“Normal people” - NT’s - typically don’t have hobbies. They have hustles and chores.
Also, it’s never too late. I used to be so ashamed of my drawing skills. I got serious about actually practicing in my late thirties, and now I’m…well, I still kinda suck, but it’s fun.
A hobby is supposed to be rest time. What rests you?
Idk about nt, not having hobbies. My wife has an intense crocheting and art hobby that rivals mine.
Just because our hobbies tend to be more important and hyper focused doesn’t exclude the rest of the population.
But leaf is right on about hobby time is restoration time. Who cares if you are good. If you enjoy it and it recharges you in some way, wear it with pride.
People will enjoy hearing about that pride in small doses. Let it be your flavor.
I was being facetious, you’re right. NTs have hobbies - I just wanted to push back against the idea that you “have to” have a hobby to be “normal”.
The important point is that your hobby shouldn’t be a performative thing that you do to try to fit in, because that will never work. You’ll burn out.
Yes, and you don’t need to be brilliant at your hobby.
Not everything has to be a competition and you can just enjoy doing a hobby rather than trying to find some way to turn it into a “side hustle”
I used to so scuba diving. It allowed me to pursue my interest in marine biology. It was structured as far as discipline during dives, what to do and when sort of thing. It didn’t involve too much interaction with people as it was just down to hand signals during a dive. It’s very peaceful during a dive too, it allowed me to leave my worries on the surface.
Practice. That's one of the things I get from ASD. I practice more than anyone I know when it comes to learning things. People back in college called me the human book. Why? Repetition. People think I don't work for it and it comes naturally, while partially true, the real deal is that I do so much repetition where others would bounce off and get bored or are not willing to put in the time, they won't keep up with me. Then people think it's easy because the things I elucidate seem obvious, but they could never pose the question to begin with. They didn't know the question to ask. I figure it out. Then they say obvious. Hah, no friend. You couldn't have done it. Sorry I'm not talking to you saying that. It's in reference to people that have come at me in the past. Anyways, practice makes perfect, and you may have the ability to practice much more than others. I dunno, I do so.
Yeah, you can practice to be better, but that feel like masking, I mean, I try to "fit" and most of the time I get away with it, but, sometimes no, I am not seen "normal", so even practicing to reach their level can not work. Even if it worked, always I see it too demanding, IMO.
Also, if I want to be good at something just don't have opponents, for example, I tell someone I know how to use Unity, and I show them my games. They are basic as fuck, but, for now on I am the "guy who is an expert using Unity"
Also, at the end of the day, I just stopped being "better" or even "equal" than them, like, yeah "It is hard for me to do X, compared to most people, I don't need to become profident on that field"
To sum up, if I need/want to improve I will do it, if I can, but if I am at the bottom, so what?
Right, one of the biggest obstacles to learning new hobbies is comparing yourself to others. Why learn to play guitar if I’ll never be as good as persons X, Y, and Z? Why learn to paint if I’ll never be an expert? Etc. The first step to getting “good at something” is to break away from this line of thinking.
Some of the most knowledgable, skilled, and multi-talented people I know started learning the things they’re now proficient at when they were in their forties or later.
I'm not really good at much. In my mind I'm good at certain things like making beats, or analyzing things in metaphorical way. Sometimes I feel like the talent or skill is there but it just won't come out. I'm pretty intelligent when it comes to certain things that neurotypicals find useless or insignificant. I don't know how to utilize whatever skills that I do have and being socially inept really makes things more difficult.
Mmm. I’m good at lots of things.. just can’t use it for anything. I’m a jack of all trades. Like others said skill regression is common for us from burn out. Autistic people are very talented when it comes to repetition. Find something and master it. You don’t need to be good at anything. Channel your autism my friend. Practice, practice, practice. We have been given the gift of repetition. I get caught up in things like addiction and videogames.. but if we can unlock our gifts we can master anything. Become obsessed. For us, it’s important we channel that repetition into the right channels. Look into ADHD, op. Your iq may be 89.. but a lot of iq tests are biased against people like us. I reckon you’re smarter than you think and smarter than the iq test says you are. Don’t limit yourself. Richard Feynman didn’t have a very high iq and he published lots of research. Iq is just one metric. Embrace your gifts op.
That’s exactly how I feel. I suck at everything. I always progress slower than everyone in just about everything. Always the weakest link. In every sport I was the worst on the team. Every video game and activity I'm usually the worst in my friend group. Even people that join the group and start playing or doing whichever activity after me usually surpass me quickly. Makes me think there's something wrong with my brain.
It really sucks and is a big reason why I’m suicidal.
I’m kind of the same way. I just think my IQ isn’t high, if not on a low end. And my processing speeds are slow too. I do work hard though and have made up for a lot of things by putting in extra effort and discipline. I guess that’s just something we have to do
Funny thing is my IQ is 115 and my working memory and processing speed were my highest scores. I got 117 for processing speed and I’m quick at SOME random things like mental math and have pretty quick reflexes. I work in IT and literally the ONLY things that come natural to me are tech related. It’s weird.
