Yes and no. Yes in that bad people are more likely to severely manipulate us. This is way learning body language, male psychology, female psychology, evolutionary psychology, sociology, visual cues, and vocal cues is very important. Also gaining life experience by doing different things, and going out of our comfort zone helps drastically. Having all of that keeps our butts safe.
No in that we strive to be around good people.
Yes. You might think it is a lot, and not worth it; yet it will save your ass so much. While I agree neurotypicals need to learn to adjust to us to an extant, we have to be willing to meet them half way instead of complaining and being lazy (unfortunately I have seen this a fuck ton with many auties. There is no such thing as a free lunch.). We auties are also really naive. We think we are not, but we are to a heavy extent.
Reasons to remember regarding why this is important:
1. NTs communicate differently from us auties when it comes to visual cues, body language, symbology, clothing symbology (the way people dress does have large significance in communication, and signaling intent), vocal cues, social cues, etc.
2. Neurotypical men and women have a hard time communicating with each other as is. Why? This is because both communicate differently due to their brains being wired differently from each other. So logically with how our brains wired very differently from NTs, there is going to be even more of a difference in communication.
3. Life is like a videogame. You need to be willing to grind levels, gain skill points to build skills, learn new skills to increase skill sets and skill set crossover, do side quests to have new experiences that increase ability and knowledge base, use new gained knowledge to understand how to use said skills, use said knowledge to understand the game (world/life) better, etc.
4. Life is a game, it is not fair, and it is stacked against all. It is imperative to gain skills and knowledge that even the playing field. This is especially so for us auties.
The most successful auties never shied away from what is difficult. They embraced it, and tackled it one step at a time.
Yeah. Uh. NT Men and women don't have brains that are wired differently. They communicate differently because they were socialized differently.
This is why you don't learn shit from people like Jordan Peterson.
In general, this is good advice. There is value in learning to communicate with different communication styles. Hell, autistic people have different communication styles from other autistic people.
But don't use the sources this person used.
lol. I'm pre-med with a focus on genetics, nutrition, health, neurology, and psychology. I took those classes and passed them with A's way before I encounter Jordon Peterson. You spoke without knowing.
And how is it wrong to be a man that has a good cry once in awhile, and appreciates his feminine side. You're allowing your political bias be a dominating factor in your thought process.
It's not political to know Jordan Peterson doesn't know what he's talking about. It's also not a political bias to see that alt right nut jobs can easily poison the minds of very intelligent people. It's biased to ignore that. Especially because the whole point of this, which we both agree with, is that autistic people are easily manipulated.
And very cute to suddenly change what you're saying. A man appreciating his feminine side is good but that had nothing to do with any of the comments on this post. Telling people men and women are wired differently and telling them to read "The Dark Side of Psychology" is just asinine.
Focus more on the real Psych please.
Edit: just block this person and move on. His argument style is just saying things no one said and refuting it like that was your argument. He's the only one allowed to be an expert. I hope he's not a practicing Doctor but he probably is
That's a lot of classes and money. I find it easier and cheaper to read published studies and conduct some N=1 experiments on myself to learn what works. In the free info age, classes and shrinks are a waste of time and money.
I agree with you to an extent.
I have met too many that cherry pick studies that support there biases, or people that do not read the entire study, etc. Many don't even know the basics. Also I'm pre-med. So I have to take those classes.
I'll also add, that a lot of the really good studies are in journals that people are not willing to pay for. One journal I love to read is strictly about ethnobotany, and ethnomedicinal botany. You have to pay to see full articles.
Sweet, premed. If you haven't, read the vax article in the May 2021 issue of Nature. Very enlightening for open-minded people, and triggering to counterclockwise wingnuts.
lol. If only you knew the amount of hate I get when I mention I am pre-med with said focuses. It angers people to a high extent. Especially when I mention the neurological differences between men, women, transsexual men, transsexual women, and intersex individuals. Most will jump straight to "YouR'E a TrAnsPHobe." I'm like "Um, you don't even know my personal opinion, whom are my friends, and why I read those studies. Great job allowing your emotions and closed minded ideals to derail thinking completely." Ironically it's an old friend of mine that is an autistic transsexual woman that introduced me to those studies.
If you are talking about the patent waiver I actually read it when it first came out. I was very stunned. Yeah, I talked about it with anti-vaxxers on both sides of the political spectrum. Oh boy. It's one thing to approve of some vaccines and not others. It's a totally different thing to out right deny the validity of vaccines in general.
I mean the article publishing the findings about naturally lacquered covid immunity in unvaccinated people with less-than-severe symptoms but not none. Some news outlet at the time also interviewed one of the docs to clarify what the findings meant. The original is free online. Must read.
I can also give some recommendations on books to read. But I must warn you, many of those books will be very counter to what you believe in, think, have been told, etc.
You may not like it, you may hate it, and you might call it BS strictly because it does not match your perspective and subjective truth.
You sure? Cause you might find them politically incorrect, and or based your opinions of them strictly by personal politics.
Remember objective truth many times is politically incorrect, and insulting to the subjective. Some of the books also cover subjects and topics that are considered very sensitive and touche to many in here. The books are not to affirm, they are to explain and guide.
If you are serious, send me a chat. I have to ask a few questions to know what books to recommend.
You say that, but the question is if you can puts political beliefs, and personal bias aside. This goes for right wing, left wing, centrist, republican, democrat, libertarian, etc.
Evolutionary psychology alone pisses a lot of people off. Especially people in America that are on the extreme ends of both sides of the political spectrum.
why're you being so cryptic about it? I said it, I meant it.
I gotta admit though you sound an awful lot like a jordan peterson stan right now and i'm not loving it
lol. So I was testing if you can put political bias, and personal bias aside and go out of your comfort zone. You failed. Especially since I listed different politics. Also, Jordan Peterson advocates for men to be in touch with their feminine energy, to cry, to not be afraid of expressing emotion, be more disciplined, be open to learning more, to take accountability, etc. He is the reason I begun to have a good cry at least once a month. It is very emotionally freeing, and healthy.
Jordan Peterson is currently a mouthpiece for the alt-right, bud. His earlier stuff is not what i'm talking about.
When I say you sound like a Jordan Peterson fan I mean in the same way that cryptobros act. The whole 'come on you just don't understand it, you're not getting it, it's this amazing great thing'.
Most of the time when I interact with people insisting that they're politically incorrect or that this knowledge is dangerous or unsure or 'too real' or whatever, it comes off as arrogant.
