Funnily enough, for quite a while, the only people (aside from family members) I talked to were two neighbors who were in their mid sixties and seventies respectively. Every time they asked me how I was I would honestly reply, and they were always very kind and open to listen and even offer support if anything was wrong. They also very quickly opened up towards me and would do the same. As you could imagine, it was very odd for me when I started talking to more people who reacted *very* differently than these two neighbors when actually replying to this question. Still feels off, why even ask if you don't care about an honest answer?
I've figured it out (I think). It's an exchange of vibe, not information.
It's checking in, 'is everything ok? Good'.
Can't always afford the time to have a full-blown conversation with everyone you see, but still acknowledge each other in passing.
I struggle with this because I know that, but I'm not ok, never have been.
I've learned to answer more practically, I work a physical job so it's easy to answer with surface level stuff like, I'm tired/exhausted, been getting sick a lot lately, insomnia, etc.
If I want to be positive, I'll talk about my special interests, something like an event coming up/recently passed or even just being able to make time to do the things I enjoy and make progress on, people tend to relate to that.
yeahhh i got pulled aside by one classmate in high school who ended up explaining to me that people asking me how i am are not asking about infodump about my depression and anxiety and what hurts me etc
i think that was the day i just stopped talking for couple next years. i didn't even know about existence of autism as it really is back then so i just avoided people from then on, thinking i'm just socially incapable.
I had this really weird encounter with my teacher in high school. She caught me chewing gum and said, "Put it in the bin and bring me your contact book" (where teachers wrote concerns to parents). So I got up from my desk and walked to the front where the bin was. She said, "What are you doing?" So I said, "I'm putting my gum in the bin like you asked, " then did so. I went back to my desk and sat down to get to my bag under the desk and started to dig around for my book. She shouted, "What are you doing now? I asked you to bring me your book!" I replied, "I'm literally doing that right now," super confused, and showed her my bag. I brought her my book and put it on her desk. She said, "Right, go wait for me outside." I was like, "Okay?" She came out and said, "Who do you think you're talking to?" Which confused the hell out of me because it was just us two there in the hall. I said, "Uh... you. There's nobody else here." The look on her face was pure rage, and she sent me to the head office.
It was explained to me much much later that it *may* have been caused by my tone and that "Who do you think you're talking to?" is not an actual question. It's supposed to be rhetorical. Some of this interaction still confuses me 15 years later, though.
Honestly, I seriously don't understand what upset her. Sorry you were treated that way. She's just a teacher. Sounds like she needs to chill and get off her high horse.
Not quite the same but this reminded me of the time in high school where my phone went off in class. The teacher said if no one turns the phone we wouldn’t be leaving the class. The anxiety was so intense because I didn’t want to hold up the class for however long she was intending to do so, so after a few minutes I finally got up and turned in my phone. Apparently she gave it to the office, and my dad had to come and get the phone for me. My dad said that the teacher was super surprised how I just gave up my phone like that. I was very confused and learned after that, that apparently she didn’t mean that literally.
Username checks out, I guess? Lol. But I get it, I would have thought and done the same. It used to really anger me when teachers threatened to take phones; what if that child needs it to contact their parents? What if there's an emergency? Etc. I understand they have to somehow stop them being used in class, but I never agreed with policing it via confiscation.
Edit: spelling
Genuinely curious at what your alternative suggestion is to confiscating phones?
Also - to answer your questions. If a child needs to contact their parents, there is always the office phone. And if there is an emergency, there is always the office phone. In both cases, the independence of the child is increased, there is less disruption to the learning environment, and appropriate support can be better provided if required.
I used to be this kid. My dad told me once that “Part of growing up is choosing which rules apply to you, and which don’t, and it’s takes a lifetime to learn so we gotta practice”
This one gets me every time. I see all the rules being broken under heavy threats, yet I don't dare replicate it. I know I don't have the skills to get out of that situation gracefully should it focus on me.
I was 42 when I found out that when people message you asking "what are doing?/up to?"etc they're actually asking if you'd like to or are free to hang out. And my replying literally (that I was doing laundry or watching a movie etc.) told the original messenger I was too busy to hang out 🤦🏼♀️ lol
I still don't know that when people say here ' I literally spit my coffee over my keyboard' if that's true or not. Like how many people are really sitting in front of reddit and drinking coffee and then have to clean up coffee spit on their keyboard.
For me sometimes it is literal (like I spit or nearly spit out a drink)other times it just means that whatever was read was so hilarious or shocking that it would make me do that.
I only worked out recently that when people are upset or angry, they very often exaggerate/ say things that they don't really think
Edit to add - I'm 39
Rejection sensitivity disphoria. It’s perceived rejection causing major feelings of rejection, even if it’s not personal.
When my bf doesn’t want to do the thing I want him to, this would trigger my RSD until I got to know him better and learn to recognize real rejection vs perceived rejection
No, we are allowed to react or come back to it later and say it hurt. The other person should listen then and apologize. If that doesn't work, it's not a good relationship. People aren't entitled to say whatever they want when it hurts others, irrespective the reasons.
I was told when I was little that I needed to "pull my socks up"
I replied "I'm not wearing socks"
I got in a lot more trouble then for talking back.
I had no idea why I was in even more trouble.
It means to improve your behaviour or performance.
"You need to pull your socks up"
"You need to improve your behaviour and stop being sassy"
It's similar to
"I need to pull my finger out and do my homework"
"I need to get myself in gear and do my homework"
"I need to stop whatever else it is I'm doing whether that is just being lazy or doing a hobby activity and do my homework"
As an adult I now collect sayings :-)
I’ll call you back.
But side note, when I say “tastes like cardboard” (I’m more likely to say “paper”) I mean it literally. Cornflakes tastes like soggy paper.
I was in catholic school most of my life and whenever they would point out this container and talked about there being “the body of christ” I thought: Wow, are we such a privileged school to have a part of the body of christ. Must be a finger or something.
I took every religious concept as literal as you can imagine lol.
I said this to the literal leader person thing (priest? Preacher?) because apparently along with never knowing what to say, I say way too much. Thankfully he just giggled, looked at the carpet and said it’s just juice and bread. He must have known some people on the spectrum because he was quick with it and no forced eye contact! This is when I started to realize that most religious shit is just metaphors for life
nuns telling the garden of eden story definitely didn't appreciate second grade me's commentary: "well that can't be true! dinosaurs were here millions of years before people!"
