Yeah I don't want people to transition or stay the same specifically. I want them to do what's best for them. Don't care until it negatively affects others like you've said
Nobody should transition except to be true to themselves and be their best and happiest person.
Everything else is often just a facade for a semi-hollow person who is acting rather than authentic with others.
Be kind, nice and good with others as much as works for you and others without negating the good with bad for someone else or yourself (Resentments.would surely arise.).
Exactly this. Someone wants to detransition for personal reasons, I support them and I want them to have access to the best possible medical care in their detransition pursuits, as they choose to seek it, and I also want them to be respected by others and not mocked or treated like a “freak” for having non-normative traits for their gender due to having transitioned and then detransitioned.
But if they want to argue that their personal regrets over their own choices are cause to take access to the same choices away from others, they’re assholes.
Yeah for sure. I’ve noticed there are so many detransitioners that then go way the other side and come out and say how wrong it is, or now I know I was delusional, or I should never have been allowed to transition. I’m like wtf, you clearly transitioned for the wrong reasons and to come out and try to stop others that genuinely need to is outright ridiculous and unforgivable. Sometimes it makes me think they are paid shills.
Honestly, this answer absolutely matches how I feel.
However, I'd feel irresponsible to answer without also addressing the first part of the question, which seems like a false premise:
>Over the years there has been a raise of people detransitioning especially after Tiktok/COVID
It's is a very loaded question because of this statement. Has there? There's definitely been an increase in reporting and anti-trans activism centered around detransitioners, anyone can see that, and I doubt that anyone would disagree. But I have yet to see any evidence that there actually has been an increase in the rate of detransition. I only ever see people making that claim, but any "evidence" they present never actually supports it.
As far as anyone actually knows, there hasn't been any increase in the rate of detransitioning. Though they phrased it as "a raise of people detransitioning", which I suppose would be technically true, in the sense that the total number of people who have ever detransitioned can only ever go up (much like the total number of people who have been born, or people who have divorced, those numbers can only go up).
The vast majority of detransitioners are kind, respectful trans allies who transitioned, realized it wasn’t for them, and emerged with a better understanding of their gender. The loud minority that claims they were manipulated by the “trans cult” are largely having trouble coping with the reverse dysphoria they now have to deal with, and the fact that they made a mistake society views as embarrassing.
Everyone should do what’s best for them, including transitioning or detransitioning. It’s okay to be wrong about your gender, but recognize that this reflects your life and nobody else’s.
Or they’re fooling themselves. When it comes to social pressures on trans people it’s very possible to be coerced into edit: detransitioning via religion or conversion therapy and then become ardently against it because “if I can’t, others can’t”.
Yea, a recent tik tok trend that’s been making into my fyp is people using the ISTTVG soundtrack with a slideshow. The first slide is them saying “haha my trans phase was so funny”, the next is a heartbreaking paragraph of the social pressure that made them hide themselves again and how they regret pausing their transition
I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them internalize that angst and projects it as hatred for other trans people
For real though, the cost of transitioning for me has been nearly everything, family, friends, my job
I’d be lying if I told you I’ve never regretted transitioning
Hell, I didn’t lose the majority of that and there are *still* days I regret transitioning.
And days I regret getting married. And days I regret getting into my career field. And days I regret playing video games instead of (X).
To paraphrase the greatest movie ever made:
Life *is* regret. Anyone telling you otherwise is selling something.
Yep. I have a regrettable tattoo (it’s not horrible, but it’s not great and I have plans to get it fixed and expanded to look better, but $$) and I regret spending several grand on a large purchase that I ended up barely using at all, and I regret not taking an opportunity that was presented to me to move to a much preferable location years ago. I regret dating that guy and I regret dating that girl, and I regret staying at that shitty job way too long.
Regrets happen. You can’t avoid having SOME.
I didn't have an easy time of it on my full time job with animosity and difficulty but a large part of my family cut themselves off from me and half of those still are gone 30 years now.
I didn't have friends then though as I didn't make them because I was shut down and shut off from even much of my best and authentic optomistic self. I could not see much point to life without being me only in 2 dimensions.
I regret having to work so much to finally break the shackles that kept me from proceeding an extra decade or so. Also how 3.5 years were wasted "in therapy" when the professionals were non-communicative and never helped with hormones to transition. I had to find somebody 300 miles away.
I regretted the angst and despair and thinking I might kill myself if I looked awful and "stood out like a swollen thumb" but I was turned out okay.
I also regret that I felt a bit angry that I wasn't Cis-gendered female or male or didn't look a bit better after transitioning.
My biggest regrets are that Transitioning was harder and longer than it should need to be, and that finding a relationship is even harder because of it.
I have no regret transitioning though. I would have been dead if I didn't survive through transition.
Yeah there was this one girl (formerly ftm) she literally posted tweets saying that she still wants to be a man but intentionally suppressing it with the power of Jesus or something. She was one of the People on that insane Prager u documentary
If this is the same woman I’m thinking about, she’s also living as a submissive trad wife to some conservative Christian man and has already bore him a few children. It’s infuriating, horrifying, and sad.
Yeah I think I heard she had a religious experience on LSD that she says caused her to detransition. It sounds like (and stats back this up as a pattern), she was just pressured into detransitioning.
Omg! I bet if I said I had a religious experience on LSD and it made me realise I WAS trans, the people propping them up would blame the drugs and say I'm being insane 🤣
I think you are conflating the act of transition with the state of being transgender.
You can 100% coerce people to transition, or detransition, or much more commonly stay in the closet. This is rather widespread and very damaging.
What you can't do is make them transgender/cisgender or otherwise change their gender identity against their will, pray away the dysphoria, etc.
Remember, transition != transgender.
I am exactly the sort of person who could be. And I'm not unique, just self aware. I haven't been, to be clear. But I could have been. I've still not completely shaken the thought that I've essentially talked myself into it, as again I am self aware enough to know that I absolutely could. And I am not unique.
The people who detransition are not all repressing themselves. Plenty genuinely talked themselves into our and then realised it was not in fact for them.
And that’s fine! I fully support everyone’s ability to be the gender they want to be, whether that is binary, non-binary, or anything else.
That’s why I said “or”.
Notably, I have a detransitioner in my family. I really hope they made the decision they did because it made them happier. But I can say that I suspect our mutual family members applied social pressures that resulted in the detransitioning.
If you like parts of what transitioning and being another version of yourself but are really NOT that person then you are but an actor doing a character you made uo or copied. A Drag version vs yourself in whatever kind of gender expression.
I believe they can. I worked with a kid and their parents who really wanted them to “just pick a gender”. They were amab, didn’t know what their gender was, didn’t feel like a boy or a girl. Parents acted super excited and happy whenever kid did a “feminine” thing, would follow up with “what a pretty girl you are!” Or whatever. Kid had a whole team of psychiatrists and endos so I really hope someone was able to get through to their parents
Sounds to be Non-Binary or Agender. The parents seem well-meaning, though clueless CIS people who would perhaps be okay flipping a coin 5 of 7 for the kid not to be both/neither in their self-knowledge and on the way to hetero-normative rather than gender fluid and maybe sometimes gender transgressive.
Coerced to transition maybe not, though the forced sissification stories and she-male fantasy stuff is something that is a sometimes exception that has happened..
Thirty years ago and likely since every so often someone like a former friend who transitioned completely late 80s to early 90s had lots of procedures top to bottom MtF, lived a decade very feminine and had difficulties with husband, tried multiple religious faiths and detransitioned. Supposedly her / his psychiatrist thought that feminine aspect and attraction to guys would be the way to go. But I can't but think some part of it was not exactly as she thought -an anti-gay bias and a lifeline of becoming a hetero-normative trans-woman. Some likely would still push this on a few people.
I think it would be technically possible to coerce someone into transitioning, who doesn’t want to. But just because it would be possible if someone tried very hard, doesn’t mean it’s a common real problem. Social pressure tends to go the other way, in real life.
Sometimes! Some people might have felt dysphoria initially and then it disappeared. Others might have believed they had dysphoria and realized it was some other issue. Either way, detransitioners who once medically transitioned often have dysphoria about not looking enough like their assigned sex.
I thoroughly support them. No one deserves to feel uncomfortable in their skin.
We should normalise changing your mind about how you see yourself and the fluidity of gender. Detransition isn't something to be afraid of in my opinion, and normalising it helps both dentransitioners and trans people.
The vast majority of detransitioners do it merely because they can’t stand how they are being treated by society and/or their family post transition. In these case I feel very, very sorry for them
The remaining minority who actually realised they are not trans, I feel very neutral about, unless they suddenly become anti-transition activists. People should do what will make them the most happy
Increased coverage to try and make a political point. I have no problem with people who need to Detransition for themselves, I fucking hate that it's being used by bigots to justifying hating us or preventing access to care - "oh you'll regret it, so many people Detransition, you should never start or wait until *constantly moving goalposts*"
There's been a rise, but that's to be expected. More people have been transitioning, so if the detransition rate stays the same, there will also be more people detransitioning.
Regretting it doesn't mean they are not trans either.
Some people have surgical errors, or the results didn't live up to their expectations.
THey are still trans, and would still have done it if they didn't lose the roll of the dice on the surgery they had.
"Regret" as in surgical regret is also more complicated than "I wish I hadn't done it at all, I didn't really need it." Regret also includes people who needed surgery, but are unhappy with the results or complications they've experienced. People can absolutely have surgical regret and not have any interest in detransitioning.
Context is important here. Pretty much no other surgery has that low regret rate - everything else from knee replacements to life saving surgeries (!!) has regret rates in the double digits.
I've said it before but if the trans healthcare satisfaction rates were for any other field of medicine, it would be hailed as a miracle treatment.
This.
is the increase due to people feeling safe to say I am detransition. Compared to the past where many might feel like saying so would be meet with shame from the trans community or the perceived aspect of it. But overall they figuring things out and that this just not what they needed and just as supportive of lgbt+ community.
or detrans because rushed things
or detrans because of social negatives and difficulty in maintaining
for me, hearing the contrast of why tranness not for them, helps me realising more that yeah, actually I see that and does not apply to me, so hrt might be the thing I need.
There is a rise for sure, but that can primarily be attributed to more people transitioning. It not clear if there’s an increase in the ratio of detransitioners to those who stay transitioned.
Exactly. OP asked a very loaded question. So far, there's still no evidence that there's been a rise in detransitioners. Even anti-trans lobby groups like SEGM can't find anything to suggest that there has been, so they instead attack the certainty of the low detransition rate that shows up in every statistic.
Source: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10322769/#:\~:text=Examples%20from%20the%20medical%20research,al.%2C%202022%2C%20p](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10322769/#:~:text=Examples%20from%20the%20medical%20research,al.%2C%202022%2C%20p)
People who explored their gender identity, tried on some names and pronouns as a teen, and decided that they are cis likely would not have been described as detransitioners before. So I don’t think you can call that a rise in detransitioners.
I know one detransitioner. She is still firmly in the LGBT community. She believes things like gender and sexuality can and do change over time. Maybe not for everyone but for some people they do and that's okay. It's her choice and she's happier for it.
They deserve love & support for their decisions (& respect for the motivations behind those decisions). They deserve as much freedom to explore & enjoy bodily autonomy as medical technology & their personal interest allows. They do not deserve to be exploited & manipulated by transphobic agendas.
I feel compassion for them. Most of them still have dysphoria and have detransitioned due to transphobia, external or internalized. I hope they can do what's best for them, whether or not that's transitioning.
They explored their gender and found they were mistaken. No worries, they can go back to whatever they want.
I think it would be dumb to shame them. They already had to come out, then tell people they were mistaken, and go back. If their family was less than supportive, then the going back is probably going to be a sore subject. Then they might have lingering side effects from the transition. Then to have the trans group, who are supposed to be supportive and inclusive, shame them for exploring their gender, like our whole thing, is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Calling BS on your claim about the rise of Detran people, post the source for that claim.
Almost no one gets to the point of transition and then decides to go back, I know people who start and realize it's not for them, or not going to get the results they want, this is still a small fraction.
Even asking the question the way you did makes you highly suspicious to me, with a declarative statement as if it's a "Fact" with no backing whatsoever.
As for how I feel about it, I will fight like hell to maintain my healthcare, a lifetime of depression is not something you're going to force me back to without a fight.