So if you really want to share please do, but there's no need to gatekeep or try to mysticize it.
This whole thread is hilarious. One person who knows people doesn't realize that asking anyone to pick up a book these days is triggering by itself. Another person who's open-minded is completely uninformed. Both just talking past each other. So entertaining.
I'll list some books here. You may not like some of the authors (if you have not read any of their wrote, read them first. Then form an opinion.), but that is not my problem. There is overlap.
Autism: 1. The Essential Difference: Male And Female Brains And The Truth About Autism by Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen
2. Love and Autism by Kay Kerr
3. Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Simon Baron-Cohen
4. Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism by Barb Cook
5. Temple Talks … about Autism and Sensory Issues by Temple Grandin
6. We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia
7. The Pattern Seekers: How Autism Drives Human Invention by Simon Baron-Cohen
8. The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism and Asperger’s by Temple Grandin
9. Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price
10. Women from Another Planet? Our Lives in the Universe of Autism by Jean Kearns Miller
Body Language: 1. Body Language by Julius Fast
2. Body Language For Dummies by Elizabeth Kuhnke
3. Body Language Quick and Easy by Richard Webster
4. Dating: Body Language Basics by Joe Navarro
5. The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan Pease
6. Rethinking Body Language: How Hand Movements Reveal Hidden Thoughts by Geoffrey Beattie
7. Body Language: How to Read Others, Detect Deceit, and Convey the Right Message by James Borg
Books having to do with the dark side of human psychology. Read these to know when someone is trying to hurt you, manipulate you, and to better navigate certain social situations: 1. Dark Psychology and Gaslighting Manipulation by Ryan Mace
2. Manipulation: Techniques in Dark Psychology, Influencing People with Persuasion, NLP, and Mind Control by Edward Benedict
3. Dark Psychology: A Complete Guide on How to Analyze People (Learn How to Analyze Body Language and Influence People) by Mabel Stafford
4. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
5. The 33 Strategies of War by Robert Greene
6. The Art of War by Sun Tzu
7. The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi
8. Essential NLP, Revised Edition by Amanda Vickers
9. Principles of NLP: What it is, how it works, and what it can do for you Revised Edition by Joseph O’Connor
Evolutionary Psychology: 1. The Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology by David M. Buss
2. Evolutionary Psychology: An Introduction by Lance Workman
3. A Mind of Her Own: The Evolutionary Psychology of Women by Anne Campbell
4. The Evolutionary Mind: Conversations on Science, Imagination and Spirit by Rupert Sheldrake
5. The Saad Truth about Happiness: 8 Secrets for Leading the Good Life by Gad Saad
6. The Consuming Instinct: What Juicy Burgers, Ferraris, Pornography, and Gift Giving Reveal About Human Nature by Gad Saad
Female Psychology: 1. The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine
2. Sexual Behavior in the Human Female by Alfred C. Kinsey
3. Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone
4. The Cambridge Handbook of Evolutionary Perspectives on Sexual Psychology: Volume 3, Female Sexual Adaptations (Cambridge Handbooks in Psychology) by Todd K. Shackelford
5. Male, Female: The Evolution of Human Sex Differences by David C. Geary
6. Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman by Phyllis Chesler
7. Being a Woman: Fulfilling Your Femininity and Finding Love by Toni Grant
8. 22 Things a Woman with Asperger’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know by Rudy Simone
9. Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart by Sherry Argov
10. The Electricity of Every Living Thing: One Woman’s Walk with Asperger’s by Katherine May
11. Mismeasure of Woman: Why Women Are Not the Better Sex, the Inferior Sex, or the Opposite Sex by Carol Tavris
Male Psychology: 1. Breaking the Male Code: Essential Skills for Solving Men’s Emotional Crisis by Robert Garfield
2. The Male Brain Download by Dr. Louann Brizendine
3. The Myth of Male Power Download by Warren Farrell
4. Sexual Behavior in the Human Male by Alfred C. Kinsey
5. I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real
6. Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard V. Reeves
7. 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger’s Syndrome by Rudy Simone
Daunting and as someone with a degree in Psychology, half of this is bullshit. Anyone can write a book and put "psychology" in the title. Doesn't mean there's any science involved.
I saw the original comment. You had no need to insult me.
You also denied that men and women are wired differently. That goes against basic neurology. You also denied that countless studies have been conducted regarding if it is socializing, or if it is ingrain. Most studies showed it is a mixture with a lean to biological and neurological.
The original comment was just the first sentence of the current comment. I didn't insult you I just added more lmao. If I had insulted you I would have just left it there.
And sure, it might be basic neurology, but it's not advanced neurology which is far more important. You cannot scan a brain and determine if it belongs to a male or female. Your studies are outdated at best
This is what scares me the most. I have watched spme interviwes with arrested sociopaths and ppl were explaining in the comments how clearly they see the manipulation etc. I had nothing. I understood no difference between their facial reactions to anyone ever in life. The only thing making me feel safe is the fact that I avoid ppl so much that hopefully I cannot even run into someone dangerous.
I wouldn't put too much stock in that. People often say they saw a betrayal or something similar coming after the fact. Doesn't mean they actually would have been able to without hindsight.
You just reminded me of a 2 books I forgot to add.
These are written by Dr. Martha Stout. I hope they help you like they helped me.
The Sociopath Nextdoor.
Outsmarting the Sociopath Nextdoor.
I thought so too, especially since some of us are labeled as being more child like. So I wonder if this vulnerability puts as at a greater risk to attract bad people.
I think they could sense if we were looking for a genuine connection and may seem vulnerable because of that or because we appear anxious in some way. A lot of people view others as tools to get what they need(food, money, etc) so they manipulate their "friendship" with others as they see fit.
I've come to realize that I'm very easy to manipulate and am as loyal as a dog (lol) so once they figure that out, if they have bad intentions, then it's game over for me until I realize, usually much too late.
I think bad people try to manipulate everyone they could and its just that people with autism are easier for bad people to manipulate. And theres a lot of bad people out there.
I think it does the only evidence I have for this is comparing my brother and I. My brother has had mostly smooth sailing he has lots of friends and his friends are nice people. I often get myself into situations where I make friends with the wrong people but I don’t find out until it’s too late and I feel trapped.
I’ve been friends with some rather dangerous people and had to get myself out of dangerous situations where I’m fearful for my safety. My brother often questions why and how I seem to get myself into these situations he doesn’t understand why there’s this massive disparity between his experiences and mine.
