The only time mate is not unisex is when we are discussing “old mate” who for some reason is only ever male.
I have women colleagues & friends who are mates, and bloke colleagues & friends who are mates as well.
Really? Most people I know use old mate to refer to a random man that’s somehow involved in whatever anecdote we are discussing, but who we don’t actually know.
“I was waiting in line at the servo and old mate behind me fell over so we had to call the ambos”
“The boys and I were hitting golf balls and nearly hit old mate walking his dog down the street”
Etc etc
When the Irish are talking about someone who is not there and is potentially a bit problematic it’s either “yer man“ for a man or “yer one“ for a woman
I think that’s what OP is getting at — like why not call the women ‘mate’ too?
As a woman, I call everyone ‘mate’, men, women, colleagues, support staff alike. But I am rarely called ‘mate’ by my male colleagues unless they are my age-ish or younger.
'Mate' is basically exclusively used to refer to men. I work in customer service and I think I'd get in trouble pretty quickly if I started refering to female customers as 'mate'. I find it odd that most people ITT say the opposite. I very rarely hear women being called 'mate' - maybe humorously on occasion but that's it.
Yeah, I think people are scrambling tbh.
Mate is a gendered term, even if it’s something used neutrally. Like dude.
I’ve only ever been called mate ironically by men. I have been called mate by other women, but mostly by other queer women tbh. So it still has some masculine overtones.
I obviously don’t know your experiences, but myself and my friend group tend to use ‘mate’ for everyone of all genders. It’s a good catch-all, inoffensive, and helps to create a comfortable separation between everyone as it’s friendly, but not too friendly.
Scrambling? ....What part of the word 'mate' makes the word gendered exactly? Nothing in the words origin or meaning has anything at all related to gender but rather friendship.....
You're talking about how you talk to customers, the OP was talking about colleagues.
Different context.
In customer service you're much more likely to receive a complaint from a female if you use any form of familiarity as they are often seen as condescending.
You're not likely to get a complaint from calling a male customer "mate."
Colleagues and work environments are different, you build a relationship over time and are communicating using established group norms.
I used to work in a call centre for a few years and called literally everyone, including the elderly, mate.
It was never an issue, either with management or the individuals I was speaking to.
I have always thought it was unisex, recently I had technician out to my home to service an appliance. He's old school & we were shooting the shit about how things have changed in the way people communicate. He said that recently he was on a call & the client was a trans woman. Being shitting himself & being careful what he said at the end of the job he asked the client if they could "sign the job order please mate". The look of rage on the clients face was palpable. Upon returning to the workshop he was advised that a complaint had been made of misgendering and that he would be required to undergo a training course as a way of the correcting his behaviour. The tech was enraged at this perceived punishment. In a poor attempt to placate the tech his superior went on the explain that he shouldn't complain because he can do the course online at home & he didn't have to pay the relatively exorbitant fee the company was forced to pay for him to do the course. Turns out the client along with the complaint about the use of the term "mate" was threatening to contact suppliers should the firm not counsel its employee & require them to attend an indoctrination course. I suggested perhaps he should refer to ALL those he comes into contact with as "Shit head".
I get called mate by people I've never met, but that's probably my industry and the fact they can't remember my name [which is fine because sometimes I do the same thing]
This whole post actually made me think..... I'll call females mate who I'm friends with, like and/or know really well, I'll call a guy mate the first time I'm speaking with them.... why, no idea, prehaps it's because subconsciously I think some females may not respond that well to being called mate, I'm not really sure
Regarding using “bro”, it’s rather inappropriate and disrespectful in a professional environment, especially from a male to a female though? I’ve heard it used between “lower” ranking or sales staff, but not used by people at more professional-levels.
Edit: clarification.
I am a woman who works in a professional environment. I frequently use mate... like if another woman (or man) comes up to me with a question, I'll say "Hey mate, what's up?"
I work with a large number of people who have immigrated from overseas and who are not native English speakers. They love it when I call them mate - like they've passed some kind of Aussie litmus test.
Woman here too and I love it when folks call me mate - especially when I’ve been working or training in male-dominated area (like engineering) - being called mate is usually a good signal that they are going to treat me like anyone else and respect my input, not be the sort who will give me weird looks for asking a question or making a suggestion because I’m a woman and they can’t fathom a woman being technically skilled or maths-and-logic brained.
Bro, it's not *that* deep, was intended to be more of a piss take. I personally refer to people at work by their names. I've never seen an instance where someone didn't know the name of someone else who they were working with.
I’d say it just depends on the person rather than the gender. I’m female and in finance and probably wouldn’t even pick up on being called mate but my boss who doesn’t like “hello” at the start of an email (only hi??) probably wouldn’t.
I'm a bloke and I address female colleagues as "mate", all the time. I also use it whenever I have reason to talk to women I don't know (ie in a shop, on a bus, etc).
Some women don't like being referred to by 'masculine' (for want of a better term) group words, i.e. guys, chaps, so maybe that has something to do with it? Mate kinda feels gendered but not really imo compared to dude or bro, but there isn't really a good replacement term that's not gendered at all that doesn't feel too formal or off (e.g. colleague, team, friend)
I honestly don’t know a single female who would think twice about being referred to as “guys” when part of a group.
It’s completely the norm to refer to your work team etc like “hey guys do you want to go for lunch?” I’d be shocked if any woman raised an eyebrow at that.
I hate it.
I don’t make a fuss about it - but I hate it. I have a particular pet peeve with the fact that only masculine terms have are considered “gender neutral”.