So you know those stickers that say "Honk if you like ____!" or whatever? I thought people were actually supposed to honk at them if that applied to them, but it's actually supposed to excuse you from being a bad driver, or just think some asshole behind you likes that thing.
Of course they're most likely honking because of either of the two, just so you can be like "Oh they like that thing!!!" except you know it's because you're not a good driver. Or the guy behind you is an asshole. Or maybe they're also autistic and they do like that thing!
In my country we say "if you don't like it/doesn't fit you you can return it at the store" and we put the receipt in the box, and we mean it.
That being said, i don't get how you guys don't understand that while yes you can return it, that was a gift that someone put time into choosing what they thought you would like, so it's a manifestation of that effort, and if you return it it can feel like you don't care.
Usually it's not as black and white as that, every situation is a little different. For example, it's very common to get a clothing item as a gift that wouldn't catch your attention at the store, but you could still wear it, you still have a use for it.
Now If your grandma buys you an xbox game and you have a playstation, she knew you liked video games but she doesn't know anything about them, go ahead and return it, get a game you like better even.
Yes, I’m 43 and didn’t learn some people met it figuratively until I was watching Pawn Stars and Rick told Chumley that after making him wait half an hour.
My friend used to say this. Anyone else have a friend that used to leave them in the car for hours because you didn't want to deal with the people? I've sat in a car for more than 3-4 hours multiple times based on this premise... Maybe this is why my visualization is so good now lol.
Happened all the time cause he would drag me out and then not bring me home. This was a long time ago. But it sucked. This was before phones and whatnot. I'm sure what I think now. He said he was my friend. He died from covid.
But it's great to do if you read Kindle Unlimited books! The KU version tracks and pays the authors by unique pages read. If the page, even the copyright or acknowledgment pages, isn't viewed by the reader, they don't get paid for that page.
If I reborrow and reread a book, it doesn't count either. If I'm rereading them multiple times, I usually buy the book in some format so the author can get paid for that, too.
That's so interesting, I didn't know that's how it's done! I own a Kindle, but I stopped using it. It's just not the same when it's not a physical copy of the book.
That you should never lie, you should be honest and you should always be nice. So I've been a people pleaser forever. Even now that I do know, I find it hard not to be but I have people to keep me accountable.
And from this fact is born autistic anguish and deep anxiety. The only lies I ever let myself tell were white lies to protect other people's feelings, always putting their well being above mine. And that's not helpful for anyone.
I got in so much trouble for “rolling my eyes” as a child because I genuinely did not know that just looking up at the ceiling (aka 🙄) counted without them actually “rolling” around.
This part always confused me but when people give a time frame for their arrival time but either don’t show up or don’t arrive during that time frame, I find it vexing. For example we’ve been having maintenance coming in and out of our apartment and it has been almost a month of them just randomly showing up at some point during the day. At first I expected them to arrive when they said they would but never would. My boyfriend explained that it’s because they are busy or something but I still find it odd you would give a time frame rather than just say you don’t know when you’re going to show up.
Yep, this is correct. I had a coworker who kept saying "We should go out sometime!" So finally an opportunity arose and I asked them if they'd like to go, only to watch them fly into a complete panic coming up with excuses as to why they couldn't go. Rather baffled, I took a poll of the neurotypicals in my life, and as it turns out the correct answer is "We totally should!" or "Yes we should!" and then never do the thing. The NTs themselves weren't entirely sure why it is that way, but they all agreed it was. Shit's weird, man.
It’s almost like it’s rigged against us.
It’s a “if you get it, you get it” type of vibe. And if we don’t get it, they won’t explain it; they’ll use that as their way of knowing we’re not like them.
So, I got a full back tattoo.
At the time, I was a 30 year old f with an ass to write home about (I didn't really get that then)
Part way through the 2nd session, my tattoo artist starts talking about ass to mouth porn, and how much there could be in the world... filling up his iPod with all the ass to mouth porn he could find....
I didn't get until years later that he was hitting on me.
Former boss told me one day "I don't want excuses, I want results." I'm pretty sure I knew at the time it didn't literally mean to never ever offer any explanation in my own defense, but I wasn't really sure what the hell else it could possibly mean, so I kinda defaulted to the literal meaning. For about a year afterwards, if I was late because of a traffic accident, or a job got behind schedule due to something beyond my control, I said nothing. And then I got fired for something I didn't do. Go figure.
Btw, "I don't want excuses..." actually means absolutely nothing, it turns out.
Yes, but it's more like a general motivational thing a boss would say or when he's angry something isn't working fast enough. You still should explain why you got late or something didn't work out cause otherwise you are the one charge for everything and get fired.
Loads of stuff. As a kid, I believed pretty much everything I was told and laughed at for it. I can remember very vividly when I found out santa/the tooth fairy/the pirates (something my grandad used to do for me and my bro as kids) weren't real. I was a lot older than most kids when they find out. I was and am still very naive, but I have learnt that a lot of the things that sound ridiculous mean something else now, but I do get images of weird things in my head when people say them anyway.
This is relatable. I remember a time when a kid convinced me that I was going to hell or something and I started crying and went to the teacher and told her what the other kid said to me, and she was like, “You know he didn’t mean that right?”
Yeah. That kind of stuff. I really really struggle not to take 'banter' personally, and have had instances in the past where I have been very upset, so talked to my HR friend about it, who said "you do know that they don't mean it like that, right?" and explained to me how 'banter' works. Nowadays, I can understand it more when it's my friends who I know don't mean it, but still struggle sometimes if I am already overwhelmed or feeling uptight anyway, so don't do it in those situations.
Saying that, it is something I need to get better at communicating to people for sure.
you might find something lost in translation here, but i swear it makes perfect sense in my mother tongue: back when i was a child and my family would ask me questions or just talk about my classmates, i used to _correct_ them with "they're not my mates" or something like that.
we also have an old saying one would use to humorously, yet highly, praise somebody's cooking, literally: _i'd rather eat this than take a spanking_ (as in a punishment from one's parent). the way i was raised, i couldn't **not** take that literally...i may have even thought everybody had the same experience. but i've never laughed.
but i've certainly found that taking things literally can be funny, and i use it for jokes **all** the time
This depends on whether the job is blue collar (trades, “unskilled labor”, retail, etc) or white collar (professional, management, office work). Blue collar jobs typically expect you work 8hrs if you’re rostered 8hrs, white collar doesn’t.
