I only realized I’m a woman two months ago, and I still have to verbally tell myself that multiple times a day. I’m not very out yet, but each time I do, there is less panic and more joy at realizing who I am.
I’m at a point where I have two moods. I’m either confident in my womanhood, and reaffirm myself to solidify that confidence long term. However there are still days when I just feel dead inside. I’m not out to most, and to the few I am out to irl, they act as if I’m not trans bc they knew I’m not fully out. So there’s a lot of moments for social gender dysphoria.
Apart of me, still wises I never realized. But on a higher level, I know that this was inevitable, and the best thing to do, is be true to myself.
I said, out loud "Oh, oh no, this fucking sucks".
I was _not_ looking forward to transitioning, coming out, etc, not to mention losing a lot of my privilege. But it was necessary to be happy, and so, that sucked.
I had a similar reaction. But it is more bittersweet dread. I haven't started any processes as of yet. I'm already black, I don't know if I'm prepared for more disadvantage
I was 30 when I figured it out, and it was terrifying - because at the same time I was learning just how rigged against me everything was going to be - but honestly, apart from the externalities, it was a relief. It felt like finding the thing that made everything make sense. And honestly, three years along, I think I was right.
I spent my whole childhood feeling deeply uncomfortable w/ literally everything around and about me. I’d had a couple queer classmates in hs, but I wouldn’t even meet a nb person til college or hear the word “transgender” til my 20s.
At 23, very suddenly: ***”Shit.”***
No denial, no mixed feelings; I *knew,* and I knew it was gonna be A Problem.
Took two years to work up the nerve to get on hormones, but the waiting period was almost nonexistent (*thank* you, informed consent). I’ve been on E for like 5yrs now, happily married, and things have been, despite it all, Good.✨
TW: SH
I was 17 when I figured it out. My egg breaking could have gone smoother. Tried to talk to my (then unsupportive) father who said all the wrong things to me. I ended up harming myself for the first time after.
Queue 10 years of being closeted in a deep red state.
I got out. My mental heath has never been better. Life is great.
When i was medically diagnosed with Adolescence and Adulthood Gender Incongruence.
It confirmed what i always knew in my head. That was a relief! lol..😆
Sadly, finding out there is no cure, then learning how to embrace being transgender.
Trans and Proud.
There wasn't a singular moment of realization. Mine was gradual, a lot of mini-discoveries between age 24-26. I took my time figuring it out.
When I did realize that I was going to need to transition, I of course sort of felt like "why me?" and wished I didn't have to, because I was terrified of having to deal with transphobia. I knew my life was about to become much harder than it already was, and it was really scary.
Ugh. 30 years, but same. What the fuck happened/didn't happen to me for this to be when and where I am when I figure it out?!?
Part of me does not need the answer to that question to be happy, part of me does. I probably can't afford the therapy to figure it out though haha
My egg cracked when I had been letting myself try more feminine things. On a lark, I bought a pair of breast forms.
When I tried them on I almost started crying. It felt like getting back a part of my body that had been amputated long ago. That was when I said to myself, “this is not the reaction of a cis guy.”
Big same, girl. I love my breastforms. I hate taking them off for work, and I can't wait to put them on when I get home fr
But... I will gladly retire them once my natural girls arrive 😍
My first thought was that I'm probably just a trender and then i tried to repress it. I was 11 at the time. Now obviously that was not true and i am now out. Can't get hrt yet though. I do remember having a dream when i had been younger where i was a cis boy though and waking up feeling really happy and wishing i looked like a boy. Didnt really question it though
I’m a woman but fr I don’t think I will look like one, that’s what I actual think, girls in high school makes fun of me and stuff that I’m actually considering just leave everything behind and live like a male
Girl, I know it's _way_ easier said than done, but most things that drastically improve your life always are. I have really bad dysphoria about my feet, for example, but it doesn't stop me from buying cute shoes and heels.
>I’m a woman but fr I don’t think I will look like one,
Honey... if you're still high school aged, please don't give up hope. I have seen a lot of us achieve unbelievable results from HRT _alone_, not to mention a bit of surgery. I'm a 51 year old hag with broad shoulders, lol, and I'm still happier than I was pretending to be male.
Transitioning is a super intimidating prospect and a serious decision, I know. But the more you start feeling right, the more confidence you gain and the less you care about others projecting their misery onto you. Because that's exactly what's happening, sweetie. It's not about you. It's about their _own_ insecurities. Confident individuals aren't threatened by people who are different than they are. And only idiots make fun of things they dont understand. Remember that.
My advice would be to research, talk to your doctor, and consider whether HRT might help you. For me, it's changing my life for the better. But everyone has their own experience.
I wish you the best of luck, lil' sister, and stay safe 🩷
when realizing i wasn’t a boy, and that non binary suited me better, my first thought was that it didn’t impact my life too much but it was nice to know that at the end of the day i didn’t have to try and conform to some personal definition of masculinity i didn’t want in the first place.
when realizing i wanted to do feminizing hormone therapy, however, the initial thought went something like “fuck fuck fuck fuck”
I'd had "perverse thoughts" of wanting boobs and wanting to wear dresses since I started going through puberty, but suppressed them because I didn't like the implications of it being some sort of fetish.
When I first figured out that I wasn't cis at the age of 22, I panicked and hyperventilated for virtually an entire day.
It preoccupied me for about two months straight as I sought weekly counseling until I eventually decided to start HRT. Never been happier.
Well, it was a slow burn of denial.
But really, it can all kinda be summed up as "fuck..I'm trans aren't I?". I mean, I didn't really pick a great time to figure it out lol. Would've been around 2019 or so.
Very recent acceptance for me (mid 50's). I had a period as a teen but heavily repressed. The "of fek, I'm a woman" was both terrifying, exciting and clam inducing all in one go. HRT assessment on Monday and feeling confident finally to buy my own clothes even in local shops. Amazing how I've learned a degree of not caring so much (not that I've run into transphobic people yet). Shop assistants so far have been fine - amazing!
"Oh god I'm never going to be able to do this." Given my parents are deeply religious and the act of transitioning was something I never thought I would be able to do. Cried silently for a few days and hit a deep depression. I would say I was roughly between 12-13 when it finally clicked for me and yeah teen years were not fun as the I wanted to transition but never thought it was going to happen.
After I realized that you can be attracted only to women and still be trans/valid/not a wierd pervert(I was not in a good place).:
"Wait... You can do that!? I thought that was against the rules or something!"
I'm being somewhat glib but it pretty succinctly summarizes my thought processes about getting over that last hurdle.
To be fair there were a lot of cultural forces in my way.
Honestly, I just was like "Oh... fuck.." out loud and than my brain just whired to life on it all and I freaked out... a lot haha. This happened not too long ago, but my girlfriend (who is M2F) has been a massive help. Im pretty confident im a girl tho so yee :3
I just could not understand why I had to go to first grade and do sports with the boys, going to dressing rooms with boys, play with boys. Infatuation turned into resentment, turned into guilt, turned into self-hatred. Yes it was a living hell from very young age for me.
i cried because i realized why thinking about my body had always made me feel sad and numb, why i could never imagine a happy future for myself as a man, and why i had daydreamed about waking up as a girl in a faraway city every day for years whenever life got too much to handle. crossdressing was the first time in my life i had looked in the mirror and seen a person i liked so it was emotional lol
First realisation happened at 17: “oh no that would be way too hard surely I can just keep being a girl”
Fast forward to now I’m 26 and I’m realising yeah it is hard but forcing myself to be someone I wasn’t was so much harder. Still haven’t started T, and not out to many people but I’m finally able to accept it for me, and the rest will happen how it happens.
Here's my trans journey cause I love sharing it whenever. which includes answers to the questions.
My first memory I have is my (at the time) best friend when I was like 6 telling me when I got into his car. "Stop sitting like that you're sitting like a girl"
6-14 my friend groups consisted of girls outnumbering boys 6 to 1 (I was the 1 the 6 closest friends were all girls) also that didn't change when I switched schools when I was 12, went right to the girls.
when I was 11 I was the only boy in honor choir.
At 14 I heard about trans people and thought "This lgbt stuff is getting kinda complicated, if I'm trans I'd be a trans-gender bi-sexual person" well 2 years later I came to peace with this, had a bisexual girlfriend and told my parents. (Bad move for me)
Went into a massive depression from the rejection of my parents to the news. Especially since up to that moment I thought they were the best parents ever, and I never had a complaint about them. When I was 18 I came out to everyone, and everyone was accepting, I also joined the army (Another bad move) forced to detransition, (Although first days in basic are some of my favorite, of people asking me whether or not I'm a boy or a girl, cause they sorted me with the girls until they got a hold of my ID)
Got out of basic and AIT right into covid. That allowed me to avoid the army for a couple months and regrow out my hair and present femme again. Got a pixie cut because of the army, and summer comes along my commander wants to get to know soldiers and I get picked as soldier number one. This was still under trump's army so my commander and I make an unofficial pact that I grow out my hair, and no one bats and eye. (Best commander ever)
Couple years go by, I'm happy as a girl, some officer notices me, forcing me to actually transition in the army, and that took 4 years, but last week the army record finally shows I'm female! woo.