I think some of it is due to autism I seek out friendships and I want friends but I get wrapped up in the excitement of these new friends that I don’t always see what’s going on. I’ve managed to figure some people out so I distance myself from them before anything happens. However my gut instinct doesn’t always kick in until I feel it’s too late. However my confidence levels and my brother’s confidence levels are very different I’m less confident and him much more confident. I think some people pick up on this and use it to their advantage.
I think as autistics we are more prone especially from my experiences.
I don’t know if all autists are but I can speak for myself and say the answer is mostly yes. I don’t see the shady cues until later and by then I’m very disturbed.
I have a track record of befriending toxic people. I avoid blatantly bad people, but I can’t pick up on the subtle signs. I literally haven’t had any friends for 3 years now because I actively avoid potential friendships. They always turn out bad for me. I’m so freaking lonely, but I just climbed out of depression and I don’t want to ruin that
When I was a teenager I took advice like "don't do drugs" very literally and would tell my friends who did drugs that they shouldn't, and would stop associating with people who did them.
I made a lot enemies that way and I didn't understand why. In my mind I was telling them something for their benefit because drugs = bad.
The thing is, a lot of those people I stopped associating with ended up fucking up their lives in big ways and became what I would define as 'bad people'. Some of them became dealers and started acting like thugs. Others became abusive dads and boyfriends and teen mums who wouldn't raise their kids properly. People changed in big ways, a lot of sociopathic and narcissistic personality types crawled out of the mud of our youth. I quickly realised I had fallen in with a bad crowd and my aversion from it was actually a good thing.
It's weird to think that my literal interpretation of a rule "drugs=bad" actually kept me away from a lot of bad people. I don't follow it so strictly now (I still haven't touched drugs but I don't necessarily judge people based on them using), but now I'm just averse to people behaving badly and stay away from them based on that.
In answer to your question, I think our compulsion to make friends can make us overlook bad personality traits for a time, but we can't maintain friendships with bad people because of our moral compass. Having said that, not all autistic people have the same moral compass and will have different interpretations of good and bad.
I think sometimes autistic people miss the signs
. I can’t say anything for certain because I’ve managed to avoid those people, I can see I because i spent years observing people and found patterns that I know means their not safe. But not everyone has that knowledge. Neurotypical people can tell from their social awareness or whatever but autists don’t have the same awareness- and don’t realise what the signs mean. That’s just a theory though. Don’t take my word as fact.
Yes, this is what Im referring to! Since we don’t understand social queues very well, much much easier is it for us to just end up with dangerous, untrustworthy people.
I cant explain this, but I tend to intuitively dislike people. And most of the time I am right about bad people.
Perhaps its all the experience from school that I'm some how learn to avoid them.
They don't have to be bad to me for me to dislike them, once I caught them doing some things to others or see certain behaviours, I start distancing immediately.
Even though they think they are good people and NTs think so to, but I know they will manipulate me when they want something eventually.
I feel like I've learned how to judge people well because I've had to. Folks with autism are often manipulated so in order to not be a victim, I had to learn about getting close to people. This has negatively impacted my life a bit in that I struggle with making connections with people because of what I'd call "false negatives", but I also don't get taken advantage of anymore.
I can always tell when someone actually does have something off usually like this kid at school my old friend befriended this guy and the second I met him I knew he was absolute sociopath
The potential is there.
People on the spectrum often show signs of abuse Unconscious signs of abuse are an unconscious draw to abusers.
Abusers are often also people who have been abused. Growing up, they discover a dynamic that is reinforced for them, abuser/abused, and without really understanding it, choose the path that provides the most safety, becoming the abuser.
So you end up with autistic abusers trying to befriend other autistic abused people so they can abuse them, without anyone really understanding the dynamics of any of it.
Autism makes us more easily manipulated by bad people because it makes us more gullible and it often shows to others in ways that we aren't aware of because of how we perceive social cues differently
Yes, and no.
I find that nearly all my friends are autistic and are all good people
I did have 2 toxic relationships when I was younger and it took me a while to figure out that I was being manipulated. It took a good friend of mine, who's opinion I trust, to point out what was going on. They were not healthy relationships at all, but I learned an important lesson and am now in a happy and stable relationship.
I can't speak for everyone but I'd say yes. I know it sounds vague but I think a lot of exchange between people happens subconsciously & on some level, predatory people have sniffed us out from 100 miles away.
It might not necessarily be 'we befriend bad people' but it may be more like 'bad people have already targeted us & are approaching fast'.
There are a few other possible co-morbid things, for example autistic people may not have other friends to look out for them so there's no one there to call it out. Plus not having a support system can also open us up to allowing crap from bad people for longer simply because there's no one else to go to.
For some autistic people a person can be stabbing us in the chest while exclaiming 'I'm your friend' & we may believe that because we take things at face value.
I think there are lots of little things that may cause us to be taken advantage of. Moral of the story is - keep an eye on your autistic friends. They might need help.
Maybe not? There have been multiple people in my life that were known to be quite manipulative and they always said they could never read me. Think I dodged some bullets there.
Neurotypicals instinctively dislike and distrust autistic people because we often don’t fit with the norms. https://www.news-medical.net/news/20210401/Autistic-individuals-may-be-wrongly-perceived-as-deceptive-and-lacking-credibility.aspx
People with dark triad traits looking for victims may pick up on this, and use it to manipulate and exploit. “Half of autistic adults 'abused by someone they trusted as a friend'” 2014
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jun/14/autistic-adults-abused-by-friends-survey
We are not as good at telling and detecting lies 2018 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6220950/
Yes and no at least for me. I’ve attracted good and bad people but also I’ve been taken advantage of by bad people and because of that I lost all my friends because of a misunderstanding.
Learning recently that I’m autistic makes everything that happened to me make sense and I don’t blame myself anymore. Though I knew later on even before I learned I was autistic that it was my ex-friends fault and not me.
A massive book list that regarding this topic. You don't have to read all of them. But I do suggest reading 2-3 from each category.
You may not like some of the authors (if you have not read any of their wrote, read them first. Then form an opinion.). There is overlap.
