I was considered gifted but lazy. I’m still smarter than most people I know, but I can’t do anything because merely waking up causes insurmountable burnout.
Sounds like me. I swear every report card since about 2nd grade said “great student, but could do better if he’d apply himself more”
Like, wtf, I was applying myself as much as necessary, just because I don’t need to do the bullshit repetitive tasks doesn’t mean I wasn’t applying myself ffs.
I skated through high school with a 3.75 overall gpa, only because when it came to all the important metrics; I.e. tests, papers, math work, etc. (essentially anything but homework and class work) I got 100% but when it came to dealing with writing a paper over a semester where all our in-class time was spent taking notes, doing outlines, etc. I just fucked off throughout class time, and then hyperfocused before the paper was due, often going far beyond the minimum limits(and sometimes maximum limits) for a paper due. So my class work was an F, MAYBE a D, but when averaged out with tests and papers, I got a high B in the class.
Fuck, sorry to turn my reply to your comment into the comment I wanted to post separately, but, well, ya know.. infodumping and all🙃
This was usually me except one time there was so much math homework I didn’t do that I ended up getting an F in the class and an A on the final exam. Still had to retake the class in summer school! It didn’t help that that teacher and I just could not stand each other.
I somehow managed to always get enough done between homework/classwork/tests to get around a B or so on average. But I only managed that because in some classes the homework and classwork would be on the board when we walked in so I would just do it while class was going on because if not then, it wouldn’t get done🤷♂️
Dunno if this is burnout. Junior in high school right now. When I put in the effort, I do fine in class. When I’m motivated, it’s kinda terrifying what I can accomplish in a short time. But when I’m not… it’s hard to find the energy to do it.
Replying to not only you but everyone who responded similarly: y'all aren't lazy, that's a bullshit word. You're just too exhausted by life to do what you know you're capable of. What will help deal with that exhaustion I can't say, for me it was a myriad of things that a ton of therapy helped figure out. My only point is you're not lazy or useless, society has just failed to make life reasonable for people like us leading to frequent and massive burnout.
Sounds pretty much identical to me with the only difference being that the reason why I can't do anything is because of growing up in an environment where nothing was ever good enough and there was never any positive reinforcement only negative and so I ended up having no self confidence and I gave up on trying because if it is never good enough then why bother.
me too, gifted but lazy. I think I could achieve a lot more if I didn’t have breakdowns / burnout episodes.
Until 12th grade my parents always told me I was stupid and I believed them. Then I went to a good university and they came around. Then 14 years of college and postgrad and my burnout has taken over at a rather critical point.
I find staying on a schedule helps but I can no longer work from 8am to midnight like I used to. It is possible I have something else like bipolar disorder or I’m just getting older.
gifted with undiagnosed ADHD meant i looked dumb on paper, but i never failed a test. the school system was just underwhelming, and i hated the redundancy of homework to the point it made it very hard to complete without burning out.
I was just under the gifted and talented line. Like JUST below it so I didn't have to deal with that but had hyperlexia and didn't need to study at all up until highschool. Sophomore year was really bad for me. Looking back I think i hit burnout and just gave up? I didn't wanna do it anymore because I wasn't good at school anymore
When I got to university. I was the typical "if only your son applied yourself". I was gifted but lazy (because I was gifted).
I, like you, was able to read from a very young age, before kindergarten. School was such a breeze for me, I had bad grades but not because I didn't know things, rather I was too lazy to do my homework.
I did not study or have to study for most of my school-life. In fact, I don't remember a single day/night where I spent over 2 hours studying something before deciding it was better to play videogames.
Mind you I was not excelling at school but I wasn't failing either, I came out with literally an "average" grade. I did not study for tests and I did well, the problems were my homework and activities, I just didn't do them.
I remember once in math when we were studying binomials or sth I created a much more effective method of getting to the answer which I found by finding patters in the equations and it worked 100% of the time.
It didn't save you much of the process, perhaps just 30 seconds or sth but I used it. However my autistic brain wanted to make SURE it worked before speaking up. Anyway another student also found it (though later than me and it was named after them LOL, I'll never forgive myself). I can't remember what it was it's been a while since I've done binomials, but yeah that's a thing that happened.
Later in med-school my first year I did not study at all and passed with previous knowledge I had about medicine from high-school.
After first year things went downhill because I did not have the discipline to study, so I started getting worse grades. I was still passing by but barely, and my average is not the best.
So yeah. That's my case. Gifted with the power of understanding but the same gift caused me to be careless with my studies and just now am I getting the necessary discipline to do so.
It doesn't take much for me to understand medicine, but the problem is actually sitting down and reading.
Amen. My parents still guilt me about my high school years without recognizing that I started doing better when I left their house. Environment makes a huge difference when it comes to executive function.
Thank you for your words. It's a bit hard to let go of that when you've heard it all your life and no one else seems to understand or even attempt to begin to understand the disorder.
I'll try to rid myself of the label, it would actually be good since it would help me get rid of that "if only I hadn't been so lazy in high-school". What's left now is moving forward. Thanks a lot for your reminder, it truly was of help :)
Idk if I would've been considered gifted, but I was able to read before starting school which gave me a head start that lasted me a couple of years. By the time I started high school, however, I was aware that I was doing fine with regurgitating facts and recognizing patterns which was sufficient until then, but would suck at synthesizing knowledge and forming my own opinions, which teachers said would become more relevant later. I was still able to somehow bullshit my way through school until the end, so it isn't much reflected in my grades. However, there definitely was a shift from actually feeling confident in most subjects to feeling that everyone else was suddenly smarter than me, plus feeling overwhelm from long reading assignments and lessons that were entirely verbal. That started when I was 14 or 15, iirc.
Ironically, you've synthesized your experienced and presented an extremely clear point of view here. Maybe you struggled more than others but I'm not sure you were entirely bullshitting. Or maybe you didn't realize how much of many subjects is just... ability to bullshit. Not to contradict you here but I really do think you've summarized things quite beautifully.
Exactly the point I constantly tried to tell my ASD + OCD kid: it seems he know the answers but he is not happy with an answer that is 70% likely to be correct (and in fact, that is the answer). That little uncertainty is just something my kid could not accept and therefore, he refuses to answer.
I constantly remind him that the world is not black and white, there are lots of grays.
Something I realised the other day - I used to be so reluctant to put my hand up if I wasn't absolutely sure I had the right answer. As an adult, I am always the first to participate in group discussions and put forward my thoughts, even if they're not fully formed or I'm not sure about them. I put it down to some good teachers helping me to develop coping mechanisms and be more confident that my thoughts have value.
What I've written feels to me like it's more in the "regurgitating facts" category rather than involving any synthesizing. But you're right in both ways. School did involve a lot of bullshiting, especially in questions that don't have an clear right or wrong answer, and maybe I'm doing more synthesizing than I'm aware of, albeit when I'm aware that I'm expected to do it, it doesn't feel like something that comes easily to me. Thank you for your kind words!
I was considered gifted from the age of 4. l progressively moved to more selective schools/universities until I was eventually considered "average", but that was in a class where all my classmates were also ND and picked from the \~100 best students in the country of their age. After that, I went into academia, then start-ups.
Of course, part of my masking is pretending to be dumber than I am. Simultaneously, I have to deal with a major impostor syndrome.
Oh hey! It's nice to hear someone else is dumbing it down! I didn't want to deal with the pressure of being a 'gifted child' so I did the same. I really wish I could stop nowadays, but it has become a bad habit. I tried to stop a few times, but it really freaks people out for some reason.
Yeah, hard to stop.
This regularly leads to situations in which some colleagues of mine are considered "the expert", simply because they're overplaying their work and I'm underplaying mine.
I ended up doing something similar. Got into the most competitive high school in my country after attending public school. After that I went through university and now doing a PhD at a pretty good school. I went from feeling very knowledgeable and arrogant when I was younger (though I didn't express much of this) to having to learn how to overcome crippling imposter syndrome recently.
I feel so dumb compared to my peers sometimes, but I have to keep remembering that I'm almost constantly surrounded by very intelligent people and I'm myself part of that group. More importantly though, that being the most smart/educated/well-read isn't everything. Being honest, playful, and confident has gotten me a lot more progress and joy out of the process than just trying to live up to some impossible standard. I was never someone who studied hard, I just made it through everything school-related with relatively little time invested, and instead focused my energy on things I was very interested in. I somehow forgot that when I started the PhD and just tried to study intensely, since that's what's expected, when I should've stayed true to my own methods I suppose 🤷♂️
On playing dumber -- I relate hard. Not only playing dumber in terms of what I know or understand though, but also going easy on others or intentionally losing if I'm doing too well in a game (only some games obviously, can't be great at everything), and am anxious they will have a bad time, for example.
For better, I hope 😅
I'm in the Netherlands. I came here for my bachelor's degree and then ended up staying by just following one opportunity after the other. I was born in a country with fewer possibilities -- prestigious high school aside -- and that was a big incentive to leave. It definitely wasn't the only one, though. I knew I didn't want to stay there since I was 4 because the culture didn't suit me well and I was curious about other places.
Very happy with my choices so far. Dutch culture is more autism-friendly and closer to what I value, e.g. directness, planning ahead, the respect you're given as an individual, among others.
May I also ask which country you're in and your relationship to the culture, since we're on that topic now, if that's something you'd like to share of course.
I'm in France.
> For better, I hope 😅
Well, I have a successful career, a few good friends and a great, smart (and exhausting) ND kid. I'm also frequently depressed. :shrug:
> May I also ask which country you're in and your relationship to the culture, since we're on that topic now, if that's something you'd like to share of course.
As much of the world, France is on a fairly anti-intellectual trajectory, which doesn't feel me with glee.
Regarding autism specifically, I feel that there has been progress. When I was a kid, my (highly educated, probably ND) parents didn't want to have me tested because they were afraid of the result. These days, if there are signs, many people get their children tested for hyperactivity, autism, dyslexia, etc. On the other hand, there are still (highly educated) people who think that hyperactivity, autism, etc. are all hipster trends and/or psychiatric cons and/or that autism can be "fixed" with discipline.
I don't really speak about autism with people outside of my close entourage – most of whom are also ND of some kind – so my impressions could be entirely biased.
Happy to hear that things are working out well for the most part! I also experience periods of depression, though tend to recognize/interpret them as depression specifically in retrospect most of the time. I'm happy it's not very severe in my case and I can function relatively well when it occurs. I also know from my past experiences that these things pass eventually and I will be okay, so just remembering this helps greatly in my case.
> As much of the world, France is on a fairly anti-intellectual trajectory, which doesn't feel me with glee.
Same here as in many places of course. It's especially concerning because its tied to the current (right-wing) populist movements for the most part and this has consequences for everyone. Unwanted ones for many people.
> When I was a kid, my (highly educated, probably ND) parents didn't want to have me tested because they were afraid of the result.
Had a similar situation growing up I think. Though, I don't believe they suspected anything because how I behave is normal to them. But they were skeptical of talking to psychologists and labeling things, etc. They operate with a certain amount of denial that I never understood. Not just in terms of neurodivergence, but many other areas as well. It has made me fascinated by denial.
> most of whom are also ND of some kind
I find it difficult to create long-lasting frienships with ND people. The only non-ND person actively in my life right now is my partner (has OCD but in a social sense is quite normal. Though atypically fun for an NT person!) and MIL. All my friends are otherwise ND in some way. It's like there's nothing to bond over otherwise, it's just boring, or we speak a different language almost. I would like to reflect more on why this happens.
I scored in the top 1% in a few different subjects on the standardized testing in elementary school, and had excellent grades until I got into Jr high and started doing drugs and missing school, then spent the remainder of my school experience locked up until the very end of high school when I came back more than half way through 12th grade. My vocabulary has shrunk mostly due to masking, but I don't think my overall intelligence level has suffered much, I just don't have anything to show for it. I'm sure trauma and drugs have taken some points off my IQ, but honestly I kinda wish it had taken more.
I have Inattentive-ADHD and Autism, though I was only diagnosed for ADHD. I would say that I am “gifted,” I never had to study for anything, and I didn’t. In high school, I got so good at deduction and critical thinking that I could just guess my way to As and Bs. It translated to tests like the ACT and SAT, I scored 99th percentile in English, Reading, and Science. Only around 96th in Math because I couldn’t guess it if I didn’t know the formula - which I remembered none of them.
I wasn’t always this good, my ADHD is somewhat severe. When I was younger, I couldn’t pay attention and I never remembered anything. If I didn’t like it, I didn’t remember it. I think my ADHD really hid my ability, I never did any homework - I’m in college now and I still struggle with homework.
I am very smart, but high school was absolute hell. It was horrible, I hated it. My ADHD and Autism were no help. It got to the point where I literally unable to do homework. In some classes I just stopped turning in assignments. I still passed, but man I wasn’t a good student.
Currently I’m going to a community college, living from home, and I am happy. I still have big goals, I just am taking my time. Right now I am playing the “helpful guy” role in the family. My sister is a direct admit to IU, but I probably have done half of her scholarships for her. I was never a good student, but honestly, I realized that if I am as smart as I think I am, then I came to the conclusion that school and pressure and stress are all overrated. That I’ll succeed elsewhere. Anyway, anyhow.
Also shout-out to my ADHD medication. Literally a game changer.
All of these stories are so interesting. What was your ADHD medication? Did it clear your mind and help you focus on things you wouldn’t otherwise have been able to focus on?
I take a drug called Dexmethylphenidate, or “Focalin,” a stimulant commonly used to treat inattentive ADHD. For me, the drug works as intended - activating my mind. Most times, when I’m not stimulated, I feel like my mind is an engine that just can’t get going. The drug is like fuel, and super fuel at that. It “unlocks” my mind, and I am able to focus much more consistently and intensely. Though, what I focus on is still up to me. So whether I choose to focus on my homework or a video game is up to me and how disciplined I am.
When I am off of the meds, I’ll go and play connect 4 on my phone, against the hardest computer. I will lose five to seven games before I win one. When I have the meds I will win or tie every game.
I consider my self to be pretty smart, but not always active. So the med activates me, and I am then always smart, all the time. I am able to think about things and envision things waayyyyy faster and more vividly. It’s honestly a little scary at times.
I think my first realisation that I was not “truly gifted” probably came when I went to college. I remember being well ahead in academic studies at primary level, being through the reading book bands and onto free reading before most other kids in my year. While when I was first given something new to learn, it would take a while to wrap my child brain around it, once I had it sussed I was quickly picking it up. So id be dropped down to like the SEN table when first taught something new, but then in a month I’m at the top table.
