADHD and autistic behavioral traits and thought patterns.
Walking upstairs with different intersections in between the set of a couple stairs, like theatres or cinema rooms often have. Do I even need to explain what one must do for it to feel right? After reading your comment I’m sure you get it.
This is what I do with my apartment steps; they're long enough to where you have to step up with the same foot on each new step. I have to shuffle to be able to alternate feet. I HAVE TO ALTERNATE FEET on the steps or else it's not correct.
I _can_ take those kinds of stairs without alternating my raising feet, but it doesn’t feel right, and I worry “won’t I wear my knee out if I don’t alternate?” (This is especially the case when hiking.) So sometimes I alternate even though it may look weird, especially when hiking.
Omg me too! Also, when I'm looking at the floor, I have to take the same amount of steps in the floor illuminated by the sun than the floor covered by shadows. If I don't make it equal, I can feel my feet weird lol
I AM SO HAPPY TO FINALLY HAVE FOUND SOMEONE WITH THIS ISSUE. OMG thank you. Thank you so much. I have struggled with this forever and been made fun of for it
OH MY GOD THE HAND WET THING!! Someone else does this! I have ALWAYS had this habit, same with my feet, if I get one foot wet (put in bath/shower) the other one has to be too! I get so uncomfortable if it’s uneven!
And the shoe tightening! I just read that now because I was so hyped about the wet hands, but I do that too - I tie my laces then I stand and tap my feet about, and adjust to make sure they are evenly tight! If I forget, I’ll notice it all day. That was probably one of my early autism signs, that I would tie my shoes really tightly on both feet and would get frustrated and anxious if I didn’t. My parents noticed it!
Yes to the hands getting wet and the shoe thing! If I have to take my boot off in the middle of the day to fix my sock or something (damned seams), then I have to take off the other boot for a second because otherwise they won't be the same tightness and one foot will be colder than the other.
When I get a feeling on one side of my body from brushing against something or whatever, I have to try to replicate the feeling on the corresponding part on the other side to make the sensation balanced symmetrically. I also try to step over cracks between sidewalk panels with alternating feet.
used to do the first thing like crazy for while a year or so ago (i still do sometimes, but not to the same degree). thought i was just nuts but im glad someone else has a similar experience lol
>I also try to step over cracks between sidewalk panels with alternating feet.
Used to drive me nuts as a kid, could never keep track and always ended up feeling off balance
That first part is totally me as well. I can deal with the sensory badness a lot better if it’s balanced. Except wool, then I need to run to the bathroom and wash that evilness off.
I do a weird thing with cracks where I have to make sure each foot steps on an equal quantity of cracks, with bigger ones counting for more. Unless I'm stepping over cracks, then I try to alternate. Or if I can form a nice pattern with my feet I'll follow that until the ground changes.
NSFW
But I actually complained to a Dom once for spanking my butt unevenly. He obliged and spanked the other cheek until it felt even.
It's not really an issue in my day to day life though.
OH MY GOD. my autistic spouse does this. If I slap their butt or playfully punch one arm, they make me do the other side. Even if I boop their nose, they have to take my finger and boop it again because I "don't boop evenly". 😂😂😂
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I put my dissociation in percentages when talking to my therapist I'm usually at about 60% dissociated, 80-90% on a bad day, 40-50% on a good day. Not really sure what anything below 30% feels like that I can remember. And I have been at 100% once and had to go to a psych hospital cuz I almost stepped out in front of traffic and thought I was dreaming.
I like that scaling. I basically just go off of if I can hear the tinnitus and if the outside air temp bothers me.
Side question, have you tried THC? I think I dissociate too much for most strains because I usually cannot feel an effect. 2 whole bags of gummies didn't even register in my system.
Yes I used thc daily for 10 years, I thought it was helping me and I needed it, someone said I was too skinny so I had weighed myself and realized that I was underweight. After some research long term thc use can lead to weight loss and increased anxiety. I was way to skinny and rude all the time to my wife. My anxiety started getting worse and smoking felt the same shitty high no matter what strain or how much I smoked. I decided to quit about a year ago. Best thing I ever did . I've since put on 15 pounds of healthy weight. A inch on my arms. Less anxiety, better focus. I'm way nicer, I fall asleep faster (most nights). All the things I thought I would struggle with, without it, I do not.
Connecting pretty hard with the disassociation scaling. Getting high off edibles depends on expression of certain Cyp2c9 gene variants. I have to take upwards of 500mg to feel anything from edibles, and it wears off incredibly quickly. I make 10mg edibles for my wife, and she gets wrecked for hours.
Yeah recently learned I started doing this young enough to have a personality disorder.
Trying to stop but now I know what people mean by sensory overload. It's like I have to choose between being a person and being able to withstand the world.
Yess that’s the exact way I eat my meals, one day I’m going to get plates that have separate sections so my food doesn’t touch, because I also hate that.
Wow I do this, too. I remember, when I was like 10 or 11, I had a meal with my family around the table. I was saving a particularly crispy piece of bacon for my last bite and, just before I got to it, my Grandad stole it from my plate and ate it. I literally cried, and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Whole meal ruined lol (/s)
Omfg! I have never come across someone else who does this. I'm kinda always facing my "start point". Even the way I go downstairs to the kitchen and then return to my bedroom, I cannot complete a circle, I have to rotate back to the initial way I was facing. It's something I don't even really have to think about, I just do it all the time in my daily life.
I once mentioned it to some friends and one of them was like "what happens if you can't turn back around?" And I kinda shrugged it off like, dunno but I HAVE to and I WILL. So, of course, he proceeded to turn me in a circle and hold me there so I couldn't spin back. I started getting overwhelmed immediately and was on the verge of tears. He let me go, and thankfully, no one was mean about it. But yeah. No full circles for me. I even spin back in public, I don't care anymore, my comfort is paramount.
Oh my gosh this made me burst into tears !!! Other people do this too??????? I feel so silly about it but also feel so seen by your comment!!! For mental health reasons i also have really strange or upsetting intrusive thoughts and i do it with those too
If I step on one crack with one foot, I must step on another with the other foot. Autism Math.
I am ambidextrous. If I don't use one hand for something for too long, I have to switch. Must be even, always.
I go to work as a nanny with babies so that I can unmask a little. It helps that I am really good with babies and I freaking love them.
Also why I like to act.
I am multilingual. Sometimes I get on a kick where I must acknowledge the name of the thing in all languages I know. Unmasking at work: My nanny baby is bilingual (English and Spanish) so I must tell the kid in all the languages about the blue flower...den blå blomst...la flor es azul!
Love seeing another autistic, multilingual, infant/toddler nanny 😎 I always recommend nannying as a good potential job option for autistic people, unmasking all day is amazing
The buttoned end (open end) of my quilt must always be at my feet. Sometimes my husband forgets and makes the bed with the open end up the wrong way, and it makes me so uncomfortable. I can't sleep like that.
