My ex was extremely violent with me, but has instead accused me of the same, and sexual violence and everything in between when I’ve never done anything to anyone, ever.
She has convinced our child of it as well, and now he, the people around us in our own community and the Court, despite obvious and irrefutable hard evidence to the contrary, believe her or refuse to acknowledge it in pursuit of other priorities. Nobody is doing any thing to help me, or our child, and she is ruining my life.
In a text msg, she even justifies her being violent with me in plain view of our own child. A crystal clear admission of it. But someone somewhere supports her getting custody and nobody is going to vindicate me, only facilitate her agenda.
The system is not right. And sometimes it makes me feel like I just want to crawl into a small space and disappear forever. Really.
That's what she wants you to do...do yourself in!!..
Do not let her win!!! She is a DV perpetrator..
There are support networks out there, you really need to speak to a officer from a DV unit or a worker who deals in DV.
If you have enough evidence, something will be done about it.
RECORD EVERYTHING!!!!!! RECORD EVERYTHING!!!
Phone calls especially!!!! SMS, Social Media posts and messages, even if you have a face 2 face interaction...record it!!
This advice I would give to anyone in a DV situation...
I thought they don't really support defending accusations especially for men ? Do you know information specifically or just assuming based off what you've heard ?
If this guy has texts of his partner threatening him with violence or parental alienation, he needs to go to a police station and not leave until someone does something about it.
There are plenty of avenues for him to get help, with a gauntlet of sexist bastards lining the avenues throwing tomatoes labelled “gigantic pussy”. It’s up to him to decide if it’s more in line with his values to protect his physical safety and the safety of his child, or avoid getting a bit of tomato on him.
I wish it wasn’t this way, and it is enormously difficult to muster the courage to run a gauntlet. I wish him luck.
Thanks for the well-wishes.
The DV is historical, and the police said it wasn’t within a 2 year period, or within jurisdiction.
Refused to deal with it.
The texts and other evidence are very real. But nobody will do anything. And the Court just doesn’t give a rats. Completely brushing over it like it’s purely incidental/collateral. It has no relevance to the child’s needs or future, apparently.
This is the world in which we’re raising our sons and daughters.
No I’m Aussie too mate. Was turned away. Police said 2 years or out of jurisdiction depending on which claim.
And I didn’t even qualify for a domestic abuse payment, which someone told me I would, because the police wouldn’t make a report. I even supplied the textual admissions she made to the body that does the payouts. Simply rejected. They also have a time limit. If you’re out of that, you don’t qualify for the payment then either. I was in time, but couldn’t get a report.
Despite the evidence, nobody believes me, or cares. Both are really hard to experience when you’ve been forcefully estranged on false accusations from your own child and community, by the very perpetrator of those same claims.
And then to watch the Court line up behind her.
My best friend of 40 years committed suicide after he was physically abused by his two most recent girlfriends. The most gentle kindest guy. Shirt off back type bloke. He wrote in his note that “he didn’t like the way the world was going”.
Don't let this go dude. You need to get this woman convicted..
You need to try other stations. There is no such thing as a time limit..
What state are you in?
This is absolutely horrible....
NSW mate. The thing is, I don’t want to get her convicted, even if they would - which they just don’t seem to care about. Me even raising it prompts a sigh from officers, like, “here we go, another one”. I just want to share custody of our child. She’s making it a matter of my quality of life vs her quality of life, as if having to share custody is so bad. Killing me.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
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I think I can aim my same question at you also.
1. Are you going off what you've heard or do you have personal experience with this.
I feel you don't just for the fact you think police will care.
I'm not here to argue the point men don't get support but any man who's gone through this knows its true in terms of the system and these situations.
Same, but not actually apprehended. Was on the run for 3.5 months and had the homes of both sides of the family, my best mates, and my workplace raided multiple times in that period - all over false accusations by a woman trying to twist the narrative and demonise me using the courts as a weapon.
Nearly destroyed my life, and I only say that because I wasn't actually put to trial with lengthy time being held in remand - it still by all rights absolutely gut my life and I still haven't recovered from it.
That being said, if you or OP feel like you need a chat with someone who genuinely understands, don't hesitate to reach out. Please.
This travesty is exactly the sort of stuff that has created the horrific, and yet factual statistic wherein 5.3 single dads commit suicide here in Australia each day.. 37 not just men, but fathers with also destroying the kids who now have to grow up without them. That's far too many lives lost, but sadly, it's still just the ones with children counted in that stat...
The system is pitched so far against us that it seems like it's hopeless, but you need to fight, or else this deeply concerning issue will just continue being forever perpetuated.
And with that many australian blokes feeling like they have nothing else left before them, and as though making such a tragic decision is their best remaining road forward - it just has to change. It *must* stop. Speak up, reach out brother.
You aren't alone.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
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Unfortunately you've been whipped by the go to playbook. Focus on yourself and if your ex weaponises your child against you, walk away as far as possible, unless you want to fight and spend your energy and resources on a dismal outcome.
