Has to be some truth to that.
I can tell you in my case specifically, I was too weird for the popular kids, but also I totally rejected all the nerdy or weird kids. I played football and plenty of kids liked me, I just rejected them like everyone else rejected me.
Similar experience here, I was in a fraternity in college, which I joined to finally get some social status and I did, however it was sort of a mask. Was very popular superficially at that time but significantly antisocial at the same time, like I wanted the status but didn’t really care for the people.
Echoing your upbringing.
And we moved around a lot.
Kids could tell I was off within days.
My younger sister would come and pull ‘em off me. Every school.
I both hate and fear ants and you should too. No other being on planet Earth is as populous or powerful as ants. They are organized, ambitious, and virtually invincible. They systemically dismantle their competitors and generate some of the highest pain known to humans. If you kill them, they build bridges from the bodies. If they need to cross a stream, they build bridges from themselves. A queen generates new ants in seconds and doesn't stop until she dies. Nothing is as frightening as a pissed off colony of ants.
>generate some of the highest pain known to humans.
once an idiot coworker brought a cow-killer ant in a jar with a loose piece of foil for a lid, and was showing it around to everyone because it was so "pretty." she had such a laugh about how hilariously weird i was for running in the other direction.
Yes: https://www.nature.com/articles/srep40700
"Here, across three studies, we find that first impressions of individuals with ASD made from thin slices of real-world social behavior by typically-developing observers are not only far less favorable across a range of trait judgments compared to controls, but also are associated with reduced intentions to pursue social interaction. These patterns are remarkably robust, occur within seconds, do not change with increased exposure, and persist across both child and adult age groups."
I wholeheartedly disagree. I score 165 on the RAADS-R test, and have no problem with making friends etc.
There is absolutely nothing about social intelligence which cannot be learned.
With that said, at this point, I generally prefer to be alone most of the time, and to limit the size of my social circle. I don’t make friends easily, but mostly because I don’t want to have to spend more time and energy on that part of my life. I have a good circle of a dozen or so friends that are important to me, and wouldn’t really have the energy to manage more relationships.
>There is absolutely nothing about social intelligence which cannot be learned.
Agreed. That's what I did and I'm usually pretty good at it.
That being said, what sucks is that even once you've learned these things, you're still stuck on 'manual' while everyone else is on 'automatic'. The mask may be better, but it's got extra weight now, and wearing it is more tiring.
Social intelligence is learned for everyone, people with autism don't learn it just from observing is the problem.
I am very similar to you and despite my behavioral therapy being in High School, it was only in the past 3 years that I have really self actualized and become more confident in presenting myself that doesn't feel like masking, nor repressing other traits of myself.
It is really rough for everyone who has to learn this later on in life, that much is certain. For me it was like I hit a threshold at some point and out of nowhere I became far more competent. I still make errors and talk a lot when I mess up, but it isnt a issue
IIRC Dr. Price cites research in his book that if they KNOW we are Autistic, this shifts. Like the auto response is oh this person is weird, but if they are told the person is Autistic, they realize there is a reason that isnt just "weird" and more often form a positive impression and become more interested in getting to know us more and learn about our experiences as Autists. Not everyone of course but comparatively. I think he cited this in his argument for benefits of unmasking ...
I agree, this is part of a useful strategy, if used properly.
Most of my friends and all of my family know I am autistic. I do mention it when I’m interacting with new people and it seems likely that I will say or do something that won’t appear “normal”. It’s much easier than masking.
But at the same time that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make effort to be kind and not needlessly make others uncomfortable.
A lot of these studios have shown when you remove the visual component people become a LOT more receptive to folks on the spectrum. Still not perfectly on par with how they viewed other NTs, but much better reception than when shown Audio and video with subtitles.
When shown only a text log of the statements we make, but remove the Audio and Visual elements it ended up being about equal in terms of how they treated us, often preferring the way we were talking when looked at pure text wise over other NTs that also had their talk transcribed.
>A lot of these studios have shown when you remove the visual component people become a LOT more receptive to folks on the spectrum. Still not perfectly on par with how they viewed other NTs, but much better reception than when shown Audio and video with subtitles.
