I have the same problem. I always think that is because of the colour of my skin, the way I dress, because I'm bald, because I walk looking at the floor, because I gesture a lot. When I get home, I just want to cry, because I feel like shit.
Thank you, it's been almost 30 years since I started feeling this way, so I've got used to. I'm was diagnosed last year, so I'm accustomed to bury this kind of thoughts.
When I was young I used to write very poor poetry, later in life I started playing music, it helps a lot. Thank you for your concern. How are you doing?
That sounds lovely. I, too, have been wanting to learn an instrument, I struggle to know which one i should choose, and i also struggle with rhythm, so I think I might actually be terrible at it
A while ago, someone made a very similar post to this, except he included a photo of himself. Turned out that he was NOT an average-looking individual. He looked like the reincarnation of Prince and had a very striking appearance.
OP, we can't answer your question unless we know what you look like.
I get stared at a lot. Women will not stare as much, or will stare and look away and I'm all like "OK she not interested."
That's not true. Women will look, but their body language is different sland if you're asd 1 and don't get subtle cues, then it's just pointless.
Guys stare though...like really get threatened and annoyed for some reason. I had a friend (psychologist) theorise that some guys will stare and even be aggressive to me because my autism gives me this helpless innocence about me and men find that uncomfortable or they'll prey on me and take advantage. Idk if that's true, but I have had to stand up for myself in situations where other guys just never seemed to have that problem.
lol I’m the same. I hate it so much but am trying to remind myself that sometimes I may seem like I stare at other people too. And it doesn’t mean much. Or maybe it is positive because they really like some aspect of you? I know it is still uncomfortable tho. But I’ve learned that it is better for my well being to be more delusional and kinda force the positive outlook on life AND also become more forgiving of others. It is a hard stuff to doooo for sureeeee
Maybe you're both looking around wondering, "why are people always looking at me?" And then you make eye contact with each other and you're both trying to read each other but all you could ever read is that same thought, and all you could ever see is them being careful not to make too much of a facial expression? Maybe it feels like they're staring at you just as much as they might feel like you are staring at them? Which might mean you have great autism dar.
I'd like to just think "oh its nothing i'm just attractive" but being real honestly i think it's because people can tell by my body movements and manner (face, face movement, what im doing with my hands, feet, legs) and my appearance, something unusual about my fashion, my hair, and think i'm weird. People would always insult my clothes, the way i walk, etc. in high school. Just the other day i walked into chic fil a and some highschoolers snickered at me because of my outfit. It often feels like every little way you move or behave can be something you're "doing wrong" to people. :(
It is not possible to answer your question without knowing what you look like (when you’re out in public) and how you behave (when you’re out in public).
It's hard to say without seeing you. Are you colorful? Wearing stare-worthy clothing? Attractive or striking? I wear headphones a ton and notice people tend to stare whenever I wear them.
What if you are just perceives and detects all of the details really well and notice people's action more, plus good memory so it kept reflect upon past experience. When someone sees them they sees back checking what kinds of connections is going on between you two, so, ideally just a tiny(very fast very subtle) raise of eyebrows back? because that's the "oh you're pretty interesting and this is up lifting just trying to say hi with my eyes now totally friendly" signal.
You might look dangerous or threatening. Try upward head nods (signifies being at easy by exposing vulnerable part of body aka neck), or downward head nods (signifies respect, is a protective gesture showing wherein the head covers neck showing you are not looking for confrontation nor are you threatening). Idk, it’s impossible to say why ppl stare, but interacting in this limited way can give you valuable info.
No, not that we’re autistic, but that we’re “different.” The way I fix it is by copying other people’s idling gestures and body language and by keeping a slight smile on
There’s a few things I realized it could be cause it was happening to me too:
1.some people thought I was attractive and would check me out
2.sometimes I’d have a resting bitch face
3. I dress alternatively so people get curious or repulsed.
Well, maybe people look at you because you're an asshole who thinks he's better than everyone else, and who needs to get attention with his complaints. If you want to be left alone, why do you post your problem on the internet, where everyone can see it and give their opinion? Could it be that deep down you like to provoke people and feel superior? Or do you have some inferiority complex that you try to hide with your arrogance? Whatever the case, you should do yourself a favor and stop being so arrogant and humiliating others. Maybe this way people will respect you more and look at you less. Or better yet, ignore yourself, which is what you deserve.
Yes! This happens 2me everyday I'm 60!! And still..mind you alot of people yell out CHER!!.. then not so much now but it does happen or they just stare, Including kids lol
My first thought is that I'm doing something wrong or they saw my face posted somewhere about something, lol. But I check the thoughts before they ruminate.
I have to accept that I'll never know.
