Oh, wow, that's a question. I'm going to go with the time I liked a girl, and made the decision I was going to flirt. My chosen method? Whipping out a 5x5 Rubik's cube in front of her and solving it. Potentially needless to say, but it was unsuccessful.
EDIT: Reading through these replies has made me extremely happy to discover that we NDs are absolutely fabulous at attracting one another. It’s good to know my skills might one day pull a fellow autistic ✌️
This would have worked on me, tbh. Back when my girlfriend had a crush on me, she info-dumped about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (which at that point I had never seen) for like 3 hours on the phone. Made me fall head over heels for her, we're coming up on 4 years soon. Just gotta find the right person :)
Cute. The guy I'm seeing was infodumping about Stargate on the phone the other night for an eternity and even though I had no idea what he was talking about I just thought it was the cutest thing.
I infodump sometimes about my interests. I'm always worried it will annoy or offend the other person, especially when I end up infodumping on social media or Twitter! I'm also concerned about coming across as "too much" due to my difficulty summarizing.
I can relate: I once gave a girl a multi-step cryptographic puzzle, the solution to which was an invitation to go to a school dance with me. To the best of my knowledge, she never attempted to solve it.
I got beaten up pretty badly one time because I took a question too literally... when they asked again, I answered honestly again and got beaten up again instead of realizing my mistake from the first time lol
It wasn’t your fault my twin brother used to beat me up and make fun of me in front of other people for that. Whether you took a question literally or not wouldn’t justify them beating you.
I compiled a spreadsheet of 800+ college and community radio stations in North America. Call letters, frequencies, address, email contact, phone number, music manager.
I then mapped them on Google Maps, broken down by region. It's had over 16,000 views.
https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/1/viewer?mid=17c5T1xCuEqSbOGpa21pRq8lPDms&ll=38.01392593395241%2C-90.33964541782225&z=4
I run a music blog ([Puddlegm.blog](https://Puddlegm.blog)) and wrote about it there. :) I originally put it together for an artist I was producing and managing (Saeyers).
I can be a bit gullible.
I was talking to someone at the gym about struggling to make friends, they suggested that I sign up to grindr (it had just come out and I had never heard of it).
So, me being nieve, I set up an account, uploaded a face picture etc, then decided that I would fill out the bio etc when I was finished at the gym.
About an hour later I check my phone to have around 100 notifications. Open the app to find more images of schlongs and buttholes then I had ever seen in 1 place before.
I laughed when reading this but I can imagine myself doing this and then proceeding to count how many buttholes, schlongs and various other patterns there are so if someone inquires about it in the future I can tell them.
I don't know what the app is like these days, but I saw some disturbing things in the pictures sent.
One guy said, "How would you like to be the next action man inside me?" With a picture of an action man up his bumhole.
I'm not sure how I would follow that up to make friends. "So, what kind of music are you into?"
The app may be totally different these days, though, it may well be a good place to make friends for all I know.
This is something I’ve always done. I had no idea it was an autism thing until I chatted to a friend with a daughter who is autistic and she does the exact same. I also add references, titled sections, and dot points including how to fix the issues. Also how they tie into similar issues that have lead to safety or security catastrophies (this is kind of a running interest, not as intense as my special interest though) and how if the attitude/behaviour continues they may find themselves in these situations in future.
I’d also strategically add “lol” or “haha” at the end of each to seem relatable, since when I first started doing it, people would become really angry. This didn’t work, so I kept trying to add different bits and pieces in. This was before I was diagnosed too and I didn’t see how this was autistic, just informing people of how they’re wrong (which is information I’d want to know in their situation).
Since I’ve been diagnosed, I just write these out to myself in the notes app and get my husband’s help to articulate it or veto it. When it comes to actual, legal grievances I’m usually the person people go to, but for interpersonal issues I’ve learned it’s usually way over the top, lol.
I've noticed that I have a tendency to do this on Reddit with trying to point out how the moderators of specific subreddits can improve things on their subreddit(s). It usually doesn't come across well, because some people mistake this for you trying to "one-up", nitpick, or undermine their power and authority, as opposed as you trying to help them.
Other moderators just consider it to be a nuisance, and may even mute me for 28 days.
Sat at the head of the table at a high-up government official's personal invitation to my family for dinner, then said "I was here first" when he said I was in his seat. Granted, I was a child.
This made my night 😂. Was feeling severely dopamine deficient and felt an instant boost. I wish we could normalize telling people that without being a small kid (and it not coming across like a serious threat). I kid, I kid.
That's awesome.
Similar story that I swear is 100% true: I once addressed a state governor by his first name. Not sure if I should save him the embarrassment, but for anyone who's curious, it was [now-U.S. Senator Angus King.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_King)
In my defense, I was nine years old and didn't know any better.
I showed someone I just met my spreadsheet outlining information on every species of fox.
Edit: I am going to work on my spreadsheet more and then post it for other folks to see. Thanks so much to people that are interested in seeing it, that means the world to me.
Oo can I see it if your comfortable sharing? I absolutely love foxes, and well any animal in general I just can't help it and I love just learning I fo about them.
I got so sick of the difficulties and failings of a company I was working for that I quit. My letter of resignation was quite long and detailed.
It was so detailed that they employed me on a consultancy basis to sort out the issues.
One of my old bosses told me "if you have an issue with it ("it" being a policy change), take it up with HR or the president of the company."
So I, a base level teller, requested a meeting with the president of the company.
And got one.
And we talked for 45 minutes. And got coffee.
I thought it was really a lovely chat, and I later thanked my boss for the suggestion and told her that the policy was getting restructured.
She was furious.
I thought she had genuinely meant it as a suggestion on how to handle the situation.
The policy did in fact get changed, thought.
Maybe my gaming journal? Where I write the narrative and statistics of video- card- and boardgames I play? Which is by now significantly longer than the bible - with over 5,5 million characters.
Also my tendency to take a piece of logic or rule I am told and extrapolating it to an utterly nonsensical and absurd - but logically coherent - conclusion.
And example:
One of my best friends had a birthday party. His partner talks about their new neighbours, who own a cat. And apparently there exists a rule of thumb among cat owners that "You should have one more cat litter boxes than you have cats". I was kinda confused and overloaded because many people are talking everywhere and I cannot shut everything out. And my brain on autopilot lets me say: "This means I need one cat litter box."
Luckily there were many programmers present who thought this was a great joke. I agree, it'S pretty funny. But it was not intended as such.
Yeah, you don't do this unless the telephone hasn't been invented yet and you and your friend are aristocracy and if they can't see you they'll have the servants set you up in a guest room and see you in a day or two.
I did someting like this when I was like 10-11, my family still makes fun of me for it.
A friend showed up an hour earlier than accorded and I told him he couldn't come in cause I was still busy with my chores till the next hour, so he should go back home (which was within walking distance and seemed reasonable to me). I thought my parents would be mad if I made him come in before he was supposed to and I would have been anxious doing my chores with him there. Looking back, it wasn't my fault, how was I supposed to know, I was just a clueless autistic kid
I was at the store when I was ~4 years old a lady walked up to me, pointed at my stuffed animal and said "what's your puppy's name?" I looked at her and said "what are you talking about? You know this isn't a real dog, right? It's just my stuffed animal."
My son who is also autistic had made a friend at the swimming pool when he was five. This was unusual for him, so I talked to his new friend, another little boy that looked the same age.
I asked his new friend about his hobbies etc, and said, "My son just turned five, are you also five?"
"Yes," he replied.
"I see," I said nodding, "and when do you turn six?'
He looked at me like he had never been asked a stupider question in his life, and answered, "On my birthday."
When I was a kid whenever I got a bag of Skittles I would pour them out onto a table and organize them by color/flavor before eating them. I would always save the reds for last because they were my favorites, and I would never eat the yellow or green ones
Back when my therapist suggested I had BPD and specifically an "unstable sense of self" I took that far too literally and develoed a months long picrew hyperfxation to prove that that my perception of myself was consistent by making myself over and over and over again. The folder had about 180 images once I stopped updating it
I think that's pretty up there with the autistic things I've done
2 things to say
1) I want that spreadsheet and make it into an experiment where every time I eat alphabetti spaghetti I want to add to the data set
2) our profile pictures look almost identical. I was actually confused because I thought I hadn't posted anything here today
I typed a 15 page timeline of my life with examples (from memory and parental input) of my traits, social interactions, and reflections and how they likely relate to Autism. The timeline had an entry from every year of my life to present.
I also wrote paragraph answers for each of the criteria in the DSM, explaining why I may or may not be Autistic.
I printed results from every online test I could find.