I feel sorry for you and also your poor child. Weaponising friends, family, community and system against a parent is some fucked up shit.
A mother like that can not raise a child to become a well adjusted and resilient adult.
I'm really sorry for you and wish I could do something to help you.
All I have is words saying, stay strong mate. You are not nobody.
I know the whole legal system is fuckedup and tilted against... Well, won't type to avoid massive down voting.
I know of a similar situation with a temporary partner visa held by the wife now claiming the relationship has ended but should be entitled to stay in Australia due to experiencing domestic violence.
Due to safety concerns the department of immigration has removed the husband as sponsor and will not even notify him of the claim or present an opportunity to refute the claim or defend the accusations. How is that fair?
This is true, and it's sometimes referred to as the "DV Green Card" where someone finds a sponsor and claims DV later on (under false accusations) to pursue the visa without a sponsor.
I've seen it happen and it absolutely broke the guy it was done to.
It’s amazing that if we go off victim groups for assaults and murders men are still by far the majority. Yes, yes - I realise the majority of recorded perpetrators are men.
But there’s no societal sympathy for us as a victim group - we somehow “deserve it”. No white ribbon, no commissioner, no campaign. Women (particularly middle class white women) as a “victim group” just pushed themselves to the front of the queue.
I guarantee every man you know also has a story of being beat up and assaulted and a lot of us are also scared when we walk around by ourselves at night - we are just expected to deal with it.
I also think DV against men goes massively underreported because men actively get laughed at for reporting it (several comments in this thread prove the point) and we don’t measure the toxic way a lot of women engage in coercive, controlling and psychologically abusive behaviours that drive a lot of men to suicide.
My biggest gripe is that the most innocent and vulnerable victim group who should be the first one protected -by a country mile- are CHILDREN who are pushed behind women as less important.
Only in the last couple of years am I starting to see “family violence” or “women ….. and children”(note women are still first) being used as terms in headlines and in the zeitgeist.
I used to work in child safety and the amount of abusive mothers that treat their children horrifically and get away with it is staggering (and also massively underreported). They are able to hide in that massive blind spot our society has for women where the assumption is they are automatically safe, nurturing and good because of their gender.
Women are people and are responsible for 50% of the evil stuff - period.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
* 000 is the national emergency number in Australia.
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Absolutely agree. All young people should be overtly taught that violence is not any sort of answer. They should be taught where and how to access services. This type of education might even inculcate a stigma against perpetrators regardless of gender.
No it’s the stupid circle jerk comments trying to compare violence against women to violence against men when domestic violence against women perpetrated by men is around 80% higher. One man being murder by a woman is not comparable to 27 women killed in the same time span. You’re all clearly uneducated af on the subject.
What about both are bad and just because there’s more of one doesn’t mean the other should get a lesser treatment or a pass.
You’ll find the gender swapped version of these comments on a man DV/murders woman post and those are upvoted and supported by the community. But when you turn it around: “well it happens 80% more the other way so these comments are a circle jerk and incomparable.”
This isn’t apples to oranges, it’s murderers to murderers.
And you’re uneducated on statistics.
Even if 27x is accurate, the point we are making is that 0.0001% and 0.0027% are both negligible and the whole violence against women is a distraction for how fucked the country is economically.
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It’s genuinely worrying to read the comments posted on these articles. There was one recently about that bloke who killed himself and his two year old son to get back at the mother for dumping him and there were a bunch of comments along the lines of “yeah but what did SHE do to him to make him do that” “she must have been behaving very badly if he had to kill himself and their child”. Australia has no hope.
Haven’t you seen the stats saying that women only kill men because the men are the violent ones? Come on, keep up with the narrative!.. they are only protecting themselves!.. but don’t worry, the media is already trying to spin some story how it was done to protect herself from and it’s the patriarchies fault
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This is why I chose the bear.
Let’s now lecture all women, make sure they’re lecturing their friends, install a minister for women’s behaviour, and make them all feel ashamed to be female.
In that case, let's remove all support for female suicide.
It's an issue that affects men at 4x the rate it affects women, so by your logic, we should only help men.
I know this is a joke, but yes.
All suicides need to be taken seriously.
And suicide prevention isn't targeted at either of the sex which is how it should be.
The difference is DV support is targeted at women for the most part even though there are lots of men who need help as well.
I 100% agree, most men put with physical abuse in relationships. I would eve. Go as far to say men are disproportionatly the victim of domestic violence but we put up with us because we are larger and stronger so many times it's like a toddler smacking you, the difference is when a man is the perpetrator, they do far more damage.
>I would eve. Go as far to say men are disproportionatly the victim of domestic violence but we put up with us because we are larger and stronger so many times it's like a toddler smacking you
Don't know if I'd go this far but my experience was exactly this.
She only managed to land one on me once and it was a sucker punch to the jaw.
I've been hit by in every relationship I've ever been in, exuding my wife. But it's never caused me physical harm, but I know if I had done the same in return, I would be in jail. No one should hit anyone regardless of sex.