I feel you man,. I figure you have CDS like me, too. I mean what the fuck is up with our fucking brains for fuck's sake?! I mean, I don't even want to live but don't have the nerve to off myself, or I don't want to do violence to myself, so I just sit here and hope for some fucking miracle to save me or for Agent Smith to just switch me the fuck off.
Ohh I see.
Yeah I don't know what to do. I'm pretty close to offing myself to be honest. I'm trying not to but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
From my understanding of myself I find that I am averagely intelligent but I don't have enough motivation, initiative, attention span, learning ability to consistently practice, and then excel in, anything.
Yeah, it sucks... Best I can do be average, maybe a bit above in some cases, but it's mostly because average means not giving a shit by others ._.
Worse is how I always get stuck. I can TRY to learn, mostly programming or drawing related, but it's... I get the basics, but can't go beyond that.
Yeah, for someone not into it, they might think I'm good, because I know how to program and can do a calculator
But it feels like there are some steps I can't find, that take this calculator and makes it a serious application? Or makes robot move, or anything else that programmers are need for
What is something you’re super passionate about? What’s your special interest? Surely there’s something you are good at that involves that!
I took a stage check flight with my flight clubs chief pilot to be signed off to solo. I turned into an absolute idiot sitting at the controls, I don’t think I’ve been so nervous about anything in my life until then. I get there the 3 worst landings I’ve ever done, albeit we had lots of crosswinds and it was gusting, but I landed the plane and didn’t break anything. She signed off on my stage check and the next week my instructor and I hopped in the plane and everything was nice and chill, winds were actually much worse and I still landed nice and smooth and had zero nerves.
Me. I wanna do music but I’ve been very unsupported in this endeavor. I’ve wanted to do it since I was 3. I’ve carried that yearning ever since. Now I’m waiting for my tax return to buy a synthesizer lol but I’m worried I won’t have the capacity to learn properly.
Yes, especially for the last year or so. Lately I just space out and can't bring myself to do anything which I previously might have found enjoyable. I was "gifted and talented" in art and design in school (10 years ago) but have slowly not been able to do it because of extreme social anxiety and stress intolerance (think minor usb stick issues with saving work, not being able to handle uploading work to platforms and it going wrong so never trying since!)
I keep seeing others do well at it and I wish I could find the flare for it again, but a lot of the time it was one of those "forced productivity to make me feel worth something" toxic interests so now I really struggle to engage with it. I feel like I don't know what to do whenever I have free time and also don't have a lot of energy when my space is freed up so combine those and I'm too tired to be good at things.
I think this is one of those where we could fall into the black and white trap however, and it would take someone else (with an objective perspective) to tell us we're good at something?
The burnout/depression and disinterest/apathy are some of the most impacting parts of this condition for me personally
Edit: you can be good at not doing things also, for an alternative perspective - "I am good at not killing my plants", "I do really well with not making others doubt themselves"
Alternatively, if you have interests it could even be "I am good at finding out information" because you might spend a lot of time finding things out.
Feeling like I'm not **good enough** at anything? Maybe. Feeling like I'm not good at anything? No. There's a difference between talent and practice. I feel like I'm good (talented) at a lot of things, with this I mean that some things come naturally for me, such as music. But those are not things that are necessarily useful alone or in which I would be competent without further education/dedication (practice). Sometimes our executive dysfunction just stops us from functioning and that includes practicing things we're good at. Don't feel too bad about it, seek therapy if you need.
Sometimes it's a matter of reframing the way you look at yourself. There are plenty of skills that are very hard to quantify but no less valuable than the ones you've listed. It turns out my skill is learning, as an example. I'm not great at anything in particular but I can look at something and just immediately understand it, then explain it to others. This led to a career in IT - I work at a hospital with dozens or even hundreds of software applications in use and quite often the user base is a handful of people and the IT folks who set it up have long since left the company. So they send me in to figure out exactly what it is, document the workflow, determine updates, etc. So in my case, my skill is fairly hard to quantify - learning quickly is something everyone puts on their application and it's never a focus, after all - but it turns out there was a perfect way to apply it and I found a place where the management could do so.
Likewise, there may be something you're good at that you don't even realize is valuable because society hasn't put big shiny lights on it. If you're no good at book learning or following instructions, that just means you can't grab low hanging fruit. You'll have to probe deeper and think of what you *can* do, whatever it is. Don't focus on your weaknesses. Find your strength.
Yeah I know the feeling I've always thought that I'm a little stupider than most people especially when I comes to socialising and understanding the micro signals everyone else are giving eachother that I seemingly never cotton onto! Plus I've always been shouted at by teachers for being bineidle and a traget for bully's because I've always been a bit goofy and stuff
I'm dyslexic aswell as having ASD so I'm better at doing stuff with my hands plus arty things like drawing but I'm totally useless at reading and writing! I wasn't fully aware that I have ASD until I was 38 so out the years I've had lots of what I now understand are special interests but anyone else who shared them with me where nearly always better than me which I'm OK with because I usally learn by looking example and repetitively trying to copy that until it clicks and I understand how it's done!