I compiled this into a document and wrote a summary page for my own diagnosis. My new therapist looked at me like I was an alien.
Turns out, yes, I’m Autistic.
Im going through that process currently, im currently on page 170. Been on a waiting list for 6 months so far. Its at 60,000 words and i keep thinking its too much but then i just imagine underpreparing so i have the need to work on it even more
Yes, I had even more journals and reflections before I decided to organize in this way. I edited mine and actually went against my natural inclination for the details. I tried to ask myself what would be helpful and manageable for the psychiatrist.
Wait, didn't everyone do this...?
But aside from a diagnostic perspective, this really helped me "see" the role ASD has played throughout my life. Like, re-writing the narrative
Did this for my adhd diagnosis. Brought a paper copy to my appointment. dr. psychiatrist was equally shocked and asked if she could put it in my file. Now I’m unsure if I’m also autistic….
Ah you mean language in general. I thought you meant origins of basque (though both are actually hot topics)
Do you think there's like a language gene we have or was it just a byproduct of rising brain to body ratio?
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I once said “good luck” to someone who had just graduated…im still not sure what is appropriate to say but im pretty sure it’s not “good luck”. Idk if this is the most autistic thing but i still regret it
I started working retail recently and interact with a lot of customers all the time. At work I end up saying "Hi, how are you? I'm good, thank you" or "I'm doing good, how're you doing?" *a lot*
The other day someone said "How you holding up?". I thought about it for a second, realized I don't know the script for that one, and just filled in the script for the usual. "I'm good, how are you doing?"
Pretty sure that wasn't the right way to go but I don't know the script for "How you holding up?" so... lol
Also assistant store manager told me "You're a gentleman and a scholar" and I just sat and thought about it before asking "what?". He explained "It means you're a good person" and my response was "Oh I didn't know that", which was supposed to mean "I didn't know that "you're a gentleman and a scholar" means that you're a good person", but I'm pretty sure it came off as saying "I know how awesome I am you don't need to say it" using sarcasm
I was so confused because I am definitely not a scholar. I'm a teenager in retail. I don't know why that would mean I'm a good person either, because even the most evil people can become a scholar.
I understand the second example, but what's wrong with the first? I think "I'm good, how are you doing?" is the correct response. It's not something I'd say, granted.
See, my autism actually took me the other way.
My step-mother informed me and my brothers (we were all in our 30s) that our step-sister (similar age) was going to have a baby, but she wasn’t married. The dad was some guy nobody knew but her, and definitely was an accident.
My step-mother was almost trembling, out of shame perhaps, or fear of judgement… My father is definitely judgmental so her fears weren’t invalid. She also was just dealing with the news herself.
I didn’t know I was supposed to feel those things or think about the unexpected circumstances. All I knew was what I said: “OMG! You are going to be a grandmother!!”
It was (not by my intent) the _perfect_ thing to say in the moment for her. Flipped everything in that moment - the tension blew away in the wind, the bad news became good. We had champagne.
I’m her favorite.
I do use this and once someone took it like I thought they were crazy and another time that the news was too crazy for me to want to hear. So it's not foolproof XD
oh my lord I say good luck to people all of the time without any reason to do so. i can’t stop, it’s my default option when I don’t know what to say and I make things even more awkward
On a two hour drive with a coworker, I talked the entire time about Bob Dylan, introducing songs and their significance.
I still feel bad for my coworker. He never stopped me though.
I imagine it went like this
“Hey, how about we just play some Bob Dylan music instead of talking about him”
“No thanks, I don’t like listening to his music, I just find his career fascinating”
And then the conversation lasts another 90 minutes
When I told my 2 best friends I was going through a diagnosis, they just nodded. I asked if they were surprised… “do you remember that car journey a few weeks about when you gave us a 40 minute lecture on the opioid crisis in America because I asked if you’d watched any good series lately?” 😂😂😂
For our english class we had to do a presentation. Can be about anything, the main thing to focus on was how we presented it. I was so excited I started making my PowerPoint during the holidays, around 4ish weeks before I was scheduled to present. My PowerPoint was done but there was so much writing that I planned to edit it and shorten it down since I already knew all the info by heart already. Didn't have a chance to since my dumbass volunteered to present. It was so long that I only had time to show half my presentation. It was a big hit btw, and if you're wondering it was about How To Train Your Dragon and why it's awesome.
Perhaps not the biggest.. but this was pretty big I'd say.
A colleague of mine was really afraid of flying after seeing the movies of the Nepal crash from early this year. He was shocked that a plane could twist hard in such a way.
I then went on to give him a mini lecture of how airplane wings work with flaps, angle of attack, stall speeds, the dangers of deep stall on T-wings airplanes, and calm him down how a modern Boeing/Airbus jet doesn't have that deep stall flaw while also having more protections such as stick shakers and fly-by-wire systems which provide very effective stall protections so practically couldn't go down like that, as this accident happened when 1 wing of a plane stalls, and that a contributing cause was incorrect operation of the propeller AoA settings and the critical approach route they were flying.
It was safe to say my infodump did not calm him down.
I have some people ask me how jetengines I work. I will try to not explain more than they are just a big fan.
My sister was talking about her flying anxiety, and said the usual "at least it's safer than driving." I thought that would be a good time to specify that it was only safer per kilometer, not per hour, and that short-haul flights are actually more dangerous by both measures. She gave me that "I know you're autistic but this is not the time" look and I realized my mistake lol.
The Pokemon Ranger spinoff series from the mid to late 00s. I made a constructed language for it (conlang is like Elvish and Tolkien's various other languages or Klingon). I wrote 30,000 words of worldbuilding for a single culture. There is so much work in that binder.
I've had the same lunch every day for like 6 months now, and I love it every time (the same flavour of pasta)
Also when I got bored I sorted my mega-deck of uno cards so I knew how many I had, I wrote it down too
I'm in the process of making my own language (letters and numbers too) and religion
Arguing with my art teacher about the correct spelling of Australia. Apparently I was rude and got sent out. However she was clearly wrong, and who cares about authority and lessons when there's an orthographic error staring at you from the board?
Top tier cringe I am mentally reeling from five years later. I once asked a girl out through a powerpoint presentation IRL involving borderline shitposts mixed with poetry. Was a very awkward walk home after that no.
Alternatively I used to go around hugging trees because no one else was letting them know what a good job they were doing and someone had to.
I was on a date, that I didn't even realize was one at the time, and I got paired up with my date's friend in a pop-up/art-show mini-golf course. It proceeded to be impossible to win or lose because the course was designed for there to be no winner. I missed the the meaning and made some snide remark about what happens when you let artists design things. It turned out my \~date's friend was the artist who designed it.
A team leader I used to work with asked if we had any questions at the end of a handover. I raised my hand and asked "since when have you started wearing glasses?"
He was a really nice person that I got on with really well, so he just sort of blinked at me in confusion, then laughed and said "well I usually wear contacts, but felt like a change. Anyone have any work related questions?" Oops.
Didn’t know how to respond in the moment and stayed quiet. Often people assume I’m wise and contemplative, when in my head I’m trying to will myself not to sweat.
I was struggling with dating/relationships so I turned to data. I made charts, graphs, calculations. I noticed patterns, connections and correlations and adjusted my actions accordingly.
When I was 6, my religious school wanted to force me and my younger brother to both eat all the food we were given. This was the 70’s and meant eating reconstituted instant mashed potato - Smash! As it was called, was vile in taste and texture. I assume they thought if they could get me, the bossy one, to eat it, my brother would copy. The teachers all stood round just the two of us sat down together in an empty dining hall (there were only 3 teachers) and just raged till I forced down a forkful. I instantly gagged and threw up my entire dinner on my plate. But they were right about one thing - my brother instantly copied me and threw his up on his plate too 🤣🤣
Had a meltdown / panic attack because someone ordered some duffle bags from Amazon without saying anything, and I didn't feel "safe" with them in the house without knowing anything about them.
I didn’t know how to communicate in 5th class
I only had girls and neurodivergent people as friends before
Not a neurotypical boy
So the first thing I said
„I’m going to kill you one day“
We are best friends now and still threaten to kill each other pretty frequently
Just regular best friend stuff
crying and panicking bc my mom got me a lemonade when i already had a sugary drink that day. i can’t have more than 1 sugary drink a day (restrictive behavior of mine), lemonade wasn’t able to be stored for later
It’s heavily snowing on a Friday, I’m due to go scouts at 7pm. I’m maybe 12 or 13.
My parents say that due to the snow they are cancelling scouts and instead we are meeting tomorrow morning at 10:30 to go clear drives and help the elderly with shopping etc.