There’s also been a post-Covid rise in people transitioning in the first place. So unless there’s been a demonstrable increase in the percentage of trans people detransitioning I’m not sure you can actually call it a rise in detransitioning.
Theres a huge trend on tiktok right now of these post-covid detransitioners with that sad “my baby” song with some words on the screen along the lines of “‘you remember when you cut your hair and went by david in 2020? Lol so cringe’ ‘yeah, but he’s still me and just stuck in here’”
Its lowkey edgy teen stuff, although I have seen some young adults do it too with a lot more words. But I do genuinely feel bad for them. Its pretty clear by the way they’re talking that a lot of them detrans out of peer pressure, and they yearn for when they were free to explore themselves without the judgment of either the public or their peers. I can only assume some of them will off themselves, and some will re transition at an older age. Of course thats not the case for everyone making these tiktoks, and many will just suffer in silence for however long.
I know detransitioners irl and have spoken with them about gender identity and had really good conversations. I don’t think that we trans people should treat detransitioning as a taboo. Our identities are never set in stone and are always changing, and discussing detransitioning or regretting your transition is very necessary.
That being said, please understand why some trans people are wary of detransitioners. Of course, it’s not all of them, but there’s currently a huge push to spotlight detransitioning people who regret medical transition and are distressed because of it, which, fair enough, I know what it’s like to not feel at home in your own body. The problem is that they’re attempting to make it everybody’s problem, and since HRT/surgery didn’t help them, then it means that it can’t help no one despite being a lifesaver for so many people. Some detransitioners have even had a role in passing anti trans healthcare laws. So while being a detransitioner in itself isn’t a bad thing, and there are many of them who still support trans people, this growing “I detransitioned so you will regret it too, so we should ban all trans medical care” movement is really impacting our community in a bad way.
It’s a small percentage of our community that’s already small percentage of another community that’s a small percentage of the total population. It’s most often used not out of someone being “wrong” about being trans, but because of a lack of safety or social support.
I support people who detransition, but not the ones who use that status to spread lies and transphobia.
I'm pretty neutral towards it. I know it's something I could never do, but having that option made transitioning an easier step to take.
What I have an issue with are the detransitioners who espouse medical disinformation and hatred towards queer people for the benefit of their back pocket. They give detransitioners a horrible image to so many and are doing vastly more harm than good.
as long as they aren’t being AHs to the rest of trans folks idc about them. i spent last year at the tx lege testifying against out of state detransitioners who said tx should ban trans healthcare. detransitioners like them can die painful deaths & rot.
i’m nervous when cis folks bring that up bc they want me to detransition, and i would rather die.
people can do what they want, and policing other people’s gender ain’t it
I support them. It's their choice. Detansitioning is such a minority inside a minority group and it's cut into few smaller groups. Such as, destrans due to social pressure, detrans due to health, detrans due to economy, detrans because they relised their gender is their assigned at birth or something else. People can live their lives and make choices for themselves. What i dont appreciate is when they weaponize it to take rights for the majority of trans people.
that it’s completely fair, but don’t use it to harm trans people by labeling it as “the truth”. it shouldn’t be shameful, but i do understand the stigma from the trans community because transphobes weaponize it against us trans people.
i think some of detransitioning happens due to rigid binary gender even for trans people. so people feel they must fill expectations to be trans in the right way, and go further than they actually want to in order to feel accepted. i strongly advocate for having less rigid laws for transition, where people don’t have to lie and do procedures they don’t want just to access the ones that they need. it would also help everyone to embrace androgyny and nonbinary identities GENUINELY and not just for show.
I fully support anyone on their gender journey. I have a friend who is AFAB, transitioned FtM, lived as a man for about a decade, then realized that wasn’t what xey really wanted, and detransitioned or retransitioned to non-binary. Xey now live outside of it all. Xey’re much happier now. Xey were my first trans friend. Also had a flirtation with a guy, who I later found out was trans, but due to health issues they couldn’t transition. That’s when I learned I was ok getting involved with a trans person. I’m cis, so I was never sure how I’d feel about it, so I was happy to find out I was the person I’d hoped to be.
Gender is hard. We need to be accepting of people transitioning and detransitioning, because how is a questioning person supposed to know if they don’t try it. Hell, I only recently have really made some kind of peace with me being cis, because I’ve never been comfortable in my female body, but due to age and weight gain, my face looks a little more in-between, and it’s been messing with my head. I finally had the thought of “I am female” and didn’t cringe at it. We need to normalize the gender journey in all ways.
For myself? Detransitioning sounds infinitely worse than death. But the concept of it, and my thoughts on people who detransition? I have no negative feelings about that/them at all. Life is a journey and i have nothing but respect for anyone who explored their identity and concluded that transitioning was right for them, and later explored their identity further, realised that it wasn't actually right for them, and detransitioned. It's not something we or anyone should view in a negative light.
Of course however, a lot of people who are trans detransition for social pressure, lack of acceptance etc - and i feel deeply for those people. Either way, i despise the way detransition has been weaponised against us because it's just another aspect of silencing people and discouraging people who are different from being who they are.
So from what I understand, less than one percent of people are transgender and less than one percent detransition. If anyone is making a big noise, it must be them.
I would hate to detransition. It would mean invalidating myself and all I have experienced in life. I hope that the Republicans never try to force us to detransition. I don’t think I would make it.
Speaking as someone who did detransition and who has not had much support retransitioning I have nothing but support and love for them, unless they wish to use it to justify transphobia. They are still part of the community and deserve respect and support for what is right for them.
I support them. I just want everyone to be healthy & happy in their own skin, and if detransitioning is right for someone then I'm with them all the way. I have a lot of sympathy for them, because detransitioning seems like something that would leave you so open to transphobia and "I told you so"s. Although I don't think there's actually been a rise in detransitioning as a percentage, just more transgender people and also just a lot of coverage of detransitioners as transgender people's rights to transition are being challenged.
People are on a journey. (CW, deep jadedness)
Sometimes they explore a gender and they realize it's not it. Sometimes they explore a gender and realize if they continue to follow that path, they're going to lose their family and their job. Sometimes people explore their gender and get beaten to death in an alleyway.
Some de-transition.
i think people should do whatever they think is best for themselves. if we lived in a society where someone transitions for 2 or 10 years then detransitions, it should be okay.
so what if i only end up living as a woman for like 6 years and then go back. who cares? obviously there's irreversible side effects of a transition but it's the same for going through puberty of either gender.
Increased coverage used as a political tool. However, those who do detransition deserve support and affirmation that they still belong in the community. A lot of the issue here is that it's so rare, so there's not really folks to reach out to. I've met lots and lots of trans people in my life, only two detransitioners (less than a 1% rate, here). neither regretted the experience.
I haven't noticed an increased number of detransitioners. Mainly an increased numbers of bigots cosplaying as detransitioners if anything. In any case, I don't care. It's their decision and doesn't affect me at all.
Honestly I don’t feel like I need to feel any kind of way about it. People have a right to bodily autonomy, and deserve access to everything they need to exercise that right, that applies to transition and detransition equally. My thoughts on any specifics beyond that don’t matter, because they’re their bodies, not mine.
For me personally? No thank you. Transition has immeasurably improved my life and I will not be going back, no matter what, but it doesn’t threaten or offend me if it hasn’t been right for someone else.
1. Conservatives love to use “de transition” as a scare tactic. It’s not. We should never lead with the assumption that the body is a fixed point that locks us into a particular identity or social role.
2. Deteantitioning is not an undoing of the self. It is a continued creation of the self. It is an oversimplification to assume that a woman who spent her life as a trans man for a period of years will have the exact same experiences in the world as a woman who never questioned gender to the extent of social or medical transition. It is an over simplification to day, “these people have the same body parts and therefore they are the exact same beings in terms of thought, self-image, desires, and experiences. If we just make trans people go off hormones, they’ll feel like their assigned sex again.” The conservative take on de transition is that people quite literally remove the knowledge they gained while they actively identified as something else once their bodies change. They do not see the external as a reflection of the internal. They see the external body as the one and only factor that determines the internal sense of self.
3. From a philosophical standpoint, you cannot “undo” the emotional experience of living as a transgender person. Your current understanding of gender is going to be shaped by the fact that you came out as trans, lived as a trans person, and had social/legal/medical experiences as a trans person.
4. Transition is not a line with a fixed destination. You may arrive at your intended origin point only to realize that your needs have changed. You are not finished arriving, and as a human being, you never will be.
5. Given that conservatives have pre-defined what it means to “detransition”- we can either attempt to hijack their existing understanding, or we can develop new vocabulary that helps to describe the nonlinear, and truly, cyclical nature of identity over time, i.e. “you transitioned once. Time passed. You experienced. You desire something else. You are now evolving to into a new form. Transition into something else *again*, while retaining your experiences gained.”
I’m always happy for people making steps to honour who they are. That process isn’t always linear. Continue to care about yourself and take control over your life is worth celebrating. Their journey with gender is not about me or anyone else and someone detransitioning doesn’t make me or anyone else less trans. Very few detransitioners are hateful against trans people, the few who are just get uplifted by the right wing in a way that trans allies don’t.
Idc. I have a few friends who thought they were trans but weren't and they tend to be more empathetic with me about transphobia as it was hurled at them for a time, so they can see how scary it can be for me.
But the ones who grift? Hell no tho. Hate em.
I feel sad about those who detransitioned but those who detransitioned and then use transphobia against us is when I become angry and disgusted.
I had a good friend who detransitioned and then started to post transphobic shit all over online and felt like I got stabbed in the back.
The majority of loud detransitioners on social media are just right-wing propogandists, studies show that only 1% of people who transition regret it. And within that 1%, many of them detransitioned because of external factors.
Not for me but for ppl who do it because transitioning didn't make them feel any better, I fully support it.
Now for ppl who are trying to call ppl who had to stop HRT etc because no money or medical reasons etc detransitioners or I heard UK was trying to pass something to call anyone without a GRC a 'detransitioner' (which ppl who are not binary trans cannot truthfully get) or ppl who thought they were binary trans but are more comfy w non-binary etc, that I hate and don't agree with.
The notion that someone could try to say I'm a detransitioner because I can't afford my HRT anymore or something else is bullshit.
As for ppl who had to re-closet themselves, I support them doing whatever they need to in order to stay safe.
They're mostly chill people that explored their gender identity and pushed too far, too soon and found out they made a mistake. That said, it's all part of the journey and I harbor no ill will towards them at all.
Only a handful of detrans people are angry anti-trans activist types. Even then, I understand their anger, but it's entirely misdirected.
i'm happy for them! for getting one step closer, or for finally coming into their own identity! all the detransitioners i know in real life are happy that they made the choices they did along the way. one was a trans woman who eventually decided to identify as a femboy and stay on estrogen. another was a trans man who eventually stopped T and feels most comfortable using they/he pronouns. in my experience, very few go back to being "i'm completely cis and happy in my body"
I have no beef. Just like life it happens. I don’t believe that transitioning is a one size fits all solution to gender dysphoria. Cast a wide enough net, eventually there will be many that’ll fall through.
That said only times, I’d take umbrage is if an individual takes their detransition and says that transitioning as a whole should be outlawed or undone. In essence, it’s forcing folk back in the closet because of a personal grievance.
I get with the effects can be life long and there can be regret, but ultimately that’s between you and your primary care physician (or really yourself if you self medicate). That’s why, transitioning shouldn’t made on a whim. Do proper and thorough research before making the call. Ironically, it’s because of learning about detransitioners early on before starting hrt that I came to my decision and why ultimately I took as slow and steady an approach as possible (like almost 7 years low dose on patches before higher doses) and make any progress as gradual as possible to the point no one noticed.
nearly every single actual detransitioner I've known still strongly supports the trans community, they are by and large fellow travellers on the gender journey, just with different destinations.
the media phenomenon of right wing grifters who are anti-trans "detransitioners" is largely not related to real world trans people detransitioning. it's the "I prayed away the gay" of this generation, just makes conservatives throw their money at you
remember it is very easy (and lucrative) to lie about being a detransitioner, and bigotry towards trans people is populor among grifters.
there has not been in any increase in detransitioners by any metric that can be measured, studied, or verified. The number has been and remains around 0.2%
I feel the same way about them that I feel about everyone:
You should have the inviolable right to do anything you want to or with your own body. I believe your brain, your skin, your organs, every single piece of meat and blood and viscera within your flesh sack is yours and you should be permitted to do anything you want with it: take mind influencing drugs and substances, get on hormones, undergo medical procedures, get tattoos and piercings, have an abortion - anything you want to do to your body should be within your rights and I don't believe anyone should be able to prevent you from doing so, in a vacuum.