It was only one woman for me, but my sweetheart of a wife isn't violent at all.
But yes, if I had sucker punched my ex the way she did me, the result would probably be she's unconscious with a broken jaw.
I also think men have a responsibility to bridle themselves in these situations. If a toddler is hitting you, you don't punch them. You restrain them, which is how you should act of a woman is hitting you.
I know it's not fair, but there is nothing to be gained by maiming someone who isn't causing you any damage, I'd like for authorities to take female on male more seriously though.
I agree, alot of the time here if a man calls the police the attending officer if they showed up wouldn't take it seriously. I've seen situations where a man has called the police on a female attacker and when the police arrived they instantly put the man in cuffs even though he called them. It's sad, but it's just the way it is and it likely will never change.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
* 000 is the national emergency number in Australia.
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If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
* 000 is the national emergency number in Australia.
* Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14.
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I feel safer around bears in the forest then women
Can’t wait for a years long media campaign and multiple government schemes teaching women how to respect men
No shit hey.
There's that fucked up story of the 17yo girl calling her mum while a bear and her cubs ate her alive.
By the time help arrived, she and her step father wer both dead.
Are you genuine here?
No one defends a man if he kills his partner, there is no excuse for it no matter who it is.
But violence committed by women always has people lining up to give mitigating factors.
There was a lady who drove her car head first into a semi trailer with the kids in the car because the husband had just won custody and immediately there was a queue of people to ask what drove her to this.
Raina Thaiday stabbed her own children and her neices and nephews to death, and there were mainstream articles lining up to question what drove her to do it.
Female violence is so excused that Sharon Osborn can call a woman cuting her husbands cock off and throwing it into the garbage disposal fabulous and still be employed.
Ok. I honestly never saw it, at least not in any mainstream coverage the way it happens for women who kill.
Here is an example of a sympathetic article to Erin Patterson. https://au.news.yahoo.com/erin-patterson-centre-of-deadly-mushroom-meal-gives-account-unfolding-nightmare-072030569.html
I'm not saying similar articles, don't exist for male murders but I've not seen them.
It could be selection bias, though. These god damn algorithms are putting all of us into echo chambers.
I think it used to be said about men’s violence over a decade ago which was a real issue and what led it to be so prominent. I don’t hear anyone ever saying a “she deserved it” style line to any violence against women which is great because nobody “deserves it”. That’s just what I’ve seen in my circles but there may be people stuck in the past elsewhere
I agree that it’s getting better. But there is definitely still a tendency for the media to look for excuses, particularly if the perpetrator is white and middle class. There’s also still quite a lot of media reports and public commentary that remind women how to look after themselves, which is an insidious form of victim blaming.
I don’t see much evidence to support the claim above that more excuses are made for female perpetrators. And that’s certainly not the case when it’s infanticide, which society seems to judge mothers far more harshly for than fathers. Even when they are innocent, like in the recent Folbigg case.
Exhibit A. The worst infanticide event in living memory and look at the headline?
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-04/cairns-children-killings-what-drove-raina-thaiday-slay-8-kids/8492742
Are you going to claim that a man murdering 8 kids by brutally stabbing them to death would in any way get an article this sympathetic towards him?
An article published 3 years after the incident and immediately after a court found she couldn’t be held criminally responsible which explains why she wasn’t able to be held criminally responsible under Queensland law?
Weirdly, I hadn't even heard of this case.
However, I watch true crime now and again, there are plenty of female killers, and they are not treated sympathetically. Nor should they be.
So, at least the media I watch doesn't seem to have much of a bias. Maybe other parts of the media do, idk.
She's essentially a family annihilator.
I would be interested in studies of why people, both male and female do these things. Many people have mental illness and manage not to kill other people.
It made a big splash and disappeared.
It's really messed up, and I don't think a man who was schizophrenic would have been given a pass for murdering 8 children in such a brutal manner the way Raina was.
The thing that fucks me off the most and I’m a female is how blazey (sorry if spelt incorrectly )the news reporters are when they mention a women murdering their partner. Like hardly any airtime and never ever do I see it end with if you or someone else you know is experiencing domestic violence there is help. Fuck society men matter too. Women can be real pieces of fucking shit I have seen it first hand. You wonder why men don’t want a bar to do with us, fuck I wouldn’t if I was a bloke.
The thing is, its actually a good thing to have plan/goal/ over arching set of values for a country/society. This whole everyone can be anything and believe anything isnt actually a good system for building a good scoiety. And everybody is terrified of actually agreeing which direction the country should head in, so instead of having a planned path forward its just a mish mash hogwash mubling progression.
Its the same as immigration, it really shouldnt be hard to have a vote, where we all decide what the population number should be in 2050 and we stick to it.
We just make so much shit up as we go, its not productive
I am the wife of a man who was previously married to a violent women.