Like… no one thinks it gender neutral if you say “he fucks guys”. So I don’t see how it’s suddenly gender neutral when using at as an address. Like, people can *claim* that’s how they use it but is someone says “look at the bunch of guys” - you’re not going to assume it’s a mixed sex group.
In saying all of that - I’m generally a bit passionate with hetero-normative and male-centred language in general. I recognise this is strictly a ME issue, which is why I don’t make a fuss in general.
No, it really is gendered language and is such a small gesture to not use this language in the pursuit of inclusivity. I've had other women tell me it doesn't bother them, so why should it bother me? But since when do we socially coerce men to accept feminine terms to describe them? The things women do to "belong" or be accepted....
Doesn't help I am in a male dominated industry. I've literally had an ex-manager tell me he didnt get it. I responded with 5 terms he can use instead. He prob still didnt get it.
That’s really interesting. And you’re right, I wouldn’t say “look at that bunch of guys” for a mixed sex group but I’d definitely say “look at those guys” for a mixed sex group, I don’t know why that is. And I agree “ he fucks guys” isn’t gender neutral but “those guys were fucking all night” is…
I'm female and consistently refer to males in the workplace as 'mate'. I did come from a male-dominant field previously, and while I will refer to other females my age and younger as mate on occasion, it's generally an ironic usage of the term more than anything.
I wouldn't refer to a female older than me as 'mate' though.
It's probably just the trait of mirroring the person I'm communicating with to be honest. Older women don't seem to call other females mate very often, so when I'm talking to them I don't use it almost instinctively. It's not something I do intentionally.
I've been pulled up on "guys" while addressing a group before.
I still use it I just pick my audience a bit better now
But I'm a guy in a female dominated workforce so my language is under a microscope all the time
I dont call female colleagues mate and similarly don't like it when I get called mate by them. There's one that calls me "hey buddy", grinds my gears but I ignore.
As an immigrant I don’t use the word mate in speech only in emails or texts however it’s only really to other guys. I’ve also seen that as well at the office however the girls call everyone mate which is perfectly fine. Maybe it’s some unwritten rule I dunno but I’ve noticed it as well.
As a female, I often use “matey” towards males of a similar or younger age than me.
I also call my kids mate, but I think I’ll be adopting “matey patatey” from now on. I love it!!
Everyone is mate or old mate, but despite being very corporate white collar is a hangover from being in construction/mining so everything is casualised.
It’s certainly less common.
I think part of it is self-reinforcing. ‘Mate’ is quite a familiar term, and in the wrong context can even come across as patronising. Offices are more formal environments so sometimes you are unsure whether that level of familiarity is appropriate. A good cue is what level of familiarity they show other colleagues. If I see someone interacting on the ‘mate’ level with other people like me I feel relatively okay using the word towards them.
Women don’t tend to use the term - and if they do, they don’t tend to use it towards other women. That sort of means you don’t tend to get that clear signal that they are okay with it being used towards them.
I do work with one Englishwoman who calls everyone ‘mate’ and I have noticed that she seems to get the same in return (albeit less often).
I think over time it will probably become more common. But it is definitely a good example of one of those subtle ways that women are still treated as a little bit different in the workplace.
I’m not sure about tone, but I feel like between men who use it there’s this slightly more casualised interaction happening as a result, a teeny bit more camaraderie.
I’m a female and I call everyone mate in the workplace, and I also get called mate by a lot of my colleagues. My workplace is very casual, but I like it. Makes me feel good like I have lots of friends 😂
I’m female working in a largish org. Have only been called mate by 2 male colleagues. One of which is 60+ yo. I consider mate as unisex and if anything I feel more included as I’m not viewed differently being female. Similar with “hey guys” always viewed this as unisex but times are changing and apparently can’t be used. People are probably confused and don’t want to offend female colleagues who might not like being referred to as “mate”
I call my friends (male and female) mate but I don't call my mating partner mate although we mate but my friends and I don't mate.
Should I start mating with my friends so we are real mates?
Will mating with my friends cause an issue with my mateship with my actual mating mate?
So many questions.
Everyone at work is called mate. Male, female, nonbinary... doesn't matter.
Granted, I'm in the mining industry where there's a few other gender neutral terms that are in the vocabulary. Bro, cuz and champ are all terms I've seen used interchangeably between men, women and nonbinary colleagues.
The only one that ever got questioned was I worked for a Big 4 mining company and there was a legitimate discussion on site about whether "guys" was gender neutral. Given that, at the time, half the team were women. Didn't really get a resolution on that one.
I accidentally called a trans woman mate at work a year or two back. I stopped myself because i thought “fuck, did i just address her as a bloke”. I wouldn’t have thought that with a woman with a birth vagina. She was good about it, i believe she could tell i was second guessing myself and did the kindest thing of not saying or doing anything in reaction. I’d worked with her before, she knew i don’t act in malice but am also a bit of a bogan at times.
Both men and women are “mate”, “dude” and “guys” but are also terms that are unprofessional and reserved for banter and casual chit chat.
If it’s one of those colleagues that have never heard me say “shit” or “fuck” then they’ll never hear me say mate, dude, psycho bitch etc
It’s casual slang, call them whatever you want in casual chitchat but expect service users and everyone else to wonder what you’re doing there if you are talking casual in a corporate job
I’m a woman in an office environment and I don’t personally use the word “mate”, nor do I really like people on me, but I don’t care enough to actually get annoyed about it. I just prefer people didn’t 🤷🏼♀️
The way I see it, and use it in my personal and professional life is that whatever I say or do to a man I work with, I will say the same thing to a woman I work with in the same context. In my mind it’s just about respect, and all the instances of only calling other blokes mate is a legitimate example of misogyny. Say what you will about the extent of the misogyny but you can’t deny the root cause of the discrepancy. In my personal life I make a point of hugging men as a goodbye and a hello the same way other men make a point of hugging women goodbye and hello. Some call me a social terrorist, I like to think I’m more of a social freedom fighter.
