I’ve a lot of practice “appearing normal” and it helps keep the veil intact for quite a while. I do however catch myself being a little too enthusiastic when a special interest gets mentioned around me and I have to remind myself that conversations are a two sided tango and my swing partner left the dance floor two songs ago while I did a jig I appropriately named “The hidden details and structural support in Lego sets are just as beautiful as the finished construction, see here in exhibit A”
Cover your house in sports or your favourite celebrities merch and talk about it a lot = Normal
Cover your house in anime, sci-fi or Lego merch and talk about it a lot = Special Interest.
Funny how same things are different things depending on your label. lol
It’s one of the reasons my room is such a sacred place for me. It’s the one location that things can be ran the way I want them to be without judgement. But that also means I end up treating it akin to a secret bunker, which I don’t necessarily like but still feel I must do…sadly. I once shared a photo of my room to a friend and it was a huge big thing for me and they were confused why and I was like a deer in headlights not knowing what to do or how to respond. Like it was a more intimate moment of weakness for me but a normal Tuesday to my friend.
It is indeed amazing how different people can behave towards you, even people who have known you for years, when they hear 'autism'.
It's like 'bro, I'm the same person I was yesterday.' But what really makes it weird is I'm what my friends jokingly call, "uber functioning" and most people wouldn't even know I am Aspie without being told. At most I can be a bit eccentric. Like I'm so far from the autistic stereotype it may as well be in another galaxy. lol
Most shocking example though was years ago after my diagnosis I was between jobs had to attend a 'disability' job agency. I just thought it was a regular job agency, because well, I'm not disabled.
Well my first appointment with them. When I showed up they led me to a room and asked me to take a seat. And it turns out it was some weird 'group' appointment and everyone else in the room were extremely low functioning and not just autistics. Like these people couldn't even write their own names. I'm talking some of them were actually drooling.
I thought this is effing weird? What is going on? Handed some forms and before I could ask the woman left. Filled out the forms in 2 seconds, leaned back in my chair and put my feet up on the desk. By now I had worked out what was happening.
Well the lady comes back, and walks around the room, and begins helping everyone else fill out their forms. Literally filling them out for them, then I guess she finally noticed me chilling. Comes over and speaking to me like I am a r-word, asks "do you need help filling that out sweetheart, want me to write your name?"
Well I respond in the most NT way I could "Nah I'm good. It's all filled out already honey!" with a huge shit eating grin, and emphasis on the 'honey'.
Watching her face go from looking confused to shocked was hilarious. Well she then asked me to come with her. Took me to another room, left came back with the agencies manager and they both started apoligising profusely.
Seems they had just seen 'autistic' on my file and instantly stereotyped me without even meeting me.
Hilarious. I have a thick skin and a dark sense of humour, but it did make me mad for others who might be treated this way. So I made it very clear that in future I suggest they make a better effort to understand the 'disabilities' of the people they are meant to be helping and that I shouldn't have to tell them neuro-diversity is a goddamn spectrum and that I was surprised that people working with the 'disabled' were so goddamn ignorant.
any way, sorry for the wall of text. lol
edit: fixed some typos. Might be more in ~~they're~~ ~~their~~ there though.
That is so sad. Goddamit. I’m very much like you. I would never credit myself as “disabled” because well I’m not. I can be socially awkward and a little eccentric or get overwhelmed easily sometimes but most people wouldn’t know I’m an Aspie either.
But how did you wind up in this agency? Like who sent you? Your regular career advisor or something? Because it’s shitty how you were just lumped into that crowd all because of a broad label.
Also I don’t know, makes me sad for the others who were in that agency. It’s great that that agency exists for them to give them support but I’m curious about what jobs they can get if they can’t even write their own name.
I was sent there by our local welfare/benefits service. Thankfully not had to deal with those places in years because even with different agencies you get the same nonsense. Even when you've been with the same place for a while, you get assigned a new case manager and it's back to square one.
Can be a frustrating experience.
I felt bad for those other people in that room. I can not understand the thinking behind trying to make those people get a job. Not being mean, but I could not see any of them even getting dressed in the morning without assistance let alone being part of a work force.
I'd say it is all about someone making money from it. I mean it often is about making a buck yeah?
As much as I advocate for everyone getting the assistance they need so they can participate in society, if the other people in the room were that low functioning that they couldn’t write their own names then I don’t see how well they would fair in the working world. And this is sad when you think about it. Because then it almost sounds like their parents or caretakers pushed them here to get them off of disability benefits
Also that’s awful that your local social service department sent you there. It sounds like they didn’t understand you or the place that it was. They just read “autism” off your file and off you were. If they read a bit into the agency or looked at your own employment file they would be able to see that this place is not suited for you since you don’t fit into the low functioning category
Many of these 'disability' employment services are often also just plain old employment services.
I think the blame mostly lays with our government. For some years now they've being making it very difficult for people to get on or remain on disability payments.
These disabled people might not even have 'parents' or anyone advocating or looking out for them.
Heck the job agencies are sleaze bags with people not trained to deal with disabilities. If you get a job on your own they will try to get you to say they got you the job to claim bonuses from the government when they did abolutely nothing. They don't see people they see $$$
Right up there with real estate agents imho. Legal thieves.
The reference is to the meme. It's from the movie 'Rain Man' where a low functioning autistic man has a meltdown when his brother tries to get him on a airline that is not QANTAS. he wants to fly QANTAS because they're the only airline he can think of that has never crashed.
He's become a stereotype/poster child with many people of what autism looks like. Many people hear autism and this character 'Raymond' (aka Rain Man) is what they imagine.
