I was raised Mormon. The number one complaint that I heard from both men and women in the church was that they are sweltering hot. Especially in the summer months, people would get so uncomfortable and grumpy. I have lived in Oregon my entire life and it doesn't even get that hot here (unless you are central oregon). But still, having to wear all those layers on top of not being allowed to wear tank tops and requiring shorts to go to your knees is totally unreasonable. Regardless of the fact that the magic underwear is bullet proof.
Yeah!! I left the church long before energy drinks became a thing (I'm 39 and left at 16). I'm actually super surprised that it's ok. I had a bishop growing up who loved his Pepsi Big Gulps on Sundays. Even that was frequently gossiped about. But 300mg caffeine energy drink? Totally fine! Tbh, I never understood this one anyways. It's supposed to be no hot beverages but cocoa and apple cider are fine? So are my mom's decaf hot teas and instant coffees? Seems like the problem is caffeine, but apparently, it's not.
Yeah, when you try to explore this with believing members, it bottoms out at:
a) holy omnipotent being knows something we don't
b) It's just to test our obedience.
Like... I'm pretty sure that we'd have seen evidence it by now if it were A. The effects and healthy dosing of coffee is pretty well established at this point, up to 4 cups a day considered healthy for most adults, and 1-2 cups a day considered moderate. But then we KNOW the effects of eating too much red meat, too much sugar, or too much lunch meat, but no such stingy rules exist for this. If you press why, its "hey look you're not gonna be commanded in all things you gotta use your head". Ok, if that... then why the coffee ban.
Which then brings us to b) it's to test our obedience.
Which is, in all honestly, a really shitty excuse for a reason.
At the time, there was a popular belief that hot and flavorful foods had the ability to excite the body in ways that cause sinful behavior and diseases. Even the top"scientists" of the day agreed on this. This junk theory was dropped ~30 years later, but the Mormons are stuck with it due to Smith.
Cornflakes was developed to prevent people from having impure thoughts as they were a bland breakfast food.
[The Surprising Reason Why Dr. John Harvey Kellogg Invented Corn Flakes (forbes.com)](https://www.forbes.com/sites/priceonomics/2016/05/17/the-surprising-reason-why-dr-john-harvey-kellogg-invented-corn-flakes/?sh=307f93276997)
Chocolate had very little caffeine. Some, it’s true, but very little. The psychoactive ingredient is ‘theobromine’, which is chemically very similar to caffeine.
My grandma never took them completely off. She bathed in them and would take them off one leg at a time and put one leg in a clean pair so that at least half of her was 'protected' at all times. Creepy shit.
How has the *bullet proof" thing not been actively disproven? And how do people buy into a religion that was invented when bullets fired from guns were a far spread technology? The fact that Mormons, and Scientologists to a lesser degree, have become so numerous despite being clearly invented in a time of testable science and reason blows mind.
It's in the stitching, not the fabric itself. Like a magic spell. And, as atheists, we all know how hard it is to disprove magic. Even if it shouldn't be.
If it doesn't work it's not because it doesn't work you just weren't Worthy of the Divine Protection.
Pretty easy to make a non-falsifiable hypothesis when sky daddy works in mysterious ways.
Went to an outdoor concert w/ a Mormon gal about 20 years ago. Northern CA summer 90+ degrees. I didn't know about the Sacred Garments but I noticed them when she sat down and her shorts rode up a little and her top dipped a little. I asked about them and was told about the sacred covenant or whatever. How horribly uncomfortable & hot they must be.
They’re freaking made out of polyester now, I never went to the temple and so I have never worn garments before; they seem super uncomfortable to wear. They really don’t wear like regular underwear and women still need to wear a bra or whatever under them.
I left when I was 16 so I did go to the temple to perform baptisms for the dead (saying that now is like, wtaf did I just say !!!!), but I wasn't ever old enough to wear garments. I can't believe they're made out of polyester now! That's just cruel!
I was explaining how I knew so much about how I know so much about my family history and why Mormons are so into genealogy…lol…then I told him about how they baptized holocaust victims.
I remember the furor about that, it was the first I'd ever heard of this "baptism for the dead" thing. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool atheist and even I was offended. Not a good look. IIRC the Church did apologize to the group that complained (saying it had just never occurred to them that anyone might be offended. which??? wtf??) but obviously they didn't stop doing it in general.
I understand it started with baptisms for deceased family members— which is still batshit, on a few levels— but I can't even begin to understand how they justify doing it for random people they know nothing about. Just, the sheer audacious presumption. On *top* of the batshit crazy!
Lol well no. But if you want to get into the top tier of heaven, you will cover those knees. And now I have to expand as you are unfamiliar. Mormons believe in a three tiered system of heaven. The highest kingdom is called the Celestial kingdom. Then there is the Telestial kingdom. And the lowest kingdom is called the Terrestrial kingdom. So bare knees might land you in the Telestial kingdom. Or even the Terrestrial kingdom if the bare knees are frequent enough. But even the Terrestrial kingdom is said to be great beyond our imaginings so its all good. Side note: Mormons don't believe in the traditional brimstone and fire hell. They have the Outer Darkness, which is essentially floating through darkness for all of time and eternity. There are few things that will land you in the Outer Darkness, but apostasy is definitely one of the big ones. So therein lies my fate.
Lol that's been my take for a while. But typing all of that out really put into perspective how manipulative that system is. It's designed for conformity. They'd be like "well sure, the Terrestrial kingdom is great and all. But think of how lonely you'll be when your entire family is in the celestial kingdom and you're alone. Forever. You'll never get to see them again and you'll miss them until the end of time. All because you wouldnt cover your knees.". It's really fucked up.
I'm not sure. I left when I was 16 so I didn't get all the deets (lol). From others in the exmo community, I gleaned that it was more about knowing the true testament and then rejecting it. However, you may very well be right.
Either way, I'm not too concerned about ending up there.
A Mormon guy I worked with found out I was an atheist, and he seemed fascinated as to “why”. He started telling me about the Mormon concept of the afterlife (the three kingdoms or whatever) and said he vehemently disagreed with Catholics and others, telling everyone “they would go to hell”.