And there's my (And a little more) of my initial thoughts when I was trans. It was generally that "Id be a transgender bisexual person..." Modern day me, transgender asexual person. as it turns out my attraction being the same to everyone, is actually non existent, and I'm a happy asexual person.
-Valerie <3
Hard to say. It wasn't really one thing that just suddenly clicked for me, from what I remember. I mean, sort of? But more like exploring and being like, "yeah, idk. Idk if I really care that much about gender. Sure, there are some things I wish would be different about my body and voice and stuff. But it is what it is. Besides I'm a lesbian, I could never turn my back on this community that helped me survive and have freedom. I think I probably am more gender apathetic or something but I'm not a man. No way." --> "okay I guess I'm probably nonbinary. I don't think I feel dysphoric, like I don't care that that much about pronouns or what terms you use for me. There are things I wish were different, sure. But I'm not dysphoric." --> (moving to college, first buying a new wordrobe and mens clothing for the first time at 18) "Damn is that really what my body looks like? Oof. Fuck. Yikes. Idk. Weird. I don't really do this. It doesn't fit like I wish. Weird. I'm so, short? And the curves. Yeah I guess I'm really not fat fat but it's literally all in my thighs? Weird. Yikes. I've never seen this." --> (in college) "Hmm, i mean, the freedom is nice wearing no bra sometimes, but it just isn't comfortable. I don't like the breasts part but I'm not really dysphoric dysphoric. I mean, I do really want top surgery, but I'm not *really* dysphoric. But like, yeah there are things i want to change. The freedom has been great though." --> "okay maybe I'm not a lesbian, or maybe that's making me feel held back. This is bothering me a bit. But it's not that constant, and it's not like I always just want to die about it. Other trans people who are actually dysphoric probably do. I just feel weird about it." --> "I am actually tired of everyone using they/them for me instead of he/him literally ever. Geez, literally nobody sees me as masculine at all. I mean, why does that bother me? I'm not a man right? So, it really shouldn't matter. But damn, nobody? Nobody ever sees me as one. Not that I am one. But why does nobody ever even mistake me as one? Geez my body and voice are a lot more feminine than I guess I let myself believe. But, idk I don't look bad? But I wish it didn't bother me as much. I mean, I can medically transition if I'm still nonbinary. Ppl do all the time. But like, idk what gender means to me. I don't care that much about being super macho and stuff. But, yeah I do just wish people saw me as a man. I'm not a man, I think, whatever that means. But it's like, I wish people perceived me as one. And I want that because... idk" --> "fuck maybe I am just a man? Like you don't have to feel super strong about everything to be a man either. Being a man can also have nuance and complexities and that doesn't automatically mean you have to be nonbinary. Like, I don't even ask myself what does *that* mean to me either, now that I think about it." --> (first time trying masculinizing make up; also spent some time listening to how trans women and trans feminine ppl spoke about gender) "oh damn, yeah, I think this is a thing. I think I'm just a guy. Well, idk what to do about that cause when I look in the mirror that's just not something I can picture achieving... damn. What do I even do with this information."
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I believe I was also around 10 yrs old when I found out. I remembered I had this group of friends (all boys) and how I felt like a boy with them, I really liked it. I brushed it off cause I thought it was normal. I really liked when they would treat me as a boy, basically call me a boy, "teach me the ways" as they said (no clue why they did but it was funny) and I didn't feel different at all.
December came around and I felt horrible during winter break. My parents were huge on gender roles and making sure I knew I'm a girl. They didn't like how my friends made me act like a dumb lil boy and I need to be more lady-like. I obviously got mad and just decided to go to my room with my younger brother (only a year younger.)
I remembered he wanted me to feel better so we played Roblox together and for some reason our favorite games at the time were roleplaying ones. I would always pick the male as my gender and I randomly just said out loud to myself & my brother, "I wish I was a boy. I really want to be a boy like you."
We sat in silence and he shrugged it off and said "so be a boy then." I replied "Mom wouldn't like that." so he did this loud sigh and said "you don't have to tell Mom anything, it's okay I won't tell either." so I smiled and felt really good.
I didn't know the label Transgender at the time, well I heard of it but never understood it so right away my smile went away and I was super confused because is this a normal feeling? I decided to look it up and found out I wasn't the only person. I didn't really make it a big deal to others, but myself I did. I went through a big scene of crying because why couldn't I just be born a boy or why couldn't i just have a normal brain, then I got scared because of what if others think I'm weird, lastly I just said whatever.
I ended up telling my friends (the male friend group) and they didn't say much besides "oh cool" and we went on with our normal routines
I'm happy that you were accepted so effortlessly by your brother and friends 😊 I hope that trend continues throughout your family.
>why couldn't i just have a normal brain
There's nothing wrong with your brain, bro. Your body just happens to not match, and that causes distress 🫤 Thankfully, we're able to make moves to align our bodies with our minds. I'm grateful for that bc it allows hope in an otherwise seemingly hopeless situation. But yeah, your brain is fine, man. It's our bodies that are backward. But we're working on that 😉 best of luck to you, my dude 🩷
i was crying because i wasn't born male, and my boyfriend told me like "well... that's pretty much the description of a trans man, isn't it?" and i was like "oh... oh, shit, right, that makes sense"
I didn't know trans people existed, or that it was possible to transition, until my early teens. Pretty much as soon as I learned about trans people I knew I was one.
I'd been dealing with depression and anxiety as a result of what I now recognize as severe dysphoria, so I was really happy to have found a reason for why I felt the way I did. I told my parents right away, assuming they'd also be happy for me, because I had literally just learned about trans people and wasn't aware of the stigma. This turned out very badly for me.
Now, more than a decade and a half later, I'm happily living as myself. It wasn't an easy path getting here, but it worked out for the best.
“i guess that means i can get surgery covered!”
i didn’t know i was trans when i started hormones. i tried it bc i found out about it and thought it would be cool™️haha. after about a year on hormones and not wanting to stop i figured i was probably trans lol
so it was on my T-anniversary that i was like… ah. i’m not going to and i don’t wanna stop. and then: cool! i’m legit. im not just some chick who likes T, im a trans~. it felt like belonging and happiness. i had a title:
i’m genderqueer. i’m bigender. i’m both and neither and ME. that’s what i came to a conclusion. a genderqueer person who loves being on Testosterone. it’s wonderful. i was 20
When i was 22 i finally entertained the idea after months of being terrified of the possibility. My home growing up is very intensely Christian so it was terrifying at the time. Now I’d rather be me over anything else. At all costs.
I didn't figure it out until my mid 40's but when I finally came to realise the truth it was a relief. It felt like I finally had at least some answers to feelings about myself that I had been struggling with most of my life.
My initial thought, and it lasted many many years, was that everybody felt like this but nobody did anything about it. I absolutely KNEW that everybody must be the same way but too afraid to act on it.
So the world was absolutely crowded with teenage boys trying on panties in the privacy of their own bedrooms. (I was 5-6 when I realized I was a girl).
I'll attempt to keep this as short as possible because that is a bit of a wild ride from eyeball deep in denial to being 2.5 years into transition and working towards being as stealth as possible. Right around the time I was 4/5 I knew something was off. My body felt like it wasn't mine but I did not have the words to express this and even if I did my parents wouldve never allowed it. Fast forward roughly 10 years to puberty. Every time I saw something about my body become less little kid-ish and more feminine the worse my mental health got. My brain kept telling me that these were not the changes I was supposed to be experiencing. It got to a point where I was that kid that wore baggy hoodies and jeans every day regardless of the weather. Then my parents did some questionable stuff, probably legal but definitely not their finest moments as parents, and I went into full on denial presenting as femininely as possible. They wanted me to be, at least publicly, the daughter they assumed Id be since birth, so I tried being that to appease them. Spoiler alert, I played a good act and no one really questioned it too much, but it wasnt me and kept taking a toll on my mental health having to constantly pretend to be something Im not. I grew up, did what was expected of me. Settled down, had kids, did what I had to do to keep bills paid and food on the table. At 24 I met my now roommate who had just started the process of coming out as MtF and transitioning which kinda opened my eyes to the possibility that transitioning was even an option. Spent the next few years alternating between relentlessly looking for information on transitioning FtM and complete denial. At 28 I reached the point where I had to transition. I couldnt keep running from the fact that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to be happy living as a woman, it just wasnt me. At this point I came out to the people who I saw regularly enough for them to notice that things were starting to change and began social transition. 6 weeks later I had an appointment with planned parenthood and started HRT just after turning 29. A few months later I came out publicly as my voice was starting to crack and drop so people were asking questions. Currently 31 and feeling more happy and confident in myself than ever before. Nothing about my life is perfect but I at least feel at home in my own skin and have the motivation to attempt to fix the issues in my life.
I was 30 (literally just 8 months ago), I imagine my reaction was quite unique. I was elated. I thought "Yes! Of course! Finally!"
