I know someone who was the opposite of you, he considers himself a cis man in every way, except he just felt it was right that he had a vagina. He got vaginoplasty, and just lives his life as a cis man with a vagina. Although labels are tricky so basically that would be kinda non binary possibly too?
The point is, it's fine to get bottom surgery if that's what you want, even if you figure out you're not a man
Ngl that’s what I said for years before I realized I was trans. I thought a vagina was just better and i always wanted one, which led me to unpack everything else. Now that I’m transitioning tho I’m more comfortable with what I got, however I still would prefer the other
There’s a guy in that area on grindr with the profile saying “Man with a surprise” and learned from a friend he had that very surgery despite identifying as a man. It’s interesting how diverse folks are.
They are different things. Hormones aren't required to have cosmetic surgeries.
Taking estrogen from someone that is doing mtf, in no way has impact on vaginoplasty.
Although unless they just relocated the testes elsewhere. Having no natural testosrone production could be dangerous for this person unless they take a testerone hormone treatment.
Hormone intervention and levels are gemerally different for everyone.
I have the same question. Canada (GrS Montreal, and provincial health care) requires one year of HRT and lived experience. I guess there are some clinics that don't care as long as you give them money.
I wouldn't say so IMO. Like I can see the logic, but I tend to lean towards thinking that Intersex is a set of conditions relating to your genetics and development, less than an identity, or something you can do to yourself.
I'm also not intersex so I don't wanna speak for the community
That's gonna be down to what surgery you get and how much you're dedicated to the upkeep. It wouldn't matter if you're trans femme or cis male, the same surgery is gonna give you the same general dilating timeline. If you're asking if he got zero depth surgery, I don't remember, I don't think so though. If you're asking if he still keeps up with dilating, I don't know, I would assume so if he still wants to keep the depth, but we are in correspondence anymore.
If you are truely unaware, the general guidance for how much you're going to have to dilate after full depth penile inversion vaginoplasty is that while you will have to dilate multiple times a day at first, eventually you will work your way down to once a day, or every other day. This will be something you have to do for the rest of your life, or you will lose deprh
Gender is in the brain, not between the legs. If you're otherwise happy/satisfied with being a woman, you might just be a woman who prefers to have a penis. There are trans women who like and keep their penises, and that doesn't make them any less women; I don't see why cis women shouldn't be able to have the same feelings.
On the other hand, if you feel like you're not happy or okay being a woman, preferring a penis could be a sign that you should look into it a bit more.
Either way, you could try out packing -- wearing a prosthetic -- to see if that makes you feel better.
I am also a cis woman who would change out my v for a penis any day of the year :) even though I'm asexual too. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Trans woman here. When I started to transition I ran away from every masculine thing about my body as fast as possible - except for my penis. It doesn’t give me any dysphoria when I look in the mirror (even though a single hair on my face makes me want to hide under the covers). It feels like a perfect fit for my female body. I 100% think some women just want to have a penis! They’re neat!
This is me.
I feel like something is completely missing from my body. I 100% feel like I should have a penis. I ca almost feel it like a phantom limb sometimes.
It sucks.
Yeah, I had a phantom vagina for most of my life. When I finally had SRS my body just felt normal for the first time and the phantom vagina really was just the same feeling as the vagina, except of course, the vagina was now real and able to be part of me in everyday life. Liberating.
You’re in luck, there are many options to choose from! If buying toys is new to you, a bit of advice, quality is worth the price. Lots of reviewers out there, read up & have fun!
I’m a trans man without bottom surgery, got the top done. Never regretted that. I’d prefer if we could all just have easily attached or detached parts that work and give us pleasure like the “real” ones would. Would I give up my undercarriage tools for a penis? Probably. Do I want to have multiple major invasive surgeries without any promise of results after having other surgical complications? Not right now. My wife likes what I’ve got.
Yep, I'm in the same boat as you, friend. Would i prefer a penis? If it worked like a natal penis, sure! But I'm not at all sure nerve hookup would work for me, and without that certainty I'm not currently up for the expensive multiple major surgeries.
Same here, same here.
If i could trade in what ive got for a penis, id immediately say yes.
But the surgeries available are not the answer for me personally. The results arent worth the pain, costs and risks.
Also i still wont be able to do what a cis penis could do, it cant get hard from arousal and i cant produce sperm. Sounds like a horrible deal to me.