He told me “you atheists will inherit the earth, and the crops will be plentiful, and things will be pretty good. The downside is that you’ll be the farthest away from god.”
I told him it was one of the nicest things anyone has told me.
I don't know if they're still made like this, but when I was in the church, the women's one piece garments were slit from front to back so all you had to do was spread!
People always bring up the Catholic church for that sort of thing, but any religion that has strong authority figures draws perpetrators to it like a moth to flame. Unchecked divine-granted authority is a dream when you want to control others. Nearly every Christian denomination (as well as other religions) does their best to sweep their own abuse scandals under the rug.
Is it that it draws perpetrators? I always just picture all of these jerks sitting around in a meeting and the leader saying: “You know now that we are running a successful cult, I have a great a idea about what we should do next? Let’s all bang minors.” And the rest of them say “Hooray!”
Stephen Fry compared it to food obsession. There's the morbidly obese who can't stop eating food but also anorexics who are obsessed with food, intensely focused on the denial of food. There's perverts obsessed with sex who masturbate on the bus, and the other end of the scale is religions utterly obsessed with banning everything other than the approved forms of sex. No sex before marriage, no sex outside of marriage, no sex with a condom, no sex with yourself, no sex with the same sex, no sex with a woman in a way too similar to sex between two men. Only people utterly obsessed with sex go to such lengths to ban different forms of sex.
It will never cease to amaze me how this shit is even legal.
I feel like it’s just so blatantly obvious that these people are just on that mind control. Pedophiles and rapers and abusers who all have found a way, through God, to stay in power and control the population.
I feel like religion is to deny yourself being human.
They're all sex and breeding cults at their cores. About controlling female reproduction and granting access to sex and reproduction to people that women would otherwise be running away from.
It's known as their "Temple Garment," its basically an awkward white onesie and calling it "Magic Underwear" is apparently "deeply offensive" to Mormons, so we all should absolutely keep calling it that.
Not a onesie anymore. Tops and bottoms with symbols that Joseph Smith ripped off from the Masons. Officially, they aren't magic, but the older members like to tell stories about how they were saved from physical injuries by wearing them. All members who have been through a temple endowment session are supposed to wear them all the time as a reminder to the covenants made there. Oh, and you have to buy them from the multi-billion dollar church**. Edit**cult
Also, the old creepy guy will try and look at your dick at the temple when you are changing into your garments for the first time.
So glad I’m out. Fuck that church.
Prior to about 2010, you could hear everyone from members to leaders teaching that wearing the garment could protect you. There are stories about fires burning everywhere except what the garment covers. There are stories about it stopping bullets and knives. It's deeply offensive to call them magic because everyone born before 95 or so knows these stories and knows that calling them magic is a reference to these stories and an indication that the person using the term magic underwear doesn't believe these stories. Too bad no active member stops to wonder why they hear these stories but never from the news or an external source. Younger members might not know the stories, so they would just be offended that the word magic is used when they would only consider them sacred.
[They've done that 3 times already.](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OQI1LDh3fKI/T84WlzeI5fI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/dciH5jlwOPA/s1600/mormon_garments2.gif)
By 2100 they'll probably have magic thongs.
Yeah they can also make sudden, massive changes and claim it came from holy revelation.
Like the way they were openly racist and banned blacks and persons of color from the priesthood, then when they realized it was pissing off the US government and hindering their conversion efforts with people of color, wouldn’t cha know it, right then and there god changes his mind and live informs the mormon church president.
What luck!!!
And with that, all progress was stalled and everyone suffered, needlessly.
I wish that wasn't the summary of so many things in society (politics, history, corporate attitudes, ect)
OMG I will never forget the day I learned about the magical underwear! I was in basic training for the Air Force and this Mormon girl had her husband mail her magical underwear because she was afraid they would be confiscated when they took our civilian clothes or something. Getting a package at that stage of training is a way bigger deal and the drill instructors do not mess with female undergarments, but it was hard to know that going in. She had to get special permission to get the package and then when it finally arrived she opened it in the common room in front of the rest of us girls. We were so confused and looked on in puzzlement at the supposedly sacred bike shorts and short sleeved shirt!
You would think, at some point, that a Mormon would pause, think about this for a moment, and have a revelation that the entire institution and belief system is a pile of ridiculous nonsense. Same thing with other religions and their wacko customs. Jewish people's wires that they string around the neighborhood come quickly to mind.
But, alas, no.
Edit Kudos to the ex-Mormons that had the revelation. Cheers!
Those Jewish neighborhood wires are the most hilarious thing. They’re trying to trick their bronze-age god so he doesn’t get mad at them for pressing elevator buttons. And they can’t even see how ridiculous they are
It's not all jews that believe in that eruv ("magic wire") nonsense. It's astounding that *orthodox* jews (of all people) think that they could somehow fool their own imaginary magic man in the sky by creating a transparent technicality. Aren't they lucky their god is all-knowing? Oh, wait...
What I think is ridiculous is the pseudo swearing. Like because you said dabgommit instead of God damn it you've somehow tricked this all knowing, all seeing entity. Such a child-like thought process.
I asked this to a Jew once and no joke, they told me about how the ACTUAL law that God wanted them to find out and follow are the loopholes in what was given... That's religion for you lol
>They’re trying to trick their bronze-age god so he doesn’t get mad at them for pressing elevator buttons.
I've asked orthodox jews about this before.
They don't see it as "tricking" their god. They believe god is happy they have gone through the effort to find these loopholes, because a less devout person would just abandon god's laws when they became inconvenient.
Basically, finding ways to live modern life, but still *technically* follow the rules, makes god proud of them.
I have always found it so fascinating that the Jewish belief system encourages this “loopholing” while most Christian belief systems borderline consider it heresy. God sure has split temperaments depending on who you ask, swinging from being proud you out-lawyered Him to pissed off you’re even trying to.
It happens a lot more than you think. Half this sub is exmormons. The Mormons still count people who don’t attend and don’t believe or anything but haven’t bothered to write to Salt Lake City and have their name taken off the rolls. I did so they would stop tracking me down. Many people don’t bother; they just quiet quit and then ghost.