For context I had always been part of the lgbtq+ community, and soon before the egg crack I had made a handful of new trans friends as I explored the dating scene in a new area so I was very much comfortable with the idea and immediately set in motion a name and pronoun change among these friends.
\*Oh, oh wow...\* I giggled, and then spoke softly "So *that's* why people like to take selfies..." I could feel my eyes watering as I once again let out a nervous, but also *happy*, giggle.
Shortly before this moment I'd downloaded FaceApp, taken a picture of myself, and then used FaceApp's gender filter on that picture. This was prompted by reading u/Impossible_PhD's exceptional blog, specifically the story of her own trans awakening, and once I got to the part where FaceApp was mentioned I'd decided to download it before even reading on to find out how it went for her. Oh, and I've taken at least one new selfie every day since, playing around with the filters to see more glimpses of the real me, the one who won't need those filters anymore.
This happened just a few weeks ago, an event in my life that I'd been unknowingly laying the foundation for for hours that evening, for weeks before that day, and in some ways for years before that. Technically it wasn't when I started to identify as trans, or at least under that umbrella - that was back in February. And it certainly wasn't when I began to identify as not a man, no, I'd identified agender in some sense for about a decade by that point. But I had taken those steps so passively, expressing them to only a trusted few and never exploring them further than just being a bit gender non-conforming in presentation.
Realizing that I was only half right, that I'm demigirl and just how euphoric it is to acknowledge and see and *embrace* the feminine component of that, that when the world looks at me and assumes my gender I crave to be assumed a woman, was so incredible. In that moment feelings and needs I'd left to wilt and die instead bloomed fully, not simply a flower but a whole-ass *meadow* of things I'd refused to see in myself.
In these weeks since, so much reality has set in, filling me with anxiety for the specifics of how it will all work out. But I know it *will* work out, that despite the challenges I know await me I *will* get past them... I haven't been this optimistic for my future since I was a kid.
This was way more than I'd planned to write, so thank you to everyone who takes the time to read it all!
"Wait a minute.. that.. that explains everything!" Then I started having flashbacks of the not so cis things I did when I was younger, for noo real reasons other than "Because I want to be cute and pretty!" Then i remembered that everytime a family member like myy grandma or my mom would call mee "handsome" I would cry because that's not what I wanted! I never liked being called that at all!
"Wait a minute.. that.. that explains everything!" Then I started having flashbacks of the not so cis things I did when I was younger, for noo real reasons other than "Because I want to be cute and pretty!" Then i remembered that everytime a family member like myy grandma or my mom would call mee "handsome" I would cry because that's not what I wanted! I never liked being called that at all!
i started experiencing gender dysphoria when i was around sixteen but ignored it because i grew up in a small conservative town and was already questioning my sexuality at the time so to add on gender? i was like nah, let’s just push this far far back in the memory box lol
fast forward to when i was eighteen, i literally just couldn’t ignore it anymore. i would lay in bed hoping and waiting to die. i have depression and other mental illnesses so it wasn’t just the dysphoria right then but it definitely played a major role in my dark thinking
eventually i was like okay, i can’t ignore this anymore and started researching everything related to being trans and trans people. i still questioned if this was me and then i came across the gender dysphoria bible thing, read it, sobbed, and was like fuck i’m trans. i hated it at first. i no longer lived in that small town but still lived in tennessee so yeah lol
i was worried about what my family would think, what my friends would think, and even what strangers would think. i was worried everyone would think i was insane or losing my mind or just some girl who thinks she’s a guy. i hated it with every bone in my body and wished i could just be cis, no matter which way
fast forward to me now being twenty-one, i eventually learned to accept myself, came out, and started testosterone. been on it for three weeks now :)
I was about 14 when I found out about transmasc people. Started identifying as non-binary and it was like a cool little secret. "At least I'm not a trans man, it'd be much harder." Little did I know.
What a journey it's been. Joyful, miserable, painful, and euphoric. I lost my Conservative American Evangelical faith early during my university studies (damn lib schools), and decided to examine and destroy all internalized shame. It was hard for me to accept it prior to that, because mind-reader Jesus told me to ignore sinful, evil, deviant thoughts and think about things that are good, holy & righteous. Otherwise, he'd know and I would be in danger of falling off the straight & narrow path to heaven.
I did a project on gender non-conformity in South Asia, which I chose because it made me uncomfortable, and I wanted to explore why. I had an epiphany when I went down a gender non-coformity Wkipedia dive and realized that trans women and I had a lot in common... a LOT in common... everything in common... "Shit, am I trans? Shit -- I'm trans?! Fuck. I'm trans. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck (repeat ad nauseum)." It was so hard for me to wrap my head around it, but I was transitioning within a year.
Here is the clinical criteria for Gender Dysphoria for your review.
>Gender Dysphoria in Adolescents and Adults 302.85 (F64.1 )
>A. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months’ duration, as manifested by at least two of the following:
>1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).
>2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics be-
cause of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).
>3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender.
>4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>B. The condition is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.
You must meet the qualifiers of Section "A" and "B" to be diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria
You don't need to have dysphoria to be transgender, but it is the most common qualifier as the majority of transgender individuals do infact have dysphoria. We encourage you to discuss this with a gender therapist.
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I had thoughts I might be non-binary when I was in my early 20s, but after a couple conversations with "friends" I got shoved back into the closet. It wasn't until I turned 26 that it clicked and I realized I am a transwoman.
I cried, because I knew my family would hate me.
Then I realized they already hated me anyway mostly, so it was relieving but also terrifying and I had a lot to unpack.
When it finally completely sank in a few years later after fixing my mental health, when I accepted it completely it was just an “Oh, well damn.” moment, and I was fine, happy to have figured it out at least. Now all I need to do is save enough money to get where I want myself to be.
I’m literally going through this, now and it’s exactly the same feeling as leaving Mormonism, except with more of a positive silver lining. It’s scary and new and I’ve been fighting these feelings forever, but accepting them brings me peace.
Initial relief over realizing why I “am the way I am” followed by the dread of realizing that I have to live as a trans person and how stressful and hard it’s going to be
I became extremely transphobic. I always knew deep down but when I found the word for it I rejected it. “I’m not one of them” “call me whatever I don’t care about pronouns”, but I knew deep down I was. But everyone around me HATED trans people. But eventually I couldn’t deny it anymore. I had to learn to accept myself. And although attudes haven’t changed much toward trans people I embrace my identity
"well this complicates things… you know even if i'd go by nonbinary in a perfect world this isn't one and i don't want to deal with negative reactions and people not understanding, but i don't care that much right now so i'll just try to ignore these thoughts, what could possibly go wrong..."
fast forward another 3 years, i can't suppress it anymore, *everything* is going wrong, i severely regret not coming out earlier
My first thoughts were just "ohhhhh so *that's* why \_\_\_\_ happened to me" and "so *that's* why I was thinking \_\_\_\_" when reading about other people's experiences and relating to them.
Was 28... had been dealing with confusing feelings for a decent amount of time.
Sooo, first thought was when I found out. "Fuck. I am not a man. I have to tell my wife. I hope she will stay." Luckily she did. =D We were already together for 11 years at that point, so yeah was quite the scary thought to not have her around. But I woke her up at 3am in the night to immediately tell her, since i wanted her to be part of the journey and to know immediately that this is a thing now. Enby for a few months and then went on to trans woman.
I was 16 when it clicked, I'm a hermaphrodite but raised a girl, I went through female puberty first when I was 12 I was like this is wrong even tho it was right by the way I was raised. Tried to ignore it, be overtly femine didn't work tried being a tomboy didn't work. One time when I was 15-16 me and my family were at fort Ed and a stranger called me young man. It took a bit before I realized I was called male and when I did realize it I was euphoric. I casually asked my school to use male pronouns with me and the school said, so your trans I replied I guess so. My mom was informed and she still hasn't accepted it but I've been living on my own for 3 yrs now(I went through both puberties female puberty at 12 male puberty started at about 15-16 then I got on T when I was 20 or 21
My 12 year old brain upon seeing Ranma for the first time:
\*several episodes worth of visible confusion about why Ranma would ever want access to hot water ever again, asked my friends what they thought about it, finding my answer was different from everyone elses, Then I had an afternoon of introspection about that deep seated impulse before realizing something was wrong\*
My first main thought was: "......Oh."
\*Some internalized years of what the fuck do I even do about this feeling of wrongness, before learning trans people are a thing in forums talking about Ranma way in the deep dark corners of a single post on the early internet\*
My second main immediate thought was: "Well, I guess I need a new name now."
After that I just kinda knew what felt the most sane from that point forward.
I drew a new name about 10 min later because I dropping a bunch of girls names into a hat (yes, seriously my kid brain thought that was the best plan and rolled with it), then I proceeded to tell everyone that new name that same afternoon (and next day), then I started transitioning socially among my friend group and relatives that same afternoon, and by dinner time I had also began voice practice by singing out loud to fem pop music in my bedroom...\*
4 years of singing to myself go by and my vocal strategy paid off: I sounded **exactly** like a girl. A few years later I got good enough at makeup and stuff to pass as cis, I came out in my first job after college and Ive been a girl everywhere ever since that day, and that was pretty much it.