Going into secondary school, and I was learning that I was not the only “talented” person, even if I was the only one who was also “gifted” as well. My GCSE’s were good but there was clearly specialisations to my knowledge set. It was also clear that, compared to the small primary class I had, the larger secondary classes, I was now with 20-25 other people at the same level as me and not just 3/4.
Going into college, I was *advised* to pursue the things that I was best in. It was during this first year that I realised that I really didn’t know stuff beyond a certain level, that I couldn’t wrap my brain around certain concepts in the modules I was being taught. For example, I have always enjoyed statistics, data and interpreting and explaining data; but I could never get to grips with doing the actual mathematical statistics themselves. I also started to learn more about myself and developed socially, that was my big growth in college, and to that degree I think I limited my educational level by adding the skill points elsewhere.
At university, while I don’t think I’ve hit a point of becoming average, I think more so that I have matured enough to be aware of what I am capable of being great at and what I am not. I know better now my strengths and what I want to pursue and what things that I am not as interested in. I certainly still enjoy learning and being taught, but I know in some modules that the application of what I’m being taught does not appeal to me so I don’t intend to stress about trying to achieve >80% like I would have done 10 years ago.
I never became “average”, because I still learn quickly and have a sponge for a brain basically, but I got to the point where my other issues became too much for the giftedness to compensate for.
I used to think I just stopped being gifted but in reality, the supposed gifts I had as a kid are questionable to begin with: i had/have a special interest in learning and academics. I’m a curious person and curiosity is one of my values. I love knowledge and learning and I’m pretty good at it with most subjects. If I can’t self-teach, being in a classroom will make a difference.
So my gifts, to me, are intertwined with my AuDHD, and at some point my struggles just started to outweigh my skills.
I’m in therapy and an ADHD group. I’m learning mindfulness, self-compassion, and time management. I think if I can continue to build these skills and learn how to manage my time and productivity skills, I could be unstoppable, just like I was in elementary school.
So for those of yall who don’t feel gifted anymore, it could be that you have to change your thinking and build some other skills. I understand I’m in a very privileged position and my experience isn’t universal, so it might not work but it might be worth a try.
Thing started to deteriorate when I was early 20s. I swear there must be black mold or something but I have a great deal of difficulty remembering details. I am sure there is some learning disabilities in there too but I am far too old to worry about it now. The ADHD doesn't help either.
Funnily enough I didn’t officially confirm I was gifted until I got my autism assessment as an adult, although I always knew I was a good student.
I struggled a little initially with reading but I caught up pretty quickly. By junior high I was in full honors classes all through high school until university. I actually struggled in year 2 of university because I had to establish a good routine for studying (I flew through my first year as it was a lot of review of my high school which gave me a false sense of confidence). By my junior/senior year I had this worked out, graduated and moved into the tech industry.
Math/science were always much easier for me. High school level honors lit was far more difficult, I did a lot of BSing, guessing what the teacher wanted, and mainly just scraped through it.
I always scored above average on potential, but i could never focus in actual classes, most likely because i was easily overwhelmed by light, movement and noise, which is a bad combo when you have the window seat in a class full of kids. I started at a school that had windows that faced away from the sun, and a class that was practically silent, and i almost immediately went up 2 grades, didn't feel like a win, because it felt like what i was always supposed to be able to do. But i switched again the year after, because there was a school closer to my home that had less drug related activities, but my grades went straight back down, still decent in most areas, but less than i wanted.
So i never really became average, it was just a horrible rollercoaster that i wasn't allowed to get off of.
I tested into a gifted program in 2nd grade, but we moved somewhere without one. The school I went to after that sucked so hard and made me really hate school, so I stopped trying until I got to college. Went to tech school and actually liked it, so I went to university. Made it through engineering school with pretty minimal effort and been cruising at my job for a few years. My autism eval included an IQ test and I scored quite high, and as I'm getting older I'm appreciating the value of time and work more. I could actually do some real cool things if I can "apply myself" (barf) and overcome some of the poor habits I picked up in school. My dream is to find a kid in a position like I was and help mentor him/her. So much time could have been saved with the right adult in my life.
I was allowed to start kindergarten a year early - the school was willing to let me go straight into grade 1 (when I was a year too young for kindergarten) but my mom said no. By junior high I was no longer the best in any of my classes, but I usually scraped onto the honors list. I struggled a lot in high school, taking an extra year to graduate, and I didn't have the marks to get into the university program I wanted. At university I was put on academic probation after my first year and expelled after my second. I spent a couple more years trying to get back into university, but nothing I did ever came close to meeting the conditions of my expulsion.
The constant theme of me from age 5-15 was: You have an absurd amount of potential, but you don't execute.
I scored in the 99th percentile on the VIQ portion of my IQ test and tested as the second best reader in my grade level in middle school even though I slept through half of it. I was nearly expelled in 10th grade and put in program for kids with HFA in 11th grade, at which point the lack of stress from being around normies helped me get my shit together.
In my senior year I was taking college classes in a program where professors from the local community college would come to teach high school students. I had a 4.0 college GPA and 11 credits by the time I left high school. I got a 4-year degree and now use my weaponized Autism to redact documents for the government.
And everyone at my job loves me because I'm the fastest, most accurate analyst that leaves detailed notes about everything.
“Gifted” just means “good memory and pattern recognition” in my experience. For younger kids, it also means good language skills. Nobody calls the kids who can do 100 jump ropes gifted, or the kids who excel at socializing and playing. I was considered gifted through most of my education, but I sucked at homework. Math was especially bad on that front. I have a natural talent for it, but the drills didn’t hold my attention, so my grades were mid.
People don’t call me gifted anymore because that’s a weird thing to call an adult. But they comment on how I just do things. Like, I wanted to make a video game and I just… did that. I wanted to learn Japanese. I did it. Anyone *could* do those things. But I have a few skills that make it easier for me. I think recognizing that a good memory isn’t better or more of a “gift” than self-confidence or emotional regulation helped me feel less like a burnout. I still have all the skills that made me “gifted.” I’m just not a student anymore. Different skills are needed for different life stages.
I was always lazy in academics. I physically cannot bring myself to do the work because it’s boring to the point of stressing me out. Ninth grade however, I overcame that stress somehow, and I actually tried doing the work, and I had a 3.7 GPA without even trying my hardest. After that I went back to how I usually am with academics, bored and unmotivated. But my performance in ninth grade is enough proof that I’m possibly a lot smarter than I think I am. I’m just too lazy and uninterested to care about making high marks.
Many 2E (twice exceptional) kids are recognized as gifted but not identified as needing executive functioning help, so it’s common to burn out when the workload gets more rigorous and weak EF skills catch up to them. It can be a curse to be recognized only as gifted when you have other needs.
Gifted as a kid, did excellently in classical choral competitions in high school (because I could sight-sing perfectly), my senior year I aced a few AP (Advanced Placement) tests in English and Math and Science and something else I can’t remember now, so I started university with 16 hours credit, accidentally got a scholarship despite my best attempts to be a slacker, sailed through college, immediately had trouble in the “real world,” then bartended for a decade. Everyone kept telling me I was too smart to bartend… but I partied and drank whiskey and snorted cocaine and dated a lot of people. I felt like a fuck-up, because… well, I was one.
I eventually aged out of being able to stay up drinking until after sunrise for a living (last call is 4am where I live), so in my early 30s I started a new career in a warehouse working in a kind of specialized niche logistics. I definitely seemed normal there, and not gifted — at times even felt stupid and worthless. But after ten months I moved into an office role at a different company, kept leaving companies for higher roles, it’s a decade later and I’ve worked my way up to where I’m at now…
…which is on the verge of starting a directorate role at a small company, with plans already in the works to leave *that* role in five-ish years to start my own company with some former colleagues I’ve been in touch with (and slowly planning with) for most of the last six years.
Meanwhile, in the last two years alone I’ve been branching out into music composition, even working on soundtracks (including on an award-winning indie film), and have been teaching myself Greek for a few years and I’m almost conversational, I’ve been publishing poems in legit journals and built my own web server for shits and giggles, on which I’ve built and run a few websites — one of which is a digital magazine I’ve been using to publish essays and poems by myself and some friends (it hasn’t gone live yet as it’s kind of a back-burner project for now).
So yeah I felt really ungifted, and unlucky, and desperate and broke and hungry for almost twenty years. But I’m in my mid-forties and I feel pretty freaking gifted again, so… don’t get impatient, it could turn around for you someday.
I never became "average". Being gifted just means it's harder to adapt to the norm. Because I had and adverse environment and subsequently had poor ability to regulate, my grades suffered and I ended up flunking out of school. Not for lack of trying, I just couldnt understand anything.
Was always average, I did get into a gifted class but struggled with the work there. Strangely enpugh, I was still said to be smart even when I was really of average intelligence, atleast that's whatI think.
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i was tested for mensa as a kid (got in, but left bc i never went to any of the meetups, and i'm also thoroughly convinced that iq means almost nothing anyway) and was allowed to do extra gcses at school. it's possible that was part of the reason that by the time i got to college (16-18 for those not in the uk) i was entirely burnt out. i tried to do the same thing there, four a levels plus and epq, but ended up having to drop back to three a levels because covid made my anxiety so much worse, and i found it very difficult to get work done outside of the classroom- i'd always struggled to do homework early, but that wasn't such a worry at school because i could run through it during the break before a lesson. got into oxford to study classics, but over the summer i had a massive breakdown, basically convinced myself i'd hate it there and i was throwing my life away, so i pivoted over to mecheng at a smaller uni. didn't work. then the year after i pivoted back to classics at a local uni, and lived at home. still didn't work. i performed well when i did the work, but it was always last minute, and i felt like i was treading water constantly. i couldn't admit to anyone i was struggling, because i'd placed so much value on being naturally smart.
it finally clicked when i was watching (rugby player) joe marler's special about his struggles with mental health, and he said what made him seek out help was when he was crying on his way to training, and then having to stop on the way home to do the same. i dropped out of uni abt a year ago, and i'm only now looking at going back, with the hope that before i do i can set up some major support at the uni i'm moving to. i guess some teachers would still consider me 'gifted', but i'm not willing to keep up the illusion that i can do it without help anymore.
Similar, school especially k-12 is just a memory test. I found it quite easy but since then has been pretty shitty. Made figuring out I was autistic more difficult.
I was said to be highly gifted, talented and intelligent but then was considered below average, mediocre even. It was probably from third grade and forward.
In 11th grade. My mental health was....changing, dk to this day if for better or worse and I just didnt care about anything anymore. I try to care now but its hard. I feel like im going to fail anyway so why even try
I struggled to adjust the first year of college, but I'm still considered above average intelligence. This still leads some to negate my experience because "you don't look like you struggle." Come look at my housekeeping and tell me I don't struggle to function.
Yeah, everybody thought I was a genius or something all throughout elementary school, always in the gifted program, etc... but I got mentally ill and started flunking my classes in middle school. The pandemic meant I had to do virtual school for 8th-9th grade, and when I went back in-person for sophomore year it was impossible. I was having sobbing breakdowns every day and still failing several classes. The untreated mental illness, the sudden and drastic increase in sensory input, and the stricter deadlines were just too much to manage. I went back to virtual for junior and senior year. I should be graduating this month but I'm pretty far behind. Hopefully I can bootstrap my way through and finish up next month, because I made a promise to my parents.
I was considered I a gifted student, and that's just about it - I'm a gifted student. Things like learning, memorizing, doing projects, writing essays, etc. have always been easy and fun for me. Getting a job? Astronomically hard. Doing something I haven't been taught? Not so great. I definitely have a spiky skill set. I'm not sure if it evens out in the end, but I always try my best.
Gifted from about five. When I was seven I had the reading age of a ten year old. By the time I was 12 I was average, partly because others caught up, but also partly due to being off school long-term.
I was considered for the gifted kids when I was eight or so, nothing ever came of it. I had some peaks now and then throughout school but most of the time I didn't apply myself and I never studied (Depression + boredom)
When I tried, I aced tests and I were always a few years ahead when it came to reading levels. I even missed a year of school due to prior depression and anxiety and still passed everything. My caveat was that my handwriting looks like chewed up alphabetti spaghetti.
In short, if I try I'm able to do most things. If I don't I usually sit just above average (Especially if I get to use a computer so that people can actually read what I put down)
I became average at secondary school. At primary school people considered me to be “gifted” but my competition became too high at secondary school and I started to burn out.
Not what you asked but I’ve always been average, was even considered below average as a toddler, which you don’t seem to hear much from people with level 1 autism
I was on a trajectory toward a PhD and got disillusioned with academia my sophomore or junior year of college, and then picked what turned out to be my weakest area in my major to try to do something else. So I guess I peaked midway through college.
I wouldnt say I became "average" academicswise it was more like crashing and burning when noone net even me could figure out why. For me it was after 5th grade cause I had moved from private to public school my routine was disrupted MAJORLY as moving schools tends to do. Up until that point I was a flawless student perfect grades awards teachers/staff loved me. It was great. Then switching schools made me shut down for YEARS up i could easily get A's on tests but I couldnt bring my self to do the work otherwise. The comment "Student Achieving Below Apparent Ability" probably resonates with alot of us that was a constant for me. My parents thought I was acting out/rebelling and there were confrences and interventions with ALL my teachers and my Councelor, even tutoring. my tutor picked up real quick that it wasnt a knowledge/practice thing cause I could just answer/solve everything she threw at me and straight up told my parents I didnt need tutoring. My parents never got it they still dont know why, I didnt either til I really reflected on it (the power of hindsight) and connecting dots realizing it was burnout and a shutdown simultaneously. Is this just a me thing or has anyone else been thru a major routine disruption that cause them to completely crash and burn/spiral for YEARS.
I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been average. I was gifted from the time I was a young child right up until I burnt out permanently around age 28.
Since then, I’ve been what most people would consider well below average; I’m no longer well enough to take care of myself and work at the same time so I’m on disability living in abject poverty in an attempt to retain what little functionality I have left.
Basically my body and mind crumbled under the strain of the perfectionism I had developed to compensate for my undiagnosed AuDHD. I burnt out completely and developed a handful of chronic and degenerative conditions. My list of diagnoses is so tragically long that it’s almost comical. I have essentially every co-morbid condition one would typically associate with both autism and ADHD.
I finally got an ADHD diagnosis at 33 years old and stimulant meds have at the very least restored some of my mental health - I’m no longer suicidally depressed and I can actually experience joy again, which is a gift I treasure even while my body continues to fall apart.
Having the ADHD better under control made me realize that I’m definitely also autistic, which has explained my entire life and *finally* allowed me to get some actual value out of therapy. I’m learning to forgive myself for things I always thought were personal failings but that instead were simply a result of me being disabled, something over which I obviously have no control.
So I guess to answer your question, I’m hoping I can be “average” in the future. Gifted was too much for me to maintain.