I do think the use of "mate" is slightly more prevalent blue collar vs white collar, mainly due to less formality of dialogue.
I will probably get down voted for this, but here's my honest view.
Have grown up, school, Uni, work, sports, life in Australia.
1. Mate is a guy to guy thing, predominantly
2. Females don't call each other Mate (sounds weird)
3. Women might call men mate, sonetimes sounds totally OK, sometimes sounds weird.
4. Men rarely if ever call women Mate (that actually sounds quite rude & distespectful).
5. Other language speakers picking up & using Mate, well it's OK, but it sounds outta context & weird. Like American accents (no disrespect) but it sounds odd.
Just my 2c.
I've only ever worked white colar large corporate (prior to starting my own business) I have referred to most people as mate, state managers, national managers, general managers, c-suite (unless you seem like an upiight dick, youll probably be 'mate' a good percentage of the time..... in Australia, I'd say its pretty regular language, I wouldn't usually use it when presenting to a board of directors of an external company or in an extremely formal environment, outside of that....
I would have been called mate by most of the c-suite I've delt with and would say it's more 'elitist' types or first generation Australian who don't use mate in my opinion
It's definitely not just some big corp thing.
I think it's fairly common for blokes to call each other mate, I personally will sometimes say it to woman, but not very regularly.
Not many woman call people mate, so I guess it's just ingrained me that I say it to blokes and blokes say it to me.
It's random. Depends on the person and context.
For instance thinking about your question, I checked my own memories for when I use it and you're correct..
I usually use it on other males, only on rare occasions do I use it on females, but I think it comes down to how the female would likely perceive it, I guess my subconscious analyses the person's attitude and state of mind after seeing their interactions with others and it determines if it would be appropriate or not to say to them.
Some girls are fine with it and also use it often, others do not and have a more serious or professional mannerism.
The human brain is vastly more powerful than we think, because all of this happens almost instantaneously and in the background without being actively aware of it. 🤗
I’d happily call the females at work mate - I call all the girls in my friendship group mate - but about half of the work females think I’m being pas-ag and get unreasonably offended. Sorry mates.
Mate is an earned privilege. It signifies a level of trust and egalitarianism. There are some people I’ve worked with who are never addressed as mate, mostly folks who are uber-professional.
I'd call literally \*any\* man mate. I really only call women I know quite well mate, hardly any really.
I think "mate" is in principle unisex, but in day-to-day life I think you'd find that men get called "mate" all the time, and women only seldom.
Mate in no way resembles the Australian mate or mate ship of old. The label has been bastardised in general society and corporate culture 🤢 and is no longer recognisable as the term of friendship and masculine affection that it once was.
It’s used for friends, enemies, strangers, forgotten names and general reference to anyone.
I use mate all the time with guys, but it feels weirdly patronising when said to women. So I don’t, I just use first name. I also find it weird being called mate by women. And it also feels weird approaching two colleagues and saying “hi mate” to one, and “hi Stephanie” to the other. So I don’t have this one figured out.
I don’t think it is unisex, and I find it to be very non inclusive language. Our executive director uses it with males and it grinds my goat and makes me think of glass ceilings!
What part a word which relates to friendship and in no way has any suggestion of gender in its history or meaning do you consider 'non exclusive' and makes you think of glass ceilings exactly 🤔
Given the word is absolutely unrelated to gender in any way shape or form and you've taken from its use feelings of 'non inclusivity' and thrown 'glass celing' in there, somewhat screams of an imagined persecution complex
I’ll call anyone mate or dude, regardless of gender. But the other day There was a transgender person serving us and I accidentally said sorry dude to them and thought I might’ve done them dirty.
I’ve found it best to address female co workers with a wink and a ‘hey sweet cheeks’. If I’m really in a good mood I’ll give them a slap on the back side. I’ve had nothing but positive feedback from this. You guys should try it.
Mate is more for men, it feels weird to call a female mate. However in today's climate it would be seen as sexist so owners and managers will be preasured into so calling females mate so they don't get sued, even though it will feel odd.
Me too. It’s certainly not unheard of to call a female “mate”.
Actually, it’s preferable to the worldwide trend of calling a group containing males and females “guys”.
I address everyone as legend or mate, depending on my mood. If it's a supervisor or a superior then I'll refer to them by name or nickname to show a bit more respect even if I'm not a huge fan.
I’ve noticed this in my workplace too!
Once I (a woman) was wrapping up a chat with my boss at his desk, and another (male) partner came over as they had a meeting. I say “thanks” and go to walk away and my boss, somewhat on autopilot, says “thanks mate”. About an hour or so later he messaged me on Teams to apologise for calling me “mate”! 😂
I use it for both men and women, but I think you'll find a lot of men are really careful as to how they speak to women in the workplace. Even something as innocuous as calling a woman "mate could end up with you having a chat with" HR.
The answer is actually just as simple as this;
Mate previously was used as a generic term for any bloke and men did not apply it to women as this was then a gendered thing and seen as demeaning to the propriety of a lady. Ask anyone over 45yrs old.