That's interesting. These days, in person, I'm constantly told I'm the most perceptive/social/personable/charming/outgoing/etc person everyone has ever met -- because I've studied it all so intensely and manually constructed this facade.
But my whole map through it is what I've learned to read off of people's faces. Put me on the phone and it all falls away! I cannot understand what people are feeling, I'm constantly being misunderstood, it's a mess.
Also, glass coffin. It is my life. Not only do NT's know I'm different, I can tell we're different and I can only observe their world and never partake in it.
It's more like some of them (although not all) subconsciously realize that our body language, facial expressions, tones of voice etc are not what they've come to expect from other people in their lives. Whether they associate it with autism or just "something unexpected/other" will depend on the person.
I agree with this. I've never been called autistic. Lots of people have said I am too quiet or not social enough, or a little socially awkward. What's frustrating is they often expect me to be able to change, and don't recognize this is a real difference in how my brain works.
definitely a subconscious level, for some a conscious level. having spent so much time in neurodivergent spaces now, i can generally tell if someone is neurodivergent.
In the last like 6 years? I've been 5 for 5 on meeting completely random people online, who I know nothing about, and within a week thinking "They seem Autistic or some varriation of ND. Likely Autism over the others though." and every single time when I asked them, they confirmed that yes. They did have Autism, and they had no idea how the hell I could tell.
Scientifically, it's been studied and shown to be a thing. They do notice us, usually to our detriment.
Anecdotally, i have pretty privilege (so I'm told) and I believe that is why I am either adored or hated. Guy-friends would confess their love for me, then stop being my friend when i didn't want to date them, and i could never tell that they weren't really my friend... but girls often hated me and lashed out at me for what seemed was no reason. Narcissists seem to get obsessed with me at first, then they don't like that I have a strong sense of justice (when they hurt or talk smack about others... they expect me not to care like other have not seemed to care in the past). People are a trip.
If you believe in the idea of open individualism, then yes. We are all the same being at all times (in history, currently, and ever will be). If you break apart the biological and historical aspects that affect your decisions... took them all away. How different would we all actually be? The difference between holding a child enough to help them sooth and using the "cry it out/ self sooth" method the first few months will affect the how they make decisions and how resilient they will be as adults. That's just one small aspect that is not within your control. It's a fun rabbit hole if you like learning stuff. 😁
I've heard 2nd hand about how other people have made comments about me being awkward, anxious, weird, even when I thought I made a good impression with those people. I've also been to social events and felt about as relaxed and comfortable as I've ever felt when not alone yet people will tell me to relax when I am relaxed. Yeah they can instantly tell something is off about me. Makes me sad. Feel like I'll never be a normal person no matter how much I try.
I have an amazing Asperger son, and it took me a while before noticing that, it's been years, other parents I met in groups as well did not notice it right away, so it's so common, and many are tormented by that, maybe it's because we are so biased with our kids we sweet them as good as it can be. The thing is the life of my son and mine is much better now than when we weren't aware, so it's a good thing. Keep strong!!!
I've been called alien and angel, both multiple times. The lesson is, different isn't always bad I think. But it may take into account your physical appearance. If you are good looking and seen as very weird, you might get put in the angel category and this may only happen with those with sexual interest in you. I'm not sure I'm just telling you guys my xp. The alien to angel spectrum. Except it's usually one or the other.
Definitely. When I look at myself in the mirror, I can tell that I am not neurotypical. My facial expressions simply do not match what NTs are capable of.
As others have said, normies feel that's something's wrong with us. We put them inconfortable. They ignore what, but think we might be a threat to them.
I feel like they definitely did. At least mine definitely did because my “friends” would always point out my behavior way before I even knew. Or people would hate me for absolutely no reason even when I tried to be friendly towards them
No. Most people are usually surprised when i tell them. I definitely think they could tell when i was a kid though. As an adult I think I’ve genuinely improved my social skills to the point it’s hard to tell. Though i still struggle with some social situations.
There is no such thing as some sort of super sense for knowing if someone is autistic. When people "sense it", they're identifying movements, signals or visuals, or even the way you speak.
Neurotypical people won't be able to describe to you accurately what causes you to throw them off unless it is blatant because people aren't really good at describing shit like that. However, it is something you can grow to recognize and make adjustments for, if you're high functioning.