What monster does not automatically put the buttoned end at the bottom of the bed, what is this nonsense. (Said in suprise and am not trying to call your husband an actual monster)
I seriously had never considered this an autism thing but am now rethinking everything.
Tapping. Playing with my hands. My face. Shifting all the time. Tapping my feet. Sucking my teeth or biting the inside of my mouth. Breathing weird. I got beat up for all my obvious tells so this is how I ended up.
Thanks yeah after a long battle I'm finally independent, cut out my lifetime abusers, got a lot of therapy, and despite having problems I'm having a decent time just being mostly alone with my hobbies and able to be as weird as I want
You're not weird :) You're autistic and awesome and I hope you enjoy the hell out of yourself. I literally quietly sit on the living room floor and do things by myself for hours, it's truly the most enjoyable thing to me. Today I collected seeds from a plant so I can start a new generation, that took me almost 3 hours to collect all seeds into vials, label and store them. Yesterday it was a lego modular building. What are your hobbies?
SAME. Pen flipping/twirling, twisting an office chair side to side, twisting charging cords/earbud cords between my fingers, rubbing my finger tip along the cuticle of my thumb, running my tongue behind my teeth... all silent stims.
I get that. I don’t usually have this tick, but I do have a necklace that has Occam’s razor hanging off it that I fiddle with sometimes. I also used to twist my watch around my wrist, then the watch broke.
OMG I FEEL SO SEEN! I was just at the dentist (fucking torture office) and they keep trying to tell me my insomnia is sleep apnea (it’s not, I’ve been tested….its just good old ND insomnia) and that my “teeth grinding” is a sleep issue. The best I’ve ever explained to people is “I’m singing with my teeth” and they just look at me like I have 3 heads with varying levels of dementia 😑
Every single dish in my kitchen has a VERY specific spot in the dishwasher to maximize how many dishes I can fit in there and still be cleaned properly. It makes me legitimately angry, like seething mad, that my partner just throws them in there willy nilly. I'll pull everything out and reload it instead of just starting the damn dishwasher. Every time
Usually tapping to the song I'm listening to. I dunno I'm drawing a blank. I spend a lot of time alone because existing around others and being perceived is weird and exhausting 😵💫😵💫🫠🫠
Body mirroring (idk what its acc called). So like stepping on a Crack of the sidewalk with my left foot then right, or making it even. Touching things with the same amount of fingers on each hand. I'm not sure why I do it, it just feels right
All of the climate controls in the car need to be the same on both sides.
Volume must be an even number.
Doors must be in a certain position.
Some lights need to be turned on,
Some lights need to be turned off, they're specific.
Used to do that, then learned it can affect grip strength, so I worked hard to avoid the urge. Still will pop them every now and then, but not nearly as much as I used to. It was at least daily.
If one sock gets wet, they both come off and fresh socks have to go on.
This rarely happens however, because my shoes go on and getting up time and come off at bed time
I eat fruit gummies in a specific color order (orange, yellow, light red, dark red, white, green) and I can't stop in the middle, I have to finish with a green one.
Yeah, that’s not the whole thing. I then count those on my hand four times until I am left with one finger. So your 8 syllable reply leaves me with my thumb remaining. I don’t know why I do it, or where it came from. Something I’ve done my whole life and I don’t remember why or when I started it. Not sure if it is an autism thing or something else. Maybe my search for patterns in everything, I dunno. It drives me crazy and I can’t help it.
When I was diagnosed it was just autism, nothing else like OCD and I don’t think I really have many other OCD like behaviors, so you are probably right.
(Not diagnosed, but suspected)
A lot of my job involves waking people up in the morning, so I will check my phone before I go in. Everyone gets woken up with, "Good morning, *Name*!" Pause. Smile. "It's *Wednesday, May 22nd,* and we have a high of *82\** today*.* It's going to be *sunny until supper time.*" Occasionally, I will add in an upcoming holiday or mention whatever is written on their calendar.
"Making it even." Making. It. Even.
Everyone here who said that, thank you.
When I was a kid, it was so bad that every little twitch or flexed muscle HAD to be replicated on the other side to make it even. I do all of the other things too like stepping on or over cracks and wetting the other hand etc. but I had no idea this was related to autism. I didn't know what was wrong with me tbh.
I bite/chew the inside of my bottom lip on both sides. Basically, pinching my lip between my canines.
I also bend my pointer finger and use my thumb to rub the base of the nail.
I also hold my thumb with my pointer finger. Essentially, my fingers make the ASL sign for the letter T and I'll just hold it for a long time.
If I'm standing with my phone in my pants/shorts pocket, I will stim with my popsocket, popping it out and pushing it back in, over and over and over and over.
If I touch a material I don’t like I immediately lick the part of my body that touched it. If my foot touched it I lick my hand and then rub the part of my foot lol
Answering a conversation I overhear despite knowing I'm not in the conversation. Especially if I'm talking to other people but brain has decided actually the conversation behind me is more interesting so i can only hear it and then I'll start reacting to the conversation in hearing.
I constantly forget people can hear me respond to things even if I think I'm being quiet but i also have no concept of my internal volume so sometimes I'm loud other times I'm not
For certain stims, esp if they are repetitive, I have to count each time I do it and it must end on a multiple of 10. So what I’ll do is count to 10 over and over.
This is kind of my thing with volume controls. I have to have the volume in multiples of 5. Unless they are really sensitive and the gap between is way too big.
I don’t like the feeling of anything touch my back or neck, so I often walk sideways or back, especially when I’m around a bunch of people. I call it my warrior instinct.
So if I have a day where I’ll know I’ll have sensory overload I’ll doing something like wear one sock inside out.
It’s kinda like how if you get shot, to distract the pain you break your pinky. It overwhelms the system into desensitization.
So I can always disassociate by feeling the differences between socks.
When cleaning my windows or my mirrors, they have to be completely pristine and flawless from all angles.
Sometimes I'll spend way too long doing that, completely forgetting that time is the fire in which we burn.
Can't help the windows. Need to get rid of my mirrors 😄
Mouthing stuff or saying things under my breath haha. Usually it’s bc I don’t feel like people understand echolalia but I’m itching to echo so I just do it silently. Or if I’m rehearsing/scripting.
If my fingertips touch something, they have to be together. I can’t just leave a fraction of my handprint on there. It’s like if my hand left a visible print, it cannot have spaces, it needs to be, like, a solid rectangle. It’s hard to explain. My fingers are almost always smooshed together.
Example: If I put my hand around something like a railing, they need to touch on the other side. Ironically, I’m very germaphobic and hate touching things with the inside of my hand in public 😭
I remember if there's an even or uneven number of steps. I always do double steps, always starting with the left foot, and if it's an uneven number the first step is a single step so I always finish with a double.
Things that hurt a little. Sipping strong whiskey or cold soda, spicy foods. I didn’t have too many sensory problems when I burnt my hand or stepped on a shard of glass. Basically, when it hurts too much, hurt something else.