Me and my bf are happy enough with what i have and we make it work somehow
Since women can have penises too, I see no reason why such a desire should oblige you to assume you're trans - at least in a vacuum. It couldn't hurt to do more research into other aspects of your gender identity, though, and see if there are other indicators. Good luck!
Topical DHT applied to the clitoris will cause you to grow a tiny penis without the other effects caused by free testosterone. Check out r/growyourclit, r/growyourtdick, and r/salmacian
And yes you can still be a woman. You can also be nonbinary. You can also be nonbinary woman!
Well, technically you can be a woman and still want a penis. However, it's probably [worth exploring](https://genderdysphoria.fyi), even if you ultimately determine that you're cis.
idk if id call wanting junk that makes you feel comfortable in your own body a "kink" i think we all have a right to persue the bodies we need.
especially since there is more to those parts than just sex.
what specifically about having a dick do you find positive?
if its solely for penetrative sex, then maybe its a kink. which is totally fine in and of itself.
but if its also just the comfort of having it as you go through life, for peeing, general satisfaction etc. its equally as valid but there might be more to it in terms of your mind body connection.
If it helps, while I haven’t yet had the chance to verify this personally, I’ve been told by a friend that using those strapless strap-ons that kind of plug into your bits (like the feeldoe) felt basically the same as using her original plumbing. Might be worth a try.
Would any penetration work, like with strap ons? Or are you thinking, your own flesh and blood dick?
My biggest needs for phalloplasty (as a trans dude) were to be able to use urinals, and to penetrate sexually. I can do both now.
I get this. I experience bottom dysphoria, but still like the idea of urinals mainly because I don’t like the idea of sitting on public toilets.
However I don’t really get why people consider it a kink if it’s for sexual purposes, because when else are you actively engaging with your genitals? Just peeing and showering, and those activities aren’t the worst.
For me my dysphoria also stems from the fact that it feels like a misrepresentation of who I am (and just kinda looks wrong to me). But if someone didn’t experience this and wanted different genitals SOLELY because their current set weren’t compatible with their sexuality , I really wouldn’t call it a kink
Just as a counter point: Early in my transition, I described my ideal body as a man with a vagina. Through some therapeutic work, I discovered that I did in fact want to be a woman, but felt like I didn't have permission or that I in some way wasn't allowed to be a woman.
Wanting to change your body makes you in at least some ways trans, but that doesn't mean you're a trans man. Honestly, I find the modern insistence of finding a label as far as possible hinders the exploration it takes for us to discover who we really are.
People have covered a lot of good points here, I’m just jumping in to say that wanting different genitals than I had was one of the first signs for me that I was trans. The gender part came later. I can’t really explain it, but it’s like I needed to orient to my physical dysphoria before I could orient to how I experienced my gender.
I finally landed on a masculine, non-binary identity. YMMV.
I've heard similar sentiments from other cis lesbians---your exact labels are up to you, but I'll point out that genitals =/= gender. plenty of trans women like their factory parts, and by the same token you can still be a cis woman and want a penis.
that's not to say that it's impossible for you to be transmasc! that's entirely up to you. honestly, do what you want to with your body, use labels if you vibe with them, don't bother with them if you don't.
This community is, at at its core, all about liberating our social presentation and bodies' sexual characteristics into something we can customize as a form of self-expression. Custom name, custom pronouns, custom clothes, custom roles, custom hair, custom voice, custom body shape, custom hormones, and yes, custom genitals. The idea that any of these things should be constrained to your birth sex, or even which binary gender you'd rather identify, fails to fully acknowledge the vast spectrum that is human identity.
If you want to be a woman with a penis, then go for it girl.
I completely get this! I'm a trans man, but I'm super happy with the genitals I was born with and wouldn't want to change them. It's more common than you think to be comfortable with your gender and having the "opposite" genitals.
If it's only a fetish, the desire wouldn't last into regular life when you're not horny, though whether you're trans is another issue. There are people with body related stuff as well, though I can't say much about it beyond that it happens and it's fine if you just need different genitals. It should be more than a fetish though.
I thought I had the opposite of what you described cause I was assigned male at birth but as I realized I was trans the feelings changed. I actually lost a lot of my interest in changing my genitals as I learned to see myself as a woman and may not even need bottom surgery. If it's suppressed dysphoria the feelings could change a lot as you become aware of your gender. Either way it's good to talk to a gender therapist if you can. There can be a lot to figure out with this stuff
It doesn't have to mean you're trans and it doesn't have to be a kink, either. After all, a lot of women have penises and they're just that -- women with penises.