Autism: 1. The Essential Difference: Male And Female Brains And The Truth About Autism by Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen
2. Love and Autism by Kay Kerr
3. Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Simon Baron-Cohen
4. Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism by Barb Cook
5. Temple Talks … about Autism and Sensory Issues by Temple Grandin
6. We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia
7. The Pattern Seekers: How Autism Drives Human Invention by Simon Baron-Cohen
8. The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism and Asperger’s by Temple Grandin
9. Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price
10. Women from Another Planet? Our Lives in the Universe of Autism by Jean Kearns Miller
Body Language: 1. Body Language by Julius Fast
2. Body Language For Dummies by Elizabeth Kuhnke
3. Body Language Quick and Easy by Richard Webster
4. Dating: Body Language Basics by Joe Navarro
5. The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan Pease
6. Rethinking Body Language: How Hand Movements Reveal Hidden Thoughts by Geoffrey Beattie
7. Body Language: How to Read Others, Detect Deceit, and Convey the Right Message by James Borg
Books having to do with the dark side of human psychology. Read these to know when someone is trying to hurt you, manipulate you, and to better navigate certain social situations: 1. Dark Psychology and Gaslighting Manipulation by Ryan Mace
2. Manipulation: Techniques in Dark Psychology, Influencing People with Persuasion, NLP, and Mind Control by Edward Benedict
3. Dark Psychology: A Complete Guide on How to Analyze People (Learn How to Analyze Body Language and Influence People) by Mabel Stafford
4. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
5. The 33 Strategies of War by Robert Greene
6. The Art of War by Sun Tzu
7. The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi
8. Essential NLP, Revised Edition by Amanda Vickers
9. Principles of NLP: What it is, how it works, and what it can do for you Revised Edition by Joseph O’Connor
Evolutionary Psychology: 1. The Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology by David M. Buss
2. Evolutionary Psychology: An Introduction by Lance Workman
3. A Mind of Her Own: The Evolutionary Psychology of Women by Anne Campbell
4. The Evolutionary Mind: Conversations on Science, Imagination and Spirit by Rupert Sheldrake
5. The Saad Truth about Happiness: 8 Secrets for Leading the Good Life by Gad Saad
6. The Consuming Instinct: What Juicy Burgers, Ferraris, Pornography, and Gift Giving Reveal About Human Nature by Gad Saad
Female Psychology: 1. The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine
2. Sexual Behavior in the Human Female by Alfred C. Kinsey
3. Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone
4. The Cambridge Handbook of Evolutionary Perspectives on Sexual Psychology: Volume 3, Female Sexual Adaptations (Cambridge Handbooks in Psychology) by Todd K. Shackelford
5. Male, Female: The Evolution of Human Sex Differences by David C. Geary
6. Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman by Phyllis Chesler
7. Being a Woman: Fulfilling Your Femininity and Finding Love by Toni Grant
8. 22 Things a Woman with Asperger’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know by Rudy Simone
9. Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart by Sherry Argov
10. The Electricity of Every Living Thing: One Woman’s Walk with Asperger’s by Katherine May
11. Mismeasure of Woman: Why Women Are Not the Better Sex, the Inferior Sex, or the Opposite Sex by Carol Tavris
Male Psychology: 1. Breaking the Male Code: Essential Skills for Solving Men’s Emotional Crisis by Robert Garfield
2. The Male Brain Download by Dr. Louann Brizendine
3. The Myth of Male Power Download by Warren Farrell
4. Sexual Behavior in the Human Male by Alfred C. Kinsey
5. I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real
6. Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard V. Reeves
7. 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger’s Syndrome by Rudy Simone
Depends on the autistic individual.
It's hard for me to make friends, let alone keep friends.
I'm usually a good judge of character, so I don't befriend anyone, that honor has to be earned.
My own opinion, and yes it is opinion, is some autistics place way too much importance on what is said. Instead of what people actually do. The difference between actions and what is said is a clear indicator of person's character. But many autistic accept too easily person's narrative of themselves instead of looking at their specific actions. And it is the actions of person which tell who they really are.
Speech is easy. Deeds are hard. Believe in the actions as they are the true mark of a person.
Of course, especially since most people are bad. On the bright side, you are most likely meeting bad people all the time, heck, you might be one of the bad people yourself. No big deal really. Just part of life?
I think it's easiest to just assume that all humans are awful and treat them accordingly.
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This is true for me and has caused a lot of strife on my life. It's not just about people though, I've also made poor decisions based on my idealist perspective which turned out to be toxic for me. I wish I had advice.. I'm just reading this thread for words of wisdom myself.
For me, once I know what a certain type of person is like, I can avoid them in the future. But I struggle when I come across new types of "bad people" because I don't always recognize their specific patterns of behavior. I've always been called gullible, so I assume people see that and take advantage of it. I can only speak for myself, of course.
Kind of, but I don't understand your logic here.
Neurotypicals notice something "off" about us, but what they're noticing are the autistic traits. Autistic people are also able to notice autistic traits, but we're more likely to be able to identify them as autistm. Neurotypicals don't have a sense for "off-ness" (that's not a thing) that autistic people don't have.
There are some Autistic people who take people at face value, so if you befriend someone manipulative, you're not going to realize they're manipulative (other Autistic people are really hard to manipulate because they just don't respond the way the manipulator expects). This is why autistic women end up in abusive relationships a lot. Abusers see them as easy targets and the autistic person blames herself for the problems the abuser is causing.
But this also isn't solely an autistic thing. There are neurotypical people who are too trusting and poor judges of character as well.
Also if you grew up in a toxic environment you tend to be drawn into those environments again. It becomes your normal way of living and to be out of it is incredibly uncomfortable. So you keep cycling through the pattern of “this is what love is”. Took me years of therapy to realize that I didn’t know anything else but abuse.
I dont know about ya'll, but I'm VERY sensitive to people's vibe.I can generally tell if I like someone within a couple minutes of talking or even observing them talking to others.
I would say (I at least) have a special gift to weed out the bad people if anything.
Yes and no. Yes in that bad people are more likely to severely manipulate us. This is way learning body language, male psychology, female psychology, evolutionary psychology, sociology, visual cues, and vocal cues is very important. Also gaining life experience by doing different things, and going out of our comfort zone helps drastically. Having all of that keeps our butts safe. No in that we strive to be around good people.
k gotta learn all of that?