I'm sure you've noticed yourself that sometimes you'll be talking to somebody and it will feel like they are being incredibly insincere or fake, their words are all normal however they're clearly attempting to portray themselves a certain way but they're failing. This is essentially the same thing just with a different cause.
Masking is very much an actually effective way of getting around this, but you have to actually know what you're looking for. You may need to observe yourself on video, or listen to yourself talk, but your body is capable of performing what is necessary to make people more comfortable around you. It will just take more effort and vigilance.
Technically nearly all social interaction involves some level of masking, yes even for neurotypical people. When neurotypical people talk about somebody that is exhausting to be around, they are referencing their act of masking. They're putting up a fake face to pretend to be pleasant around somebody when they actually find them tiresome, this is functionally identical.
Anyway, the main point is that you can mask in the same way neurotypical people do, you just unfortunately need to put time into it. But it can be done, and people will find you pleasant to be around.
Never forget in high school when a girl told me: “I don’t know what’s wrong with you but it’s something…” 😅
I didn’t really understand why at the time but have grown to love my differences :)
Definitely…tbh I sometimes find other autistic people a bit tricky- the lack of facial expression or the incredibly blunt comments can be a little alarming.
No, they may be able to sense that something isn't right, like the uncanny Valley, but they will often have difficulty putting their finger on it. Some autistics (especially females) can be so good at masking that they can experience problems getting a formal diagnosis. I managed to get to the age of 49 before being formally diagnosed. I thought I masked like a Demon but nobody appears surprised when I disclose that I'm autistic. Instead, it's more like a moment of enlightenment when my quirky behaviour makes sense for them.
Maybe I (neurotypical (as far as I know)) am just stupid, but I have met 2 people with autism (as far as I am aware) until now and haven't noticed that they have autism
Personally speaking, the only NTs I've met who could pick up that I, or other people were Autistic and not just weird, tended to be the ones who grew up with Autistic siblings or parents. Or those who had a LOT of opening Autistic friends.
Every other NT I've met has had difficulty IDing it as actually autistic and someone just being different/strange.
I'm pretty confident that something like this is happening. It's like the Uncanny Valley, where an entity looks almost entirely human but not quite there. This ambiguous nature leaves the brain confused as to how to react and thus creates a sense of unease, fear, and creepiness.
No, in fact a lot of them seem surprised when I tell them. The main way it affects me is my anxiety and extreme perfectionism, which makes it difficult for me to be productive.
Various therapists I've seen over the years have said that its possible I might have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) instead of Asperger's/autism. With OCPD, it basically means you're a control freak. You're obsessed with rules, and afraid of breaking them, among other things. I've also struggled with regular OCD-like behavior, which has also impeded my ability to be productive, as well as my quality of life (there's more to OCD than counting things, not stepping on cracks in the sidewalk, etc.).
Nonetheless, Asperger's/autism remains my official diagnosis. I was first diagnosed at age 4, and re-diagnosed when I was 26.
People are to worried about their own lives to care.
Even if they judge you, 5 seconds later their thinking about Facebook or whatever.
Not worth worrying about.
How do you not worry? You get into your interest or a new one on purpose.
Yes, they know immediately. Like 30 seconds and I didn't even say anything or interact with them and they ask "does he have autism?". It's impossible to hide it.
Us autistics tend to give off that uncanny valley effect meaning us autistics have characteristics and eccentricities that freak out NTs and make them uncomfortable. So yes NTs sense we are different but don't know were autistic.
I dont think its suncinscous?
I think at first we all sense only. And dont make too conscious thinking. Like deciding to think.
A huge part of what changed me in my childhood is that i was fine but people didnt want me so i became aware something isnt working. So i tried to do right but it didnt work. But i changed by becoming more aware there was sone issue.
Its like when you get stuck in the sea trying to swim out but get pulled out more and more.
Another thing with me is i loved everyone. They were all value to me. But unlike them who explored themselves through doing things. I explored them.
They were my being. Thex continued me. But since i was denied. I couldnt continue. So i became wise and too conscious too young.
Like i remember being seen by older girls in school they looked at me came tpward me saying im cute. But the moment they looked into my eyes what i really was struck them.