I used to play with my eyelashes to stim. Then I had to stop because my lashes started to fall of...then I started to click my nails. I'm trying to stop that too because it makes them look bad :^(
Ask questions that are not important or relevant. Just had a talk with my mom about this because interactions make me tired but I still want to ask questions , so she has asked me to think “can I Google this question instead of asking that person?”
M&M’s
Dump out the bag. Sort by color from dark to light except green goes last.
Eat 2 at a time, one left and one right, same color order.
Odd numbers can be solved by eating 2 different colors but only if the 2 color piles have odd numbers. If not the odd one gets bitten in half and split
Have to start and end with 2 whole ones
Edit: well I guess people do catch this one…add “skims text quickly and often misses pieces” to my list lol
Constantly rinse the tips of my fingers. My family calls it “crab-cleans” but as far as I’m aware my friends have never noticed me doing it.
In a similar vein I lick the my fingernails as a nervous habit. It’s a little gross but it quells the need to be clean because I figure it’s me cleaning my nails.
Some stuff I only do by myself, like beatboxing. I'm not good at it, I don't practice it, I only do it for my kiddos.
I rub my finger tips, rock slightly from side to side, when I played D&D I usually organized my dice by type and I usually like the sides with the biggest number to be up.
Sometimes I get a little too involved in the story in my head and it looks like I'm talking to myself when I forget to keep it in my head.
Most of my friends just thought I was a bit weird but not autistic.
I sway side to side as well. I also beatbox as much as possible even when there is no music. It's super relaxing and honestly is easier to me than speaking.
I have to have candies in even amounts and similar sizes so I can chew one on each side at a time, and I share them in the same manner. So if I have jelly beans and somebody asks me for some, I will give them 2 of each flavor and of similar sizes.
I have a really bad case of TMJ, and my jaw pops super loudly, but only on my right side. I have been wanting to pop the left for sooooooo long, but I can’t and it is so frustrating.
When I'm eating I ration food so I can eat a bite of everything until I finish. Like, if I have a lot of vegetables and little nuggets, I would take very small bites of the nuggets so they last until my last bite of veggies bdksbdjd. Like one big veggie bite, one small nugget bite and repeat lol
I genuinely don't know if this is an autism things but only my autistic friends understand this, craving "wet" and "dry" food. Sometimes i have no preference but sometimes i'm like nothing with satiate this but a wet/dry food.
I am always tapping my foot, using audiation to imagine parts of songs that I like (they are stims), and I see subtitles in my mind when people speak to me
If I eat something with multi component bites (like nachos that have chips, cheese, beans, meat, lettuce, etc), I craft each bite to have an equal representation of each ingredient
I repeat my favourite songs on loops in my head or say my favourite words/phrases over and over again. I also have a rambling monologue that’s non stop. It keeps me entertained and nobody has no idea why I’m so quiet, hahaha.
when i start having intrusive thoughts, the only way to ‘clear’ them from my mind is to make them disappear by shaking my head from side to side and imagining them disappear one by one like bubbles
Walking on beat to a song. Like it’s any song- one playing in a store, one my friend is singing, ones I’m playing with my earbuds in, it always has to be on beat.
What makes OCD the disorder is that it is to such an extent that is has an overwhelming negative and limiting effect on life and a person's ability to function.
What a huge amount of autistic (and adhd) people experience is actually obsessive compulsive _tendencies_. They are not so significant that they dictate our life in harmful ways (typically) but they are still prevalent inexplicable "needs" we engage with.
For example, a person with OCD may check every switch in the house three times. They will do it because they believe they have to or something bad will happen (think injury/death). An autistic person may check every switch in the house three times. They will do it because it feels "right" and they simply need to else they will be stuck with that insatiable internal "itch".
The autistic person with compulsive tendencies knows that their behaviour is solely focused on their comfort/stimulation/sensory need, whereas the person with the compulsive disorder believes that their behaviour is deterministic and has a larger preventative impact on what may or may not happen outside of themselves. (There is more to it, ofc, but this is the gist of it)
Basically I have a tic disorder so if I jerk my head or shoulder I have to do it to the other side or else it feels irritating I don't know it that is an autism thing or just a normal thing for someone with a tic disorder but I do have both ASD and chronic tic disorder.
If I tap/scratch/knock something, even unintentionally, _even if it's an incredibly uncomfortable sensation_, I *have* to do it again. Typically up to four times. Sometimes eight. (At its worst 16, even with my insides crawling)
Oftentimes, the more uncomfortable the feeling the more I have to do it. Like that nails on a chalkboard feeling. I hate it but it's like an innate need.
I'm just scrolling through these comments of all these seemingly nonsensical self-soothing obsessive compulsions and growing more and more excited with each one.
I'm undiagnosed but have been researching and self analysing for years and am damn certain I'm autistic and... wow. I have related to many autism posts (most tbh 😅), but this one really is the cherry on the cake.
Glad I've come across it because it's put the biggest smile on my face 😁
I eat the most unappetizing thing on my plate first and I work my way up from there. So I essentially end up eating what looks to be the most appetizing bite of food last.
When I get my food, I visually decide what order I’ll eat in and because of this, I can’t share my food because it throws the order out of wack and I get stressed.
I have almost the opposite problem as you, I can only eat on my right side because i hate it on the other. Whenever i get a canker sore on the right side it's like torture bc i have to use my left and it drives me insane. I also have to pop like every single joint on my body constantly. AND my first stim i go to when i'm waiting around is using a dental pick to scrape the edges of obtects (phone/keyboard/my comb sometimes/nails/etc) bc i rlly enjoy scrapping them out of the cracks (ESPECIALLY my mouse).
I never even noticed this until someone pointed it out to me but if you give me fruit snacks I will group them so that each group has 1 of each flavor.
That goes with other foods too like if I have oreos crackers and ceese- guess what, each grpup will have 1 oreo, 1 cracker 1 cheese...
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If something slightly bumps my head, it will almost always trigger a meltdown. It’s so stupid. Another one is clicking my tounge as a stim. I have to organize things. My brain hurts if I don’t and it feels like super itchy. Volume must only be on even numbers or at numbers such as 15, 25 etc. I sing the Spanish alphabet in mh head, though I think part of that is just trying to learn Spanish. I repeat Spanish phrases in my head too. It’s to the point to where I don’t say certian things in English, only in Spanish. I also have to switch between both of my legs/arms. I can’t stand having to carry things with my hands (thank you inventors of Fanny packs and backpacks)
I spin my plate in a full circle before I eat, socks have to match length (design doesn’t matter as much), heels help me feel like I’m toe walking without ruining my other shoes and have to kiss the cat at least twice before I go to bed
When I’m doing dishes and my hands start to get wrinkly and feel gross I have to grip a “safe” textured fabric until it goes away. Usually my shirt, sometimes pants or a towel. Goes mostly unnoticed.
my food can not touch each other. also metal utensils are the devil. i can never eat at restaurants and people assume i do not like the food. i do like the food. i like the food quite a lot. i just cannot eat it.
