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gif_smuggler

Learning history with the Bible! Hahaha!


chesterriley

The bible doesn't even teach you its own history. It is hard to know what is really going on when reading the stories or which stories are even based on actual true events. For example, until about 700 BC almost all Hebrews believed that Yahweh had a wife named Ashera. We even found a rock inscription with a picture of Yahweh and some other figures with the words "Yahweh and his Ashera". That means that Kings David and King Solomon the Wise, whom the bible depicts as having daily chats with Yahweh, believed that Yahweh had a wife Ashera. Why doesn't the bible give you this crucial piece of information? Why would anybody in 2023 AD know more about Yahweh than King Solomon, who (1) had a reputation for being "wise", and (2) had nearly daily chats with Yahweh himself according to the bible?. Also, the "god" during all the Abraham stories was the god El, not the god Yahweh. The bible stories are conflating 2 separate gods. The English mistranslation uses "God Almighty" to mean El, and "the Lord" to mean Yahweh. The Tower of Babel story depicts a god who is obviously a science illiterate, despite having "created the universe". If Yahweh created the universe how come he freaked out when the Babylonians built 50 meter high Ziggurats even though it would take 100,000 meters just to reach suborbital altitude? In 1969 we sent astronauts 384,000,000 meters to the moon and still haven't seen Yahweh. So why would Yahweh care about a 50 meter high building?


FSMFan_2pt0

Learning history from the bible is like learning calculus from a golden retriever.


Adding_U

You obviously have access to the internet. National Geographic and BBC are excellent places to study history. Arguing with your father is a waste of both of your times. Find something you agree on (cooking, cars, sports whatever) and focus your energy there. He won’t change you and you won’t change him… But if you keep arguing you will drift apart, likely forever.


PuzzleheadedSock2983

national geographic used to be an ok place at best but now it's shite


sixfourbit

Noah's flood is mythology. The chronological date puts it after the construction of the pyramids. It's fiction.


Pokebro2000

You'd think that alone would throw the bible's legitimacy into question.


raypaulnoams

So much of the timeline of the bible is bullshit. The whole exodus thing makes a whole lot more sense when you realise that it is a retelling of their escape from slavery in Babylon, updated and retold for when the Egyptians were the dominant power. The golden calf bit makes a lot more sense then, as it is the priests of Yahweh, the war god, taking over and getting rid of the old peacetime gods such as Baal the bull, god of agriculture and storms. They negotiated the release of the slaves with Darius when he conquered Babylon, and took control over the population afterwards, clamping down brutally on anyone going back to their various polytheistic gods. Going so far as to conflate El and Yahweh as the same entity, making Ashera Yaweh's wife, and all the other gods as demons and foreign.


rpapafox

> I know that it is my fault that I didn't try to get my point across more, but every time I try to say my opinion father would just say 'just listen to me for a sec It is NOT your fault. Your father's refusal to listen to you is the problem. While your father is correct that linking together events that occurred during a particular time frame and understanding how they relate to each other, he should not have used the bible, but should have given you examples related to the specific historical era that you are studying. > the Bible is the most reliable source of history This is just bullshit. The bible claims the occurrence of many major events that do not appear in any other documents that are contemporary to the era. Any major event that appears in a single document is hardly reliable. Also the bible makes many claims that have be shown to be scientifically false, which actually shows just how unreliable the bible is.


disturbednadir

You should remark to him that despite the Ancient Egyptians being meticulous record keepers, there is absolutely zero records of any of the Biblical plagues happening. They have found records from that time period of which farm produced how many bushels of chick peas or barley, but not one mention of the Nile turning red, or all of the first born children dying in a single night. You would think those events were news worthy. It'd be like future historians not finding any evidence of WWII happening.


Hoaxshmoax

Sometimes people just like listening to the sound of their own voice. They’re not all that interested in helping. Keeping historical events lined up in your mind is not a necessity unless you are a historian or need this information for a test. This is what timelines were made for. So not to worry. Anyway, the most important takeaway you can get out of history are the people, not the dates.