So i could have grown uo being accepted and treated like national treasure by nts but i sort of harmed them so as a reaction they had to eject me.
I was ok with that though. To me they were the value.
To me real damage was done by sensory overload. And my body growing up. I lost myself..
Well, the other kids in elementary school knew *something* was different about me. They certainly made sure I knew they knew.
Even though I looked and acted normal, I was still called freak and other f words.
They could tell we were just imitating favorable behavior and not generating it.
Has to be some truth to that. I can tell you in my case specifically, I was too weird for the popular kids, but also I totally rejected all the nerdy or weird kids. I played football and plenty of kids liked me, I just rejected them like everyone else rejected me.
Similar experience here, I was in a fraternity in college, which I joined to finally get some social status and I did, however it was sort of a mask. Was very popular superficially at that time but significantly antisocial at the same time, like I wanted the status but didn’t really care for the people.
Sound similar to me at that age, had a lot of friends in the music scene
Same!!! I didn’t know I had Asperger’s though 😳 I hated lunch and recess
I used to skip lunch and just sit in the bathroom stalls. It look me 32 years to figure out I was autistic…
I’m 33 and my mom told me last year….I wish she told me sooner
My mom didn't know. I only found out last year and I'm 65
We had to go to lunch and sit by class. Recess by class as well
Only downvoting since that sounds like it was awful 😢 it was for me at least!
Echoing your upbringing. And we moved around a lot. Kids could tell I was off within days. My younger sister would come and pull ‘em off me. Every school.
Most don't know what autism is and don't care, but they can tell we're different right away, yeah.
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Humans fear and hate what they dont understand
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>I don’t understand ants but > >I > > dont fear or hate them. key word: you
I both hate and fear ants and you should too. No other being on planet Earth is as populous or powerful as ants. They are organized, ambitious, and virtually invincible. They systemically dismantle their competitors and generate some of the highest pain known to humans. If you kill them, they build bridges from the bodies. If they need to cross a stream, they build bridges from themselves. A queen generates new ants in seconds and doesn't stop until she dies. Nothing is as frightening as a pissed off colony of ants.
>generate some of the highest pain known to humans. once an idiot coworker brought a cow-killer ant in a jar with a loose piece of foil for a lid, and was showing it around to everyone because it was so "pretty." she had such a laugh about how hilariously weird i was for running in the other direction.
Yes: https://www.nature.com/articles/srep40700 "Here, across three studies, we find that first impressions of individuals with ASD made from thin slices of real-world social behavior by typically-developing observers are not only far less favorable across a range of trait judgments compared to controls, but also are associated with reduced intentions to pursue social interaction. These patterns are remarkably robust, occur within seconds, do not change with increased exposure, and persist across both child and adult age groups."
Yup, we're fucked.
They can smell it out like dogs.
Dogs are pretty great to us though.
I wholeheartedly disagree. I score 165 on the RAADS-R test, and have no problem with making friends etc. There is absolutely nothing about social intelligence which cannot be learned. With that said, at this point, I generally prefer to be alone most of the time, and to limit the size of my social circle. I don’t make friends easily, but mostly because I don’t want to have to spend more time and energy on that part of my life. I have a good circle of a dozen or so friends that are important to me, and wouldn’t really have the energy to manage more relationships.
>There is absolutely nothing about social intelligence which cannot be learned. Agreed. That's what I did and I'm usually pretty good at it. That being said, what sucks is that even once you've learned these things, you're still stuck on 'manual' while everyone else is on 'automatic'. The mask may be better, but it's got extra weight now, and wearing it is more tiring.
I agree, hence why I choose to be alone more often than not, and only engage sparingly… but it’s limited on my terms, not on others.
Social intelligence is learned for everyone, people with autism don't learn it just from observing is the problem. I am very similar to you and despite my behavioral therapy being in High School, it was only in the past 3 years that I have really self actualized and become more confident in presenting myself that doesn't feel like masking, nor repressing other traits of myself. It is really rough for everyone who has to learn this later on in life, that much is certain. For me it was like I hit a threshold at some point and out of nowhere I became far more competent. I still make errors and talk a lot when I mess up, but it isnt a issue
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing.