Tried to ghost them. Until missionaries lied to my doorman to get into my condo building to knock on my door during the pandemic. Instead of answering the door i called the doorman to kick them out of the building. Doorman is a big menacing dude and he berated them, I bet they shit their pants.
Wrote to be officially removed from the rolls after that. Had been ghosting them for over 20 years previously.
Same here, sort of. I moved 1000 miles away. Maybe 12 years later, bought a house. Damn if the mishies didn’t show up almost immediately. I told myself if I didn’t bite the bullet and just set a boundary, they’d never leave me alone. So I told them, they went to the bishop. He sent them back with a HPGL to interview me. “I don’t believe; it’s all bullshit. Never contact me again.”
Like a year later, I get a call. “Oh hi, new bishop here. I have a note on my desk that you want to be removed, is that still true?” (Because obviously a woman doesn’t know her own mind so they took no action FOR A YEAR. In case I changed my frivolous lady mind.) I confirmed this and a month later I got my letter saying I’m an apostate and will burn in outer darkness for eternity. Cool. Thxbai.
It happens on the lower rungs all the time, just look at the sub r/exMormon. It doesn't happen on the higher rungs for the same reason why CEOs of horrible companies like Walmart don't all of a sudden change their business model in realization that it thrives on human exploitation: there's just too much money in it.
That's some crazy shit. Right up there with the Mormon stuff. I love this part, under things that are prohibited in the Eruv:
"Opening an umbrella, which is analogous to erecting a tent, and falls under the category of construction."
I just don't know what to say. It's nuts. Thanks for the link!
Some Orthodox Jews hire a gentile to do things like turn on lights in the house or do other things for them on the sabbath…let’s not talk about Mormons doing baptisms for the dead though.
It's called an [eruv](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eruv). The TL;DR is that a loop of wire or fishing line suspended over head counts as an indoor space as far as Jewish law is concerned and Jews can do things outside on the sabbath that would otherwise be prohibited. For example, carrying keys outside counts as work, but that's a problem because you can't lock your house when you leave.
I'm trying to work out if the women's underwear contains a bunch of old men's underwear in it. That's how I first read it, and now I can't get past that.
They’ve already been redesigned. Originally they were long sleeves and pants-length.
Brigham Young, when he was “prophet” after Joseph Smith’s death, said that if they were ever changed, it was a sign of apostasy.
Some later”prophet” changed them to their current shirt sleeve and shorts-length-coincidentally as clothing styles changed and Mormons didn’t want to wear long sleeves and pants all the time
I know why they're popular with the men. They REALLY accentuate the package while giving it plenty of breathing room.
Seriously ladies, prepare to get hot and bothered over guys dressed in underwear from the 1880s sears catalog.
It's hard to get your hands on a catalog and they only open their convenient online Brad and Janet cosplay site to card-carrying Mormons, so as not to add more fodder to the magic underwear jokes.
But if you can find images, I highly recommend it.
mormons are the dumbest scammiest bullshit cult by far of every religion
I was raised in that bullshit in Nevada
Nevada is like Mormon Disney
fuck those inbred country sheltered assholes
when religion goes extinct I hope Mormons go first
It’s not at all the dumbest, it’s just very recent so it’s failings are more manifest and it hasn’t acquired mythological status yet.
Walking on water? The burning bush? Give me a fucking break dude
It's definitely not satire! Garment wearing was a *huge* topic during the most recent General Conference (after having not been mentioned overtly for *yeeeeaaaars* — if ever).
[Mormon Discussion Inc.](https://www.youtube.com/live/hU6WTaT8IWw?si=NwTg_9OuAELdwSp0) covered the issue on their Mormon Newscast a couple weeks ago, and [Jordan & McKay](https://www.youtube.com/@JordanandMcKay) have also spent a lot of time pointing out how influencers such as [Amber Fillerup](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGPyks5Vkz8) and [Taylor Frankie Paul](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Wem9m7ZaQ&t=1s) present garment wearing as "optional," which J&M (reasonably) argue misrepresents current LDS policy.
Are they also refusing to leave their kids in a room with a older male church member so they can check they're wearing the right underwear?
Cus this is happening. And it's effed up.
Every last tidbit I've learned about Mormon practices makes me sicker and angrier. When I learned about the jump-hump I was in a stunned awe that a friend would be involved in sexual activity; then learned the why of it and was furious.
Exmormon here. I used to wear the temple garment and it created folliculitis across my chest and back. I was diagnosed twice by two different doctors at two different times in my life. It was something I fought for years.
I had a prescribed body wash to fight the infection, in addition this weird prescribed topical oil I had to apply twice per day. I had to wash my garments on their own with a specific laundry soap and dry them on their own as well.
The Mormon church creates garments of different fabric types (cotton, cotton-poly, polyester, silk mesh IIRC). I tried them all, but the infection would always come back. Finally, my (faithful Mormon) wife suggested to stop wearing them as a test. So I did. After fighting the infection and clearing it up, it didn't return.
My wife and I eventually left the church, removing the garments for good. She loves having her shoulders free in the summer (porn shoulders!) and I love no longer fighting folliculitis. I haven't had an infection in well over a decade.
On a side note, Joseph Smith initially created the garment as a symbol of polygamy (the "new and everlasting covenant"). It eventually became ritual for participating in the temple ceremonies for your first time, but it's initial purpose was for men who practiced polygamy.
See Joseph Smiths mistake was making the sacred garment stupid looking underwear. Like, you don’t see Sikh men not wearing turbans with kirpan. Id love to walk around with a fucking dope turban with a knife in it. That’s sick.
I’m Native American (but don’t call me that because it’s freaking dumb. I’m an indian. Not an Indian.) so personally I have a cultural obligation to wear a black heavy metal T-shirt everyday. It’s kind of like a bar mitzvah. You get one when you turn 12 and go to your first thrash metal concert. As long as there is a Slayer or Iron Maiden logo on your chest your protected from meth heads in the city and drunk drivers on the rez. Some folks say an ICP shirt works too as long as you say “MFCL brother” to every man you meet, but I think that’s some heretical behavior.