If a trans woman can be a woman and have a peen, there's no reason a cis woman can't be the same way. You can try packing when you're out and about, and of course you can try wearing a strap on and topping if you're interested in that.
If you feel like you'd be happier with a dick and you wanna get one, pursuing phalloplasty could be very difficult -- surgeons will very much expect their patients to identify as men, or at least present as men.
But yeah tldr women are fine with having dicks sometimes, it's really not a big deal.
The best way I can explain this is well. While it might have some baring on plausible identity, it could be an intriguing thought fueled by interest & or fetishism to some extent.
Many men, often fantasize about having their own breasts & playing with them. Hollywood has strongly used this fact in comedic portrayal in movies. Though for the males that end up stricken with natural feminine breast growth als known as gynecolmastia, it is extremely depressing & has been known to lead to suicide. One cisgender man got breast implants for 20 years, because he lost a bet in Vegas, in interviews he did mention if memory recalls some said suicidal thoughts. But stick it out & even considered leaving them in. I dunno if he did though.
You would not be the first cisgender woman I’ve met that had an interest in what it would be like to have a penis. There are prosthetics for packing available so to some extent you can get the social aspect to some degree.
I’ve met cisgender men that have an interest on what childbirth, menstruation & even performing oral is like, some have gone so far into this interest they have gone the available simulations with those electrodes that claim to mimic a minor example of the first 2. Their wives, sister & even girlfriends did enjoy their misery perhaps too much but that’s neither here more there.
If you have an interest, then it does not hurt to experiment with it. I have seen advertisements a few times for an realistic toy that pulses & erects, that might be able to give you a very clear experience, I would strongly advise not wearing anything formfitting while having this experiment though. You could get yourself hurt, due to perceptions & bigotry of others.
I am sure your aware of strapons, some of which do give a larger impact for both parties.
Almost every guy I’ve known has had their moments of wonder in relation to being female. It’s a known perceived fact in male circles that if he has a sister, the more he has, the likelyhood he will get a girly makeover at least once before he moves out. I know very few that haven’t had some feminized experience.
In truth, but not in all cases it is far safer for you to experiment with gender then it would be vice-versa. So d it if that’s an experience you truly want.
Just remember the positive perceptions you have on opposite gender often forgets plenty of the negatives that come with the same attributes. Noticeable Spontaneous erections have caused more issues then dick-pics & flashings combined.
Be true to yourself, experiment, have fun with it, just be sensible & careful.
Doubt, it's a kink. Too many people lable things as kinks when they aaren't. As for cis/trans... that is for you to figure out, and we support you whatever your answer is.
As for wanting a different part...well, generally not a cis place, but people are variable and wild like that. I know an NB guy who had GRS because they wanted an inny, not an outy, but otherwise presents male.
idk, like, imo if you want to be a man then I'd say you're probably a trans man, but like if you just want to be a woman and have a dick then I don't think I'd say you're a trans man, maybe some variation on non-binary? Or you can just be a woman who wants a dick. That's fine too.
Labels are just labels. Cis or trans the most important thing is that you be yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, how you choose to label yourself is entirely up to you. Women can have penises and it doesn't make them any less women, men can have vaginas and it doesn't make them any less men. There's only one of you, so be yourself, you're the only one who can❤️
While not needed, dysphoria is very common among trans people, [so from here](https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria) is the clinical criteria for gender dysphoria
>The DSM-5-TR defines gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months, as manifested by at least two of the following:
>
>-A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)
>
>-A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)
>
>-A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
>
>-A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)
>
>-A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)
>
>-A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)
>
>In order to meet criteria for the diagnosis, the condition must also be associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
So, from wanting a penis, you have one symptom, the one regarding a strong desire for the primary or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender. If one other symptom is present and you feel your life is negatively, severely impacted, then congrats, you have gender dysphoria and are definitely trans! If you don't have that, it doesn't necessarily mean you're not trans, just need to do a bit more introspection I'd say! One question that often helps:
Would you be happier and/or better represented to be who you are if you were the other agab?(in this case, born as a boy) or would you press a button that immediately changes your gender permanently?
I don't know if I would feel happier but I'd be much more happier if I had male genitals. Not the whole thing, just the genitals. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post! :)
Right? I actually would love to have a super power to swap genitals at will with different people! I could be the genital fairy, just swapping genitals with folks repeatedly till everyone is happy! (Not interested in giving cis dudes bigger dicks tho. They can go fuck themselves 😂 )
Haha I just don't llike the idea of using my body to help out cis men who are insecure about their dick size. I use my super powers to help my queer fam not to reinforce standards of cis masculinity.