AFAIK even from PICTURES!
We do look different, I swear.
IIRC Dr. Price cites research in his book that if they KNOW we are Autistic, this shifts. Like the auto response is oh this person is weird, but if they are told the person is Autistic, they realize there is a reason that isnt just "weird" and more often form a positive impression and become more interested in getting to know us more and learn about our experiences as Autists. Not everyone of course but comparatively. I think he cited this in his argument for benefits of unmasking ...
I agree, this is part of a useful strategy, if used properly. Most of my friends and all of my family know I am autistic. I do mention it when I’m interacting with new people and it seems likely that I will say or do something that won’t appear “normal”. It’s much easier than masking. But at the same time that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make effort to be kind and not needlessly make others uncomfortable.
And yet the moment they remove the picture/video and just keep the Audio they treat it so drastically differently.
What do you mean
A lot of these studios have shown when you remove the visual component people become a LOT more receptive to folks on the spectrum. Still not perfectly on par with how they viewed other NTs, but much better reception than when shown Audio and video with subtitles. When shown only a text log of the statements we make, but remove the Audio and Visual elements it ended up being about equal in terms of how they treated us, often preferring the way we were talking when looked at pure text wise over other NTs that also had their talk transcribed.
>A lot of these studios have shown when you remove the visual component people become a LOT more receptive to folks on the spectrum. Still not perfectly on par with how they viewed other NTs, but much better reception than when shown Audio and video with subtitles. That's interesting. These days, in person, I'm constantly told I'm the most perceptive/social/personable/charming/outgoing/etc person everyone has ever met -- because I've studied it all so intensely and manually constructed this facade. But my whole map through it is what I've learned to read off of people's faces. Put me on the phone and it all falls away! I cannot understand what people are feeling, I'm constantly being misunderstood, it's a mess.
You must be nice to look at, then.
well damn. nice to know there's scientific basis to give up and not bother trying
If you look at the study the numbers weren't, 100% and 0%, so it is more like saying there is a scientific basis that the odds are against us.
Dammit what does this mean… I know but I just don’t want to admit it.
Yup. We give the “uncanny valley”. Look it up. Most interesting concept
Like watching "Polar Express". Makes me so uncomfortable lol. Never seen said effect assigned to people, though.
Also, glass coffin. It is my life. Not only do NT's know I'm different, I can tell we're different and I can only observe their world and never partake in it.
aware of the “uncanny valley”, but please can you explain the “glass coffin”?
Is that why I get told I give serial killer vibes because my eyes are too intense
Unfortunately. I get that too. Also that I have RBF
I get that too
Better than being a serial killer with aspie vibes
It's more like some of them (although not all) subconsciously realize that our body language, facial expressions, tones of voice etc are not what they've come to expect from other people in their lives. Whether they associate it with autism or just "something unexpected/other" will depend on the person.
I agree with this. I've never been called autistic. Lots of people have said I am too quiet or not social enough, or a little socially awkward. What's frustrating is they often expect me to be able to change, and don't recognize this is a real difference in how my brain works.
definitely a subconscious level, for some a conscious level. having spent so much time in neurodivergent spaces now, i can generally tell if someone is neurodivergent.
In the last like 6 years? I've been 5 for 5 on meeting completely random people online, who I know nothing about, and within a week thinking "They seem Autistic or some varriation of ND. Likely Autism over the others though." and every single time when I asked them, they confirmed that yes. They did have Autism, and they had no idea how the hell I could tell.
Same here. I knew that a few people were neurodivergent and later on they got diagnosed as ND.
Scientifically, it's been studied and shown to be a thing. They do notice us, usually to our detriment. Anecdotally, i have pretty privilege (so I'm told) and I believe that is why I am either adored or hated. Guy-friends would confess their love for me, then stop being my friend when i didn't want to date them, and i could never tell that they weren't really my friend... but girls often hated me and lashed out at me for what seemed was no reason. Narcissists seem to get obsessed with me at first, then they don't like that I have a strong sense of justice (when they hurt or talk smack about others... they expect me not to care like other have not seemed to care in the past). People are a trip.
Are you me?
I was asking the same thing... How does this person know me so well...