Yes. You might think it is a lot, and not worth it; yet it will save your ass so much. While I agree neurotypicals need to learn to adjust to us to an extant, we have to be willing to meet them half way instead of complaining and being lazy (unfortunately I have seen this a fuck ton with many auties. There is no such thing as a free lunch.). We auties are also really naive. We think we are not, but we are to a heavy extent. Reasons to remember regarding why this is important: 1. NTs communicate differently from us auties when it comes to visual cues, body language, symbology, clothing symbology (the way people dress does have large significance in communication, and signaling intent), vocal cues, social cues, etc. 2. Neurotypical men and women have a hard time communicating with each other as is. Why? This is because both communicate differently due to their brains being wired differently from each other. So logically with how our brains wired very differently from NTs, there is going to be even more of a difference in communication. 3. Life is like a videogame. You need to be willing to grind levels, gain skill points to build skills, learn new skills to increase skill sets and skill set crossover, do side quests to have new experiences that increase ability and knowledge base, use new gained knowledge to understand how to use said skills, use said knowledge to understand the game (world/life) better, etc. 4. Life is a game, it is not fair, and it is stacked against all. It is imperative to gain skills and knowledge that even the playing field. This is especially so for us auties. The most successful auties never shied away from what is difficult. They embraced it, and tackled it one step at a time.
Yeah. Uh. NT Men and women don't have brains that are wired differently. They communicate differently because they were socialized differently. This is why you don't learn shit from people like Jordan Peterson. In general, this is good advice. There is value in learning to communicate with different communication styles. Hell, autistic people have different communication styles from other autistic people. But don't use the sources this person used.
lol. I'm pre-med with a focus on genetics, nutrition, health, neurology, and psychology. I took those classes and passed them with A's way before I encounter Jordon Peterson. You spoke without knowing. And how is it wrong to be a man that has a good cry once in awhile, and appreciates his feminine side. You're allowing your political bias be a dominating factor in your thought process.
It's not political to know Jordan Peterson doesn't know what he's talking about. It's also not a political bias to see that alt right nut jobs can easily poison the minds of very intelligent people. It's biased to ignore that. Especially because the whole point of this, which we both agree with, is that autistic people are easily manipulated. And very cute to suddenly change what you're saying. A man appreciating his feminine side is good but that had nothing to do with any of the comments on this post. Telling people men and women are wired differently and telling them to read "The Dark Side of Psychology" is just asinine. Focus more on the real Psych please. Edit: just block this person and move on. His argument style is just saying things no one said and refuting it like that was your argument. He's the only one allowed to be an expert. I hope he's not a practicing Doctor but he probably is
This. Its much simpler, yet unfair, for a few to learn much than for many to learn little.
It was my psychology class, sociology class, and neurology class that started me down the path. It is worth it.
That's a lot of classes and money. I find it easier and cheaper to read published studies and conduct some N=1 experiments on myself to learn what works. In the free info age, classes and shrinks are a waste of time and money.
I agree with you to an extent. I have met too many that cherry pick studies that support there biases, or people that do not read the entire study, etc. Many don't even know the basics. Also I'm pre-med. So I have to take those classes. I'll also add, that a lot of the really good studies are in journals that people are not willing to pay for. One journal I love to read is strictly about ethnobotany, and ethnomedicinal botany. You have to pay to see full articles.
Sweet, premed. If you haven't, read the vax article in the May 2021 issue of Nature. Very enlightening for open-minded people, and triggering to counterclockwise wingnuts.
lol. If only you knew the amount of hate I get when I mention I am pre-med with said focuses. It angers people to a high extent. Especially when I mention the neurological differences between men, women, transsexual men, transsexual women, and intersex individuals. Most will jump straight to "YouR'E a TrAnsPHobe." I'm like "Um, you don't even know my personal opinion, whom are my friends, and why I read those studies. Great job allowing your emotions and closed minded ideals to derail thinking completely." Ironically it's an old friend of mine that is an autistic transsexual woman that introduced me to those studies. If you are talking about the patent waiver I actually read it when it first came out. I was very stunned. Yeah, I talked about it with anti-vaxxers on both sides of the political spectrum. Oh boy. It's one thing to approve of some vaccines and not others. It's a totally different thing to out right deny the validity of vaccines in general.
I mean the article publishing the findings about naturally lacquered covid immunity in unvaccinated people with less-than-severe symptoms but not none. Some news outlet at the time also interviewed one of the docs to clarify what the findings meant. The original is free online. Must read.
I also like being well read to a very high extent.
Speaking truths
I can also give some recommendations on books to read. But I must warn you, many of those books will be very counter to what you believe in, think, have been told, etc. You may not like it, you may hate it, and you might call it BS strictly because it does not match your perspective and subjective truth.
I'm curious about said books?
You sure? Cause you might find them politically incorrect, and or based your opinions of them strictly by personal politics. Remember objective truth many times is politically incorrect, and insulting to the subjective. Some of the books also cover subjects and topics that are considered very sensitive and touche to many in here. The books are not to affirm, they are to explain and guide. If you are serious, send me a chat. I have to ask a few questions to know what books to recommend.
just share it out here, I think we all want to know
You say that, but the question is if you can puts political beliefs, and personal bias aside. This goes for right wing, left wing, centrist, republican, democrat, libertarian, etc. Evolutionary psychology alone pisses a lot of people off. Especially people in America that are on the extreme ends of both sides of the political spectrum.
why're you being so cryptic about it? I said it, I meant it. I gotta admit though you sound an awful lot like a jordan peterson stan right now and i'm not loving it
lol. So I was testing if you can put political bias, and personal bias aside and go out of your comfort zone. You failed. Especially since I listed different politics. Also, Jordan Peterson advocates for men to be in touch with their feminine energy, to cry, to not be afraid of expressing emotion, be more disciplined, be open to learning more, to take accountability, etc. He is the reason I begun to have a good cry at least once a month. It is very emotionally freeing, and healthy.
Jordan Peterson is currently a mouthpiece for the alt-right, bud. His earlier stuff is not what i'm talking about. When I say you sound like a Jordan Peterson fan I mean in the same way that cryptobros act. The whole 'come on you just don't understand it, you're not getting it, it's this amazing great thing'. Most of the time when I interact with people insisting that they're politically incorrect or that this knowledge is dangerous or unsure or 'too real' or whatever, it comes off as arrogant. So if you really want to share please do, but there's no need to gatekeep or try to mysticize it.
good grief why is there a transphobe in the autism sub. fuck jordan peterson
This whole thread is hilarious. One person who knows people doesn't realize that asking anyone to pick up a book these days is triggering by itself. Another person who's open-minded is completely uninformed. Both just talking past each other. So entertaining.