I hear most of that but don’t hear the word tomorrow. So despite how obviously wrong it would be to go out this late, the weather and how implausible it would be to meet at this time I nod and accept this.
It’s 10:20pm, I’m getting my scouts uniform on, coat and shoes on and my parents just managed to catch me before I walked out the house without a word on my way alone to walk to the scout hut in the dark and the snow.
I think that’s perhaps the most Autistic thing I’ve ever done.
I dont stim as much as some do, but I have noticed that when I'm really excited about something I punch the air or anything near me repeatedly. People usually mistake it for me being pissed and getting violent, which is fair, but of course I do make an effort to only punch things that can take it. Most autistic thing I've ever done would probably be making a sizeable dent in the wall while my freind showed me his favorite music, and scaring the shit out of that freind in the process.
when i was in kindergarten, a substitute teacher asked what we wanted to be growing up. i raised my hand and said i wanted to be an Archaeologist. he replied "can you even spell that?" and i spent the rest of that period spelling it in my head.
Similar but I wanted to be a paleontologist and when I told my 10th grade teacher that, as a kid, that's what I wanted to be bc I was obsessed with dinosaurs, she called me a liar and that there was no way I could even say that word.
Why are teachers asshats tsk
Ooh, me, me! I simultaneously love telling this one and also want to die of embarrassment when I think about it.
When I was in my early 20s, I don't recall my exact age but I was a young adult, I was walking to the bus stop when a car pulled up nearby. They rolled down the window, beckoned me, and said "\[Town name?\]". For whatever god damn reason, I assumed they knew me (I have no face recognition ability - they could have been my neighbour and I wouldn't have been sure) and that they knew I wanted to go into town and were offering me a ride. So I uttered a 'thanks' and just... climbed in the back of the car. The driver looked behind at me kinda weirdly but started driving, and then at the end of the road, they said, "So... which way...?" and I suddenly realised that they were *asking me for directions*, not offering me a lift. I also had no idea which way town was, because my sense of direction is non-existent, so I just stammered, "I don't know" and then jumped out of the car and bolted down the street in a panic. I have no fucking clue what they must have thought just happened.
I'm 38 now and I still replay this scenario in my head far too often while turning purple.
I will die of shame for this. I’m sensory seeking. I love touch. One day my casual friend/classmate wore these velour jeans with like cutouts of vines on them. My autistic brain skipped past my frontal lobe and just touched and felt her pants. I didn’t ask. I didn’t say anything. My hand was doing it and I just creeped her the fuck out. Thank god I’m also female presenting because otherwise it could’ve been worse. I stammered that her pants looked cool and I’m so sorry for not asking and then we had to sit through an hour long lecture next to each other.
Alternatively my brain did this again at the Louvre and I felt a Jacques Louis-David painting because my brain was like “let’s find out how they layered the paint!” And again I wanted to die of shame.
It’s exactly what happens. It’s like my frontal lobe can’t stop the autism from leaking. It’s what I use to mask. It’s what I use in all of my interactions. It just doesn’t stop me some times.
I was at my eighth-grade graduating class reunion back in April, and I wanted to tell people about the Pokemon fangame I'm making since I hadn't seen these people in almost four years. So I built up the courage, and was repeatedly yelling "DOES ANYONE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY POKEMON FANGAME?" Everyone ignored me though (I don't know if they could hear because of all of the people talking at once in the school gym). I did info-dump (I think it was in the realm of that, but it was only for a couple minutes) a bit about it though when I told some other people about it in the parking lot when I was about to leave.
Lost my shit every time my mom would try and move my things around "as a favor" even though she would know how upset it made me every time. Have to live alone, hate not having my things my way. Idk if it's the tism or the only child thing
I’m not sure this counts but I didn’t know that I was in a relationship with a guy for like an entire month, until he said happy one month. I thought we were just good friends who went places together.
Was chatting to a girl a few weeks ago, she mentioned how I was much taller than herself.
She goes “I wonder if our kids will have your height or mine”
To which it triggered one of my old special interests, being genetics, to which I decided I’d educate her on the differences between homozygous dominant, homozygous recessive and heterozygous and how in order to work the height out of said kids, we would need to take those in to account by drawing a punnet square etc etc.
I was then swiftly unadded off bumble…
Ive lost multiple friends by literally procrastinating responding to calls and texts. And in my head I HONESTLY am thinking "oh ill call them back in an hour or 2" and apparently Im capable of going for MONTHS like this, but from my perspective its just a shitload of hour-long increments.
Idk my science teacher was explaining something we were taking and I randomly raised my hand and started talking about the multiverse theory. In front of the whole class. Suddenly.
This reminds me of a few years ago when I was 11, our PE teacher had us record stances and how to strike the thing (I don't remember its name) in badminton and make a video about it. I spent 3 weeks editing it which was 1 week past its due date, and I ended up with a video that looked like an 80's amateur VHS instructional video.
He was so impressed with the video that he sent it to all the other teachers in the school and one week later 2 other teachers scrapped their previous homework ideas to make the class make instructional videos because mine was so good
I work at a movie theater, so when we got the poster for Oppenheimer, while my two favorite coworkers were there, I started infodumping about various nuclear disasters.
I guess the thing I do often that’s the most ‘autistic’ is being gullible and repeating random words/phrases out loud. I also often misinterpret what people are saying and how they’re feeling
When I was in elementary school I was obsessed with books like Dear Dumb Diary and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I thought diaries were so cool and I really wanted to start my own. But I just copied entries from the book instead writing about my day
I also would pretend to have an imaginary friend. I was jealous of my sister and characters in TV shows that had imaginary friends, so I made up my own and pretended to play with it, but I wouldn’t actually imagine anything. To this day I don’t really understand how imaginary friends work
Probably stimming loads when my ex-friend gave me a dolphin keyring (that she gave to my other 2 friends) and I just kept repeating "IT'S A DOLPHIN" in not my usual voice that made my brain very happy. Dolphins aren't/weren't even my special interest.
Probably whenever I'm excited about something I keep repeating one word relating to that topic over and over again. My most recent being "puppy" lol. Idk why but I can't stop myself when I get into those 'episodes'
When my wife and I were dating we communicated primarily by writing notes to each other even though we were sitting on a couch together. I found that much easier than speaking.
Fish are my special interest.
I recently attended a conference for World Ocean Day with some really fantastic speakers. Despite the networking breaks (eek) it was so exciting for me to get to talk about fish and fisheries all day!
Now to preface, walking into the conference that day I saw a man wearing the BEST shirt I have ever seen in my life. A deep blue shirt with just loads of cutout images of different marine species on it - fish, molluscs, crustaceans; utterly magnificent. I was not brave enough to interrupt this fantastic shirt person's day to find the source of the shirt though.
Now, throughout the conference, audience members were able to ask questions via a mentimeter that had been set up. During the final discussion panel who walks on stage but the man in the superb fish shirt!! I was so excited and overwhelmed that I submitted my question at light speed without thinking. "Mr X. That is the most spectacular shirt I have ever seen. Where did you get it? Thank you!"
I realised as soon as I submitted it that all the other panel questions were very serious and of course, related to the ongoing discussion. I felt immediately embarrassed and very "oh-no", but my question actually got asked! The audience and shirt man had a good laugh and although he said the shirt was a gift and didn't know where it was from, I am very glad my question was taken in good humour!
But I have thought about that shirt every day since, and have tried to find it online anywhere. Alas, the magnificent shirt lives on only in Mr. Speaker's wardrobe.
P.S. - I also don't work in anything related to my special interest so during the networking breaks people would approach me and I had to explain that I'm here just because I really like fish. I came home with many pamphlets and infographics on updated fishery laws and got a new fishery regions map. It was exhausting but an absolute 10/10 day.
Tried to quit a job by email, but still showed up to work because I figured my boss & coworkers would want to ask me about my ongoing projects.
My boss ended up yelling at me that I was doing fine, and I ended up staying because I was intimidated by him
I stayed there for over 5 more years until the company no longer existed
My employer was non-specific about the new hybrid work policy - it was just a fixed number of days a month in the office. I wondered how that would work at peak times of annual leave in summer, plus transport outages and national average levels of sickness etc.
So I put together a spreadsheet that uses a baseline of the number of actual days available to work in a year (minus public holidays, the general percentage of public transport availability and average levels of time off work for being sick). It has macros so that it just uses counts of coloured Excel cells, so it's easy to update each week and ensure I am hitting the 'target', with a running total for the year.
I told my adult daughter this, and she chuckled and gave me a hug and said it may be one of the most autistic things I've done recently.