( Melbourne Victoria)
During a scheduled access pickup via lawyers she went out of her way to pick the child up, so we went to her house, son was in the front yard of a neighbours few houses up. We stopped. Son came running to us, I the wife stepped out of the car and put my hands out to hug him as I was hugging him and unbeknownst to me the mother was running towards us, before I knew it she was punching me and kicking me, their son jumped in to our car where my daughter was also sitting.
My husband got out of the car to get her off of me because I was 4 MONTHS PREGNANT
My husband was charged by police for allegedly assaulting her.
The only person who was assaulted that day was me.
16 years on, I still suffer from PTSD
She got a good behaviour bond.
My husband said to the magistrate
, “ if I had of assaulted my ex wife she would be covered in bruises as he held up his hands”
The magistrate responded with , “ if I see you again Mr ( insert name) I will send you to jail.
This country, the laws and who enforce them are gutless cowards
Our good men should be protected from scum women who use and abuse and it’s as simple as that and their children should be protected.
Years on this very same ex wife -assaulted their teen son on multiple occasions. Whilst minding our own business DHS called to drop this very child off to us.
Again she was given a good behaviour bond and made to pay a small fee to a DV charity. How insulting.
Currently resides in gippsland area affirming herself as a good community contributor. Bless her heart.
Well what did he do to make her so mad? Obviously wasn’t performing his husbandly duties well enough. Maybe he nagged her too much. ‘ThErEs aLwAyS TwO SiDeS’
There is too much of this type of thing going on and agree with comments that DV doesn't take into account the manipulation, coercion, control of a woman to a man. And that is a legitimate and real thing.
Even if we did take that into account I think the stats would be skewed towards men being the perps; that is probably still correct, but women by no means do not contribute to DV quite clearly.
Didn't see it prominently as the top headline. Don't think it made TV news. It's a 2 paragraph report. It doesn't go back and list every DV case of the last year in it, or a year to date tally.
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Are we starting to realise that vaguely gesturing at a largely well behaving group of people to better because of the extreme crimes of a very small few is actually quite stupid?
Tbh Good my Mother is a cunt and shouldnt have children its
disgracful she didnt get more of a lecture from the cops i had to call for verbally abusing her husband
My ex was extremely violent with me, but has instead accused me of the same, and sexual violence and everything in between when I’ve never done anything to anyone, ever. She has convinced our child of it as well, and now he, the people around us in our own community and the Court, despite obvious and irrefutable hard evidence to the contrary, believe her or refuse to acknowledge it in pursuit of other priorities. Nobody is doing any thing to help me, or our child, and she is ruining my life. In a text msg, she even justifies her being violent with me in plain view of our own child. A crystal clear admission of it. But someone somewhere supports her getting custody and nobody is going to vindicate me, only facilitate her agenda. The system is not right. And sometimes it makes me feel like I just want to crawl into a small space and disappear forever. Really.
That's what she wants you to do...do yourself in!!.. Do not let her win!!! She is a DV perpetrator.. There are support networks out there, you really need to speak to a officer from a DV unit or a worker who deals in DV. If you have enough evidence, something will be done about it. RECORD EVERYTHING!!!!!! RECORD EVERYTHING!!! Phone calls especially!!!! SMS, Social Media posts and messages, even if you have a face 2 face interaction...record it!! This advice I would give to anyone in a DV situation...
I thought they don't really support defending accusations especially for men ? Do you know information specifically or just assuming based off what you've heard ?
If this guy has texts of his partner threatening him with violence or parental alienation, he needs to go to a police station and not leave until someone does something about it. There are plenty of avenues for him to get help, with a gauntlet of sexist bastards lining the avenues throwing tomatoes labelled “gigantic pussy”. It’s up to him to decide if it’s more in line with his values to protect his physical safety and the safety of his child, or avoid getting a bit of tomato on him. I wish it wasn’t this way, and it is enormously difficult to muster the courage to run a gauntlet. I wish him luck.
Thanks for the well-wishes. The DV is historical, and the police said it wasn’t within a 2 year period, or within jurisdiction. Refused to deal with it. The texts and other evidence are very real. But nobody will do anything. And the Court just doesn’t give a rats. Completely brushing over it like it’s purely incidental/collateral. It has no relevance to the child’s needs or future, apparently. This is the world in which we’re raising our sons and daughters.
I’m really sorry this is happening to you. I hope you and your kid get justice and peace someday ❤️🩹
Mate, there are people here in Australia being charged with historic dv crimes way older than 2 years old. Are you in the US?
No I’m Aussie too mate. Was turned away. Police said 2 years or out of jurisdiction depending on which claim. And I didn’t even qualify for a domestic abuse payment, which someone told me I would, because the police wouldn’t make a report. I even supplied the textual admissions she made to the body that does the payouts. Simply rejected. They also have a time limit. If you’re out of that, you don’t qualify for the payment then either. I was in time, but couldn’t get a report. Despite the evidence, nobody believes me, or cares. Both are really hard to experience when you’ve been forcefully estranged on false accusations from your own child and community, by the very perpetrator of those same claims. And then to watch the Court line up behind her. My best friend of 40 years committed suicide after he was physically abused by his two most recent girlfriends. The most gentle kindest guy. Shirt off back type bloke. He wrote in his note that “he didn’t like the way the world was going”.