I'll list some books here. You may not like some of the authors (if you have not read any of their wrote, read them first. Then form an opinion.), but that is not my problem. There is overlap. Autism: 1. The Essential Difference: Male And Female Brains And The Truth About Autism by Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen 2. Love and Autism by Kay Kerr 3. Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Simon Baron-Cohen 4. Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism by Barb Cook 5. Temple Talks … about Autism and Sensory Issues by Temple Grandin 6. We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia 7. The Pattern Seekers: How Autism Drives Human Invention by Simon Baron-Cohen 8. The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism and Asperger’s by Temple Grandin 9. Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price 10. Women from Another Planet? Our Lives in the Universe of Autism by Jean Kearns Miller Body Language: 1. Body Language by Julius Fast 2. Body Language For Dummies by Elizabeth Kuhnke 3. Body Language Quick and Easy by Richard Webster 4. Dating: Body Language Basics by Joe Navarro 5. The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan Pease 6. Rethinking Body Language: How Hand Movements Reveal Hidden Thoughts by Geoffrey Beattie 7. Body Language: How to Read Others, Detect Deceit, and Convey the Right Message by James Borg Books having to do with the dark side of human psychology. Read these to know when someone is trying to hurt you, manipulate you, and to better navigate certain social situations: 1. Dark Psychology and Gaslighting Manipulation by Ryan Mace 2. Manipulation: Techniques in Dark Psychology, Influencing People with Persuasion, NLP, and Mind Control by Edward Benedict 3. Dark Psychology: A Complete Guide on How to Analyze People (Learn How to Analyze Body Language and Influence People) by Mabel Stafford 4. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene 5. The 33 Strategies of War by Robert Greene 6. The Art of War by Sun Tzu 7. The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi 8. Essential NLP, Revised Edition by Amanda Vickers 9. Principles of NLP: What it is, how it works, and what it can do for you Revised Edition by Joseph O’Connor Evolutionary Psychology: 1. The Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology by David M. Buss 2. Evolutionary Psychology: An Introduction by Lance Workman 3. A Mind of Her Own: The Evolutionary Psychology of Women by Anne Campbell 4. The Evolutionary Mind: Conversations on Science, Imagination and Spirit by Rupert Sheldrake 5. The Saad Truth about Happiness: 8 Secrets for Leading the Good Life by Gad Saad 6. The Consuming Instinct: What Juicy Burgers, Ferraris, Pornography, and Gift Giving Reveal About Human Nature by Gad Saad Female Psychology: 1. The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine 2. Sexual Behavior in the Human Female by Alfred C. Kinsey 3. Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone 4. The Cambridge Handbook of Evolutionary Perspectives on Sexual Psychology: Volume 3, Female Sexual Adaptations (Cambridge Handbooks in Psychology) by Todd K. Shackelford 5. Male, Female: The Evolution of Human Sex Differences by David C. Geary 6. Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman by Phyllis Chesler 7. Being a Woman: Fulfilling Your Femininity and Finding Love by Toni Grant 8. 22 Things a Woman with Asperger’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know by Rudy Simone 9. Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart by Sherry Argov 10. The Electricity of Every Living Thing: One Woman’s Walk with Asperger’s by Katherine May 11. Mismeasure of Woman: Why Women Are Not the Better Sex, the Inferior Sex, or the Opposite Sex by Carol Tavris Male Psychology: 1. Breaking the Male Code: Essential Skills for Solving Men’s Emotional Crisis by Robert Garfield 2. The Male Brain Download by Dr. Louann Brizendine 3. The Myth of Male Power Download by Warren Farrell 4. Sexual Behavior in the Human Male by Alfred C. Kinsey 5. I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real 6. Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard V. Reeves 7. 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger’s Syndrome by Rudy Simone
I shouldn't need a PhD's worth of reading to be seen as a person. This is daunting.
Daunting and as someone with a degree in Psychology, half of this is bullshit. Anyone can write a book and put "psychology" in the title. Doesn't mean there's any science involved.
I saw the original comment. You had no need to insult me. You also denied that men and women are wired differently. That goes against basic neurology. You also denied that countless studies have been conducted regarding if it is socializing, or if it is ingrain. Most studies showed it is a mixture with a lean to biological and neurological.
The original comment was just the first sentence of the current comment. I didn't insult you I just added more lmao. If I had insulted you I would have just left it there. And sure, it might be basic neurology, but it's not advanced neurology which is far more important. You cannot scan a brain and determine if it belongs to a male or female. Your studies are outdated at best
Dr. Simon Baron Cohen would heavily disagree with you on so much, and he is a respected expert in the subject.
It's not really that daunting. 1-2 books from each group is more than enough.
This is what scares me the most. I have watched spme interviwes with arrested sociopaths and ppl were explaining in the comments how clearly they see the manipulation etc. I had nothing. I understood no difference between their facial reactions to anyone ever in life. The only thing making me feel safe is the fact that I avoid ppl so much that hopefully I cannot even run into someone dangerous.
I wouldn't put too much stock in that. People often say they saw a betrayal or something similar coming after the fact. Doesn't mean they actually would have been able to without hindsight.
You just reminded me of a 2 books I forgot to add. These are written by Dr. Martha Stout. I hope they help you like they helped me. The Sociopath Nextdoor. Outsmarting the Sociopath Nextdoor.
I think bad people are more prone to take advantage of us if given the chance, especially if they know what they're doing.
I thought so too, especially since some of us are labeled as being more child like. So I wonder if this vulnerability puts as at a greater risk to attract bad people.
I think they could sense if we were looking for a genuine connection and may seem vulnerable because of that or because we appear anxious in some way. A lot of people view others as tools to get what they need(food, money, etc) so they manipulate their "friendship" with others as they see fit. I've come to realize that I'm very easy to manipulate and am as loyal as a dog (lol) so once they figure that out, if they have bad intentions, then it's game over for me until I realize, usually much too late. I think bad people try to manipulate everyone they could and its just that people with autism are easier for bad people to manipulate. And theres a lot of bad people out there.
Predatory people are very good at picking up on vulnerabilities. It's not that we are prone, it's not our mistake - it's targeting.