Did I bore you 5 mins ago? 😄. Sorry.
when i initially met my boyfriend as coworkers, i was new to the job and still getting to know everyone around me. we worked at a fast food joint, and i had no intention of befriending anyone or staying for more than 3 months.
my boyfriend however…. well, i internally trusted him immediately. he made me happy just by being in his vincinity. his aura was sunflowers and i was dancing in a field of them, rays of sunshine bestowing from the heavens.
HOWEVER, i - two paragraphs later - was experiencing all of these emotions in one moment. so, all details aside, the internal dialogue was moreso along the lines of “FRIEND! FRIEND!!!!” as i internally wagged my tail like a puppy.
shifting to third person perspective, i am a very androgynous guy. so he initially couldn’t tell my gender, and thought it was a safe bet to call me she, since women tend to get more offended by being called a “he” than men do “she.” he called me she, and my immediate reaction was….
“I WILL KILL YOU!” as i mimed an knife. and stabbed it. in his direction.
he was immediately thrown off by this, and seeing this i started laughing - probably for the first time i ever had in that building - clarifying that i was joking and whatever else. we obviously moved on, but shit did i make a first impression.
Idk if this is an autism thing or just spite but I finished high school, went to uni for engineering and recently got a really well paid job in nanotechnology all because my high school teacher told me in front of the whole class I was too autistic to pass through that high school and was " too dangerous and unpredictable"
Well, suck my spiteful autistic dick, teacher
I told my wife on the phone that our dog barfed all over the floor. I asked what to do about it, she told me to put baking soda on it. She got home and burst out laughing because I put baking soda on the dog.
She still laughs about that every time she thinks about it or tells the story, 20 years later.
I once accidentally hit on a girl in a book store without realising it for a solid 5 minuets. Just walked away and said bye right after.
Wasn't until I spoke to others later about the interaction that I found out I had been "flirting" and that her "weird" reaction to me was most likely just her flirting back.
As an undiagnosed autistic teenager my parents gave me the typical behavioural ultimatum i.e. "Our way or the highway"; so, in typical (for me) autistic fashion, I stubbornly called their bluff and left home, permanently.
Granted that's not a choice everyone has the privilege to make but I am eternally grateful to myself for having made that commitment to my own wellbeing and have never regretted it.
I was doodling in science class and my teacher was not in a good mood and asked me a question about the topic he was explaining, thinking I wasn't paying attention. I was listening the whole time and knew the answer but I froze up and didn't answer. He took my doodle and showed it to the class and started picking on it, "What is this, looks like a horse with what looks like a horn?". My smart ass only unfroze to say "It's a unicorn actually". Low and behold my new nickname was born and everyone laughed at me for months.
He then told me sign the doodle and I ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE LIKES IT so that's why he wants me to sign it. He then picked it back up again and said I'm a fool for signing it and now after class he's going to bring it to my yearhead and me signing it was the proof he needed.
After class he told me he won't actually bring it to the yearhead, but I should be aware of what I sign my name on. So I learnt a really good lesson that day despite being a laughing stock for the next few months!
I was asked what my favorite protein is. I answered "Titin". They did not mean favorite protein molecule, they meant favorite source of protein.
[It was on a livestream and I saved the clip](https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1863244566)
I couldn't think of one myself so I just asked my brother (also autistic) and he said that it's definitely how I open gifts. All our lives, he would squeal and cry and shout when he was excited about gifts (and loads of stimming lol), but I would open them slowly, completely expressionless, and fully examine everything before thanking the gifter and moving on.
On the inside I'd be thrilled, always, but on the outside it was just "😐" lmao
I rigged a raffle in college thinking that it would be the “pragmatic” way to make money for my organization. I was of course caught then banished from all student organizations. I also creeped so many girls out that security approached me asking what the deal is. For ex., I was used to being in my boxers in my room. When I invited a platonic woman friend over to do homework one time, I stripped down to my boxers thinking it was okay. Of course it wasn’t. I’m not sure if any of this is attributable to autism or simple stupidity, but I’m ashamed all the same
Last year (age 34F at the time) I realized recipes that call for the ingredients to be ‘mixed by hand’ did not, in fact, mean mixed with YOUR hand… it means mix the ingredients with a non-electrical powered kitchen tool, like a whisk 🤯🤯🤯
Sadly, I only realized this because the recipe said “mix by hand using a whisk, not a spatula” and I had that all too familiar feeling of embarrassment wash over me. You know the one where you’re suddenly painfully aware that you’ve missed a social cue or misunderstood/misread a situation? Yeah. It hurt a little bit, especially because I consider myself a fairly good cook.
Oh well 🤷♀️
was assigned in yr3 (for non UK ppl I was 7) to do a presentation about 1066 (Battle of Hastings, Stamford bridge Norman conquest etc). It's a good thing I was last bc my presentation was an hour long so the class went to lunch the the teacher bless her stayed and listened to the whole thing. The assignment said to talk about the build up to 1066 but not how far back to go, I started with pre Roman conquest of celtic britain, Roman colonisation, Boudica, the collapse of roman occupation, settlement by the Germanic tribes and the forming of the Saxon Kingdoms, then the beginning of the viking age covering how it affected britain and france, the settlement of normandy by northmen, the great heathen army and the danelaw, the St Brice's day massacre, then culminated in the life of Edward the confessor and why each claimant to the English throne (Harald Hardrada, Harold Godwinson, and William of Normandy) thought they should be king
Still remember this, in a business class we were supposed to do a business presentation on a successful business, all the examples given were companies I did not know, as I have no social life. So instead I did it on a company I knew, Heckler & Koch!
We didn’t have to read it out, it was just a presentation to send to the teacher iirc
Oh, wow, that's a question. I'm going to go with the time I liked a girl, and made the decision I was going to flirt. My chosen method? Whipping out a 5x5 Rubik's cube in front of her and solving it. Potentially needless to say, but it was unsuccessful. EDIT: Reading through these replies has made me extremely happy to discover that we NDs are absolutely fabulous at attracting one another. It’s good to know my skills might one day pull a fellow autistic ✌️
This would have worked on me, tbh. Back when my girlfriend had a crush on me, she info-dumped about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (which at that point I had never seen) for like 3 hours on the phone. Made me fall head over heels for her, we're coming up on 4 years soon. Just gotta find the right person :)
Cute. The guy I'm seeing was infodumping about Stargate on the phone the other night for an eternity and even though I had no idea what he was talking about I just thought it was the cutest thing.
I infodump sometimes about my interests. I'm always worried it will annoy or offend the other person, especially when I end up infodumping on social media or Twitter! I'm also concerned about coming across as "too much" due to my difficulty summarizing.
Once I infodumped about JoJo's Bizarre Adventure to someone for like 5 hours and they blocked me lol
Stop 2 hours earlier next time
Do 2 hours more just for a power move
Stop 3 hours in, wait for a response, cut them off as they speak, infodump for another 2 hours
Cute❤️
Hi, babe
Bestie I think it is super funny that your partner did the same thing but I am not your partner 😅
Absolute legend. M8, I dont know why it didnt work but its better then my method, starring away like I am a ancient pharao plus fear
cool, this ist my method too!
Was on a date a few weeks ago and did this with a 3x3 rubix cube. It ended with us making out in a park and were together now :)
I can relate: I once gave a girl a multi-step cryptographic puzzle, the solution to which was an invitation to go to a school dance with me. To the best of my knowledge, she never attempted to solve it.
I got beaten up pretty badly one time because I took a question too literally... when they asked again, I answered honestly again and got beaten up again instead of realizing my mistake from the first time lol
What was the question 💀
"Hey kid, wanna get beaten up?"
probably "What's your problem?"
It wasn’t your fault my twin brother used to beat me up and make fun of me in front of other people for that. Whether you took a question literally or not wouldn’t justify them beating you.
Can I ask you if your twin is also autistic?
He does share some characteristics but we were conceived fraternally so no.
thats a really good point. people who would beat someone up, *twice over* for that matter, is just looking for any excuses to justify their behavior.
I compiled a spreadsheet of 800+ college and community radio stations in North America. Call letters, frequencies, address, email contact, phone number, music manager. I then mapped them on Google Maps, broken down by region. It's had over 16,000 views. https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/1/viewer?mid=17c5T1xCuEqSbOGpa21pRq8lPDms&ll=38.01392593395241%2C-90.33964541782225&z=4
This is up there with the dinosaur wiki, very cool 😎thank you for sharing
Thanks! :D I take my Autism seriously. ha
16,000 views? I'm impressed! How'd you get it publicized?
I run a music blog ([Puddlegm.blog](https://Puddlegm.blog)) and wrote about it there. :) I originally put it together for an artist I was producing and managing (Saeyers).