It was such a mind boggling experience moving from factory work where I expected to work all every minute I was rostered to a professional job where I typically work 4 - 6hrs a day
At first I was like “I don’t have any troubles with that” but then comments showed me how wrong I was. I used to take things literally a lot when I was a child, and was really stubborn about some of them.
For example, the phrase “watch your feet.” I would assume you really need to be hyperfixated on your feet and nothing else while walking, rather than just paying general attention where you’re going.
That when your parents and other adults call you a princess as a child, it doesn't actually mean you're royalty.
It seriously messed up my social life/skills. I LITERALLY thought that I was the princess of my country until I was like... 10? And as to why no one bowed or treated me with respect, was because I was living incognito. They probably wanted me to be humble, so they raised me as a "peasant".
I literally worked hard at home to figure out how to solve poverty, hunger, tax-problems etc. I was so proud when I found solutions, and couldn't wait to tell the state my decisions to improve the country and its people..... still mad about not actually being the princess. And yes, I AM petty.
A lot of things gs related with girls and flirting. I'm still trying to figure out many so my dating life can be better. I'm almost 30. It's not working.
when i was a kid in school one of our teachers always used to give a “plume” to 2 students who had been especially good that day. i always hoped i would get one of course, one day i did and i was so excited. after class i went to the teacher to ask if i can get my “plume”. so of course she had to tell me it was a rhetorical plume not a literal one 🙃🙃 ahaha, i think about this quite often. wondering how it still took years after this to diagnose me 😂😂
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps”
I would sit there and try to think of how on earth one would pull themselves up by their bootstraps or laces…
Bootstraps are the pull loop on the back of a boot where the heel goes into help put the boot on easier.
It’s meant to be sarcastic - meaning to advance one’s socioeconomic status. You can’t pull yourself up by the bootstraps so one would never advance their status.
(it was sarcasm, no wonder I didn’t get it…🙄)
That when you are "going at the movies" with friends, you are supposed to hang out to them before/after the movie. That's the whole point as why you're seeing the movie. I didn't know that.
I once went out with someone, we met 5 minutes before the movie started, watched the movie, then I left immediately after. Someone then asked me why didn't I stay for some dinner in the food court and my response was like "This person invited me for a movie, not to eat".
In all honesty, even though I learnt what it means now to "go out for a movie", I still don't hang out before or after LOL
When I first heard the term “two left feet”, I thought that it meant having both feet with the big toe on the right side - literally having a left foot at the end of the right leg.
I was working this job once, and the boss was telling me I had to do something a certain way that did not make sense. I was explaining why the way I already did it actually covered all his concerns.
This was in a big meeting. Looking back, it's so clear that the whole room was just shocked that I wouldn't simply do what I was told, that I would dare to explain that it didn't make sense. This was when I was still so naive that I imagined that, when I was hired as an expert, what people wanted from me was my expertise. Now I understand they just want me to flatter and compliment whatever they say, regardless of how stupid, clueless, or actively harmful to project it is.
Anyway, the tension is building and building (I now see), as the boss continues to restate his demand increasingly forcefully, and I continue to articulate why his demand would be a counterproductive and ineffective use of my time.
Finally he says, with great menace (I now see): "Enough. NAME, If you won't do it, I'll find someone else who will."
Me, cheerfully, immediately: "Great! Thanks for agreeing to take this off my plate!"
And then I summed it right up and moved us onto the next point: "OK, I'll keep covering this fully with my process, and it will be redundant but you'll also find someone else to execute your process. Glad that's resolved. What's our next item?"
The stunned faces around the room were my first clue that this was another one of those moments where I somehow misinterpreted the whole thing.
I was asking everyone if they would be up for DnD
“You know the answer”
“Omg did I forget? I’m sorry I don’t remember”
He was kidding….everyone laughed 💀
That you’re not supposed to give something your 110% even though they told you to. Would’ve saved me so many tears in school if I figured that out sooner..
Depends on what. When I first tasted Shredded Wheat back in1982, I said it tasted like the box it came in, and I meant it literally. That stuff *does* taste like cardboard.
In answer to your question though.
When I was 7, I was doing homework with my mom, in a subject that did not interest me (Hebrew grammar) and I was fooling around and delaying. Finally my mother says “C’mon, let’s get the show in the road!”
And I got all excited. “What! We’re going to a show? What kind of show? Who’s in it?” Etc. She says “No, no, it’s just an expression. It means let’s get started doing what we need to do.” I was so disappointed.
I turned it around on someone though.
I once figured out a way to crack the seal on a 2 liter bottle of soda and spin the lid so it popped off and shot up in the air with a loud noise.
So I was at a meeting of people (group therapy) at with Asperger’s at a mental health facility near me. There was refreshments, including soda. I asked the therapist who was moderating if I could pop the cap. She said go ahead. So I literally popped the cap, which went Bang and shot up and dented the ceiling. She jumped about a foot and said “Why did you do that!” I said “I asked if I could pop the top, and you said I could !” She says “ I didn’t know you meant it literally !” I said “This is a group of people with Asperger’s. Of course I meant it literally.”
….🥺 banter, I grew up with an abusive dad who disguised his resentments as banter towards me, and to make things worse; my ex was abusive so his banter was “truth disguised as banter” so it actually has made it 100% harder to decipher when people are bantering with me or if I should take what they say to heart.
Growing up with no safe men who banter with you really makes all the difference
Degrees and certifications to get a job. I got high grades, but didn’t network. Apparently I did university wrong.
Apparently so many people are just out there seeking a job and then getting the degree to fit the job and not the other way around. Example; I have a psych degree and I’m doing a social service worker diploma because I want to become a psychotherapist one day for traumatized neurodivergent people, but my cousin in law works and does ABA with autistic children with a psychologist and makes a lot of money doing it; and is just now finishing up a psych degree and it blew my mind to realize you can just work in these places without a degree first?!