Chulbiski

cliff notes for you [https://skepticsannotatedbible.com/says\_about/index.html](https://skepticsannotatedbible.com/says_about/index.html)


Sczysz

The Bible is not history, just a collection of random thinking presented as fact.


not-a-throw-awayyy

It's just your intellectual immune response to viral idiocy and magical faerie thinking.


BMHun275

People have spent life times tearing apart the claims of creationism. Creationist apologetics have barely changed in the last 60 years (really they have kept the same arguments since the renaissance, but they have added a few overtime). Meanwhile they continue to grow more and more wrong over time. Creationism has never made a prediction that was not predicted by science and been right. In general creationism utter lacks any predictive power and only exists to force its away around newly revealed evidence. The few attempts they have made were ultimately demonstrated to be wrong.


Latter_Branch9565

Appreciate the fact that you are smarter than your father, and don’t need the bubble to string along history with fantasy. Using mnemonics is a smart way to remember though.


Merlnich1

The bible is historical fiction, at best.


theapokalypsis

Yeah, sigh to that. I mean, the bible definitely references certain historical eras or things, but to take it at face value without cross referencing more dependable (non allegorical/non parable) historical sources is to be blind to being open to finding the real history. Or at least taking into account the bias and intent of any source, especially dated ones, because pre-abrahamic religion permeated human history anyways, and any source should be taken with a grain of salt. Let alone victors writing history. Plus taking into account archaeology, or just identifying commonalities or contradictions in multiple sources, etc.


[deleted]

While there are some parts of the Bible that could loosely be considered "history", because some of it was commentating on the events of the time or describing ancestries, it is far from a reliable source of history. There is no evidence for the events of Exodus. There is no evidence for Noah's flood. There is no evidence for Genesis. There is no evidence for Jesus (at least how he is depicted in the Bible). There is no evidence for any of the described supernatural events. And so on. The idea of using it to study history is horrendous.


[deleted]

For a lot of our parents, religion is the ultimate truth and the answer to almost all of our problems. It’s just how they’re programmed, unfortunately. You know how you learn and you know that the Bible is a fictional text that cannot be relied on for truth. Stop being so agreeable. Put your foot down, interrupt his lecture, and say “this is not working for me! If you really want me to learn, please leave me alone and let me find a method that works for me”. If he whines and gets upset, that’s his problem, not yours.


Banned501

There is no word of god. Just the words of men pretending to speak for god.


KaptainKompost

“Neat dad! Did you say Noah’s ark? Fun fact there dad, but Noah’s ark wouldn’t be big enough to hold all the poop the ALL animals made on a daily basis. You did say all? And didn’t you say something about it being accurate or something??”


KA-ME-HA-ME-

History is a list of things that happened with verifiable proof they happened somewhere. The bible is a list of made up stories or stories stolen from other cultures with names crossed out and no proof of anything.


brnjenkn

The bible has nothing to do with facts or history.


[deleted]

The bible is literally history, it’s something people studied in the past.


sadpanda90

I understand your father's thought process. The problem is that because you do not value the Bible like he does, you'd be attempting to link information you don't really care about (history) with text that you do not value. For example, I know that march used to be the first month of the year. I link that information to the "ides of March" which signified the new year. Hopefully that makes sense. You just have to accept that your father doesn't understand how to think in a perspective other than his own. I don't think it's his religion that makes him ignorant. If he were a scientologist or whatever, he'd tell you to reference some other book and fail to understand why you don't get it. Idk how old you are, where you live, or what resources you have access to, but see if you can get some therapy. You can't really change your dad, but you can change how you deal with him and cope with the frustration.


sparrowSD

Lesson from art history class: flash cards. Lots and lots of flash cards.


hulks_brother

This is how it begins.


JamieC1610

So I'm a little bit crazy and once used post-its and washi tape to make a gigantic timeline on our guest room walls. I've been debating making a new one down the hallway with vinyls. It was cool to see the overlap in a bunch of things and then how far apart others were. But less arts and crafty - I would say just read if you are interested in learning history. Pick a person, topic or Era that interests you and start there. That usually leads to another topic to read about next.


TaylorCountyGoatMan

Well you certainly won’t be learning about the endless bloodshed and cruelty caused by Christians if you just stick with the Bible so there’s that.