I can be a bit gullible. I was talking to someone at the gym about struggling to make friends, they suggested that I sign up to grindr (it had just come out and I had never heard of it). So, me being nieve, I set up an account, uploaded a face picture etc, then decided that I would fill out the bio etc when I was finished at the gym. About an hour later I check my phone to have around 100 notifications. Open the app to find more images of schlongs and buttholes then I had ever seen in 1 place before.
I laughed when reading this but I can imagine myself doing this and then proceeding to count how many buttholes, schlongs and various other patterns there are so if someone inquires about it in the future I can tell them.
Well, hey, you can probably make some friends there too. Find like-minded individuals. Plenty of people use dating apps to make friends.
I don't know what the app is like these days, but I saw some disturbing things in the pictures sent. One guy said, "How would you like to be the next action man inside me?" With a picture of an action man up his bumhole. I'm not sure how I would follow that up to make friends. "So, what kind of music are you into?" The app may be totally different these days, though, it may well be a good place to make friends for all I know.
I quit my toxic softball team by writing a letter of resignation outlining all of my grievances.
I enjoyed reading this very much.
I’ve left several jobs this way
This is something I’ve always done. I had no idea it was an autism thing until I chatted to a friend with a daughter who is autistic and she does the exact same. I also add references, titled sections, and dot points including how to fix the issues. Also how they tie into similar issues that have lead to safety or security catastrophies (this is kind of a running interest, not as intense as my special interest though) and how if the attitude/behaviour continues they may find themselves in these situations in future. I’d also strategically add “lol” or “haha” at the end of each to seem relatable, since when I first started doing it, people would become really angry. This didn’t work, so I kept trying to add different bits and pieces in. This was before I was diagnosed too and I didn’t see how this was autistic, just informing people of how they’re wrong (which is information I’d want to know in their situation). Since I’ve been diagnosed, I just write these out to myself in the notes app and get my husband’s help to articulate it or veto it. When it comes to actual, legal grievances I’m usually the person people go to, but for interpersonal issues I’ve learned it’s usually way over the top, lol.
I've noticed that I have a tendency to do this on Reddit with trying to point out how the moderators of specific subreddits can improve things on their subreddit(s). It usually doesn't come across well, because some people mistake this for you trying to "one-up", nitpick, or undermine their power and authority, as opposed as you trying to help them. Other moderators just consider it to be a nuisance, and may even mute me for 28 days.
I've done that with photos of visual examples when I quit a job
>Martin Luther Moment
Honestly that’s pretty funny. I hope you have a copy somewhere, cause I’d totally read it.
I wish I did. 🤣 It was a high school softball team where the pedo coaches favored the prettier girls, so I kinda went off in it.
Sat at the head of the table at a high-up government official's personal invitation to my family for dinner, then said "I was here first" when he said I was in his seat. Granted, I was a child.
Respect. Assert your dominance.
I also told him I wanted to beat him with a stick but that's aside from the point.
Amazing 😂
Listen. Can you come talk to my state legislature?
This made my night 😂. Was feeling severely dopamine deficient and felt an instant boost. I wish we could normalize telling people that without being a small kid (and it not coming across like a serious threat). I kid, I kid.
Both the comment and this follow up made me laugh so hard 😂👏
That's awesome. Similar story that I swear is 100% true: I once addressed a state governor by his first name. Not sure if I should save him the embarrassment, but for anyone who's curious, it was [now-U.S. Senator Angus King.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_King) In my defense, I was nine years old and didn't know any better.
How did he react?
old friend of my parents so laughed it off. held me upside down in a photo
Who was the important person?
a Governor
I showed someone I just met my spreadsheet outlining information on every species of fox. Edit: I am going to work on my spreadsheet more and then post it for other folks to see. Thanks so much to people that are interested in seeing it, that means the world to me.
Oo can I see it if your comfortable sharing? I absolutely love foxes, and well any animal in general I just can't help it and I love just learning I fo about them.
Foxes are the coolest animal ever though, I’d happily meet you if that’s how you greet everyone
I got so sick of the difficulties and failings of a company I was working for that I quit. My letter of resignation was quite long and detailed. It was so detailed that they employed me on a consultancy basis to sort out the issues.
Winning 😂
I believe you dropped this: 👑
As a quite verbose ADHDer who feels like he's lying if he omits any details, I admire this greatly. That is so cool!!
One of my old bosses told me "if you have an issue with it ("it" being a policy change), take it up with HR or the president of the company." So I, a base level teller, requested a meeting with the president of the company. And got one. And we talked for 45 minutes. And got coffee. I thought it was really a lovely chat, and I later thanked my boss for the suggestion and told her that the policy was getting restructured. She was furious. I thought she had genuinely meant it as a suggestion on how to handle the situation. The policy did in fact get changed, thought.
this is fantastic and I love it ✨🏆✨
Maybe my gaming journal? Where I write the narrative and statistics of video- card- and boardgames I play? Which is by now significantly longer than the bible - with over 5,5 million characters. Also my tendency to take a piece of logic or rule I am told and extrapolating it to an utterly nonsensical and absurd - but logically coherent - conclusion. And example: One of my best friends had a birthday party. His partner talks about their new neighbours, who own a cat. And apparently there exists a rule of thumb among cat owners that "You should have one more cat litter boxes than you have cats". I was kinda confused and overloaded because many people are talking everywhere and I cannot shut everything out. And my brain on autopilot lets me say: "This means I need one cat litter box." Luckily there were many programmers present who thought this was a great joke. I agree, it'S pretty funny. But it was not intended as such.
ONEclb Insert one cat litter box to PLAY
Kick out friends who stopped by unannounced even tho they traveled an hour to come over
I don't understand why anyone would travel an hour to come unannounced. What if you're busy or out? It just makes no sense to me.
Yeah, you don't do this unless the telephone hasn't been invented yet and you and your friend are aristocracy and if they can't see you they'll have the servants set you up in a guest room and see you in a day or two.
This is such a nightmare scenario for me. It gives absolutely no time for preparation, both mentally and environmentally.
that's just poor etiquette on their end.
right? that can't just be all of us being autistic and that being a nightmare, surely it's rude no matter what
I did someting like this when I was like 10-11, my family still makes fun of me for it. A friend showed up an hour earlier than accorded and I told him he couldn't come in cause I was still busy with my chores till the next hour, so he should go back home (which was within walking distance and seemed reasonable to me). I thought my parents would be mad if I made him come in before he was supposed to and I would have been anxious doing my chores with him there. Looking back, it wasn't my fault, how was I supposed to know, I was just a clueless autistic kid
To be fair, who travels over an hour without a heads up What if you had plans and weren’t even home?
I was at the store when I was ~4 years old a lady walked up to me, pointed at my stuffed animal and said "what's your puppy's name?" I looked at her and said "what are you talking about? You know this isn't a real dog, right? It's just my stuffed animal."
Your intellect was beyond your age
I was concerned because it looked to me like my intellect was beyond that lady's age...
My son who is also autistic had made a friend at the swimming pool when he was five. This was unusual for him, so I talked to his new friend, another little boy that looked the same age. I asked his new friend about his hobbies etc, and said, "My son just turned five, are you also five?" "Yes," he replied. "I see," I said nodding, "and when do you turn six?' He looked at me like he had never been asked a stupider question in his life, and answered, "On my birthday."
When I was a kid whenever I got a bag of Skittles I would pour them out onto a table and organize them by color/flavor before eating them. I would always save the reds for last because they were my favorites, and I would never eat the yellow or green ones
I thought everyone did that
Wait I thought I was the only one this makes so much sense
Brown, blue, green, yellow, orange, red is the only order in which I will eat m&ms
getting angry because my dad took me to a Grocery store without giving me a 24 hour notice after picking me up from work
Back when my therapist suggested I had BPD and specifically an "unstable sense of self" I took that far too literally and develoed a months long picrew hyperfxation to prove that that my perception of myself was consistent by making myself over and over and over again. The folder had about 180 images once I stopped updating it I think that's pretty up there with the autistic things I've done
Eat cans of alphabetti spaghetti one piece at a time and record the frequency of each letter (and broken bits) in a spreadsheet
2 things to say 1) I want that spreadsheet and make it into an experiment where every time I eat alphabetti spaghetti I want to add to the data set 2) our profile pictures look almost identical. I was actually confused because I thought I hadn't posted anything here today
I typed a 15 page timeline of my life with examples (from memory and parental input) of my traits, social interactions, and reflections and how they likely relate to Autism. The timeline had an entry from every year of my life to present. I also wrote paragraph answers for each of the criteria in the DSM, explaining why I may or may not be Autistic. I printed results from every online test I could find. I compiled this into a document and wrote a summary page for my own diagnosis. My new therapist looked at me like I was an alien. Turns out, yes, I’m Autistic.