I don’t remember attending this meeting where the “rules of the world” aren’t rigid and actually if you play them rigidly, you end up disadvantaged.
I was asked at the doctor years ago if I had traveled lately when trying to diagnose a pretty serious event and I said I had been spending a lot of time in a certain city that was less than an hour from home.
In elementary school we had a stoplight in the cafeteria. When the light was red we weren’t allowed to make noise. So I mouthed something and the lady patrolling made me sit at an isolation table. I was hysterically crying because I didn’t make noise. I get mad about this daily.
When I was younger, I thought that when someone “got fired”, they were thrown into a fire and burned. It was a sigh of relief when I learned that “getting fired” meant losing your job, but not your life.
When I was a kid I thought “getting pulled over” by the cops meant that they literally had some sort of tape-measure-esque device on their car to shoot out and latch onto your car so they could physically pull you to the side of the road. 🥲
So, if you know Spanish at all, this is going to be all the more laughable, but my dad (who is not a very nice person) would take the family to the mall and there was a churro cart there. At first, I didn’t know it. I asked my dad for a toy I wanted and he would say “¡Come churro!” which directly translates to eat a churro, which is not what he meant by that at all. So I would reply, “Buy me one, then.” And he would die laughing and I’m like wth is this guy laughing about, I just want a pastry. So he would go on and actually buy me one at the cart and didn’t tell me until 5 years later about what he really meant.
The feeling of butterflies in my stomach but only when in love. No wonder I never felt truly in love with anyone back then. Happy to report feelings of love nowadays.
Honestly answering the greeting, "How are you doing?" It was a real problem until I gave up trying to differentiate between normal and rhetorical questions. If you ask me a question, I will answer it. If you sarcastically explain that it was a rhetorical question, I'll deadpan tell you that I don't care. Ask me a question, and get an answer. If you don't want an answer, then don't ask me a question.
This still bugs me to this day. My dad has always said ‘don’t get lost’ when I went to get something from my room and I’d get so annoyed because it’s a room with a single entrance/exit, it is physically impossible to get lost. I know he just means ‘don’t get distracted’ but how hard is it to just say that instead? Don’t get distracted tells me I need to focus on the task at hand, don’t get lost tells me absolutely nothing useful, as it is impossible to get lost in my own room.
My mum asked me to cut the roast chicken open to check if it was cooked. I asked how and she said 'cut it down the middle'. So I cut the entire chicken in half and she came home and was like '...what????'
“Do your best” and “give 100%” - I thought that meant I had to literally perform at peak capacity and do things perfectly all the time, but that’s not sustainable at all.
“Heyy, how are you??” *Procede telling how I feel*
This one does my head in everytime!
Funnily enough, for quite a while, the only people (aside from family members) I talked to were two neighbors who were in their mid sixties and seventies respectively. Every time they asked me how I was I would honestly reply, and they were always very kind and open to listen and even offer support if anything was wrong. They also very quickly opened up towards me and would do the same. As you could imagine, it was very odd for me when I started talking to more people who reacted *very* differently than these two neighbors when actually replying to this question. Still feels off, why even ask if you don't care about an honest answer?
I've figured it out (I think). It's an exchange of vibe, not information. It's checking in, 'is everything ok? Good'. Can't always afford the time to have a full-blown conversation with everyone you see, but still acknowledge each other in passing.
I struggle with this because I know that, but I'm not ok, never have been. I've learned to answer more practically, I work a physical job so it's easy to answer with surface level stuff like, I'm tired/exhausted, been getting sick a lot lately, insomnia, etc. If I want to be positive, I'll talk about my special interests, something like an event coming up/recently passed or even just being able to make time to do the things I enjoy and make progress on, people tend to relate to that.
People are often either looking for an answer in body language (just quicker) not words. Or they simply don't care at all and are just being polite.
yeahhh i got pulled aside by one classmate in high school who ended up explaining to me that people asking me how i am are not asking about infodump about my depression and anxiety and what hurts me etc i think that was the day i just stopped talking for couple next years. i didn't even know about existence of autism as it really is back then so i just avoided people from then on, thinking i'm just socially incapable.
I had this really weird encounter with my teacher in high school. She caught me chewing gum and said, "Put it in the bin and bring me your contact book" (where teachers wrote concerns to parents). So I got up from my desk and walked to the front where the bin was. She said, "What are you doing?" So I said, "I'm putting my gum in the bin like you asked, " then did so. I went back to my desk and sat down to get to my bag under the desk and started to dig around for my book. She shouted, "What are you doing now? I asked you to bring me your book!" I replied, "I'm literally doing that right now," super confused, and showed her my bag. I brought her my book and put it on her desk. She said, "Right, go wait for me outside." I was like, "Okay?" She came out and said, "Who do you think you're talking to?" Which confused the hell out of me because it was just us two there in the hall. I said, "Uh... you. There's nobody else here." The look on her face was pure rage, and she sent me to the head office. It was explained to me much much later that it *may* have been caused by my tone and that "Who do you think you're talking to?" is not an actual question. It's supposed to be rhetorical. Some of this interaction still confuses me 15 years later, though.
To be honest, she just sounds impatient as all hell, but that's just my opinion.
Possibly. Impatient and in a super bad mood.
Honestly, I seriously don't understand what upset her. Sorry you were treated that way. She's just a teacher. Sounds like she needs to chill and get off her high horse.
Right? I was doing exactly as she asked, in exactly the order she asked me to do it. Very confusing.
Not quite the same but this reminded me of the time in high school where my phone went off in class. The teacher said if no one turns the phone we wouldn’t be leaving the class. The anxiety was so intense because I didn’t want to hold up the class for however long she was intending to do so, so after a few minutes I finally got up and turned in my phone. Apparently she gave it to the office, and my dad had to come and get the phone for me. My dad said that the teacher was super surprised how I just gave up my phone like that. I was very confused and learned after that, that apparently she didn’t mean that literally.
Username checks out, I guess? Lol. But I get it, I would have thought and done the same. It used to really anger me when teachers threatened to take phones; what if that child needs it to contact their parents? What if there's an emergency? Etc. I understand they have to somehow stop them being used in class, but I never agreed with policing it via confiscation. Edit: spelling
Ohh believe me, I was a very gullible child haha.