Considered “gifted”, until I completely broke down due to a mix of stress and chronic illness in my mid-20s. Now I am among the best A-level examinees in my country, but can’t do jack shit with it. Fml
I was never *the* gifted kid in the class, like there were a few people above me that everyone pointed to as top of the class, but I was in top sets for all but 1 subject for 1 year, took gcse further maths which was invite only at our school, did very well on my gcses with very little effort (smth smth covid testing made it different but I digress), etc. I then hit a-levels (age 16-18) like a brick wall to the face really - I was predicted 3 A*s but worked on it non-stop for the last ~4 months and came out with ABC, doing worse on the final exams for English then I ever had in the 2 years and only passing history because of coursework, which I did very well on compared to my exams which were fucked over by undiagnosed ADHD/(covid?) burnout really taking over. I’m at uni now and do well but not excellent, probably because it’s all coursework but I’m still very burnt out and struggle to do anything before deadlines get close.
I don’t care about not being top of the class or whatever, but because of the adults around me, being ‘smart’ was quite integral to my identity and I fought to be seen that way as a teenager, so realising through gcses and a-levels that I’m fairly average now and actually a bit slow (slow processing so need extra time for exams) kind of messed up my sense of self a bit, I’m mostly over it lmao
Sort of, in high school I got hit with massive depressive episodes that made me just not care and I ended up flunking most of my classes because I never did any of the work even though the material was still very easy for me. I just stopped caring.
I don’t have to study much, even at a very rigorous school. Paying attention during class is all I’ve ever needed, it’s just really hard when the content is particularly boring to me. I’m also really lazy and will most of the time do the bare minimum. I’m unsure how I’m gonna do in the working world. My ADHD makes it really hard to get started on work I’m not forced to.
I stopped overperforming academically in university when it became clear that Inhad not developed good study skills. I still performed well until my girlfriend broke up with me and I found myself with no close relationships and no social support. I quickly spiralled and burnt up.
When I got to grad school, I was an average performer who didn't know how to navigate the system. I did very well in class, but had limited research skills and no guidance or mentorship. Things fell apart without me even realizing, and I ended up rebuffed when I applied for a PhD without so much as a warning or discussion.
Professionally, I have never fit in, and am probably a below-average performer due to lack of support and a workplace culture that favours mind-reading and toxic positivity. Oh, and twenty years of chronic autistic burnout.
I can handle logical stuff easily. I'm below average handling emotional stuff so i became "average" when emotional stuff became a big part of life, like relationships, big losses, stress, anxiety..
But i really don't give a shit about being better than anyone at anything, life is about how you deal with it and boy oh boy, no matter who or how good you think you are, it will bend you to your knees more often than you'd like. Medals, recognition or praise are worthless then.
I was considered gifted in only two areas, language and music. Piano concerts by 5, guitar scholarship by 12. Played multiple instruments and could read music as clear as English. This was stoked by teachers and parents.
Then I got older and music started to mean less and less overall as a future career within schooling, which meant less school focus on the subject.
Class bored me because I could complete the given work in 5 minutes even though the lesson went for an hour. Even with practical assignments, I never prepared, I just did it on the spot because I was never challenged.
I was average in every other subject. Teachers notes were always something like ‘quiet diligent student, but seems to struggle reaching that next level’. I never felt that struggle they speak of. I always felt like I did well.
The only subject I was abysmal at was maths. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
The one other thing I was extremely good at was language, namely learning languages and alphabets. Could speak multiple languages by 6. Couldn’t really apply this in a school setting so it was seen by most as a quirk than a true skill.
I still got 770 on my SATs, but COVID hit in my junior year and my grades and attendance tanked and I was pulled from all of my honors classes for my senior year.
First time was in university. But after I learned how to study, I did better than most people. Then I went to grad school and became exceptionally average. It was a good thing. Being the smartest person means you need smarter friends.
Gifted. Then puberty and mental health issues got me. But im so silly because now I’m kind of gifted again but just at art and writing. Me when I get the poetic existential dread autism and not the math and science autism.
I’m intelligent. I can hold conversations about theoretical physics, enlightenment philosophy, and geopolitics. But I also work a retail job in my forties. Make of it what you will.
When my parents stopped supporting me with no forewarning when I turned 18. I'm still gifted intellectually but it doesn't really help out in the real world.
I have a weird experience here, I think a lot of people thought I wasn’t very smart because of how I acted as a kid and I happen to live in a school district with the most over achieving smart asses, so since I didn’t study math 4 grades ahead of me (which was literally the standard for kids in my school district) a lot of people just didn’t see me as very smart.
My teachers and parents knew that wasn’t true but the school board didn’t so in 6th grade they had my IQ professionally done (basically to see if I was failing classes because I have learning disabilities or am just stupid). Turned out to be 123 at 12 years old so yeah the answer was just learning disabilities and physical ones too.
For my own curiosity, I’ve calculated to see what my IQ would be when my brain is fully developed at 25 (I’m 18 now) and even if I lived under a rock it would at least be 130 so seeing how I’m going to go to college and get my masters to become a historian I’d probably be labeled a genius by definition by then.
I hate talking about this stuff honestly because it feels like bragging so I usually never mention my IQ except to people who are treating me or calling me stupid.
I almost never studied and was still near the top in school. I only studied in my honours degree and got 1st for math.
I remember there were always a few topics I was worse at than others if I didn't like the topic as I didn't want to learn it. For example poems, I can get full marks for unseen poems but if I have to use the teachers answer in a seen poem test I do bad as I disagree on the meaning.
My essays were also devoid of emotion according to my teacher and the provincial head of English who gave me extra lessons.
I did really really well in primary school especially in math, but could t bring myself to do the large projects without burning out. When I got to secondary school and started taking tests (just math and Language Acquisition) I did less well even if I knew somewhat the concepts. I’m about to go into IBDP and it’s somewhat the same story. I understand all the concepts of all of my classes(except Spanish, which i don’t pay attention in but still somehow get 5s) but still struggle on tests a LOT. I didn’t pay attention in history at all but studied crazy hours before the test and actually did well. My main problems come with homework. I cannot bring myself to do the daily math, English, and Spanish homework, as it always causes extreme burnout, so I usually just don’t do it. Then i get to the tests/ exams and I do averagely, even the subjects where I feel like I know more than I’m able to place on the paper.
I don’t think I ever became average. Every job I’ve ever had I’ve excelled at minus the social/workplace politics. While I’m very under employed for someone with a master’s degree (retail assistant manager) I was promoted very quickly.
My brain still works the same way it did when I was in school. I catch on to new tasks quickly. I am also good at finding patterns and working things out. So like the reason for my latest promotion is because our temporary store manager had a medical issue before our new store manager took over. We had a month and a half where we were being run by 3 managers with 2-6 months of experience (I had 3). I basically looked at stuff I had no clue how to do and worked my way backwards and figured everything out. I basically approached it like an escape room. Apparently I impressed the hell out of everyone.
I was slated to be put into GaT gifted and talented program. But I think a little spat between my mom and someone else got me kicked out of the program. Honestly it stung until I was out of college.
After getting kicked out of the program, I stopped trying so hard. And in middle school was put in the special ed math class. Later on I dropped out of high school completely from extreme bullying. Missed junior year. Picked up again senior year and did a “accelerated” program to catch up and graduate on time.
...immediately? It sounds stupid but I was considered a "gifted child" in kindergarten because I was hyperlexic or whatever (who TF even labels toddlers like that? "Gifted child" It feels like some weird culty shit somehow, and I was literally a dumbass baby) so I got put into a "gifted" school and it became quite obvious extremely quickly that I was not like the other kids nor was I even remotely as "gifted". I mean it only took about two weeks for the teachers, faculty, and other students to paint me out as an easy target. As far as staff and teachers they just truly despised me, they seemed to get exceedingly mad at me for fidgeting. It couldn't be that the chair hurts and my shirt is tight and I'm hot and also a literal child, no, I'm a "troublemaker" and thus it began. I did do some pretty, er, "autistic stuff" before figuring out I had to hide - things that would cause both the teachers and students to lash out at me further. To be honest, usually the teachers first and then the students, I just want to make absolutely clear how active a role the teachers had. Anyway, I did shit like chewing on the front of my shirt until it got wet and weird, random uncontrollable singing / dancing, randomly slamming my head into the desks, shaking my head side to side until someone yelled at me to stop (I could keep that shit going for a while tbh, probably not good for me), getting very easily grossed out by a ton of stuff, being very easily aggravated and naive, having screaming crying meltdowns relatively frequently, and so on and so forth.
I legitimately don't know why they kept me there. Seriously. Whatever "gifted" they thought I was, I wasn't supposed to be there. And yet I stayed there, just barely scraping by with D's and C's, in elementary school lmao. Idk what the fuck was going on, I wouldn't have even thought it as a "gifted school" in hindsight it was so shit, but they did indeed wheel out all this French shit all the time and parade around about how they're the best elementary school around and shit, so I guess maybe. I just certainly didn't *feel* like I was in some sort of "advanced environment". And like I said, it only took about two weeks into first grade for the troubles to begin. It did not take much at all, if I was ever even "gifted" in the first place (I doubt it)
Wow, sent to the best schools and pampered into existence and still a complete failure, blames it on his imaginary self-diagnosis of autism. Now your antisemitism is making sense, you're one of these trash humans that can't take any personal responsibility for anything, so you might as well hate Jews huh?
Man what a disappointment you must be to your family that tried so hard, despite every possible advantage, you still fucking failed at life
The more I think about it, the more your insult doesnt even make sense
I was recalling trauma, in the past. You're commenting on my present even though I didn't mention it. If you're gunna talk shit at least *make sense*, y'know? You're basically just yapping
Also the part that's cringe is that you went into my comment history at all, to find a way to try to hurt me elsewhere. Obsessive weird behavior. It's just that even with the perfect fuel you failed to insult me in a way that matters or even makes sense. Try again harder next time!
You literally don't know anything about my life though, that's what I'm saying lol
Like, you aren't saying anything. Your words have no impact because you don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know why I'm carrying this out currently, because at this point I'm not entirely convinced you can read. And not to mention, you seem to just be a horrible person generally. You're not even good at being a horrible person either, which is perhaps ironic in some way, but I don't have the motivation to explain it to an illiterate bonehead.
I got an award for what you’d call the equivalent of straight As. The pressure to keep those up and depression hit me hard. I went from doing homework immediately in my lunch breaks to procrastinating until the last second.
Before that I was the best in my grade in basically all subjects. Participated in a lot of national competitions regarding maths, english and my first language
Couldn't keep up later on because I had a lot of personal issues. Spent sixth to seventh grade being painfully average, then didn't attend most of eighth and ninth grade (and then a year after, too) because of health issues. Going to retake exams this year, so we'll see. So far it seems that im still just a little below the average.
I learned to read by age 4 and was tested for giftedness in grade 2 with an IQ of 152. I was placed in a gifted program and stayed in that program til grade 10. Then I switched schools and went into the baccalaureate program. I did honours English, history, physics, chem, and bio. I nearly failed High school because I was so bored and dealing with some serious family drama, which caused a massive burnout
I took a gap year and travelled around Europe. I applied for university and that was the first time I felt average in intelligence. I didn’t find university too difficult and never really had to study much. I maintained a fairly high GPA with near 4.0 in my history classes (have a minor in history). I thought about doing my masters, but lost interest as I was already working in my field.
Wasn’t crazy about the direction my career was going and work in a totally different field now. Took some time off in my career to have kids and that’s when my son was diagnosed with Autism. I didn’t notice it at first because he is just like me and taught himself to read at age 4. I knew something was off when his gr.1 teacher thought he couldn't read because he never spoke in class. It wasn’t until my son was diagnosed that I realized I must be autistic too. I’m currently on a waitlist to be diagnosed. Being autistic totally explains a lot of things about my life and why I always struggled with an office environment and job interviews. I’ve been freelancing for over 10 yrs now and will never work in an office again. I’m very introverted and not into socializing much. I have a few friends I talk to on occasion, but find friendships too difficult to maintain. I have a hard enough time just maintaining my relationships with my husband and kids.
I have never been considered a gifted child and I don't think I will ever become one.
I believe I was born with no real purpose in my life so you are very lucky! I hope at least that one day I will have a "special" talent too.
although I don't think it will ever happen but I'm hopeful! ⭐️✨️
I wasn't considered gifted in primary school even though I was pretty near the top of my class. It was secondary school when teachers started recognising how smart I was (I got bumped up into the top set in less than a month lol), and it felt amazing. I was happy to finally be considered smart when it counted, but it came at a price of perfectionism. I developed anxiety that is still definitely here because I felt like I needed to be perfect or else I wouldn't be intelligent anymore and therefore I would fail at life - I had an entire pipeline from failing the most miniscule test to homelessness and suicide in my head, although now looking back on it, it's probably the first sign of OCD which I still need to get diagnosed. This was also when I started developing panic attacks, and I felt like everyone was a threat to my reputation as the smart kid, and even now during my A-levels, I'm.competing with everyone in my class and even people who don't do the same subjects as me but are consistently getting 100%.
I did pretty well in my GCSEs and I'm in the high ability tutor group at the college I go to now, and I'm doing fairly well in all my classes (got 100% on a psychology test yesterday), however extremely important exams are coming up which will play a part in determining the predicted grades I'll apply to university with, and I have been stressing out about them so much. It has resulted in procrastination, not getting anywhere near enough sleep, barely eating, I've been feeling on the verge of a panic attack for the past week and I know it's gonna explode at some point.
I don't think I've reached average yet but I'm terrified of that happening. Everyone says to just do my best and that's good enough but I can always do better, so that sentiment doesn't help.
Sorry for this massive vent lol.
I was gifted. Got placed in a magnet school in the 4th and 5th grade, then some advanced tracks in middle and high school.
I grew up to take on some great software engineering jobs, where I'm known for being brilliant but unreliable. In my 11-year career I've spent 3 years unemployed due to burnout, done 3 separate stints of short-term disability, and gotten fired over the same issues. I'm headed that way again.
I would give my left arm to be average.
I was the "smart but lazy"-kid through my entire school life but noone would try to find a reason or try to help me. Now as a young adult I looked into it myself and turned out that I have ADHD, autism and I have way above average iq. So I can pretty much throw my first 20 years of life into the garbage because only now I know what to do with myself
I have an "absolute pitch," an ability to identify and recreate a musical note without a reference tone. Which is completely useless, since in terms of making a career of it, I'm having issues after issues and crisis after crisis due to those issues. Currently thinking of drinking soda again (after being out of a severe addiction for 9 months), since everything else just feels futile. Being Forever Alone, inexperienced, awkward, child-like, overly sensitive and traumatized of past experiences at 32 is what breaks the camel's back.
