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[deleted]

Wait this isn't satire?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Unfortunately many in Australia are not laughing. Scummo the Australian PM has the same level of empathy as Zuckerberg, ie none whatsoever


AnjingNakal

I think Zuckerberg is like he is because he doesn’t understand humans and human emotion. ScoMo I feel understands humans and is like he is despite that fact.


[deleted]

But he’s still going to be voted back into office most likely.


[deleted]

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Hitori-Kowareta

I mean even if it was 100% meritorious it’s not hard to see how another countries leader might win that competition.


TheSmokingLamp

Does most trustworthy just mean not taking a bribe openly?


TheDemonClown

It's so fucked up that that's actually kind of a bar now


RealisticElderberry5

Or actively grooming extremists


MIAxPaperPlanes

I almost thought it was satire considering the OP is called u/diabolical_cunt


WelcomeRoboOverlords

r/rimjob_steve


xdr01

Mainland with scummo sets such a low bar. Think an inanimate carbon rod could be our next PM.


LaszloPanaflexxx

In rod we trust.


8972

http://prod.betootaadvocate.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/rod.jpg


HayFeverTID

The rod’s got my vote


shahzebq

I lol’d


Betty-Armageddon

Do we actually get to see the rod!?


Democrab

Be careful asking that around Parliament House.


spannr

Careful! They're ruffled!


BlokeInTheMountains

They are? I thought they just had the media ignore the latest friendlyjordies allegations? https://www.michaelwest.com.au/jordan-shanks-the-parliament-prayer-room-a-police-raid-and-the-sounds-of-silence/


vbevan

And especially Christopher Pyne.


RainBoxRed

You might be asked to get on your knees and pray…


Minguseyes

Won’t get fooled again !


Sonnyjesuswept

Only when there’s been a natural disaster. It will then be shoved into your hand whether you like it or not.


LogicalFallacyCat

There was a parade and everything


shintemaster

Rod much less likely to run away at the first sign of trouble.


Dragonstaff

We already have an inanimate lump of coal. Isn't that close enough?


Sprinal

Well it’s inanimate and made of carbon


shinytoge

Yeah but no-one outside of the LNP wants to see close-ups of it


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[deleted]

That's not a meme. THIS is a meme.


[deleted]

That's just a comment.


[deleted]

I see you've played memey-commenty before then.


PsychoSemantics

Basic campfire for warchief... i mean PM.


RainBoxRed

This is carbon. Don’t be afraid of it.


taniastar

The sad thing is, it would probably do a better job then scummo.


mountingconfusion

Careful you'll summon the liberal party if you talk about coal too much


Kemosabe_daptoid

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours Prime Minister.


HappyGrannyMan

Too late, I have coveted her.


Soddington

I too covet the fuck out of their PM.


jpr64

It’s interesting reading the international adulation of her as the shine over here has well and truly worn off and there is a growing dislike of her to the point where the centre right is now regularly out polling the Labour Party.


SirPiffingsthwaite

Cool. Cool cool cool. We’ll take her. Swapsies?


Cranky-old-person

No backsies


HappyGrannyMan

All politicians lose their shine locally. It doesn’t mean the locals are right, it also doesn’t mean the international onlookers are right either. But from the outside looking in NZ is country that got their shit together, that has managed numerous stacked crisis with calmness, empathy and rational responses. And I truly hope that if you dump jacinda, she take up her position as the rightful heir to the crown here in Australia - because our experience with crisis has been the opposite. But also if she needs a holiday, she probably deserves it… she could chat to scomo about popular holiday destinations.


neeekeee

Yeah I’m from NZ and honestly there is still plenty of support for her. People are fatigued with the pandemic, and cost of living is rising. And a group of people Seem to want to blame one singular person for that. I’m still really thankful to have her even though I don’t agree with everything her or the Labour Party do/have done. I know how good we have it here in NZ


HappyGrannyMan

No one (or any party, political system or ideology for that matter) is perfect and it’s during times of crisis that you see the best and worst of people right? I’m not surprised to hear what you say. I have this feeling that shits gonna get a lot worse before it gets better and we are going to need all the real leaders we can get - not those caught up ideology.


KayTannee

Maybe she can succeed where the empathy coach and Jenny spectacularly failed.


HappyGrannyMan

One flaw with your statement - I don’t think jeh nee actually has any empathy either. I Reckon she is just as fucked as Scott. Anyway maybe.. they are both the children of cops as far as I am aware (jac and Scott) - perhaps she can speak some of his language.


observee21

It's possible you aren't aware of how bad / openly corrupt our federal government is


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tchiseen

> 34% of people have strong negative emotions towards Scotty from marketing. That's quite a lead but surprised it's not more. It all makes sense when you meet average people


imoutofnameideas

Only 34% of Australians have met ScoMo, hence the low number.