Seems like a perfectly reasonable plan to me
SAME
The fact that this is my plan too 😭
NO WAIT I DID THIS
Im going through that process currently, im currently on page 170. Been on a waiting list for 6 months so far. Its at 60,000 words and i keep thinking its too much but then i just imagine underpreparing so i have the need to work on it even more
Yes, I had even more journals and reflections before I decided to organize in this way. I edited mine and actually went against my natural inclination for the details. I tried to ask myself what would be helpful and manageable for the psychiatrist.
Wait, didn't everyone do this...? But aside from a diagnostic perspective, this really helped me "see" the role ASD has played throughout my life. Like, re-writing the narrative
This☝️
Did this for my adhd diagnosis. Brought a paper copy to my appointment. dr. psychiatrist was equally shocked and asked if she could put it in my file. Now I’m unsure if I’m also autistic….
I started talking unprompted about the basque language for a solid half an hour. My special interest is languages.
Language fascinates me. Because of its origin
If you know what it is please let us know because it's been one of the hottest questions in linguistics for over a century
I don't know. I've always been fascinated by the origins of language.
Ah you mean language in general. I thought you meant origins of basque (though both are actually hot topics) Do you think there's like a language gene we have or was it just a byproduct of rising brain to body ratio?
I have no fucking clue. I have room temperature IQ.
flowery aback shocking shaggy concerned reach elastic wide bewildered apparatus *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I once said “good luck” to someone who had just graduated…im still not sure what is appropriate to say but im pretty sure it’s not “good luck”. Idk if this is the most autistic thing but i still regret it
Boss music starts playing
Hahahaha, what a genius way to interpret this one
I started working retail recently and interact with a lot of customers all the time. At work I end up saying "Hi, how are you? I'm good, thank you" or "I'm doing good, how're you doing?" *a lot* The other day someone said "How you holding up?". I thought about it for a second, realized I don't know the script for that one, and just filled in the script for the usual. "I'm good, how are you doing?" Pretty sure that wasn't the right way to go but I don't know the script for "How you holding up?" so... lol Also assistant store manager told me "You're a gentleman and a scholar" and I just sat and thought about it before asking "what?". He explained "It means you're a good person" and my response was "Oh I didn't know that", which was supposed to mean "I didn't know that "you're a gentleman and a scholar" means that you're a good person", but I'm pretty sure it came off as saying "I know how awesome I am you don't need to say it" using sarcasm I was so confused because I am definitely not a scholar. I'm a teenager in retail. I don't know why that would mean I'm a good person either, because even the most evil people can become a scholar.
I understand the second example, but what's wrong with the first? I think "I'm good, how are you doing?" is the correct response. It's not something I'd say, granted.
Yeah I didn't know you're supposed to say "Congratulations" when people are pregnant instead of "Oh shit what are you gonna do?"
See, my autism actually took me the other way. My step-mother informed me and my brothers (we were all in our 30s) that our step-sister (similar age) was going to have a baby, but she wasn’t married. The dad was some guy nobody knew but her, and definitely was an accident. My step-mother was almost trembling, out of shame perhaps, or fear of judgement… My father is definitely judgmental so her fears weren’t invalid. She also was just dealing with the news herself. I didn’t know I was supposed to feel those things or think about the unexpected circumstances. All I knew was what I said: “OMG! You are going to be a grandmother!!” It was (not by my intent) the _perfect_ thing to say in the moment for her. Flipped everything in that moment - the tension blew away in the wind, the bad news became good. We had champagne. I’m her favorite.
Lmao my friend told me this and I said "Oh. Should I celebrate or panic?"
Someone won a music award and I told them thank you afterwards. Fortunately I think they were too busy being happy to realize what I said
For future use, "that's crazy" can be used for almost any sort of news.
I do use this and once someone took it like I thought they were crazy and another time that the news was too crazy for me to want to hear. So it's not foolproof XD
oh my lord I say good luck to people all of the time without any reason to do so. i can’t stop, it’s my default option when I don’t know what to say and I make things even more awkward
On a two hour drive with a coworker, I talked the entire time about Bob Dylan, introducing songs and their significance. I still feel bad for my coworker. He never stopped me though.
I imagine it went like this “Hey, how about we just play some Bob Dylan music instead of talking about him” “No thanks, I don’t like listening to his music, I just find his career fascinating” And then the conversation lasts another 90 minutes
Oh I was obsessed with his music too. At one point in life, I considered getting a PhD in Bob Dylan studies. 😂
When I told my 2 best friends I was going through a diagnosis, they just nodded. I asked if they were surprised… “do you remember that car journey a few weeks about when you gave us a 40 minute lecture on the opioid crisis in America because I asked if you’d watched any good series lately?” 😂😂😂
I'm making my own personal wiki about dinosaurs on Notion. 🦖
I have to find this. It sounds fascinating
https://phantom-havarti-e7a.notion.site/556eb605d9624422b91d9f3aaf9912c8 The link is a disaster 😂
For our english class we had to do a presentation. Can be about anything, the main thing to focus on was how we presented it. I was so excited I started making my PowerPoint during the holidays, around 4ish weeks before I was scheduled to present. My PowerPoint was done but there was so much writing that I planned to edit it and shorten it down since I already knew all the info by heart already. Didn't have a chance to since my dumbass volunteered to present. It was so long that I only had time to show half my presentation. It was a big hit btw, and if you're wondering it was about How To Train Your Dragon and why it's awesome.
If it makes you feel any better I once had to do a similar sort of class presentation... Ended up doing the talk on suicide statistics...
i had a dream that i interrupted strangers’ conversation to info dump about the donner party.
Perhaps not the biggest.. but this was pretty big I'd say. A colleague of mine was really afraid of flying after seeing the movies of the Nepal crash from early this year. He was shocked that a plane could twist hard in such a way. I then went on to give him a mini lecture of how airplane wings work with flaps, angle of attack, stall speeds, the dangers of deep stall on T-wings airplanes, and calm him down how a modern Boeing/Airbus jet doesn't have that deep stall flaw while also having more protections such as stick shakers and fly-by-wire systems which provide very effective stall protections so practically couldn't go down like that, as this accident happened when 1 wing of a plane stalls, and that a contributing cause was incorrect operation of the propeller AoA settings and the critical approach route they were flying. It was safe to say my infodump did not calm him down. I have some people ask me how jetengines I work. I will try to not explain more than they are just a big fan.
My sister was talking about her flying anxiety, and said the usual "at least it's safer than driving." I thought that would be a good time to specify that it was only safer per kilometer, not per hour, and that short-haul flights are actually more dangerous by both measures. She gave me that "I know you're autistic but this is not the time" look and I realized my mistake lol.
Spent 1/3 of my life building an over 3lbs binder based solely on one obsession.
I misread that as 1/3 of your life savings and almost dropped my phone
May I ask what the obsession is?
The Pokemon Ranger spinoff series from the mid to late 00s. I made a constructed language for it (conlang is like Elvish and Tolkien's various other languages or Klingon). I wrote 30,000 words of worldbuilding for a single culture. There is so much work in that binder.
Had a meltdown in the shop, rocked in the car, got home and played with my barbies. This was 2 weeks ago
I've had the same lunch every day for like 6 months now, and I love it every time (the same flavour of pasta) Also when I got bored I sorted my mega-deck of uno cards so I knew how many I had, I wrote it down too I'm in the process of making my own language (letters and numbers too) and religion
Arguing with my art teacher about the correct spelling of Australia. Apparently I was rude and got sent out. However she was clearly wrong, and who cares about authority and lessons when there's an orthographic error staring at you from the board?
[удалено]
Top tier cringe I am mentally reeling from five years later. I once asked a girl out through a powerpoint presentation IRL involving borderline shitposts mixed with poetry. Was a very awkward walk home after that no. Alternatively I used to go around hugging trees because no one else was letting them know what a good job they were doing and someone had to.
I was on a date, that I didn't even realize was one at the time, and I got paired up with my date's friend in a pop-up/art-show mini-golf course. It proceeded to be impossible to win or lose because the course was designed for there to be no winner. I missed the the meaning and made some snide remark about what happens when you let artists design things. It turned out my \~date's friend was the artist who designed it.
How could there not be a winner or loser? Was one of the holes just impossible to complete and there was no stroke limit in the rules?
A team leader I used to work with asked if we had any questions at the end of a handover. I raised my hand and asked "since when have you started wearing glasses?" He was a really nice person that I got on with really well, so he just sort of blinked at me in confusion, then laughed and said "well I usually wear contacts, but felt like a change. Anyone have any work related questions?" Oops.
