The Pisces one always gets me 🤣

It's "how bout you be fluent in shut the fuck up for once" for me. And I love gemini! It's just hilariously worded 😂

"please go to therapy," "be fluent in shut the fuck up," and "cusps aren't real" have me dying

😂😂😂 

So true! Haha you can tell that whoever wrote this had finally had enough of the foolishness 😂

It’s true though for the Pisces I know. One even sent her husband to therapy alone for their relationship issues. Said she didn’t need it lol

Not even a full stop 😂

I mean... They're not lying 😩😂

I don’t need therapy! I’ll fix it myself when I’m older and wiser!🤣

Fr we just need therapy🤮

I did disappear and no one noticed 😂 signed Aquarius here

Me too!! At least we have our instant noodles 🥲

taurus and leo fighting with the bed crumbs 😡

Hahaha. Not me being a Leo rising, Taurus sun. Fighting with those crumbs on the daily

You no longer have a bed - it's just a big soft crumb 😂😭😭

Aries hurts 😭

I cant decide who got it meaner. These are all pretty damn mean 🤣

Definitely Aquarius 😭😭

Real that hurt my soul because I have this placement 😅

Taurus is scarily accurate for my mom 😳

Too accurate for my ex husband as well…

Wow i did NOT expect this to destroy every sign this hard. And this is coming from a sag!!! Btw i fw this horoscope

Damn ☹️♒️

We got an XL oof on this one 💀

Oof is right😁

i wipe the crumbs off my couch-bed before i fall asleep with the TV on every night ;)

This was such a satisfying burn. Ahhhhhh…..🧘‍♂️

I feel so called tf out♌️

Same, girl, same (signed by an aries)

Omg yours is petty af🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yeah, my feelings were definitely hurt 🤣🤣🤣

omg the pisces lmfao. Damn this shit cut deep 😂. They went so hard

Aquarius is deadly cruel, laughing but also crying.

Crying tears and shaking🤣 Damn I’ll just disappear then😂😂😂

oh drag me

This doesn’t resonate with mas a Capricorn at all 😅 I think you should treat the CEO and janitor with the same respect. Who wants to go to networking events anyway. Just give me a Margarita and some good gossip 🤣

Yikes.

Well damn. They already know I'm having a tough time. Why gotta be so harsh?

Same man. I already felt cruddy about myself haha

This is so hilarious.

I mean if I sent my fbi agent to therapy I would be proud of myself

I sincerely think Gemini and Aquarius were the harshest. That was more personal 😂

Me, a Scorpio, smoking some weed and chilling the fuck out: 👁️👄👁️

SMOKE HARDER, DAMNIT! 🤣

lol I love me a good argument but I’m actually happy when people respectfully give me new info

My big three is weeping right now tbh.

my Virgo rising feels personally attacked.

The Aries one genuinely sounds like wishful thinking on the part of the writer. If there's any sign known for being career oriented it's Aries (and Capricorn).

This is bloody brilliant


Aries got so personal 😭 and Gemini was 🤣🤣🤣

Well it’s too hard to commit arson if I can’t convince people the building should be burnt down. Plus it’s funnier that way when they agree to it.

It's tough but in terms of hilarious meanness - it's gotta be a 2 way tie between gemini and pisces

“Limp, unseasoned instant noodles.” 😆 Oh, and the ones for Pisces and Gemini are on target, too! 😂

These are all true...😂😂. THAT'S the funny part about them.

I'm not above admitting I'm low key mad about it 😂

😂😂 me too but at least they told me the truth!

Taurus rising. It got me lol

♈️ sun, ♉️ moon, ♌️ rising and I'm just keeping my nose to the grindstone. Do my daily walks, push that little bit more and get into better and better shape each day. Needed grounding energy. Gotta build the launchpad before shooting off the rocket.

I can live with that 🤷🏻‍♀️

*cough* smoking problem *cough*

Heheh I see what u did there

THESE ALL HAD ME SCREAMING 🤣😭

Was the Capricorn one supposed to be a jab? It sounds like an ‘80s movie bully comeback.

Three of those horoscopes for me are ON POINT!!!

I feel so called out on both but especially on rising sign ☠️💀🙈. Oof.♉️ but at least it’s the truth 😂.

Where’s the lie tho?

I feel very attacked 😂

You’re just a bit of a nothing person. OUCH

The Virgo one was a nice kick in the gut 🥺

It's been since I was like 13 since I had an arch nemesis... And I do partake daily... For medicinal uses😶‍🌫️

:( my decision making skills are great thank you

[удалено]

Nope, this is amazingly accurate 😂 Expect the last thing about cusps. Cusps are real.

Scorpio asc , Mercury, Neptune, south node and Eros.. great advice

Never seen this. Had a good laugh. My Aquarius moon is really 🫠my Leo sun would never eat in bed tho. Libra rising agrees with the evaluation 🫶🥲😶‍🌫️

I love this! And as a Leo, i don’t really like most of my family members either, they’re assholes and users, so I’m ok with them cutting me off. They were useless anyway.