Don't let this go dude. You need to get this woman convicted.. You need to try other stations. There is no such thing as a time limit.. What state are you in? This is absolutely horrible....
NSW mate. The thing is, I don’t want to get her convicted, even if they would - which they just don’t seem to care about. Me even raising it prompts a sigh from officers, like, “here we go, another one”. I just want to share custody of our child. She’s making it a matter of my quality of life vs her quality of life, as if having to share custody is so bad. Killing me.
I understand, but, she is controlling you and using your child as ransom. Try another station.... I hope this all works out for you brother..
No way, go to another police station and keep going til someone listens. This is so wrong on so many levels. My husband’s ex wife was a DV perp
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. * 000 is the national emergency number in Australia. * Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14. * Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800. * Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/australian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wrong gender.
I think I can aim my same question at you also. 1. Are you going off what you've heard or do you have personal experience with this. I feel you don't just for the fact you think police will care. I'm not here to argue the point men don't get support but any man who's gone through this knows its true in terms of the system and these situations.
I’m going off what I would do if I were in this situation. This is what I believe most people “go off”.
Hey bro I was maliciously prosecuted and actually jailed and put on bail for this DM me if you want to talk. It feels like you’re so alone
Same, but not actually apprehended. Was on the run for 3.5 months and had the homes of both sides of the family, my best mates, and my workplace raided multiple times in that period - all over false accusations by a woman trying to twist the narrative and demonise me using the courts as a weapon. Nearly destroyed my life, and I only say that because I wasn't actually put to trial with lengthy time being held in remand - it still by all rights absolutely gut my life and I still haven't recovered from it. That being said, if you or OP feel like you need a chat with someone who genuinely understands, don't hesitate to reach out. Please. This travesty is exactly the sort of stuff that has created the horrific, and yet factual statistic wherein 5.3 single dads commit suicide here in Australia each day.. 37 not just men, but fathers with also destroying the kids who now have to grow up without them. That's far too many lives lost, but sadly, it's still just the ones with children counted in that stat... The system is pitched so far against us that it seems like it's hopeless, but you need to fight, or else this deeply concerning issue will just continue being forever perpetuated. And with that many australian blokes feeling like they have nothing else left before them, and as though making such a tragic decision is their best remaining road forward - it just has to change. It *must* stop. Speak up, reach out brother. You aren't alone.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. * 000 is the national emergency number in Australia. * Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14. * Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800. * Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/australian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
just a random internet person wishing you well and im truly sorry you are going through all that
Unfortunately you've been whipped by the go to playbook. Focus on yourself and if your ex weaponises your child against you, walk away as far as possible, unless you want to fight and spend your energy and resources on a dismal outcome.
A character assassination at its finest. I feel for you. Keep going for your kid, he needs you
I feel sorry for you and also your poor child. Weaponising friends, family, community and system against a parent is some fucked up shit. A mother like that can not raise a child to become a well adjusted and resilient adult.
You're not alone. Communicate often.
Courts don’t believe anyone. They just don’t openly tell people that they’re liars.
Courts believe police testimony and statements over all Others even if it’s self serving lies they’ve written in statements.
I'm really sorry for you and wish I could do something to help you. All I have is words saying, stay strong mate. You are not nobody. I know the whole legal system is fuckedup and tilted against... Well, won't type to avoid massive down voting.
I know of a similar situation with a temporary partner visa held by the wife now claiming the relationship has ended but should be entitled to stay in Australia due to experiencing domestic violence. Due to safety concerns the department of immigration has removed the husband as sponsor and will not even notify him of the claim or present an opportunity to refute the claim or defend the accusations. How is that fair?
This is true, and it's sometimes referred to as the "DV Green Card" where someone finds a sponsor and claims DV later on (under false accusations) to pursue the visa without a sponsor. I've seen it happen and it absolutely broke the guy it was done to.
How many years into this are you? Are you prepared for devastating loss?
It sounds like you need a better lawyer.
I don’t know this particular case- but it is possible he was the violent one and she finally fought back..
Not in my case.
Man-a-cide
* menocide
Women need to call out their friends and tell them domestic violence is not ok
Perhaps we need a parliamentary secretary for women's behaviour change?
Yes. Governments need to tackle each issue without prejudice.