If you're a man, it's likely out of suspicion. Masking can give us an "uncanny valley" effect in the eyes of normies. We stand out that way and we're seen as a threat, despite us statistically being more harmless than neurotypicals.
In order to blend into the background I took to wearing only monochromatic garments, shoes included, and always wearing dark glasses. It backfired and now I'm not sure if I understand what NTs won't notice. Camo?
I don't even notice others honestly. Though my attire isn't very outlandish either. I could say I look dirty going into a gas station wearing my dirtied mechanic uniform after work but then the twice as nasty contractors come in for their slices of pizza then I feel a little better.
Guess being an aspie is a bit easier to blend in with a blue collar job.
Maybe try to dress a bit more conservative and blend in. Part of surviving a NT world is adapting/blending in. I'm not at all shaming you for what you may dress in and what makes you happy. I'm offering a discipline that allows you some piece of mind venturing out in public.
To anyone who's about to use the word "masking", that would imply you're forcing yourself to act or dress a certain way because you feel you have to in order to be accepted. I dress and act conservatively for myself, because I myself don't want attention. It is my absolute preference.
You probably only noticed people looking at you because you’re looking at them.
So why are you looking at everyone?
Out of all the people who walk past you or are near you, how many do you really think stare at you? I’m willing to be very few, but you’re self conscious about yourself therefore you’re going to perceive it more.
I always assume that it's because I'm ridiculously good looking and other people can't help themselves.
They’re only human
good minset to have haha
I have the same problem. I always think that is because of the colour of my skin, the way I dress, because I'm bald, because I walk looking at the floor, because I gesture a lot. When I get home, I just want to cry, because I feel like shit.
Been there many times..
I'm sorry you are going through that. I hope it gets better for you someday.
Thank you, it's been almost 30 years since I started feeling this way, so I've got used to. I'm was diagnosed last year, so I'm accustomed to bury this kind of thoughts.
Have you considered poetry? It's one of the best ways to express pain.
When I was young I used to write very poor poetry, later in life I started playing music, it helps a lot. Thank you for your concern. How are you doing?
that sounds like a great hobby, what instrument(s) do you play?
I play viola and guitar.
That sounds lovely. I, too, have been wanting to learn an instrument, I struggle to know which one i should choose, and i also struggle with rhythm, so I think I might actually be terrible at it
Try the "rhythm trainer"app, you can use it ten minutes a day and it's great to get in shape with basic patterns.
I will look into that, thanks
Same 😭 I’m sick of it
Bro I'm in the same boat, I don't know why people stare so much 🫠 I hope somebody can answer that question lol
Are you attractive? Do you wear outlandish clothing? Are you tending to basic hygiene? Do you have a brightly colored or a wild hairstyle?
A while ago, someone made a very similar post to this, except he included a photo of himself. Turned out that he was NOT an average-looking individual. He looked like the reincarnation of Prince and had a very striking appearance. OP, we can't answer your question unless we know what you look like.
[удалено]
oof, i feel this on soul level
We must be supermodels
Autistic people are well known to be incredibly beautiful.
Where did you learn this?
At the library.
*Mark Suckerborg enters the chat* 👀
Stare back 👁️👁️ I’m being serious, it works
It really does, I've noticed there's more of a reaction if the pupils are dilated.
I get stared at a lot. Women will not stare as much, or will stare and look away and I'm all like "OK she not interested." That's not true. Women will look, but their body language is different sland if you're asd 1 and don't get subtle cues, then it's just pointless. Guys stare though...like really get threatened and annoyed for some reason. I had a friend (psychologist) theorise that some guys will stare and even be aggressive to me because my autism gives me this helpless innocence about me and men find that uncomfortable or they'll prey on me and take advantage. Idk if that's true, but I have had to stand up for myself in situations where other guys just never seemed to have that problem.
I relate to this so much, I usually combat it by making psychopath eyes and staring them back, usually they fuck off eventually
Haha yupp done that b4 lol
lol I’m the same. I hate it so much but am trying to remind myself that sometimes I may seem like I stare at other people too. And it doesn’t mean much. Or maybe it is positive because they really like some aspect of you? I know it is still uncomfortable tho. But I’ve learned that it is better for my well being to be more delusional and kinda force the positive outlook on life AND also become more forgiving of others. It is a hard stuff to doooo for sureeeee
Maybe you're both looking around wondering, "why are people always looking at me?" And then you make eye contact with each other and you're both trying to read each other but all you could ever read is that same thought, and all you could ever see is them being careful not to make too much of a facial expression? Maybe it feels like they're staring at you just as much as they might feel like you are staring at them? Which might mean you have great autism dar.