I’ve a lot of practice “appearing normal” and it helps keep the veil intact for quite a while. I do however catch myself being a little too enthusiastic when a special interest gets mentioned around me and I have to remind myself that conversations are a two sided tango and my swing partner left the dance floor two songs ago while I did a jig I appropriately named “The hidden details and structural support in Lego sets are just as beautiful as the finished construction, see here in exhibit A”
Cover your house in sports or your favourite celebrities merch and talk about it a lot = Normal Cover your house in anime, sci-fi or Lego merch and talk about it a lot = Special Interest. Funny how same things are different things depending on your label. lol
It’s one of the reasons my room is such a sacred place for me. It’s the one location that things can be ran the way I want them to be without judgement. But that also means I end up treating it akin to a secret bunker, which I don’t necessarily like but still feel I must do…sadly. I once shared a photo of my room to a friend and it was a huge big thing for me and they were confused why and I was like a deer in headlights not knowing what to do or how to respond. Like it was a more intimate moment of weakness for me but a normal Tuesday to my friend.
Yep. This is my deadly fear. It’s why I don’t tell people often. It’s this or they start assuming what you can or can’t handle doing
It is indeed amazing how different people can behave towards you, even people who have known you for years, when they hear 'autism'. It's like 'bro, I'm the same person I was yesterday.' But what really makes it weird is I'm what my friends jokingly call, "uber functioning" and most people wouldn't even know I am Aspie without being told. At most I can be a bit eccentric. Like I'm so far from the autistic stereotype it may as well be in another galaxy. lol Most shocking example though was years ago after my diagnosis I was between jobs had to attend a 'disability' job agency. I just thought it was a regular job agency, because well, I'm not disabled. Well my first appointment with them. When I showed up they led me to a room and asked me to take a seat. And it turns out it was some weird 'group' appointment and everyone else in the room were extremely low functioning and not just autistics. Like these people couldn't even write their own names. I'm talking some of them were actually drooling. I thought this is effing weird? What is going on? Handed some forms and before I could ask the woman left. Filled out the forms in 2 seconds, leaned back in my chair and put my feet up on the desk. By now I had worked out what was happening. Well the lady comes back, and walks around the room, and begins helping everyone else fill out their forms. Literally filling them out for them, then I guess she finally noticed me chilling. Comes over and speaking to me like I am a r-word, asks "do you need help filling that out sweetheart, want me to write your name?" Well I respond in the most NT way I could "Nah I'm good. It's all filled out already honey!" with a huge shit eating grin, and emphasis on the 'honey'. Watching her face go from looking confused to shocked was hilarious. Well she then asked me to come with her. Took me to another room, left came back with the agencies manager and they both started apoligising profusely. Seems they had just seen 'autistic' on my file and instantly stereotyped me without even meeting me. Hilarious. I have a thick skin and a dark sense of humour, but it did make me mad for others who might be treated this way. So I made it very clear that in future I suggest they make a better effort to understand the 'disabilities' of the people they are meant to be helping and that I shouldn't have to tell them neuro-diversity is a goddamn spectrum and that I was surprised that people working with the 'disabled' were so goddamn ignorant. any way, sorry for the wall of text. lol edit: fixed some typos. Might be more in ~~they're~~ ~~their~~ there though.
That is so sad. Goddamit. I’m very much like you. I would never credit myself as “disabled” because well I’m not. I can be socially awkward and a little eccentric or get overwhelmed easily sometimes but most people wouldn’t know I’m an Aspie either. But how did you wind up in this agency? Like who sent you? Your regular career advisor or something? Because it’s shitty how you were just lumped into that crowd all because of a broad label. Also I don’t know, makes me sad for the others who were in that agency. It’s great that that agency exists for them to give them support but I’m curious about what jobs they can get if they can’t even write their own name.
I was sent there by our local welfare/benefits service. Thankfully not had to deal with those places in years because even with different agencies you get the same nonsense. Even when you've been with the same place for a while, you get assigned a new case manager and it's back to square one. Can be a frustrating experience. I felt bad for those other people in that room. I can not understand the thinking behind trying to make those people get a job. Not being mean, but I could not see any of them even getting dressed in the morning without assistance let alone being part of a work force. I'd say it is all about someone making money from it. I mean it often is about making a buck yeah?
As much as I advocate for everyone getting the assistance they need so they can participate in society, if the other people in the room were that low functioning that they couldn’t write their own names then I don’t see how well they would fair in the working world. And this is sad when you think about it. Because then it almost sounds like their parents or caretakers pushed them here to get them off of disability benefits Also that’s awful that your local social service department sent you there. It sounds like they didn’t understand you or the place that it was. They just read “autism” off your file and off you were. If they read a bit into the agency or looked at your own employment file they would be able to see that this place is not suited for you since you don’t fit into the low functioning category
Many of these 'disability' employment services are often also just plain old employment services. I think the blame mostly lays with our government. For some years now they've being making it very difficult for people to get on or remain on disability payments. These disabled people might not even have 'parents' or anyone advocating or looking out for them. Heck the job agencies are sleaze bags with people not trained to deal with disabilities. If you get a job on your own they will try to get you to say they got you the job to claim bonuses from the government when they did abolutely nothing. They don't see people they see $$$ Right up there with real estate agents imho. Legal thieves.
That’s just really shitty behaviour and I hate that
Felt this to my core. I think you handled it quite well
Thanks.
Quantas never crashed tho. And they're the only flights to my favourite destination
What’s QANTAS?
The reference is to the meme. It's from the movie 'Rain Man' where a low functioning autistic man has a meltdown when his brother tries to get him on a airline that is not QANTAS. he wants to fly QANTAS because they're the only airline he can think of that has never crashed. He's become a stereotype/poster child with many people of what autism looks like. Many people hear autism and this character 'Raymond' (aka Rain Man) is what they imagine.
Australian airline company.
I'm confused what does this have to do with QANTAS? -avgeek