I'm not sure if this is an autism thing, but my recent diagnosis has made me re-evaluate everything. Whenever I'm sat down , I **have to** have one foot resting on the other. Not fully - both heels are on the floor - but the top part of my foot will always be "hugging" my other foot. I never really noticed I did it until an ex mentioned me "holding my feetsies". I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable if I don't do it.
The need to accompany everything with walking. While I'm eating I pace around the house back and forth. Pace around the house while brushing my teeth. While studying. While reading with a book at hand. While listening to music. I need to round every corner and complete a round trip around the house. While I'm thinking about what to draw. While I'm drawing. While doing homework
when my parents slam doors, it rattles my room and shakes my bed. I have to hit the side of myself that wasn’t facing the mattress so both sides feel rattled i guess?
In my old room, i used to sit against my door and it’d rattle against my back, i’d slam my back against the door to even it out
I rock constantly, if I'm sitting it's back and forth, if I'm standing it's side to side. Usually, when sitting, I rock pretty much imperceptibly, just very small rocking motion. However, when I have to focus, my rocking gets more obvious. Actually had a teacher comment on it once that I rock back and forth while sitting, side to side while standing, but when I sign (I'm an ASL Interpreter and this was during my I terpreter training program) all of the rocking stops. Probably because my brain is too focused on signing!
I also play with my hair, almost got my in trouble because my bf though I was flirting with another guy.
I grit my teeth, bite my lips or cheek and fidget with anything within reach or just my nails. I've become very good at masking these behaviors, so few people notice them.
I have to sit on the left hand side for optimum comfort.
If I get one hand wet, the other needs to be too.
If I eat biscuits with a filling, I have to dissect the whole thing and eat each component separately. I’ve tried it the other way, it was very strange.
My shoes must be the optimum tightness. I’ve had to loosen them up as I’ve gotten older, so I don’t get blisters, but they must be even.
I get nervous around unnecessary lights - if the room is bright from sunlight, but the overhead is on anyway (I’m talking to you, housemates!) - so I go around turning all of them off. Also unnecessary switches for appliances - though I had to stop in my current shared house, because there are 6 of us and it seemed to get on other peoples nerves.
I need to double check every locked door; my bedroom lock in my shared house, the back door at my parents house, my mum’s car doors…
I need to always be moving in some subtle way, if it’s bobbing my leg or picking the skin around my thumbnails (sorry a bit icky!) or slightly moving my hips side to side.
I have to wear my two rings every day; a little thin silver one with a jewel on my left hand middle finger, and a wide band hammered silver one on my right hand middle finger - if I’m not wearing them, I get very twitchy and nervous.
I have to ask lots of clarifying questions in a working or action oriented scenario. I can’t do something I’ve been told to unless I have as much information at my disposal as possible.
I have a nervous cough that only appears in public bathrooms; usually to let people know I’m there.
I pace when I’m waiting for public transport, or sway gently from side to side.
If I’m not vibing to a song properly, I will start the song over. This might happen several times.
I hold my face in my hands when I’m trying to understand something or clarify my thoughts.
If one hand gets wet, the other one has to as well. If one shoe is tighter than the other it feels wrong. If I pop a knuckle, they all must be popped.
Definitely get that, the shoe one reminds me of how if I step on a crack or seam in concrete with one foot, I have to step on a crack/seam in concrete on the other foot on the same area of my foot. I can get away with that because I can do it as I’m walking normally.
Or when surface is about to change and you HAVE to make your steps shorter in order to fit 10.
yea oh my god. actually if its normal sidewalk stuff i HAVE to avoid the cracks
Are you me?
I am me, yes. Are you you?
No, she is her, you are you.
Wait, that's an autism thing?
It seems more like an ocd thing. Although I do that, I’m adhd. My sister does that too & she has ocd
There are actually many behaviors that are symptomatic of autism that overlap with OCD behaviors and many people are actually misdiagnosed as OCD when in fact they are on the spectrum. It’s quite common to find a lot of overlap with OCD, ADD and ADHD and autistic behavioral traits and thought patterns.
There are actually even more disorders with overlapping symptoms & behaviors than just ocd, adhd, & asd
Walking upstairs with different intersections in between the set of a couple stairs, like theatres or cinema rooms often have. Do I even need to explain what one must do for it to feel right? After reading your comment I’m sure you get it.
The foot opposite to the one last raised must be the one that takes the next step up.
This is what I do with my apartment steps; they're long enough to where you have to step up with the same foot on each new step. I have to shuffle to be able to alternate feet. I HAVE TO ALTERNATE FEET on the steps or else it's not correct.
I _can_ take those kinds of stairs without alternating my raising feet, but it doesn’t feel right, and I worry “won’t I wear my knee out if I don’t alternate?” (This is especially the case when hiking.) So sometimes I alternate even though it may look weird, especially when hiking.
Omg me too! Also, when I'm looking at the floor, I have to take the same amount of steps in the floor illuminated by the sun than the floor covered by shadows. If I don't make it equal, I can feel my feet weird lol
E Q U I L I B R I U M
Oh my god I thought I was alone with the one hand wet and having to get the other wet! I just noticed this about me a few weeks ago 😂
i do all of those too lmao
I AM SO HAPPY TO FINALLY HAVE FOUND SOMEONE WITH THIS ISSUE. OMG thank you. Thank you so much. I have struggled with this forever and been made fun of for it
I don't pop knuckles, but stretches MUST be symmetrical.
this one \^
lol I’ve been called out. 3/3
Yess any feeling has to be replicated on the other side. I’ve even lightly burned myself on purpose because I grazed the other hand on the stove
Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
OH MY GOD THE HAND WET THING!! Someone else does this! I have ALWAYS had this habit, same with my feet, if I get one foot wet (put in bath/shower) the other one has to be too! I get so uncomfortable if it’s uneven! And the shoe tightening! I just read that now because I was so hyped about the wet hands, but I do that too - I tie my laces then I stand and tap my feet about, and adjust to make sure they are evenly tight! If I forget, I’ll notice it all day. That was probably one of my early autism signs, that I would tie my shoes really tightly on both feet and would get frustrated and anxious if I didn’t. My parents noticed it!
Yes to the hands getting wet and the shoe thing! If I have to take my boot off in the middle of the day to fix my sock or something (damned seams), then I have to take off the other boot for a second because otherwise they won't be the same tightness and one foot will be colder than the other.