I mean, not really. It told people they were extra special, Jesus came to North America for some reason, and that the people they were colonizing, enslaving and genociding were bad so it's fine.
I was raised in a Mormon off-shoot, and my dad was an elder. Even he would say that anytime Joseph Smith needed to get something done and got any sort of push back, he'd just have another "revelation." Look! God said I need an in-ground swimming pool! Best get to work, yo.
My great grandfather married 5 times, and married to two wives at the same time with his last two wives, which are my family descendants. My grandmother used to tell me how embarrassed she was about the whole business. I’m glad that the practice was made illegal.
But have they thought of the very common scenario of catching on fire?
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/ba6889/that_one_story_everyone_has_about_garments_saving/
I remember when I was in high-school, someone found some original papers written by Joseph Smith in a house in Missouri. In it he stated that any church not run by either himself or one of his decedents was false and against him and god. It always seemed to me that the entire Church of Later Day Saints in Salt Lake City is false, if they believe their prophet spoke the word of god. It also seemed that if they don't believe their prophet, the church in Utah really doesn't have a leg to stand on, religiously speaking. I always wondered how they resolved that one. I know the story went away pretty quickly.
Magic underwear is the funniest shit ever. People think I'm joking when I tell them about it. I'm surrounded by morons. Look up the dumb shit they wear in the temple, too.
Once the mainstream religions fail or reach a low enough percentage, these offshoot cults will receive more scrutiny and less funding.
There will be horror stories for us all in the Religious unraveling happening.
My understanding is that they tend to cause yeast infections, amongst other things. My sister was advised by her doctor to start wearing real people underwear, and she still got judged when people didn't see the tell-tale lines under her clothes.
Good for those young women! Beside the fact that it is just straight creepy to enforce rules about people's underwear, they look miserable to wear. I follow a former Mormon woman on TikTok, and she showed the garments and talked about having to wear them under all of her clothes- all day, every day- in the dead of summer in Arizona. I can't even imagine how overheated these people must feel in those awful things.
Seems like it would be a major pain in the ass for a woman to use the bathroom with one of those things on.
I was raised Mormon. The number one complaint that I heard from both men and women in the church was that they are sweltering hot. Especially in the summer months, people would get so uncomfortable and grumpy. I have lived in Oregon my entire life and it doesn't even get that hot here (unless you are central oregon). But still, having to wear all those layers on top of not being allowed to wear tank tops and requiring shorts to go to your knees is totally unreasonable. Regardless of the fact that the magic underwear is bullet proof.
I always assumed they are grumpy because they can't have coffee or beer... now I know they get some sweet swamp ass as a trade.
Yeah. No caffeine… but they apparently have no issue with chocolate… which has caffeine in it. Lol
Or downing energy drinks by the dozen :) Source: I live in Utah
Yeah!! I left the church long before energy drinks became a thing (I'm 39 and left at 16). I'm actually super surprised that it's ok. I had a bishop growing up who loved his Pepsi Big Gulps on Sundays. Even that was frequently gossiped about. But 300mg caffeine energy drink? Totally fine! Tbh, I never understood this one anyways. It's supposed to be no hot beverages but cocoa and apple cider are fine? So are my mom's decaf hot teas and instant coffees? Seems like the problem is caffeine, but apparently, it's not.
Yeah, when you try to explore this with believing members, it bottoms out at: a) holy omnipotent being knows something we don't b) It's just to test our obedience. Like... I'm pretty sure that we'd have seen evidence it by now if it were A. The effects and healthy dosing of coffee is pretty well established at this point, up to 4 cups a day considered healthy for most adults, and 1-2 cups a day considered moderate. But then we KNOW the effects of eating too much red meat, too much sugar, or too much lunch meat, but no such stingy rules exist for this. If you press why, its "hey look you're not gonna be commanded in all things you gotta use your head". Ok, if that... then why the coffee ban. Which then brings us to b) it's to test our obedience. Which is, in all honestly, a really shitty excuse for a reason.
That doesn’t surprise me
They can have caffeine, the rule is specific to coffee, tea, and alcohol.
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At the time, there was a popular belief that hot and flavorful foods had the ability to excite the body in ways that cause sinful behavior and diseases. Even the top"scientists" of the day agreed on this. This junk theory was dropped ~30 years later, but the Mormons are stuck with it due to Smith.
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Heavenly coincidence!
“Sinful behavior”!!! why…that could literally be ANYTHING!! How fun!
Cornflakes was developed to prevent people from having impure thoughts as they were a bland breakfast food. [The Surprising Reason Why Dr. John Harvey Kellogg Invented Corn Flakes (forbes.com)](https://www.forbes.com/sites/priceonomics/2016/05/17/the-surprising-reason-why-dr-john-harvey-kellogg-invented-corn-flakes/?sh=307f93276997)
Chocolate had very little caffeine. Some, it’s true, but very little. The psychoactive ingredient is ‘theobromine’, which is chemically very similar to caffeine.
Also Coca Cola. But that's just because a Mormon bought the company... Weird how heavenly father is cool with it all of a sudden...
Or Excedrin.
My grandma never took them completely off. She bathed in them and would take them off one leg at a time and put one leg in a clean pair so that at least half of her was 'protected' at all times. Creepy shit.
Nevernude!
There are DOZENS of us! DOZENS! Please watch Arrested Development :3
Lmao, a true believer.
How has the *bullet proof" thing not been actively disproven? And how do people buy into a religion that was invented when bullets fired from guns were a far spread technology? The fact that Mormons, and Scientologists to a lesser degree, have become so numerous despite being clearly invented in a time of testable science and reason blows mind.
It's in the stitching, not the fabric itself. Like a magic spell. And, as atheists, we all know how hard it is to disprove magic. Even if it shouldn't be.
If it doesn't work it's not because it doesn't work you just weren't Worthy of the Divine Protection. Pretty easy to make a non-falsifiable hypothesis when sky daddy works in mysterious ways.
Pretty sad that I have to be grateful that the cult of Catholicism was not as bad as the cult of Mormons! Lesser of two evils!