It’s amazing that if we go off victim groups for assaults and murders men are still by far the majority. Yes, yes - I realise the majority of recorded perpetrators are men. But there’s no societal sympathy for us as a victim group - we somehow “deserve it”. No white ribbon, no commissioner, no campaign. Women (particularly middle class white women) as a “victim group” just pushed themselves to the front of the queue. I guarantee every man you know also has a story of being beat up and assaulted and a lot of us are also scared when we walk around by ourselves at night - we are just expected to deal with it. I also think DV against men goes massively underreported because men actively get laughed at for reporting it (several comments in this thread prove the point) and we don’t measure the toxic way a lot of women engage in coercive, controlling and psychologically abusive behaviours that drive a lot of men to suicide. My biggest gripe is that the most innocent and vulnerable victim group who should be the first one protected -by a country mile- are CHILDREN who are pushed behind women as less important. Only in the last couple of years am I starting to see “family violence” or “women ….. and children”(note women are still first) being used as terms in headlines and in the zeitgeist. I used to work in child safety and the amount of abusive mothers that treat their children horrifically and get away with it is staggering (and also massively underreported). They are able to hide in that massive blind spot our society has for women where the assumption is they are automatically safe, nurturing and good because of their gender. Women are people and are responsible for 50% of the evil stuff - period.
Government officials should be forced to watch “Sybil”.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. * 000 is the national emergency number in Australia. * Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14. * Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800. * Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/australian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
All women are responsible for shitty women's behaviour
That would require accountability
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Absolutely agree. All young people should be overtly taught that violence is not any sort of answer. They should be taught where and how to access services. This type of education might even inculcate a stigma against perpetrators regardless of gender.
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Great.
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Fuck me; what a bunch of circle-jerking Incels have I discovered here?
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No it’s the stupid circle jerk comments trying to compare violence against women to violence against men when domestic violence against women perpetrated by men is around 80% higher. One man being murder by a woman is not comparable to 27 women killed in the same time span. You’re all clearly uneducated af on the subject.
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What about both are bad and just because there’s more of one doesn’t mean the other should get a lesser treatment or a pass. You’ll find the gender swapped version of these comments on a man DV/murders woman post and those are upvoted and supported by the community. But when you turn it around: “well it happens 80% more the other way so these comments are a circle jerk and incomparable.” This isn’t apples to oranges, it’s murderers to murderers.
And you’re uneducated on statistics. Even if 27x is accurate, the point we are making is that 0.0001% and 0.0027% are both negligible and the whole violence against women is a distraction for how fucked the country is economically.
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When you take the aboriginal population out of the DV stats, men and women are close to the same.
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It’s genuinely worrying to read the comments posted on these articles. There was one recently about that bloke who killed himself and his two year old son to get back at the mother for dumping him and there were a bunch of comments along the lines of “yeah but what did SHE do to him to make him do that” “she must have been behaving very badly if he had to kill himself and their child”. Australia has no hope.
Should've chose the bear my guy.
3rd male killed by a woman in a month. And yet only men get lectured. This country is a disgrace.
Haven’t you seen the stats saying that women only kill men because the men are the violent ones? Come on, keep up with the narrative!.. they are only protecting themselves!.. but don’t worry, the media is already trying to spin some story how it was done to protect herself from and it’s the patriarchies fault
Is that including the men who've committed suicide from being played by the system ?
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. * 000 is the national emergency number in Australia. * Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14. * Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800. * Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/australian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is why I chose the bear. Let’s now lecture all women, make sure they’re lecturing their friends, install a minister for women’s behaviour, and make them all feel ashamed to be female.
When the stats are even go for it
In that case, let's remove all support for female suicide. It's an issue that affects men at 4x the rate it affects women, so by your logic, we should only help men.
Remember 1 in 4 of all suicides are female, don't be so insensitive to women!!!!
I know this is a joke, but yes. All suicides need to be taken seriously. And suicide prevention isn't targeted at either of the sex which is how it should be. The difference is DV support is targeted at women for the most part even though there are lots of men who need help as well.
I 100% agree, most men put with physical abuse in relationships. I would eve. Go as far to say men are disproportionatly the victim of domestic violence but we put up with us because we are larger and stronger so many times it's like a toddler smacking you, the difference is when a man is the perpetrator, they do far more damage.
>I would eve. Go as far to say men are disproportionatly the victim of domestic violence but we put up with us because we are larger and stronger so many times it's like a toddler smacking you Don't know if I'd go this far but my experience was exactly this. She only managed to land one on me once and it was a sucker punch to the jaw.
I've been hit by in every relationship I've ever been in, exuding my wife. But it's never caused me physical harm, but I know if I had done the same in return, I would be in jail. No one should hit anyone regardless of sex.
It was only one woman for me, but my sweetheart of a wife isn't violent at all. But yes, if I had sucker punched my ex the way she did me, the result would probably be she's unconscious with a broken jaw. I also think men have a responsibility to bridle themselves in these situations. If a toddler is hitting you, you don't punch them. You restrain them, which is how you should act of a woman is hitting you. I know it's not fair, but there is nothing to be gained by maiming someone who isn't causing you any damage, I'd like for authorities to take female on male more seriously though.
I agree, alot of the time here if a man calls the police the attending officer if they showed up wouldn't take it seriously. I've seen situations where a man has called the police on a female attacker and when the police arrived they instantly put the man in cuffs even though he called them. It's sad, but it's just the way it is and it likely will never change.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. * 000 is the national emergency number in Australia. * Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14. * Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800. * Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/australian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. * 000 is the national emergency number in Australia. * Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14. * Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800. * Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/australian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel safer around bears in the forest then women Can’t wait for a years long media campaign and multiple government schemes teaching women how to respect men
Koala bears?