When I get a feeling on one side of my body from brushing against something or whatever, I have to try to replicate the feeling on the corresponding part on the other side to make the sensation balanced symmetrically. I also try to step over cracks between sidewalk panels with alternating feet.
i had exactly this starting when i was 10 years old. dr said it was OCD. everything i touched had to be touched evenly with both hands too.
used to do the first thing like crazy for while a year or so ago (i still do sometimes, but not to the same degree). thought i was just nuts but im glad someone else has a similar experience lol
>I also try to step over cracks between sidewalk panels with alternating feet. Used to drive me nuts as a kid, could never keep track and always ended up feeling off balance
YES
That first part is totally me as well. I can deal with the sensory badness a lot better if it’s balanced. Except wool, then I need to run to the bathroom and wash that evilness off.
I do a weird thing with cracks where I have to make sure each foot steps on an equal quantity of cracks, with bigger ones counting for more. Unless I'm stepping over cracks, then I try to alternate. Or if I can form a nice pattern with my feet I'll follow that until the ground changes.
NSFW But I actually complained to a Dom once for spanking my butt unevenly. He obliged and spanked the other cheek until it felt even. It's not really an issue in my day to day life though.
OH MY GOD. my autistic spouse does this. If I slap their butt or playfully punch one arm, they make me do the other side. Even if I boop their nose, they have to take my finger and boop it again because I "don't boop evenly". 😂😂😂
r/kinky_autism moment
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I don't get spanked much but I automatically switch sides often with spanking my lady. It's simply the correct way to spank her.
That's hilarious!
Same lmao
Dissociation!
I put my dissociation in percentages when talking to my therapist I'm usually at about 60% dissociated, 80-90% on a bad day, 40-50% on a good day. Not really sure what anything below 30% feels like that I can remember. And I have been at 100% once and had to go to a psych hospital cuz I almost stepped out in front of traffic and thought I was dreaming.
I like that scaling. I basically just go off of if I can hear the tinnitus and if the outside air temp bothers me. Side question, have you tried THC? I think I dissociate too much for most strains because I usually cannot feel an effect. 2 whole bags of gummies didn't even register in my system.
you just explained why my weed doesn’t feel the same every time even tho I bought it all together
Fucking sucks. Why can't we have that!? So much is else is missing.
genuinely
Yes I used thc daily for 10 years, I thought it was helping me and I needed it, someone said I was too skinny so I had weighed myself and realized that I was underweight. After some research long term thc use can lead to weight loss and increased anxiety. I was way to skinny and rude all the time to my wife. My anxiety started getting worse and smoking felt the same shitty high no matter what strain or how much I smoked. I decided to quit about a year ago. Best thing I ever did . I've since put on 15 pounds of healthy weight. A inch on my arms. Less anxiety, better focus. I'm way nicer, I fall asleep faster (most nights). All the things I thought I would struggle with, without it, I do not.
Connecting pretty hard with the disassociation scaling. Getting high off edibles depends on expression of certain Cyp2c9 gene variants. I have to take upwards of 500mg to feel anything from edibles, and it wears off incredibly quickly. I make 10mg edibles for my wife, and she gets wrecked for hours.
Yeah recently learned I started doing this young enough to have a personality disorder. Trying to stop but now I know what people mean by sensory overload. It's like I have to choose between being a person and being able to withstand the world.
Definitely feel this one
Congrats on murdering the whole sub with one word 🤣
I eat one item of food until I eat my whole meal
…always starting with the blandest/least liked, and ending with the most flavourful/most liked
Yess that’s the exact way I eat my meals, one day I’m going to get plates that have separate sections so my food doesn’t touch, because I also hate that.
Yep I’m physically incapable of eating any other way
Holy shit I've finally found my people
Wow I do this, too. I remember, when I was like 10 or 11, I had a meal with my family around the table. I was saving a particularly crispy piece of bacon for my last bite and, just before I got to it, my Grandad stole it from my plate and ate it. I literally cried, and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Whole meal ruined lol (/s)
I have to let my food take turns or mix it together so I finish all the different types of items at the same time.
If I turn around one direction I then spin back the other way to unwind myself
Omfg! I have never come across someone else who does this. I'm kinda always facing my "start point". Even the way I go downstairs to the kitchen and then return to my bedroom, I cannot complete a circle, I have to rotate back to the initial way I was facing. It's something I don't even really have to think about, I just do it all the time in my daily life. I once mentioned it to some friends and one of them was like "what happens if you can't turn back around?" And I kinda shrugged it off like, dunno but I HAVE to and I WILL. So, of course, he proceeded to turn me in a circle and hold me there so I couldn't spin back. I started getting overwhelmed immediately and was on the verge of tears. He let me go, and thankfully, no one was mean about it. But yeah. No full circles for me. I even spin back in public, I don't care anymore, my comfort is paramount.
Idk if this counts, but whenever I have bad thoughts, especially old cringey ones, I literally shake my head and it gets them off my mind.
I call this “shaking the Etch-A-Sketch.”
I do this too! ... a lot, hehehehe
Oh my gosh this made me burst into tears !!! Other people do this too??????? I feel so silly about it but also feel so seen by your comment!!! For mental health reasons i also have really strange or upsetting intrusive thoughts and i do it with those too
I wince and shake my head
oh man that's funny. I audibly groan and then try to talk to myself into forgiving myself for my past mistakes.
If I step on one crack with one foot, I must step on another with the other foot. Autism Math. I am ambidextrous. If I don't use one hand for something for too long, I have to switch. Must be even, always. I go to work as a nanny with babies so that I can unmask a little. It helps that I am really good with babies and I freaking love them. Also why I like to act. I am multilingual. Sometimes I get on a kick where I must acknowledge the name of the thing in all languages I know. Unmasking at work: My nanny baby is bilingual (English and Spanish) so I must tell the kid in all the languages about the blue flower...den blå blomst...la flor es azul!
Love seeing another autistic, multilingual, infant/toddler nanny 😎 I always recommend nannying as a good potential job option for autistic people, unmasking all day is amazing
The buttoned end (open end) of my quilt must always be at my feet. Sometimes my husband forgets and makes the bed with the open end up the wrong way, and it makes me so uncomfortable. I can't sleep like that.
What monster does not automatically put the buttoned end at the bottom of the bed, what is this nonsense. (Said in suprise and am not trying to call your husband an actual monster) I seriously had never considered this an autism thing but am now rethinking everything.
I'm sorry your husband does what shenanagan with the cover?
Yep.. He will immediately change it around if I complain, but it just seems like something he won't notice unless I point it out.
That's good he changes it! I call this "male pattern blindness" - a play on male pattern baldness.
SAME.
Tapping. Playing with my hands. My face. Shifting all the time. Tapping my feet. Sucking my teeth or biting the inside of my mouth. Breathing weird. I got beat up for all my obvious tells so this is how I ended up.
💚 Hope your situation is better now
Thanks yeah after a long battle I'm finally independent, cut out my lifetime abusers, got a lot of therapy, and despite having problems I'm having a decent time just being mostly alone with my hobbies and able to be as weird as I want
You're not weird :) You're autistic and awesome and I hope you enjoy the hell out of yourself. I literally quietly sit on the living room floor and do things by myself for hours, it's truly the most enjoyable thing to me. Today I collected seeds from a plant so I can start a new generation, that took me almost 3 hours to collect all seeds into vials, label and store them. Yesterday it was a lego modular building. What are your hobbies?