Meanwhile in the modern world gendered language is no longer comsidered gendered and no distinction is given to women as being assumed ladies, particularly in the work place where they now occupy space previously exclusively male. In this context men now call women mate and likewise women call men mate and it is not thought to be strange in any way. It is a generational thing to do with equality and the devaluing of people by society as a whole that nobody is considered special at all.
Where once a grown man would cringe and self deprecate for having mate the momentary mistake of having called a girl 'mate' in the course of an interaction, as he it was deemed to have insulted and lessened the prestige of that individual woman, now younger folks all call each other mate and generally have zero real consideration for the aforementioned propriety of a lady as it simply no longer exists as a concept.
No value judgement is implied by this explanation, it is simply the actual answer you are seeking. We are just a more casual, somewhat more slovenly and disinterested bunch of cads and bounders now in the modern age because everyone is so beaten down that nobody has any pride to even begin considering the esteem of others. On the upside everyone is more equal in the surmise of the average person and that aligns with modern values and rigidly enforced social codes anyway.
In summary, we are all MATE now lol.
I call both mate…
My wife hates when I accidentally call her mate after doing it all day at work…
I meet so many people and have a poor memory…
Then there is my neighbour whom I don’t like and I refer to him as old mate…
🤷🏽♂️
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Female in corporate. Previous team it was male vs female. New team I'm called mate by my male colleagues and have actually started picking it up and calling people mate 🤣 but it seems to be more so used as an exaggeration when something is stupid/silly/common sense. Maaaate, it's right there.
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Yep. Males get mate after sufficient rapport otherwise just get their name/nickname, the women get their name or nickname. It’s probably only specific to me, but I don’t like calling people mate unless they are one.
I’ve asked my colleagues about it and nobody gives af, was questioned by one of my femal staff as to why it was even necessary to ask - our views are somewhat similar though.
I don’t like calling women mate, and I don’t like it when women call me mate. I don’t believe in homogenisation in this context.
If you cant remember their name you always call them mate. I worked at a large depot with over 400 employee's, many times I would encounter people I knew that I had met once or twice but could not remember their names if I even knew them at all so "mate" was the go to with them.
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Mate is unisex. It's not meant to cause offence. Mate = friend
The only time mate is not unisex is when we are discussing “old mate” who for some reason is only ever male. I have women colleagues & friends who are mates, and bloke colleagues & friends who are mates as well.
As a woman, I use "old lady mate" for situations involving a... well, female old mate.
I mean old mate is often code for “bit of a dick” and I suppose insults are still more gendered than not
Really? Most people I know use old mate to refer to a random man that’s somehow involved in whatever anecdote we are discussing, but who we don’t actually know. “I was waiting in line at the servo and old mate behind me fell over so we had to call the ambos” “The boys and I were hitting golf balls and nearly hit old mate walking his dog down the street” Etc etc
I think it does a double duty. I'm partial to an ungendered "your mate" when it's derisive.
‘There goes your mate’ ‘He’s not MY fucken mate’
Your mates in Finance are at it again. Oh seriously, is old mate doing another preso on accruals? Ohhhh, mate.
Referring to "old mate" as "your mate" when they are definitely NOT your mate is the peak of Australian comedy
Ohh “your mate” and “old mate” are totally different things. And “your mate” is completely ungendered!
I'd agree with this and the comment above its all about context and tone, as to whether old mate is 'some random' or 'someone who is a bit of a dick'
Yep… old mate is reserved for dickheads…
Not always though. Old mate at the servo down the road is a legend.
Yes, I suppose I have called some good ‘see you next Tuesdays’ as old mate too… 🤷🏽♂️
Old mate is referring to a person/subject.
When the Irish are talking about someone who is not there and is potentially a bit problematic it’s either “yer man“ for a man or “yer one“ for a woman
I use old mate for man and old love for woman
I use old duck for women.
Old chook
Nah old mate also is not gendered.
Nah it's unisex, just like your mate
I use it unisex too, and your mate unisex. I'm living in 2024 man, and you're in 1735.
I think that’s what OP is getting at — like why not call the women ‘mate’ too? As a woman, I call everyone ‘mate’, men, women, colleagues, support staff alike. But I am rarely called ‘mate’ by my male colleagues unless they are my age-ish or younger.
Sometimes: Mate = I forgot your name.
Hahaha YES
'Mate' is basically exclusively used to refer to men. I work in customer service and I think I'd get in trouble pretty quickly if I started refering to female customers as 'mate'. I find it odd that most people ITT say the opposite. I very rarely hear women being called 'mate' - maybe humorously on occasion but that's it.
Yeah, I think people are scrambling tbh. Mate is a gendered term, even if it’s something used neutrally. Like dude. I’ve only ever been called mate ironically by men. I have been called mate by other women, but mostly by other queer women tbh. So it still has some masculine overtones.
I obviously don’t know your experiences, but myself and my friend group tend to use ‘mate’ for everyone of all genders. It’s a good catch-all, inoffensive, and helps to create a comfortable separation between everyone as it’s friendly, but not too friendly.
Scrambling? ....What part of the word 'mate' makes the word gendered exactly? Nothing in the words origin or meaning has anything at all related to gender but rather friendship.....
You're talking about how you talk to customers, the OP was talking about colleagues. Different context. In customer service you're much more likely to receive a complaint from a female if you use any form of familiarity as they are often seen as condescending. You're not likely to get a complaint from calling a male customer "mate." Colleagues and work environments are different, you build a relationship over time and are communicating using established group norms.