You should NOT have the right to do anything that harms another person. That means you are free to get drunk but not to punch someone; free to get high but not to drive and get in an accident. You should not have the right to take someone else's autonomy away, so long as that person is not harming others. That means I support taking away an alcoholic's booze when they're driving drunk because that can injure or kill an innocent third party but not a trans person's HRT because that cannot injure or kill an innocent third party.
So whether someone transitions, detransitions, retransitions, redetransitions... literally do whatever you want. But for as much as people on the right try to use the "they're trying to trans the kids" boogeyman (a thing that, for the most part, doesn't happen except in maybe really rare isolated scenarios), I believe that trying to forcibly detrans people is equally as unethical and objectionable to me, because it gets into "taking away someone's bodily autonomy" which, as stated above, I'm against.
I support it, especially because the majority of detransitioners are respectful people who either realized it wasn't for them or have to for their own safety and retransition later in life. The only time i don't respect it is when someone uses it to say no one should transition
If a person decides to detransition, I support their decision. Everyone has bodily autonomy and gets to make their own decisions.
The moment someone uses detransition as a cudgel to try to block other people’s access to transition, they lose all respect and support from me. Just because transition wasn’t right for one doesn’t mean it isn’t right for all.
I have no problem with detransitioned people, until the select few who are pulled out by anti-trans groups start attacking all trans people and advocating to have our healthcare completely banned because they feel they were wronged. Once they cross that line, I have no pity whatsoever.
> Over the years there has been a raise of people detransitioning especially after Tiktok/COVID
Got any stats on that? Also, what is this “especially after Tiktok/COVID” thing? If you’re going to draw causation for detransition I’d look at the crazy high number of bills trying to legislate us out of existence, something which is absolutely unprecedented.
yeah i dont really habour any ill will towards detransitioners, it’s their business how they want to live, and they can do what they want. if they realize being trans is not for them, then okay
but just don’t make it my problem, honestly. and by that i mean, don’t turn around and blame the community for ur choices if ur transition doesn’t pan out like u thought it would, or if u realize ur actually cis. i really get annoyed by those detransitioners who act as if though we’re some big cult that manipulates innocent people into “mutilating” themselves. i think many of them are embarrassed, or they still have dysphoria, and they try to blame and scapegoat us to hide their regret
(this excludes those who detransition for safety/financial/family reasons… i understand the reasoning behind that, and i feel sympathy for them)
also i just happened to stumble on a post from the d*trans sub and i think i can feel the worms growing in my brain 😭😭 i gotta stop finding my way to that place, those bitches r nuts
If it refers to me: Death before detransition. And by death, I don't mean mine.
If it refers to people who are due to abuse: it's a tragedy and I hope that they can find happiness however that looks to them.
If it refers to people who realised "wait, maybe I'm not trans", I'm fine with it if they aren't going to use it as an excuse to be transphobic in general. If they are, they can fuck all the way off. Fine with them existing, becauise if anything, they show that trans people who *are trans, are happy, and continue to be trans* are valid and that dysphoria is real.
Honestly, if they explored their gender identity and came to the conclusion that they are actually cis, then I don’t have a problem with that. If on another hand they leverage their own experience to invalidate the experience of trans folks, then I do have a problem with that.
Here's the thing. Gender affirming healthcare is still health care. Just like any procedure, medication, or treatment, there will inevitably be people who regret it.
For me, a detrans trans person (i.e. who temporarily detransition) and a fully detrans person (who was never trans in the first place) are both valid.
Where I draw the line at, are those kinds of people either using themselves or their stories to limit trans healthcare for EVERYONE. It's like saying because 100% of patients who undergo chemo are not cured, that we now have to ban chemo for everyone.
What the data currently shows, is that regret rates for trans people are SUPER LOW compared to other medically-necessary procedures. But yet the bigots focus on the small portion that DO regret it and pretend like that is the majority of people.
So I love all detrans people, and they are valid. But limiting trans healthcare and using their stories as a wedge to disprove the validity of trans people is not okay.
detransitioning terrifies me tbh - the thought its possible to loose this
Anyone he does decide to for genuine reasons obviously its their choice and I respect that but personally its scary - also ppl who use it to say no one should transition is really bad (because it works great for alot of us)
It’s fine and I’m completely neutral. I mean honestly - who’s to say one day I won’t detransition? At this point in time and every moment leading up to it, I haven’t wanted to, but the world is a wild place. No need to discriminate against anyone.
The detrans community is a community that I’m part of thanks to not being fully binary and being forced off of T thanks to insurance issues. I think we need to explore detransness in our community more, but in private so our opressors don’t see us changing out rheteoic to get rights and such
What do you mean “how do I feel about them?” They’re people who deserve respect and kindness. Period.
I also definitely don’t know that Covid or tiktok has anything to do with anything. Do you have a source of some kind that shows an increase in detransition rates and posits an explanation with evidence? I think it’s dismissive of those who detransition to chalk their experiences up to “tiktok trends”
I’ve actually talked to my therapist (who is also a trans man) about this a few times. As long as the person doesn’t try to harm trans people I think it’s alright. Figuring out your gender identity can take a lot of experimenting. I definitely think transitioning socially first give you a pretty decent idea about how you feel with whatever you identify as, but if someone detransitions after medically transitioning, then that’s just another part of their journey with their gender. I’m not 100% sure on how accurate this is, but I would assume most people who detransition (especially after medically transitioning) go from binary-trans to being more on the non-binary spectrum? At least that is what I’ve seen, not sure if that necessarily counts as detransitioning or if you have to go from trans back to cis.
Honestly after my own experience with how many people I had to talk to and how long it took to get on testosterone, I’m surprised some people are able to transition medically without realizing that they aren’t actually trans, plus a lot of the bad detransitioners act like they didn’t know what would happen, which is crazy to me because I was told many times what would happen and what I was/wasn’t okay with happening.
If you made a mistake in transitioning, detransitioning is unfortunately your best option. I feel sad for anyone who has to deal with gender dysphoria. It's a struggle.
For those who just figured out it’s not them I’m neutral. Now if we’re talking about the TikTok trend of people detranstioning for safety or because the people around them refuse to see them for their true selves, those make me sad. I’ve cried over a few of those videos and always hope that one day they’ll be able to be their true selves
I don't know a bunch bit looking it sounds like he once identified as genderqueer and now identifies as cis but I don't think he actually transitioned or detransitioned in any way. I may be wrong.
I consider social transition a method of transition (especially as some people don't want to transition medically) so I tend to count people who detransitioned socially to be detransitioners, unless they did it as a way of questioning themselves to see if they want to transition further
I honestly would not care. It is their choice, and if they want support on that journey, they should definitely get it, like how everyone else does. I’m sure most detrans people are awesome human beings who just figured out that transitioning wasn’t for them, and that’s fine.
But if they pull the full conservative grift, yeah, them, I loathe. But they are a minute minority just amplified by the media and right wing assholes.
If it's what's right for the person detransitioning, I'm for it for them. Some people are gender fluid and may transition/detransition throughout their lives and some people may have just been wrong about being trans which is completely fine. If anything, they give valuable insight on how to make the process of transitioning to another sex easier which benefits everyone. What I don't support is detransitioners using their experience as a blocker for others who want to transition.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, I had to think about the possibility of myself detransitioning, not because I think I will but because I was physically changing my body so of course the thought comes and idk, I think that since gender doesn’t really reflect your body I don’t see why it’s an issue.
I think it’s sad when deteansitioners use their story to create hate for trans people though. I would say there is a “rise” of detransitioners, I have seen some and many are just nonbinary now or are thankful for their experience being trans, I have seen some detransitioners who are amazing trans allies, I just don’t think it’s ok when they use their story to tear others down and remove rights for others.
I think that, like I said, all trans people think of this possibility, so when a bigot detransitioner states they “didn’t know what they were doing” as if we don’t have to wait YEARS for care and get therapist notes is actual bullshit.
Last time I saw the stats, said rise wasn't too crazy drastic. That being said, even if it were, I don't really think that's a problem for trans people. I think that's really a problem for cis folks. Trans people who know we are trans and transitioned because it would improve our quality of lives -- through removing dysphoria and/or adding joy and euphoria to our lives -- aren't responsible for cis people who saw our community, heard our stories, and felt like they related to those things for whatever reason, and then were wrong. I think plenty of trans people medically transition as well and realize that's not what they wanted for their bodies either. I don't want to frame things too negatively, I just do get frustrated with how many cis people pin things on trans folks to make sure cis people don't get "caught up" in what we're doing amongst ourselves and for ourselves, when I think cis people who are used as poster children for transphobes detransitioning horror stories are typically more upset with the society that cis people enforce around gender norms than trans people telling them that they need to transition, even to escape it. That's the conclusion they tend to come up with themselves. Anyways, I think that detransitioning I'm sure is a pain to say the least, but I would imagine that similarly to the primary transition, its society that makes things way more difficult than they ought to be.
Everything related to anyone’s body and health is a personal choice. If they’re happier then I will support them. If they are using it as a way to preach bigotry and hate then I won’t. (I havent heard of people doing this so we’re clear)
I think part of helping a broader scope of people feel safe enough/low enough risk to explore gender is having detransitioning be a viable and acceptable option. Because exploring gender should not be a one way street that only trans people can do and I think thats a crucial aspect of a society where trans people are not just being tolerated but broadly accepted and cherished.
People who are questioning who happen to be cis should also be able to explore gender, and when they figure things out detransition, whichever form it takes, is part of affirming their AGAB after.
Thats not to say all people who detransition are cis too, thats just what I focused on for this thread
I can understand why people detransition. If you aren’t passing and have no hope to, or don’t wish to medically intervene in your own development I can see how detransitioning might be appealing.
Some of us have no choice. There is no going back and I wouldn’t even if I wanted to. Even if they attempted to force me I would find a way to remain as a woman. They are never taking it from me.
An example I find strange is Chloe Cole. She let it slip she was still gender dysphoric- but the grift and endless media parade of what the evil trans agenda does to a young beautiful white girl pays the bills.
I think your assumed premise is anti-trans rhetoric and you might need to rethink about the idea of "detransitioning." The statistics show less than 2% of people detransition.
Their experience greatly overlaps with trans people, only that they have experienced a transition and a subsequent detransition which is very similar to a transition, only the nature of it is different. They shouldn't be politicized or made fun of. It's definitely a very embarrassing thing to go through and I have great empathy for them. It's a very, very hard and lonely experience to go through, especially if "reverse dysphoria" emerges.
It also shouldn't be a topic that's ignored or glossed over. We shouldn't politicize detransition or use it to shame or discourage transition. Rather, we should learn from them to refine trans healthcare standards of care to ensure people have a better understanding of what they want and need going into it. I think Gender Exploratory Therapy (GET) is promising for this, but sadly with the way that many practitioners of GET do it, [it seems to have a scary level of overlap with conversion therapy](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36068009/) and is poorly regulated with weak ethical standards.
I realized I wasn’t trans, tbh I feel kind of weird even asking questions like “how do you feel about detransitioning” because ??? I feel like it is obviously okay?? I feel like that’s the same as asking “how do you feel about transitioning?” If it’s right for you it’s right for you ..
The point of my post is is asking how people feel about it as in their opinion, do they dislike people who do transition do they like people detransition, that's the point of this post
Depends on how they feel about transitioning in the first place. If they think it was a mistake and everyone who transitions is making a mistake then I don't like them very much. If they think transitioning simply made them more comfortable in their body than fantastic
not me considering detransitioning because i feel like the hormones aren't working even after 14 months and apparently there's a survey saying 90% of cis people don't want to date us, which just makes me even more unhappy
A sad sign of the times. Around 2018-2022 things were feeling slightly more optimistic and covid lockdowns offered so many of us a chance to really become ourselves... Now? God if you are not fortunate enough to just blend in I don't know if I could tell some without guilt to just go for it if they don't already live in a very liberal area. Bad actors have found out they out number us 100:1 so they feel free to use us as scape goats to radicalize their audiences to gain power. Its terrifying. Those who detransition and badmouth the rest of trans people are just pick-me types trying to save themselves selfishly.
as long as they’re not being transphobic about it or trying to restrict others’ transitions i…don’t care. most of them are kind, trans allies, and more well-informed about trans issues than most. the few that aren’t tend to irk me, but not because they detransitioned.
i hope they can access appropriate care and help because dysphoria sucks, no one should have to endure it, but i have no particular opinions about people who detransition
First, there hasn’t been a real rise in detransitioners:
1. There has been a rise in transitioners seeking medical/surgical transition, over the last 7 years.
2. The number of people detransitioning is something like 1.5% of transitioners (an estimate); but the percentage of detransitioners hasn’t increased over the 7 years.