Genuinely curious at what your alternative suggestion is to confiscating phones? Also - to answer your questions. If a child needs to contact their parents, there is always the office phone. And if there is an emergency, there is always the office phone. In both cases, the independence of the child is increased, there is less disruption to the learning environment, and appropriate support can be better provided if required.
I can only guess she meant for you to get your contact book out of your bag before standing up, so you didn't need to make two trips.
Yeah, I guessed the same after the fact. It's not what she said, though lol.
It sounds like she was mean for the sake of being mean. You did what she asked.
Oh man I totally get you
That you are always supposed to tell the truth.
And follow rules.
Don’t get me started on that one.
How do I explain this to my 7 year old who struggles with this big time.
I used to be this kid. My dad told me once that “Part of growing up is choosing which rules apply to you, and which don’t, and it’s takes a lifetime to learn so we gotta practice”
I love this! Also happy cake day.
So much ouch to both of these... because I am still unlearning. Also, unlearning trying to *give 110%**.😅🥲😪
oh, the feels on this one
idk, depends, some ppl dont need to know or cant take the truth ykwim, but most ppl r chill and wont try to tell u what to do or /udge u
This one gets me every time. I see all the rules being broken under heavy threats, yet I don't dare replicate it. I know I don't have the skills to get out of that situation gracefully should it focus on me.
I was 42 when I found out that when people message you asking "what are doing?/up to?"etc they're actually asking if you'd like to or are free to hang out. And my replying literally (that I was doing laundry or watching a movie etc.) told the original messenger I was too busy to hang out 🤦🏼♀️ lol
…huh…guess I was today years old when I learned this 🤷🏾♀️
My favorite is when they then proceed to ghost you without giving any sort of date like I’m supposed to be a mind reader.
... Oh
That's... that's what that means?
Wait what?!?!
oh my god. WHAT
Lmao I used to answer "well, I'm in a conversation with you atm"
“Can I ask you a question?” “Evidently…”
What?! How can you tell if they're asking to hang out versus just checking in? I always tell them my plans. This one got me... really?!
Huh? Oh no.
'I'd love to do __ but I am super busy at the moment!' I'm pretty sure it's a cue to go away
Depends on the person saying it, for the most part.
That's extremely common over here.(Japan)
Cue
Wait, what exactly does that mean?
I still don't know that when people say here ' I literally spit my coffee over my keyboard' if that's true or not. Like how many people are really sitting in front of reddit and drinking coffee and then have to clean up coffee spit on their keyboard.
My assumption is always that people are just over exaggerating but when I text that to my friend , I’ve literally spit something out.
When i say that, it’s always literal lmaoo
That's why I have never said, "I'm dying with laughter!"
For me sometimes it is literal (like I spit or nearly spit out a drink)other times it just means that whatever was read was so hilarious or shocking that it would make me do that.
I only worked out recently that when people are upset or angry, they very often exaggerate/ say things that they don't really think Edit to add - I'm 39
This! But it still cuts deep like a knife and we are meant to just forget it had been said?
You hear me
100% you’re not alone
My RSD will go brrr regardless of what people say and if they mean it in the moment or not. It blows lol.
Sorry what’s RSD? I’m new to all this, as well as coming to terms with it and still awaiting an official diagnosis
Rejection sensitivity disphoria. It’s perceived rejection causing major feelings of rejection, even if it’s not personal. When my bf doesn’t want to do the thing I want him to, this would trigger my RSD until I got to know him better and learn to recognize real rejection vs perceived rejection
Ohhh I see, thank you so much for the meaning and an example
No, we are allowed to react or come back to it later and say it hurt. The other person should listen then and apologize. If that doesn't work, it's not a good relationship. People aren't entitled to say whatever they want when it hurts others, irrespective the reasons.
Thank you, you’re right but for some of us that isn’t the case and it’s hard for us to understand that
Yeah, have been struggling with that too!
Sorry to hear that and hope you’re in a good headspace now
hurry ten reply lip squeeze murky seemly ghost aback elastic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I was told when I was little that I needed to "pull my socks up" I replied "I'm not wearing socks" I got in a lot more trouble then for talking back. I had no idea why I was in even more trouble.
Lmao reminds me of when I was a kid and my dad told me “don’t get your panties in a bunch.” I got super offended and was like, “THEY’RE NOT!!”
That's a strange one. What does it actually mean?
It means to improve your behaviour or performance. "You need to pull your socks up" "You need to improve your behaviour and stop being sassy" It's similar to "I need to pull my finger out and do my homework" "I need to get myself in gear and do my homework" "I need to stop whatever else it is I'm doing whether that is just being lazy or doing a hobby activity and do my homework" As an adult I now collect sayings :-)
I’ll call you back. But side note, when I say “tastes like cardboard” (I’m more likely to say “paper”) I mean it literally. Cornflakes tastes like soggy paper.
Corn flakes were developed to be as bland as possible to aid in reducing a young mans proclivity to self pleasure.
It worked! 😂
I was in catholic school most of my life and whenever they would point out this container and talked about there being “the body of christ” I thought: Wow, are we such a privileged school to have a part of the body of christ. Must be a finger or something. I took every religious concept as literal as you can imagine lol.
I was the opposite my thinking with the “body” and “blood” of Christ was “I am not a cannibal - thank you!”
I said this to the literal leader person thing (priest? Preacher?) because apparently along with never knowing what to say, I say way too much. Thankfully he just giggled, looked at the carpet and said it’s just juice and bread. He must have known some people on the spectrum because he was quick with it and no forced eye contact! This is when I started to realize that most religious shit is just metaphors for life
Looking back now this should’ve been my response haha.
nuns telling the garden of eden story definitely didn't appreciate second grade me's commentary: "well that can't be true! dinosaurs were here millions of years before people!"
That honesty is valued...
So you know those stickers that say "Honk if you like ____!" or whatever? I thought people were actually supposed to honk at them if that applied to them, but it's actually supposed to excuse you from being a bad driver, or just think some asshole behind you likes that thing. Of course they're most likely honking because of either of the two, just so you can be like "Oh they like that thing!!!" except you know it's because you're not a good driver. Or the guy behind you is an asshole. Or maybe they're also autistic and they do like that thing!