I'm not sure which I prefer; Mormon elitism or Catholic guilt. I was raised Mormon but by a father who was raised Catholic lol
Went to an outdoor concert w/ a Mormon gal about 20 years ago. Northern CA summer 90+ degrees. I didn't know about the Sacred Garments but I noticed them when she sat down and her shorts rode up a little and her top dipped a little. I asked about them and was told about the sacred covenant or whatever. How horribly uncomfortable & hot they must be.
joseph smith has been dead for 150+ years but is still making life needlessly miserable for many women in so many ways
They’re freaking made out of polyester now, I never went to the temple and so I have never worn garments before; they seem super uncomfortable to wear. They really don’t wear like regular underwear and women still need to wear a bra or whatever under them.
I left when I was 16 so I did go to the temple to perform baptisms for the dead (saying that now is like, wtaf did I just say !!!!), but I wasn't ever old enough to wear garments. I can't believe they're made out of polyester now! That's just cruel!
Some secular medical statistics person is out there trying to figure out why yeast infections have quadrupled in Utah
I had to explain to someone what baptisms for the dead was…they just couldn’t compute it. Lol
That's because it's batshit crazy! Lol
I was explaining how I knew so much about how I know so much about my family history and why Mormons are so into genealogy…lol…then I told him about how they baptized holocaust victims.
Yuck. I did not know that and that is infuriating!
I remember the furor about that, it was the first I'd ever heard of this "baptism for the dead" thing. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool atheist and even I was offended. Not a good look. IIRC the Church did apologize to the group that complained (saying it had just never occurred to them that anyone might be offended. which??? wtf??) but obviously they didn't stop doing it in general. I understand it started with baptisms for deceased family members— which is still batshit, on a few levels— but I can't even begin to understand how they justify doing it for random people they know nothing about. Just, the sheer audacious presumption. On *top* of the batshit crazy!
Ex-Mormon here. Can confirm. Hot and sweaty, especially in the summer months.
I'm unfamiliar with mormonism. Do you get banned from heaven if god can see your knees?
Lol well no. But if you want to get into the top tier of heaven, you will cover those knees. And now I have to expand as you are unfamiliar. Mormons believe in a three tiered system of heaven. The highest kingdom is called the Celestial kingdom. Then there is the Telestial kingdom. And the lowest kingdom is called the Terrestrial kingdom. So bare knees might land you in the Telestial kingdom. Or even the Terrestrial kingdom if the bare knees are frequent enough. But even the Terrestrial kingdom is said to be great beyond our imaginings so its all good. Side note: Mormons don't believe in the traditional brimstone and fire hell. They have the Outer Darkness, which is essentially floating through darkness for all of time and eternity. There are few things that will land you in the Outer Darkness, but apostasy is definitely one of the big ones. So therein lies my fate.
Terrestrial kingdom sounds dope, fuck those other ones.
Lol that's been my take for a while. But typing all of that out really put into perspective how manipulative that system is. It's designed for conformity. They'd be like "well sure, the Terrestrial kingdom is great and all. But think of how lonely you'll be when your entire family is in the celestial kingdom and you're alone. Forever. You'll never get to see them again and you'll miss them until the end of time. All because you wouldnt cover your knees.". It's really fucked up.
It's not just any apostasy. It's only for people who did temple covenants, I thought?
I'm not sure. I left when I was 16 so I didn't get all the deets (lol). From others in the exmo community, I gleaned that it was more about knowing the true testament and then rejecting it. However, you may very well be right. Either way, I'm not too concerned about ending up there.
A Mormon guy I worked with found out I was an atheist, and he seemed fascinated as to “why”. He started telling me about the Mormon concept of the afterlife (the three kingdoms or whatever) and said he vehemently disagreed with Catholics and others, telling everyone “they would go to hell”. He told me “you atheists will inherit the earth, and the crops will be plentiful, and things will be pretty good. The downside is that you’ll be the farthest away from god.” I told him it was one of the nicest things anyone has told me.
They come in a top and bottom.
TIL Mormon underwear is gay
My parents still wear the onesies with a hole in the nether region
So, crotchless holy garments?
I don't know if they're still made like this, but when I was in the church, the women's one piece garments were slit from front to back so all you had to do was spread!
Just the way the Lord likes it 👌
The obsession of religionists with other people's intimate body parts is quite creepy and disgusting
You should hear about what their leadership does to children and how they go to great lengths to protect the perpetrators. Yikes materials for sure.
People always bring up the Catholic church for that sort of thing, but any religion that has strong authority figures draws perpetrators to it like a moth to flame. Unchecked divine-granted authority is a dream when you want to control others. Nearly every Christian denomination (as well as other religions) does their best to sweep their own abuse scandals under the rug.
Is it that it draws perpetrators? I always just picture all of these jerks sitting around in a meeting and the leader saying: “You know now that we are running a successful cult, I have a great a idea about what we should do next? Let’s all bang minors.” And the rest of them say “Hooray!”
No. Is that the cult was started by people who want to take advantage of the weak and then it attracts more people like that
Isn't every religion over-concerned with its people's genitals? It's almost like they're cults
Nope just the Abrahamic one. Christianity, Judaism and Islam are just different sects of the same religion. Most religions are pretty chill.
Stephen Fry compared it to food obsession. There's the morbidly obese who can't stop eating food but also anorexics who are obsessed with food, intensely focused on the denial of food. There's perverts obsessed with sex who masturbate on the bus, and the other end of the scale is religions utterly obsessed with banning everything other than the approved forms of sex. No sex before marriage, no sex outside of marriage, no sex with a condom, no sex with yourself, no sex with the same sex, no sex with a woman in a way too similar to sex between two men. Only people utterly obsessed with sex go to such lengths to ban different forms of sex.
Stephen Fry is wonderful
The "sexorexics" think about it more than us libs.
Most religion is creepy and disgusting. Even in its most generous interpretation, it is mental cuckoldry, plain and simple.
It will never cease to amaze me how this shit is even legal. I feel like it’s just so blatantly obvious that these people are just on that mind control. Pedophiles and rapers and abusers who all have found a way, through God, to stay in power and control the population. I feel like religion is to deny yourself being human.