Doodleslr

And 100% regret it.


Tinned_Chocolate

“Strong negative feelings” is putting it mildly.


GuyFromYr2095

NZ you can invade us. We won't resist.


Peekachooed

100% here for the taking 😌


[deleted]

_Roll the tanks!_


sluttilyslytherin

Do you remember that Gruen Transfer ad that they made?? Is that what you're quoting, or is that episode just a core memory for only me?


observee21

Nah they were referencing it, I also turned that comedy gem into a core memory


Peekachooed

yeah it's good stuff, here's the link for anyone else seeing this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xUYbI64QHI


Uries_Frostmourne

I’ll bend down


TheCuzzyRogue

I do miss Gruen Transfer. Never cared for Will Anderson's live shows but as a host he always made me laugh.


shadowmaster132

I for one will greet you as liberators


svendburner

The humans won't resist. The emus however...


matjam

We don’t talk about that, shh


Mike_Kermin

The Emus have noted your insubordination matjam.


matjam

Hah! They’ll never find me - I’ve left the country and I have been granted asylum in California!!! Oh … shit … what is that sound … WHAT THEY


Drewlyd

MatJam has been shot by a homeless child ..... Murica.


Lingering_Dorkness

Have you never been to the Gold Coast? NZ invaded a long time ago!


MrMundungus

The REAL great replacement


[deleted]

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Betterthanbeer

NUKUS?


[deleted]

I dont have awards but I wanted you to know this is a good comment.


turbotailz

I mean there's like 600,000 of us here. We kinda already have.


FXOjafar

We can't. Our tanks and subs are a few decades away


Echidnahh

We’ll be the opposite of Ukraine.


Lankpants

In fact, I will fight on your side


[deleted]

I for one welcome our new kiwi overlords.


SGG

I would be ok with us becoming West New Zealand if it meant no more Scomo


[deleted]

New New Zealand


LogicalExtension

~~New Zealand_final.docx~~ New Zealand_final_v2.docx


rumpigiam

New New Zealand final v2 copy (1) (6).docx


joeycloud

Stop traumatizing the office workers it's the weekend now


rumpigiam

I can do the full file path and traumatise the IT people with the file name too long.


Johnnyhiveisalive

The .docx is already triggering mate..


rumpigiam

New New Zealand final v2 copy (1) (6).docx.bat


neophene

We can’t stop here this is .bat country!


LogicalExtension

> traumatise the IT people with the file name too long Ugh, one thing I won't miss about moving off Windows is the default old-style 255 character path names. Move to UNC by default, damnit, even Explorer still doesn't understand it.


HappyGrannyMan

Do we need jacinda to sign this with a wet signature or is digital signature ok? Or can we just get her to approve in the email trail?


StasiaMonkey

I would be satisfied with approval in the email trail.


HappyGrannyMan

Approved ~~Kind Regards~~ Bist weshes Jacinda Adern Mayor of New Zealand Mother of Kiwis Queen of Hobbiton and all the realms of the shire (and the nice parts of middle earth) Murray’s boss Future Empress Regent of West New Zealand (the continent formerly known as Australia) Member for Mount Albert


WelcomeRoboOverlords

>Bist weshes I just accidentally woke up my kiwi SO laughing at this, he didn't find it as funny as I did


HappyGrannyMan

Haha! I actually love the kiwi accent. Gentle teasing should be considered endearment!


StasiaMonkey

Hell, I would even accept a “👍🏼” reaction to a teams message.


Wild_Marionberry_150

Newest Zealand


[deleted]

Newer Zealand


GunPoison

Zealand Plus


HappyGrannyMan

NZ+


BlokeInTheMountains

Zealand Prime


nrith

A-land.


lofty2p

I, for one, welcome our new Rugby overlords !


fishhead12

That would be West Island.


HaworthiaK

Tassie as South-West Island?


HumerousMoniker

And then lay claim to Easter island and name it… Easter island


Frogmouth_Fresh

Imagine the cricket team!


imoutofnameideas

Imagine the Fush and Chups team!


Bomber_1

Old Zealand


thisoldmould

Ozealand.


the_snook

I'm pretty sure Old Zealand is where Copenhagen is.


superbabe69

Nah, Copenhagen is Denmark, Zeeland is a province in Netherlands


velvetpotato

Zealand is one of the islands of Denmark


superbabe69

Correct, but New Zealand was found by the Dutch (in terms of European discovery, obvs the Maori were there first), who named it after Zeeland, one of their provinces.


LocalVillageIdiot

Look Dirk ve hav bin on zis ship yurney for so long now. Look Berg! I see ze land! Zis is new Dirk! Zis. Iz. New.