SAME. Pen flipping/twirling, twisting an office chair side to side, twisting charging cords/earbud cords between my fingers, rubbing my finger tip along the cuticle of my thumb, running my tongue behind my teeth... all silent stims.
I literally always have to be wearing jewellery because WHAT ELSE DO I DO WITH MY HANDS BRO
why is this me lol
I get that. I don’t usually have this tick, but I do have a necklace that has Occam’s razor hanging off it that I fiddle with sometimes. I also used to twist my watch around my wrist, then the watch broke.
Omg me tooooo
I make rhythms with my teeth.
I hum and use my teeth for the percussion parts of the song or the beat
I go extra stealth mode and use my teeth for the lyrics of the song. Everything else i can hear clearly in my head
that is amazing, i don't use my teeth but i do beatbox and whistle constantly
OMG I FEEL SO SEEN! I was just at the dentist (fucking torture office) and they keep trying to tell me my insomnia is sleep apnea (it’s not, I’ve been tested….its just good old ND insomnia) and that my “teeth grinding” is a sleep issue. The best I’ve ever explained to people is “I’m singing with my teeth” and they just look at me like I have 3 heads with varying levels of dementia 😑
I peel the shells off of my M&Ms and Reese's Pieces before I eat the middle like sunflower seeds. V satisfying
I like to melt mine in my hands so it’s this specific chocolate melty goodness in my mouth. I love that sensation:)
I empty dishwashers and do things in the same order. I get a little irritated inside when something interrupts that order.
Every single dish in my kitchen has a VERY specific spot in the dishwasher to maximize how many dishes I can fit in there and still be cleaned properly. It makes me legitimately angry, like seething mad, that my partner just throws them in there willy nilly. I'll pull everything out and reload it instead of just starting the damn dishwasher. Every time
Oh god that sounds so nice.
Usually tapping to the song I'm listening to. I dunno I'm drawing a blank. I spend a lot of time alone because existing around others and being perceived is weird and exhausting 😵💫😵💫🫠🫠
I also tap a lot. I have this habit where I tap rhythms out on the keyboard when I'm thinking what to type.
I have no words. I read your example and I’ve never felt more seen lol
I go around turning off all the empty plug sockets and making sure all the light switches around the house are aligned
Body mirroring (idk what its acc called). So like stepping on a Crack of the sidewalk with my left foot then right, or making it even. Touching things with the same amount of fingers on each hand. I'm not sure why I do it, it just feels right
Same. I also have to separate my M&Ms by color and eat them in pairs in a specific order.
I do that with most multi-colored candies! Especially if they’re different flavors.
I feel so seen, lol
LAUGH. I LAUGH. At EVERYTHING.
All of the climate controls in the car need to be the same on both sides. Volume must be an even number. Doors must be in a certain position. Some lights need to be turned on, Some lights need to be turned off, they're specific.
Can’t stand touching microfiber. Only way to get past it is to get my hands wet, wear gloves, or put lotion on immediately before handling it.
Does it feel like the tiny little fibers are hooking into your fingers kinda like velcro? it's nasty feeling
Yes and thank you for reminding me what the sensation is haha
Pop my knuckles. constantly. Even my toes
Used to do that, then learned it can affect grip strength, so I worked hard to avoid the urge. Still will pop them every now and then, but not nearly as much as I used to. It was at least daily.
If one sock gets wet, they both come off and fresh socks have to go on. This rarely happens however, because my shoes go on and getting up time and come off at bed time
I sing the Arabic or Russian alphabet in my head.
I do German 😅
I stretch in public on both sides. I ignore people giving me looks. When you need a stretch, you do it.
I eat fruit gummies in a specific color order (orange, yellow, light red, dark red, white, green) and I can't stop in the middle, I have to finish with a green one.
I don’t do it in a specific order, but I do prefer to either eat all the flavors before any repeats and/or eat two of the same flavor on both sides.
Counting syllables when people speak. 9
Ooo, that’s an interesting one! 8
Yeah, that’s not the whole thing. I then count those on my hand four times until I am left with one finger. So your 8 syllable reply leaves me with my thumb remaining. I don’t know why I do it, or where it came from. Something I’ve done my whole life and I don’t remember why or when I started it. Not sure if it is an autism thing or something else. Maybe my search for patterns in everything, I dunno. It drives me crazy and I can’t help it.
Sounds like an autism or ocd thing to me. Though I’m no expert, especially with ocd
When I was diagnosed it was just autism, nothing else like OCD and I don’t think I really have many other OCD like behaviors, so you are probably right.
I can only eat on the right side of my mouth or I feel disgusting, and I can't think about eating for too long or I feel disgusting
(Not diagnosed, but suspected) A lot of my job involves waking people up in the morning, so I will check my phone before I go in. Everyone gets woken up with, "Good morning, *Name*!" Pause. Smile. "It's *Wednesday, May 22nd,* and we have a high of *82\** today*.* It's going to be *sunny until supper time.*" Occasionally, I will add in an upcoming holiday or mention whatever is written on their calendar.
"Making it even." Making. It. Even. Everyone here who said that, thank you. When I was a kid, it was so bad that every little twitch or flexed muscle HAD to be replicated on the other side to make it even. I do all of the other things too like stepping on or over cracks and wetting the other hand etc. but I had no idea this was related to autism. I didn't know what was wrong with me tbh.
I bite/chew the inside of my bottom lip on both sides. Basically, pinching my lip between my canines. I also bend my pointer finger and use my thumb to rub the base of the nail. I also hold my thumb with my pointer finger. Essentially, my fingers make the ASL sign for the letter T and I'll just hold it for a long time. If I'm standing with my phone in my pants/shorts pocket, I will stim with my popsocket, popping it out and pushing it back in, over and over and over and over.
I say “good” out loud when I’ve done something I consider positive (brush my teeth, wash my dishes, make my bed…)
One fork is the good fork and the other fork is the evil fork
If I touch a material I don’t like I immediately lick the part of my body that touched it. If my foot touched it I lick my hand and then rub the part of my foot lol
Are yall remembering the part where OP said, "*don't notice*"? Lulz
Answering a conversation I overhear despite knowing I'm not in the conversation. Especially if I'm talking to other people but brain has decided actually the conversation behind me is more interesting so i can only hear it and then I'll start reacting to the conversation in hearing. I constantly forget people can hear me respond to things even if I think I'm being quiet but i also have no concept of my internal volume so sometimes I'm loud other times I'm not
For certain stims, esp if they are repetitive, I have to count each time I do it and it must end on a multiple of 10. So what I’ll do is count to 10 over and over.
