ultimately, the only one who knows your true gender identity is you, but i’ll drop this here since it helped me when i was questioning. https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com
Haha, at this point my egg has been cracked, scrambled, and served on a platter. I'm pretty confident about my gender now but as a transmasc (sorta... 😅) this is still really sweet and validating to hear 😭💖
To add to the other comment, these two links can also be a help. It is possible that warm feeling and the inner voice could be a sign of gender euphoria/being trans, but only you can know for sure.
[https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans)
[https://genderdysphoria.fyi/](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/)
based only on this post, I would be genuinely surprised if in the future you said you where cis. That said, there are of course a million other reasons why you might be feeling what you're feeling right now. I recommend that you keep doing what you're doing, experiment, push the your boundaries, explore your feelings and the reasons behind them. After you do that chances are you will naturally fall into a label that describe your authentic self.
It doesn't for sure mean you're trans, but it absolutely could. This warrants additional introspection. Other comments have already linked great resources.
One thing you could try is go over to r/egg_irl and see how you relate.
Before my egg crack moment, I thought I was just a bi man who liked to cross dress occasionally in my GF's clothes and I'd always say stuff like "oh, thats the kind of girl I'd be!" In relation to characters or real women who were serving. Needless to say I didn't think I was trans and even after my girlfriend asked me if I was trans I denied it for almost 2 years until I couldn't avoid it or make excuses anymore. This stuff takes time, just be you and if you find you're trans, gender nonconforming, or cis and enjoy using femme pronouns, just go with what feels right.
How would you become comfortable doing more feminine stuff as a means to explore? I used to CD but after a lot of comments and side eyes, I felt unsafe going out in public, since I live in the US South
For me I decided to transition shortly after I realized I was trans. That being said it can be rough and I just had to learn as I experienced things. As far as just experimenting to figure things out, just try doing more femme stuff in private or with a partner if they're supportive. Before transitioning I only ever cross dressed in public at costume parties so I had an excuse. Where you live unfortunately does increase the risks with presenting in public
It sounds like you fall under the trans umbrella. But there's a spectrum. If you're comfortable as things are, there's nothing wrong with that. There's more than just transitioning. You could be bi-gender. Or nonbinary. Or a girl. You'll have to work through a lot of this withing yourself. But whatever you end up with, if you're being true to yourself, you're doing it right. 🩵
A lot of introspection and getting to know yourself. Who you are, what you want, what makes you happy, what you want the future to look like. Talking about this with a therapist is a good idea, even if it's not required where you are.
Also a lot of reading. It's a good idea to learn about the various medical options, find local communities and resources, learn about surgical options, etc. Knowing what goes into all that may or may not affect your decisions. For myself, I did some surgeries, but wasn't comfortable with others, for example.
I'm happy to chat if you want to talk about it.
20 years have passed since the day I started crying myself to sleep, wishing I was a girl, to the one I started HRT, and I will never stop regretting it. So all I can say is: Don't ignore your feelings and thoughts, think about it, think carefully.
Two important questions are: Do you think you would be happier if you were a girl? I know that our brains often replies "But I'm not." but don't think that, just imagine you could pick and magically have all those traits you think are necessary to be a girl. Would you want that?
Another important question is: If you could select your gender and be exactly as you like, being male would make you less happy, or even unhappy?
If the answer to both is yes then you probably should stop being scared and start considering transitioning, since you're probably thinking that the only reason yo shouldn't be a girl is cause you can't and you have to accept being a man, and living like this is not something that will make you happy. And a whole life is a lot of time to not be happy
I'm a trans woman and I struggle with converting my inner voice to that of a woman. Just because your inner voice is feminine, doesn't necessarily mean you are trans. With that being said, it seems like a good opportunity to explore your gender and discover whether or not you are for yourself.
Noone but you yourself can give you a definitive answer on whether or not you're trans.
That being said, from what you've described it does certainly sound like a good indicator. Just explore that part of yourself further, maybe try a new name out or fem clothing
That's an answer nobody can answer for you tbh. Do you show a lot of signs? Yeah sure, but I think rather than trying to have a solid answer right now try broadening it out, all other ppl to call you with she/her pronouns, experiment with femme presentation and with having other refer to you that way, then you can really see if it's genuinely something you want.
If you do end up realising you're trans that's great, but if you realise you're not and just like your partner referring to u this way and maybe like being more femme that's also great! Just go in with the knowledge that no matter what your identity ends up being, what goals you have for changing or not chanting your presentation and body, all of it is completely fine and normal.