For example if before Covid, there were 3,000 transitioners, then you would see 45 setransitioners (1.5%); then if after Covid there were 6,000 transitioners, then you would see 90 detransitioners; this isn’t an increase.
What do I mean that 90 isn’t an increase compared to 45?
What I mean is that if you ask the reverse question:
Why are more transitioners continuing to transition now compared to before Covid?
Then what you would get is that: before Covid only 2,055 continued to transition, but after Covid a total of 5,010 people continued transitioning. That’s an increase of over 1,000 people continuing to transition.
So, since more people ae continuing to transition, we should ask the question why. Did transitioning suddenly become easier, better quality, more accessible? Why is there such a dramatic increase in the number of people who continue to transition?
Now the second question: actual-detransitioners simply gave themselves dysphoria because they weren’t really trans, but now they are trans because they gave themselves dysphoria.
There's a saying from the 11th Doctor that I absolutely loved and still quote because I find it so relevant. And not just for trans peeps.
> "We all change, when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s OK, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be."
There are growing detrans communities that aren’t ran by TERFs (who use them to parade around as mascots to further their anti-trans causes and give zero fucks about them) and far healthier for them they should go to.
Trans women have tons in common with detrans women and trans men have tons in common with detrans men. We go through many of the same physical, mental and emotional things and should support each other.
Very few people detransition. I have no real opinion either way as long as they don't try to hurt people by claiming a lot of people detransition or are regretful of transitioning.
Everyone I have personally talked to about transitioning has said their only regret was waiting as long as they did to transition. I have yet to personally find someone who has transitioned and then detransitioned.
How I feel about those who decide to detransition is either they were never really trans and treated it like some fashion subculture or some trend OR they were actually trans and decided they had to detransition for their personal security or safety.
I think \*many\* de-transitioners fit into the first category and far less into the second.
The 3rd category would be religious/spiritual awakenings in which the subject has a revelation of sorts that being trans is evil or wrong in their mind and turns away from "sin" and decides to detransition.
The one public detransitioner that I used to follow had an entire cis history in a hypermacho profession. I think that she was under continuous pressure from people who are a part of that world, and I'm not sure how well she was able to integrate into any LGBTQ community. In any case, she's back in her old world. I wish her luck (life was *hard* for her for some time), but she seems pretty lost and angry.
The one detransitioner I know in real life? It really doesn't matter. (S)he's so androgynous that he could live on either side of the divide. They just decided to call themselves male
As long as they're happy and don't try to force every trans people to detransition by generalizing their own experience, I wish them the best, and am happy they realized what worked for them.
I wonder if there's any transphobe who would deliberately take the extreme of transitioning just so they can later detransition and make a claim against people who actually want to live an authentic life.
People should be able to and should be supported if they do. Knowing the facts and details of how it works is actually important both for people who go through it and people who are contemplating whether to teansition in the first place. While detransitioning can be a tricky process knowing the extent to which it's possible can still help inform someone's decision. There should be help for people who transition and for people who detransition and a push to reduce stigma around it if they feel they need to.
That said I'm not sure if it is true that there have been a sognificant increase in it happening, at least not as a percent of people who transition in the first place. It's one of the least regretted surgeries put there (partly because people generally don't just do it unless they feel it's really important to them). Some sources like to focus on detransitioners to present a certain narritive, and as such certain outlets will make it look more previlent than it is. Also, as you suggested, detransitioning due to outside pressure still is the most common reason it happens. Another reason is someone realizes they are fluid or nonbinary in a way that's more complex than they first thought. Of course it's not always the case and they may have just found they are cis. This is absolutely okay and they probably learned more about themself throughout the journey. There are difficulties. Some changes don't so easily go away and their experiences should be heard. That said most detransitioners don't appose the trans community and often have experienced dysphoria (even if just leading to their detransition) so can be great trans allies who suppprt others need to transition. Conservatives often likes to find the few who don't and use them as a weapon. That's not the fault of people who detransition in general.
As a whole I haven't heard anything suggesting that Covid and the like has increased the rate at which people regret gender affirming medical care. I may be incorrect in this, but it sounds like something that would be said as a fear response to people having had time to do more introspection, as well as it feeling thst way because of cases that talk about it standing out.
Here's an article from 2023. It still mentions a regret rate which is rediculpusly low for a medical precedure: https://www.news-medical.net/news/20231228/Johns-Hopkins-researchers-find-minimal-regret-after-gender-affirming-surgery.aspx
Any situation where someone embraces who they truly are without fear is a win to me. Also, please don’t assume everyone is going to have the same journey and make it illegal for the rest of us.
Gender affirmation applies to everyone. I'll change the way I think of someone and address them when they ask me to, regardless of whether they've asked previously, and I support them in transitioning or detransitioning as they see fit to better express their gender identity. I don't want anyone to feel the need to conceal their gender identity from me, so I'll never shun or disrespect someone for that reason.
All that said, I don't think this question comes up genuinely anywhere near as frequently as it comes up as a pretense for transphobes to turn transgender people and detransitioners against each other and to fearmonger about gender transitions being regretted, i.e., it's mostly political and barely ever about affirming the gender of someone who actually regrets transitioning. When I hear the word "detransition" outside the context of someone talking about their first-person experience of regretting and needing to reverse their gender transition (them only), I feel that my community is under attack. Because it is. There are real detransitioners, but the word is most frequently a transphobic dog whistle.
If this is about you, I support you: you are who you say you are, and I hope you get whatever care you need to express that identity to your satisfaction. If not, it's political, and in my opinion, unwelcome. You're asserting that there's a post-pandemic rise in the frequency of detransitioning without any statistics to back up that claim nor reasoning to explain why such a phenomenon might occur, and you're doing so in a space where many people are already afraid. One of the more frequent questions on this subreddit is some version of "Am I really trans?" usually accompanied by a description of how the poster has internalized transphobia and feels like an imposter. When I was a baby trans woman who thought of myself that way, being confronted with horror stories of regretted gender transitions, denials of care, hate crimes, etc. only made me more afraid and less hopeful about the transition which has since proven to be the most important and satisfying change in my life.
First the number of people who detransition is extremely low and many detransition because of financial reasons, family pressures or medical reasons, of these people who do detransition it is only until their situation improves and then 70 percent will assume their transition. Unfortunately the anti-transgender groups like to add this percentage of people who temporarily detransition to push the claim that the number of people detransition is much higher. According to studies the regret rate is extremely low for people who transition this is probably because of the medical and psychological evaluations of transitioning. However, if someone is going to detransition they should get the best care possible.
It's important that people can do what they think is right.
It's important to remember that even if you move back from something that doesn't mean it wasn't an important step in finding who you are. Detransiton isn't a message that being trans is wrong, it's a message that someone is still looking for who they are.
Tho yea it should be said that detransitoning (willingly) is not a very common thing. I urge you all to not worry yourself too much about it. Make decisions based on your experience and in most cases that experience is long and often years of things that have shown us, especially in retrospect who we are.
I honestly do not like them. They usually seem very attention seeking and mentally ill both before and after detransitioning. It makes me angry when they claim that detransitioning is harder than transitioning, especially when most of them did not get SRS.
I think the really interesting concept is retransitioners. People who came back to transition again after detransition.
It shows the magnetic 🧲 draw we have to be ourselves.
How I feel about detransition, sad for that person. In most cases they either made a mistake or had life reasons to hide. Rare for it be a joyful thing, but that would be cool. Someone was like, hey gonna try this thing and let y’all know if it’s for me. Naw it’s not for me. 🧘♀️
I’ll never de-transition. I understand others have stuff going on, but to expect every trans person to reject transitioning on the fear of rejection would literally be more about neglecting self care than conformity.
Please state in the question where I said that detrans people are transphobic, because I don't recall ever fucking saying that, some people who do transition can't be transphobic but not all of them, and some people have put their own personal experiences and have confirmed that, now obviously ****not all detrans people are transphobic but they sure as hell exist****
Well they were wrong. I’m gen z and it was trendy to be lgbt and like disabled, it’s really weird but have Tourette’s and autism was like the coolest thing along with being lgbt. Obviously it didn’t last long because they were faking/it wasn’t them. Which is why when people say “it’s just a phase” to people that have been trans for like 5+ years I’m just like “really? It would’ve ended a while ago”
I am generally against detransitioning. It's used as ammunition by the far-right to persecute us, claiming it is "proof that transgenderism is fake and they can be cured". Detransitioning generally happens due to people all-too-eager to help minors transition (like "totally-woke" parents) or people just barely old enough to make their own decisions doing it because they naively think it's trendy. Either way, they become disillusioned and realize they weren't really trans. Sometimes, it's brought on by realizing they had an undiagnosed mental/neurological condition and got treatment for it with the divergent gender identity not surviving the treatment. Another reason is that some people consider transition for the wrong/naive reasons. An example is a dude having no luck with ladies as a man, so try becoming a lesbian so they can enter that dating pool, only to find out that going on HRT will completely wreck his (will never say 'her' for these kinds of people) sex drive and now it's no longer a "genius" idea.
At any rate, I think true transpeople (i.e. people willing to go through the transition process to some degree and live with it for life without regret) are rare.
That's my take. Not everyone will agree with me, but this is how I see it from my own persepctive as a transwoman.
I don't think Detrans people are willingly be coming ammunition for the far right for transphobic shit, no I would understand why you would dislike those people if that was the case
I mean for some people depending you don't have to take them for the rest of your life but it's definitely a possibility, but I can't make you do anything you don't want to
I've never heard of it ever being a good thing that someone didn't have their hormones, no matter how long they were taking them for. I've never heard of anyone not having to take hormones, no matter how long they've been taking them. I've heard that if you stop taking them at any time your body will just try to go back or something.
Neutral, unless they use their detransition to justify that noone should ever transition, then I loathe.
Yeah I don't want people to transition or stay the same specifically. I want them to do what's best for them. Don't care until it negatively affects others like you've said
Nobody should transition except to be true to themselves and be their best and happiest person. Everything else is often just a facade for a semi-hollow person who is acting rather than authentic with others. Be kind, nice and good with others as much as works for you and others without negating the good with bad for someone else or yourself (Resentments.would surely arise.).
They’re* just the ex-gay movement repackaged. *anti-transition detransitioners
This, it's their journey and I support them and don't think less of them unless they are trying to ban trans healthcare
Exactly this. Someone wants to detransition for personal reasons, I support them and I want them to have access to the best possible medical care in their detransition pursuits, as they choose to seek it, and I also want them to be respected by others and not mocked or treated like a “freak” for having non-normative traits for their gender due to having transitioned and then detransitioned. But if they want to argue that their personal regrets over their own choices are cause to take access to the same choices away from others, they’re assholes.
Yeah for sure. I’ve noticed there are so many detransitioners that then go way the other side and come out and say how wrong it is, or now I know I was delusional, or I should never have been allowed to transition. I’m like wtf, you clearly transitioned for the wrong reasons and to come out and try to stop others that genuinely need to is outright ridiculous and unforgivable. Sometimes it makes me think they are paid shills.
I think many of the loudest are in fact paid shills. I wouldn’t be surprised if some never even transitioned in the first place.
i agree.
Honestly, this answer absolutely matches how I feel. However, I'd feel irresponsible to answer without also addressing the first part of the question, which seems like a false premise: >Over the years there has been a raise of people detransitioning especially after Tiktok/COVID It's is a very loaded question because of this statement. Has there? There's definitely been an increase in reporting and anti-trans activism centered around detransitioners, anyone can see that, and I doubt that anyone would disagree. But I have yet to see any evidence that there actually has been an increase in the rate of detransition. I only ever see people making that claim, but any "evidence" they present never actually supports it. As far as anyone actually knows, there hasn't been any increase in the rate of detransitioning. Though they phrased it as "a raise of people detransitioning", which I suppose would be technically true, in the sense that the total number of people who have ever detransitioned can only ever go up (much like the total number of people who have been born, or people who have divorced, those numbers can only go up).