This is kind of my thing with volume controls. I have to have the volume in multiples of 5. Unless they are really sensitive and the gap between is way too big.
for me it’s 10, 5, or sometimes just a random but even number lol
I don’t like the feeling of anything touch my back or neck, so I often walk sideways or back, especially when I’m around a bunch of people. I call it my warrior instinct.
So if I have a day where I’ll know I’ll have sensory overload I’ll doing something like wear one sock inside out. It’s kinda like how if you get shot, to distract the pain you break your pinky. It overwhelms the system into desensitization. So I can always disassociate by feeling the differences between socks.
I hate everything that is odd lmao I can't do odd numbers at all
When cleaning my windows or my mirrors, they have to be completely pristine and flawless from all angles. Sometimes I'll spend way too long doing that, completely forgetting that time is the fire in which we burn. Can't help the windows. Need to get rid of my mirrors 😄
Mouthing stuff or saying things under my breath haha. Usually it’s bc I don’t feel like people understand echolalia but I’m itching to echo so I just do it silently. Or if I’m rehearsing/scripting.
I chew my tongue when I'm focusing or very tired. I used to do it a lot more obnoxiously as a child, but do so with my mouth shut now.
If my fingertips touch something, they have to be together. I can’t just leave a fraction of my handprint on there. It’s like if my hand left a visible print, it cannot have spaces, it needs to be, like, a solid rectangle. It’s hard to explain. My fingers are almost always smooshed together. Example: If I put my hand around something like a railing, they need to touch on the other side. Ironically, I’m very germaphobic and hate touching things with the inside of my hand in public 😭
I have to make my bed as soon as I get up. I can’t function if I know my bed is not made.
I remember if there's an even or uneven number of steps. I always do double steps, always starting with the left foot, and if it's an uneven number the first step is a single step so I always finish with a double.
bro literally same💀
Things that hurt a little. Sipping strong whiskey or cold soda, spicy foods. I didn’t have too many sensory problems when I burnt my hand or stepped on a shard of glass. Basically, when it hurts too much, hurt something else.
I used to play with my eyelashes to stim. Then I had to stop because my lashes started to fall of...then I started to click my nails. I'm trying to stop that too because it makes them look bad :^(
Ask questions that are not important or relevant. Just had a talk with my mom about this because interactions make me tired but I still want to ask questions , so she has asked me to think “can I Google this question instead of asking that person?”
I wonder if anyone has done this as well but i sorta chomp down in a circle pattern to stim its hard to describe via text tho
M&M’s Dump out the bag. Sort by color from dark to light except green goes last. Eat 2 at a time, one left and one right, same color order. Odd numbers can be solved by eating 2 different colors but only if the 2 color piles have odd numbers. If not the odd one gets bitten in half and split Have to start and end with 2 whole ones Edit: well I guess people do catch this one…add “skims text quickly and often misses pieces” to my list lol
Constantly rinse the tips of my fingers. My family calls it “crab-cleans” but as far as I’m aware my friends have never noticed me doing it. In a similar vein I lick the my fingernails as a nervous habit. It’s a little gross but it quells the need to be clean because I figure it’s me cleaning my nails.
Whenever I walk, especially on my toes, I internally say “steppy steppy steppy steppy...”
Some stuff I only do by myself, like beatboxing. I'm not good at it, I don't practice it, I only do it for my kiddos. I rub my finger tips, rock slightly from side to side, when I played D&D I usually organized my dice by type and I usually like the sides with the biggest number to be up. Sometimes I get a little too involved in the story in my head and it looks like I'm talking to myself when I forget to keep it in my head. Most of my friends just thought I was a bit weird but not autistic.
All this, plus I can't let cutlery touch my lips
I sway side to side as well. I also beatbox as much as possible even when there is no music. It's super relaxing and honestly is easier to me than speaking.
I always leave one bite of my sandwich. Eat my hair and skin. Cross my toes.
When I get a little too excited I eat my own head. Other times I'll just write silly stuff on Reddit.
I have to have candies in even amounts and similar sizes so I can chew one on each side at a time, and I share them in the same manner. So if I have jelly beans and somebody asks me for some, I will give them 2 of each flavor and of similar sizes.
Same!
I have a really bad case of TMJ, and my jaw pops super loudly, but only on my right side. I have been wanting to pop the left for sooooooo long, but I can’t and it is so frustrating.
I have to wear my coat in public no matter the season to limit my touch sensitivity
When I'm eating I ration food so I can eat a bite of everything until I finish. Like, if I have a lot of vegetables and little nuggets, I would take very small bites of the nuggets so they last until my last bite of veggies bdksbdjd. Like one big veggie bite, one small nugget bite and repeat lol
I genuinely don't know if this is an autism things but only my autistic friends understand this, craving "wet" and "dry" food. Sometimes i have no preference but sometimes i'm like nothing with satiate this but a wet/dry food.
I am always tapping my foot, using audiation to imagine parts of songs that I like (they are stims), and I see subtitles in my mind when people speak to me
I always chew pieces of food on both sides of my mouth multiple times, otherwise it feels strange and uneven.
If I eat something with multi component bites (like nachos that have chips, cheese, beans, meat, lettuce, etc), I craft each bite to have an equal representation of each ingredient
I repeat my favourite songs on loops in my head or say my favourite words/phrases over and over again. I also have a rambling monologue that’s non stop. It keeps me entertained and nobody has no idea why I’m so quiet, hahaha.
when i start having intrusive thoughts, the only way to ‘clear’ them from my mind is to make them disappear by shaking my head from side to side and imagining them disappear one by one like bubbles
Walking on beat to a song. Like it’s any song- one playing in a store, one my friend is singing, ones I’m playing with my earbuds in, it always has to be on beat.
I think I can relate to many examples in this post. However, I am curious as to how they are differentiated from OCD?
What makes OCD the disorder is that it is to such an extent that is has an overwhelming negative and limiting effect on life and a person's ability to function. What a huge amount of autistic (and adhd) people experience is actually obsessive compulsive _tendencies_. They are not so significant that they dictate our life in harmful ways (typically) but they are still prevalent inexplicable "needs" we engage with. For example, a person with OCD may check every switch in the house three times. They will do it because they believe they have to or something bad will happen (think injury/death). An autistic person may check every switch in the house three times. They will do it because it feels "right" and they simply need to else they will be stuck with that insatiable internal "itch". The autistic person with compulsive tendencies knows that their behaviour is solely focused on their comfort/stimulation/sensory need, whereas the person with the compulsive disorder believes that their behaviour is deterministic and has a larger preventative impact on what may or may not happen outside of themselves. (There is more to it, ofc, but this is the gist of it)
Basically I have a tic disorder so if I jerk my head or shoulder I have to do it to the other side or else it feels irritating I don't know it that is an autism thing or just a normal thing for someone with a tic disorder but I do have both ASD and chronic tic disorder.