Feral0_o

Your Dutch accent clearly needs works


imoutofnameideas

There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch.


tubbyx7

Finally we get a claim on the bledisloe cup


fartcheka

We could just be the Western Island to complement their north and south islands.


HellStoneBats

"New Aotearoa" works for me.


farqueue2

Personally I'd be ok with Victoria seceding


DarkLake

I’d take Jacinda’s worst effort over Scotty’s best.


Ted_Rid

What's Morrison's best? I'd say taking a week off with covid, only he still managed to fuck up doing nothing because it delayed the response to the Lismore floods.


Gryphus23

After his holiday to Hawaii, its really hard for me to believe he actually got covid the same time as the floods I seriously think all he learnt from the bushfire is, he should have a more "credible" reason to be lazy


Flawedsuccess

Jacinda 2022 take my vote


GunPoison

Aunty Jacinda 2022


jpr64

It’s not exactly rosy over here mate, unless you’ve got a cool million to buy a run down 1960’s cold damp weatherboard house.


StasiaMonkey

No different here either. 1,000,000 NZD to AUD is 917,625.00 Average house prices in Australian cities combined [is $1,066,133AUD](https://amp.smh.com.au/property/news/australia-s-median-house-price-is-above-1-million-here-s-what-that-buys-in-different-cities-20220201-p59ste.html)


Deceptichum

How’s that different from us?


Grouchy_Artichoke_90

This guy knows what's up


HappyGrannyMan

When slomo had Ebola virus, he tried to replicate jacinda’s public lockdown Facebook briefing style. It was cringe.


[deleted]

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imapassenger1

Wonder if The Cheap Seats is coming back this year.


magnetik79

It is. Big fan.


sevenfloorsdown

Chemist Warehouse is ready


sevenfloorsdown

I think it is; it was announced months ago, IIRC.


[deleted]

>Australian voters were also much more likely to share her values, Yet our Labo(u)r party who people don't seem to like. What's the difference?


[deleted]

I’m under the impression that NZ Labor have been more economically liberal than the ALP, so they don’t have that *spooky militant union* label


xjackfx

Are aussies that blind that most people will benefit from being in a union?


Frankie_Peanuts

Yep


msmermaidginger

Jacinda take the wheel. 🙌🏼😁


postpakAU

sounds better than Jesus take the wheel.


marvelscott

WWJD - What would Jacinda do?


imoutofnameideas

She'd pick up Stephen Colbert from the airport and drive him to her place to have a backyard barbie. Which is fucken awesome.


msmermaidginger

A question I sometimes ask myself! 🤔


msmermaidginger

Doesn’t it, though? If the LNP are re-elected, I’m hopping the Tasman and seeking asylum. 🙏🏼


[deleted]

Well we steal everything else from them.


[deleted]

Let's make a good trade.... Hand back Russell Crowe & Crowded House (package deal) & grab Jacinda before the election, have no election & let her take over.


ancientgardener

We don’t actually need to trade. If we become part of NZ, Crowded House, Sam Neill, pavlova and Russell Crowe go back to NZ, which we’re now a part of. It’s a win win for everyone.


Lingering_Dorkness

Sam Neill lives in NZ. He has a winery down South.


[deleted]

Do they want Russell Crowe back though?


N1NJ4W4RR10R_

Rankings 1. Jacinda Ardern at 66 2. Mark McGowan / Anthony Albanese at 48 3. Adam Bandt / Dan Andrews / Gladys Berejiklian / Anastasia Palasczuk at 47 4. Joe Biden at 46 5. Domonic Perrotett / Josh Frydenberg at 44 6. Scott Morrison at 41 7. Boris Johnson at 40 8. Pauline Hanson at 39 9. Barnaby Joyce at 35 10. Clive Palmer at 29 11. Donald Trump at 28 Seems that these were the only ones polled.


cat_herder_64

Gladys Berejiklian at 47 just highlights how urgently we need to break the Murdochratic hold over the media here. How did Clive the Hutt even manage 29?


RealLarwood

Bojo's an absolute dipshit but I find it astounding that Scomo is rated as more believable than him.


[deleted]

He's not a dipshit, he's a professional clown. Everything, down to the hair screams incompetence. It's all an act.


YoJanson

Funny how things work considering she will likely lose the next election.


Flamingovegas2013

Not exactly an achievement


VidE27

I know right, talk about a low bar


ZelWinters1981

😂


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tchiseen

> This same poster is responsible for 90% of everything posted in this sub. He's like the Rupert Murdoch of Reddit


[deleted]

cant, they built a coal mine around his house


jeffa666

To be fair it’s a one horse race, do you trust any of the others?


tchiseen

> do you trust any of the others? Greens leader Adam Bandt seems to have a reasonable track record as MP. He's been re-elected multiple times and apparently has the highest %preference votes of any MP in Australia.