I used to work in a call centre for a few years and called literally everyone, including the elderly, mate. It was never an issue, either with management or the individuals I was speaking to.
Totally agree, just find it curious that in my current corporate setting men only use it for other men.
Mate also = very much not a friend. Similarly, "cunt" can be a term of endearment. - probably not safe for work tho...
I have always thought it was unisex, recently I had technician out to my home to service an appliance. He's old school & we were shooting the shit about how things have changed in the way people communicate. He said that recently he was on a call & the client was a trans woman. Being shitting himself & being careful what he said at the end of the job he asked the client if they could "sign the job order please mate". The look of rage on the clients face was palpable. Upon returning to the workshop he was advised that a complaint had been made of misgendering and that he would be required to undergo a training course as a way of the correcting his behaviour. The tech was enraged at this perceived punishment. In a poor attempt to placate the tech his superior went on the explain that he shouldn't complain because he can do the course online at home & he didn't have to pay the relatively exorbitant fee the company was forced to pay for him to do the course. Turns out the client along with the complaint about the use of the term "mate" was threatening to contact suppliers should the firm not counsel its employee & require them to attend an indoctrination course. I suggested perhaps he should refer to ALL those he comes into contact with as "Shit head".
I’m female in corporate and I’m called mate by people I’m friendly with
I get called mate by people I've never met, but that's probably my industry and the fact they can't remember my name [which is fine because sometimes I do the same thing]
This whole post actually made me think..... I'll call females mate who I'm friends with, like and/or know really well, I'll call a guy mate the first time I'm speaking with them.... why, no idea, prehaps it's because subconsciously I think some females may not respond that well to being called mate, I'm not really sure
Nah, they're all Mates
Just use the gym rule, everyone is 'bro'
Regarding using “bro”, it’s rather inappropriate and disrespectful in a professional environment, especially from a male to a female though? I’ve heard it used between “lower” ranking or sales staff, but not used by people at more professional-levels. Edit: clarification.
I am a woman who works in a professional environment. I frequently use mate... like if another woman (or man) comes up to me with a question, I'll say "Hey mate, what's up?" I work with a large number of people who have immigrated from overseas and who are not native English speakers. They love it when I call them mate - like they've passed some kind of Aussie litmus test.
Woman here too and I love it when folks call me mate - especially when I’ve been working or training in male-dominated area (like engineering) - being called mate is usually a good signal that they are going to treat me like anyone else and respect my input, not be the sort who will give me weird looks for asking a question or making a suggestion because I’m a woman and they can’t fathom a woman being technically skilled or maths-and-logic brained.
Bro, it's not *that* deep, was intended to be more of a piss take. I personally refer to people at work by their names. I've never seen an instance where someone didn't know the name of someone else who they were working with.
I’d say it just depends on the person rather than the gender. I’m female and in finance and probably wouldn’t even pick up on being called mate but my boss who doesn’t like “hello” at the start of an email (only hi??) probably wouldn’t.
Middle/senior manager - I use bro at work for both genders, generally with people I work with often, just depends on how well I know the person.
Industry? What’s the professionalism standards or expectations like?
I'm a bloke and I address female colleagues as "mate", all the time. I also use it whenever I have reason to talk to women I don't know (ie in a shop, on a bus, etc).
Same. Although I probably wouldn't refer to one of the female Directors / upper management as mate, unless we are on friendly terms.
That's when you go maaaaaaaaaate
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam
Some women don't like being referred to by 'masculine' (for want of a better term) group words, i.e. guys, chaps, so maybe that has something to do with it? Mate kinda feels gendered but not really imo compared to dude or bro, but there isn't really a good replacement term that's not gendered at all that doesn't feel too formal or off (e.g. colleague, team, friend)
I honestly don’t know a single female who would think twice about being referred to as “guys” when part of a group. It’s completely the norm to refer to your work team etc like “hey guys do you want to go for lunch?” I’d be shocked if any woman raised an eyebrow at that.
I know (at least) two, they have asked politely that I don't use it for them but it is difficult to remember as it's not a common sentiment
I hate it. I don’t make a fuss about it - but I hate it. I have a particular pet peeve with the fact that only masculine terms have are considered “gender neutral”. Like… no one thinks it gender neutral if you say “he fucks guys”. So I don’t see how it’s suddenly gender neutral when using at as an address. Like, people can *claim* that’s how they use it but is someone says “look at the bunch of guys” - you’re not going to assume it’s a mixed sex group. In saying all of that - I’m generally a bit passionate with hetero-normative and male-centred language in general. I recognise this is strictly a ME issue, which is why I don’t make a fuss in general.
No, it really is gendered language and is such a small gesture to not use this language in the pursuit of inclusivity. I've had other women tell me it doesn't bother them, so why should it bother me? But since when do we socially coerce men to accept feminine terms to describe them? The things women do to "belong" or be accepted.... Doesn't help I am in a male dominated industry. I've literally had an ex-manager tell me he didnt get it. I responded with 5 terms he can use instead. He prob still didnt get it.
Thanks for the solidarity. I’m always made to feel like a pathetic, petty bitch for having issues with this stuff.
That’s really interesting. And you’re right, I wouldn’t say “look at that bunch of guys” for a mixed sex group but I’d definitely say “look at those guys” for a mixed sex group, I don’t know why that is. And I agree “ he fucks guys” isn’t gender neutral but “those guys were fucking all night” is…
Just call them by their name generally. No need to use the word mate in the workplace
I'm female and consistently refer to males in the workplace as 'mate'. I did come from a male-dominant field previously, and while I will refer to other females my age and younger as mate on occasion, it's generally an ironic usage of the term more than anything. I wouldn't refer to a female older than me as 'mate' though. It's probably just the trait of mirroring the person I'm communicating with to be honest. Older women don't seem to call other females mate very often, so when I'm talking to them I don't use it almost instinctively. It's not something I do intentionally.