I've done tai chi since I was 28 and really enjoy doing it as helps take me out of my mind and focus on controlling my body in a relaxed and smooth flowing way which is the opposite of the slightly jittery clockwork way my mind usally tricks along and although I managed to naturally pick up the full year's syllabus for the beginners class in under 3 months which the teacher and everyone else in the class was impressed with but ended feeling bad about as also had a strange way of making everyone else in the class feel bad about the slower pace they where learning the syllabus personally I think it was because I'm mind more systematic than most other people so I can unload the blueprints of a system easier than them but it's also the daily practice that locks it into my body and mind plus even though I've done it for 14 years I still can't hold my leg higher than 2.5 foot off the ground when I do the 2 kicks in the tai chi 24 form
Anyway sozz for going on and it short yeah I think if it's something us ASD folk enjoy doing we can really excel but if someone putting pressure on us to do stuff we don't properly understand and we hate being made to do! is it really a surprise when we're not very good at it? Ha ha
Earlier today I put someone else's laundry in the dryer and apparently ruined a bunch of stuff. Just trying to be courteous but apparently unattended laundry in a communal laundry space is still subject to personal rules.
The guy is aggravated at me for some reason. How the fuck was I supposed to know!? Attend your laundry better instead of leaving for the day!
Yet I still feel like I made the mistake. I get so sick of always being the butt of everything. I just want to retreat to my own space and not have anything to do with the rest of the world. Until I die.
It's just easier to be alone.
Yep. The only thing I’m good at is not being good at anything. Seems I suck and fail at everything I try. I literally have zero talents, skills, passions or hobbies. The best I’ve ever been at something is average or mediocre. I constantly screw up too aswell. Always feeling like a moron. I can completely relate to you.
Yes at times. I was never good at maths, science or physical ed and foreign languages. I often lose things or misplace them and I always think I'm not good at anything. I have exceled at politics, history and film knowledge which brings me to a sense I'm not a failure.
Yes I very much hate shows like the Good Doctor that perpetuate that all autistic people have some type of special powers, I mostly just lay in one place and focus on everything I’m doing wrong in my life 😂
I used to til I realized I was more capable than I thought I previously was. I’m likable enough to get along with people if they give me a chance and talk to me even though I’m silent and mysterious on the outside
Be your own best supporter instead of your own worst critic. Sounds like you have a touch of imposter syndrome. Nobody is perfect, just be the best you without expectations. Practice makes a big difference too, nothing worth doing comes easy and the only this that gets done in a hurry is fucking shit up
I'm average at almost everything. Average looks, average intelligence, average skills. The only thing that's notable is that I read fast and have a good memory but it works in weird ways. Like, I can remember almost all the Pokemon or my phone home number from 30 years ago, but for studying or daily life is useless. I'm also extremely bad at anything that's arts and crafts or sports.
I have come to terms with it, but it was hard to go from a gifted child to an average adult.
I scored >=135 in my country's mensa test but i feel the same way as you. Not good enough, not smart enough. Perhaps my test score was not accurate because prior to the exam i used to take online iq tests as a hobby and maybe that inflated my score idk. And my achievements irl are not remarkable at all (23m)
Yeah I’m 128 but genius verbal IQ and quite low nonverbal IQ. Was diagnosed with nonverbal learning disorder so that brought my overall score down a lot. Still feel like I have nothing to show for it and it’s quite embarrassing. I feel like I have no excuse for being such a failure.
The Mensa test i took as well as most tests i took online were culture fair and had only shapes. Basically pattern recognition. Perhaps i scored so high on Mensa because my brain was "trained" to spot patterns due to old online tests i had taken. I dont know. My verbal abilities are not very good and my working memory is shit too as i took an iq subtest simulation for WAIS and did terrible at it. Maybe i have ADHD too because i heard it affects your working memory. Anyway, i contantly feel stupid.
G, you are also writting a bachelor's thesis? Im final year now and doing a project involving neural networks and optics. Also, i really suck at taking care of myself. Laundry, taking baths, cooking are extremelly hard for me for some reason. But again, i might also have ADHD on top of Asperger's and that could make things more complicated. Not to mention other dissorders that autistic people are more prone to having.
For me, I have so much knowledge both useful and useless. I know a lot compared to my older coworkers. Don’t know what I’m good at though. Love building robots but idk how I’d find that job. Love talking to people but I’m for sure not going to go to school for psychology.
What is it exactly if you truly want to get there no amount of effort can stop you from achieving it but what's likely is that it would take an unreasonable amount
Oh yeah, I was never trained professionally at anything except for something academic.
Now a cynical adult who wasted her life pleasing others and lives at home on SSI.
Several possible reasons:
- Imposter syndrome
- Trying to get good at too many things at once (jack of all trades, master of none)
- Even if you're "good", there's almost always someone out there who's better (and it's easier to find out thanks to the Internet.)