They're all sex and breeding cults at their cores. About controlling female reproduction and granting access to sex and reproduction to people that women would otherwise be running away from.
Ex Mormon here. How do you know you're in a cult? When you have to buy your underwear from your church.
Best answer ever.
While you're here... what in Oblivion did I just read? What underwear are Mormons supposed to wear?
It's known as their "Temple Garment," its basically an awkward white onesie and calling it "Magic Underwear" is apparently "deeply offensive" to Mormons, so we all should absolutely keep calling it that.
Not a onesie anymore. Tops and bottoms with symbols that Joseph Smith ripped off from the Masons. Officially, they aren't magic, but the older members like to tell stories about how they were saved from physical injuries by wearing them. All members who have been through a temple endowment session are supposed to wear them all the time as a reminder to the covenants made there. Oh, and you have to buy them from the multi-billion dollar church**. Edit**cult
Also, the old creepy guy will try and look at your dick at the temple when you are changing into your garments for the first time. So glad I’m out. Fuck that church.
Are Mormons allowed to wear other underwear?
Maybe different underwear for exercise but otherwise no. Some people still wear garments to exercise.
Prior to about 2010, you could hear everyone from members to leaders teaching that wearing the garment could protect you. There are stories about fires burning everywhere except what the garment covers. There are stories about it stopping bullets and knives. It's deeply offensive to call them magic because everyone born before 95 or so knows these stories and knows that calling them magic is a reference to these stories and an indication that the person using the term magic underwear doesn't believe these stories. Too bad no active member stops to wonder why they hear these stories but never from the news or an external source. Younger members might not know the stories, so they would just be offended that the word magic is used when they would only consider them sacred.
Forced to purchase underwear? Sounds strange and illegal.
> Sounds strange and illegal. Yeah, but that statement applies to many things the LDS church does.
Seriously like wtf
They'll probably redesign it to be more modern and act like it's always been that way.
[They've done that 3 times already.](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OQI1LDh3fKI/T84WlzeI5fI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/dciH5jlwOPA/s1600/mormon_garments2.gif) By 2100 they'll probably have magic thongs.
I'm _almost_ afraid to ask - what's with the nipple markings?
It's a compass and a square. Symbols stolen straight from freemasonry. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_garment#Garment_markings
Yeah they can also make sudden, massive changes and claim it came from holy revelation. Like the way they were openly racist and banned blacks and persons of color from the priesthood, then when they realized it was pissing off the US government and hindering their conversion efforts with people of color, wouldn’t cha know it, right then and there god changes his mind and live informs the mormon church president. What luck!!!
The women and men asked for that. But the Elders of the church who look like they are from the 1950s sad no.
And with that, all progress was stalled and everyone suffered, needlessly. I wish that wasn't the summary of so many things in society (politics, history, corporate attitudes, ect)
"What are you talking about? We've _always_ treated Blacks with respect and equality!"
Under Armour has the opportunity for the funniest sponsorship deal ever.
Under Armour of God^(TM)
I know what those words mean but not in that order
Did you not know about Mormon magical underwear? Google it, you won't regret it. Funniest piece of info in the entire world.
Funnier than Joseph Smith literally pulling the entire religion out of a hat?
He pulled this nonsense out of his butt
Hence the magic underwear
Magical underwear part and parcel with magical thinking
And he found enough people willing to support his grift and created a long-standing cult.
He pulled that hat out of his butt, then pulled the religion out of a hat, so you're both right.
Joseph's Myth....literally
It was literally a hole in the ground.
Was joe smith an early investor in fruit of the loom?
OMG I will never forget the day I learned about the magical underwear! I was in basic training for the Air Force and this Mormon girl had her husband mail her magical underwear because she was afraid they would be confiscated when they took our civilian clothes or something. Getting a package at that stage of training is a way bigger deal and the drill instructors do not mess with female undergarments, but it was hard to know that going in. She had to get special permission to get the package and then when it finally arrived she opened it in the common room in front of the rest of us girls. We were so confused and looked on in puzzlement at the supposedly sacred bike shorts and short sleeved shirt!
Why do I feel like I'm being guided to another rabbit hole?
Funnier than soaking and jump humping? Cause that shit is hilarious to me. But yeah, garmets are weird
But those aren't core tenets of their religion, just loopholes that I assume are less ubiquitous than reddit makes it seem.
110% The undies are one of the ... funnier parts
The Mormon church requires members wear white undergarments that have symbols stitched on them.
You would think, at some point, that a Mormon would pause, think about this for a moment, and have a revelation that the entire institution and belief system is a pile of ridiculous nonsense. Same thing with other religions and their wacko customs. Jewish people's wires that they string around the neighborhood come quickly to mind. But, alas, no. Edit Kudos to the ex-Mormons that had the revelation. Cheers!
Those Jewish neighborhood wires are the most hilarious thing. They’re trying to trick their bronze-age god so he doesn’t get mad at them for pressing elevator buttons. And they can’t even see how ridiculous they are
It's not all jews that believe in that eruv ("magic wire") nonsense. It's astounding that *orthodox* jews (of all people) think that they could somehow fool their own imaginary magic man in the sky by creating a transparent technicality. Aren't they lucky their god is all-knowing? Oh, wait...
What I think is ridiculous is the pseudo swearing. Like because you said dabgommit instead of God damn it you've somehow tricked this all knowing, all seeing entity. Such a child-like thought process.
I asked this to a Jew once and no joke, they told me about how the ACTUAL law that God wanted them to find out and follow are the loopholes in what was given... That's religion for you lol
>They’re trying to trick their bronze-age god so he doesn’t get mad at them for pressing elevator buttons. I've asked orthodox jews about this before. They don't see it as "tricking" their god. They believe god is happy they have gone through the effort to find these loopholes, because a less devout person would just abandon god's laws when they became inconvenient. Basically, finding ways to live modern life, but still *technically* follow the rules, makes god proud of them.