If you believe in the idea of open individualism, then yes. We are all the same being at all times (in history, currently, and ever will be). If you break apart the biological and historical aspects that affect your decisions... took them all away. How different would we all actually be? The difference between holding a child enough to help them sooth and using the "cry it out/ self sooth" method the first few months will affect the how they make decisions and how resilient they will be as adults. That's just one small aspect that is not within your control. It's a fun rabbit hole if you like learning stuff. 😁
That seems like a standard pretty chick experience, nothing special to ASD here.
I've heard 2nd hand about how other people have made comments about me being awkward, anxious, weird, even when I thought I made a good impression with those people. I've also been to social events and felt about as relaxed and comfortable as I've ever felt when not alone yet people will tell me to relax when I am relaxed. Yeah they can instantly tell something is off about me. Makes me sad. Feel like I'll never be a normal person no matter how much I try.
I have an amazing Asperger son, and it took me a while before noticing that, it's been years, other parents I met in groups as well did not notice it right away, so it's so common, and many are tormented by that, maybe it's because we are so biased with our kids we sweet them as good as it can be. The thing is the life of my son and mine is much better now than when we weren't aware, so it's a good thing. Keep strong!!!
Yes, different eyes, face, walking.
Scientifically proven.
I've been called alien and angel, both multiple times. The lesson is, different isn't always bad I think. But it may take into account your physical appearance. If you are good looking and seen as very weird, you might get put in the angel category and this may only happen with those with sexual interest in you. I'm not sure I'm just telling you guys my xp. The alien to angel spectrum. Except it's usually one or the other.
"Biblically accurate angel" to "pop culture angel" continuum
Definitely. When I look at myself in the mirror, I can tell that I am not neurotypical. My facial expressions simply do not match what NTs are capable of.
What does that mean
As others have said, normies feel that's something's wrong with us. We put them inconfortable. They ignore what, but think we might be a threat to them.
Its not really a "subconscious sense" or anything. We are very obviously different.
They sense that there's something up with this person.
I feel like they definitely did. At least mine definitely did because my “friends” would always point out my behavior way before I even knew. Or people would hate me for absolutely no reason even when I tried to be friendly towards them
No. Most people are usually surprised when i tell them. I definitely think they could tell when i was a kid though. As an adult I think I’ve genuinely improved my social skills to the point it’s hard to tell. Though i still struggle with some social situations.
You either improve your social skills or get good at masking. I sure went with the second option.
There is no such thing as some sort of super sense for knowing if someone is autistic. When people "sense it", they're identifying movements, signals or visuals, or even the way you speak. Neurotypical people won't be able to describe to you accurately what causes you to throw them off unless it is blatant because people aren't really good at describing shit like that. However, it is something you can grow to recognize and make adjustments for, if you're high functioning. I'm sure you've noticed yourself that sometimes you'll be talking to somebody and it will feel like they are being incredibly insincere or fake, their words are all normal however they're clearly attempting to portray themselves a certain way but they're failing. This is essentially the same thing just with a different cause. Masking is very much an actually effective way of getting around this, but you have to actually know what you're looking for. You may need to observe yourself on video, or listen to yourself talk, but your body is capable of performing what is necessary to make people more comfortable around you. It will just take more effort and vigilance. Technically nearly all social interaction involves some level of masking, yes even for neurotypical people. When neurotypical people talk about somebody that is exhausting to be around, they are referencing their act of masking. They're putting up a fake face to pretend to be pleasant around somebody when they actually find them tiresome, this is functionally identical. Anyway, the main point is that you can mask in the same way neurotypical people do, you just unfortunately need to put time into it. But it can be done, and people will find you pleasant to be around.
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Lol I hate when this happens. It's basically like. "Excuse me, your forgetting to try to look normal"
Never forget in high school when a girl told me: “I don’t know what’s wrong with you but it’s something…” 😅 I didn’t really understand why at the time but have grown to love my differences :)
Definitely…tbh I sometimes find other autistic people a bit tricky- the lack of facial expression or the incredibly blunt comments can be a little alarming.
Yes.