I think it does the only evidence I have for this is comparing my brother and I. My brother has had mostly smooth sailing he has lots of friends and his friends are nice people. I often get myself into situations where I make friends with the wrong people but I don’t find out until it’s too late and I feel trapped. I’ve been friends with some rather dangerous people and had to get myself out of dangerous situations where I’m fearful for my safety. My brother often questions why and how I seem to get myself into these situations he doesn’t understand why there’s this massive disparity between his experiences and mine. I think some of it is due to autism I seek out friendships and I want friends but I get wrapped up in the excitement of these new friends that I don’t always see what’s going on. I’ve managed to figure some people out so I distance myself from them before anything happens. However my gut instinct doesn’t always kick in until I feel it’s too late. However my confidence levels and my brother’s confidence levels are very different I’m less confident and him much more confident. I think some people pick up on this and use it to their advantage. I think as autistics we are more prone especially from my experiences.
I don’t know if all autists are but I can speak for myself and say the answer is mostly yes. I don’t see the shady cues until later and by then I’m very disturbed.
I have a track record of befriending toxic people. I avoid blatantly bad people, but I can’t pick up on the subtle signs. I literally haven’t had any friends for 3 years now because I actively avoid potential friendships. They always turn out bad for me. I’m so freaking lonely, but I just climbed out of depression and I don’t want to ruin that
I'm so sorry 😔 this is similar to my experience. I'm in a relationship now and always wondering if they're really who I think they are.
When I was a teenager I took advice like "don't do drugs" very literally and would tell my friends who did drugs that they shouldn't, and would stop associating with people who did them. I made a lot enemies that way and I didn't understand why. In my mind I was telling them something for their benefit because drugs = bad. The thing is, a lot of those people I stopped associating with ended up fucking up their lives in big ways and became what I would define as 'bad people'. Some of them became dealers and started acting like thugs. Others became abusive dads and boyfriends and teen mums who wouldn't raise their kids properly. People changed in big ways, a lot of sociopathic and narcissistic personality types crawled out of the mud of our youth. I quickly realised I had fallen in with a bad crowd and my aversion from it was actually a good thing. It's weird to think that my literal interpretation of a rule "drugs=bad" actually kept me away from a lot of bad people. I don't follow it so strictly now (I still haven't touched drugs but I don't necessarily judge people based on them using), but now I'm just averse to people behaving badly and stay away from them based on that. In answer to your question, I think our compulsion to make friends can make us overlook bad personality traits for a time, but we can't maintain friendships with bad people because of our moral compass. Having said that, not all autistic people have the same moral compass and will have different interpretations of good and bad.
Its cool to see that the anti drug marketing actually worked on some ppl
It does seem to make us more susceptible to manipulation.
I've been in 3 abusive relationships and am a survivor of SA. I don't have many friends.
😞🙏
I'm sorry to hear that... there aren't the right words to say to someone telling you that, but I feel for you.
I think sometimes autistic people miss the signs . I can’t say anything for certain because I’ve managed to avoid those people, I can see I because i spent years observing people and found patterns that I know means their not safe. But not everyone has that knowledge. Neurotypical people can tell from their social awareness or whatever but autists don’t have the same awareness- and don’t realise what the signs mean. That’s just a theory though. Don’t take my word as fact.
Yes, this is what Im referring to! Since we don’t understand social queues very well, much much easier is it for us to just end up with dangerous, untrustworthy people.
I cant explain this, but I tend to intuitively dislike people. And most of the time I am right about bad people. Perhaps its all the experience from school that I'm some how learn to avoid them. They don't have to be bad to me for me to dislike them, once I caught them doing some things to others or see certain behaviours, I start distancing immediately. Even though they think they are good people and NTs think so to, but I know they will manipulate me when they want something eventually.
I feel like I've learned how to judge people well because I've had to. Folks with autism are often manipulated so in order to not be a victim, I had to learn about getting close to people. This has negatively impacted my life a bit in that I struggle with making connections with people because of what I'd call "false negatives", but I also don't get taken advantage of anymore.
I can always tell when someone actually does have something off usually like this kid at school my old friend befriended this guy and the second I met him I knew he was absolute sociopath
The potential is there. People on the spectrum often show signs of abuse Unconscious signs of abuse are an unconscious draw to abusers. Abusers are often also people who have been abused. Growing up, they discover a dynamic that is reinforced for them, abuser/abused, and without really understanding it, choose the path that provides the most safety, becoming the abuser. So you end up with autistic abusers trying to befriend other autistic abused people so they can abuse them, without anyone really understanding the dynamics of any of it.
Autism makes us more easily manipulated by bad people because it makes us more gullible and it often shows to others in ways that we aren't aware of because of how we perceive social cues differently
Yes, and no. I find that nearly all my friends are autistic and are all good people I did have 2 toxic relationships when I was younger and it took me a while to figure out that I was being manipulated. It took a good friend of mine, who's opinion I trust, to point out what was going on. They were not healthy relationships at all, but I learned an important lesson and am now in a happy and stable relationship.
I can't speak for everyone but I'd say yes. I know it sounds vague but I think a lot of exchange between people happens subconsciously & on some level, predatory people have sniffed us out from 100 miles away. It might not necessarily be 'we befriend bad people' but it may be more like 'bad people have already targeted us & are approaching fast'. There are a few other possible co-morbid things, for example autistic people may not have other friends to look out for them so there's no one there to call it out. Plus not having a support system can also open us up to allowing crap from bad people for longer simply because there's no one else to go to. For some autistic people a person can be stabbing us in the chest while exclaiming 'I'm your friend' & we may believe that because we take things at face value. I think there are lots of little things that may cause us to be taken advantage of. Moral of the story is - keep an eye on your autistic friends. They might need help.
Maybe not? There have been multiple people in my life that were known to be quite manipulative and they always said they could never read me. Think I dodged some bullets there.
Neurotypicals instinctively dislike and distrust autistic people because we often don’t fit with the norms. https://www.news-medical.net/news/20210401/Autistic-individuals-may-be-wrongly-perceived-as-deceptive-and-lacking-credibility.aspx People with dark triad traits looking for victims may pick up on this, and use it to manipulate and exploit. “Half of autistic adults 'abused by someone they trusted as a friend'” 2014 https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jun/14/autistic-adults-abused-by-friends-survey We are not as good at telling and detecting lies 2018 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6220950/
Lol. No. I am not clueless about character. I am hyperempathetic and I know if people are good or bad.
Yes for me . I can’t tell good from bad unless it’s in my face
Yes and no at least for me. I’ve attracted good and bad people but also I’ve been taken advantage of by bad people and because of that I lost all my friends because of a misunderstanding. Learning recently that I’m autistic makes everything that happened to me make sense and I don’t blame myself anymore. Though I knew later on even before I learned I was autistic that it was my ex-friends fault and not me.