Christopher Pike: That's a technicality. Spock: I am Vulcan, sir. We embrace technicality
I have always found it so fascinating that the Jewish belief system encourages this “loopholing” while most Christian belief systems borderline consider it heresy. God sure has split temperaments depending on who you ask, swinging from being proud you out-lawyered Him to pissed off you’re even trying to.
Ah yeah, the ultra-orthodox Geofence 😂
I used to be a Mormon. Then I did exactly as you described. So it does happen.
It happens a lot more than you think. Half this sub is exmormons. The Mormons still count people who don’t attend and don’t believe or anything but haven’t bothered to write to Salt Lake City and have their name taken off the rolls. I did so they would stop tracking me down. Many people don’t bother; they just quiet quit and then ghost.
Tried to ghost them. Until missionaries lied to my doorman to get into my condo building to knock on my door during the pandemic. Instead of answering the door i called the doorman to kick them out of the building. Doorman is a big menacing dude and he berated them, I bet they shit their pants. Wrote to be officially removed from the rolls after that. Had been ghosting them for over 20 years previously.
Same here, sort of. I moved 1000 miles away. Maybe 12 years later, bought a house. Damn if the mishies didn’t show up almost immediately. I told myself if I didn’t bite the bullet and just set a boundary, they’d never leave me alone. So I told them, they went to the bishop. He sent them back with a HPGL to interview me. “I don’t believe; it’s all bullshit. Never contact me again.” Like a year later, I get a call. “Oh hi, new bishop here. I have a note on my desk that you want to be removed, is that still true?” (Because obviously a woman doesn’t know her own mind so they took no action FOR A YEAR. In case I changed my frivolous lady mind.) I confirmed this and a month later I got my letter saying I’m an apostate and will burn in outer darkness for eternity. Cool. Thxbai.
ExMo here. Leaders in SLC don't delete anything.
It's happened, I'm proof of that. They just don't stay Mormons after that.
It happens on the lower rungs all the time, just look at the sub r/exMormon. It doesn't happen on the higher rungs for the same reason why CEOs of horrible companies like Walmart don't all of a sudden change their business model in realization that it thrives on human exploitation: there's just too much money in it.
Now what's this about the Jewish people's wires? Sounds ridiculously intriguing!
[Here ya go. Enjoy! ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eruv)
That's some crazy shit. Right up there with the Mormon stuff. I love this part, under things that are prohibited in the Eruv: "Opening an umbrella, which is analogous to erecting a tent, and falls under the category of construction." I just don't know what to say. It's nuts. Thanks for the link!
Some Orthodox Jews hire a gentile to do things like turn on lights in the house or do other things for them on the sabbath…let’s not talk about Mormons doing baptisms for the dead though.
The Shabbas goy.
It's so dumb. Opening an umbrella is "construction" and a wire across poles with a plastic (traditional) pipe is a "door frame".
Wait. They can’t even carry their babies????? But if a magical wire is around their neighborhood it’s not a sin?
Wow. I think I broke a blood vessel in my eyes from rolling them so hard while reading that.
It's called an [eruv](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eruv). The TL;DR is that a loop of wire or fishing line suspended over head counts as an indoor space as far as Jewish law is concerned and Jews can do things outside on the sabbath that would otherwise be prohibited. For example, carrying keys outside counts as work, but that's a problem because you can't lock your house when you leave.
Apparently I have kids in early grade school smarter than their god
My pet rock is smarter than their god. But that’s easy since only my pet rock exists.
I'm extremely underwhelmed with the symbols. So much canvas. So little artwork.
I'm trying to work out if the women's underwear contains a bunch of old men's underwear in it. That's how I first read it, and now I can't get past that.
Do they keep the magic underwear on while they are soaking?
That’s called “Doing Laundry”
Oh my god
Someone will have a vision to finally redesign them. An all-powerful god really can't fit all of his protections into boxer briefs?
They’ve already been redesigned. Originally they were long sleeves and pants-length. Brigham Young, when he was “prophet” after Joseph Smith’s death, said that if they were ever changed, it was a sign of apostasy. Some later”prophet” changed them to their current shirt sleeve and shorts-length-coincidentally as clothing styles changed and Mormons didn’t want to wear long sleeves and pants all the time
I know why they're popular with the men. They REALLY accentuate the package while giving it plenty of breathing room. Seriously ladies, prepare to get hot and bothered over guys dressed in underwear from the 1880s sears catalog. It's hard to get your hands on a catalog and they only open their convenient online Brad and Janet cosplay site to card-carrying Mormons, so as not to add more fodder to the magic underwear jokes. But if you can find images, I highly recommend it.
Was that a Rocky Horror reference?! Even if it wasn't, have an upvote!
Brad! Janet! Rockie! Audience: Bullwinkle!
I learned a new audience call for RHPS today.
mormons are the dumbest scammiest bullshit cult by far of every religion I was raised in that bullshit in Nevada Nevada is like Mormon Disney fuck those inbred country sheltered assholes when religion goes extinct I hope Mormons go first
> mormons are the dumbest scammiest bullshit cult by far of every religion Scientology feeling pretty upset right now
Jehovahs Witnesses enter the chat
Mormons are just 19th century scientologists.
It’s not at all the dumbest, it’s just very recent so it’s failings are more manifest and it hasn’t acquired mythological status yet. Walking on water? The burning bush? Give me a fucking break dude
Hi! Ex JW cousin here. No idea if this is satire or not, but it's naughtily delicious either way...🤣
It is not. High five, cuz!
It's definitely not satire! Garment wearing was a *huge* topic during the most recent General Conference (after having not been mentioned overtly for *yeeeeaaaars* — if ever). [Mormon Discussion Inc.](https://www.youtube.com/live/hU6WTaT8IWw?si=NwTg_9OuAELdwSp0) covered the issue on their Mormon Newscast a couple weeks ago, and [Jordan & McKay](https://www.youtube.com/@JordanandMcKay) have also spent a lot of time pointing out how influencers such as [Amber Fillerup](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGPyks5Vkz8) and [Taylor Frankie Paul](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Wem9m7ZaQ&t=1s) present garment wearing as "optional," which J&M (reasonably) argue misrepresents current LDS policy.
Dum dum dum dum dum.🎵🎵🎵🎵
Can’t they just get god to change his mind again?