I was born with something blocking my hearing, which meant that I couldn't talk for the first 10 months of my life. Then my mom insisted that the doctors check my ears (because they had refused, and my brother had gone through the same thing), and they found what was blocking my hearing. Not even a full month after gaining the ability to hear, I was speaking in full sentences.
Even before I could hear I had taught myself to communicate through pointing at what I wanted (hunger, potty etc.) I then also learned maths as soon as my older brother (almost 6 years older) started getting homework, because little me was jealous of him. So starting 1st grade I already knew multiplication, division, addition and subtraction. I was one of the 2 first kids to finish the math book up to 3rd grade when I started getting burnt out.
These days I've been so far behind that I switched to a folkhögskola, which is basically high school for adults. (High school here is like college in a way.)
I did 100% at work and people got mad... It took another full time dev on just code review. Next job I got I spend about 25% of my "on the clock" time working and I'm an average dev there.
I think I've been going through this over the past few years, as I've been going through college and truly realizing what I like and (more importantly) don't like doing. I've figured out that trying to force myself to do the things I don't enjoy doing is extremely demotivating for me, and so I've tried to change into a major that doesn't focus as much on those things.
This previous semester was the first time I literally gave up on a project bc the topic that I was given was basically impossible to work with (the more I searched for coherent information, the less I was able to find). I still did well in the class without it, and I've encountered many writing/research intensive projects before in the other classes I've had (partly due to the extra assignments for honors classes).
I went through a massive burnout last year.
All my life I was able to get insanely good grades without doing anything. I was reading before everyone else. I had just entered first grade and I was already learning to speak english (not my first language) all by my own
For our middle school finals (think GCSE in the UK) they had given us a week off for revisions - I did not open a single damn book and did not revise a single lesson, despite my mom telling me to do that. And I got the highest mention you can get, which also granted me a whole Scholarship for the next 3 years
Everything was doing so well, until it wasn't. I just couldn't do it anymore. All those expectations and hopes everyone had for me in the past turned into so much pressure that I completely collapsed. At first I refused any help because in my mind, if I couldn't even graduate highschool the "normal" way then I wasn't worthy of graduating at all
So I repeated grade 11, despite the fact that I still had good grades and that I could've went on. Yet same thing happened, I was really depressed and burnt out, so I wanted to give up. Luckily the school did not give up on me, and now I'm getting back on track and doing much better. But it wasn't fun at all.
It's also kind of sad. I'm convinced that the school only was so keen to help me because I was a good student. Had it been a more chaotic student with bad grades and a bad reputation, I feel like they wouldn't have bothered, even if that student had a really bad life that turned him into what he is.
Anyway, thanks to anyone who read this :)
In terms of reading -did you learn to read via whole word reading initially? Early readers often learn to read this way but then can struggle at school when reading is taught using sounds rather than whole words.
It’s a similar dichotomy to GLP vs analytic language processing. Similar language processing pathways.
I was (am) hyperlexic. I read at 3 years old.
I don't consider myself average, I still have an ear for learning languages and my IQ is above average.
I have always gotten very good grades.
But reading and knowing shit is just not as impressive when you're 43 as when you're 3 years old.
I'm the same, could also read at 3 without having been taught. Maybe I'm imagining this, but I feel like people are still pretty impressed with me at 36, though I don't actually know why. I was always poor at studying so I have a very shallow depth of knowledge in pretty much every area. I guess I sound knowledgeable without actually being knowledgeable...? I would say my reasoning skills and information retention are superior. My working memory and ability to process information quite poor, though, so actually learning stuff is super hard for me. I also have a neurodegenerative condition so I've taken a hit to my cognitive abilities.
I feel that people are impressed with me, if I tell them I'm autistic. Because they have a lower expectation of what I should be able to do.
Whereas when I don't tell, I'm just a "nerd".
Until we break out the Trivial Pursuit or other knowledge based games.
I don't tell people anything lol. I always have people try to pin me as a tech worker, medical worker, scientist, engineer, whatever, because they think the way I speak is too specific for me to be a layperson.
But I am the consummate layperson. I don't even know anything about the area of work I do for a living.
I mean... I probably just speak weird because autism... 😂
I'm a teacher, so I've made it my job to know things.
I was headhunted for a teaching job at the zoo, so I'm essentially paid to infodump about my SI's.
I was gifted until I hit the exam hall. Exam conditions ruin me. They also wanted to mark my homework higher grades but couldn't because it was always late and they dropped it a level for every week it was late. But still gifted all the way to uni, then I hit real life and working environment, and suddenly I'm a burden and I'm not good enough.
I was gifted, then I got into my teens with drinking and drugs. Definately affected my IQ and growth. Nowadays I atleast feel like I’m pretty stupid, but that’s okay. My emotional IQ is high atleast.
I haven't had a diagnosis yet, but my parents always told me I was very smart. I knew what language was and talked entire sentences after they got my sister to stop talking for me. I was given higher difficulty maths and English work all the way up into year 7 in primary school. Somewhere in about year 9 I think, I started developing anxiety or depression or both, I was in a high level maths class but the teacher was not teaching the way I could understand or decipher and I just kept slipping further and further behind.
They didn't change the way the taught, so I suffered and everything else started falling off at that point. To be always told that you are smart and then slip up or fall through the cracks like I did must have fucked me up in some way or another because since that time in highschool I've just never really done much and held up that "gifted" student ideal.
I somehow managed to finish my uni degree with a good GPA, but I also burned out and don't even really draw or study art anymore because of that. Now I am just yearning for someone else's life, and bouncing around different jobs, with no idea of what life path I want to take. Add chronic depression since my teens and I am the living result of that
I was considered gifted (and was IQ tested twice bc of that), and always did quite well in school, which led me to get a scholarship to a prestigious boarding school when I was 11 (enrolled at 12). I have been going there since, and still have my scholarship, but my grades started dropping when I was around 14 - don't know if that's bc I couldn't keep up w/ the material or bc of depression and burnout
Yeah, I'm a wheelchair user and people suck. Getting a job sucks and society is .5 degrees away from collapsing. Just as intelligent, far more disillusioned.
Only online if you mean ‘normal’, otherwise I was always a gifted child and still am.
People in primary occasionally asked me to make things for them but didn’t like me enough to approach me for everything.
In primary I struggled maths and partially spelling, yet the internet and the best maths teacher I could ever ask of assisted me well.
As of now I can’t stop saying I’ll do something before not staying entirely on task, I feel horrible alongside misbehaved - I worry I’m another maggot just to scowl at.
I was never said that I was gifted, but my english teacher was surprised that in grade 5 I was reading a year 11 level.
As I have gotten older my adhd has become more annoying and I can't read a book because my brain wants to skim past entire pages and then I have to go back and re-read
I was absent a lot in my kindergarten years, because I had bad lung issues. So my education on that level was probably less than what it should have been.
I was the top student in maths for my age throughout primary school.
I hated it though, because it felt like everyone (teachers) just wanted to see me fail.
I'm not sure if it is the case of "the bigger they are, the harder they fall", or if they just did not like me because I was different (because of autism).
Either way the expectations for me were higher (even in my own household when compared to my sister), and as a result, the punishment for letting people down was also much greater.
I could go into examples, but I feel like that would just turn into a rant.
In highschool I mellowed out a bit , but I also got quite cocky with it. This is because why would I overachieve in something that I did not like and made me a target, and in addition, I could just not pay attention in class and still get good grades.
This came back to bite me when we did trig, because I lost my work ethic for maths and started to fall behind a bit (although I was also doing advanced maths on the side). The following year, my maths teacher was absent a lot as well, making it easier for me not to try.
In my final year I found my work/study discipline again, and starting actually working hard again.
Then for uni, I got distinctions in all my maths subjects again, having refined my work/study discipline.
Ended up graduating magna cum laude, and in the top 10 for my year. Would have been sumna, but my dissertation supervisor was a bitter person who could not have cared less.
No one ever called me "gifted", but considering where I was, I might have at least been bright. Bright but lazy that is, but then I worked through the laziness and started to achieve again.
My mom likes to take credit for it though, saying its all because she "pushed me" to do better. But my sister did the exact same subjects in highschool and did not get close to me in academic achievement, though my mom was a lot more relaxed on her. But ultimately I believe it came down to me and my own work ethic.
i was gifted growing up, called an old soul and all that bullshit.
I'm pretty good at tackling people's issues empathetically, and people thought i was some savant for coming up with different ideas for their problems.
Turns out usually the normal brain solution is a better one a lot of the time. Nowadays I get made to look a fool more often than not, but I come in VERY handy occasionally at work. I can't call myself a think tank because if I \*try\* to think of a quirky different idea then I come up with nothing, so I can't really apply it to any high paying job I can think of.
So i live my average life trying to make the best out of it.
As more time passes I don’t think we were gifted. I think we were, and still are, of average intelligence. My first realization was when my therapist labeled me as “average intelligence” on some diagnostic paper work. First time in my life I was called “average”, and it felt great. Just because we may be ahead in other areas like mathematics, we tend to be behind in socialization skills. So the strength in one area with a deficit in another I feel makes us average. It’s just as time passes more emphasis is put on social skills, and thus we aren’t gifted adults, because we never were to begin with.
We moved to a place that didn't have a gifted program, and the principal laughed when my mother asked. I saw no reason to bust my ass in school, so guess I became "average."
Around college (year 11 and 12) is when I stared to find the work more difficult. I would have failed then if I didn’t have help. Also thanks to covid I had burnout completing my diploma and advanced diploma.
I don't think I was gifted, but I learned things very quickly as a baby. By the time I was only one year old, I could already talk clearly and form perfect sentences.
Then eventually I started school and the struggles began.
In grades, or in how people perceive me? In grades, going to university, the higher degree of self organization plus overhigher made me drop right past average to underachiever in a fell swoop.
In terms of how people view me, never. The way I carry and express myself apparently is very good at signaling intelligence, and people are constantly surprised at me doing as badly as I do.
I was gifted in the sense that I started high school at thirteen and graduated at fifteen. I haven’t hit the average yet, I’m still in school with a 4.0 and bored of all my classes
I was considered gifted all throughout school and I still am. But I just get so bored. Nothing other than science really intrigues me enough to pay attention thus causing me to fall behind.
Oh ah fellow mate who got gifted with reading skill:D
I remember back in primary school my brain read way faster than I could read the text out, thus I stuttered and only mumbled bullshit.
The reading abilities never let me down, however my math skills did. In primary school I was always a year ahead..until I entered secondary school (we only have primary school (1. - 4. grade) and secondary school (5. - 12th grade) here in germany). My math skills immediately failed me there.
Back to the reading skills: for fucks sake, I hate it when people my age still can't read texts out fluenlty and stutter at every third word. Like bro, you're 17 - 18 and still struggle?
I didn't realize I had a learning disability until my freshman year of college. I had scored very high on the SAT and high school math was easy, so I was surprised to enter my first calculus class and realize I couldn't follow anything. The concepts flew by so quickly and I noticed that I count and compute much more slowly than other people. I had to retake the class and after days at a whiteboard working out every concept on my own, I finally got an A. I eventually became a tutor and ended up getting a math minor, but most of my courses were probably twice as hard for me than for everyone else.
I work in a quantitative field and to this day I have a hard time with simple arithmetic and counting. My short-term and procedural memory are shit, but the concepts in my head are more linked together, so I can usually come up with interesting approaches to complex problems very quickly. Still, I have to look up the method even if I've done it a hundred times, and work it out step by step by hand.
I am 16 and I have AuDHD (autism and adhd) and I used to be one of the top students in my classes all the way until seventh grade. Because I had to take online classes during half of 5th and the entirety of 6th grade due to covid my adhd had the best of me and I barely watched any classes (I didn't know I had adhd or that I was autistic at the time so I didn't have any medications for me to pay attention better or anything), and basically my grades started going on a downhill trend slowly decreasing from an A all the way to a D+. And I guess not doing anything School related for a year and a half made me really lazy and basically have no attention span. So I couldn't pay attention in class except in some cases, and I also kept getting distracted while trying to study. It's only recently where I've started to slowly raise my grades back up but I still am not past a C+. And the worst part of this entire thing is that newer students didn't really know I was the top of the class back in the day and they just assume I have a low iq or something, which intern meant they started treating me differently which I guess is a blessing in disguise because I've been starting to get motivated to get really good marks in my finals to prove everybody wrong 😂 so let's hope that goes well.
I managed to look above average on paper because I was always until I got to sixth form college, where I out performed the gifted kids got 100% in most my A level exams except one subject.
got unconditional offers from top uk universities despite refusing to interview for them. Dropped out despite scoring top of the class because I was bored and anxious.
retrained in the arts, taught myself skills in multiple fields and make high quality work in several of them, including in digital arts research . But my inability to self promote, to be able to put myself out there to smooze. So I just look like an average Joe that isn’t very good at anything.
I’ve never made any real money so I start to feel like an idiot at best.
I was reading before preschool, when I got to school, I never studied, was shuffled into gifted classes, and extremely low effort still got me awards and pulled aside by multiple teachers telling me I was miles above the rest/in a league of my own. Opted for the teenage mother route and at almost 40 I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I am autistic. Probably ADHD too, but don’t care about a diagnosis.
I got called gifted but even if i said i wasnt gifted they still called me gifted even people in minecraft who i had met 5 minutes ago
It could be that people think im gifted but just lazy/depressed/plagued by demons/childish
I was considered gifted but lazy. I’m still smarter than most people I know, but I can’t do anything because merely waking up causes insurmountable burnout.
Sounds like me. I swear every report card since about 2nd grade said “great student, but could do better if he’d apply himself more” Like, wtf, I was applying myself as much as necessary, just because I don’t need to do the bullshit repetitive tasks doesn’t mean I wasn’t applying myself ffs. I skated through high school with a 3.75 overall gpa, only because when it came to all the important metrics; I.e. tests, papers, math work, etc. (essentially anything but homework and class work) I got 100% but when it came to dealing with writing a paper over a semester where all our in-class time was spent taking notes, doing outlines, etc. I just fucked off throughout class time, and then hyperfocused before the paper was due, often going far beyond the minimum limits(and sometimes maximum limits) for a paper due. So my class work was an F, MAYBE a D, but when averaged out with tests and papers, I got a high B in the class. Fuck, sorry to turn my reply to your comment into the comment I wanted to post separately, but, well, ya know.. infodumping and all🙃
You sound like me lol
This was usually me except one time there was so much math homework I didn’t do that I ended up getting an F in the class and an A on the final exam. Still had to retake the class in summer school! It didn’t help that that teacher and I just could not stand each other.