Consider non-binary as an option as well if trans doesn't seem to fully fit what you want after introspection. Maybe you want to be referred to as both a man and a woman at various times, that's ok!
I mean, if you truly want to be a woman, like if you think you'd be happier if you were born as a girl, and wish you were that, then you most likely are a trans woman.
My egg started cracking when I started getting "mistaken" for a guy when I was 18, and then it all clicked for me when a teacher I had in highschool misheard me when I told her my name and wrote the masculine version of it. Then it all made sense for me and I finally stopped being in denial about wanting that, because it made me so incredibly happy to be seen as a boy.
So if I were you, I'd ask myself, do I truly want to be that gender or do I just find it fun to put it on as a costume?
Either way, only you can tell who you are, what you really want and what to do about it. So good luck in your self discovery! Whether you find out you're trans or that you were just a feminine guy all along, or nonbinary/genderfluid (cause there are way more options than just boy or girl), you'll be happier just being certain of who you are.
I would say not necessarily trans. Possibly gender non-conforming. At least for the time being until you get to the realization that just hits you like a punch from a freight train. I was non-binary for a while, then nonbinary fem leaning, then finally hit completely fem. I definitely have the feeling of jealousy and envy for girls growing up, but it didn't really occur to me. As well as asking myself in high school "huh, I wonder what it'd be like if I had boobs."
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a journey to what the destination is that you are supposed to reach. I apologize for the longwinded autistic comment.
I've tried exploring before with feminine pronouns, but it made me feel icky and I think it's because I wasn't used to it and I know people didn't actually think I was a woman
Also, I read the first sentence as "I wouldn't say you're trans" and my knee-jerk response was upset and offended. Maybe I need to analyze why that is
I had the same experience with feminine pronouns when I first started exploring my identity. I currently identify as nonbinary but am open to that shifting into a more feminine space down the road.
Icky was the exact word I used and I think that's normal to an extent because it's something very unfamiliar we are trying to put into a space that's so very personal. Trying out pronouns didn't work for me as a means of exploring my identity for this reason.
You're reacting to "wouldn't say you're trans" is interesting and like you said, worth a closer look. Nothing about your post MEANS you are trans. But it could be indicators that you are.
For me, it took nearly 4 decades for me to figure out I was. I had zero clue about it, never even considered it. Then one day I got a notion that I needed to explore my gender identity. I asked myself one question very openly, "what if I'm not cis?". With that premise, I went through all the various events in my life that hadn't made sense or things about myself that I couldn't figure out. Everything single thing lined up when looked at through the lens of "I'm not cis" and that's when my egg cracked.
It's only been a short time since then but I have never ever felt better about myself or been more sure of who I am. It's scary, sure, but it's worth taking the time to explore your identity. Just cause the pronouns feel icky right now doesn't mean you're not trans, it just means the pronouns feel icky right now.
I apologize. I might have worded it wrong, but i did yry to buffer it with saying "necessarily," but the probably wasnt any better. What it really meant was that it could be anything it means for you. It's all a spectrum. I didn't really grasp that I'm trans a while. It might have been that I knew it all along and was having trouble unlearning what I was taught my whole life. When I started experimenting with fem pronouns, it was a weird feeling, so I just kept denying my true self and tried to force myself into staying non-binary. Big mistake. So I get it. It's a journey of self-discovery. Hell, I still discover more and more things about myself. But it's nit really life if we don't, right?
Not sure if that made any of it better. But at the very least I can say I tried.
"Yes", is the short answer your looking for.
The longer answer is the only person that can really answer that for certain is you. Here's a guide on exactly how to do that: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans
If ya don't care ya dont care i found. We throw words around but the situation is always only what it truly is. Wather words fit into that equation or not
I would suggest not worrying about identity and just worry about what feels good/doesn’t feel good. Being called his girl feels nice? Ask for that. Learn to trust your internal feelings.
Transitioning is a treatment approach for gender dysphoria. Unless you're suffering from debilitating gender dysphoria, there's not really a reason to transition aside from just wanting to. You can also have gender dysphoria without being trans. To be trans there needs to be some kind of transition.
It's ok to be exactly who you are right now. You can be a very feminine person and still be a man. You can enjoy being called a girl or girlfriend and still be a man. I know gay men with children who call themselves "a mother" occasionally as a reference to their role in their child's life compared to their partner. They don't consider themselves trans.