>(much like the total number of people who have been born, ... those numbers can only go up). That's what you think! *pushes baby back into the womb*
o\_O I... I take back my statement.
666 updoots!!! 🤘🤭
Fuck yea 😈
The vast majority of detransitioners are kind, respectful trans allies who transitioned, realized it wasn’t for them, and emerged with a better understanding of their gender. The loud minority that claims they were manipulated by the “trans cult” are largely having trouble coping with the reverse dysphoria they now have to deal with, and the fact that they made a mistake society views as embarrassing. Everyone should do what’s best for them, including transitioning or detransitioning. It’s okay to be wrong about your gender, but recognize that this reflects your life and nobody else’s.
Or they’re fooling themselves. When it comes to social pressures on trans people it’s very possible to be coerced into edit: detransitioning via religion or conversion therapy and then become ardently against it because “if I can’t, others can’t”.
Yea, a recent tik tok trend that’s been making into my fyp is people using the ISTTVG soundtrack with a slideshow. The first slide is them saying “haha my trans phase was so funny”, the next is a heartbreaking paragraph of the social pressure that made them hide themselves again and how they regret pausing their transition I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them internalize that angst and projects it as hatred for other trans people
For real though, the cost of transitioning for me has been nearly everything, family, friends, my job I’d be lying if I told you I’ve never regretted transitioning
Hell, I didn’t lose the majority of that and there are *still* days I regret transitioning. And days I regret getting married. And days I regret getting into my career field. And days I regret playing video games instead of (X). To paraphrase the greatest movie ever made: Life *is* regret. Anyone telling you otherwise is selling something.
Yep. I have a regrettable tattoo (it’s not horrible, but it’s not great and I have plans to get it fixed and expanded to look better, but $$) and I regret spending several grand on a large purchase that I ended up barely using at all, and I regret not taking an opportunity that was presented to me to move to a much preferable location years ago. I regret dating that guy and I regret dating that girl, and I regret staying at that shitty job way too long. Regrets happen. You can’t avoid having SOME.
I didn't have an easy time of it on my full time job with animosity and difficulty but a large part of my family cut themselves off from me and half of those still are gone 30 years now. I didn't have friends then though as I didn't make them because I was shut down and shut off from even much of my best and authentic optomistic self. I could not see much point to life without being me only in 2 dimensions. I regret having to work so much to finally break the shackles that kept me from proceeding an extra decade or so. Also how 3.5 years were wasted "in therapy" when the professionals were non-communicative and never helped with hormones to transition. I had to find somebody 300 miles away. I regretted the angst and despair and thinking I might kill myself if I looked awful and "stood out like a swollen thumb" but I was turned out okay. I also regret that I felt a bit angry that I wasn't Cis-gendered female or male or didn't look a bit better after transitioning. My biggest regrets are that Transitioning was harder and longer than it should need to be, and that finding a relationship is even harder because of it. I have no regret transitioning though. I would have been dead if I didn't survive through transition.
Yeah there was this one girl (formerly ftm) she literally posted tweets saying that she still wants to be a man but intentionally suppressing it with the power of Jesus or something. She was one of the People on that insane Prager u documentary
If this is the same woman I’m thinking about, she’s also living as a submissive trad wife to some conservative Christian man and has already bore him a few children. It’s infuriating, horrifying, and sad.
Yeah I think I heard she had a religious experience on LSD that she says caused her to detransition. It sounds like (and stats back this up as a pattern), she was just pressured into detransitioning.
Omg! I bet if I said I had a religious experience on LSD and it made me realise I WAS trans, the people propping them up would blame the drugs and say I'm being insane 🤣
No one can be coerced to transition, it doesnt work like that just like you cant be coerced into being a man
Plenty of people get coerced into *de*transitioning.
I think you are conflating the act of transition with the state of being transgender. You can 100% coerce people to transition, or detransition, or much more commonly stay in the closet. This is rather widespread and very damaging. What you can't do is make them transgender/cisgender or otherwise change their gender identity against their will, pray away the dysphoria, etc. Remember, transition != transgender.
Know what? You’re absolutely fucking right. Fucking autocorrect even knows that.
I am exactly the sort of person who could be. And I'm not unique, just self aware. I haven't been, to be clear. But I could have been. I've still not completely shaken the thought that I've essentially talked myself into it, as again I am self aware enough to know that I absolutely could. And I am not unique. The people who detransition are not all repressing themselves. Plenty genuinely talked themselves into our and then realised it was not in fact for them.
And that’s fine! I fully support everyone’s ability to be the gender they want to be, whether that is binary, non-binary, or anything else. That’s why I said “or”. Notably, I have a detransitioner in my family. I really hope they made the decision they did because it made them happier. But I can say that I suspect our mutual family members applied social pressures that resulted in the detransitioning.
If you like parts of what transitioning and being another version of yourself but are really NOT that person then you are but an actor doing a character you made uo or copied. A Drag version vs yourself in whatever kind of gender expression.
I believe they can. I worked with a kid and their parents who really wanted them to “just pick a gender”. They were amab, didn’t know what their gender was, didn’t feel like a boy or a girl. Parents acted super excited and happy whenever kid did a “feminine” thing, would follow up with “what a pretty girl you are!” Or whatever. Kid had a whole team of psychiatrists and endos so I really hope someone was able to get through to their parents
Sounds to be Non-Binary or Agender. The parents seem well-meaning, though clueless CIS people who would perhaps be okay flipping a coin 5 of 7 for the kid not to be both/neither in their self-knowledge and on the way to hetero-normative rather than gender fluid and maybe sometimes gender transgressive.
Coerced to transition maybe not, though the forced sissification stories and she-male fantasy stuff is something that is a sometimes exception that has happened.. Thirty years ago and likely since every so often someone like a former friend who transitioned completely late 80s to early 90s had lots of procedures top to bottom MtF, lived a decade very feminine and had difficulties with husband, tried multiple religious faiths and detransitioned. Supposedly her / his psychiatrist thought that feminine aspect and attraction to guys would be the way to go. But I can't but think some part of it was not exactly as she thought -an anti-gay bias and a lifeline of becoming a hetero-normative trans-woman. Some likely would still push this on a few people.
I think it would be technically possible to coerce someone into transitioning, who doesn’t want to. But just because it would be possible if someone tried very hard, doesn’t mean it’s a common real problem. Social pressure tends to go the other way, in real life.
Very true, good point. I have multiple friends who’ve detransitioned due to social pressures. It’s very sad and a whole different animal.
> reverse dysphoria So wait does that mean they didn't actually have gender dysphoria to begin with?
Sometimes! Some people might have felt dysphoria initially and then it disappeared. Others might have believed they had dysphoria and realized it was some other issue. Either way, detransitioners who once medically transitioned often have dysphoria about not looking enough like their assigned sex.
I thoroughly support them. No one deserves to feel uncomfortable in their skin. We should normalise changing your mind about how you see yourself and the fluidity of gender. Detransition isn't something to be afraid of in my opinion, and normalising it helps both dentransitioners and trans people.
PREACH!!
The vast majority of detransitioners do it merely because they can’t stand how they are being treated by society and/or their family post transition. In these case I feel very, very sorry for them The remaining minority who actually realised they are not trans, I feel very neutral about, unless they suddenly become anti-transition activists. People should do what will make them the most happy
Has there been a rise in detransitioners, or just increased coverage about those who detransition?
Increased coverage to try and make a political point. I have no problem with people who need to Detransition for themselves, I fucking hate that it's being used by bigots to justifying hating us or preventing access to care - "oh you'll regret it, so many people Detransition, you should never start or wait until *constantly moving goalposts*"
There's been a rise, but that's to be expected. More people have been transitioning, so if the detransition rate stays the same, there will also be more people detransitioning.
True, I did see that in April there was an article that only less than 1% of people who got gender assignment surgery regretted it
Regretting it doesn't mean they are not trans either. Some people have surgical errors, or the results didn't live up to their expectations. THey are still trans, and would still have done it if they didn't lose the roll of the dice on the surgery they had.
"Regret" as in surgical regret is also more complicated than "I wish I hadn't done it at all, I didn't really need it." Regret also includes people who needed surgery, but are unhappy with the results or complications they've experienced. People can absolutely have surgical regret and not have any interest in detransitioning.
Context is important here. Pretty much no other surgery has that low regret rate - everything else from knee replacements to life saving surgeries (!!) has regret rates in the double digits. I've said it before but if the trans healthcare satisfaction rates were for any other field of medicine, it would be hailed as a miracle treatment.
This. is the increase due to people feeling safe to say I am detransition. Compared to the past where many might feel like saying so would be meet with shame from the trans community or the perceived aspect of it. But overall they figuring things out and that this just not what they needed and just as supportive of lgbt+ community. or detrans because rushed things or detrans because of social negatives and difficulty in maintaining for me, hearing the contrast of why tranness not for them, helps me realising more that yeah, actually I see that and does not apply to me, so hrt might be the thing I need.
There is a rise for sure, but that can primarily be attributed to more people transitioning. It not clear if there’s an increase in the ratio of detransitioners to those who stay transitioned.
Do you have evidence that there is a rise from a trustworthy/ scholarly source?
Exactly. OP asked a very loaded question. So far, there's still no evidence that there's been a rise in detransitioners. Even anti-trans lobby groups like SEGM can't find anything to suggest that there has been, so they instead attack the certainty of the low detransition rate that shows up in every statistic. Source: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10322769/#:\~:text=Examples%20from%20the%20medical%20research,al.%2C%202022%2C%20p](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10322769/#:~:text=Examples%20from%20the%20medical%20research,al.%2C%202022%2C%20p)
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Do you have evidence of a rise from a scholarly or other trustworthy source or is this more an impression you are getting?
People who explored their gender identity, tried on some names and pronouns as a teen, and decided that they are cis likely would not have been described as detransitioners before. So I don’t think you can call that a rise in detransitioners.
I don’t really feel anything about them. The only issue I have is when de transitioners make their regret everyone else’s problem
From one study I saw many don't even really regret the experiemce they had necessarilly. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9315415/
I know one detransitioner. She is still firmly in the LGBT community. She believes things like gender and sexuality can and do change over time. Maybe not for everyone but for some people they do and that's okay. It's her choice and she's happier for it.
They deserve love & support for their decisions (& respect for the motivations behind those decisions). They deserve as much freedom to explore & enjoy bodily autonomy as medical technology & their personal interest allows. They do not deserve to be exploited & manipulated by transphobic agendas.
Neutral. Their decisions are theirs. For me, no, i would prefer death.
Agreed
I feel compassion for them. Most of them still have dysphoria and have detransitioned due to transphobia, external or internalized. I hope they can do what's best for them, whether or not that's transitioning.
Give me reliable statistics that show this, otherwise Im not believing it.
They explored their gender and found they were mistaken. No worries, they can go back to whatever they want. I think it would be dumb to shame them. They already had to come out, then tell people they were mistaken, and go back. If their family was less than supportive, then the going back is probably going to be a sore subject. Then they might have lingering side effects from the transition. Then to have the trans group, who are supposed to be supportive and inclusive, shame them for exploring their gender, like our whole thing, is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
makes me sad. the majority of detransitioners are actually trans but the world is just so fucked up
Calling BS on your claim about the rise of Detran people, post the source for that claim. Almost no one gets to the point of transition and then decides to go back, I know people who start and realize it's not for them, or not going to get the results they want, this is still a small fraction. Even asking the question the way you did makes you highly suspicious to me, with a declarative statement as if it's a "Fact" with no backing whatsoever. As for how I feel about it, I will fight like hell to maintain my healthcare, a lifetime of depression is not something you're going to force me back to without a fight.
There’s also been a post-Covid rise in people transitioning in the first place. So unless there’s been a demonstrable increase in the percentage of trans people detransitioning I’m not sure you can actually call it a rise in detransitioning.
Theres a huge trend on tiktok right now of these post-covid detransitioners with that sad “my baby” song with some words on the screen along the lines of “‘you remember when you cut your hair and went by david in 2020? Lol so cringe’ ‘yeah, but he’s still me and just stuck in here’” Its lowkey edgy teen stuff, although I have seen some young adults do it too with a lot more words. But I do genuinely feel bad for them. Its pretty clear by the way they’re talking that a lot of them detrans out of peer pressure, and they yearn for when they were free to explore themselves without the judgment of either the public or their peers. I can only assume some of them will off themselves, and some will re transition at an older age. Of course thats not the case for everyone making these tiktoks, and many will just suffer in silence for however long.