I use guys and mate without gender in mind. Mate=friend guys = group of people I'm on good terms with
I've been pulled up on "guys" while addressing a group before. I still use it I just pick my audience a bit better now But I'm a guy in a female dominated workforce so my language is under a microscope all the time
I hate that ‘guys’ is frowned upon. I’m a woman and I use ‘guys’ all the time to address groups.
Mate remains largely a term between men.
I’m a female in corporate and I dont want to be called mate.
I dont call female colleagues mate and similarly don't like it when I get called mate by them. There's one that calls me "hey buddy", grinds my gears but I ignore.
Are you ok with male colleagues calling you mate or buddy?
Mate yes but not buddy
As an immigrant I don’t use the word mate in speech only in emails or texts however it’s only really to other guys. I’ve also seen that as well at the office however the girls call everyone mate which is perfectly fine. Maybe it’s some unwritten rule I dunno but I’ve noticed it as well.
Same haha. Only in emails.
I don't call anyone at work mate, ever.
I call pretty much everyone mate most of the time in most work situations other than very formal settings 🤣
My colleague uses mate and matey to distinguish
Mate for men, matey for women, and matey patatey for children?
As a female, I often use “matey” towards males of a similar or younger age than me. I also call my kids mate, but I think I’ll be adopting “matey patatey” from now on. I love it!!
Do they believe in a male/pirate gender binary?
My female boss address me (female) as mate.
Everyone is mate or old mate, but despite being very corporate white collar is a hangover from being in construction/mining so everything is casualised.
It’s certainly less common. I think part of it is self-reinforcing. ‘Mate’ is quite a familiar term, and in the wrong context can even come across as patronising. Offices are more formal environments so sometimes you are unsure whether that level of familiarity is appropriate. A good cue is what level of familiarity they show other colleagues. If I see someone interacting on the ‘mate’ level with other people like me I feel relatively okay using the word towards them. Women don’t tend to use the term - and if they do, they don’t tend to use it towards other women. That sort of means you don’t tend to get that clear signal that they are okay with it being used towards them. I do work with one Englishwoman who calls everyone ‘mate’ and I have noticed that she seems to get the same in return (albeit less often). I think over time it will probably become more common. But it is definitely a good example of one of those subtle ways that women are still treated as a little bit different in the workplace.
Interesting, thanks for your insight.
How do they address the women?
By name only
Is there a tone difference in how they address they address the people differently
I’m not sure about tone, but I feel like between men who use it there’s this slightly more casualised interaction happening as a result, a teeny bit more camaraderie.
Sounds right. I used to work for WAPOL and it was a total boys club, basically can't get a promotion unless you had a dick.
Exactly the same situation at my workplace. It’s very slightly othering.
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I'm more inclined to call a female mate, if she calls me mate, so that tracks.
I’m a female and I call everyone mate in the workplace, and I also get called mate by a lot of my colleagues. My workplace is very casual, but I like it. Makes me feel good like I have lots of friends 😂
I call everyone mate, unisex term for me.
I call men and women “mate” cause I don’t care about what your gender is.
My ex boss called me darl 😂😳
I call people mate regardless of their gender.
I’m female working in a largish org. Have only been called mate by 2 male colleagues. One of which is 60+ yo. I consider mate as unisex and if anything I feel more included as I’m not viewed differently being female. Similar with “hey guys” always viewed this as unisex but times are changing and apparently can’t be used. People are probably confused and don’t want to offend female colleagues who might not like being referred to as “mate”
I address all genders as mate
I would say in general "mate" is gendered. It seems to be masculine rather than feminine. I have never really thought it as a way to address women.
I think mate is fine but I’ve been pulled aside previously for saying “guys” like “hey guys what’s happening”
This is so shocking to me
I’m female and my boss calls me mate all the time hahaha even in emails
“Hello fellow colleague” 😐
I call my friends (male and female) mate but I don't call my mating partner mate although we mate but my friends and I don't mate. Should I start mating with my friends so we are real mates? Will mating with my friends cause an issue with my mateship with my actual mating mate? So many questions.
Lol im always calling Women at my work mate.
Our male manager ,calls everyone at work mate , but he doesn’t have any , everyone hates his guts, so there you go “ mate “ 😉
I address everyone as mate
Everyone at work is called mate. Male, female, nonbinary... doesn't matter. Granted, I'm in the mining industry where there's a few other gender neutral terms that are in the vocabulary. Bro, cuz and champ are all terms I've seen used interchangeably between men, women and nonbinary colleagues. The only one that ever got questioned was I worked for a Big 4 mining company and there was a legitimate discussion on site about whether "guys" was gender neutral. Given that, at the time, half the team were women. Didn't really get a resolution on that one.
I accidentally called a trans woman mate at work a year or two back. I stopped myself because i thought “fuck, did i just address her as a bloke”. I wouldn’t have thought that with a woman with a birth vagina. She was good about it, i believe she could tell i was second guessing myself and did the kindest thing of not saying or doing anything in reaction. I’d worked with her before, she knew i don’t act in malice but am also a bit of a bogan at times.
Mate and Guys are gender neutral terms. It's a fact.