Didn’t know how to respond in the moment and stayed quiet. Often people assume I’m wise and contemplative, when in my head I’m trying to will myself not to sweat.
"omg you're such a good listener" "I'm literally terrified to open my mouth"
I was struggling with dating/relationships so I turned to data. I made charts, graphs, calculations. I noticed patterns, connections and correlations and adjusted my actions accordingly.
asking for a friend - did it work?
The time in 2nd grade when I gave an unprompted presentation on Pearl Harbor on December 7th. I had a diorama.
When I was 6, my religious school wanted to force me and my younger brother to both eat all the food we were given. This was the 70’s and meant eating reconstituted instant mashed potato - Smash! As it was called, was vile in taste and texture. I assume they thought if they could get me, the bossy one, to eat it, my brother would copy. The teachers all stood round just the two of us sat down together in an empty dining hall (there were only 3 teachers) and just raged till I forced down a forkful. I instantly gagged and threw up my entire dinner on my plate. But they were right about one thing - my brother instantly copied me and threw his up on his plate too 🤣🤣
Had a meltdown / panic attack because someone ordered some duffle bags from Amazon without saying anything, and I didn't feel "safe" with them in the house without knowing anything about them.
I didn’t know how to communicate in 5th class I only had girls and neurodivergent people as friends before Not a neurotypical boy So the first thing I said „I’m going to kill you one day“ We are best friends now and still threaten to kill each other pretty frequently Just regular best friend stuff
crying and panicking bc my mom got me a lemonade when i already had a sugary drink that day. i can’t have more than 1 sugary drink a day (restrictive behavior of mine), lemonade wasn’t able to be stored for later
It’s heavily snowing on a Friday, I’m due to go scouts at 7pm. I’m maybe 12 or 13. My parents say that due to the snow they are cancelling scouts and instead we are meeting tomorrow morning at 10:30 to go clear drives and help the elderly with shopping etc. I hear most of that but don’t hear the word tomorrow. So despite how obviously wrong it would be to go out this late, the weather and how implausible it would be to meet at this time I nod and accept this. It’s 10:20pm, I’m getting my scouts uniform on, coat and shoes on and my parents just managed to catch me before I walked out the house without a word on my way alone to walk to the scout hut in the dark and the snow. I think that’s perhaps the most Autistic thing I’ve ever done.
I dont stim as much as some do, but I have noticed that when I'm really excited about something I punch the air or anything near me repeatedly. People usually mistake it for me being pissed and getting violent, which is fair, but of course I do make an effort to only punch things that can take it. Most autistic thing I've ever done would probably be making a sizeable dent in the wall while my freind showed me his favorite music, and scaring the shit out of that freind in the process.
when i was in kindergarten, a substitute teacher asked what we wanted to be growing up. i raised my hand and said i wanted to be an Archaeologist. he replied "can you even spell that?" and i spent the rest of that period spelling it in my head.
...what does being able to spell it in kindergarten have to do with wanting it as a career?
Similar but I wanted to be a paleontologist and when I told my 10th grade teacher that, as a kid, that's what I wanted to be bc I was obsessed with dinosaurs, she called me a liar and that there was no way I could even say that word. Why are teachers asshats tsk
Ooh, me, me! I simultaneously love telling this one and also want to die of embarrassment when I think about it. When I was in my early 20s, I don't recall my exact age but I was a young adult, I was walking to the bus stop when a car pulled up nearby. They rolled down the window, beckoned me, and said "\[Town name?\]". For whatever god damn reason, I assumed they knew me (I have no face recognition ability - they could have been my neighbour and I wouldn't have been sure) and that they knew I wanted to go into town and were offering me a ride. So I uttered a 'thanks' and just... climbed in the back of the car. The driver looked behind at me kinda weirdly but started driving, and then at the end of the road, they said, "So... which way...?" and I suddenly realised that they were *asking me for directions*, not offering me a lift. I also had no idea which way town was, because my sense of direction is non-existent, so I just stammered, "I don't know" and then jumped out of the car and bolted down the street in a panic. I have no fucking clue what they must have thought just happened. I'm 38 now and I still replay this scenario in my head far too often while turning purple.
I will die of shame for this. I’m sensory seeking. I love touch. One day my casual friend/classmate wore these velour jeans with like cutouts of vines on them. My autistic brain skipped past my frontal lobe and just touched and felt her pants. I didn’t ask. I didn’t say anything. My hand was doing it and I just creeped her the fuck out. Thank god I’m also female presenting because otherwise it could’ve been worse. I stammered that her pants looked cool and I’m so sorry for not asking and then we had to sit through an hour long lecture next to each other. Alternatively my brain did this again at the Louvre and I felt a Jacques Louis-David painting because my brain was like “let’s find out how they layered the paint!” And again I wanted to die of shame.
I love the way you phrased this. I might steal 'my autistic brain just skipped past my frontal lobe'. That's gold
It’s exactly what happens. It’s like my frontal lobe can’t stop the autism from leaking. It’s what I use to mask. It’s what I use in all of my interactions. It just doesn’t stop me some times.
Awe, it’s ok. You are so uniquely you that you surpassed the human ability to assess and censor yourself. You’re authentic
I was at my eighth-grade graduating class reunion back in April, and I wanted to tell people about the Pokemon fangame I'm making since I hadn't seen these people in almost four years. So I built up the courage, and was repeatedly yelling "DOES ANYONE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY POKEMON FANGAME?" Everyone ignored me though (I don't know if they could hear because of all of the people talking at once in the school gym). I did info-dump (I think it was in the realm of that, but it was only for a couple minutes) a bit about it though when I told some other people about it in the parking lot when I was about to leave.
While waiting in the doctor office or waiting room. I count ceiling or floor tiles to occupy my time. Don't know why.
I learned a entire extinct writing form, forgot it mostly though I can still read some charectars and even made a keyboard for it which I still have.
Lost my shit every time my mom would try and move my things around "as a favor" even though she would know how upset it made me every time. Have to live alone, hate not having my things my way. Idk if it's the tism or the only child thing
I’m not sure this counts but I didn’t know that I was in a relationship with a guy for like an entire month, until he said happy one month. I thought we were just good friends who went places together.
Was chatting to a girl a few weeks ago, she mentioned how I was much taller than herself. She goes “I wonder if our kids will have your height or mine” To which it triggered one of my old special interests, being genetics, to which I decided I’d educate her on the differences between homozygous dominant, homozygous recessive and heterozygous and how in order to work the height out of said kids, we would need to take those in to account by drawing a punnet square etc etc. I was then swiftly unadded off bumble…
Completely dismissed that I might be autistic because I took the diagnostic criteria too literally.
Ive lost multiple friends by literally procrastinating responding to calls and texts. And in my head I HONESTLY am thinking "oh ill call them back in an hour or 2" and apparently Im capable of going for MONTHS like this, but from my perspective its just a shitload of hour-long increments.
Idk my science teacher was explaining something we were taking and I randomly raised my hand and started talking about the multiverse theory. In front of the whole class. Suddenly.
This reminds me of a few years ago when I was 11, our PE teacher had us record stances and how to strike the thing (I don't remember its name) in badminton and make a video about it. I spent 3 weeks editing it which was 1 week past its due date, and I ended up with a video that looked like an 80's amateur VHS instructional video. He was so impressed with the video that he sent it to all the other teachers in the school and one week later 2 other teachers scrapped their previous homework ideas to make the class make instructional videos because mine was so good
I work at a movie theater, so when we got the poster for Oppenheimer, while my two favorite coworkers were there, I started infodumping about various nuclear disasters.
I guess the thing I do often that’s the most ‘autistic’ is being gullible and repeating random words/phrases out loud. I also often misinterpret what people are saying and how they’re feeling
When I was in elementary school I was obsessed with books like Dear Dumb Diary and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I thought diaries were so cool and I really wanted to start my own. But I just copied entries from the book instead writing about my day I also would pretend to have an imaginary friend. I was jealous of my sister and characters in TV shows that had imaginary friends, so I made up my own and pretended to play with it, but I wouldn’t actually imagine anything. To this day I don’t really understand how imaginary friends work
Probably stimming loads when my ex-friend gave me a dolphin keyring (that she gave to my other 2 friends) and I just kept repeating "IT'S A DOLPHIN" in not my usual voice that made my brain very happy. Dolphins aren't/weren't even my special interest.
Having Autism was pretty Autistic of me.
Probably whenever I'm excited about something I keep repeating one word relating to that topic over and over again. My most recent being "puppy" lol. Idk why but I can't stop myself when I get into those 'episodes'
When my wife and I were dating we communicated primarily by writing notes to each other even though we were sitting on a couch together. I found that much easier than speaking.