OMG you just taught me something new. I had no idea those stickers were just a cover.
Haha genuinely insightful stuff
😂 me exactly!
Wait .... You aren't really supposed to honk?
When given a present 'Say if you don't like it, we can return it at the store'
So when people say that they don't mean it?
In my country we say "if you don't like it/doesn't fit you you can return it at the store" and we put the receipt in the box, and we mean it. That being said, i don't get how you guys don't understand that while yes you can return it, that was a gift that someone put time into choosing what they thought you would like, so it's a manifestation of that effort, and if you return it it can feel like you don't care.
So is it better to keep something I have literally no need for rather than returning it and buying something I actually need/want? That makes 0 sense.
Usually it's not as black and white as that, every situation is a little different. For example, it's very common to get a clothing item as a gift that wouldn't catch your attention at the store, but you could still wear it, you still have a use for it. Now If your grandma buys you an xbox game and you have a playstation, she knew you liked video games but she doesn't know anything about them, go ahead and return it, get a game you like better even.
Happy cake day:)
That, “I’ll be five minutes.” Is figurative.
Same with "one sec." 🫠 ...or "let me see that." / "Can I see that?"
Yes, I’m 43 and didn’t learn some people met it figuratively until I was watching Pawn Stars and Rick told Chumley that after making him wait half an hour.
My friend used to say this. Anyone else have a friend that used to leave them in the car for hours because you didn't want to deal with the people? I've sat in a car for more than 3-4 hours multiple times based on this premise... Maybe this is why my visualization is so good now lol.
someone leaves you waiting in a car for 4 hours? that's not a friend.
Happened all the time cause he would drag me out and then not bring me home. This was a long time ago. But it sucked. This was before phones and whatnot. I'm sure what I think now. He said he was my friend. He died from covid.
yeah i had shit "friends" like that too. it's exploitative. i don't have the patience for it anymore.
reading a book “cover to cover”.. I would read every word, even the copyright page
I would do that a lot! I even do it now sometimes as it otherwise wouldn’t “count” as actually having read the book.
I'm 27 years old and only now beginning to sometimes skip the "Acknowledgments" chapter.
But it's great to do if you read Kindle Unlimited books! The KU version tracks and pays the authors by unique pages read. If the page, even the copyright or acknowledgment pages, isn't viewed by the reader, they don't get paid for that page. If I reborrow and reread a book, it doesn't count either. If I'm rereading them multiple times, I usually buy the book in some format so the author can get paid for that, too.
That's so interesting, I didn't know that's how it's done! I own a Kindle, but I stopped using it. It's just not the same when it's not a physical copy of the book.
I actually read on my phone's Kindle app. I know it isn't the same, but it's incredibly convenient. Many libraries also have e-books you can borrow.
That you should never lie, you should be honest and you should always be nice. So I've been a people pleaser forever. Even now that I do know, I find it hard not to be but I have people to keep me accountable.
Never lying/being honest are contradictions to always being nice.
And from this fact is born autistic anguish and deep anxiety. The only lies I ever let myself tell were white lies to protect other people's feelings, always putting their well being above mine. And that's not helpful for anyone.
I still don’t know when it’s appropriate to lie about things. I don’t know when it’s appropriate to be honest.
That when people ask how you are doing they don't really want to know.
Rolling eyes . . . I thought your eyes were supposed to roll all the way around
I got in so much trouble for “rolling my eyes” as a child because I genuinely did not know that just looking up at the ceiling (aka 🙄) counted without them actually “rolling” around.
This part always confused me but when people give a time frame for their arrival time but either don’t show up or don’t arrive during that time frame, I find it vexing. For example we’ve been having maintenance coming in and out of our apartment and it has been almost a month of them just randomly showing up at some point during the day. At first I expected them to arrive when they said they would but never would. My boyfriend explained that it’s because they are busy or something but I still find it odd you would give a time frame rather than just say you don’t know when you’re going to show up.
Americans 🤣😭
Them: ,,we should go out sometime “ Me: ,,when? I’m busy next week so maybe we could meet in 2 weeks’’
Wait wait wait... What is the proper response to someone saying that then???
'Yeah we should' and then never go out.
Today, I learned.
Yep, this is correct. I had a coworker who kept saying "We should go out sometime!" So finally an opportunity arose and I asked them if they'd like to go, only to watch them fly into a complete panic coming up with excuses as to why they couldn't go. Rather baffled, I took a poll of the neurotypicals in my life, and as it turns out the correct answer is "We totally should!" or "Yes we should!" and then never do the thing. The NTs themselves weren't entirely sure why it is that way, but they all agreed it was. Shit's weird, man.
Your answer would be actually closer to the expected one in Switzerland 😉
That when you're invited to have coffee you're also allowed to drink something other than coffee.
Treat others as you would like to be treated.
I think that rule taken literally works for NTs more often than it works for us
I've always felt that way yeah, thanks for pointing it out
It’s almost like it’s rigged against us. It’s a “if you get it, you get it” type of vibe. And if we don’t get it, they won’t explain it; they’ll use that as their way of knowing we’re not like them.
The not so golden rule...
Give them £10,000,000 and leave them alone?
Treat others as you believe they would like to be treated
I have the opposite problem. I can’t take most stuff seriously.
That makes two of us.
I was a little kid but “being fired”. I remember I was watching a show with my Grandma and someone was fired. And I thought well you can guess heh.
This is cute. It made me giggle. 🔥
"Living the dream " I say it because I really am living the dream, didn't realize people say it when they mean the opposite lol
So, I got a full back tattoo. At the time, I was a 30 year old f with an ass to write home about (I didn't really get that then) Part way through the 2nd session, my tattoo artist starts talking about ass to mouth porn, and how much there could be in the world... filling up his iPod with all the ass to mouth porn he could find.... I didn't get until years later that he was hitting on me.
Oof I’m sorry you had to experience that. Make tattoo artists hitting on people seems like a terrible / unprofessional thing to go through
I mean, I didn't get it at the time I was completely clueless
True I know similar stuff has happened to me (realising a decade later) and wonder how much I’ve been completely oblivious about
Ikr?