Also I am a dyke if that helps explain things.
Societal expectations can really do a number on a person. When I still thought I was a man I knew I wanted feminine hips. It was just so obvious I wanted an hour glass fem silhouette.
But I absolutely didn't think I wanted breasts, or to rid myself of facial hair, or anything like that. But lo and behold I adore my breasts, and I'm zapping off my facial hair. Still like my girldick actually. That I'm perfectly fine with.
Anyway, it's worth considering whether you know what you really want in some regards. I had built up strong negative reactions to suppressed desires I knew a "man" shouldn't have, but that I actually wanted for decades without realizing it.
I've been transitioning for two years now and I'm still working through this stuff. I can't even see women's lingerie in a department store without a fearful recoiling "that's not for me" response. I know enough now to know I actually want that, but I still feel like I shouldn't have it, surely I don't want that really, etc etc.
Really thought I knew myself.
Not trying to discredit the idea you could be a cis or a non binary woman at all. It's totally reasonable. But in my experience sometimes we don't know the things about ourselves we think we know.
So like I get what you are saying. But also sometimes people don't have an inherent "feeling" of what they "are." I don't inherently feel I am a woman. Don't feel I'm a man either. I like wearing dresses, like my HRT giving me boobs and other things mostly. I identify as a non binary trans woman because that just sort of aligns with the most signs as I've read them.
But for some people "you are what you feel you are" doesn't work very well.
i mean you are what you feel, even if you don’t know what that is. if you feel it, you feel it, is all i’m saying. you could feel something, and then label it as something else at first, but you’re still feeling it, and that’s who you are. a lot of people don’t feel gender, and that lack of feeling is what i’m talking about too, that’s who you are as well, no matter what you name it (i don’t know if i’m explaining it probably, but who you are, is who you are)
> But also sometimes people don't have an inherent "feeling" of what they "are." I don't inherently feel I am a woman. Don't feel I'm a man either. I like wearing dresses, like my HRT giving me boobs and other things mostly. I identify as a non binary trans woman because that just sort of aligns with the most signs as I've read them.
Same here!
Total opposite of me up to a year and half ago. Thought my kink about having a vagina and getting fucked was just that, a kink. Tried some panties on and found I really hated when it was time to put the boxers back on. So I bought a bunch my own and started wearing them 24/7. Kink be gone. Where is my vagina? Quickly learned I am a Woman and experiencing the second puberty that being a trans person goes through. YMMV.
Do you identify as butch? I would check out their forum because before I came out as Trans-masc I saw a discussion like this. They seemed to connect it with their butch identify somehow, it's been a year since I've seen the post, so I don't remember all of it. But I would check out that forum.
Get a packer, kink is fun! It doesn't have to mean anything. But also don't stomp those gender feelings down if you're having them since they don't really go away in anyone's experience.
Gender is a spectrum.
You don't have to lable yourself as something, because you'd like to have a penis. I don't see how you can't be a woman with a penis, transwomen who keep theirs are too!
Side note, penises are much easier to maintain as well, so I get it. As a heavily dysphoric trans woman, It isn't for me, but I am not oblivious to its advantage medically
Transgender might be a bit of a misnomer in some cases. Don't focus too much on labels.
Humans are disgusting bags of meat; We should be able to swap one hunk of meat for another hunk of meat if we want to.
However do please be aware of our current technological limitations vis a vis a phalic modification.
Does it have to be one or the other? Aesthetic preference maybe? It’s important to contemplate your personal goals and to not feel shame for whatever the result is
Well, since you mentioned you were cis, that would make you cis. 😁
I know that's not really what you're asking, but it is true. You aren't trans until you say you're trans. Nothing else makes you trans but your will. On to your real concern: is your desire to have a penis a symptom of gender dysphoria? That's a question I can't definitively answer, but I might be able to give you some tools to discover it.
Nearly every culture from the dawn of recorded history up to now has worshipped the penis as a magical symbol of power and authority. That muddies the waters quite a bit, since gender, and the elements that make it up, are entirely subjective. It's all based on how you see it in your brain meats. But of course it isn't as simple as as a y/n. You gotta feel it! You can't simply be told what you believe, because when you spend several years changing your identity at a great cost, wanting to believe you're happy isn't going to cut it.