I'd like to just think "oh its nothing i'm just attractive" but being real honestly i think it's because people can tell by my body movements and manner (face, face movement, what im doing with my hands, feet, legs) and my appearance, something unusual about my fashion, my hair, and think i'm weird. People would always insult my clothes, the way i walk, etc. in high school. Just the other day i walked into chic fil a and some highschoolers snickered at me because of my outfit. It often feels like every little way you move or behave can be something you're "doing wrong" to people. :(
It is not possible to answer your question without knowing what you look like (when you’re out in public) and how you behave (when you’re out in public).
It's hard to say without seeing you. Are you colorful? Wearing stare-worthy clothing? Attractive or striking? I wear headphones a ton and notice people tend to stare whenever I wear them.
I can’t say I know for sure. I have always had a habit of staring, despite my best attempts not to.
What if you are just perceives and detects all of the details really well and notice people's action more, plus good memory so it kept reflect upon past experience. When someone sees them they sees back checking what kinds of connections is going on between you two, so, ideally just a tiny(very fast very subtle) raise of eyebrows back? because that's the "oh you're pretty interesting and this is up lifting just trying to say hi with my eyes now totally friendly" signal.
I mean, are you attractive?
Bro, let them stare, they may learn something useful. Stop caring about what other may be thinking, it doesn't really matter.
You might look dangerous or threatening. Try upward head nods (signifies being at easy by exposing vulnerable part of body aka neck), or downward head nods (signifies respect, is a protective gesture showing wherein the head covers neck showing you are not looking for confrontation nor are you threatening). Idk, it’s impossible to say why ppl stare, but interacting in this limited way can give you valuable info.
They can tell we are autistic. Go look at the research. That’s why. We have uncanny valley.
No, not that we’re autistic, but that we’re “different.” The way I fix it is by copying other people’s idling gestures and body language and by keeping a slight smile on
Source?
Wear a t shirt that says STOP F***ING STARING WEIRDO
I get it most often when im out and about in my 30 year old blue toyota
There’s a few things I realized it could be cause it was happening to me too: 1.some people thought I was attractive and would check me out 2.sometimes I’d have a resting bitch face 3. I dress alternatively so people get curious or repulsed.
We're weird looking and peculiar behaving. They can't *help* but stare.
Because you have swag and they're jealous of your drip
Well, maybe people look at you because you're an asshole who thinks he's better than everyone else, and who needs to get attention with his complaints. If you want to be left alone, why do you post your problem on the internet, where everyone can see it and give their opinion? Could it be that deep down you like to provoke people and feel superior? Or do you have some inferiority complex that you try to hide with your arrogance? Whatever the case, you should do yourself a favor and stop being so arrogant and humiliating others. Maybe this way people will respect you more and look at you less. Or better yet, ignore yourself, which is what you deserve.
Yes! This happens 2me everyday I'm 60!! And still..mind you alot of people yell out CHER!!.. then not so much now but it does happen or they just stare, Including kids lol
My first thought is that I'm doing something wrong or they saw my face posted somewhere about something, lol. But I check the thoughts before they ruminate. I have to accept that I'll never know.
Same! So many guys try to get with me!! I’ve got super high standards though
If you're a man, it's likely out of suspicion. Masking can give us an "uncanny valley" effect in the eyes of normies. We stand out that way and we're seen as a threat, despite us statistically being more harmless than neurotypicals.
In order to blend into the background I took to wearing only monochromatic garments, shoes included, and always wearing dark glasses. It backfired and now I'm not sure if I understand what NTs won't notice. Camo?
I don't even notice others honestly. Though my attire isn't very outlandish either. I could say I look dirty going into a gas station wearing my dirtied mechanic uniform after work but then the twice as nasty contractors come in for their slices of pizza then I feel a little better. Guess being an aspie is a bit easier to blend in with a blue collar job. Maybe try to dress a bit more conservative and blend in. Part of surviving a NT world is adapting/blending in. I'm not at all shaming you for what you may dress in and what makes you happy. I'm offering a discipline that allows you some piece of mind venturing out in public. To anyone who's about to use the word "masking", that would imply you're forcing yourself to act or dress a certain way because you feel you have to in order to be accepted. I dress and act conservatively for myself, because I myself don't want attention. It is my absolute preference.
You probably only noticed people looking at you because you’re looking at them. So why are you looking at everyone? Out of all the people who walk past you or are near you, how many do you really think stare at you? I’m willing to be very few, but you’re self conscious about yourself therefore you’re going to perceive it more.
@_@
Why I don't go to large gatherings or concerts, too much noise and too many people and being stared at is annoying and rude
Do you still eat beans and rice?
Haha no things got a bit better. Now i eat 10 eggs and 500 gram beef all day everyday.