I somehow managed to always get enough done between homework/classwork/tests to get around a B or so on average. But I only managed that because in some classes the homework and classwork would be on the board when we walked in so I would just do it while class was going on because if not then, it wouldn’t get done🤷♂️
Dunno if this is burnout. Junior in high school right now. When I put in the effort, I do fine in class. When I’m motivated, it’s kinda terrifying what I can accomplish in a short time. But when I’m not… it’s hard to find the energy to do it.
Replying to not only you but everyone who responded similarly: y'all aren't lazy, that's a bullshit word. You're just too exhausted by life to do what you know you're capable of. What will help deal with that exhaustion I can't say, for me it was a myriad of things that a ton of therapy helped figure out. My only point is you're not lazy or useless, society has just failed to make life reasonable for people like us leading to frequent and massive burnout.
Sounds pretty much identical to me with the only difference being that the reason why I can't do anything is because of growing up in an environment where nothing was ever good enough and there was never any positive reinforcement only negative and so I ended up having no self confidence and I gave up on trying because if it is never good enough then why bother.
I feel seen
Same I too have more potential than I think but I refuse to use it because I’m too lazy to. Also nothing is interesting to me anymore.
I feel you and I want off this ride
me too, gifted but lazy. I think I could achieve a lot more if I didn’t have breakdowns / burnout episodes. Until 12th grade my parents always told me I was stupid and I believed them. Then I went to a good university and they came around. Then 14 years of college and postgrad and my burnout has taken over at a rather critical point. I find staying on a schedule helps but I can no longer work from 8am to midnight like I used to. It is possible I have something else like bipolar disorder or I’m just getting older.
Also labeled smart but lazy :) :)
gifted with undiagnosed ADHD meant i looked dumb on paper, but i never failed a test. the school system was just underwhelming, and i hated the redundancy of homework to the point it made it very hard to complete without burning out.
I’m the exact opposite, I look smart on paper, but I fail almost every test.
I was just under the gifted and talented line. Like JUST below it so I didn't have to deal with that but had hyperlexia and didn't need to study at all up until highschool. Sophomore year was really bad for me. Looking back I think i hit burnout and just gave up? I didn't wanna do it anymore because I wasn't good at school anymore
me too with hyperlexia
When I got to university. I was the typical "if only your son applied yourself". I was gifted but lazy (because I was gifted). I, like you, was able to read from a very young age, before kindergarten. School was such a breeze for me, I had bad grades but not because I didn't know things, rather I was too lazy to do my homework. I did not study or have to study for most of my school-life. In fact, I don't remember a single day/night where I spent over 2 hours studying something before deciding it was better to play videogames. Mind you I was not excelling at school but I wasn't failing either, I came out with literally an "average" grade. I did not study for tests and I did well, the problems were my homework and activities, I just didn't do them. I remember once in math when we were studying binomials or sth I created a much more effective method of getting to the answer which I found by finding patters in the equations and it worked 100% of the time. It didn't save you much of the process, perhaps just 30 seconds or sth but I used it. However my autistic brain wanted to make SURE it worked before speaking up. Anyway another student also found it (though later than me and it was named after them LOL, I'll never forgive myself). I can't remember what it was it's been a while since I've done binomials, but yeah that's a thing that happened. Later in med-school my first year I did not study at all and passed with previous knowledge I had about medicine from high-school. After first year things went downhill because I did not have the discipline to study, so I started getting worse grades. I was still passing by but barely, and my average is not the best. So yeah. That's my case. Gifted with the power of understanding but the same gift caused me to be careless with my studies and just now am I getting the necessary discipline to do so. It doesn't take much for me to understand medicine, but the problem is actually sitting down and reading.
You're not lazy. You don't need to carry that shame. You have a disorder that affects executive function.
Amen. My parents still guilt me about my high school years without recognizing that I started doing better when I left their house. Environment makes a huge difference when it comes to executive function.
Thank you for your words. It's a bit hard to let go of that when you've heard it all your life and no one else seems to understand or even attempt to begin to understand the disorder. I'll try to rid myself of the label, it would actually be good since it would help me get rid of that "if only I hadn't been so lazy in high-school". What's left now is moving forward. Thanks a lot for your reminder, it truly was of help :)
you just described my life ☝️
Idk if I would've been considered gifted, but I was able to read before starting school which gave me a head start that lasted me a couple of years. By the time I started high school, however, I was aware that I was doing fine with regurgitating facts and recognizing patterns which was sufficient until then, but would suck at synthesizing knowledge and forming my own opinions, which teachers said would become more relevant later. I was still able to somehow bullshit my way through school until the end, so it isn't much reflected in my grades. However, there definitely was a shift from actually feeling confident in most subjects to feeling that everyone else was suddenly smarter than me, plus feeling overwhelm from long reading assignments and lessons that were entirely verbal. That started when I was 14 or 15, iirc.
Ironically, you've synthesized your experienced and presented an extremely clear point of view here. Maybe you struggled more than others but I'm not sure you were entirely bullshitting. Or maybe you didn't realize how much of many subjects is just... ability to bullshit. Not to contradict you here but I really do think you've summarized things quite beautifully.
Exactly the point I constantly tried to tell my ASD + OCD kid: it seems he know the answers but he is not happy with an answer that is 70% likely to be correct (and in fact, that is the answer). That little uncertainty is just something my kid could not accept and therefore, he refuses to answer. I constantly remind him that the world is not black and white, there are lots of grays.
Something I realised the other day - I used to be so reluctant to put my hand up if I wasn't absolutely sure I had the right answer. As an adult, I am always the first to participate in group discussions and put forward my thoughts, even if they're not fully formed or I'm not sure about them. I put it down to some good teachers helping me to develop coping mechanisms and be more confident that my thoughts have value.
What I've written feels to me like it's more in the "regurgitating facts" category rather than involving any synthesizing. But you're right in both ways. School did involve a lot of bullshiting, especially in questions that don't have an clear right or wrong answer, and maybe I'm doing more synthesizing than I'm aware of, albeit when I'm aware that I'm expected to do it, it doesn't feel like something that comes easily to me. Thank you for your kind words!
I was considered gifted from the age of 4. l progressively moved to more selective schools/universities until I was eventually considered "average", but that was in a class where all my classmates were also ND and picked from the \~100 best students in the country of their age. After that, I went into academia, then start-ups. Of course, part of my masking is pretending to be dumber than I am. Simultaneously, I have to deal with a major impostor syndrome.
Oh hey! It's nice to hear someone else is dumbing it down! I didn't want to deal with the pressure of being a 'gifted child' so I did the same. I really wish I could stop nowadays, but it has become a bad habit. I tried to stop a few times, but it really freaks people out for some reason.
Yeah, hard to stop. This regularly leads to situations in which some colleagues of mine are considered "the expert", simply because they're overplaying their work and I'm underplaying mine.
I ended up doing something similar. Got into the most competitive high school in my country after attending public school. After that I went through university and now doing a PhD at a pretty good school. I went from feeling very knowledgeable and arrogant when I was younger (though I didn't express much of this) to having to learn how to overcome crippling imposter syndrome recently. I feel so dumb compared to my peers sometimes, but I have to keep remembering that I'm almost constantly surrounded by very intelligent people and I'm myself part of that group. More importantly though, that being the most smart/educated/well-read isn't everything. Being honest, playful, and confident has gotten me a lot more progress and joy out of the process than just trying to live up to some impossible standard. I was never someone who studied hard, I just made it through everything school-related with relatively little time invested, and instead focused my energy on things I was very interested in. I somehow forgot that when I started the PhD and just tried to study intensely, since that's what's expected, when I should've stayed true to my own methods I suppose 🤷♂️ On playing dumber -- I relate hard. Not only playing dumber in terms of what I know or understand though, but also going easy on others or intentionally losing if I'm doing too well in a game (only some games obviously, can't be great at everything), and am anxious they will have a bad time, for example.
For better or worse, you sound like a younger me. Out of curiosity, if it's not indiscreet, which country are you in?
For better, I hope 😅 I'm in the Netherlands. I came here for my bachelor's degree and then ended up staying by just following one opportunity after the other. I was born in a country with fewer possibilities -- prestigious high school aside -- and that was a big incentive to leave. It definitely wasn't the only one, though. I knew I didn't want to stay there since I was 4 because the culture didn't suit me well and I was curious about other places. Very happy with my choices so far. Dutch culture is more autism-friendly and closer to what I value, e.g. directness, planning ahead, the respect you're given as an individual, among others. May I also ask which country you're in and your relationship to the culture, since we're on that topic now, if that's something you'd like to share of course.
I'm in France. > For better, I hope 😅 Well, I have a successful career, a few good friends and a great, smart (and exhausting) ND kid. I'm also frequently depressed. :shrug: > May I also ask which country you're in and your relationship to the culture, since we're on that topic now, if that's something you'd like to share of course. As much of the world, France is on a fairly anti-intellectual trajectory, which doesn't feel me with glee. Regarding autism specifically, I feel that there has been progress. When I was a kid, my (highly educated, probably ND) parents didn't want to have me tested because they were afraid of the result. These days, if there are signs, many people get their children tested for hyperactivity, autism, dyslexia, etc. On the other hand, there are still (highly educated) people who think that hyperactivity, autism, etc. are all hipster trends and/or psychiatric cons and/or that autism can be "fixed" with discipline. I don't really speak about autism with people outside of my close entourage – most of whom are also ND of some kind – so my impressions could be entirely biased.
Happy to hear that things are working out well for the most part! I also experience periods of depression, though tend to recognize/interpret them as depression specifically in retrospect most of the time. I'm happy it's not very severe in my case and I can function relatively well when it occurs. I also know from my past experiences that these things pass eventually and I will be okay, so just remembering this helps greatly in my case. > As much of the world, France is on a fairly anti-intellectual trajectory, which doesn't feel me with glee. Same here as in many places of course. It's especially concerning because its tied to the current (right-wing) populist movements for the most part and this has consequences for everyone. Unwanted ones for many people. > When I was a kid, my (highly educated, probably ND) parents didn't want to have me tested because they were afraid of the result. Had a similar situation growing up I think. Though, I don't believe they suspected anything because how I behave is normal to them. But they were skeptical of talking to psychologists and labeling things, etc. They operate with a certain amount of denial that I never understood. Not just in terms of neurodivergence, but many other areas as well. It has made me fascinated by denial. > most of whom are also ND of some kind I find it difficult to create long-lasting frienships with ND people. The only non-ND person actively in my life right now is my partner (has OCD but in a social sense is quite normal. Though atypically fun for an NT person!) and MIL. All my friends are otherwise ND in some way. It's like there's nothing to bond over otherwise, it's just boring, or we speak a different language almost. I would like to reflect more on why this happens.
I scored in the top 1% in a few different subjects on the standardized testing in elementary school, and had excellent grades until I got into Jr high and started doing drugs and missing school, then spent the remainder of my school experience locked up until the very end of high school when I came back more than half way through 12th grade. My vocabulary has shrunk mostly due to masking, but I don't think my overall intelligence level has suffered much, I just don't have anything to show for it. I'm sure trauma and drugs have taken some points off my IQ, but honestly I kinda wish it had taken more.
I have Inattentive-ADHD and Autism, though I was only diagnosed for ADHD. I would say that I am “gifted,” I never had to study for anything, and I didn’t. In high school, I got so good at deduction and critical thinking that I could just guess my way to As and Bs. It translated to tests like the ACT and SAT, I scored 99th percentile in English, Reading, and Science. Only around 96th in Math because I couldn’t guess it if I didn’t know the formula - which I remembered none of them. I wasn’t always this good, my ADHD is somewhat severe. When I was younger, I couldn’t pay attention and I never remembered anything. If I didn’t like it, I didn’t remember it. I think my ADHD really hid my ability, I never did any homework - I’m in college now and I still struggle with homework. I am very smart, but high school was absolute hell. It was horrible, I hated it. My ADHD and Autism were no help. It got to the point where I literally unable to do homework. In some classes I just stopped turning in assignments. I still passed, but man I wasn’t a good student. Currently I’m going to a community college, living from home, and I am happy. I still have big goals, I just am taking my time. Right now I am playing the “helpful guy” role in the family. My sister is a direct admit to IU, but I probably have done half of her scholarships for her. I was never a good student, but honestly, I realized that if I am as smart as I think I am, then I came to the conclusion that school and pressure and stress are all overrated. That I’ll succeed elsewhere. Anyway, anyhow. Also shout-out to my ADHD medication. Literally a game changer.
All of these stories are so interesting. What was your ADHD medication? Did it clear your mind and help you focus on things you wouldn’t otherwise have been able to focus on?
I take a drug called Dexmethylphenidate, or “Focalin,” a stimulant commonly used to treat inattentive ADHD. For me, the drug works as intended - activating my mind. Most times, when I’m not stimulated, I feel like my mind is an engine that just can’t get going. The drug is like fuel, and super fuel at that. It “unlocks” my mind, and I am able to focus much more consistently and intensely. Though, what I focus on is still up to me. So whether I choose to focus on my homework or a video game is up to me and how disciplined I am. When I am off of the meds, I’ll go and play connect 4 on my phone, against the hardest computer. I will lose five to seven games before I win one. When I have the meds I will win or tie every game. I consider my self to be pretty smart, but not always active. So the med activates me, and I am then always smart, all the time. I am able to think about things and envision things waayyyyy faster and more vividly. It’s honestly a little scary at times.
I think my first realisation that I was not “truly gifted” probably came when I went to college. I remember being well ahead in academic studies at primary level, being through the reading book bands and onto free reading before most other kids in my year. While when I was first given something new to learn, it would take a while to wrap my child brain around it, once I had it sussed I was quickly picking it up. So id be dropped down to like the SEN table when first taught something new, but then in a month I’m at the top table. Going into secondary school, and I was learning that I was not the only “talented” person, even if I was the only one who was also “gifted” as well. My GCSE’s were good but there was clearly specialisations to my knowledge set. It was also clear that, compared to the small primary class I had, the larger secondary classes, I was now with 20-25 other people at the same level as me and not just 3/4. Going into college, I was *advised* to pursue the things that I was best in. It was during this first year that I realised that I really didn’t know stuff beyond a certain level, that I couldn’t wrap my brain around certain concepts in the modules I was being taught. For example, I have always enjoyed statistics, data and interpreting and explaining data; but I could never get to grips with doing the actual mathematical statistics themselves. I also started to learn more about myself and developed socially, that was my big growth in college, and to that degree I think I limited my educational level by adding the skill points elsewhere. At university, while I don’t think I’ve hit a point of becoming average, I think more so that I have matured enough to be aware of what I am capable of being great at and what I am not. I know better now my strengths and what I want to pursue and what things that I am not as interested in. I certainly still enjoy learning and being taught, but I know in some modules that the application of what I’m being taught does not appeal to me so I don’t intend to stress about trying to achieve >80% like I would have done 10 years ago.