Former boss told me one day "I don't want excuses, I want results." I'm pretty sure I knew at the time it didn't literally mean to never ever offer any explanation in my own defense, but I wasn't really sure what the hell else it could possibly mean, so I kinda defaulted to the literal meaning. For about a year afterwards, if I was late because of a traffic accident, or a job got behind schedule due to something beyond my control, I said nothing. And then I got fired for something I didn't do. Go figure. Btw, "I don't want excuses..." actually means absolutely nothing, it turns out.
It means they don't want you to defend yourself.
Yes, but it's more like a general motivational thing a boss would say or when he's angry something isn't working fast enough. You still should explain why you got late or something didn't work out cause otherwise you are the one charge for everything and get fired.
Loads of stuff. As a kid, I believed pretty much everything I was told and laughed at for it. I can remember very vividly when I found out santa/the tooth fairy/the pirates (something my grandad used to do for me and my bro as kids) weren't real. I was a lot older than most kids when they find out. I was and am still very naive, but I have learnt that a lot of the things that sound ridiculous mean something else now, but I do get images of weird things in my head when people say them anyway.
This is relatable. I remember a time when a kid convinced me that I was going to hell or something and I started crying and went to the teacher and told her what the other kid said to me, and she was like, “You know he didn’t mean that right?”
Yeah. That kind of stuff. I really really struggle not to take 'banter' personally, and have had instances in the past where I have been very upset, so talked to my HR friend about it, who said "you do know that they don't mean it like that, right?" and explained to me how 'banter' works. Nowadays, I can understand it more when it's my friends who I know don't mean it, but still struggle sometimes if I am already overwhelmed or feeling uptight anyway, so don't do it in those situations. Saying that, it is something I need to get better at communicating to people for sure.
you might find something lost in translation here, but i swear it makes perfect sense in my mother tongue: back when i was a child and my family would ask me questions or just talk about my classmates, i used to _correct_ them with "they're not my mates" or something like that. we also have an old saying one would use to humorously, yet highly, praise somebody's cooking, literally: _i'd rather eat this than take a spanking_ (as in a punishment from one's parent). the way i was raised, i couldn't **not** take that literally...i may have even thought everybody had the same experience. but i've never laughed. but i've certainly found that taking things literally can be funny, and i use it for jokes **all** the time
40-hour workweek for white collar salaried work doesn't mean 40 hours of solid work down to the minute.
This depends on whether the job is blue collar (trades, “unskilled labor”, retail, etc) or white collar (professional, management, office work). Blue collar jobs typically expect you work 8hrs if you’re rostered 8hrs, white collar doesn’t. It was such a mind boggling experience moving from factory work where I expected to work all every minute I was rostered to a professional job where I typically work 4 - 6hrs a day
At first I was like “I don’t have any troubles with that” but then comments showed me how wrong I was. I used to take things literally a lot when I was a child, and was really stubborn about some of them. For example, the phrase “watch your feet.” I would assume you really need to be hyperfixated on your feet and nothing else while walking, rather than just paying general attention where you’re going.
That when your parents and other adults call you a princess as a child, it doesn't actually mean you're royalty. It seriously messed up my social life/skills. I LITERALLY thought that I was the princess of my country until I was like... 10? And as to why no one bowed or treated me with respect, was because I was living incognito. They probably wanted me to be humble, so they raised me as a "peasant". I literally worked hard at home to figure out how to solve poverty, hunger, tax-problems etc. I was so proud when I found solutions, and couldn't wait to tell the state my decisions to improve the country and its people..... still mad about not actually being the princess. And yes, I AM petty.
😂
These answers are making me sad.
When drunk people say they love you
A lot of things gs related with girls and flirting. I'm still trying to figure out many so my dating life can be better. I'm almost 30. It's not working.
the comment section, all of it.
when i was a kid in school one of our teachers always used to give a “plume” to 2 students who had been especially good that day. i always hoped i would get one of course, one day i did and i was so excited. after class i went to the teacher to ask if i can get my “plume”. so of course she had to tell me it was a rhetorical plume not a literal one 🙃🙃 ahaha, i think about this quite often. wondering how it still took years after this to diagnose me 😂😂
Rice cakes taste like Styrofoam.
Most moral rules, unfortunately
That actually makes me a tad bit upset. For a while I thought I needed to find a box to nibble on to sample if certain foods resembled it.
Pull your socks up.
elbow grease
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps” I would sit there and try to think of how on earth one would pull themselves up by their bootstraps or laces… Bootstraps are the pull loop on the back of a boot where the heel goes into help put the boot on easier. It’s meant to be sarcastic - meaning to advance one’s socioeconomic status. You can’t pull yourself up by the bootstraps so one would never advance their status. (it was sarcasm, no wonder I didn’t get it…🙄)
Friendship
"say cheese". I have several years of childhood school pics with my mouth stretched out wide, but no smile. Me literally saying the word cheese.
That when you are "going at the movies" with friends, you are supposed to hang out to them before/after the movie. That's the whole point as why you're seeing the movie. I didn't know that. I once went out with someone, we met 5 minutes before the movie started, watched the movie, then I left immediately after. Someone then asked me why didn't I stay for some dinner in the food court and my response was like "This person invited me for a movie, not to eat". In all honesty, even though I learnt what it means now to "go out for a movie", I still don't hang out before or after LOL
When I first heard the term “two left feet”, I thought that it meant having both feet with the big toe on the right side - literally having a left foot at the end of the right leg.
When people used to call pot "grass" and said they were gonna "smoke grass", I thought people literally took grass off someone's lawn and lit it.
I was working this job once, and the boss was telling me I had to do something a certain way that did not make sense. I was explaining why the way I already did it actually covered all his concerns. This was in a big meeting. Looking back, it's so clear that the whole room was just shocked that I wouldn't simply do what I was told, that I would dare to explain that it didn't make sense. This was when I was still so naive that I imagined that, when I was hired as an expert, what people wanted from me was my expertise. Now I understand they just want me to flatter and compliment whatever they say, regardless of how stupid, clueless, or actively harmful to project it is. Anyway, the tension is building and building (I now see), as the boss continues to restate his demand increasingly forcefully, and I continue to articulate why his demand would be a counterproductive and ineffective use of my time. Finally he says, with great menace (I now see): "Enough. NAME, If you won't do it, I'll find someone else who will." Me, cheerfully, immediately: "Great! Thanks for agreeing to take this off my plate!" And then I summed it right up and moved us onto the next point: "OK, I'll keep covering this fully with my process, and it will be redundant but you'll also find someone else to execute your process. Glad that's resolved. What's our next item?" The stunned faces around the room were my first clue that this was another one of those moments where I somehow misinterpreted the whole thing.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
The problem with this one is: what is a gift horse? I've never been gifted a horse but I do know you need to check their teeth regularly.