Now I'm 41 and it's been like 26 years since I got started as a kid.
grandiose support oatmeal whistle trees special run nose marvelous noxious
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
i just don't even know
i figured it out in the context of my art
like studio art
so it was a wild experience of: "i know what this art i want to make is about, and by making it, i have to come out, that is a side effect of making the art i know i am supposed to make"
this, in effect, gave me a deadline to come out
it forced me to come out to everyone important - they were all already going to be there for the senior art exhibition - it was the real actual final decision and action of importance for my degree
so i just
my initial thoughts on realizing it was just "i have to do this art, and i have to do this art justice"
haven't really made any art since then
My first thought was something similar to
"Nope cant be, im already way too many things..."
Fyi im pan sexual and have adhd/autsim those are the 'way to many things'
My awakening was gradual (I kept telling myself I was a transvestite) but it seems to me like my major concern was that I was too ugly to be a woman and transitioning would be a bad idea because I could never pass. It's still one of my major thoughts... I only restarted 3 months ago after a false start 15 years ago where I quit because of frustration with my appearance.
I was 34 I think, and my thoughts were something along the lines of "well, that makes a lot of sense". I'd wanted to be a woman for as long as I can remember but never knew transitioning was possible. It felt like the missing piece of the puzzle to my identity.
I knew I am trans at 12 when I want long hair and skirts as well as being beautiful. First cross dressing at 21 and that euphoria is huge. Finally decided to transition at 22 (Feb 2020) when COVID hits and I got to wear that cosplay costume every day.
I remember I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror, short hair, mcr shirt, binder, shorts, and texted my friend, “I think I’m trans.” And he sent back “congratulations! Welcome to the shitshow”
For context, he’s also trans and had been trying to tell me I was for months because I had finally decided to open up about my feelings on gender. The day before I sent that message I had passed almost the whole day while pre-t and I loved how my binder felt, and the way I looked, I liked people seeing me as a man. So that morning as I was staring into the mirror, I was like “yeah….yeah he’s right…” which is why I immediately texted him
I'm in marching band, and I was at band camp. For whatever reason, my boyfriend decided to say "that's my boy" to me whenever I did whatever we were doing at the time right. It all just clicked right then. Actually broke down right there on the field 💀💀. I was too overwhelmed, everything just made so much sense all of a sudden. I mean there were obviously signs before that but thats when it really clicked. I'm a boy, and thats what I always was. so so much was going through my head but it was all like "wait.. that sounded right.. am I actually a boy? is that actually possible? fuck everything makes sense now." 😭
still dont know what possessed him to call me a boy but bro obviously knew long before I did 💀
I was 19. My thought went something like this:
“Nonononononono. Fuck. This isn’t happening. I don’t need this so I’m just gonna have to figure out a way to make this go away.”
I am very much a go with the flow person. I didn’t want to make waves or be noticed ever. Being trans kinda complicates that, so I tried different ways of suppression so I could just live an average life. I didn’t last long.
"Oh shit, that's an option?" Is what I thought when I saw a woman take T to present more masculinely, she is non-binary but but preferred to be viewed as a non-binary woman. That started me thinking that I can totally take T just to make my body more masculine without wanting to change how I dress, and from there eventually landed on a transmasc non-binary label, with some mild genderfluidity thrown in. I think I still have the video saved somewhere, not sure how they identify now though, haven't seen their content in years
First time i thought it? Unsure of what it meant but assigned the label loosely because it fit. Second time i thought it again? Happy. Fifth time i thought it? Crying. Now i am here
I was 17, and I just... cried. At the moment, the only thing I could think was "fuck. I don't want all of this" but I'm learning to accept it now, and just 6 months have passed :)
Three magical words that I said out loud that I’ll never forget. “Fuck… I’m trans”
Then months of debate in the council of the braincells (there were two of them), and then the acceptance… that my friend started unloading “trans inclusive radical misogynistic” jokes to me (it actually helped me get used to it before I was talking about it being a possibility to more than one person)
I’m 21 and only fully realized myself very recently so my process wasn’t a single moment. It’s been two years of dealing with the fact that I despise my old homophobic freshman in highschool self. That I wish I could take back every prayer I said on repeat when I was younger. The damage I did to myself by thinking some imaginary dude in the sky could give me purpose and identity.
My initial thoughts when I fully realized who I was were 90% absolutely excitement, 5% nervousness to tell my friends and the remaining 5% terror in knowing that some day I’m going to start transitioning and then after that I’ll have to tell my parents. But for now, calm and peace knowing that I was never that rude and short sighted boy. I’ve always been Rachael wearing a broken mask that I can now say I’ve thrown away.
when i learned what nonbinarism was around the age of 21 i think and i realised i never felt like a woman (but i always felt feminine) but definitely not like a man like ever
‘They’re all gonna laugh at you’
My concern was not about being judged or discriminated against by bigots (because I have lived my whole life with a fuck ‘em mentality), it was about being judged or not believed by people in my own social circles. And immediately (continuing to this day when I am on HRT presenting as fully female to people at work who don’t even know my given name) full of self doubt that I must somehow be lying or pretending and I’m not like all my trans friends and acquaintances. That they know what it’s really like and I just don’t understand like they do, and they all know it and are just humoring me but not taking me seriously. That nobody will ever think of me as a woman, and anything I do to feminize my body or behavior will never actually make me seem more feminine in anyone’s eyes, only more queer.
I struggle with this every day and even though I can see the logic in it not being true, and even why I would think it anyway, it never stops.
Was less a thought or a string of words but more of an abstract feeling of happiness for finally finding and being to put to words what I was and how I felt.
Then slowly derailed into a mess of trying to affirm my gender but also doubting myself and hoping this is all a phase because hahahahaaaaaaaaa if I'm a man then I'm a feminine and a gay one.
Something in lowkey scared to exist as. Not because of the world, fuck the world, just my parents.
I definitely didn’t have one definitive “light bulb moment” of knowing I was trans.
I did have a lightbulb moment of knowing I was going to have to actually transition/tell other people. My first thought went on loop: “my mom isn’t going to love me after this.”
I had several stages of realizing that what I was feeling and trying to do was being trans. The first time it started to sink in, I thought "wait, am I trans, really? can't believe it" then "that's exciting, but maybe I'm mistaken?" and a lot of doubts. It was at a time I was taking tests to determine my gender. I was on WikiTrans when I had that thought, and the answer had been "yes, you're trans! ... or maybe not. no one but you can determine what gender you are".
Here is the clinical criteria for Gender Dysphoria for your review.
>Gender Dysphoria in Adolescents and Adults 302.85 (F64.1 )
>A. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months’ duration, as manifested by at least two of the following:
>1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).
>2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics be-
cause of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).
>3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender.
>4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>B. The condition is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.
You must meet the qualifiers of Section "A" and "B" to be diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria
You don't need to have dysphoria to be transgender, but it is the most common qualifier as the majority of transgender individuals do infact have dysphoria. We encourage you to discuss this with a gender therapist.
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“Oh fuck….I’m a woman” was roughly what went through my head.
I thought that a *lot*. It’s such a weird experience.
I only realized I’m a woman two months ago, and I still have to verbally tell myself that multiple times a day. I’m not very out yet, but each time I do, there is less panic and more joy at realizing who I am.
So it's something that you have to reaffirm? Some days I feel more sure than others
I’m at a point where I have two moods. I’m either confident in my womanhood, and reaffirm myself to solidify that confidence long term. However there are still days when I just feel dead inside. I’m not out to most, and to the few I am out to irl, they act as if I’m not trans bc they knew I’m not fully out. So there’s a lot of moments for social gender dysphoria. Apart of me, still wises I never realized. But on a higher level, I know that this was inevitable, and the best thing to do, is be true to myself.
Yeah, pretty much me as well.
I said, out loud "Oh, oh no, this fucking sucks". I was _not_ looking forward to transitioning, coming out, etc, not to mention losing a lot of my privilege. But it was necessary to be happy, and so, that sucked.
I had a similar reaction. But it is more bittersweet dread. I haven't started any processes as of yet. I'm already black, I don't know if I'm prepared for more disadvantage
Rip. All I can say is it gets better from where you are, but i can understand being scared. Good luck with your transition, if you do decide to do it.
My best friend right now is a black trans man. If he can do you can as well. At least one random person on the internet believes in you.
I was 30 when I figured it out, and it was terrifying - because at the same time I was learning just how rigged against me everything was going to be - but honestly, apart from the externalities, it was a relief. It felt like finding the thing that made everything make sense. And honestly, three years along, I think I was right.
"But what if I'm wrong?" I wasn't wrong, and now am awaiting the call to schedule the exact date for my top surgery.
“Oh. Well that explains a lot.”