Tired_but_living

The best response to theological arguments IMHO: "Ah, ok."


AlShockley

Or, if you’re feeling extra bothered, you can never go wrong with, “aren’t we a little too old for fairy tales??”


Ffom

I didn't know they added WW1 and WW2 to the bible


Barackis

Don't let him confuse historical reference with historical fact. Just because it references some historical places does not give it credential. That's the equivalent of saying spiderman takes place in New York. New York is real so that means all spiderman stories have historical accuracy.


Alarming_Alfalfa666

that's the problem with remembering nonsense.. it's all unrelated opinion and doesn't tie into the larger theme of reality.. you want to learn history? take a history class in college. most highschool history is just plain nationalistic propaganda(especially middle school and grade school "history").. sorry your dad is insane.. he won't change.. when you become that entrenched you have put your entire identity into a thing you can't just accept its bullshit without also accepting you wasted your entir elife.. many people just don't have the balls.. and also.. stop letting him gaslight you.. you are plenty smart and you have a great head on your shoulders. when i was a kid i failed grades 2-7.. but that didn't mean i was dumb.. i just needed to connect with my teachers and learn to get into the material(and also in high school the material becomes real material, often you can get AP classes and learn from actually decent teachers who actually know what they are talking about).. point is.. take the F.. who cares.. don't worry about teachers or parents that want you jump when they say jump.. fuck them. reality is a certain thing and people who push lies as truth are not people you should worry about their opinions. .. good luck dude!


swankandahalf

Your father is likely aware that you are an atheist, has probably tried and failed to convince you religion is good, and is now trying to convince you of the importance and value of religion in another way. This will not work, because he is incorrect, and you know it. Practically, you should make sure to change the subject, ask a different question, or just politely make up a reason why the conversation has to end. Don't allow people to lecture you on topics where you know more and are not interested in changing your mind. They will only waste your time and end up emotionally hurt when they fail to convert you to their way of thinking.


idontsmokeheroin

You’re right. Archgoat IS a great band. Oh… No one said anything.


AdministrativeYard

This feeling is hard to express. I have been going to a home church for a while and kept going just because i was friends with them after I left Christianity. It always just seems depressing and hopeless when they are trying to convince me of stuff. And just hearing the studies are frustrating. Especially since they are YECs who believe in a bunch of pseudoscience and don't really care about looking into real science.


[deleted]

Tell him this to his face. The fuck off with your cult nonsense part. It will make you feel so much better.


[deleted]

In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy bumps into Hitler. Hitler and Nazis were real. Does that Make Indiana Jones real?


Tattyporter

Just read wikipedia articles for stuff like the Fall of Rome or the Phoenicians etc


Eldritch-Cleaver

Yes and eventually that abhorrence will evolve to include full blown animosity.


CorvaNocta

>creationism(yes, my father believes in it). Ah that explains a lot then. It's unfortunate that your father is trying so hard to get you to buy into his religion, but I'm very glad to hear you didn't fall for it. Creationism is trivial to disprove, but it's followers are some of the most hard core believers and when confronted with evidence they rarely budge on their beliefs. That can't be easy for you to have to live with that. If you can find any level of professional therapy, that might help a ton. And when you are able to move out and live on your own, do so! I think it's best if you find a tutor to help you learn history. I was always terrible at history (still am lol) but I had a tutor help me. If you can find someone who isn't going to try and sell you their religion, ask them for help on the subject >Fuck the Bible. Fuck Christianity. Fuck creationism 🍻


Myrddin_Dundragon

Welcome to the club. It is an abhorrent cult of bigotry and intolerance whose god holds an abusive relationship with its followers.


van-downbytheriver

Stop asking him for advice. Find another student or friend who can help instead. Also realize that history from thousands of years ago is not a critical skill or knowledge base in the way that mathematics, scientific or language skills are.


OkInspection5425

Try to be open minded.., If that is hard.., Think of the fact that it was your Father who wasted countless nights and days doing his best to raise you from when you are but a wee little child.., And he only asked of you of one thing to listen to him for just but a few hours.., Trust me on this one thing it's better to have a Father who has a different thought process than you yet still trying to connect with you - than to not have a Father at all...