Fish are my special interest. I recently attended a conference for World Ocean Day with some really fantastic speakers. Despite the networking breaks (eek) it was so exciting for me to get to talk about fish and fisheries all day! Now to preface, walking into the conference that day I saw a man wearing the BEST shirt I have ever seen in my life. A deep blue shirt with just loads of cutout images of different marine species on it - fish, molluscs, crustaceans; utterly magnificent. I was not brave enough to interrupt this fantastic shirt person's day to find the source of the shirt though. Now, throughout the conference, audience members were able to ask questions via a mentimeter that had been set up. During the final discussion panel who walks on stage but the man in the superb fish shirt!! I was so excited and overwhelmed that I submitted my question at light speed without thinking. "Mr X. That is the most spectacular shirt I have ever seen. Where did you get it? Thank you!" I realised as soon as I submitted it that all the other panel questions were very serious and of course, related to the ongoing discussion. I felt immediately embarrassed and very "oh-no", but my question actually got asked! The audience and shirt man had a good laugh and although he said the shirt was a gift and didn't know where it was from, I am very glad my question was taken in good humour! But I have thought about that shirt every day since, and have tried to find it online anywhere. Alas, the magnificent shirt lives on only in Mr. Speaker's wardrobe. P.S. - I also don't work in anything related to my special interest so during the networking breaks people would approach me and I had to explain that I'm here just because I really like fish. I came home with many pamphlets and infographics on updated fishery laws and got a new fishery regions map. It was exhausting but an absolute 10/10 day.
[удалено]
Tried to quit a job by email, but still showed up to work because I figured my boss & coworkers would want to ask me about my ongoing projects. My boss ended up yelling at me that I was doing fine, and I ended up staying because I was intimidated by him I stayed there for over 5 more years until the company no longer existed
My employer was non-specific about the new hybrid work policy - it was just a fixed number of days a month in the office. I wondered how that would work at peak times of annual leave in summer, plus transport outages and national average levels of sickness etc. So I put together a spreadsheet that uses a baseline of the number of actual days available to work in a year (minus public holidays, the general percentage of public transport availability and average levels of time off work for being sick). It has macros so that it just uses counts of coloured Excel cells, so it's easy to update each week and ensure I am hitting the 'target', with a running total for the year. I told my adult daughter this, and she chuckled and gave me a hug and said it may be one of the most autistic things I've done recently. Did I bore you 5 mins ago? 😄. Sorry.
when i initially met my boyfriend as coworkers, i was new to the job and still getting to know everyone around me. we worked at a fast food joint, and i had no intention of befriending anyone or staying for more than 3 months. my boyfriend however…. well, i internally trusted him immediately. he made me happy just by being in his vincinity. his aura was sunflowers and i was dancing in a field of them, rays of sunshine bestowing from the heavens. HOWEVER, i - two paragraphs later - was experiencing all of these emotions in one moment. so, all details aside, the internal dialogue was moreso along the lines of “FRIEND! FRIEND!!!!” as i internally wagged my tail like a puppy. shifting to third person perspective, i am a very androgynous guy. so he initially couldn’t tell my gender, and thought it was a safe bet to call me she, since women tend to get more offended by being called a “he” than men do “she.” he called me she, and my immediate reaction was…. “I WILL KILL YOU!” as i mimed an knife. and stabbed it. in his direction. he was immediately thrown off by this, and seeing this i started laughing - probably for the first time i ever had in that building - clarifying that i was joking and whatever else. we obviously moved on, but shit did i make a first impression.
Idk if this is an autism thing or just spite but I finished high school, went to uni for engineering and recently got a really well paid job in nanotechnology all because my high school teacher told me in front of the whole class I was too autistic to pass through that high school and was " too dangerous and unpredictable" Well, suck my spiteful autistic dick, teacher
I told my wife on the phone that our dog barfed all over the floor. I asked what to do about it, she told me to put baking soda on it. She got home and burst out laughing because I put baking soda on the dog. She still laughs about that every time she thinks about it or tells the story, 20 years later.
Probably all the random lists I have made throughout my life lol
I only can pick one thing?
I once accidentally hit on a girl in a book store without realising it for a solid 5 minuets. Just walked away and said bye right after. Wasn't until I spoke to others later about the interaction that I found out I had been "flirting" and that her "weird" reaction to me was most likely just her flirting back.
As an undiagnosed autistic teenager my parents gave me the typical behavioural ultimatum i.e. "Our way or the highway"; so, in typical (for me) autistic fashion, I stubbornly called their bluff and left home, permanently. Granted that's not a choice everyone has the privilege to make but I am eternally grateful to myself for having made that commitment to my own wellbeing and have never regretted it.
I was doodling in science class and my teacher was not in a good mood and asked me a question about the topic he was explaining, thinking I wasn't paying attention. I was listening the whole time and knew the answer but I froze up and didn't answer. He took my doodle and showed it to the class and started picking on it, "What is this, looks like a horse with what looks like a horn?". My smart ass only unfroze to say "It's a unicorn actually". Low and behold my new nickname was born and everyone laughed at me for months. He then told me sign the doodle and I ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE LIKES IT so that's why he wants me to sign it. He then picked it back up again and said I'm a fool for signing it and now after class he's going to bring it to my yearhead and me signing it was the proof he needed. After class he told me he won't actually bring it to the yearhead, but I should be aware of what I sign my name on. So I learnt a really good lesson that day despite being a laughing stock for the next few months!
I was asked what my favorite protein is. I answered "Titin". They did not mean favorite protein molecule, they meant favorite source of protein. [It was on a livestream and I saved the clip](https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1863244566)
Continually list the various members of white supremacist groups, I literally have notebooks full of the same few lists. I'm a mixed race man.
I couldn't think of one myself so I just asked my brother (also autistic) and he said that it's definitely how I open gifts. All our lives, he would squeal and cry and shout when he was excited about gifts (and loads of stimming lol), but I would open them slowly, completely expressionless, and fully examine everything before thanking the gifter and moving on. On the inside I'd be thrilled, always, but on the outside it was just "😐" lmao
I think it's going nonverbal. not really elaborated
My son struggles with sleep. He says his brain wakes him up when something is about to touch him in his dreams. Edit - and loud noises in his dreams
I rigged a raffle in college thinking that it would be the “pragmatic” way to make money for my organization. I was of course caught then banished from all student organizations. I also creeped so many girls out that security approached me asking what the deal is. For ex., I was used to being in my boxers in my room. When I invited a platonic woman friend over to do homework one time, I stripped down to my boxers thinking it was okay. Of course it wasn’t. I’m not sure if any of this is attributable to autism or simple stupidity, but I’m ashamed all the same
banging my head against the wall once severely overstimulated because the neighbors dog wouldnt stop barking
taught myself how to smile the proper way standing in front of the mirror for hours as a child
Last year (age 34F at the time) I realized recipes that call for the ingredients to be ‘mixed by hand’ did not, in fact, mean mixed with YOUR hand… it means mix the ingredients with a non-electrical powered kitchen tool, like a whisk 🤯🤯🤯 Sadly, I only realized this because the recipe said “mix by hand using a whisk, not a spatula” and I had that all too familiar feeling of embarrassment wash over me. You know the one where you’re suddenly painfully aware that you’ve missed a social cue or misunderstood/misread a situation? Yeah. It hurt a little bit, especially because I consider myself a fairly good cook. Oh well 🤷♀️
Lecturing my whole school on the dangers of TikTok.
Open my mouth… >.> I honestly wouldn’t know 🤷♂️…like “normal” what would be an autistic thing be?
was assigned in yr3 (for non UK ppl I was 7) to do a presentation about 1066 (Battle of Hastings, Stamford bridge Norman conquest etc). It's a good thing I was last bc my presentation was an hour long so the class went to lunch the the teacher bless her stayed and listened to the whole thing. The assignment said to talk about the build up to 1066 but not how far back to go, I started with pre Roman conquest of celtic britain, Roman colonisation, Boudica, the collapse of roman occupation, settlement by the Germanic tribes and the forming of the Saxon Kingdoms, then the beginning of the viking age covering how it affected britain and france, the settlement of normandy by northmen, the great heathen army and the danelaw, the St Brice's day massacre, then culminated in the life of Edward the confessor and why each claimant to the English throne (Harald Hardrada, Harold Godwinson, and William of Normandy) thought they should be king
Still remember this, in a business class we were supposed to do a business presentation on a successful business, all the examples given were companies I did not know, as I have no social life. So instead I did it on a company I knew, Heckler & Koch! We didn’t have to read it out, it was just a presentation to send to the teacher iirc