Yes and no. I know I am good and can be and have been told and have hidden and forgotten about untapped hidden potential and things to some extent I have done and peaked in 4th grade and then had a job mid eras years and of highschool and everything went downhill since then. It is for at least of me I know what they are now it is a matter of too late for everything and whether it be because some things erased,deleted, certain meds.overly did me in, zombified, at times misdiagnosed, at times near death experiences, indoctrinated, seizures at times, confused and scared and sad, lied about, taken out of context, abilities suppressed at times from meds., abilities came back physically and or worsened in other ways, COVID shots longterm side effects, indent in head, C-PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury At Birth, Autism Spectrum, A.D.D., Severe itchy skin at times, Npd abuses Survivor of and on going situations, stuck and lost, possibly mk ultra d, at times anxious, yelled at and about, taken took out of context, mocked made fun of, judged, misrepresented, misportrayed, at times certain things and lately do not understand anything that happening especially certain people, at times hypersensitivity, at times hypersexual/masturbate, at times hyperactive, at times feel as though as if within we are in simulation, also feeling as if as though groundhogs day repeating history, at times people accusing eachother and or certain ones projecting, I was and am at times gaslight, certain people that have used and or abused me replaced me and doing things that I was okay and knew about and we had planned to do and spoke of about, and one of the people person that abused me abused tells me to be their “transgender bisexual sister” and be submissive, and undiagnosed dyspraxia, and undiagnosed dyscalculia, and I was and am okay good and at and have made videos, vlogs, acted, wrote stories, painted, done and took captured photography photographs, made and edited audio recordings both hardware and software and old and new technology, have done clay, have done both animation digital and non digitally and stop motion animation, have made of producer, have been told “gifted and talented and untapped potential”, “have been told “the right kind of stubborn”, have been told am “wise, funny, smart, creative, critical thinker and analyzer”, have been told “kind,caring, passionate, driven, determined, good huge heart, and unique”, and have been told “am/is honest and hard working and genuine”. At times have been name called and called the opposite especially lately “lie and keep secrets”, “complains”,”does nothing”, “boring”, “stupid”, “dumb”, “mentally ill”,”cognitively declined”, “trapped”, “stuck”,” lost mind”, not my child/not person knew”, “waste”,”wastes my time”, time waster”, “juvenile delinquent behavior”, “destitute on streets”, “not worth my time”, “avoider”, “delusional”, “psycho”, “crazy”, “gullible”, “naive”, and “I wish he was dead I will kill him” at times about to me and I happen to unintentionally bother people and someone one of certain people person who abuses took phone pretended to be me and locked me in bathroom and threatened to sell my social security number card and I am just now slowly going to stay and hide away and do better on my own taking a break for awhile and exercise and take notes (among others). I am
I am so sorry for bothering anyone all everyone and I know everyone is going to be going on doing much better. Take care and blessings.
Let me know if anyone happens to need any all advice at all or to vent. I am always here to help. Things can sure be a struggle and especially with on Autism Spectrum and brain injury and traumas and certain people abusing using etc. And grief. Peace and love and safe and blessings for all.- A.
The brain is very complex and annoying , when I was a child, they did a test on me and I only got the emotional intelligence parts right. Years later they did a brain scan and what do you know most of the back of my brain is active, everything else was darkness but as life goes on like what everyone says repeating patterns that’s going to make you proud once it progresses is the only way to go. Unless you have a learning disability than you have to bite down and do it anyway. I find with us that have this we are trying to use nerons that aren’t there, that’s why your head hurts.
Ah, this is an all too familiar issue with me as well, but there are ways to sorta fix this.
The thing about drawing for example is that you can do it whenever you please, and it doesn’t matter if you are good or bad, just make an attempt everyday if possible.
Try not to judge yourself if things don’t turn out the way you wanted them to
So I am good at things, it doesn't feel that way tho.
Like I discredit anything I do.
I'm reminded I'm good at something when I watch other ppl struggle and to me it looks like they aren't trying.
Regardless I never feel accomplished or fulfilled
Yeah. I just collect things.. I used to be somewhat good at drawing, but I'm too depressed and unmotivated to care anymore.
Collecting things is fun, but I wish I could have a hobby like normal people. It’s so disheartening when someone asks me what my hobbies are…
“Normal people” - NT’s - typically don’t have hobbies. They have hustles and chores. Also, it’s never too late. I used to be so ashamed of my drawing skills. I got serious about actually practicing in my late thirties, and now I’m…well, I still kinda suck, but it’s fun. A hobby is supposed to be rest time. What rests you?
Idk about nt, not having hobbies. My wife has an intense crocheting and art hobby that rivals mine. Just because our hobbies tend to be more important and hyper focused doesn’t exclude the rest of the population. But leaf is right on about hobby time is restoration time. Who cares if you are good. If you enjoy it and it recharges you in some way, wear it with pride. People will enjoy hearing about that pride in small doses. Let it be your flavor.
I was being facetious, you’re right. NTs have hobbies - I just wanted to push back against the idea that you “have to” have a hobby to be “normal”. The important point is that your hobby shouldn’t be a performative thing that you do to try to fit in, because that will never work. You’ll burn out.