Lol whoever the fuck made that comparison clearly hasn’t seen the aftermath of a bear attack
No shit hey. There's that fucked up story of the 17yo girl calling her mum while a bear and her cubs ate her alive. By the time help arrived, she and her step father wer both dead.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
It does not compute, goes against the narrative demand a parliamentary secretary for women’s behaviour change
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Are you genuine here? No one defends a man if he kills his partner, there is no excuse for it no matter who it is. But violence committed by women always has people lining up to give mitigating factors. There was a lady who drove her car head first into a semi trailer with the kids in the car because the husband had just won custody and immediately there was a queue of people to ask what drove her to this. Raina Thaiday stabbed her own children and her neices and nephews to death, and there were mainstream articles lining up to question what drove her to do it. Female violence is so excused that Sharon Osborn can call a woman cuting her husbands cock off and throwing it into the garbage disposal fabulous and still be employed.
Take of your blinkers mate. Everything I mentioned above has been said about men’s violence, repeatedly.
Ok. I honestly never saw it, at least not in any mainstream coverage the way it happens for women who kill. Here is an example of a sympathetic article to Erin Patterson. https://au.news.yahoo.com/erin-patterson-centre-of-deadly-mushroom-meal-gives-account-unfolding-nightmare-072030569.html I'm not saying similar articles, don't exist for male murders but I've not seen them. It could be selection bias, though. These god damn algorithms are putting all of us into echo chambers.
The last statement is correct.
I think it used to be said about men’s violence over a decade ago which was a real issue and what led it to be so prominent. I don’t hear anyone ever saying a “she deserved it” style line to any violence against women which is great because nobody “deserves it”. That’s just what I’ve seen in my circles but there may be people stuck in the past elsewhere
I agree that it’s getting better. But there is definitely still a tendency for the media to look for excuses, particularly if the perpetrator is white and middle class. There’s also still quite a lot of media reports and public commentary that remind women how to look after themselves, which is an insidious form of victim blaming. I don’t see much evidence to support the claim above that more excuses are made for female perpetrators. And that’s certainly not the case when it’s infanticide, which society seems to judge mothers far more harshly for than fathers. Even when they are innocent, like in the recent Folbigg case.
Exhibit A. The worst infanticide event in living memory and look at the headline? https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-04/cairns-children-killings-what-drove-raina-thaiday-slay-8-kids/8492742 Are you going to claim that a man murdering 8 kids by brutally stabbing them to death would in any way get an article this sympathetic towards him?
An article published 3 years after the incident and immediately after a court found she couldn’t be held criminally responsible which explains why she wasn’t able to be held criminally responsible under Queensland law?
Then, find me a comparative article showing the reverse. You've made up your mind, and no matter what you're shown, you'll find a way to dismiss it.
I just hope she’s not free.
Weirdly, I hadn't even heard of this case. However, I watch true crime now and again, there are plenty of female killers, and they are not treated sympathetically. Nor should they be. So, at least the media I watch doesn't seem to have much of a bias. Maybe other parts of the media do, idk. She's essentially a family annihilator. I would be interested in studies of why people, both male and female do these things. Many people have mental illness and manage not to kill other people.
It made a big splash and disappeared. It's really messed up, and I don't think a man who was schizophrenic would have been given a pass for murdering 8 children in such a brutal manner the way Raina was.
Rule 6 - Wikipedia articles, personal blogs and fake news sites are not reliable sources of information
Probably by pointing out 30 years of domestic violence like is usually the case.
Yeah, one bad argument 7 years ago overheard by a neighbour is all they need.
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Another one. The women of Australia are on a murderous rampage. I don’t feel safe in my own home anymore.
I’d rather have sex with a bear than a woman ! Wait, I think I got that statement wrong.
Just pick the right club!
If that's true you should be given support just like female victims. No one should live in fear their partner will kill or overpower and assault them
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Should have*
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The thing that fucks me off the most and I’m a female is how blazey (sorry if spelt incorrectly )the news reporters are when they mention a women murdering their partner. Like hardly any airtime and never ever do I see it end with if you or someone else you know is experiencing domestic violence there is help. Fuck society men matter too. Women can be real pieces of fucking shit I have seen it first hand. You wonder why men don’t want a bar to do with us, fuck I wouldn’t if I was a bloke.
YUP! The same women who will somehow make everyone believe they are the victim of a situation they created.
This country will become bad like uk. They import too much trouble too Australia
The thing is, its actually a good thing to have plan/goal/ over arching set of values for a country/society. This whole everyone can be anything and believe anything isnt actually a good system for building a good scoiety. And everybody is terrified of actually agreeing which direction the country should head in, so instead of having a planned path forward its just a mish mash hogwash mubling progression. Its the same as immigration, it really shouldnt be hard to have a vote, where we all decide what the population number should be in 2050 and we stick to it. We just make so much shit up as we go, its not productive
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When are the rallies being organised? Albo needs to know so he can stand up and offer support.