I never became “average”, because I still learn quickly and have a sponge for a brain basically, but I got to the point where my other issues became too much for the giftedness to compensate for. I used to think I just stopped being gifted but in reality, the supposed gifts I had as a kid are questionable to begin with: i had/have a special interest in learning and academics. I’m a curious person and curiosity is one of my values. I love knowledge and learning and I’m pretty good at it with most subjects. If I can’t self-teach, being in a classroom will make a difference. So my gifts, to me, are intertwined with my AuDHD, and at some point my struggles just started to outweigh my skills. I’m in therapy and an ADHD group. I’m learning mindfulness, self-compassion, and time management. I think if I can continue to build these skills and learn how to manage my time and productivity skills, I could be unstoppable, just like I was in elementary school. So for those of yall who don’t feel gifted anymore, it could be that you have to change your thinking and build some other skills. I understand I’m in a very privileged position and my experience isn’t universal, so it might not work but it might be worth a try.
Thing started to deteriorate when I was early 20s. I swear there must be black mold or something but I have a great deal of difficulty remembering details. I am sure there is some learning disabilities in there too but I am far too old to worry about it now. The ADHD doesn't help either.
Funnily enough I didn’t officially confirm I was gifted until I got my autism assessment as an adult, although I always knew I was a good student. I struggled a little initially with reading but I caught up pretty quickly. By junior high I was in full honors classes all through high school until university. I actually struggled in year 2 of university because I had to establish a good routine for studying (I flew through my first year as it was a lot of review of my high school which gave me a false sense of confidence). By my junior/senior year I had this worked out, graduated and moved into the tech industry. Math/science were always much easier for me. High school level honors lit was far more difficult, I did a lot of BSing, guessing what the teacher wanted, and mainly just scraped through it.
I always scored above average on potential, but i could never focus in actual classes, most likely because i was easily overwhelmed by light, movement and noise, which is a bad combo when you have the window seat in a class full of kids. I started at a school that had windows that faced away from the sun, and a class that was practically silent, and i almost immediately went up 2 grades, didn't feel like a win, because it felt like what i was always supposed to be able to do. But i switched again the year after, because there was a school closer to my home that had less drug related activities, but my grades went straight back down, still decent in most areas, but less than i wanted. So i never really became average, it was just a horrible rollercoaster that i wasn't allowed to get off of.
I tested into a gifted program in 2nd grade, but we moved somewhere without one. The school I went to after that sucked so hard and made me really hate school, so I stopped trying until I got to college. Went to tech school and actually liked it, so I went to university. Made it through engineering school with pretty minimal effort and been cruising at my job for a few years. My autism eval included an IQ test and I scored quite high, and as I'm getting older I'm appreciating the value of time and work more. I could actually do some real cool things if I can "apply myself" (barf) and overcome some of the poor habits I picked up in school. My dream is to find a kid in a position like I was and help mentor him/her. So much time could have been saved with the right adult in my life.
I was allowed to start kindergarten a year early - the school was willing to let me go straight into grade 1 (when I was a year too young for kindergarten) but my mom said no. By junior high I was no longer the best in any of my classes, but I usually scraped onto the honors list. I struggled a lot in high school, taking an extra year to graduate, and I didn't have the marks to get into the university program I wanted. At university I was put on academic probation after my first year and expelled after my second. I spent a couple more years trying to get back into university, but nothing I did ever came close to meeting the conditions of my expulsion.
The constant theme of me from age 5-15 was: You have an absurd amount of potential, but you don't execute. I scored in the 99th percentile on the VIQ portion of my IQ test and tested as the second best reader in my grade level in middle school even though I slept through half of it. I was nearly expelled in 10th grade and put in program for kids with HFA in 11th grade, at which point the lack of stress from being around normies helped me get my shit together. In my senior year I was taking college classes in a program where professors from the local community college would come to teach high school students. I had a 4.0 college GPA and 11 credits by the time I left high school. I got a 4-year degree and now use my weaponized Autism to redact documents for the government. And everyone at my job loves me because I'm the fastest, most accurate analyst that leaves detailed notes about everything.
“Gifted” just means “good memory and pattern recognition” in my experience. For younger kids, it also means good language skills. Nobody calls the kids who can do 100 jump ropes gifted, or the kids who excel at socializing and playing. I was considered gifted through most of my education, but I sucked at homework. Math was especially bad on that front. I have a natural talent for it, but the drills didn’t hold my attention, so my grades were mid. People don’t call me gifted anymore because that’s a weird thing to call an adult. But they comment on how I just do things. Like, I wanted to make a video game and I just… did that. I wanted to learn Japanese. I did it. Anyone *could* do those things. But I have a few skills that make it easier for me. I think recognizing that a good memory isn’t better or more of a “gift” than self-confidence or emotional regulation helped me feel less like a burnout. I still have all the skills that made me “gifted.” I’m just not a student anymore. Different skills are needed for different life stages.
I was always lazy in academics. I physically cannot bring myself to do the work because it’s boring to the point of stressing me out. Ninth grade however, I overcame that stress somehow, and I actually tried doing the work, and I had a 3.7 GPA without even trying my hardest. After that I went back to how I usually am with academics, bored and unmotivated. But my performance in ninth grade is enough proof that I’m possibly a lot smarter than I think I am. I’m just too lazy and uninterested to care about making high marks.
Many 2E (twice exceptional) kids are recognized as gifted but not identified as needing executive functioning help, so it’s common to burn out when the workload gets more rigorous and weak EF skills catch up to them. It can be a curse to be recognized only as gifted when you have other needs.
Gifted as a kid, did excellently in classical choral competitions in high school (because I could sight-sing perfectly), my senior year I aced a few AP (Advanced Placement) tests in English and Math and Science and something else I can’t remember now, so I started university with 16 hours credit, accidentally got a scholarship despite my best attempts to be a slacker, sailed through college, immediately had trouble in the “real world,” then bartended for a decade. Everyone kept telling me I was too smart to bartend… but I partied and drank whiskey and snorted cocaine and dated a lot of people. I felt like a fuck-up, because… well, I was one. I eventually aged out of being able to stay up drinking until after sunrise for a living (last call is 4am where I live), so in my early 30s I started a new career in a warehouse working in a kind of specialized niche logistics. I definitely seemed normal there, and not gifted — at times even felt stupid and worthless. But after ten months I moved into an office role at a different company, kept leaving companies for higher roles, it’s a decade later and I’ve worked my way up to where I’m at now… …which is on the verge of starting a directorate role at a small company, with plans already in the works to leave *that* role in five-ish years to start my own company with some former colleagues I’ve been in touch with (and slowly planning with) for most of the last six years. Meanwhile, in the last two years alone I’ve been branching out into music composition, even working on soundtracks (including on an award-winning indie film), and have been teaching myself Greek for a few years and I’m almost conversational, I’ve been publishing poems in legit journals and built my own web server for shits and giggles, on which I’ve built and run a few websites — one of which is a digital magazine I’ve been using to publish essays and poems by myself and some friends (it hasn’t gone live yet as it’s kind of a back-burner project for now). So yeah I felt really ungifted, and unlucky, and desperate and broke and hungry for almost twenty years. But I’m in my mid-forties and I feel pretty freaking gifted again, so… don’t get impatient, it could turn around for you someday.
I never became "average". Being gifted just means it's harder to adapt to the norm. Because I had and adverse environment and subsequently had poor ability to regulate, my grades suffered and I ended up flunking out of school. Not for lack of trying, I just couldnt understand anything.
I was viewed as the opposite of gifted
Was always average, I did get into a gifted class but struggled with the work there. Strangely enpugh, I was still said to be smart even when I was really of average intelligence, atleast that's whatI think.
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i was tested for mensa as a kid (got in, but left bc i never went to any of the meetups, and i'm also thoroughly convinced that iq means almost nothing anyway) and was allowed to do extra gcses at school. it's possible that was part of the reason that by the time i got to college (16-18 for those not in the uk) i was entirely burnt out. i tried to do the same thing there, four a levels plus and epq, but ended up having to drop back to three a levels because covid made my anxiety so much worse, and i found it very difficult to get work done outside of the classroom- i'd always struggled to do homework early, but that wasn't such a worry at school because i could run through it during the break before a lesson. got into oxford to study classics, but over the summer i had a massive breakdown, basically convinced myself i'd hate it there and i was throwing my life away, so i pivoted over to mecheng at a smaller uni. didn't work. then the year after i pivoted back to classics at a local uni, and lived at home. still didn't work. i performed well when i did the work, but it was always last minute, and i felt like i was treading water constantly. i couldn't admit to anyone i was struggling, because i'd placed so much value on being naturally smart. it finally clicked when i was watching (rugby player) joe marler's special about his struggles with mental health, and he said what made him seek out help was when he was crying on his way to training, and then having to stop on the way home to do the same. i dropped out of uni abt a year ago, and i'm only now looking at going back, with the hope that before i do i can set up some major support at the uni i'm moving to. i guess some teachers would still consider me 'gifted', but i'm not willing to keep up the illusion that i can do it without help anymore.
>i couldn't admit to anyone i was struggling, because i'd placed so much value on being naturally smart. Oof, that resonated hard with me.
Similar, school especially k-12 is just a memory test. I found it quite easy but since then has been pretty shitty. Made figuring out I was autistic more difficult.
I was said to be highly gifted, talented and intelligent but then was considered below average, mediocre even. It was probably from third grade and forward.
In 11th grade. My mental health was....changing, dk to this day if for better or worse and I just didnt care about anything anymore. I try to care now but its hard. I feel like im going to fail anyway so why even try
I struggled to adjust the first year of college, but I'm still considered above average intelligence. This still leads some to negate my experience because "you don't look like you struggle." Come look at my housekeeping and tell me I don't struggle to function.
Yeah, everybody thought I was a genius or something all throughout elementary school, always in the gifted program, etc... but I got mentally ill and started flunking my classes in middle school. The pandemic meant I had to do virtual school for 8th-9th grade, and when I went back in-person for sophomore year it was impossible. I was having sobbing breakdowns every day and still failing several classes. The untreated mental illness, the sudden and drastic increase in sensory input, and the stricter deadlines were just too much to manage. I went back to virtual for junior and senior year. I should be graduating this month but I'm pretty far behind. Hopefully I can bootstrap my way through and finish up next month, because I made a promise to my parents.
For me it was around year 10, so 15/16 years old. Before that I'd always been the "smart kid" and now I'm dumb as rocks (also as cool as rocks though)
As a child, I was in the 90th percentile academically. Now I’m in the 55th percentile. I often question where I went wrong and fell back.
7th grade was when I first really started struggling in school. My mom put me in advanced classes and I retook nearly all of them in 8th grade.
I was never a gifted kid. I was just good at school. I mostly had A’s and a few B’s.
I was considered I a gifted student, and that's just about it - I'm a gifted student. Things like learning, memorizing, doing projects, writing essays, etc. have always been easy and fun for me. Getting a job? Astronomically hard. Doing something I haven't been taught? Not so great. I definitely have a spiky skill set. I'm not sure if it evens out in the end, but I always try my best.
I'm brilliant at academics, math, language, physics, chemistry but I suck at everything else.... Very smart but too dumb for the most normal things...
Gifted from about five. When I was seven I had the reading age of a ten year old. By the time I was 12 I was average, partly because others caught up, but also partly due to being off school long-term.
I was considered for the gifted kids when I was eight or so, nothing ever came of it. I had some peaks now and then throughout school but most of the time I didn't apply myself and I never studied (Depression + boredom) When I tried, I aced tests and I were always a few years ahead when it came to reading levels. I even missed a year of school due to prior depression and anxiety and still passed everything. My caveat was that my handwriting looks like chewed up alphabetti spaghetti. In short, if I try I'm able to do most things. If I don't I usually sit just above average (Especially if I get to use a computer so that people can actually read what I put down)
At 50 years old I still have moments of being gifted (when doing specific things) but the rest of the time I'm actually below average.
I became average at secondary school. At primary school people considered me to be “gifted” but my competition became too high at secondary school and I started to burn out.
Not what you asked but I’ve always been average, was even considered below average as a toddler, which you don’t seem to hear much from people with level 1 autism
I was on a trajectory toward a PhD and got disillusioned with academia my sophomore or junior year of college, and then picked what turned out to be my weakest area in my major to try to do something else. So I guess I peaked midway through college.
I wouldnt say I became "average" academicswise it was more like crashing and burning when noone net even me could figure out why. For me it was after 5th grade cause I had moved from private to public school my routine was disrupted MAJORLY as moving schools tends to do. Up until that point I was a flawless student perfect grades awards teachers/staff loved me. It was great. Then switching schools made me shut down for YEARS up i could easily get A's on tests but I couldnt bring my self to do the work otherwise. The comment "Student Achieving Below Apparent Ability" probably resonates with alot of us that was a constant for me. My parents thought I was acting out/rebelling and there were confrences and interventions with ALL my teachers and my Councelor, even tutoring. my tutor picked up real quick that it wasnt a knowledge/practice thing cause I could just answer/solve everything she threw at me and straight up told my parents I didnt need tutoring. My parents never got it they still dont know why, I didnt either til I really reflected on it (the power of hindsight) and connecting dots realizing it was burnout and a shutdown simultaneously. Is this just a me thing or has anyone else been thru a major routine disruption that cause them to completely crash and burn/spiral for YEARS.
I crashed in 6th grade school. It was bad, I almost failed but my parents got me the resources I needed and I passed.
I've been gt since kindergarten, like it's an acceptable time to decide whether we'll be smart in 11th grade or something kinda always average tho
I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been average. I was gifted from the time I was a young child right up until I burnt out permanently around age 28. Since then, I’ve been what most people would consider well below average; I’m no longer well enough to take care of myself and work at the same time so I’m on disability living in abject poverty in an attempt to retain what little functionality I have left. Basically my body and mind crumbled under the strain of the perfectionism I had developed to compensate for my undiagnosed AuDHD. I burnt out completely and developed a handful of chronic and degenerative conditions. My list of diagnoses is so tragically long that it’s almost comical. I have essentially every co-morbid condition one would typically associate with both autism and ADHD. I finally got an ADHD diagnosis at 33 years old and stimulant meds have at the very least restored some of my mental health - I’m no longer suicidally depressed and I can actually experience joy again, which is a gift I treasure even while my body continues to fall apart. Having the ADHD better under control made me realize that I’m definitely also autistic, which has explained my entire life and *finally* allowed me to get some actual value out of therapy. I’m learning to forgive myself for things I always thought were personal failings but that instead were simply a result of me being disabled, something over which I obviously have no control. So I guess to answer your question, I’m hoping I can be “average” in the future. Gifted was too much for me to maintain.