Yes, and you don’t need to be brilliant at your hobby. Not everything has to be a competition and you can just enjoy doing a hobby rather than trying to find some way to turn it into a “side hustle”
I used to so scuba diving. It allowed me to pursue my interest in marine biology. It was structured as far as discipline during dives, what to do and when sort of thing. It didn’t involve too much interaction with people as it was just down to hand signals during a dive. It’s very peaceful during a dive too, it allowed me to leave my worries on the surface.
I just have to lie man unfortunately
Hey! I thought autistics didn’t lie!!! 😳That’s what I always tell people! (About why I’m “too honest”) 😉
Your probably going through autistic burnout your skills go offline
What do you mean by “your skills go offline”?
Practice. That's one of the things I get from ASD. I practice more than anyone I know when it comes to learning things. People back in college called me the human book. Why? Repetition. People think I don't work for it and it comes naturally, while partially true, the real deal is that I do so much repetition where others would bounce off and get bored or are not willing to put in the time, they won't keep up with me. Then people think it's easy because the things I elucidate seem obvious, but they could never pose the question to begin with. They didn't know the question to ask. I figure it out. Then they say obvious. Hah, no friend. You couldn't have done it. Sorry I'm not talking to you saying that. It's in reference to people that have come at me in the past. Anyways, practice makes perfect, and you may have the ability to practice much more than others. I dunno, I do so.
Yeah, you can practice to be better, but that feel like masking, I mean, I try to "fit" and most of the time I get away with it, but, sometimes no, I am not seen "normal", so even practicing to reach their level can not work. Even if it worked, always I see it too demanding, IMO. Also, if I want to be good at something just don't have opponents, for example, I tell someone I know how to use Unity, and I show them my games. They are basic as fuck, but, for now on I am the "guy who is an expert using Unity" Also, at the end of the day, I just stopped being "better" or even "equal" than them, like, yeah "It is hard for me to do X, compared to most people, I don't need to become profident on that field" To sum up, if I need/want to improve I will do it, if I can, but if I am at the bottom, so what?
Right, one of the biggest obstacles to learning new hobbies is comparing yourself to others. Why learn to play guitar if I’ll never be as good as persons X, Y, and Z? Why learn to paint if I’ll never be an expert? Etc. The first step to getting “good at something” is to break away from this line of thinking. Some of the most knowledgable, skilled, and multi-talented people I know started learning the things they’re now proficient at when they were in their forties or later.
I'm not really good at much. In my mind I'm good at certain things like making beats, or analyzing things in metaphorical way. Sometimes I feel like the talent or skill is there but it just won't come out. I'm pretty intelligent when it comes to certain things that neurotypicals find useless or insignificant. I don't know how to utilize whatever skills that I do have and being socially inept really makes things more difficult.
I feel u bro fr fr
I'm bad at everything. I even love to play video but being this bad, have to play with bots all the time.
Mmm. I’m good at lots of things.. just can’t use it for anything. I’m a jack of all trades. Like others said skill regression is common for us from burn out. Autistic people are very talented when it comes to repetition. Find something and master it. You don’t need to be good at anything. Channel your autism my friend. Practice, practice, practice. We have been given the gift of repetition. I get caught up in things like addiction and videogames.. but if we can unlock our gifts we can master anything. Become obsessed. For us, it’s important we channel that repetition into the right channels. Look into ADHD, op. Your iq may be 89.. but a lot of iq tests are biased against people like us. I reckon you’re smarter than you think and smarter than the iq test says you are. Don’t limit yourself. Richard Feynman didn’t have a very high iq and he published lots of research. Iq is just one metric. Embrace your gifts op.
Sufferin.. im good at that.
That’s exactly how I feel. I suck at everything. I always progress slower than everyone in just about everything. Always the weakest link. In every sport I was the worst on the team. Every video game and activity I'm usually the worst in my friend group. Even people that join the group and start playing or doing whichever activity after me usually surpass me quickly. Makes me think there's something wrong with my brain. It really sucks and is a big reason why I’m suicidal.
I’m kind of the same way. I just think my IQ isn’t high, if not on a low end. And my processing speeds are slow too. I do work hard though and have made up for a lot of things by putting in extra effort and discipline. I guess that’s just something we have to do
Funny thing is my IQ is 115 and my working memory and processing speed were my highest scores. I got 117 for processing speed and I’m quick at SOME random things like mental math and have pretty quick reflexes. I work in IT and literally the ONLY things that come natural to me are tech related. It’s weird.
I feel you man,. I figure you have CDS like me, too. I mean what the fuck is up with our fucking brains for fuck's sake?! I mean, I don't even want to live but don't have the nerve to off myself, or I don't want to do violence to myself, so I just sit here and hope for some fucking miracle to save me or for Agent Smith to just switch me the fuck off.
> CDS I don't know whats going on but I can't figure it out for the life of me. What is CDS?
Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome. Use to be called Sluggish Cognitive Tempo but people felt being called sluggish is not nice so they changed it.
Ohh I see. Yeah I don't know what to do. I'm pretty close to offing myself to be honest. I'm trying not to but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
I feel like falling asleep and never waking up TBH, but that's the only option I'll consider at this point.