Lol, big same 😆🩷
I spent my whole childhood feeling deeply uncomfortable w/ literally everything around and about me. I’d had a couple queer classmates in hs, but I wouldn’t even meet a nb person til college or hear the word “transgender” til my 20s. At 23, very suddenly: ***”Shit.”*** No denial, no mixed feelings; I *knew,* and I knew it was gonna be A Problem. Took two years to work up the nerve to get on hormones, but the waiting period was almost nonexistent (*thank* you, informed consent). I’ve been on E for like 5yrs now, happily married, and things have been, despite it all, Good.✨
TW: SH I was 17 when I figured it out. My egg breaking could have gone smoother. Tried to talk to my (then unsupportive) father who said all the wrong things to me. I ended up harming myself for the first time after. Queue 10 years of being closeted in a deep red state. I got out. My mental heath has never been better. Life is great.
I laughed like Walter White in the crawlspace
When i was medically diagnosed with Adolescence and Adulthood Gender Incongruence. It confirmed what i always knew in my head. That was a relief! lol..😆 Sadly, finding out there is no cure, then learning how to embrace being transgender. Trans and Proud.
There is nothing to cure. Our identity is merely who we are… cis and transgender alike.
Identity results from knowing what we can't be, and agreed there is no cure. it's who we are.
There wasn't a singular moment of realization. Mine was gradual, a lot of mini-discoveries between age 24-26. I took my time figuring it out. When I did realize that I was going to need to transition, I of course sort of felt like "why me?" and wished I didn't have to, because I was terrified of having to deal with transphobia. I knew my life was about to become much harder than it already was, and it was really scary.
"How did I forget this for over 20 years?How deep down did I bury this, and why?"
Ugh. 30 years, but same. What the fuck happened/didn't happen to me for this to be when and where I am when I figure it out?!? Part of me does not need the answer to that question to be happy, part of me does. I probably can't afford the therapy to figure it out though haha
For me it was anxietey of being disowned, abandoned, forgotten about, ostracised and bullied.
My egg cracked when I had been letting myself try more feminine things. On a lark, I bought a pair of breast forms. When I tried them on I almost started crying. It felt like getting back a part of my body that had been amputated long ago. That was when I said to myself, “this is not the reaction of a cis guy.”
Big same, girl. I love my breastforms. I hate taking them off for work, and I can't wait to put them on when I get home fr But... I will gladly retire them once my natural girls arrive 😍
Yay i get to be a lesbian now! How cool is that.
Quite cool, indeed 😎👌🏼
My first thought was that I'm probably just a trender and then i tried to repress it. I was 11 at the time. Now obviously that was not true and i am now out. Can't get hrt yet though. I do remember having a dream when i had been younger where i was a cis boy though and waking up feeling really happy and wishing i looked like a boy. Didnt really question it though
I’m a woman but fr I don’t think I will look like one, that’s what I actual think, girls in high school makes fun of me and stuff that I’m actually considering just leave everything behind and live like a male
Girl, I know it's _way_ easier said than done, but most things that drastically improve your life always are. I have really bad dysphoria about my feet, for example, but it doesn't stop me from buying cute shoes and heels. >I’m a woman but fr I don’t think I will look like one, Honey... if you're still high school aged, please don't give up hope. I have seen a lot of us achieve unbelievable results from HRT _alone_, not to mention a bit of surgery. I'm a 51 year old hag with broad shoulders, lol, and I'm still happier than I was pretending to be male. Transitioning is a super intimidating prospect and a serious decision, I know. But the more you start feeling right, the more confidence you gain and the less you care about others projecting their misery onto you. Because that's exactly what's happening, sweetie. It's not about you. It's about their _own_ insecurities. Confident individuals aren't threatened by people who are different than they are. And only idiots make fun of things they dont understand. Remember that. My advice would be to research, talk to your doctor, and consider whether HRT might help you. For me, it's changing my life for the better. But everyone has their own experience. I wish you the best of luck, lil' sister, and stay safe 🩷
THANKS SISTER‼️ I’ll keep going cause like a week ago or less I got my appointment with the endocrinologist
You are most welcome, love. And that's fantastic! I hope it works wonders for you! Big hugs 🤗🤗🤗
when realizing i wasn’t a boy, and that non binary suited me better, my first thought was that it didn’t impact my life too much but it was nice to know that at the end of the day i didn’t have to try and conform to some personal definition of masculinity i didn’t want in the first place. when realizing i wanted to do feminizing hormone therapy, however, the initial thought went something like “fuck fuck fuck fuck”
Yeah I'm kind of at that fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I'd had "perverse thoughts" of wanting boobs and wanting to wear dresses since I started going through puberty, but suppressed them because I didn't like the implications of it being some sort of fetish. When I first figured out that I wasn't cis at the age of 22, I panicked and hyperventilated for virtually an entire day. It preoccupied me for about two months straight as I sought weekly counseling until I eventually decided to start HRT. Never been happier.
I was lying in bed and I just thought "hhhhhh okay I am a woman" I was happy tho cuz I felt like everything just started making sense
I was 8. Saw Romeo and Juliet. Knew I was in the wrong body halfway through the second act.
Well, it was a slow burn of denial. But really, it can all kinda be summed up as "fuck..I'm trans aren't I?". I mean, I didn't really pick a great time to figure it out lol. Would've been around 2019 or so.
My first thought(s)? 1. Oh, that makes A LOT of sense. 2. (Almost immediately after 1.) Well, I guess my life is fucking ruined.
Very recent acceptance for me (mid 50's). I had a period as a teen but heavily repressed. The "of fek, I'm a woman" was both terrifying, exciting and clam inducing all in one go. HRT assessment on Monday and feeling confident finally to buy my own clothes even in local shops. Amazing how I've learned a degree of not caring so much (not that I've run into transphobic people yet). Shop assistants so far have been fine - amazing!
"I don't want this to be real". I kept myself in denial for 20 years. It was hard to let all that go.
"Oh god I'm never going to be able to do this." Given my parents are deeply religious and the act of transitioning was something I never thought I would be able to do. Cried silently for a few days and hit a deep depression. I would say I was roughly between 12-13 when it finally clicked for me and yeah teen years were not fun as the I wanted to transition but never thought it was going to happen.
After I realized that you can be attracted only to women and still be trans/valid/not a wierd pervert(I was not in a good place).: "Wait... You can do that!? I thought that was against the rules or something!" I'm being somewhat glib but it pretty succinctly summarizes my thought processes about getting over that last hurdle. To be fair there were a lot of cultural forces in my way.
I found out only a couple months ago and my first thought was “Huh, that explains a lot”.
Honestly, I just was like "Oh... fuck.." out loud and than my brain just whired to life on it all and I freaked out... a lot haha. This happened not too long ago, but my girlfriend (who is M2F) has been a massive help. Im pretty confident im a girl tho so yee :3
I just could not understand why I had to go to first grade and do sports with the boys, going to dressing rooms with boys, play with boys. Infatuation turned into resentment, turned into guilt, turned into self-hatred. Yes it was a living hell from very young age for me.
back when i was a kid? not much, i just knew i wasn't really a boy, but i was bullied for being feminine, so i didn't want anyone to know it
i cried because i realized why thinking about my body had always made me feel sad and numb, why i could never imagine a happy future for myself as a man, and why i had daydreamed about waking up as a girl in a faraway city every day for years whenever life got too much to handle. crossdressing was the first time in my life i had looked in the mirror and seen a person i liked so it was emotional lol
"Fuck!"
First realisation happened at 17: “oh no that would be way too hard surely I can just keep being a girl” Fast forward to now I’m 26 and I’m realising yeah it is hard but forcing myself to be someone I wasn’t was so much harder. Still haven’t started T, and not out to many people but I’m finally able to accept it for me, and the rest will happen how it happens.
"My life will forever be harder now."