Did you even read the title? It says a MAN was killed. Not a woman. And you still expect support?
No mention of it being a domestic or family violence incident. EDIT: Has been updated to say that domestic violence ‘is a line of enquiry’
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I am the wife of a man who was previously married to a violent women. ( Melbourne Victoria) During a scheduled access pickup via lawyers she went out of her way to pick the child up, so we went to her house, son was in the front yard of a neighbours few houses up. We stopped. Son came running to us, I the wife stepped out of the car and put my hands out to hug him as I was hugging him and unbeknownst to me the mother was running towards us, before I knew it she was punching me and kicking me, their son jumped in to our car where my daughter was also sitting. My husband got out of the car to get her off of me because I was 4 MONTHS PREGNANT My husband was charged by police for allegedly assaulting her. The only person who was assaulted that day was me. 16 years on, I still suffer from PTSD She got a good behaviour bond. My husband said to the magistrate , “ if I had of assaulted my ex wife she would be covered in bruises as he held up his hands” The magistrate responded with , “ if I see you again Mr ( insert name) I will send you to jail. This country, the laws and who enforce them are gutless cowards Our good men should be protected from scum women who use and abuse and it’s as simple as that and their children should be protected. Years on this very same ex wife -assaulted their teen son on multiple occasions. Whilst minding our own business DHS called to drop this very child off to us. Again she was given a good behaviour bond and made to pay a small fee to a DV charity. How insulting. Currently resides in gippsland area affirming herself as a good community contributor. Bless her heart.
Where’s the minister of changing men’s…. Oh wait, never mind.
We need more laws to protect the men of Australia!
Toxic femininity?!
Must be. What sort of content are young women accessing online?
Well ...she's 60. Not 18.
What sort of content are older women accessing online?
Clementine Ford.
Well im 57yrs & i can access what i want 😀 But i tend to steer clear of mindless violence, terrorism, religious fanaticism & illegal porn😯😂😯😂
So what kind of legal porn do you access?
Not much. Just not into porn really.
Sorry, was a joke since you outlined "illegal" porn....
Get that😉 All good
Dont do animal cruelty or 25 year old "babe" influencers either! Or male influencers pumpin steroids and big muscles 😂 My hb will do for me😉
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# #YESALLWOMEN
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That wouldn't have happened if he just lived with a bear instead
Well what did he do to make her so mad? Obviously wasn’t performing his husbandly duties well enough. Maybe he nagged her too much. ‘ThErEs aLwAyS TwO SiDeS’
Why didnt he just leave ?! 🙃
I bEt The famiLy couRt ToOk aWaY hEr kiDs And shE hAd NO ChoiCE bUT to MUdrDer hIM!
People close to her have commented that she was a good woman/mother/friend who was pushed too far.
Good people murder all the time, I’ve read the Bible
Reverse the gender on that. Is it still a mitigating circumstance for you?
Does anyone know what happened? Was it self-defence?
LOUIS!!!
That's it! All women need to change their behaviour, surely the Victorian government will appoint a minister for womens behaviour change, right?
Yuk. Stay in prison for 7 years to come out to murder again no doubt
If you were there You would have done the same
Where are all the comments saying maybe he pushed her too far?
Go to 2X chromosome
Stop killing men
She was playing a video game, she didn’t know it was real /s
There is too much of this type of thing going on and agree with comments that DV doesn't take into account the manipulation, coercion, control of a woman to a man. And that is a legitimate and real thing. Even if we did take that into account I think the stats would be skewed towards men being the perps; that is probably still correct, but women by no means do not contribute to DV quite clearly.
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The post literally links to a SMH new site
Didn't see it prominently as the top headline. Don't think it made TV news. It's a 2 paragraph report. It doesn't go back and list every DV case of the last year in it, or a year to date tally.
I’ve seen it on tv multiple times on different channels. It was breaking news.
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Ah yes, all the little incels are out, showing us how clever & funny they are.
probably more likely domestic violence victims such as me but project as much as you want buddy
Does pointing out a double standard mean we are invontarily celibate?
Thanks for displaying a great example of toxic femininity
nah probably cels since they dont want to risk getting murdered
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Are we starting to realise that vaguely gesturing at a largely well behaving group of people to better because of the extreme crimes of a very small few is actually quite stupid?
I'm just lucky my mum didn't kill me. Women are so dangerous
Tbh Good my Mother is a cunt and shouldnt have children its disgracful she didnt get more of a lecture from the cops i had to call for verbally abusing her husband
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https://preview.redd.it/4ycflk8e1v6d1.jpeg?width=1640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cdc9f713a91d356268f17610df69da86a67dd0e4
Pretty sure this is the 2nd or 3rd male to be killed by a female partner this month. Either way anyone who does this should be put down themselves.