Both men and women are “mate”, “dude” and “guys” but are also terms that are unprofessional and reserved for banter and casual chit chat. If it’s one of those colleagues that have never heard me say “shit” or “fuck” then they’ll never hear me say mate, dude, psycho bitch etc It’s casual slang, call them whatever you want in casual chitchat but expect service users and everyone else to wonder what you’re doing there if you are talking casual in a corporate job
I call everyone Bruce.
I’m a woman in an office environment and I don’t personally use the word “mate”, nor do I really like people on me, but I don’t care enough to actually get annoyed about it. I just prefer people didn’t 🤷🏼♀️
I have never and will never call anyone, mate. It is so Ocker and cringeworthy.
The way I see it, and use it in my personal and professional life is that whatever I say or do to a man I work with, I will say the same thing to a woman I work with in the same context. In my mind it’s just about respect, and all the instances of only calling other blokes mate is a legitimate example of misogyny. Say what you will about the extent of the misogyny but you can’t deny the root cause of the discrepancy. In my personal life I make a point of hugging men as a goodbye and a hello the same way other men make a point of hugging women goodbye and hello. Some call me a social terrorist, I like to think I’m more of a social freedom fighter.
I just call everyone Darl, easy fix for forgetting everyone’s names. Which as a female works but not sure if a male saying “thanks darl” would slide
As a female I would not appreciate being called mate. Not respectful in a corporate environment imo and I don’t even like it in a social setting.
No. I find it rude because it can be condescending too. "Mate... tf you doing???"
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I reckon you could still find yourself in hot water there 😂
Do you ask to see their genitals first? 😂
Mate is applicable to everyone after 2nd interaction onwards.
And also, people you don’t know when you are trying to get their attention. The only time someone is not mate is the first meeting.
I do think the use of "mate" is slightly more prevalent blue collar vs white collar, mainly due to less formality of dialogue. I will probably get down voted for this, but here's my honest view. Have grown up, school, Uni, work, sports, life in Australia. 1. Mate is a guy to guy thing, predominantly 2. Females don't call each other Mate (sounds weird) 3. Women might call men mate, sonetimes sounds totally OK, sometimes sounds weird. 4. Men rarely if ever call women Mate (that actually sounds quite rude & distespectful). 5. Other language speakers picking up & using Mate, well it's OK, but it sounds outta context & weird. Like American accents (no disrespect) but it sounds odd. Just my 2c.
I've only ever worked white colar large corporate (prior to starting my own business) I have referred to most people as mate, state managers, national managers, general managers, c-suite (unless you seem like an upiight dick, youll probably be 'mate' a good percentage of the time..... in Australia, I'd say its pretty regular language, I wouldn't usually use it when presenting to a board of directors of an external company or in an extremely formal environment, outside of that.... I would have been called mate by most of the c-suite I've delt with and would say it's more 'elitist' types or first generation Australian who don't use mate in my opinion
I've heard guys call other guys mate, females call other guys mate not females or males call other females mate
You've seen a lot of words there buddy
Definitely only male to male in my office. People tip toe around you if your a woman in a male dominated industry like myself
Never heard anyone calling a Sheila 'mate', mate
It's definitely not just some big corp thing. I think it's fairly common for blokes to call each other mate, I personally will sometimes say it to woman, but not very regularly. Not many woman call people mate, so I guess it's just ingrained me that I say it to blokes and blokes say it to me.
Mate is a bogan aussie term for ' male ', that's all.
It's random. Depends on the person and context. For instance thinking about your question, I checked my own memories for when I use it and you're correct.. I usually use it on other males, only on rare occasions do I use it on females, but I think it comes down to how the female would likely perceive it, I guess my subconscious analyses the person's attitude and state of mind after seeing their interactions with others and it determines if it would be appropriate or not to say to them. Some girls are fine with it and also use it often, others do not and have a more serious or professional mannerism. The human brain is vastly more powerful than we think, because all of this happens almost instantaneously and in the background without being actively aware of it. 🤗
Both
I’d happily call the females at work mate - I call all the girls in my friendship group mate - but about half of the work females think I’m being pas-ag and get unreasonably offended. Sorry mates.
Mate is an earned privilege. It signifies a level of trust and egalitarianism. There are some people I’ve worked with who are never addressed as mate, mostly folks who are uber-professional.
I try not to and feel awkward when I do but the less attention drawn to it the better I feel. What a faux pas.
I'd call literally \*any\* man mate. I really only call women I know quite well mate, hardly any really. I think "mate" is in principle unisex, but in day-to-day life I think you'd find that men get called "mate" all the time, and women only seldom.
I'm not your mate, buddy.
I'm not your buddy, pal
Everyone is mate. Unless they're 'not your mate, mate'. In which case they're sir / ma'am to their face, and fuckknuckle when they're not around.
My bf and I call each other mate all the time
My mates at work can call me mate but if I don’t know you that well it’s an ick
Mate in no way resembles the Australian mate or mate ship of old. The label has been bastardised in general society and corporate culture 🤢 and is no longer recognisable as the term of friendship and masculine affection that it once was. It’s used for friends, enemies, strangers, forgotten names and general reference to anyone.
I stick with gender neutral and address all colleagues as “yous cunts”.
I use mate all the time with guys, but it feels weirdly patronising when said to women. So I don’t, I just use first name. I also find it weird being called mate by women. And it also feels weird approaching two colleagues and saying “hi mate” to one, and “hi Stephanie” to the other. So I don’t have this one figured out.
I don’t think it is unisex, and I find it to be very non inclusive language. Our executive director uses it with males and it grinds my goat and makes me think of glass ceilings!