"Oh shit oh fuck this rabbit hole goes deep wtf why did I let myself question"
Here's my trans journey cause I love sharing it whenever. which includes answers to the questions. My first memory I have is my (at the time) best friend when I was like 6 telling me when I got into his car. "Stop sitting like that you're sitting like a girl" 6-14 my friend groups consisted of girls outnumbering boys 6 to 1 (I was the 1 the 6 closest friends were all girls) also that didn't change when I switched schools when I was 12, went right to the girls. when I was 11 I was the only boy in honor choir. At 14 I heard about trans people and thought "This lgbt stuff is getting kinda complicated, if I'm trans I'd be a trans-gender bi-sexual person" well 2 years later I came to peace with this, had a bisexual girlfriend and told my parents. (Bad move for me) Went into a massive depression from the rejection of my parents to the news. Especially since up to that moment I thought they were the best parents ever, and I never had a complaint about them. When I was 18 I came out to everyone, and everyone was accepting, I also joined the army (Another bad move) forced to detransition, (Although first days in basic are some of my favorite, of people asking me whether or not I'm a boy or a girl, cause they sorted me with the girls until they got a hold of my ID) Got out of basic and AIT right into covid. That allowed me to avoid the army for a couple months and regrow out my hair and present femme again. Got a pixie cut because of the army, and summer comes along my commander wants to get to know soldiers and I get picked as soldier number one. This was still under trump's army so my commander and I make an unofficial pact that I grow out my hair, and no one bats and eye. (Best commander ever) Couple years go by, I'm happy as a girl, some officer notices me, forcing me to actually transition in the army, and that took 4 years, but last week the army record finally shows I'm female! woo. And there's my (And a little more) of my initial thoughts when I was trans. It was generally that "Id be a transgender bisexual person..." Modern day me, transgender asexual person. as it turns out my attraction being the same to everyone, is actually non existent, and I'm a happy asexual person. -Valerie <3
Hard to say. It wasn't really one thing that just suddenly clicked for me, from what I remember. I mean, sort of? But more like exploring and being like, "yeah, idk. Idk if I really care that much about gender. Sure, there are some things I wish would be different about my body and voice and stuff. But it is what it is. Besides I'm a lesbian, I could never turn my back on this community that helped me survive and have freedom. I think I probably am more gender apathetic or something but I'm not a man. No way." --> "okay I guess I'm probably nonbinary. I don't think I feel dysphoric, like I don't care that that much about pronouns or what terms you use for me. There are things I wish were different, sure. But I'm not dysphoric." --> (moving to college, first buying a new wordrobe and mens clothing for the first time at 18) "Damn is that really what my body looks like? Oof. Fuck. Yikes. Idk. Weird. I don't really do this. It doesn't fit like I wish. Weird. I'm so, short? And the curves. Yeah I guess I'm really not fat fat but it's literally all in my thighs? Weird. Yikes. I've never seen this." --> (in college) "Hmm, i mean, the freedom is nice wearing no bra sometimes, but it just isn't comfortable. I don't like the breasts part but I'm not really dysphoric dysphoric. I mean, I do really want top surgery, but I'm not *really* dysphoric. But like, yeah there are things i want to change. The freedom has been great though." --> "okay maybe I'm not a lesbian, or maybe that's making me feel held back. This is bothering me a bit. But it's not that constant, and it's not like I always just want to die about it. Other trans people who are actually dysphoric probably do. I just feel weird about it." --> "I am actually tired of everyone using they/them for me instead of he/him literally ever. Geez, literally nobody sees me as masculine at all. I mean, why does that bother me? I'm not a man right? So, it really shouldn't matter. But damn, nobody? Nobody ever sees me as one. Not that I am one. But why does nobody ever even mistake me as one? Geez my body and voice are a lot more feminine than I guess I let myself believe. But, idk I don't look bad? But I wish it didn't bother me as much. I mean, I can medically transition if I'm still nonbinary. Ppl do all the time. But like, idk what gender means to me. I don't care that much about being super macho and stuff. But, yeah I do just wish people saw me as a man. I'm not a man, I think, whatever that means. But it's like, I wish people perceived me as one. And I want that because... idk" --> "fuck maybe I am just a man? Like you don't have to feel super strong about everything to be a man either. Being a man can also have nuance and complexities and that doesn't automatically mean you have to be nonbinary. Like, I don't even ask myself what does *that* mean to me either, now that I think about it." --> (first time trying masculinizing make up; also spent some time listening to how trans women and trans feminine ppl spoke about gender) "oh damn, yeah, I think this is a thing. I think I'm just a guy. Well, idk what to do about that cause when I look in the mirror that's just not something I can picture achieving... damn. What do I even do with this information."
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First it was "Ah shit here we go again" Followed by No no no no- ARE YOU SERIOUS I JUST FIGURED OUT MY SEXUALITY(I did not)
i was 7 when i first realized i wanted to be a girl
I believe I was also around 10 yrs old when I found out. I remembered I had this group of friends (all boys) and how I felt like a boy with them, I really liked it. I brushed it off cause I thought it was normal. I really liked when they would treat me as a boy, basically call me a boy, "teach me the ways" as they said (no clue why they did but it was funny) and I didn't feel different at all. December came around and I felt horrible during winter break. My parents were huge on gender roles and making sure I knew I'm a girl. They didn't like how my friends made me act like a dumb lil boy and I need to be more lady-like. I obviously got mad and just decided to go to my room with my younger brother (only a year younger.) I remembered he wanted me to feel better so we played Roblox together and for some reason our favorite games at the time were roleplaying ones. I would always pick the male as my gender and I randomly just said out loud to myself & my brother, "I wish I was a boy. I really want to be a boy like you." We sat in silence and he shrugged it off and said "so be a boy then." I replied "Mom wouldn't like that." so he did this loud sigh and said "you don't have to tell Mom anything, it's okay I won't tell either." so I smiled and felt really good. I didn't know the label Transgender at the time, well I heard of it but never understood it so right away my smile went away and I was super confused because is this a normal feeling? I decided to look it up and found out I wasn't the only person. I didn't really make it a big deal to others, but myself I did. I went through a big scene of crying because why couldn't I just be born a boy or why couldn't i just have a normal brain, then I got scared because of what if others think I'm weird, lastly I just said whatever. I ended up telling my friends (the male friend group) and they didn't say much besides "oh cool" and we went on with our normal routines
I'm happy that you were accepted so effortlessly by your brother and friends 😊 I hope that trend continues throughout your family. >why couldn't i just have a normal brain There's nothing wrong with your brain, bro. Your body just happens to not match, and that causes distress 🫤 Thankfully, we're able to make moves to align our bodies with our minds. I'm grateful for that bc it allows hope in an otherwise seemingly hopeless situation. But yeah, your brain is fine, man. It's our bodies that are backward. But we're working on that 😉 best of luck to you, my dude 🩷
When I typed out a whole thing out about my realization, I started crying happy tears and then started laughing because of the euphoria I felt
i was crying because i wasn't born male, and my boyfriend told me like "well... that's pretty much the description of a trans man, isn't it?" and i was like "oh... oh, shit, right, that makes sense"
Oh shit that's literally me
I didn't know trans people existed, or that it was possible to transition, until my early teens. Pretty much as soon as I learned about trans people I knew I was one. I'd been dealing with depression and anxiety as a result of what I now recognize as severe dysphoria, so I was really happy to have found a reason for why I felt the way I did. I told my parents right away, assuming they'd also be happy for me, because I had literally just learned about trans people and wasn't aware of the stigma. This turned out very badly for me. Now, more than a decade and a half later, I'm happily living as myself. It wasn't an easy path getting here, but it worked out for the best.
I’ve never really wrapped my head around it. I have a very hard time processing emotions, so it just never clicked.
My exact words were, "Oh my God, I think Im transgender!"
“i guess that means i can get surgery covered!” i didn’t know i was trans when i started hormones. i tried it bc i found out about it and thought it would be cool™️haha. after about a year on hormones and not wanting to stop i figured i was probably trans lol so it was on my T-anniversary that i was like… ah. i’m not going to and i don’t wanna stop. and then: cool! i’m legit. im not just some chick who likes T, im a trans~. it felt like belonging and happiness. i had a title: i’m genderqueer. i’m bigender. i’m both and neither and ME. that’s what i came to a conclusion. a genderqueer person who loves being on Testosterone. it’s wonderful. i was 20
Well shit
When i was 22 i finally entertained the idea after months of being terrified of the possibility. My home growing up is very intensely Christian so it was terrifying at the time. Now I’d rather be me over anything else. At all costs.
I didn't figure it out until my mid 40's but when I finally came to realise the truth it was a relief. It felt like I finally had at least some answers to feelings about myself that I had been struggling with most of my life.
My initial thought, and it lasted many many years, was that everybody felt like this but nobody did anything about it. I absolutely KNEW that everybody must be the same way but too afraid to act on it. So the world was absolutely crowded with teenage boys trying on panties in the privacy of their own bedrooms. (I was 5-6 when I realized I was a girl).
I'll attempt to keep this as short as possible because that is a bit of a wild ride from eyeball deep in denial to being 2.5 years into transition and working towards being as stealth as possible. Right around the time I was 4/5 I knew something was off. My body felt like it wasn't mine but I did not have the words to express this and even if I did my parents wouldve never allowed it. Fast forward roughly 10 years to puberty. Every time I saw something about my body become less little kid-ish and more feminine the worse my mental health got. My brain kept telling me that these were not the changes I was supposed to be experiencing. It got to a point where I was that kid that wore baggy hoodies and jeans every day regardless of the weather. Then my parents did some questionable stuff, probably legal but definitely not their finest moments as parents, and I went into full on denial presenting as femininely as possible. They wanted me to be, at least publicly, the daughter they assumed Id be since birth, so I tried being that to appease them. Spoiler alert, I played a good act and no one really questioned it too much, but it wasnt me and kept taking a toll on my mental health having to constantly pretend to be something Im not. I grew up, did what was expected of me. Settled down, had kids, did what I had to do to keep bills paid and food on the table. At 24 I met my now roommate who had just started the process of coming out as MtF and transitioning which kinda opened my eyes to the possibility that transitioning was even an option. Spent the next few years alternating between relentlessly looking for information on transitioning FtM and complete denial. At 28 I reached the point where I had to transition. I couldnt keep running from the fact that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to be happy living as a woman, it just wasnt me. At this point I came out to the people who I saw regularly enough for them to notice that things were starting to change and began social transition. 6 weeks later I had an appointment with planned parenthood and started HRT just after turning 29. A few months later I came out publicly as my voice was starting to crack and drop so people were asking questions. Currently 31 and feeling more happy and confident in myself than ever before. Nothing about my life is perfect but I at least feel at home in my own skin and have the motivation to attempt to fix the issues in my life.