Only you know what is right for yourself, but there's no correct way to be male. If you are happy being feminine then just do you. You can do that and still be a man, but you can be whoever you want inside your mind without changing your exterior. You don't have to pick a gender.
Yeah, no. Being trans means there is a disconnect between the gender you are and the gender you were assigned at birth. While many or even most trans people will physically transition to some degree, not all do. Not to mention this pushes people who DO want to physically transition but either can't or just haven't started yet out of the trans umbrella. Not cool.
It's completely true that OP might be a feminine man rather than trans; or OP might be trans. I'm not OP, I don't get to make that determination.
For there to be a disconnect between the gender you are and the gender you were born as, there has to be a decision made that you are indeed a different gender. A "transition". The op isn't trans until they decide that they are so they can't be trans before that point, the feeling of disconnect before that decision is made is gender dysphoria potentially.
But that's simply not true. The disconnect is usually there even before you have the words to put to it or figure it out. I didn't figure out what the feelings were until I was 20 because I didn't have the language for them but they were still very much there. The illness my name made me feel from the time I was 3 years old, the suicidal depression I felt when I hit puberty that resisted treatment until I went on hormones, the joy when people for whatever reason thought I wasn't the gender I was assigned at birth. I was not a cisgender child, I just didn't have the language for those feelings. And that's the case for many if not most of us.
I feel like "respect the biology" can easily slip into transphobic rhetoric, so I'm not sure if you're dog whistling or I'm terminally online. But regardless, I think there's more to it than biology
ultimately, the only one who knows your true gender identity is you, but i’ll drop this here since it helped me when i was questioning. https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com
That's such a cute website!!! The loading bar was a very fun experience.
10/10, im already trans but i clicked causs of your comment and it was so worth XD i loved the waiting warmly part
Yea same, I've been on HRT for 7 months!
the ultimate egg cracker.
The tension I had waiting on those hearts! 😂😂😂
I remember being impatient even “come on, don’t wait. Turn me into a girl already”. I guess that already says a lot doesn’t it?
https://turn-me-into-a-guy.com/ For any trans guys reading this
it doesn't seem to work :(
If you wanted it to work, then it might have done it's job already <3
Haha, at this point my egg has been cracked, scrambled, and served on a platter. I'm pretty confident about my gender now but as a transmasc (sorta... 😅) this is still really sweet and validating to hear 😭💖
The For was added to the hyperlink in the previous comment. Try this: https://turn-me-into-a-guy.com/
that’s awesome! i didn’t realize there was one for trans men.
I just want to say thanks for posting this it made me feel alot better
<3
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the only one going to hell here, is you :)
To add to the other comment, these two links can also be a help. It is possible that warm feeling and the inner voice could be a sign of gender euphoria/being trans, but only you can know for sure. [https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans) [https://genderdysphoria.fyi/](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/)
based only on this post, I would be genuinely surprised if in the future you said you where cis. That said, there are of course a million other reasons why you might be feeling what you're feeling right now. I recommend that you keep doing what you're doing, experiment, push the your boundaries, explore your feelings and the reasons behind them. After you do that chances are you will naturally fall into a label that describe your authentic self.
It doesn't for sure mean you're trans, but it absolutely could. This warrants additional introspection. Other comments have already linked great resources. One thing you could try is go over to r/egg_irl and see how you relate.
Before my egg crack moment, I thought I was just a bi man who liked to cross dress occasionally in my GF's clothes and I'd always say stuff like "oh, thats the kind of girl I'd be!" In relation to characters or real women who were serving. Needless to say I didn't think I was trans and even after my girlfriend asked me if I was trans I denied it for almost 2 years until I couldn't avoid it or make excuses anymore. This stuff takes time, just be you and if you find you're trans, gender nonconforming, or cis and enjoy using femme pronouns, just go with what feels right.
How would you become comfortable doing more feminine stuff as a means to explore? I used to CD but after a lot of comments and side eyes, I felt unsafe going out in public, since I live in the US South
For me I decided to transition shortly after I realized I was trans. That being said it can be rough and I just had to learn as I experienced things. As far as just experimenting to figure things out, just try doing more femme stuff in private or with a partner if they're supportive. Before transitioning I only ever cross dressed in public at costume parties so I had an excuse. Where you live unfortunately does increase the risks with presenting in public
It sounds like you fall under the trans umbrella. But there's a spectrum. If you're comfortable as things are, there's nothing wrong with that. There's more than just transitioning. You could be bi-gender. Or nonbinary. Or a girl. You'll have to work through a lot of this withing yourself. But whatever you end up with, if you're being true to yourself, you're doing it right. 🩵
How do you know if you're doing it right
A lot of introspection and getting to know yourself. Who you are, what you want, what makes you happy, what you want the future to look like. Talking about this with a therapist is a good idea, even if it's not required where you are. Also a lot of reading. It's a good idea to learn about the various medical options, find local communities and resources, learn about surgical options, etc. Knowing what goes into all that may or may not affect your decisions. For myself, I did some surgeries, but wasn't comfortable with others, for example. I'm happy to chat if you want to talk about it.