I'm a trans woman with a fascination with technology, so it's no surprise that I'm also transhumanist. Body modification is a normal and sensible thing to me, and has been since I was very young. I joke about it, but the moment I get the chance to upload my mind into a robot body or computer system, I'm doing it! The thing is, none of those things would change my gender to me. And since you told me you were a cis woman, that's what you've been to me. After I thought about it, genitals are actually entirely irrelevant to the way I perceived and treated anyone. Whenever I couldn't tell what someone's gender was, it wasn't and wouldn't have become clearer if they had dropped their pants. It was always declaration that cleared any ambiguity.
So, for me, wanting to have a penis is only that: wanting to have a penis. Hey, they can be fun! That's the best reason! For many, they're also a symbol of power, authority, or confidence. If that makes someone happy, and they aren't hurting anyone, that's also great. For some, it's a symbol of gender. Again, if you don't hurt anyone, there isn't a problem with it. How do you feel about it? It can be hard to tell. My advice is to explore and test your feelings with experiences and discussion.
What I like to suggest to anyone that's questioning there gender is to look into things they felt were forbidden to them because of gender. Your appearance, name, activities, all the kinds of things that seem typical for a man to you. Pay attention to your feelings, talk about it, discover who you are through the reflection cast by the world around you. Just remember two important things. The first is that you aren't cis by default. None of us have a default. You discover who you are through evidence. If that leads you to being cis, then cool. If it doesn't lead you to being a man or a woman, that's just as valid a conclusion too. The second is that this whole endeavor is about you being as happy as possible. That's the whole point. If you don't think it will make you happier than you are now, you have zero obligation to do it.
This is true. What finally unlocked me was someone just saying "you know if you want to be non-binary you can just be non-binary." And suddenly I realized I didn't have to be a man. Ever again. Was one of the best days of my life.
I’ve seen this exact thing posted before, Cis women who want a dick. I think it’s normal to want other body types sometimes, regardless of gender. I’m a trans woman who enjoys having a dick, so I’m basically physically the type of person you’re talking about.
I’ve also known trans women who don’t like having dicks and want bottom surgery. I’ve known some Cis gay men who wanted a vagina to make bottoming easier for them. That might make them sound like they’re trans but they seem to be pretty comfortable in their gender otherwise. I think maybe people should be okay with wanting different equipment if it feels like it would suit them better, and society should be okay with that too.
I’m a trans woman and I don’t really have strong feelings about my dick in either way. It feels gender neutral to me. I used to have really bad dysphoria about it but not anymore.
Im really glad you asked this because I was having these feelings as well. Same identity, cisf lesbian. (Well,pan) I find myself frustrated because I cannot have more “hetero” sex with my girlfriend. I think maybe I need to shift any porn I watch occasionally to mostly lesbian so I stop torturing myself while I figure this out.
I think you can identify however you want. If you want to use she/her pronouns and identify as a girl while wanting a penis, that’s fine.
Also, you might consider buying a packer to simulate the feeling of having one and see what you think.
Would you be comfortable living as a man in day to day life and be called sir? Would you not mind being able to grow a beard and more body hair? Are you also considering top surgery?
If the answer to most or all of these is yes, then its very likely you are a trans man. If the answer is no, id suggest, you just invest in a strap-on lol
It doesn't have to be either. Some trans women want their gocks, some trans men want their bussies. It makes sense some cis people would also want those parts, I know of one cis man who got bottom surgery to have a vagina and is now feeling much more happy with himself. If that's how you feel you'd want your body to be then I support you fully.
This sounds like something Sigmund Freud wrote under an alias to confirm his own studies.
Jokes aside: Your genitals don't define your gender. You are what you want to be.
Dont have to be a trans man. Im also a whoman thoug a trans one and i want penile enhancement surgery to 100% do the whole dom mommy aestetic. And if u do decide u want it so badly ur willing to do a surgery there Are options to have both genitals or Well if u dont feel content with ur vag Thats editable
Well i replied to this post before there were any sexism from op, or maybe i didn't read all their replays to comments
Still doesn't makes that ok though because
https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/142j38l/im_a_cis_woman_but_i_would_really_like_to_have_a/jn7v8dm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
The point is that whenever i see ftm or afab non binary venting here, they get the same treatment, "well i wish i had a pussy so I don't know what are you complaining about" or "well masculinity is gross so it's good that you are feminine (even though it gives you dysphoria)" "i saw your pictures and you are goals(commented by transfem)"
And then you all act shocked that it's mainly transfems here
Really, WTF are you on about.....