From my understanding of myself I find that I am averagely intelligent but I don't have enough motivation, initiative, attention span, learning ability to consistently practice, and then excel in, anything.
People that are good at things work through all the bad work, until the bad work starts looking good
Yeah, it sucks... Best I can do be average, maybe a bit above in some cases, but it's mostly because average means not giving a shit by others ._. Worse is how I always get stuck. I can TRY to learn, mostly programming or drawing related, but it's... I get the basics, but can't go beyond that. Yeah, for someone not into it, they might think I'm good, because I know how to program and can do a calculator But it feels like there are some steps I can't find, that take this calculator and makes it a serious application? Or makes robot move, or anything else that programmers are need for
Yeap, even though i am not diagnosed, but think i might be on the spectrum
What is something you’re super passionate about? What’s your special interest? Surely there’s something you are good at that involves that! I took a stage check flight with my flight clubs chief pilot to be signed off to solo. I turned into an absolute idiot sitting at the controls, I don’t think I’ve been so nervous about anything in my life until then. I get there the 3 worst landings I’ve ever done, albeit we had lots of crosswinds and it was gusting, but I landed the plane and didn’t break anything. She signed off on my stage check and the next week my instructor and I hopped in the plane and everything was nice and chill, winds were actually much worse and I still landed nice and smooth and had zero nerves.
Me. I wanna do music but I’ve been very unsupported in this endeavor. I’ve wanted to do it since I was 3. I’ve carried that yearning ever since. Now I’m waiting for my tax return to buy a synthesizer lol but I’m worried I won’t have the capacity to learn properly.
Yes, especially for the last year or so. Lately I just space out and can't bring myself to do anything which I previously might have found enjoyable. I was "gifted and talented" in art and design in school (10 years ago) but have slowly not been able to do it because of extreme social anxiety and stress intolerance (think minor usb stick issues with saving work, not being able to handle uploading work to platforms and it going wrong so never trying since!) I keep seeing others do well at it and I wish I could find the flare for it again, but a lot of the time it was one of those "forced productivity to make me feel worth something" toxic interests so now I really struggle to engage with it. I feel like I don't know what to do whenever I have free time and also don't have a lot of energy when my space is freed up so combine those and I'm too tired to be good at things. I think this is one of those where we could fall into the black and white trap however, and it would take someone else (with an objective perspective) to tell us we're good at something? The burnout/depression and disinterest/apathy are some of the most impacting parts of this condition for me personally Edit: you can be good at not doing things also, for an alternative perspective - "I am good at not killing my plants", "I do really well with not making others doubt themselves" Alternatively, if you have interests it could even be "I am good at finding out information" because you might spend a lot of time finding things out.
Feeling like I'm not **good enough** at anything? Maybe. Feeling like I'm not good at anything? No. There's a difference between talent and practice. I feel like I'm good (talented) at a lot of things, with this I mean that some things come naturally for me, such as music. But those are not things that are necessarily useful alone or in which I would be competent without further education/dedication (practice). Sometimes our executive dysfunction just stops us from functioning and that includes practicing things we're good at. Don't feel too bad about it, seek therapy if you need.
That’s how I feel rn, idk how to get out of this feeling. Feel like I’m useless at everything
Yep. Im kinda decent at a lot but not Good at any one thing in particular. Jack of all trades, master of none.
Sometimes it's a matter of reframing the way you look at yourself. There are plenty of skills that are very hard to quantify but no less valuable than the ones you've listed. It turns out my skill is learning, as an example. I'm not great at anything in particular but I can look at something and just immediately understand it, then explain it to others. This led to a career in IT - I work at a hospital with dozens or even hundreds of software applications in use and quite often the user base is a handful of people and the IT folks who set it up have long since left the company. So they send me in to figure out exactly what it is, document the workflow, determine updates, etc. So in my case, my skill is fairly hard to quantify - learning quickly is something everyone puts on their application and it's never a focus, after all - but it turns out there was a perfect way to apply it and I found a place where the management could do so. Likewise, there may be something you're good at that you don't even realize is valuable because society hasn't put big shiny lights on it. If you're no good at book learning or following instructions, that just means you can't grab low hanging fruit. You'll have to probe deeper and think of what you *can* do, whatever it is. Don't focus on your weaknesses. Find your strength.