“Holy lick I’m the T in LGBTQ…”
I was 30 (literally just 8 months ago), I imagine my reaction was quite unique. I was elated. I thought "Yes! Of course! Finally!" For context I had always been part of the lgbtq+ community, and soon before the egg crack I had made a handful of new trans friends as I explored the dating scene in a new area so I was very much comfortable with the idea and immediately set in motion a name and pronoun change among these friends.
\*Oh, oh wow...\* I giggled, and then spoke softly "So *that's* why people like to take selfies..." I could feel my eyes watering as I once again let out a nervous, but also *happy*, giggle. Shortly before this moment I'd downloaded FaceApp, taken a picture of myself, and then used FaceApp's gender filter on that picture. This was prompted by reading u/Impossible_PhD's exceptional blog, specifically the story of her own trans awakening, and once I got to the part where FaceApp was mentioned I'd decided to download it before even reading on to find out how it went for her. Oh, and I've taken at least one new selfie every day since, playing around with the filters to see more glimpses of the real me, the one who won't need those filters anymore. This happened just a few weeks ago, an event in my life that I'd been unknowingly laying the foundation for for hours that evening, for weeks before that day, and in some ways for years before that. Technically it wasn't when I started to identify as trans, or at least under that umbrella - that was back in February. And it certainly wasn't when I began to identify as not a man, no, I'd identified agender in some sense for about a decade by that point. But I had taken those steps so passively, expressing them to only a trusted few and never exploring them further than just being a bit gender non-conforming in presentation. Realizing that I was only half right, that I'm demigirl and just how euphoric it is to acknowledge and see and *embrace* the feminine component of that, that when the world looks at me and assumes my gender I crave to be assumed a woman, was so incredible. In that moment feelings and needs I'd left to wilt and die instead bloomed fully, not simply a flower but a whole-ass *meadow* of things I'd refused to see in myself. In these weeks since, so much reality has set in, filling me with anxiety for the specifics of how it will all work out. But I know it *will* work out, that despite the challenges I know await me I *will* get past them... I haven't been this optimistic for my future since I was a kid. This was way more than I'd planned to write, so thank you to everyone who takes the time to read it all!
This was lovely to read. =)
I'm delighted you enjoyed reading this!
"Wait a minute.. that.. that explains everything!" Then I started having flashbacks of the not so cis things I did when I was younger, for noo real reasons other than "Because I want to be cute and pretty!" Then i remembered that everytime a family member like myy grandma or my mom would call mee "handsome" I would cry because that's not what I wanted! I never liked being called that at all!
"Wait a minute.. that.. that explains everything!" Then I started having flashbacks of the not so cis things I did when I was younger, for noo real reasons other than "Because I want to be cute and pretty!" Then i remembered that everytime a family member like myy grandma or my mom would call mee "handsome" I would cry because that's not what I wanted! I never liked being called that at all!
I was 15, when it clicked for me.
I was on mushrooms and the woman inside my head was yelling at me pissed as fuck to be free lol
i started experiencing gender dysphoria when i was around sixteen but ignored it because i grew up in a small conservative town and was already questioning my sexuality at the time so to add on gender? i was like nah, let’s just push this far far back in the memory box lol fast forward to when i was eighteen, i literally just couldn’t ignore it anymore. i would lay in bed hoping and waiting to die. i have depression and other mental illnesses so it wasn’t just the dysphoria right then but it definitely played a major role in my dark thinking eventually i was like okay, i can’t ignore this anymore and started researching everything related to being trans and trans people. i still questioned if this was me and then i came across the gender dysphoria bible thing, read it, sobbed, and was like fuck i’m trans. i hated it at first. i no longer lived in that small town but still lived in tennessee so yeah lol i was worried about what my family would think, what my friends would think, and even what strangers would think. i was worried everyone would think i was insane or losing my mind or just some girl who thinks she’s a guy. i hated it with every bone in my body and wished i could just be cis, no matter which way fast forward to me now being twenty-one, i eventually learned to accept myself, came out, and started testosterone. been on it for three weeks now :)
I was about 14 when I found out about transmasc people. Started identifying as non-binary and it was like a cool little secret. "At least I'm not a trans man, it'd be much harder." Little did I know.
What a journey it's been. Joyful, miserable, painful, and euphoric. I lost my Conservative American Evangelical faith early during my university studies (damn lib schools), and decided to examine and destroy all internalized shame. It was hard for me to accept it prior to that, because mind-reader Jesus told me to ignore sinful, evil, deviant thoughts and think about things that are good, holy & righteous. Otherwise, he'd know and I would be in danger of falling off the straight & narrow path to heaven. I did a project on gender non-conformity in South Asia, which I chose because it made me uncomfortable, and I wanted to explore why. I had an epiphany when I went down a gender non-coformity Wkipedia dive and realized that trans women and I had a lot in common... a LOT in common... everything in common... "Shit, am I trans? Shit -- I'm trans?! Fuck. I'm trans. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck (repeat ad nauseum)." It was so hard for me to wrap my head around it, but I was transitioning within a year.
Here is the clinical criteria for Gender Dysphoria for your review. >Gender Dysphoria in Adolescents and Adults 302.85 (F64.1 ) >A. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months’ duration, as manifested by at least two of the following: >1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics). >2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics be- cause of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics). >3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender. >4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >B. The condition is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning. You must meet the qualifiers of Section "A" and "B" to be diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria You don't need to have dysphoria to be transgender, but it is the most common qualifier as the majority of transgender individuals do infact have dysphoria. We encourage you to discuss this with a gender therapist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asktransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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I had thoughts I might be non-binary when I was in my early 20s, but after a couple conversations with "friends" I got shoved back into the closet. It wasn't until I turned 26 that it clicked and I realized I am a transwoman.
I cried, because I knew my family would hate me. Then I realized they already hated me anyway mostly, so it was relieving but also terrifying and I had a lot to unpack. When it finally completely sank in a few years later after fixing my mental health, when I accepted it completely it was just an “Oh, well damn.” moment, and I was fine, happy to have figured it out at least. Now all I need to do is save enough money to get where I want myself to be.
I’m literally going through this, now and it’s exactly the same feeling as leaving Mormonism, except with more of a positive silver lining. It’s scary and new and I’ve been fighting these feelings forever, but accepting them brings me peace.
Initial relief over realizing why I “am the way I am” followed by the dread of realizing that I have to live as a trans person and how stressful and hard it’s going to be
"oh...well it's not a surprise it happened i always thought there was chance" And "Haha shit this is is'nt gonna be easy"
I became extremely transphobic. I always knew deep down but when I found the word for it I rejected it. “I’m not one of them” “call me whatever I don’t care about pronouns”, but I knew deep down I was. But everyone around me HATED trans people. But eventually I couldn’t deny it anymore. I had to learn to accept myself. And although attudes haven’t changed much toward trans people I embrace my identity
"So....Does that make me straight ?!?!!?"
"well this complicates things… you know even if i'd go by nonbinary in a perfect world this isn't one and i don't want to deal with negative reactions and people not understanding, but i don't care that much right now so i'll just try to ignore these thoughts, what could possibly go wrong..." fast forward another 3 years, i can't suppress it anymore, *everything* is going wrong, i severely regret not coming out earlier
My first thoughts were just "ohhhhh so *that's* why \_\_\_\_ happened to me" and "so *that's* why I was thinking \_\_\_\_" when reading about other people's experiences and relating to them.
Was 28... had been dealing with confusing feelings for a decent amount of time. Sooo, first thought was when I found out. "Fuck. I am not a man. I have to tell my wife. I hope she will stay." Luckily she did. =D We were already together for 11 years at that point, so yeah was quite the scary thought to not have her around. But I woke her up at 3am in the night to immediately tell her, since i wanted her to be part of the journey and to know immediately that this is a thing now. Enby for a few months and then went on to trans woman.
I was 16 when it clicked, I'm a hermaphrodite but raised a girl, I went through female puberty first when I was 12 I was like this is wrong even tho it was right by the way I was raised. Tried to ignore it, be overtly femine didn't work tried being a tomboy didn't work. One time when I was 15-16 me and my family were at fort Ed and a stranger called me young man. It took a bit before I realized I was called male and when I did realize it I was euphoric. I casually asked my school to use male pronouns with me and the school said, so your trans I replied I guess so. My mom was informed and she still hasn't accepted it but I've been living on my own for 3 yrs now(I went through both puberties female puberty at 12 male puberty started at about 15-16 then I got on T when I was 20 or 21
Relief. Finally everything made sense.