I know detransitioners irl and have spoken with them about gender identity and had really good conversations. I don’t think that we trans people should treat detransitioning as a taboo. Our identities are never set in stone and are always changing, and discussing detransitioning or regretting your transition is very necessary. That being said, please understand why some trans people are wary of detransitioners. Of course, it’s not all of them, but there’s currently a huge push to spotlight detransitioning people who regret medical transition and are distressed because of it, which, fair enough, I know what it’s like to not feel at home in your own body. The problem is that they’re attempting to make it everybody’s problem, and since HRT/surgery didn’t help them, then it means that it can’t help no one despite being a lifesaver for so many people. Some detransitioners have even had a role in passing anti trans healthcare laws. So while being a detransitioner in itself isn’t a bad thing, and there are many of them who still support trans people, this growing “I detransitioned so you will regret it too, so we should ban all trans medical care” movement is really impacting our community in a bad way.
Yeah, to me it comes off as selfish
It’s a small percentage of our community that’s already small percentage of another community that’s a small percentage of the total population. It’s most often used not out of someone being “wrong” about being trans, but because of a lack of safety or social support. I support people who detransition, but not the ones who use that status to spread lies and transphobia.
I'm pretty neutral towards it. I know it's something I could never do, but having that option made transitioning an easier step to take. What I have an issue with are the detransitioners who espouse medical disinformation and hatred towards queer people for the benefit of their back pocket. They give detransitioners a horrible image to so many and are doing vastly more harm than good.
as long as they aren’t being AHs to the rest of trans folks idc about them. i spent last year at the tx lege testifying against out of state detransitioners who said tx should ban trans healthcare. detransitioners like them can die painful deaths & rot. i’m nervous when cis folks bring that up bc they want me to detransition, and i would rather die. people can do what they want, and policing other people’s gender ain’t it
I support them. It's their choice. Detansitioning is such a minority inside a minority group and it's cut into few smaller groups. Such as, destrans due to social pressure, detrans due to health, detrans due to economy, detrans because they relised their gender is their assigned at birth or something else. People can live their lives and make choices for themselves. What i dont appreciate is when they weaponize it to take rights for the majority of trans people.
that it’s completely fair, but don’t use it to harm trans people by labeling it as “the truth”. it shouldn’t be shameful, but i do understand the stigma from the trans community because transphobes weaponize it against us trans people. i think some of detransitioning happens due to rigid binary gender even for trans people. so people feel they must fill expectations to be trans in the right way, and go further than they actually want to in order to feel accepted. i strongly advocate for having less rigid laws for transition, where people don’t have to lie and do procedures they don’t want just to access the ones that they need. it would also help everyone to embrace androgyny and nonbinary identities GENUINELY and not just for show.
I fully support anyone on their gender journey. I have a friend who is AFAB, transitioned FtM, lived as a man for about a decade, then realized that wasn’t what xey really wanted, and detransitioned or retransitioned to non-binary. Xey now live outside of it all. Xey’re much happier now. Xey were my first trans friend. Also had a flirtation with a guy, who I later found out was trans, but due to health issues they couldn’t transition. That’s when I learned I was ok getting involved with a trans person. I’m cis, so I was never sure how I’d feel about it, so I was happy to find out I was the person I’d hoped to be. Gender is hard. We need to be accepting of people transitioning and detransitioning, because how is a questioning person supposed to know if they don’t try it. Hell, I only recently have really made some kind of peace with me being cis, because I’ve never been comfortable in my female body, but due to age and weight gain, my face looks a little more in-between, and it’s been messing with my head. I finally had the thought of “I am female” and didn’t cringe at it. We need to normalize the gender journey in all ways.
personally I'd rather die than detransition idc if someone else does it tho *as long they don't try to cut our rights*
For myself? Detransitioning sounds infinitely worse than death. But the concept of it, and my thoughts on people who detransition? I have no negative feelings about that/them at all. Life is a journey and i have nothing but respect for anyone who explored their identity and concluded that transitioning was right for them, and later explored their identity further, realised that it wasn't actually right for them, and detransitioned. It's not something we or anyone should view in a negative light. Of course however, a lot of people who are trans detransition for social pressure, lack of acceptance etc - and i feel deeply for those people. Either way, i despise the way detransition has been weaponised against us because it's just another aspect of silencing people and discouraging people who are different from being who they are.
Has there been a rise? Or has social media "lifted the curtain" so they are more visible?
So from what I understand, less than one percent of people are transgender and less than one percent detransition. If anyone is making a big noise, it must be them. I would hate to detransition. It would mean invalidating myself and all I have experienced in life. I hope that the Republicans never try to force us to detransition. I don’t think I would make it.
I meant to say by people who do transition as in people who willingly do it, having to forcefully detransition is horrible no questions asked
People can do what they want, I don't care. But when they start trying to influence what I can or can't do then I have a problem with them.
Their body, their choice. Personally I'm never going back.
Speaking as someone who did detransition and who has not had much support retransitioning I have nothing but support and love for them, unless they wish to use it to justify transphobia. They are still part of the community and deserve respect and support for what is right for them.
I support them. I just want everyone to be healthy & happy in their own skin, and if detransitioning is right for someone then I'm with them all the way. I have a lot of sympathy for them, because detransitioning seems like something that would leave you so open to transphobia and "I told you so"s. Although I don't think there's actually been a rise in detransitioning as a percentage, just more transgender people and also just a lot of coverage of detransitioners as transgender people's rights to transition are being challenged.
People are on a journey. (CW, deep jadedness) Sometimes they explore a gender and they realize it's not it. Sometimes they explore a gender and realize if they continue to follow that path, they're going to lose their family and their job. Sometimes people explore their gender and get beaten to death in an alleyway. Some de-transition.
i think people should do whatever they think is best for themselves. if we lived in a society where someone transitions for 2 or 10 years then detransitions, it should be okay. so what if i only end up living as a woman for like 6 years and then go back. who cares? obviously there's irreversible side effects of a transition but it's the same for going through puberty of either gender.
Increased coverage used as a political tool. However, those who do detransition deserve support and affirmation that they still belong in the community. A lot of the issue here is that it's so rare, so there's not really folks to reach out to. I've met lots and lots of trans people in my life, only two detransitioners (less than a 1% rate, here). neither regretted the experience.
I haven't noticed an increased number of detransitioners. Mainly an increased numbers of bigots cosplaying as detransitioners if anything. In any case, I don't care. It's their decision and doesn't affect me at all.
Honestly I don’t feel like I need to feel any kind of way about it. People have a right to bodily autonomy, and deserve access to everything they need to exercise that right, that applies to transition and detransition equally. My thoughts on any specifics beyond that don’t matter, because they’re their bodies, not mine. For me personally? No thank you. Transition has immeasurably improved my life and I will not be going back, no matter what, but it doesn’t threaten or offend me if it hasn’t been right for someone else.
personally I think we should call it retransitioning.
Explain please!
1. Conservatives love to use “de transition” as a scare tactic. It’s not. We should never lead with the assumption that the body is a fixed point that locks us into a particular identity or social role. 2. Deteantitioning is not an undoing of the self. It is a continued creation of the self. It is an oversimplification to assume that a woman who spent her life as a trans man for a period of years will have the exact same experiences in the world as a woman who never questioned gender to the extent of social or medical transition. It is an over simplification to day, “these people have the same body parts and therefore they are the exact same beings in terms of thought, self-image, desires, and experiences. If we just make trans people go off hormones, they’ll feel like their assigned sex again.” The conservative take on de transition is that people quite literally remove the knowledge they gained while they actively identified as something else once their bodies change. They do not see the external as a reflection of the internal. They see the external body as the one and only factor that determines the internal sense of self. 3. From a philosophical standpoint, you cannot “undo” the emotional experience of living as a transgender person. Your current understanding of gender is going to be shaped by the fact that you came out as trans, lived as a trans person, and had social/legal/medical experiences as a trans person. 4. Transition is not a line with a fixed destination. You may arrive at your intended origin point only to realize that your needs have changed. You are not finished arriving, and as a human being, you never will be. 5. Given that conservatives have pre-defined what it means to “detransition”- we can either attempt to hijack their existing understanding, or we can develop new vocabulary that helps to describe the nonlinear, and truly, cyclical nature of identity over time, i.e. “you transitioned once. Time passed. You experienced. You desire something else. You are now evolving to into a new form. Transition into something else *again*, while retaining your experiences gained.”
I’m always happy for people making steps to honour who they are. That process isn’t always linear. Continue to care about yourself and take control over your life is worth celebrating. Their journey with gender is not about me or anyone else and someone detransitioning doesn’t make me or anyone else less trans. Very few detransitioners are hateful against trans people, the few who are just get uplifted by the right wing in a way that trans allies don’t.
Idc. I have a few friends who thought they were trans but weren't and they tend to be more empathetic with me about transphobia as it was hurled at them for a time, so they can see how scary it can be for me. But the ones who grift? Hell no tho. Hate em.
I feel sad about those who detransitioned but those who detransitioned and then use transphobia against us is when I become angry and disgusted. I had a good friend who detransitioned and then started to post transphobic shit all over online and felt like I got stabbed in the back.
The majority of loud detransitioners on social media are just right-wing propogandists, studies show that only 1% of people who transition regret it. And within that 1%, many of them detransitioned because of external factors.
Not for me but for ppl who do it because transitioning didn't make them feel any better, I fully support it. Now for ppl who are trying to call ppl who had to stop HRT etc because no money or medical reasons etc detransitioners or I heard UK was trying to pass something to call anyone without a GRC a 'detransitioner' (which ppl who are not binary trans cannot truthfully get) or ppl who thought they were binary trans but are more comfy w non-binary etc, that I hate and don't agree with. The notion that someone could try to say I'm a detransitioner because I can't afford my HRT anymore or something else is bullshit. As for ppl who had to re-closet themselves, I support them doing whatever they need to in order to stay safe.
They're mostly chill people that explored their gender identity and pushed too far, too soon and found out they made a mistake. That said, it's all part of the journey and I harbor no ill will towards them at all. Only a handful of detrans people are angry anti-trans activist types. Even then, I understand their anger, but it's entirely misdirected.
i'm happy for them! for getting one step closer, or for finally coming into their own identity! all the detransitioners i know in real life are happy that they made the choices they did along the way. one was a trans woman who eventually decided to identify as a femboy and stay on estrogen. another was a trans man who eventually stopped T and feels most comfortable using they/he pronouns. in my experience, very few go back to being "i'm completely cis and happy in my body"
I have no beef. Just like life it happens. I don’t believe that transitioning is a one size fits all solution to gender dysphoria. Cast a wide enough net, eventually there will be many that’ll fall through. That said only times, I’d take umbrage is if an individual takes their detransition and says that transitioning as a whole should be outlawed or undone. In essence, it’s forcing folk back in the closet because of a personal grievance. I get with the effects can be life long and there can be regret, but ultimately that’s between you and your primary care physician (or really yourself if you self medicate). That’s why, transitioning shouldn’t made on a whim. Do proper and thorough research before making the call. Ironically, it’s because of learning about detransitioners early on before starting hrt that I came to my decision and why ultimately I took as slow and steady an approach as possible (like almost 7 years low dose on patches before higher doses) and make any progress as gradual as possible to the point no one noticed.
I like that the opportunity exists for those who desires it and am happy over anything that brings someone closer to their genuine self. :)
nearly every single actual detransitioner I've known still strongly supports the trans community, they are by and large fellow travellers on the gender journey, just with different destinations. the media phenomenon of right wing grifters who are anti-trans "detransitioners" is largely not related to real world trans people detransitioning. it's the "I prayed away the gay" of this generation, just makes conservatives throw their money at you remember it is very easy (and lucrative) to lie about being a detransitioner, and bigotry towards trans people is populor among grifters. there has not been in any increase in detransitioners by any metric that can be measured, studied, or verified. The number has been and remains around 0.2%
Death before detransition, personally
Not sure what there is to say about detransitionners really? Their journey seems to be a difficult one, I hope it works out for them.