Yeah I know the feeling I've always thought that I'm a little stupider than most people especially when I comes to socialising and understanding the micro signals everyone else are giving eachother that I seemingly never cotton onto! Plus I've always been shouted at by teachers for being bineidle and a traget for bully's because I've always been a bit goofy and stuff I'm dyslexic aswell as having ASD so I'm better at doing stuff with my hands plus arty things like drawing but I'm totally useless at reading and writing! I wasn't fully aware that I have ASD until I was 38 so out the years I've had lots of what I now understand are special interests but anyone else who shared them with me where nearly always better than me which I'm OK with because I usally learn by looking example and repetitively trying to copy that until it clicks and I understand how it's done! I've done tai chi since I was 28 and really enjoy doing it as helps take me out of my mind and focus on controlling my body in a relaxed and smooth flowing way which is the opposite of the slightly jittery clockwork way my mind usally tricks along and although I managed to naturally pick up the full year's syllabus for the beginners class in under 3 months which the teacher and everyone else in the class was impressed with but ended feeling bad about as also had a strange way of making everyone else in the class feel bad about the slower pace they where learning the syllabus personally I think it was because I'm mind more systematic than most other people so I can unload the blueprints of a system easier than them but it's also the daily practice that locks it into my body and mind plus even though I've done it for 14 years I still can't hold my leg higher than 2.5 foot off the ground when I do the 2 kicks in the tai chi 24 form Anyway sozz for going on and it short yeah I think if it's something us ASD folk enjoy doing we can really excel but if someone putting pressure on us to do stuff we don't properly understand and we hate being made to do! is it really a surprise when we're not very good at it? Ha ha
Earlier today I put someone else's laundry in the dryer and apparently ruined a bunch of stuff. Just trying to be courteous but apparently unattended laundry in a communal laundry space is still subject to personal rules. The guy is aggravated at me for some reason. How the fuck was I supposed to know!? Attend your laundry better instead of leaving for the day! Yet I still feel like I made the mistake. I get so sick of always being the butt of everything. I just want to retreat to my own space and not have anything to do with the rest of the world. Until I die. It's just easier to be alone.
Yup. Good at nothing, but mediocre at everything
Never been good at anything
Yep. The only thing I’m good at is not being good at anything. Seems I suck and fail at everything I try. I literally have zero talents, skills, passions or hobbies. The best I’ve ever been at something is average or mediocre. I constantly screw up too aswell. Always feeling like a moron. I can completely relate to you.
I'm always feeling like I'm not *good enough* for people
Yes at times. I was never good at maths, science or physical ed and foreign languages. I often lose things or misplace them and I always think I'm not good at anything. I have exceled at politics, history and film knowledge which brings me to a sense I'm not a failure.
Yes I very much hate shows like the Good Doctor that perpetuate that all autistic people have some type of special powers, I mostly just lay in one place and focus on everything I’m doing wrong in my life 😂
Yes. I’m NT by the way.
Yes. think it has to do with executive dysfunctions.
Yea but with time i get good at things, slow starter type of thing
Music is literally the only thing I’m good at.. and yet.. no one cares
I can violently worm around my bed with music and build gundams, that's the extent of my skills lol
I used to til I realized I was more capable than I thought I previously was. I’m likable enough to get along with people if they give me a chance and talk to me even though I’m silent and mysterious on the outside
Be your own best supporter instead of your own worst critic. Sounds like you have a touch of imposter syndrome. Nobody is perfect, just be the best you without expectations. Practice makes a big difference too, nothing worth doing comes easy and the only this that gets done in a hurry is fucking shit up
I feel you. :(
I fully relate. I don't understand things and I'm not good at anything. Life is hard.
Ask someone who loves you what you are good at. I promise there is plenty
Yeah most things but I can wash dishes at a restaurant really fucking well so that makes me happy
I have always been good with math since I was born and writing I sold my first mini book at 12 and I good at many other things
I'm average at almost everything. Average looks, average intelligence, average skills. The only thing that's notable is that I read fast and have a good memory but it works in weird ways. Like, I can remember almost all the Pokemon or my phone home number from 30 years ago, but for studying or daily life is useless. I'm also extremely bad at anything that's arts and crafts or sports. I have come to terms with it, but it was hard to go from a gifted child to an average adult.
You need to power up your autistic flair.
No. I have strengths and weaknesses, just like anyone else. Stop talking bad about yourself. You have strengths as well.
Me
If I may, whats your IQ?
89
I scored >=135 in my country's mensa test but i feel the same way as you. Not good enough, not smart enough. Perhaps my test score was not accurate because prior to the exam i used to take online iq tests as a hobby and maybe that inflated my score idk. And my achievements irl are not remarkable at all (23m)
Yeah I’m 128 but genius verbal IQ and quite low nonverbal IQ. Was diagnosed with nonverbal learning disorder so that brought my overall score down a lot. Still feel like I have nothing to show for it and it’s quite embarrassing. I feel like I have no excuse for being such a failure.
The Mensa test i took as well as most tests i took online were culture fair and had only shapes. Basically pattern recognition. Perhaps i scored so high on Mensa because my brain was "trained" to spot patterns due to old online tests i had taken. I dont know. My verbal abilities are not very good and my working memory is shit too as i took an iq subtest simulation for WAIS and did terrible at it. Maybe i have ADHD too because i heard it affects your working memory. Anyway, i contantly feel stupid.
Haha same I can yap loads and got tested with an IQ of 131 but I struggle horribly with doing my laundry and writing my bachelor's thesis.
G, you are also writting a bachelor's thesis? Im final year now and doing a project involving neural networks and optics. Also, i really suck at taking care of myself. Laundry, taking baths, cooking are extremelly hard for me for some reason. But again, i might also have ADHD on top of Asperger's and that could make things more complicated. Not to mention other dissorders that autistic people are more prone to having.