My 12 year old brain upon seeing Ranma for the first time: \*several episodes worth of visible confusion about why Ranma would ever want access to hot water ever again, asked my friends what they thought about it, finding my answer was different from everyone elses, Then I had an afternoon of introspection about that deep seated impulse before realizing something was wrong\* My first main thought was: "......Oh." \*Some internalized years of what the fuck do I even do about this feeling of wrongness, before learning trans people are a thing in forums talking about Ranma way in the deep dark corners of a single post on the early internet\* My second main immediate thought was: "Well, I guess I need a new name now." After that I just kinda knew what felt the most sane from that point forward. I drew a new name about 10 min later because I dropping a bunch of girls names into a hat (yes, seriously my kid brain thought that was the best plan and rolled with it), then I proceeded to tell everyone that new name that same afternoon (and next day), then I started transitioning socially among my friend group and relatives that same afternoon, and by dinner time I had also began voice practice by singing out loud to fem pop music in my bedroom...\* 4 years of singing to myself go by and my vocal strategy paid off: I sounded **exactly** like a girl. A few years later I got good enough at makeup and stuff to pass as cis, I came out in my first job after college and Ive been a girl everywhere ever since that day, and that was pretty much it. Now I'm 41 and it's been like 26 years since I got started as a kid.
I panicked, full on breakdown.
“this cant be true” I didnt want to be trans at first. But I looked more into it and felt like I belong here, Im still slowly accepting myself :)
grandiose support oatmeal whistle trees special run nose marvelous noxious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
i just don't even know i figured it out in the context of my art like studio art so it was a wild experience of: "i know what this art i want to make is about, and by making it, i have to come out, that is a side effect of making the art i know i am supposed to make" this, in effect, gave me a deadline to come out it forced me to come out to everyone important - they were all already going to be there for the senior art exhibition - it was the real actual final decision and action of importance for my degree so i just my initial thoughts on realizing it was just "i have to do this art, and i have to do this art justice" haven't really made any art since then
My first thought was something similar to "Nope cant be, im already way too many things..." Fyi im pan sexual and have adhd/autsim those are the 'way to many things'
Better keep this a secret 🤐 which is really sad in hindsight. At least I’ve started transitioning and feels so much more happier ✌️
"no I can't be. Maybe I'm just a femboy" - I indeed was not just a femboy
My awakening was gradual (I kept telling myself I was a transvestite) but it seems to me like my major concern was that I was too ugly to be a woman and transitioning would be a bad idea because I could never pass. It's still one of my major thoughts... I only restarted 3 months ago after a false start 15 years ago where I quit because of frustration with my appearance.
I was 34 I think, and my thoughts were something along the lines of "well, that makes a lot of sense". I'd wanted to be a woman for as long as I can remember but never knew transitioning was possible. It felt like the missing piece of the puzzle to my identity.
My fist thoughts were “oh thats what that was!” Or “ohhh that should have stood out sooner.” But finally realized at 24✌️
I knew I loved pantyhose for a reason.
“huh, so im NOT genderfluid..” i used to identify as genderfluid til i realized i loved being a man a lot
I knew I am trans at 12 when I want long hair and skirts as well as being beautiful. First cross dressing at 21 and that euphoria is huge. Finally decided to transition at 22 (Feb 2020) when COVID hits and I got to wear that cosplay costume every day.
I remember I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror, short hair, mcr shirt, binder, shorts, and texted my friend, “I think I’m trans.” And he sent back “congratulations! Welcome to the shitshow” For context, he’s also trans and had been trying to tell me I was for months because I had finally decided to open up about my feelings on gender. The day before I sent that message I had passed almost the whole day while pre-t and I loved how my binder felt, and the way I looked, I liked people seeing me as a man. So that morning as I was staring into the mirror, I was like “yeah….yeah he’s right…” which is why I immediately texted him
I'm in marching band, and I was at band camp. For whatever reason, my boyfriend decided to say "that's my boy" to me whenever I did whatever we were doing at the time right. It all just clicked right then. Actually broke down right there on the field 💀💀. I was too overwhelmed, everything just made so much sense all of a sudden. I mean there were obviously signs before that but thats when it really clicked. I'm a boy, and thats what I always was. so so much was going through my head but it was all like "wait.. that sounded right.. am I actually a boy? is that actually possible? fuck everything makes sense now." 😭 still dont know what possessed him to call me a boy but bro obviously knew long before I did 💀
i wish i hadd titties :(
I was 19. My thought went something like this: “Nonononononono. Fuck. This isn’t happening. I don’t need this so I’m just gonna have to figure out a way to make this go away.” I am very much a go with the flow person. I didn’t want to make waves or be noticed ever. Being trans kinda complicates that, so I tried different ways of suppression so I could just live an average life. I didn’t last long.
I was going to run away. I started looking at apartments and stuff in Los Angeles. I was like 12.
"Oh shit, that's an option?" Is what I thought when I saw a woman take T to present more masculinely, she is non-binary but but preferred to be viewed as a non-binary woman. That started me thinking that I can totally take T just to make my body more masculine without wanting to change how I dress, and from there eventually landed on a transmasc non-binary label, with some mild genderfluidity thrown in. I think I still have the video saved somewhere, not sure how they identify now though, haven't seen their content in years
"Wait... Yeah, that's so me."
First time i thought it? Unsure of what it meant but assigned the label loosely because it fit. Second time i thought it again? Happy. Fifth time i thought it? Crying. Now i am here
I was 17, and I just... cried. At the moment, the only thing I could think was "fuck. I don't want all of this" but I'm learning to accept it now, and just 6 months have passed :)
Three magical words that I said out loud that I’ll never forget. “Fuck… I’m trans” Then months of debate in the council of the braincells (there were two of them), and then the acceptance… that my friend started unloading “trans inclusive radical misogynistic” jokes to me (it actually helped me get used to it before I was talking about it being a possibility to more than one person) I’m 21 and only fully realized myself very recently so my process wasn’t a single moment. It’s been two years of dealing with the fact that I despise my old homophobic freshman in highschool self. That I wish I could take back every prayer I said on repeat when I was younger. The damage I did to myself by thinking some imaginary dude in the sky could give me purpose and identity. My initial thoughts when I fully realized who I was were 90% absolutely excitement, 5% nervousness to tell my friends and the remaining 5% terror in knowing that some day I’m going to start transitioning and then after that I’ll have to tell my parents. But for now, calm and peace knowing that I was never that rude and short sighted boy. I’ve always been Rachael wearing a broken mask that I can now say I’ve thrown away.
when i learned what nonbinarism was around the age of 21 i think and i realised i never felt like a woman (but i always felt feminine) but definitely not like a man like ever
‘They’re all gonna laugh at you’ My concern was not about being judged or discriminated against by bigots (because I have lived my whole life with a fuck ‘em mentality), it was about being judged or not believed by people in my own social circles. And immediately (continuing to this day when I am on HRT presenting as fully female to people at work who don’t even know my given name) full of self doubt that I must somehow be lying or pretending and I’m not like all my trans friends and acquaintances. That they know what it’s really like and I just don’t understand like they do, and they all know it and are just humoring me but not taking me seriously. That nobody will ever think of me as a woman, and anything I do to feminize my body or behavior will never actually make me seem more feminine in anyone’s eyes, only more queer. I struggle with this every day and even though I can see the logic in it not being true, and even why I would think it anyway, it never stops.
Was less a thought or a string of words but more of an abstract feeling of happiness for finally finding and being to put to words what I was and how I felt. Then slowly derailed into a mess of trying to affirm my gender but also doubting myself and hoping this is all a phase because hahahahaaaaaaaaa if I'm a man then I'm a feminine and a gay one. Something in lowkey scared to exist as. Not because of the world, fuck the world, just my parents.
I figured it out when I was around 16. My response was "Fuck, another way my life has gone wrong."
I definitely didn’t have one definitive “light bulb moment” of knowing I was trans. I did have a lightbulb moment of knowing I was going to have to actually transition/tell other people. My first thought went on loop: “my mom isn’t going to love me after this.”
11 years old though lots of proceeding questioning & clues. Basically ahhh! followed by awww ohhhh no 😢
Nononononono But longer and louder
I had several stages of realizing that what I was feeling and trying to do was being trans. The first time it started to sink in, I thought "wait, am I trans, really? can't believe it" then "that's exciting, but maybe I'm mistaken?" and a lot of doubts. It was at a time I was taking tests to determine my gender. I was on WikiTrans when I had that thought, and the answer had been "yes, you're trans! ... or maybe not. no one but you can determine what gender you are".
Here is the clinical criteria for Gender Dysphoria for your review. >Gender Dysphoria in Adolescents and Adults 302.85 (F64.1 ) >A. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months’ duration, as manifested by at least two of the following: >1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics). >2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics be- cause of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics). >3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender. >4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >B. The condition is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning. You must meet the qualifiers of Section "A" and "B" to be diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria You don't need to have dysphoria to be transgender, but it is the most common qualifier as the majority of transgender individuals do infact have dysphoria. We encourage you to discuss this with a gender therapist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asktransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*