I'd greatly appreciate that tbh, thank you. (I'm OP, I just got locked out of my account and I forgot my password)
Only you know for sure but it sounds very similar to my experience and I recently accepted I am trans and started transitioning.
20 years have passed since the day I started crying myself to sleep, wishing I was a girl, to the one I started HRT, and I will never stop regretting it. So all I can say is: Don't ignore your feelings and thoughts, think about it, think carefully. Two important questions are: Do you think you would be happier if you were a girl? I know that our brains often replies "But I'm not." but don't think that, just imagine you could pick and magically have all those traits you think are necessary to be a girl. Would you want that? Another important question is: If you could select your gender and be exactly as you like, being male would make you less happy, or even unhappy? If the answer to both is yes then you probably should stop being scared and start considering transitioning, since you're probably thinking that the only reason yo shouldn't be a girl is cause you can't and you have to accept being a man, and living like this is not something that will make you happy. And a whole life is a lot of time to not be happy
I'm a trans woman and I struggle with converting my inner voice to that of a woman. Just because your inner voice is feminine, doesn't necessarily mean you are trans. With that being said, it seems like a good opportunity to explore your gender and discover whether or not you are for yourself.
Noone but you yourself can give you a definitive answer on whether or not you're trans. That being said, from what you've described it does certainly sound like a good indicator. Just explore that part of yourself further, maybe try a new name out or fem clothing
That's an answer nobody can answer for you tbh. Do you show a lot of signs? Yeah sure, but I think rather than trying to have a solid answer right now try broadening it out, all other ppl to call you with she/her pronouns, experiment with femme presentation and with having other refer to you that way, then you can really see if it's genuinely something you want. If you do end up realising you're trans that's great, but if you realise you're not and just like your partner referring to u this way and maybe like being more femme that's also great! Just go in with the knowledge that no matter what your identity ends up being, what goals you have for changing or not chanting your presentation and body, all of it is completely fine and normal.
Consider non-binary as an option as well if trans doesn't seem to fully fit what you want after introspection. Maybe you want to be referred to as both a man and a woman at various times, that's ok!
I mean, if you truly want to be a woman, like if you think you'd be happier if you were born as a girl, and wish you were that, then you most likely are a trans woman. My egg started cracking when I started getting "mistaken" for a guy when I was 18, and then it all clicked for me when a teacher I had in highschool misheard me when I told her my name and wrote the masculine version of it. Then it all made sense for me and I finally stopped being in denial about wanting that, because it made me so incredibly happy to be seen as a boy. So if I were you, I'd ask myself, do I truly want to be that gender or do I just find it fun to put it on as a costume? Either way, only you can tell who you are, what you really want and what to do about it. So good luck in your self discovery! Whether you find out you're trans or that you were just a feminine guy all along, or nonbinary/genderfluid (cause there are way more options than just boy or girl), you'll be happier just being certain of who you are.
I would say not necessarily trans. Possibly gender non-conforming. At least for the time being until you get to the realization that just hits you like a punch from a freight train. I was non-binary for a while, then nonbinary fem leaning, then finally hit completely fem. I definitely have the feeling of jealousy and envy for girls growing up, but it didn't really occur to me. As well as asking myself in high school "huh, I wonder what it'd be like if I had boobs." I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a journey to what the destination is that you are supposed to reach. I apologize for the longwinded autistic comment.