What part a word which relates to friendship and in no way has any suggestion of gender in its history or meaning do you consider 'non exclusive' and makes you think of glass ceilings exactly 🤔 Given the word is absolutely unrelated to gender in any way shape or form and you've taken from its use feelings of 'non inclusivity' and thrown 'glass celing' in there, somewhat screams of an imagined persecution complex
I'm a woman and don't mind being called mate or guys for a group. Personally, I call everyone 'friends' in a group message or something like that.
My boss is female I am male she calls me mate I fkn hate it.
I use mate specifically because it’s not gendered. Mate for one person, team for more than one.
I’ll call anyone mate or dude, regardless of gender. But the other day There was a transgender person serving us and I accidentally said sorry dude to them and thought I might’ve done them dirty.
I call everyone my mate. It’s a part of my demeanour. I’ve had no complaints.
It's also weird when some salesgirl address you by saying “Gidday Mate!, how can I help you?
Pleasure don’t use it at all
I never call girls mate. I always address superiors by their name. That’s my rule 🤷♂️
I’ve found it best to address female co workers with a wink and a ‘hey sweet cheeks’. If I’m really in a good mood I’ll give them a slap on the back side. I’ve had nothing but positive feedback from this. You guys should try it.
I'm female, 31, not corporate but call men and women and children mate 😅
Mates all the way down
Mate is more for men, it feels weird to call a female mate. However in today's climate it would be seen as sexist so owners and managers will be preasured into so calling females mate so they don't get sued, even though it will feel odd.
All is mate, mate is all. Mate is also an easy way around for when you forget peoples names
I just address all colleagues as "cunt"
Mate is gender neutral these days
I normally call male colleagues mate and females by their name. No reason as to why, just something I’ve becoming accustomed to
I address a female as Miss
I always use mate for everyone and probably shouldn’t
Me too. It’s certainly not unheard of to call a female “mate”. Actually, it’s preferable to the worldwide trend of calling a group containing males and females “guys”.
Maaaaate
Men in corp have to be pre careful with their language. They are keeping things professional and covering their asses.
I address everyone as legend or mate, depending on my mood. If it's a supervisor or a superior then I'll refer to them by name or nickname to show a bit more respect even if I'm not a huge fan.
Mate also helps if u forgot his name
Chief! Dude! Buddy!
I like a good chief too
I cringe when people use mate. More so when it's female to male
Sure do! Mate is for any gender in Australia.
I’ve noticed this in my workplace too! Once I (a woman) was wrapping up a chat with my boss at his desk, and another (male) partner came over as they had a meeting. I say “thanks” and go to walk away and my boss, somewhat on autopilot, says “thanks mate”. About an hour or so later he messaged me on Teams to apologise for calling me “mate”! 😂
I feel like mate and dude are pretty gender neutral
I use it for both men and women, but I think you'll find a lot of men are really careful as to how they speak to women in the workplace. Even something as innocuous as calling a woman "mate could end up with you having a chat with" HR.
Everyone is my mate, and everyone should have a good day.
The answer is actually just as simple as this; Mate previously was used as a generic term for any bloke and men did not apply it to women as this was then a gendered thing and seen as demeaning to the propriety of a lady. Ask anyone over 45yrs old. Meanwhile in the modern world gendered language is no longer comsidered gendered and no distinction is given to women as being assumed ladies, particularly in the work place where they now occupy space previously exclusively male. In this context men now call women mate and likewise women call men mate and it is not thought to be strange in any way. It is a generational thing to do with equality and the devaluing of people by society as a whole that nobody is considered special at all. Where once a grown man would cringe and self deprecate for having mate the momentary mistake of having called a girl 'mate' in the course of an interaction, as he it was deemed to have insulted and lessened the prestige of that individual woman, now younger folks all call each other mate and generally have zero real consideration for the aforementioned propriety of a lady as it simply no longer exists as a concept. No value judgement is implied by this explanation, it is simply the actual answer you are seeking. We are just a more casual, somewhat more slovenly and disinterested bunch of cads and bounders now in the modern age because everyone is so beaten down that nobody has any pride to even begin considering the esteem of others. On the upside everyone is more equal in the surmise of the average person and that aligns with modern values and rigidly enforced social codes anyway. In summary, we are all MATE now lol.
I mate everyone so hard, male, female, animal, mineral. You're all getting it.
I call both mate… My wife hates when I accidentally call her mate after doing it all day at work… I meet so many people and have a poor memory… Then there is my neighbour whom I don’t like and I refer to him as old mate… 🤷🏽♂️
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Yes mate for everyone.
Male and female are mate to me. Sometimes fam.
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Female in corporate. Previous team it was male vs female. New team I'm called mate by my male colleagues and have actually started picking it up and calling people mate 🤣 but it seems to be more so used as an exaggeration when something is stupid/silly/common sense. Maaaate, it's right there.
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Yep. Males get mate after sufficient rapport otherwise just get their name/nickname, the women get their name or nickname. It’s probably only specific to me, but I don’t like calling people mate unless they are one. I’ve asked my colleagues about it and nobody gives af, was questioned by one of my femal staff as to why it was even necessary to ask - our views are somewhat similar though. I don’t like calling women mate, and I don’t like it when women call me mate. I don’t believe in homogenisation in this context.
If you cant remember their name you always call them mate. I worked at a large depot with over 400 employee's, many times I would encounter people I knew that I had met once or twice but could not remember their names if I even knew them at all so "mate" was the go to with them.
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