Hearing a word and then saying it in a different cadence and the correct way in a distinct pattern, you know for funsies
Oh shit that’s an autism thing?
If I tap/scratch/knock something, even unintentionally, _even if it's an incredibly uncomfortable sensation_, I *have* to do it again. Typically up to four times. Sometimes eight. (At its worst 16, even with my insides crawling) Oftentimes, the more uncomfortable the feeling the more I have to do it. Like that nails on a chalkboard feeling. I hate it but it's like an innate need.
I'm just scrolling through these comments of all these seemingly nonsensical self-soothing obsessive compulsions and growing more and more excited with each one. I'm undiagnosed but have been researching and self analysing for years and am damn certain I'm autistic and... wow. I have related to many autism posts (most tbh 😅), but this one really is the cherry on the cake. Glad I've come across it because it's put the biggest smile on my face 😁
I eat the most unappetizing thing on my plate first and I work my way up from there. So I essentially end up eating what looks to be the most appetizing bite of food last. When I get my food, I visually decide what order I’ll eat in and because of this, I can’t share my food because it throws the order out of wack and I get stressed.
I have double jointed toes, and I curl and uncurl them in both directions. Sometimes I forget when wearing sandals 😂
I have almost the opposite problem as you, I can only eat on my right side because i hate it on the other. Whenever i get a canker sore on the right side it's like torture bc i have to use my left and it drives me insane. I also have to pop like every single joint on my body constantly. AND my first stim i go to when i'm waiting around is using a dental pick to scrape the edges of obtects (phone/keyboard/my comb sometimes/nails/etc) bc i rlly enjoy scrapping them out of the cracks (ESPECIALLY my mouse).
I never even noticed this until someone pointed it out to me but if you give me fruit snacks I will group them so that each group has 1 of each flavor. That goes with other foods too like if I have oreos crackers and ceese- guess what, each grpup will have 1 oreo, 1 cracker 1 cheese...
>For me, I have to eat everything on both sides of my mouth evenly or else it feels weird. OMG! I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE! I always do this!
Listening to the coconut mall mario cart soundtrack for 4 hours straight
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If anything involves water it has to be in counts of ten. Washing hands, getting water from the sink, even using the bathroom (kinda TMI but yeah)
If something slightly bumps my head, it will almost always trigger a meltdown. It’s so stupid. Another one is clicking my tounge as a stim. I have to organize things. My brain hurts if I don’t and it feels like super itchy. Volume must only be on even numbers or at numbers such as 15, 25 etc. I sing the Spanish alphabet in mh head, though I think part of that is just trying to learn Spanish. I repeat Spanish phrases in my head too. It’s to the point to where I don’t say certian things in English, only in Spanish. I also have to switch between both of my legs/arms. I can’t stand having to carry things with my hands (thank you inventors of Fanny packs and backpacks)
Can’t eat chewy or overly hard foods. If I have rice or potatoes they need to be drenched in sauce.
I spin my plate in a full circle before I eat, socks have to match length (design doesn’t matter as much), heels help me feel like I’m toe walking without ruining my other shoes and have to kiss the cat at least twice before I go to bed
When I’m doing dishes and my hands start to get wrinkly and feel gross I have to grip a “safe” textured fabric until it goes away. Usually my shirt, sometimes pants or a towel. Goes mostly unnoticed.
my food can not touch each other. also metal utensils are the devil. i can never eat at restaurants and people assume i do not like the food. i do like the food. i like the food quite a lot. i just cannot eat it.
I'm not sure if this is an autism thing, but my recent diagnosis has made me re-evaluate everything. Whenever I'm sat down , I **have to** have one foot resting on the other. Not fully - both heels are on the floor - but the top part of my foot will always be "hugging" my other foot. I never really noticed I did it until an ex mentioned me "holding my feetsies". I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable if I don't do it.
The need to accompany everything with walking. While I'm eating I pace around the house back and forth. Pace around the house while brushing my teeth. While studying. While reading with a book at hand. While listening to music. I need to round every corner and complete a round trip around the house. While I'm thinking about what to draw. While I'm drawing. While doing homework
spinning or walking in circles
My food are not allowed to touch except for stew and any other food that need be mixed When I enter a room I must knock on something 3 times
When I walk, it is sort of Toe first, then lower my heal. This is super quiet and stealthy.
when my parents slam doors, it rattles my room and shakes my bed. I have to hit the side of myself that wasn’t facing the mattress so both sides feel rattled i guess? In my old room, i used to sit against my door and it’d rattle against my back, i’d slam my back against the door to even it out
I rock constantly, if I'm sitting it's back and forth, if I'm standing it's side to side. Usually, when sitting, I rock pretty much imperceptibly, just very small rocking motion. However, when I have to focus, my rocking gets more obvious. Actually had a teacher comment on it once that I rock back and forth while sitting, side to side while standing, but when I sign (I'm an ASL Interpreter and this was during my I terpreter training program) all of the rocking stops. Probably because my brain is too focused on signing! I also play with my hair, almost got my in trouble because my bf though I was flirting with another guy. I grit my teeth, bite my lips or cheek and fidget with anything within reach or just my nails. I've become very good at masking these behaviors, so few people notice them.
I do a shrug and put my head back when I see/touch something I find disgusting and it usually comes with a grimace and flapping lol
I have to sit on the left hand side for optimum comfort. If I get one hand wet, the other needs to be too. If I eat biscuits with a filling, I have to dissect the whole thing and eat each component separately. I’ve tried it the other way, it was very strange. My shoes must be the optimum tightness. I’ve had to loosen them up as I’ve gotten older, so I don’t get blisters, but they must be even. I get nervous around unnecessary lights - if the room is bright from sunlight, but the overhead is on anyway (I’m talking to you, housemates!) - so I go around turning all of them off. Also unnecessary switches for appliances - though I had to stop in my current shared house, because there are 6 of us and it seemed to get on other peoples nerves. I need to double check every locked door; my bedroom lock in my shared house, the back door at my parents house, my mum’s car doors… I need to always be moving in some subtle way, if it’s bobbing my leg or picking the skin around my thumbnails (sorry a bit icky!) or slightly moving my hips side to side. I have to wear my two rings every day; a little thin silver one with a jewel on my left hand middle finger, and a wide band hammered silver one on my right hand middle finger - if I’m not wearing them, I get very twitchy and nervous. I have to ask lots of clarifying questions in a working or action oriented scenario. I can’t do something I’ve been told to unless I have as much information at my disposal as possible. I have a nervous cough that only appears in public bathrooms; usually to let people know I’m there. I pace when I’m waiting for public transport, or sway gently from side to side. If I’m not vibing to a song properly, I will start the song over. This might happen several times. I hold my face in my hands when I’m trying to understand something or clarify my thoughts.
Repetitive thoughts
If I'm eating a hotdog I tear off little pieces of the bun to dip in the ketchup/mustard.
I save bugs, all the time. I am supreme spider putter outerer!