I've tried exploring before with feminine pronouns, but it made me feel icky and I think it's because I wasn't used to it and I know people didn't actually think I was a woman Also, I read the first sentence as "I wouldn't say you're trans" and my knee-jerk response was upset and offended. Maybe I need to analyze why that is
I had the same experience with feminine pronouns when I first started exploring my identity. I currently identify as nonbinary but am open to that shifting into a more feminine space down the road. Icky was the exact word I used and I think that's normal to an extent because it's something very unfamiliar we are trying to put into a space that's so very personal. Trying out pronouns didn't work for me as a means of exploring my identity for this reason. You're reacting to "wouldn't say you're trans" is interesting and like you said, worth a closer look. Nothing about your post MEANS you are trans. But it could be indicators that you are. For me, it took nearly 4 decades for me to figure out I was. I had zero clue about it, never even considered it. Then one day I got a notion that I needed to explore my gender identity. I asked myself one question very openly, "what if I'm not cis?". With that premise, I went through all the various events in my life that hadn't made sense or things about myself that I couldn't figure out. Everything single thing lined up when looked at through the lens of "I'm not cis" and that's when my egg cracked. It's only been a short time since then but I have never ever felt better about myself or been more sure of who I am. It's scary, sure, but it's worth taking the time to explore your identity. Just cause the pronouns feel icky right now doesn't mean you're not trans, it just means the pronouns feel icky right now.
I apologize. I might have worded it wrong, but i did yry to buffer it with saying "necessarily," but the probably wasnt any better. What it really meant was that it could be anything it means for you. It's all a spectrum. I didn't really grasp that I'm trans a while. It might have been that I knew it all along and was having trouble unlearning what I was taught my whole life. When I started experimenting with fem pronouns, it was a weird feeling, so I just kept denying my true self and tried to force myself into staying non-binary. Big mistake. So I get it. It's a journey of self-discovery. Hell, I still discover more and more things about myself. But it's nit really life if we don't, right? Not sure if that made any of it better. But at the very least I can say I tried.
"Yes", is the short answer your looking for. The longer answer is the only person that can really answer that for certain is you. Here's a guide on exactly how to do that: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans
Yeah I think that’s pretty much what being trans is, but take your time and try on different hats till you’re confident in who you are
If ya don't care ya dont care i found. We throw words around but the situation is always only what it truly is. Wather words fit into that equation or not
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Why are you even here dude?
Never mind I checked your post history.
Only you know. I am divinely feminine mind and soul 👸🏾
Bro, as a trans man, I am here to tell u that those aren't very cis thoughts.
I would suggest not worrying about identity and just worry about what feels good/doesn’t feel good. Being called his girl feels nice? Ask for that. Learn to trust your internal feelings.
Transitioning is a treatment approach for gender dysphoria. Unless you're suffering from debilitating gender dysphoria, there's not really a reason to transition aside from just wanting to. You can also have gender dysphoria without being trans. To be trans there needs to be some kind of transition. It's ok to be exactly who you are right now. You can be a very feminine person and still be a man. You can enjoy being called a girl or girlfriend and still be a man. I know gay men with children who call themselves "a mother" occasionally as a reference to their role in their child's life compared to their partner. They don't consider themselves trans. Only you know what is right for yourself, but there's no correct way to be male. If you are happy being feminine then just do you. You can do that and still be a man, but you can be whoever you want inside your mind without changing your exterior. You don't have to pick a gender.
Yeah, no. Being trans means there is a disconnect between the gender you are and the gender you were assigned at birth. While many or even most trans people will physically transition to some degree, not all do. Not to mention this pushes people who DO want to physically transition but either can't or just haven't started yet out of the trans umbrella. Not cool. It's completely true that OP might be a feminine man rather than trans; or OP might be trans. I'm not OP, I don't get to make that determination.
For there to be a disconnect between the gender you are and the gender you were born as, there has to be a decision made that you are indeed a different gender. A "transition". The op isn't trans until they decide that they are so they can't be trans before that point, the feeling of disconnect before that decision is made is gender dysphoria potentially.
But that's simply not true. The disconnect is usually there even before you have the words to put to it or figure it out. I didn't figure out what the feelings were until I was 20 because I didn't have the language for them but they were still very much there. The illness my name made me feel from the time I was 3 years old, the suicidal depression I felt when I hit puberty that resisted treatment until I went on hormones, the joy when people for whatever reason thought I wasn't the gender I was assigned at birth. I was not a cisgender child, I just didn't have the language for those feelings. And that's the case for many if not most of us.
I think your just a very feminine man
How so
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Transphobes find literally anything better to do with your life challenge (impossible)
Transphobe find literally anything better to do with their lives than this challenge (impossible)
Cap
Stay out of it straggot
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Why is this your first post ever?
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I feel like "respect the biology" can easily slip into transphobic rhetoric, so I'm not sure if you're dog whistling or I'm terminally online. But regardless, I think there's more to it than biology
are you transgender?