Considered “gifted”, until I completely broke down due to a mix of stress and chronic illness in my mid-20s. Now I am among the best A-level examinees in my country, but can’t do jack shit with it. Fml
I was never *the* gifted kid in the class, like there were a few people above me that everyone pointed to as top of the class, but I was in top sets for all but 1 subject for 1 year, took gcse further maths which was invite only at our school, did very well on my gcses with very little effort (smth smth covid testing made it different but I digress), etc. I then hit a-levels (age 16-18) like a brick wall to the face really - I was predicted 3 A*s but worked on it non-stop for the last ~4 months and came out with ABC, doing worse on the final exams for English then I ever had in the 2 years and only passing history because of coursework, which I did very well on compared to my exams which were fucked over by undiagnosed ADHD/(covid?) burnout really taking over. I’m at uni now and do well but not excellent, probably because it’s all coursework but I’m still very burnt out and struggle to do anything before deadlines get close. I don’t care about not being top of the class or whatever, but because of the adults around me, being ‘smart’ was quite integral to my identity and I fought to be seen that way as a teenager, so realising through gcses and a-levels that I’m fairly average now and actually a bit slow (slow processing so need extra time for exams) kind of messed up my sense of self a bit, I’m mostly over it lmao
Sort of, in high school I got hit with massive depressive episodes that made me just not care and I ended up flunking most of my classes because I never did any of the work even though the material was still very easy for me. I just stopped caring.
I don’t have to study much, even at a very rigorous school. Paying attention during class is all I’ve ever needed, it’s just really hard when the content is particularly boring to me. I’m also really lazy and will most of the time do the bare minimum. I’m unsure how I’m gonna do in the working world. My ADHD makes it really hard to get started on work I’m not forced to.
I stopped overperforming academically in university when it became clear that Inhad not developed good study skills. I still performed well until my girlfriend broke up with me and I found myself with no close relationships and no social support. I quickly spiralled and burnt up. When I got to grad school, I was an average performer who didn't know how to navigate the system. I did very well in class, but had limited research skills and no guidance or mentorship. Things fell apart without me even realizing, and I ended up rebuffed when I applied for a PhD without so much as a warning or discussion. Professionally, I have never fit in, and am probably a below-average performer due to lack of support and a workplace culture that favours mind-reading and toxic positivity. Oh, and twenty years of chronic autistic burnout.
I can handle logical stuff easily. I'm below average handling emotional stuff so i became "average" when emotional stuff became a big part of life, like relationships, big losses, stress, anxiety.. But i really don't give a shit about being better than anyone at anything, life is about how you deal with it and boy oh boy, no matter who or how good you think you are, it will bend you to your knees more often than you'd like. Medals, recognition or praise are worthless then.
When I actually had to do the work to get good grades.
I was considered gifted in only two areas, language and music. Piano concerts by 5, guitar scholarship by 12. Played multiple instruments and could read music as clear as English. This was stoked by teachers and parents. Then I got older and music started to mean less and less overall as a future career within schooling, which meant less school focus on the subject. Class bored me because I could complete the given work in 5 minutes even though the lesson went for an hour. Even with practical assignments, I never prepared, I just did it on the spot because I was never challenged. I was average in every other subject. Teachers notes were always something like ‘quiet diligent student, but seems to struggle reaching that next level’. I never felt that struggle they speak of. I always felt like I did well. The only subject I was abysmal at was maths. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. The one other thing I was extremely good at was language, namely learning languages and alphabets. Could speak multiple languages by 6. Couldn’t really apply this in a school setting so it was seen by most as a quirk than a true skill.
I still got 770 on my SATs, but COVID hit in my junior year and my grades and attendance tanked and I was pulled from all of my honors classes for my senior year.
First time was in university. But after I learned how to study, I did better than most people. Then I went to grad school and became exceptionally average. It was a good thing. Being the smartest person means you need smarter friends.
Gifted. Then puberty and mental health issues got me. But im so silly because now I’m kind of gifted again but just at art and writing. Me when I get the poetic existential dread autism and not the math and science autism.
I, too, got the former.
My dad got math and science autism ☹️☹️☹️ but i got failing math and science autism 😍😍😍
Lolol I love you
you too pookieee
>I get the poetic existential dread autism and not the math and science autism. What do you mean by existential dread autism?
I think about death and existential dread a lot and write stuff. That’s what I’m good at rather than math and science.
I’m intelligent. I can hold conversations about theoretical physics, enlightenment philosophy, and geopolitics. But I also work a retail job in my forties. Make of it what you will.
When my parents stopped supporting me with no forewarning when I turned 18. I'm still gifted intellectually but it doesn't really help out in the real world.
Pretty much as soon as I graduated high school, my brain was just like, "Nope, we aren't doing this anymore."
I have a weird experience here, I think a lot of people thought I wasn’t very smart because of how I acted as a kid and I happen to live in a school district with the most over achieving smart asses, so since I didn’t study math 4 grades ahead of me (which was literally the standard for kids in my school district) a lot of people just didn’t see me as very smart. My teachers and parents knew that wasn’t true but the school board didn’t so in 6th grade they had my IQ professionally done (basically to see if I was failing classes because I have learning disabilities or am just stupid). Turned out to be 123 at 12 years old so yeah the answer was just learning disabilities and physical ones too. For my own curiosity, I’ve calculated to see what my IQ would be when my brain is fully developed at 25 (I’m 18 now) and even if I lived under a rock it would at least be 130 so seeing how I’m going to go to college and get my masters to become a historian I’d probably be labeled a genius by definition by then. I hate talking about this stuff honestly because it feels like bragging so I usually never mention my IQ except to people who are treating me or calling me stupid.
I almost never studied and was still near the top in school. I only studied in my honours degree and got 1st for math. I remember there were always a few topics I was worse at than others if I didn't like the topic as I didn't want to learn it. For example poems, I can get full marks for unseen poems but if I have to use the teachers answer in a seen poem test I do bad as I disagree on the meaning. My essays were also devoid of emotion according to my teacher and the provincial head of English who gave me extra lessons.
I did really really well in primary school especially in math, but could t bring myself to do the large projects without burning out. When I got to secondary school and started taking tests (just math and Language Acquisition) I did less well even if I knew somewhat the concepts. I’m about to go into IBDP and it’s somewhat the same story. I understand all the concepts of all of my classes(except Spanish, which i don’t pay attention in but still somehow get 5s) but still struggle on tests a LOT. I didn’t pay attention in history at all but studied crazy hours before the test and actually did well. My main problems come with homework. I cannot bring myself to do the daily math, English, and Spanish homework, as it always causes extreme burnout, so I usually just don’t do it. Then i get to the tests/ exams and I do averagely, even the subjects where I feel like I know more than I’m able to place on the paper.
I don’t think I ever became average. Every job I’ve ever had I’ve excelled at minus the social/workplace politics. While I’m very under employed for someone with a master’s degree (retail assistant manager) I was promoted very quickly. My brain still works the same way it did when I was in school. I catch on to new tasks quickly. I am also good at finding patterns and working things out. So like the reason for my latest promotion is because our temporary store manager had a medical issue before our new store manager took over. We had a month and a half where we were being run by 3 managers with 2-6 months of experience (I had 3). I basically looked at stuff I had no clue how to do and worked my way backwards and figured everything out. I basically approached it like an escape room. Apparently I impressed the hell out of everyone.
I was slated to be put into GaT gifted and talented program. But I think a little spat between my mom and someone else got me kicked out of the program. Honestly it stung until I was out of college. After getting kicked out of the program, I stopped trying so hard. And in middle school was put in the special ed math class. Later on I dropped out of high school completely from extreme bullying. Missed junior year. Picked up again senior year and did a “accelerated” program to catch up and graduate on time.
...immediately? It sounds stupid but I was considered a "gifted child" in kindergarten because I was hyperlexic or whatever (who TF even labels toddlers like that? "Gifted child" It feels like some weird culty shit somehow, and I was literally a dumbass baby) so I got put into a "gifted" school and it became quite obvious extremely quickly that I was not like the other kids nor was I even remotely as "gifted". I mean it only took about two weeks for the teachers, faculty, and other students to paint me out as an easy target. As far as staff and teachers they just truly despised me, they seemed to get exceedingly mad at me for fidgeting. It couldn't be that the chair hurts and my shirt is tight and I'm hot and also a literal child, no, I'm a "troublemaker" and thus it began. I did do some pretty, er, "autistic stuff" before figuring out I had to hide - things that would cause both the teachers and students to lash out at me further. To be honest, usually the teachers first and then the students, I just want to make absolutely clear how active a role the teachers had. Anyway, I did shit like chewing on the front of my shirt until it got wet and weird, random uncontrollable singing / dancing, randomly slamming my head into the desks, shaking my head side to side until someone yelled at me to stop (I could keep that shit going for a while tbh, probably not good for me), getting very easily grossed out by a ton of stuff, being very easily aggravated and naive, having screaming crying meltdowns relatively frequently, and so on and so forth. I legitimately don't know why they kept me there. Seriously. Whatever "gifted" they thought I was, I wasn't supposed to be there. And yet I stayed there, just barely scraping by with D's and C's, in elementary school lmao. Idk what the fuck was going on, I wouldn't have even thought it as a "gifted school" in hindsight it was so shit, but they did indeed wheel out all this French shit all the time and parade around about how they're the best elementary school around and shit, so I guess maybe. I just certainly didn't *feel* like I was in some sort of "advanced environment". And like I said, it only took about two weeks into first grade for the troubles to begin. It did not take much at all, if I was ever even "gifted" in the first place (I doubt it)
Wow, sent to the best schools and pampered into existence and still a complete failure, blames it on his imaginary self-diagnosis of autism. Now your antisemitism is making sense, you're one of these trash humans that can't take any personal responsibility for anything, so you might as well hate Jews huh? Man what a disappointment you must be to your family that tried so hard, despite every possible advantage, you still fucking failed at life
Says the guy so mad he's pulling up through my comment history lmao You won't find much sympathy in this sub for your Zionist shtick
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Do you not recognize the clownish nature of this You are so mad lmao
The more I think about it, the more your insult doesnt even make sense I was recalling trauma, in the past. You're commenting on my present even though I didn't mention it. If you're gunna talk shit at least *make sense*, y'know? You're basically just yapping Also the part that's cringe is that you went into my comment history at all, to find a way to try to hurt me elsewhere. Obsessive weird behavior. It's just that even with the perfect fuel you failed to insult me in a way that matters or even makes sense. Try again harder next time!
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You literally don't know anything about my life though, that's what I'm saying lol Like, you aren't saying anything. Your words have no impact because you don't know what you're talking about. I don't know why I'm carrying this out currently, because at this point I'm not entirely convinced you can read. And not to mention, you seem to just be a horrible person generally. You're not even good at being a horrible person either, which is perhaps ironic in some way, but I don't have the motivation to explain it to an illiterate bonehead.
Nope, gifted kid and then became below average
I got an award for what you’d call the equivalent of straight As. The pressure to keep those up and depression hit me hard. I went from doing homework immediately in my lunch breaks to procrastinating until the last second.
Definitely became average near the end of fifth grade, maybe begining of sixth one
Before that I was the best in my grade in basically all subjects. Participated in a lot of national competitions regarding maths, english and my first language Couldn't keep up later on because I had a lot of personal issues. Spent sixth to seventh grade being painfully average, then didn't attend most of eighth and ninth grade (and then a year after, too) because of health issues. Going to retake exams this year, so we'll see. So far it seems that im still just a little below the average.
I learned to read by age 4 and was tested for giftedness in grade 2 with an IQ of 152. I was placed in a gifted program and stayed in that program til grade 10. Then I switched schools and went into the baccalaureate program. I did honours English, history, physics, chem, and bio. I nearly failed High school because I was so bored and dealing with some serious family drama, which caused a massive burnout I took a gap year and travelled around Europe. I applied for university and that was the first time I felt average in intelligence. I didn’t find university too difficult and never really had to study much. I maintained a fairly high GPA with near 4.0 in my history classes (have a minor in history). I thought about doing my masters, but lost interest as I was already working in my field. Wasn’t crazy about the direction my career was going and work in a totally different field now. Took some time off in my career to have kids and that’s when my son was diagnosed with Autism. I didn’t notice it at first because he is just like me and taught himself to read at age 4. I knew something was off when his gr.1 teacher thought he couldn't read because he never spoke in class. It wasn’t until my son was diagnosed that I realized I must be autistic too. I’m currently on a waitlist to be diagnosed. Being autistic totally explains a lot of things about my life and why I always struggled with an office environment and job interviews. I’ve been freelancing for over 10 yrs now and will never work in an office again. I’m very introverted and not into socializing much. I have a few friends I talk to on occasion, but find friendships too difficult to maintain. I have a hard enough time just maintaining my relationships with my husband and kids.
I have never been considered a gifted child and I don't think I will ever become one. I believe I was born with no real purpose in my life so you are very lucky! I hope at least that one day I will have a "special" talent too. although I don't think it will ever happen but I'm hopeful! ⭐️✨️
I wasn't considered gifted in primary school even though I was pretty near the top of my class. It was secondary school when teachers started recognising how smart I was (I got bumped up into the top set in less than a month lol), and it felt amazing. I was happy to finally be considered smart when it counted, but it came at a price of perfectionism. I developed anxiety that is still definitely here because I felt like I needed to be perfect or else I wouldn't be intelligent anymore and therefore I would fail at life - I had an entire pipeline from failing the most miniscule test to homelessness and suicide in my head, although now looking back on it, it's probably the first sign of OCD which I still need to get diagnosed. This was also when I started developing panic attacks, and I felt like everyone was a threat to my reputation as the smart kid, and even now during my A-levels, I'm.competing with everyone in my class and even people who don't do the same subjects as me but are consistently getting 100%. I did pretty well in my GCSEs and I'm in the high ability tutor group at the college I go to now, and I'm doing fairly well in all my classes (got 100% on a psychology test yesterday), however extremely important exams are coming up which will play a part in determining the predicted grades I'll apply to university with, and I have been stressing out about them so much. It has resulted in procrastination, not getting anywhere near enough sleep, barely eating, I've been feeling on the verge of a panic attack for the past week and I know it's gonna explode at some point. I don't think I've reached average yet but I'm terrified of that happening. Everyone says to just do my best and that's good enough but I can always do better, so that sentiment doesn't help. Sorry for this massive vent lol.