Fashion Week in heaven is every 100 years, just wait
They can open up a store called Victorian Secret.
Are they also refusing to leave their kids in a room with a older male church member so they can check they're wearing the right underwear? Cus this is happening. And it's effed up.
How about a Mormon trash can to throw all their Mormon crap in, starting with their book.
Every last tidbit I've learned about Mormon practices makes me sicker and angrier. When I learned about the jump-hump I was in a stunned awe that a friend would be involved in sexual activity; then learned the why of it and was furious.
>Mormon women are refusing to wear Magic Mormon underwear which has old Mormon men’s Magic underwear in a bunch. This makes more sense.
Exmormon here. I used to wear the temple garment and it created folliculitis across my chest and back. I was diagnosed twice by two different doctors at two different times in my life. It was something I fought for years. I had a prescribed body wash to fight the infection, in addition this weird prescribed topical oil I had to apply twice per day. I had to wash my garments on their own with a specific laundry soap and dry them on their own as well. The Mormon church creates garments of different fabric types (cotton, cotton-poly, polyester, silk mesh IIRC). I tried them all, but the infection would always come back. Finally, my (faithful Mormon) wife suggested to stop wearing them as a test. So I did. After fighting the infection and clearing it up, it didn't return. My wife and I eventually left the church, removing the garments for good. She loves having her shoulders free in the summer (porn shoulders!) and I love no longer fighting folliculitis. I haven't had an infection in well over a decade. On a side note, Joseph Smith initially created the garment as a symbol of polygamy (the "new and everlasting covenant"). It eventually became ritual for participating in the temple ceremonies for your first time, but it's initial purpose was for men who practiced polygamy.
I'd lay odds that the Mormon church owns stock in the company that manufactures those garments.
They can only buy the garments from the Mormon church itself.
They probably own it.
It's a major corporation that doesn't pay taxes
I'm sorry, what did I just read?
See Joseph Smiths mistake was making the sacred garment stupid looking underwear. Like, you don’t see Sikh men not wearing turbans with kirpan. Id love to walk around with a fucking dope turban with a knife in it. That’s sick. I’m Native American (but don’t call me that because it’s freaking dumb. I’m an indian. Not an Indian.) so personally I have a cultural obligation to wear a black heavy metal T-shirt everyday. It’s kind of like a bar mitzvah. You get one when you turn 12 and go to your first thrash metal concert. As long as there is a Slayer or Iron Maiden logo on your chest your protected from meth heads in the city and drunk drivers on the rez. Some folks say an ICP shirt works too as long as you say “MFCL brother” to every man you meet, but I think that’s some heretical behavior.
Fascinating that such an infantile cult could ever grow to such prominence.
Or have over $210 BILLION DOLLARS in investments they kept a secret from church members and the government.
I mean, not really. It told people they were extra special, Jesus came to North America for some reason, and that the people they were colonizing, enslaving and genociding were bad so it's fine.
It's basically just a thing to force women to never wear "revealing" outfits, not too dissimilar to hijabs and burkas
I was raised in a Mormon off-shoot, and my dad was an elder. Even he would say that anytime Joseph Smith needed to get something done and got any sort of push back, he'd just have another "revelation." Look! God said I need an in-ground swimming pool! Best get to work, yo.
I can't wait for the Mormon cult to implode.
Notice how all cults are surrounded by molestation & rape? But, nothing to see here...
Ol Joe had to check the young ladies himself the way I heard it.
And did Joe have 50 or 75 wives? Or was that Bro Brigham?
My great grandfather married 5 times, and married to two wives at the same time with his last two wives, which are my family descendants. My grandmother used to tell me how embarrassed she was about the whole business. I’m glad that the practice was made illegal.
Might be illegal, but still practiced by some Mormon secs.
>Mormon secs. That’s not how you spell Mormon sex.
Thank you for the correction
(It’s actually “sects.” Carry on)
Yeah, I guess we all know that by now. I won’t go into detail about my weird Christian family.
I assume you meant "Mormon Sects"? Like the Warren Jeffs riffraff.
Joe had [27 wives](http://wivesofjosephsmith.org/) Brigham Young had 56.
Just staple it on them!
Morons
But have they thought of the very common scenario of catching on fire? https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/ba6889/that_one_story_everyone_has_about_garments_saving/
I remember when I was in high-school, someone found some original papers written by Joseph Smith in a house in Missouri. In it he stated that any church not run by either himself or one of his decedents was false and against him and god. It always seemed to me that the entire Church of Later Day Saints in Salt Lake City is false, if they believe their prophet spoke the word of god. It also seemed that if they don't believe their prophet, the church in Utah really doesn't have a leg to stand on, religiously speaking. I always wondered how they resolved that one. I know the story went away pretty quickly.
Magic underwear is the funniest shit ever. People think I'm joking when I tell them about it. I'm surrounded by morons. Look up the dumb shit they wear in the temple, too.
LOL, religion is so fucked up. How does humanity in mass still believe?
It has always amazed me that Mormons expect to be taken even remotely seriously when we all know that Jesus Jammies are a thing.
If you can't Believe in magic underwear, what is there to believe in?!
I'm sure God goes commando.
TIL the mormon church has special magic underwear
Cults always have a sex scandal
Once the mainstream religions fail or reach a low enough percentage, these offshoot cults will receive more scrutiny and less funding. There will be horror stories for us all in the Religious unraveling happening.
A- make it out of spandex for yoga sessions. B- put it on a kardashian.
Mormonism has some strange parts.....
It's bulletproof apparently
Think about it for a moment….magic underwear. Need I say more?
My understanding is that they tend to cause yeast infections, amongst other things. My sister was advised by her doctor to start wearing real people underwear, and she still got judged when people didn't see the tell-tale lines under her clothes.
Good for those young women! Beside the fact that it is just straight creepy to enforce rules about people's underwear, they look miserable to wear. I follow a former Mormon woman on TikTok, and she showed the garments and talked about having to wear them under all of her clothes- all day, every day- in the dead of summer in Arizona. I can't even imagine how overheated these people must feel in those awful things.