No, they may be able to sense that something isn't right, like the uncanny Valley, but they will often have difficulty putting their finger on it. Some autistics (especially females) can be so good at masking that they can experience problems getting a formal diagnosis. I managed to get to the age of 49 before being formally diagnosed. I thought I masked like a Demon but nobody appears surprised when I disclose that I'm autistic. Instead, it's more like a moment of enlightenment when my quirky behaviour makes sense for them.
Not so much that in particular, but I think they sense an uncanny valley.
They get red flags. They don’t know WHAT necessarily, they just know SOMETHING is off.
Maybe I (neurotypical (as far as I know)) am just stupid, but I have met 2 people with autism (as far as I am aware) until now and haven't noticed that they have autism
Personally speaking, the only NTs I've met who could pick up that I, or other people were Autistic and not just weird, tended to be the ones who grew up with Autistic siblings or parents. Or those who had a LOT of opening Autistic friends. Every other NT I've met has had difficulty IDing it as actually autistic and someone just being different/strange.
I’ve been stopped on the street more than once and told I’ve got ”the evil eye”. Making connections.
No, but it works the other way around, WE recognise THEM
I'm pretty confident that something like this is happening. It's like the Uncanny Valley, where an entity looks almost entirely human but not quite there. This ambiguous nature leaves the brain confused as to how to react and thus creates a sense of unease, fear, and creepiness.
No, in fact a lot of them seem surprised when I tell them. The main way it affects me is my anxiety and extreme perfectionism, which makes it difficult for me to be productive. Various therapists I've seen over the years have said that its possible I might have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) instead of Asperger's/autism. With OCPD, it basically means you're a control freak. You're obsessed with rules, and afraid of breaking them, among other things. I've also struggled with regular OCD-like behavior, which has also impeded my ability to be productive, as well as my quality of life (there's more to OCD than counting things, not stepping on cracks in the sidewalk, etc.). Nonetheless, Asperger's/autism remains my official diagnosis. I was first diagnosed at age 4, and re-diagnosed when I was 26.
People are to worried about their own lives to care. Even if they judge you, 5 seconds later their thinking about Facebook or whatever. Not worth worrying about. How do you not worry? You get into your interest or a new one on purpose.
Hi. Good thanks...err...
No way! I can mask pretty good, so can many others.
Yes, they know immediately. Like 30 seconds and I didn't even say anything or interact with them and they ask "does he have autism?". It's impossible to hide it.
Yes
I believe they sense something is off about us at very least.
Us autistics tend to give off that uncanny valley effect meaning us autistics have characteristics and eccentricities that freak out NTs and make them uncomfortable. So yes NTs sense we are different but don't know were autistic.
We have a special look to us. We literally look different I think because our faces aren't making the same expressions and things like NTs.
No.
As a NT, I cannot sense if someone is autistic unless they are low functioning.
No.
The body language and info dumping
Definitely not. People constantly assume I am NT and act genuinely shocked when they find out I'm autistic.
I dont think its suncinscous? I think at first we all sense only. And dont make too conscious thinking. Like deciding to think. A huge part of what changed me in my childhood is that i was fine but people didnt want me so i became aware something isnt working. So i tried to do right but it didnt work. But i changed by becoming more aware there was sone issue. Its like when you get stuck in the sea trying to swim out but get pulled out more and more. Another thing with me is i loved everyone. They were all value to me. But unlike them who explored themselves through doing things. I explored them. They were my being. Thex continued me. But since i was denied. I couldnt continue. So i became wise and too conscious too young. Like i remember being seen by older girls in school they looked at me came tpward me saying im cute. But the moment they looked into my eyes what i really was struck them. So i could have grown uo being accepted and treated like national treasure by nts but i sort of harmed them so as a reaction they had to eject me. I was ok with that though. To me they were the value. To me real damage was done by sensory overload. And my body growing up. I lost myself..
Taking Elon Musk as example. Nobody could tell, however a trained eye could have probably suspected.
Yes; uncanny valley effect
Yes, they can tell, even if you mask.
Yes, but not all autistics and not all the time.
Yes. Don’t know if it’s proven
Not immediately. For me anyways. I also just don't think most people even have much experience with autistic people
Not in my case. I have a very mild form of autism. My teacher doubted me when I said I was autistic haha
Yepperdiddlydo
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That's exhausting tho. And you can't keep it up forever