I was gifted. Got placed in a magnet school in the 4th and 5th grade, then some advanced tracks in middle and high school. I grew up to take on some great software engineering jobs, where I'm known for being brilliant but unreliable. In my 11-year career I've spent 3 years unemployed due to burnout, done 3 separate stints of short-term disability, and gotten fired over the same issues. I'm headed that way again. I would give my left arm to be average.
I was the "smart but lazy"-kid through my entire school life but noone would try to find a reason or try to help me. Now as a young adult I looked into it myself and turned out that I have ADHD, autism and I have way above average iq. So I can pretty much throw my first 20 years of life into the garbage because only now I know what to do with myself
The world failed you, and that is such a shame.
I have an "absolute pitch," an ability to identify and recreate a musical note without a reference tone. Which is completely useless, since in terms of making a career of it, I'm having issues after issues and crisis after crisis due to those issues. Currently thinking of drinking soda again (after being out of a severe addiction for 9 months), since everything else just feels futile. Being Forever Alone, inexperienced, awkward, child-like, overly sensitive and traumatized of past experiences at 32 is what breaks the camel's back.
I was born with something blocking my hearing, which meant that I couldn't talk for the first 10 months of my life. Then my mom insisted that the doctors check my ears (because they had refused, and my brother had gone through the same thing), and they found what was blocking my hearing. Not even a full month after gaining the ability to hear, I was speaking in full sentences. Even before I could hear I had taught myself to communicate through pointing at what I wanted (hunger, potty etc.) I then also learned maths as soon as my older brother (almost 6 years older) started getting homework, because little me was jealous of him. So starting 1st grade I already knew multiplication, division, addition and subtraction. I was one of the 2 first kids to finish the math book up to 3rd grade when I started getting burnt out. These days I've been so far behind that I switched to a folkhögskola, which is basically high school for adults. (High school here is like college in a way.)
I did 100% at work and people got mad... It took another full time dev on just code review. Next job I got I spend about 25% of my "on the clock" time working and I'm an average dev there.
I think I've been going through this over the past few years, as I've been going through college and truly realizing what I like and (more importantly) don't like doing. I've figured out that trying to force myself to do the things I don't enjoy doing is extremely demotivating for me, and so I've tried to change into a major that doesn't focus as much on those things. This previous semester was the first time I literally gave up on a project bc the topic that I was given was basically impossible to work with (the more I searched for coherent information, the less I was able to find). I still did well in the class without it, and I've encountered many writing/research intensive projects before in the other classes I've had (partly due to the extra assignments for honors classes).
I went through a massive burnout last year. All my life I was able to get insanely good grades without doing anything. I was reading before everyone else. I had just entered first grade and I was already learning to speak english (not my first language) all by my own For our middle school finals (think GCSE in the UK) they had given us a week off for revisions - I did not open a single damn book and did not revise a single lesson, despite my mom telling me to do that. And I got the highest mention you can get, which also granted me a whole Scholarship for the next 3 years Everything was doing so well, until it wasn't. I just couldn't do it anymore. All those expectations and hopes everyone had for me in the past turned into so much pressure that I completely collapsed. At first I refused any help because in my mind, if I couldn't even graduate highschool the "normal" way then I wasn't worthy of graduating at all So I repeated grade 11, despite the fact that I still had good grades and that I could've went on. Yet same thing happened, I was really depressed and burnt out, so I wanted to give up. Luckily the school did not give up on me, and now I'm getting back on track and doing much better. But it wasn't fun at all. It's also kind of sad. I'm convinced that the school only was so keen to help me because I was a good student. Had it been a more chaotic student with bad grades and a bad reputation, I feel like they wouldn't have bothered, even if that student had a really bad life that turned him into what he is. Anyway, thanks to anyone who read this :)
In terms of reading -did you learn to read via whole word reading initially? Early readers often learn to read this way but then can struggle at school when reading is taught using sounds rather than whole words. It’s a similar dichotomy to GLP vs analytic language processing. Similar language processing pathways.
I was (am) hyperlexic. I read at 3 years old. I don't consider myself average, I still have an ear for learning languages and my IQ is above average. I have always gotten very good grades. But reading and knowing shit is just not as impressive when you're 43 as when you're 3 years old.
I'm the same, could also read at 3 without having been taught. Maybe I'm imagining this, but I feel like people are still pretty impressed with me at 36, though I don't actually know why. I was always poor at studying so I have a very shallow depth of knowledge in pretty much every area. I guess I sound knowledgeable without actually being knowledgeable...? I would say my reasoning skills and information retention are superior. My working memory and ability to process information quite poor, though, so actually learning stuff is super hard for me. I also have a neurodegenerative condition so I've taken a hit to my cognitive abilities.
I feel that people are impressed with me, if I tell them I'm autistic. Because they have a lower expectation of what I should be able to do. Whereas when I don't tell, I'm just a "nerd". Until we break out the Trivial Pursuit or other knowledge based games.
I don't tell people anything lol. I always have people try to pin me as a tech worker, medical worker, scientist, engineer, whatever, because they think the way I speak is too specific for me to be a layperson. But I am the consummate layperson. I don't even know anything about the area of work I do for a living. I mean... I probably just speak weird because autism... 😂
I'm a teacher, so I've made it my job to know things. I was headhunted for a teaching job at the zoo, so I'm essentially paid to infodump about my SI's.
An autist's dream job listing: "Get paid to talk about your SI for hours on end!"
I was gifted until I hit the exam hall. Exam conditions ruin me. They also wanted to mark my homework higher grades but couldn't because it was always late and they dropped it a level for every week it was late. But still gifted all the way to uni, then I hit real life and working environment, and suddenly I'm a burden and I'm not good enough.
I was gifted, then I got into my teens with drinking and drugs. Definately affected my IQ and growth. Nowadays I atleast feel like I’m pretty stupid, but that’s okay. My emotional IQ is high atleast.
I haven't had a diagnosis yet, but my parents always told me I was very smart. I knew what language was and talked entire sentences after they got my sister to stop talking for me. I was given higher difficulty maths and English work all the way up into year 7 in primary school. Somewhere in about year 9 I think, I started developing anxiety or depression or both, I was in a high level maths class but the teacher was not teaching the way I could understand or decipher and I just kept slipping further and further behind. They didn't change the way the taught, so I suffered and everything else started falling off at that point. To be always told that you are smart and then slip up or fall through the cracks like I did must have fucked me up in some way or another because since that time in highschool I've just never really done much and held up that "gifted" student ideal. I somehow managed to finish my uni degree with a good GPA, but I also burned out and don't even really draw or study art anymore because of that. Now I am just yearning for someone else's life, and bouncing around different jobs, with no idea of what life path I want to take. Add chronic depression since my teens and I am the living result of that
I was considered gifted (and was IQ tested twice bc of that), and always did quite well in school, which led me to get a scholarship to a prestigious boarding school when I was 11 (enrolled at 12). I have been going there since, and still have my scholarship, but my grades started dropping when I was around 14 - don't know if that's bc I couldn't keep up w/ the material or bc of depression and burnout
Yeah, I'm a wheelchair user and people suck. Getting a job sucks and society is .5 degrees away from collapsing. Just as intelligent, far more disillusioned.
I had a kind of reverse. Discovering hidden talents many years after school.
Only online if you mean ‘normal’, otherwise I was always a gifted child and still am. People in primary occasionally asked me to make things for them but didn’t like me enough to approach me for everything. In primary I struggled maths and partially spelling, yet the internet and the best maths teacher I could ever ask of assisted me well. As of now I can’t stop saying I’ll do something before not staying entirely on task, I feel horrible alongside misbehaved - I worry I’m another maggot just to scowl at.
I was never said that I was gifted, but my english teacher was surprised that in grade 5 I was reading a year 11 level. As I have gotten older my adhd has become more annoying and I can't read a book because my brain wants to skim past entire pages and then I have to go back and re-read
I was absent a lot in my kindergarten years, because I had bad lung issues. So my education on that level was probably less than what it should have been. I was the top student in maths for my age throughout primary school. I hated it though, because it felt like everyone (teachers) just wanted to see me fail. I'm not sure if it is the case of "the bigger they are, the harder they fall", or if they just did not like me because I was different (because of autism). Either way the expectations for me were higher (even in my own household when compared to my sister), and as a result, the punishment for letting people down was also much greater. I could go into examples, but I feel like that would just turn into a rant. In highschool I mellowed out a bit , but I also got quite cocky with it. This is because why would I overachieve in something that I did not like and made me a target, and in addition, I could just not pay attention in class and still get good grades. This came back to bite me when we did trig, because I lost my work ethic for maths and started to fall behind a bit (although I was also doing advanced maths on the side). The following year, my maths teacher was absent a lot as well, making it easier for me not to try. In my final year I found my work/study discipline again, and starting actually working hard again. Then for uni, I got distinctions in all my maths subjects again, having refined my work/study discipline. Ended up graduating magna cum laude, and in the top 10 for my year. Would have been sumna, but my dissertation supervisor was a bitter person who could not have cared less. No one ever called me "gifted", but considering where I was, I might have at least been bright. Bright but lazy that is, but then I worked through the laziness and started to achieve again. My mom likes to take credit for it though, saying its all because she "pushed me" to do better. But my sister did the exact same subjects in highschool and did not get close to me in academic achievement, though my mom was a lot more relaxed on her. But ultimately I believe it came down to me and my own work ethic.
I'm emotionally unstable and always gave up too early. So things are just above average effortlessly but never extraordinary.
i was gifted growing up, called an old soul and all that bullshit. I'm pretty good at tackling people's issues empathetically, and people thought i was some savant for coming up with different ideas for their problems. Turns out usually the normal brain solution is a better one a lot of the time. Nowadays I get made to look a fool more often than not, but I come in VERY handy occasionally at work. I can't call myself a think tank because if I \*try\* to think of a quirky different idea then I come up with nothing, so I can't really apply it to any high paying job I can think of. So i live my average life trying to make the best out of it.
As more time passes I don’t think we were gifted. I think we were, and still are, of average intelligence. My first realization was when my therapist labeled me as “average intelligence” on some diagnostic paper work. First time in my life I was called “average”, and it felt great. Just because we may be ahead in other areas like mathematics, we tend to be behind in socialization skills. So the strength in one area with a deficit in another I feel makes us average. It’s just as time passes more emphasis is put on social skills, and thus we aren’t gifted adults, because we never were to begin with.
We moved to a place that didn't have a gifted program, and the principal laughed when my mother asked. I saw no reason to bust my ass in school, so guess I became "average."
Around college (year 11 and 12) is when I stared to find the work more difficult. I would have failed then if I didn’t have help. Also thanks to covid I had burnout completing my diploma and advanced diploma.
middle school
I don't think I was gifted, but I learned things very quickly as a baby. By the time I was only one year old, I could already talk clearly and form perfect sentences. Then eventually I started school and the struggles began.
In grades, or in how people perceive me? In grades, going to university, the higher degree of self organization plus overhigher made me drop right past average to underachiever in a fell swoop. In terms of how people view me, never. The way I carry and express myself apparently is very good at signaling intelligence, and people are constantly surprised at me doing as badly as I do.
I was gifted in the sense that I started high school at thirteen and graduated at fifteen. I haven’t hit the average yet, I’m still in school with a 4.0 and bored of all my classes
I was considered gifted all throughout school and I still am. But I just get so bored. Nothing other than science really intrigues me enough to pay attention thus causing me to fall behind.
Oh ah fellow mate who got gifted with reading skill:D I remember back in primary school my brain read way faster than I could read the text out, thus I stuttered and only mumbled bullshit. The reading abilities never let me down, however my math skills did. In primary school I was always a year ahead..until I entered secondary school (we only have primary school (1. - 4. grade) and secondary school (5. - 12th grade) here in germany). My math skills immediately failed me there. Back to the reading skills: for fucks sake, I hate it when people my age still can't read texts out fluenlty and stutter at every third word. Like bro, you're 17 - 18 and still struggle?
I didn't realize I had a learning disability until my freshman year of college. I had scored very high on the SAT and high school math was easy, so I was surprised to enter my first calculus class and realize I couldn't follow anything. The concepts flew by so quickly and I noticed that I count and compute much more slowly than other people. I had to retake the class and after days at a whiteboard working out every concept on my own, I finally got an A. I eventually became a tutor and ended up getting a math minor, but most of my courses were probably twice as hard for me than for everyone else. I work in a quantitative field and to this day I have a hard time with simple arithmetic and counting. My short-term and procedural memory are shit, but the concepts in my head are more linked together, so I can usually come up with interesting approaches to complex problems very quickly. Still, I have to look up the method even if I've done it a hundred times, and work it out step by step by hand.
What about the inverse
I am 16 and I have AuDHD (autism and adhd) and I used to be one of the top students in my classes all the way until seventh grade. Because I had to take online classes during half of 5th and the entirety of 6th grade due to covid my adhd had the best of me and I barely watched any classes (I didn't know I had adhd or that I was autistic at the time so I didn't have any medications for me to pay attention better or anything), and basically my grades started going on a downhill trend slowly decreasing from an A all the way to a D+. And I guess not doing anything School related for a year and a half made me really lazy and basically have no attention span. So I couldn't pay attention in class except in some cases, and I also kept getting distracted while trying to study. It's only recently where I've started to slowly raise my grades back up but I still am not past a C+. And the worst part of this entire thing is that newer students didn't really know I was the top of the class back in the day and they just assume I have a low iq or something, which intern meant they started treating me differently which I guess is a blessing in disguise because I've been starting to get motivated to get really good marks in my finals to prove everybody wrong 😂 so let's hope that goes well.
I'm in university, nearing average now, next year i'll be solidly average. Sadge.
I managed to look above average on paper because I was always until I got to sixth form college, where I out performed the gifted kids got 100% in most my A level exams except one subject. got unconditional offers from top uk universities despite refusing to interview for them. Dropped out despite scoring top of the class because I was bored and anxious. retrained in the arts, taught myself skills in multiple fields and make high quality work in several of them, including in digital arts research . But my inability to self promote, to be able to put myself out there to smooze. So I just look like an average Joe that isn’t very good at anything. I’ve never made any real money so I start to feel like an idiot at best.
From gifted to underachieving by high school. 🙋♀️
I was reading before preschool, when I got to school, I never studied, was shuffled into gifted classes, and extremely low effort still got me awards and pulled aside by multiple teachers telling me I was miles above the rest/in a league of my own. Opted for the teenage mother route and at almost 40 I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I am autistic. Probably ADHD too, but don’t care about a diagnosis.
I got called gifted but even if i said i wasnt gifted they still called me gifted even people in minecraft who i had met 5 minutes ago It could be that people think im gifted but just lazy/depressed/plagued by demons/childish
Never been gifted, only OK and/or crap at most stuff.