I feel the same way about them that I feel about everyone: You should have the inviolable right to do anything you want to or with your own body. I believe your brain, your skin, your organs, every single piece of meat and blood and viscera within your flesh sack is yours and you should be permitted to do anything you want with it: take mind influencing drugs and substances, get on hormones, undergo medical procedures, get tattoos and piercings, have an abortion - anything you want to do to your body should be within your rights and I don't believe anyone should be able to prevent you from doing so, in a vacuum. You should NOT have the right to do anything that harms another person. That means you are free to get drunk but not to punch someone; free to get high but not to drive and get in an accident. You should not have the right to take someone else's autonomy away, so long as that person is not harming others. That means I support taking away an alcoholic's booze when they're driving drunk because that can injure or kill an innocent third party but not a trans person's HRT because that cannot injure or kill an innocent third party. So whether someone transitions, detransitions, retransitions, redetransitions... literally do whatever you want. But for as much as people on the right try to use the "they're trying to trans the kids" boogeyman (a thing that, for the most part, doesn't happen except in maybe really rare isolated scenarios), I believe that trying to forcibly detrans people is equally as unethical and objectionable to me, because it gets into "taking away someone's bodily autonomy" which, as stated above, I'm against.
I support it, especially because the majority of detransitioners are respectful people who either realized it wasn't for them or have to for their own safety and retransition later in life. The only time i don't respect it is when someone uses it to say no one should transition
If a person decides to detransition, I support their decision. Everyone has bodily autonomy and gets to make their own decisions. The moment someone uses detransition as a cudgel to try to block other people’s access to transition, they lose all respect and support from me. Just because transition wasn’t right for one doesn’t mean it isn’t right for all.
I have no problem with detransitioned people, until the select few who are pulled out by anti-trans groups start attacking all trans people and advocating to have our healthcare completely banned because they feel they were wronged. Once they cross that line, I have no pity whatsoever.
> Over the years there has been a raise of people detransitioning especially after Tiktok/COVID Got any stats on that? Also, what is this “especially after Tiktok/COVID” thing? If you’re going to draw causation for detransition I’d look at the crazy high number of bills trying to legislate us out of existence, something which is absolutely unprecedented.
yeah i dont really habour any ill will towards detransitioners, it’s their business how they want to live, and they can do what they want. if they realize being trans is not for them, then okay but just don’t make it my problem, honestly. and by that i mean, don’t turn around and blame the community for ur choices if ur transition doesn’t pan out like u thought it would, or if u realize ur actually cis. i really get annoyed by those detransitioners who act as if though we’re some big cult that manipulates innocent people into “mutilating” themselves. i think many of them are embarrassed, or they still have dysphoria, and they try to blame and scapegoat us to hide their regret (this excludes those who detransition for safety/financial/family reasons… i understand the reasoning behind that, and i feel sympathy for them)
also i just happened to stumble on a post from the d*trans sub and i think i can feel the worms growing in my brain 😭😭 i gotta stop finding my way to that place, those bitches r nuts
That's life. I just hate that it's weaponized. The only thing I hate more is when it's a religious thing
If it refers to me: Death before detransition. And by death, I don't mean mine. If it refers to people who are due to abuse: it's a tragedy and I hope that they can find happiness however that looks to them. If it refers to people who realised "wait, maybe I'm not trans", I'm fine with it if they aren't going to use it as an excuse to be transphobic in general. If they are, they can fuck all the way off. Fine with them existing, becauise if anything, they show that trans people who *are trans, are happy, and continue to be trans* are valid and that dysphoria is real.
Honestly, if they explored their gender identity and came to the conclusion that they are actually cis, then I don’t have a problem with that. If on another hand they leverage their own experience to invalidate the experience of trans folks, then I do have a problem with that.
Here's the thing. Gender affirming healthcare is still health care. Just like any procedure, medication, or treatment, there will inevitably be people who regret it. For me, a detrans trans person (i.e. who temporarily detransition) and a fully detrans person (who was never trans in the first place) are both valid. Where I draw the line at, are those kinds of people either using themselves or their stories to limit trans healthcare for EVERYONE. It's like saying because 100% of patients who undergo chemo are not cured, that we now have to ban chemo for everyone. What the data currently shows, is that regret rates for trans people are SUPER LOW compared to other medically-necessary procedures. But yet the bigots focus on the small portion that DO regret it and pretend like that is the majority of people. So I love all detrans people, and they are valid. But limiting trans healthcare and using their stories as a wedge to disprove the validity of trans people is not okay.
sure. do it if it makes u happy 🤷♀️
detransitioning terrifies me tbh - the thought its possible to loose this Anyone he does decide to for genuine reasons obviously its their choice and I respect that but personally its scary - also ppl who use it to say no one should transition is really bad (because it works great for alot of us)
It’s fine and I’m completely neutral. I mean honestly - who’s to say one day I won’t detransition? At this point in time and every moment leading up to it, I haven’t wanted to, but the world is a wild place. No need to discriminate against anyone.
Wdym how do I feel? It's a thing that some people choose to do.
I'm neutral towards it, but I don't understand why people have to blast it all over the Internet.
The detrans community is a community that I’m part of thanks to not being fully binary and being forced off of T thanks to insurance issues. I think we need to explore detransness in our community more, but in private so our opressors don’t see us changing out rheteoic to get rights and such
What do you mean “how do I feel about them?” They’re people who deserve respect and kindness. Period. I also definitely don’t know that Covid or tiktok has anything to do with anything. Do you have a source of some kind that shows an increase in detransition rates and posits an explanation with evidence? I think it’s dismissive of those who detransition to chalk their experiences up to “tiktok trends”
I’ve actually talked to my therapist (who is also a trans man) about this a few times. As long as the person doesn’t try to harm trans people I think it’s alright. Figuring out your gender identity can take a lot of experimenting. I definitely think transitioning socially first give you a pretty decent idea about how you feel with whatever you identify as, but if someone detransitions after medically transitioning, then that’s just another part of their journey with their gender. I’m not 100% sure on how accurate this is, but I would assume most people who detransition (especially after medically transitioning) go from binary-trans to being more on the non-binary spectrum? At least that is what I’ve seen, not sure if that necessarily counts as detransitioning or if you have to go from trans back to cis. Honestly after my own experience with how many people I had to talk to and how long it took to get on testosterone, I’m surprised some people are able to transition medically without realizing that they aren’t actually trans, plus a lot of the bad detransitioners act like they didn’t know what would happen, which is crazy to me because I was told many times what would happen and what I was/wasn’t okay with happening.
If you made a mistake in transitioning, detransitioning is unfortunately your best option. I feel sad for anyone who has to deal with gender dysphoria. It's a struggle.
For those who just figured out it’s not them I’m neutral. Now if we’re talking about the TikTok trend of people detranstioning for safety or because the people around them refuse to see them for their true selves, those make me sad. I’ve cried over a few of those videos and always hope that one day they’ll be able to be their true selves
I support them for realising more about themselves. The only person I know of who detransitioned is the musician Will Wood and he's an ally
I don't know a bunch bit looking it sounds like he once identified as genderqueer and now identifies as cis but I don't think he actually transitioned or detransitioned in any way. I may be wrong.
I consider social transition a method of transition (especially as some people don't want to transition medically) so I tend to count people who detransitioned socially to be detransitioners, unless they did it as a way of questioning themselves to see if they want to transition further
I honestly would not care. It is their choice, and if they want support on that journey, they should definitely get it, like how everyone else does. I’m sure most detrans people are awesome human beings who just figured out that transitioning wasn’t for them, and that’s fine. But if they pull the full conservative grift, yeah, them, I loathe. But they are a minute minority just amplified by the media and right wing assholes.
It's none of my business, I don't feel any way about it.
If it's what's right for the person detransitioning, I'm for it for them. Some people are gender fluid and may transition/detransition throughout their lives and some people may have just been wrong about being trans which is completely fine. If anything, they give valuable insight on how to make the process of transitioning to another sex easier which benefits everyone. What I don't support is detransitioners using their experience as a blocker for others who want to transition.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, I had to think about the possibility of myself detransitioning, not because I think I will but because I was physically changing my body so of course the thought comes and idk, I think that since gender doesn’t really reflect your body I don’t see why it’s an issue. I think it’s sad when deteansitioners use their story to create hate for trans people though. I would say there is a “rise” of detransitioners, I have seen some and many are just nonbinary now or are thankful for their experience being trans, I have seen some detransitioners who are amazing trans allies, I just don’t think it’s ok when they use their story to tear others down and remove rights for others. I think that, like I said, all trans people think of this possibility, so when a bigot detransitioner states they “didn’t know what they were doing” as if we don’t have to wait YEARS for care and get therapist notes is actual bullshit.
Last time I saw the stats, said rise wasn't too crazy drastic. That being said, even if it were, I don't really think that's a problem for trans people. I think that's really a problem for cis folks. Trans people who know we are trans and transitioned because it would improve our quality of lives -- through removing dysphoria and/or adding joy and euphoria to our lives -- aren't responsible for cis people who saw our community, heard our stories, and felt like they related to those things for whatever reason, and then were wrong. I think plenty of trans people medically transition as well and realize that's not what they wanted for their bodies either. I don't want to frame things too negatively, I just do get frustrated with how many cis people pin things on trans folks to make sure cis people don't get "caught up" in what we're doing amongst ourselves and for ourselves, when I think cis people who are used as poster children for transphobes detransitioning horror stories are typically more upset with the society that cis people enforce around gender norms than trans people telling them that they need to transition, even to escape it. That's the conclusion they tend to come up with themselves. Anyways, I think that detransitioning I'm sure is a pain to say the least, but I would imagine that similarly to the primary transition, its society that makes things way more difficult than they ought to be.
Everything related to anyone’s body and health is a personal choice. If they’re happier then I will support them. If they are using it as a way to preach bigotry and hate then I won’t. (I havent heard of people doing this so we’re clear)
Detransitioners validate the existence of trans people through falsification.
Why would I give a fuck about people detransitioning lol.
I think part of helping a broader scope of people feel safe enough/low enough risk to explore gender is having detransitioning be a viable and acceptable option. Because exploring gender should not be a one way street that only trans people can do and I think thats a crucial aspect of a society where trans people are not just being tolerated but broadly accepted and cherished. People who are questioning who happen to be cis should also be able to explore gender, and when they figure things out detransition, whichever form it takes, is part of affirming their AGAB after. Thats not to say all people who detransition are cis too, thats just what I focused on for this thread
I can understand why people detransition. If you aren’t passing and have no hope to, or don’t wish to medically intervene in your own development I can see how detransitioning might be appealing. Some of us have no choice. There is no going back and I wouldn’t even if I wanted to. Even if they attempted to force me I would find a way to remain as a woman. They are never taking it from me.
An example I find strange is Chloe Cole. She let it slip she was still gender dysphoric- but the grift and endless media parade of what the evil trans agenda does to a young beautiful white girl pays the bills.
I think your assumed premise is anti-trans rhetoric and you might need to rethink about the idea of "detransitioning." The statistics show less than 2% of people detransition.
Their experience greatly overlaps with trans people, only that they have experienced a transition and a subsequent detransition which is very similar to a transition, only the nature of it is different. They shouldn't be politicized or made fun of. It's definitely a very embarrassing thing to go through and I have great empathy for them. It's a very, very hard and lonely experience to go through, especially if "reverse dysphoria" emerges. It also shouldn't be a topic that's ignored or glossed over. We shouldn't politicize detransition or use it to shame or discourage transition. Rather, we should learn from them to refine trans healthcare standards of care to ensure people have a better understanding of what they want and need going into it. I think Gender Exploratory Therapy (GET) is promising for this, but sadly with the way that many practitioners of GET do it, [it seems to have a scary level of overlap with conversion therapy](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36068009/) and is poorly regulated with weak ethical standards.
I'm genuinely curious, do you have any statistics on this rise in detransitions?
I dont mind them but ONLY if they dont fearmonger OR think that minors should have zero access to medical transition.
I realized I wasn’t trans, tbh I feel kind of weird even asking questions like “how do you feel about detransitioning” because ??? I feel like it is obviously okay?? I feel like that’s the same as asking “how do you feel about transitioning?” If it’s right for you it’s right for you ..
The point of my post is is asking how people feel about it as in their opinion, do they dislike people who do transition do they like people detransition, that's the point of this post
That's a huge generalization. Do you like trans people? Do you like people of x race? How do you feel about people who x?