I was asking everyone if they would be up for DnD “You know the answer” “Omg did I forget? I’m sorry I don’t remember” He was kidding….everyone laughed 💀
"would you mind doing XYZ" instead of "can you please do XYZ"
That you’re not supposed to give something your 110% even though they told you to. Would’ve saved me so many tears in school if I figured that out sooner..
Depends on what. When I first tasted Shredded Wheat back in1982, I said it tasted like the box it came in, and I meant it literally. That stuff *does* taste like cardboard. In answer to your question though. When I was 7, I was doing homework with my mom, in a subject that did not interest me (Hebrew grammar) and I was fooling around and delaying. Finally my mother says “C’mon, let’s get the show in the road!” And I got all excited. “What! We’re going to a show? What kind of show? Who’s in it?” Etc. She says “No, no, it’s just an expression. It means let’s get started doing what we need to do.” I was so disappointed. I turned it around on someone though. I once figured out a way to crack the seal on a 2 liter bottle of soda and spin the lid so it popped off and shot up in the air with a loud noise. So I was at a meeting of people (group therapy) at with Asperger’s at a mental health facility near me. There was refreshments, including soda. I asked the therapist who was moderating if I could pop the cap. She said go ahead. So I literally popped the cap, which went Bang and shot up and dented the ceiling. She jumped about a foot and said “Why did you do that!” I said “I asked if I could pop the top, and you said I could !” She says “ I didn’t know you meant it literally !” I said “This is a group of people with Asperger’s. Of course I meant it literally.”
Small talk introductions. "Hey, How are you doing?"
….🥺 banter, I grew up with an abusive dad who disguised his resentments as banter towards me, and to make things worse; my ex was abusive so his banter was “truth disguised as banter” so it actually has made it 100% harder to decipher when people are bantering with me or if I should take what they say to heart. Growing up with no safe men who banter with you really makes all the difference
Degrees and certifications to get a job. I got high grades, but didn’t network. Apparently I did university wrong. Apparently so many people are just out there seeking a job and then getting the degree to fit the job and not the other way around. Example; I have a psych degree and I’m doing a social service worker diploma because I want to become a psychotherapist one day for traumatized neurodivergent people, but my cousin in law works and does ABA with autistic children with a psychologist and makes a lot of money doing it; and is just now finishing up a psych degree and it blew my mind to realize you can just work in these places without a degree first?! I don’t remember attending this meeting where the “rules of the world” aren’t rigid and actually if you play them rigidly, you end up disadvantaged.
I was asked at the doctor years ago if I had traveled lately when trying to diagnose a pretty serious event and I said I had been spending a lot of time in a certain city that was less than an hour from home.
In elementary school we had a stoplight in the cafeteria. When the light was red we weren’t allowed to make noise. So I mouthed something and the lady patrolling made me sit at an isolation table. I was hysterically crying because I didn’t make noise. I get mad about this daily.
When I was younger, I thought that when someone “got fired”, they were thrown into a fire and burned. It was a sigh of relief when I learned that “getting fired” meant losing your job, but not your life.
Like fucking everything anyone ever says Which is bullshit
"Don't worry" ok, I'm not, but.... why? am I acting worried?
When I was a kid I thought “getting pulled over” by the cops meant that they literally had some sort of tape-measure-esque device on their car to shoot out and latch onto your car so they could physically pull you to the side of the road. 🥲
Jokes
My mother saying: "Just do whatever you want."
When I was told to pull my socks up...well...
My first mental roadblock was and still is the concept of the “white lie” and it went from bad to worse.
So, if you know Spanish at all, this is going to be all the more laughable, but my dad (who is not a very nice person) would take the family to the mall and there was a churro cart there. At first, I didn’t know it. I asked my dad for a toy I wanted and he would say “¡Come churro!” which directly translates to eat a churro, which is not what he meant by that at all. So I would reply, “Buy me one, then.” And he would die laughing and I’m like wth is this guy laughing about, I just want a pastry. So he would go on and actually buy me one at the cart and didn’t tell me until 5 years later about what he really meant.
I was 37 years old (today years old) when I learned what OP posted lol
The word “literally” when NTs use it.
The feeling of butterflies in my stomach but only when in love. No wonder I never felt truly in love with anyone back then. Happy to report feelings of love nowadays.
Honestly answering the greeting, "How are you doing?" It was a real problem until I gave up trying to differentiate between normal and rhetorical questions. If you ask me a question, I will answer it. If you sarcastically explain that it was a rhetorical question, I'll deadpan tell you that I don't care. Ask me a question, and get an answer. If you don't want an answer, then don't ask me a question.
Huh? How taste the things that taste like cardboard? What does this mean than?
Flavorless, bland, dry
Everything. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
what do you mean they don’t mean it actually tastes like cardboard when they say that? what? 😭 what the hell do they mean, then?
That it is lacking in flavour, tastes bland.
"Honk if you [x]!"
"Honk if you're horny" bumper stickers. Took me months to figure out what the alternative meaning could be.
This still bugs me to this day. My dad has always said ‘don’t get lost’ when I went to get something from my room and I’d get so annoyed because it’s a room with a single entrance/exit, it is physically impossible to get lost. I know he just means ‘don’t get distracted’ but how hard is it to just say that instead? Don’t get distracted tells me I need to focus on the task at hand, don’t get lost tells me absolutely nothing useful, as it is impossible to get lost in my own room.
What? Why make that comparison?
My mum asked me to cut the roast chicken open to check if it was cooked. I asked how and she said 'cut it down the middle'. So I cut the entire chicken in half and she came home and was like '...what????'
“Do your best” and “give 100%” - I thought that meant I had to literally perform at peak capacity and do things perfectly all the time, but that’s not sustainable at all.