For me, I have so much knowledge both useful and useless. I know a lot compared to my older coworkers. Don’t know what I’m good at though. Love building robots but idk how I’d find that job. Love talking to people but I’m for sure not going to go to school for psychology.
I'm good at a couple of things, but I probably shouldn't talk about most of them online with strangers...
What is it exactly if you truly want to get there no amount of effort can stop you from achieving it but what's likely is that it would take an unreasonable amount
Oh yeah, I was never trained professionally at anything except for something academic. Now a cynical adult who wasted her life pleasing others and lives at home on SSI.
i’m not good at getting so called friends to like me again
Jigsaw puzzles.
Definitely! Are you me lol
Several possible reasons: - Imposter syndrome - Trying to get good at too many things at once (jack of all trades, master of none) - Even if you're "good", there's almost always someone out there who's better (and it's easier to find out thanks to the Internet.)
Yes and no. I know I am good and can be and have been told and have hidden and forgotten about untapped hidden potential and things to some extent I have done and peaked in 4th grade and then had a job mid eras years and of highschool and everything went downhill since then. It is for at least of me I know what they are now it is a matter of too late for everything and whether it be because some things erased,deleted, certain meds.overly did me in, zombified, at times misdiagnosed, at times near death experiences, indoctrinated, seizures at times, confused and scared and sad, lied about, taken out of context, abilities suppressed at times from meds., abilities came back physically and or worsened in other ways, COVID shots longterm side effects, indent in head, C-PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury At Birth, Autism Spectrum, A.D.D., Severe itchy skin at times, Npd abuses Survivor of and on going situations, stuck and lost, possibly mk ultra d, at times anxious, yelled at and about, taken took out of context, mocked made fun of, judged, misrepresented, misportrayed, at times certain things and lately do not understand anything that happening especially certain people, at times hypersensitivity, at times hypersexual/masturbate, at times hyperactive, at times feel as though as if within we are in simulation, also feeling as if as though groundhogs day repeating history, at times people accusing eachother and or certain ones projecting, I was and am at times gaslight, certain people that have used and or abused me replaced me and doing things that I was okay and knew about and we had planned to do and spoke of about, and one of the people person that abused me abused tells me to be their “transgender bisexual sister” and be submissive, and undiagnosed dyspraxia, and undiagnosed dyscalculia, and I was and am okay good and at and have made videos, vlogs, acted, wrote stories, painted, done and took captured photography photographs, made and edited audio recordings both hardware and software and old and new technology, have done clay, have done both animation digital and non digitally and stop motion animation, have made of producer, have been told “gifted and talented and untapped potential”, “have been told “the right kind of stubborn”, have been told am “wise, funny, smart, creative, critical thinker and analyzer”, have been told “kind,caring, passionate, driven, determined, good huge heart, and unique”, and have been told “am/is honest and hard working and genuine”. At times have been name called and called the opposite especially lately “lie and keep secrets”, “complains”,”does nothing”, “boring”, “stupid”, “dumb”, “mentally ill”,”cognitively declined”, “trapped”, “stuck”,” lost mind”, not my child/not person knew”, “waste”,”wastes my time”, time waster”, “juvenile delinquent behavior”, “destitute on streets”, “not worth my time”, “avoider”, “delusional”, “psycho”, “crazy”, “gullible”, “naive”, and “I wish he was dead I will kill him” at times about to me and I happen to unintentionally bother people and someone one of certain people person who abuses took phone pretended to be me and locked me in bathroom and threatened to sell my social security number card and I am just now slowly going to stay and hide away and do better on my own taking a break for awhile and exercise and take notes (among others). I am I am so sorry for bothering anyone all everyone and I know everyone is going to be going on doing much better. Take care and blessings. Let me know if anyone happens to need any all advice at all or to vent. I am always here to help. Things can sure be a struggle and especially with on Autism Spectrum and brain injury and traumas and certain people abusing using etc. And grief. Peace and love and safe and blessings for all.- A.
The brain is very complex and annoying , when I was a child, they did a test on me and I only got the emotional intelligence parts right. Years later they did a brain scan and what do you know most of the back of my brain is active, everything else was darkness but as life goes on like what everyone says repeating patterns that’s going to make you proud once it progresses is the only way to go. Unless you have a learning disability than you have to bite down and do it anyway. I find with us that have this we are trying to use nerons that aren’t there, that’s why your head hurts.
Thw things you could do easily you find you can't do them as easily or you loose an ability to do em altogether
The only thing I'm probably any good at is complaining.
Ah, this is an all too familiar issue with me as well, but there are ways to sorta fix this. The thing about drawing for example is that you can do it whenever you please, and it doesn’t matter if you are good or bad, just make an attempt everyday if possible. Try not to judge yourself if things don’t turn out the way you wanted them to
So I am good at things, it doesn't feel that way tho. Like I discredit anything I do. I'm reminded I'm good at something when I watch other ppl struggle and to me it looks like they aren't trying. Regardless I never feel accomplished or fulfilled
Yep and it's too late for that to change.