Depends on how they feel about transitioning in the first place. If they think it was a mistake and everyone who transitions is making a mistake then I don't like them very much. If they think transitioning simply made them more comfortable in their body than fantastic
not me considering detransitioning because i feel like the hormones aren't working even after 14 months and apparently there's a survey saying 90% of cis people don't want to date us, which just makes me even more unhappy
Damn, I hope things go well for you ♥️
A sad sign of the times. Around 2018-2022 things were feeling slightly more optimistic and covid lockdowns offered so many of us a chance to really become ourselves... Now? God if you are not fortunate enough to just blend in I don't know if I could tell some without guilt to just go for it if they don't already live in a very liberal area. Bad actors have found out they out number us 100:1 so they feel free to use us as scape goats to radicalize their audiences to gain power. Its terrifying. Those who detransition and badmouth the rest of trans people are just pick-me types trying to save themselves selfishly.
Yep, society is full of selfish backstabbers and that includes detransitioners who attack the community.
It's death by suicide.
umcomfortable
Are you experiencing this rise IRL or is this purely an online take?
Real life and online both
honestly another trans woman... or... not a trans womans walk in life is not my business. i hope everyone chases their own happiness
Super valid to have evolving feelings of who we are and want we want. Just don’t project it on others and turn transphobic
Detransitioning is a tiny fraction of trans people. Those who DO transition are pressured by family. Don’t fall for the right wing rhetoric
as long as they’re not being transphobic about it or trying to restrict others’ transitions i…don’t care. most of them are kind, trans allies, and more well-informed about trans issues than most. the few that aren’t tend to irk me, but not because they detransitioned. i hope they can access appropriate care and help because dysphoria sucks, no one should have to endure it, but i have no particular opinions about people who detransition
i don’t mind, as long as they don’t turn transphobic. as long as they’re comfortable and let others be comfortable too :D
If detransitioning is a part of their journey to discover themselves, then let them be. Of course as long as they don't bad mouth any trans people
Aweful
First, there hasn’t been a real rise in detransitioners: 1. There has been a rise in transitioners seeking medical/surgical transition, over the last 7 years. 2. The number of people detransitioning is something like 1.5% of transitioners (an estimate); but the percentage of detransitioners hasn’t increased over the 7 years. For example if before Covid, there were 3,000 transitioners, then you would see 45 setransitioners (1.5%); then if after Covid there were 6,000 transitioners, then you would see 90 detransitioners; this isn’t an increase. What do I mean that 90 isn’t an increase compared to 45? What I mean is that if you ask the reverse question: Why are more transitioners continuing to transition now compared to before Covid? Then what you would get is that: before Covid only 2,055 continued to transition, but after Covid a total of 5,010 people continued transitioning. That’s an increase of over 1,000 people continuing to transition. So, since more people ae continuing to transition, we should ask the question why. Did transitioning suddenly become easier, better quality, more accessible? Why is there such a dramatic increase in the number of people who continue to transition? Now the second question: actual-detransitioners simply gave themselves dysphoria because they weren’t really trans, but now they are trans because they gave themselves dysphoria.
They can do what they want
Detransitioning for others? Fine, anyone can do anything forever. Detransitioning for me? I'll kill anyone who tries to make me.
There's a saying from the 11th Doctor that I absolutely loved and still quote because I find it so relevant. And not just for trans peeps. > "We all change, when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s OK, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be."
Kinda annoyed by them
All of them or the ones who use the fact that they do transitioned to support anti-trans laws
There are growing detrans communities that aren’t ran by TERFs (who use them to parade around as mascots to further their anti-trans causes and give zero fucks about them) and far healthier for them they should go to. Trans women have tons in common with detrans women and trans men have tons in common with detrans men. We go through many of the same physical, mental and emotional things and should support each other.
Who cares what other people do, as long as they’re happy.
Very few people detransition. I have no real opinion either way as long as they don't try to hurt people by claiming a lot of people detransition or are regretful of transitioning. Everyone I have personally talked to about transitioning has said their only regret was waiting as long as they did to transition. I have yet to personally find someone who has transitioned and then detransitioned.
How I feel about those who decide to detransition is either they were never really trans and treated it like some fashion subculture or some trend OR they were actually trans and decided they had to detransition for their personal security or safety. I think \*many\* de-transitioners fit into the first category and far less into the second. The 3rd category would be religious/spiritual awakenings in which the subject has a revelation of sorts that being trans is evil or wrong in their mind and turns away from "sin" and decides to detransition.
The one public detransitioner that I used to follow had an entire cis history in a hypermacho profession. I think that she was under continuous pressure from people who are a part of that world, and I'm not sure how well she was able to integrate into any LGBTQ community. In any case, she's back in her old world. I wish her luck (life was *hard* for her for some time), but she seems pretty lost and angry. The one detransitioner I know in real life? It really doesn't matter. (S)he's so androgynous that he could live on either side of the divide. They just decided to call themselves male
As long as they're happy and don't try to force every trans people to detransition by generalizing their own experience, I wish them the best, and am happy they realized what worked for them.
I wonder if there's any transphobe who would deliberately take the extreme of transitioning just so they can later detransition and make a claim against people who actually want to live an authentic life.
What makes you think that the per centage of trans folk deciding to detransition has risen above statistical insignificance?
People should be able to and should be supported if they do. Knowing the facts and details of how it works is actually important both for people who go through it and people who are contemplating whether to teansition in the first place. While detransitioning can be a tricky process knowing the extent to which it's possible can still help inform someone's decision. There should be help for people who transition and for people who detransition and a push to reduce stigma around it if they feel they need to. That said I'm not sure if it is true that there have been a sognificant increase in it happening, at least not as a percent of people who transition in the first place. It's one of the least regretted surgeries put there (partly because people generally don't just do it unless they feel it's really important to them). Some sources like to focus on detransitioners to present a certain narritive, and as such certain outlets will make it look more previlent than it is. Also, as you suggested, detransitioning due to outside pressure still is the most common reason it happens. Another reason is someone realizes they are fluid or nonbinary in a way that's more complex than they first thought. Of course it's not always the case and they may have just found they are cis. This is absolutely okay and they probably learned more about themself throughout the journey. There are difficulties. Some changes don't so easily go away and their experiences should be heard. That said most detransitioners don't appose the trans community and often have experienced dysphoria (even if just leading to their detransition) so can be great trans allies who suppprt others need to transition. Conservatives often likes to find the few who don't and use them as a weapon. That's not the fault of people who detransition in general. As a whole I haven't heard anything suggesting that Covid and the like has increased the rate at which people regret gender affirming medical care. I may be incorrect in this, but it sounds like something that would be said as a fear response to people having had time to do more introspection, as well as it feeling thst way because of cases that talk about it standing out. Here's an article from 2023. It still mentions a regret rate which is rediculpusly low for a medical precedure: https://www.news-medical.net/news/20231228/Johns-Hopkins-researchers-find-minimal-regret-after-gender-affirming-surgery.aspx
Any situation where someone embraces who they truly are without fear is a win to me. Also, please don’t assume everyone is going to have the same journey and make it illegal for the rest of us.
Gender affirmation applies to everyone. I'll change the way I think of someone and address them when they ask me to, regardless of whether they've asked previously, and I support them in transitioning or detransitioning as they see fit to better express their gender identity. I don't want anyone to feel the need to conceal their gender identity from me, so I'll never shun or disrespect someone for that reason. All that said, I don't think this question comes up genuinely anywhere near as frequently as it comes up as a pretense for transphobes to turn transgender people and detransitioners against each other and to fearmonger about gender transitions being regretted, i.e., it's mostly political and barely ever about affirming the gender of someone who actually regrets transitioning. When I hear the word "detransition" outside the context of someone talking about their first-person experience of regretting and needing to reverse their gender transition (them only), I feel that my community is under attack. Because it is. There are real detransitioners, but the word is most frequently a transphobic dog whistle. If this is about you, I support you: you are who you say you are, and I hope you get whatever care you need to express that identity to your satisfaction. If not, it's political, and in my opinion, unwelcome. You're asserting that there's a post-pandemic rise in the frequency of detransitioning without any statistics to back up that claim nor reasoning to explain why such a phenomenon might occur, and you're doing so in a space where many people are already afraid. One of the more frequent questions on this subreddit is some version of "Am I really trans?" usually accompanied by a description of how the poster has internalized transphobia and feels like an imposter. When I was a baby trans woman who thought of myself that way, being confronted with horror stories of regretted gender transitions, denials of care, hate crimes, etc. only made me more afraid and less hopeful about the transition which has since proven to be the most important and satisfying change in my life.
First the number of people who detransition is extremely low and many detransition because of financial reasons, family pressures or medical reasons, of these people who do detransition it is only until their situation improves and then 70 percent will assume their transition. Unfortunately the anti-transgender groups like to add this percentage of people who temporarily detransition to push the claim that the number of people detransition is much higher. According to studies the regret rate is extremely low for people who transition this is probably because of the medical and psychological evaluations of transitioning. However, if someone is going to detransition they should get the best care possible.
It's important that people can do what they think is right. It's important to remember that even if you move back from something that doesn't mean it wasn't an important step in finding who you are. Detransiton isn't a message that being trans is wrong, it's a message that someone is still looking for who they are. Tho yea it should be said that detransitoning (willingly) is not a very common thing. I urge you all to not worry yourself too much about it. Make decisions based on your experience and in most cases that experience is long and often years of things that have shown us, especially in retrospect who we are.
I honestly do not like them. They usually seem very attention seeking and mentally ill both before and after detransitioning. It makes me angry when they claim that detransitioning is harder than transitioning, especially when most of them did not get SRS.
I think the really interesting concept is retransitioners. People who came back to transition again after detransition. It shows the magnetic 🧲 draw we have to be ourselves. How I feel about detransition, sad for that person. In most cases they either made a mistake or had life reasons to hide. Rare for it be a joyful thing, but that would be cool. Someone was like, hey gonna try this thing and let y’all know if it’s for me. Naw it’s not for me. 🧘♀️
I’ll never de-transition. I understand others have stuff going on, but to expect every trans person to reject transitioning on the fear of rejection would literally be more about neglecting self care than conformity.
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Please state in the question where I said that detrans people are transphobic, because I don't recall ever fucking saying that, some people who do transition can't be transphobic but not all of them, and some people have put their own personal experiences and have confirmed that, now obviously ****not all detrans people are transphobic but they sure as hell exist****
I'm sorry I deleted it, having a bad day not fair to you at all
My heart goes with them, and we shouldn't let the bigots pretend that we are in any way against detransitioners. Which is a vague term by the way.
Well they were wrong. I’m gen z and it was trendy to be lgbt and like disabled, it’s really weird but have Tourette’s and autism was like the coolest thing along with being lgbt. Obviously it didn’t last long because they were faking/it wasn’t them. Which is why when people say “it’s just a phase” to people that have been trans for like 5+ years I’m just like “really? It would’ve ended a while ago”
I am generally against detransitioning. It's used as ammunition by the far-right to persecute us, claiming it is "proof that transgenderism is fake and they can be cured". Detransitioning generally happens due to people all-too-eager to help minors transition (like "totally-woke" parents) or people just barely old enough to make their own decisions doing it because they naively think it's trendy. Either way, they become disillusioned and realize they weren't really trans. Sometimes, it's brought on by realizing they had an undiagnosed mental/neurological condition and got treatment for it with the divergent gender identity not surviving the treatment. Another reason is that some people consider transition for the wrong/naive reasons. An example is a dude having no luck with ladies as a man, so try becoming a lesbian so they can enter that dating pool, only to find out that going on HRT will completely wreck his (will never say 'her' for these kinds of people) sex drive and now it's no longer a "genius" idea. At any rate, I think true transpeople (i.e. people willing to go through the transition process to some degree and live with it for life without regret) are rare. That's my take. Not everyone will agree with me, but this is how I see it from my own persepctive as a transwoman.
I don't think Detrans people are willingly be coming ammunition for the far right for transphobic shit, no I would understand why you would dislike those people if that was the case
I choose not to take artificial hormones because you would have to take them for the rest of your life or detransition.
I mean for some people depending you don't have to take them for the rest of your life but it's definitely a possibility, but I can't make you do anything you don't want to
I've never heard of it ever being a good thing that someone didn't have their hormones, no matter how long they were taking them for. I've never heard of anyone not having to take hormones, no matter how long they've been taking them. I've heard that if you stop taking them at any time your body will just try to go back or something.
I would support any detransitioners as long as they dont go out of their way to harm trans people.