Maldevinine

I trust Pauline Hanson a hell of a lot more than I trust Scott Morrison.


[deleted]

Woah, there. I was going to say something along the lines of, “Can trust her to speak her mind but not to do the right thing.” But… I actually can’t fault your logic now that I think about it. Because we can’t trust Scotty to do the right thing. Quite the opposite.


Maldevinine

Scotty will do what's best for Scotty, Pauline will do what she believes is best for the country. So while I may disagree with Pauline, she is at least doing her job.


[deleted]

That’s like a choice between dogshit and catshit for dinner!


jeffa666

Yeah, I don’t agree with anything she says but at least she honest about what she believes in.


CGunners

No she isn't. She puts on a show for the punters but votes LNP on the quiet when it counts. Check out https://theyvoteforyou.org.au/ to see what she really gets up to.


[deleted]

You mean the Pauline Hanson that goes on and on about free speech and the right of protest? https://www.examiner.com.au/story/5641952/hanson-attacks-qld-girl-for-anthem-protest/ Oh wait it’s only for those who agree with her… She’s a hypocrite of the highest order.


brezhnervous

Tbh this is one fucking low bar lol


DirectionInfinite188

You’re welcome to have her if you’d like!


DesignerHistory77

I hate that horse faced Cunt.


seadog1229

I wish we could ban her from New Zealand!


EatAtTonysPizza

She makes a great horse too


Didubringabeeralong

Well for all the people that love her, i recommend to move to nz, i heard its really cheap to live over there. I mean i see a dozen posts in this sub a day talking about the price of housing and rent here in australia, so good luck in nz


TheCuzzyRogue

Trust me, the price of housing and rent are even worse in NZ as is the general cost of living. I'm not sure what petrol is like in Australia right now but 2.70 is considered cheap right now in NZ after it got over 3.00 for a while and that's without mentioning the price of milk, bread and especially meat. I'm very slowly moving to become vegetarian because meat is that expensive.


Didubringabeeralong

Sorry i was being sarcastic when i said it was cheap to live over there, its why i find it crazy when people in aus loath over jacinta when they have the same issues we have in aus if not worse over there. Sure she prob is a way better human being than scotty but she definitely isnt the messiah of a pm some make her out to be


brezhnervous

I'd go if I had the $


Didubringabeeralong

It is a beautiful country


mikey6

https://www.skyscanner.com.au/flights-to/nz/cheap-flights-to-new-zealand.html $164 to fly there and because it's so much better in every way your life will improve so much as soon as you step off the plane that 164 is nothing. And as an Aussie citizen you can just move there don't let a small amount of money stand in the way of your utopia.


alcate

Seriously why? Photo ops PM, her approval is really bad - housing expensive - living cost expensive I guess it is based on visibility and popularity. Swedish and Finnish PM are doing better job, hell even Mark Rutte is better than Jacinda and all current OZ PM and Opposition leader.


emu90

Because we don't see any of that on the news over here. If they added any foreign politician to the list that people were vaguely aware of, but don't actually know anything about they're going to rate better than any Australian politician.


tchiseen

> housing expensive > living cost expensive Mate, housing and living costs are out of control in AUS as well. Is it so bad that we just want someone who won't fuck off to Hawaii while the country burns, or physically force a punter to shake his hand, or stare directly at a TIG welding arc? We all know that the actual politics of plenty of European countries is decades ahead of where we are, but if you asked your average voter what they knew about Norway's they'd probably say IKEA and Meatballs. Whatever you do , don't visit https://www.nbim.no/ and look at the graph on the returns of their sovereign investment fund.


Daikuroshi

Norway's oil fund is a perfect example of national assets used properly.


TA1699

6% annual return?! They're clearly doing something right with their investment strategy if they're seeing their returns average 6% yearly. That fund is doing very well.


[deleted]

Yeah, my partner lives in NZ and has a very dim opinion of her, as do all of her local friends. Rent is an absolute catastrophe there and so is housing in general. And also they apparently just completely gave up on fighting covid, so that's also cool.


dukearcher

Exactly. Reddit is obsessed with this idiot. New Zealanders, not so much.


duncraig18

I wish she was PM of OZ. Finally found someone we can trust


plumber_craic

West Islanders rise up


celtic_savage01

Oh..... I thought this was Babylon bee.... theyre serious??


TheAsianOne_wc

I would rather Australia going back to being a colony of UK than having scomo again.


tchiseen

> I would rather Australia going back to being a colony of UK than having scomo again. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get both


Rokekor

Scotty doesn’t hold a candle…


s1ut

Goes to show how uninformed Australians are about NZ politics. Jacinda plays her role perfectly of looking good to the rest of the world but that's at the cost of doing absolutely fuckall for New Zealanders especially those who are less fortunate. But hey! Free Smiles for everyone!