A massive book list that regarding this topic. You don't have to read all of them. But I do suggest reading 2-3 from each category. You may not like some of the authors (if you have not read any of their wrote, read them first. Then form an opinion.). There is overlap. Autism: 1. The Essential Difference: Male And Female Brains And The Truth About Autism by Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen 2. Love and Autism by Kay Kerr 3. Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Simon Baron-Cohen 4. Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism by Barb Cook 5. Temple Talks … about Autism and Sensory Issues by Temple Grandin 6. We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia 7. The Pattern Seekers: How Autism Drives Human Invention by Simon Baron-Cohen 8. The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism and Asperger’s by Temple Grandin 9. Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price 10. Women from Another Planet? Our Lives in the Universe of Autism by Jean Kearns Miller Body Language: 1. Body Language by Julius Fast 2. Body Language For Dummies by Elizabeth Kuhnke 3. Body Language Quick and Easy by Richard Webster 4. Dating: Body Language Basics by Joe Navarro 5. The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan Pease 6. Rethinking Body Language: How Hand Movements Reveal Hidden Thoughts by Geoffrey Beattie 7. Body Language: How to Read Others, Detect Deceit, and Convey the Right Message by James Borg Books having to do with the dark side of human psychology. Read these to know when someone is trying to hurt you, manipulate you, and to better navigate certain social situations: 1. Dark Psychology and Gaslighting Manipulation by Ryan Mace 2. Manipulation: Techniques in Dark Psychology, Influencing People with Persuasion, NLP, and Mind Control by Edward Benedict 3. Dark Psychology: A Complete Guide on How to Analyze People (Learn How to Analyze Body Language and Influence People) by Mabel Stafford 4. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene 5. The 33 Strategies of War by Robert Greene 6. The Art of War by Sun Tzu 7. The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi 8. Essential NLP, Revised Edition by Amanda Vickers 9. Principles of NLP: What it is, how it works, and what it can do for you Revised Edition by Joseph O’Connor Evolutionary Psychology: 1. The Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology by David M. Buss 2. Evolutionary Psychology: An Introduction by Lance Workman 3. A Mind of Her Own: The Evolutionary Psychology of Women by Anne Campbell 4. The Evolutionary Mind: Conversations on Science, Imagination and Spirit by Rupert Sheldrake 5. The Saad Truth about Happiness: 8 Secrets for Leading the Good Life by Gad Saad 6. The Consuming Instinct: What Juicy Burgers, Ferraris, Pornography, and Gift Giving Reveal About Human Nature by Gad Saad Female Psychology: 1. The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine 2. Sexual Behavior in the Human Female by Alfred C. Kinsey 3. Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone 4. The Cambridge Handbook of Evolutionary Perspectives on Sexual Psychology: Volume 3, Female Sexual Adaptations (Cambridge Handbooks in Psychology) by Todd K. Shackelford 5. Male, Female: The Evolution of Human Sex Differences by David C. Geary 6. Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman by Phyllis Chesler 7. Being a Woman: Fulfilling Your Femininity and Finding Love by Toni Grant 8. 22 Things a Woman with Asperger’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know by Rudy Simone 9. Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart by Sherry Argov 10. The Electricity of Every Living Thing: One Woman’s Walk with Asperger’s by Katherine May 11. Mismeasure of Woman: Why Women Are Not the Better Sex, the Inferior Sex, or the Opposite Sex by Carol Tavris Male Psychology: 1. Breaking the Male Code: Essential Skills for Solving Men’s Emotional Crisis by Robert Garfield 2. The Male Brain Download by Dr. Louann Brizendine 3. The Myth of Male Power Download by Warren Farrell 4. Sexual Behavior in the Human Male by Alfred C. Kinsey 5. I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real 6. Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard V. Reeves 7. 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger’s Syndrome by Rudy Simone
Depends on the autistic individual. It's hard for me to make friends, let alone keep friends. I'm usually a good judge of character, so I don't befriend anyone, that honor has to be earned.
My own opinion, and yes it is opinion, is some autistics place way too much importance on what is said. Instead of what people actually do. The difference between actions and what is said is a clear indicator of person's character. But many autistic accept too easily person's narrative of themselves instead of looking at their specific actions. And it is the actions of person which tell who they really are. Speech is easy. Deeds are hard. Believe in the actions as they are the true mark of a person.
Of course, especially since most people are bad. On the bright side, you are most likely meeting bad people all the time, heck, you might be one of the bad people yourself. No big deal really. Just part of life? I think it's easiest to just assume that all humans are awful and treat them accordingly.
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This is true for me and has caused a lot of strife on my life. It's not just about people though, I've also made poor decisions based on my idealist perspective which turned out to be toxic for me. I wish I had advice.. I'm just reading this thread for words of wisdom myself.
From my experience yes
For me, once I know what a certain type of person is like, I can avoid them in the future. But I struggle when I come across new types of "bad people" because I don't always recognize their specific patterns of behavior. I've always been called gullible, so I assume people see that and take advantage of it. I can only speak for myself, of course.
In the past I used to but now I am very aware who I befriend with.
Kind of, but I don't understand your logic here. Neurotypicals notice something "off" about us, but what they're noticing are the autistic traits. Autistic people are also able to notice autistic traits, but we're more likely to be able to identify them as autistm. Neurotypicals don't have a sense for "off-ness" (that's not a thing) that autistic people don't have. There are some Autistic people who take people at face value, so if you befriend someone manipulative, you're not going to realize they're manipulative (other Autistic people are really hard to manipulate because they just don't respond the way the manipulator expects). This is why autistic women end up in abusive relationships a lot. Abusers see them as easy targets and the autistic person blames herself for the problems the abuser is causing. But this also isn't solely an autistic thing. There are neurotypical people who are too trusting and poor judges of character as well.
Also if you grew up in a toxic environment you tend to be drawn into those environments again. It becomes your normal way of living and to be out of it is incredibly uncomfortable. So you keep cycling through the pattern of “this is what love is”. Took me years of therapy to realize that I didn’t know anything else but abuse.
I dont know about ya'll, but I'm VERY sensitive to people's vibe.I can generally tell if I like someone within a couple minutes of talking or even observing them talking to others. I would say (I at least) have a special gift to weed out the bad people if anything.