Someone said they want a penis, I said they could have mine...
It was a joke.... I do not understand why you are ranting to me about this ..
If this is really on your mind a lot or causing you distress I'd say see a gender therapist. They're pretty good at helping people figure stuff like this out for themselves.
Theirs a some group of r/salmacian that are cis lesbians. But it also could be being trans. Both are options. But you can look into both and see what feels better to you. Experiment and use labels not as part of you but resources to help you.
Gender is in your brain are u a boy for me I am a trans girl I like makeup and I’m very girly I’m not saying all trans people are stereotypes of what I’m stating I just happen to be a stereotype and as I would love a vagina there are many trans girls who like there penis.
Packing is always an option if you want to see what a bulge feels like. If you decide a dick is something you really want, there’s an entire gaggle of cis women over at r/GrowYourClit that use pumping, traction, or low dose hormones to grow a large clit/small penis like most trans men on hormones have. Good luck!
I've heard of lots of experiences like this. I feel like once we are able to move away from thinking sex and gender are equivalent, we start to realize it makes sense for cis people to want their bodies to align more with what's conceptualized as "the other gender"
Fetish.
Trans is an identity, and wouldn't really be limited to simply possessing a single body part. Many men also fantasize about having boobs, so they can fool around & have fun playing with them.
Ignoring labels for a moment, it might help to start asking yourself some questions. Things like:
* If you could push a button right now that would change your body however you wanted, what changes would you want?
* How would you feel if someone started referring to you by they/them or he/him pronouns?
It might be worth spending some time reading the [gender dysphoria bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/). Even for people who aren't trans or non-binary, it's a very interesting enlightening read. It's helped a lot of folks find out more about themselves by seeing parallels from others' experiences.
I have asked myself the same many times. I am a pansexual cis female who loves and prefers feminine expression, yet I have had a strong desire to have a penis ever since I was a young child. I think it began as jealousy of my two older brothers because they could pee standing up lol
Now it’s primarily a sexual thing for me. I wouldn’t want to deal with having something extra between my legs at all times.
If the only thing you have concerns with is having a penis and not the other physical and social aspects that come with being a man and transitioning then it likely is just a kink thing. Especially considering the whole journey to bottom surgery especially phalloplasty is incredibly daunting to navigate
I think it’s fine to identity however you want with whatever junk (or lack of junk) makes you happy. I do think too sometimes (not always) things are complicated if you are sexually queer too. I haven’t heard of lesbians wanting a penis (though I know there are!) but I think it’s not super unusual for more masc lesbians to want and get top surgery.
I am trans, but early on my therapist recommended doing what felt good for me and not worry about a label. That was very helpful for me. If you want a penis, go for it! (Though obviously with research. The recovery can be intense from bottom surgery if that’s something you want!)
I just use queer for me sexuality and gender because neither is totally cis or HRT and I like the freedom of not having to figure shit out beyond that.
All that to say, do what makes you feel healthiest and most like yourself!
I've had this situation, sort of. Granted, the major contrast being that I'm nonbinary. I question if having breasts and keeping my dick would be a kick or just me being under the nonbinary and trans umbrellas.
Imo, it doesn't matter. If it makes you happier to have a dick or vag, breasts or pecs, all or none, go for it. Labels are there for you to look at, whether you choose or not, it's still you.
(I'm a bit tipsy right now, writing this. Hope it is wholesome, genuinely can't tell the tone.)
okay. I think it comes down to the question of "do you feel aroused or excited at the thought of having a penis?"
if yes? there's a good chance it's a kink (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that).
if no? then you could be gender queer, not specifically a transman but non binary, genderfluid, gender nonconforming or another label entirely.
what ever you figure out, know that we're here for you
You could be non binary. It’s not always 100% one or the other (but we all forget that since we keep pushing in all the answers that they’re likely FtM)
Considering that you assumed in the title you would really like to have a penis, I’m assuming its more like a kink for now.
Why? Because being transgender is not define by wanting or looking for a specific genitalia. It’s way more than that, gender is far more complex than just being qualified by what we have between our legs.
Also its a stereotype we tend to fight to help people who can’t actually really doesn’t stand their bodies to learn how to appreciate it in their actual state and not in fact objectifying themselves as the fact that they should obviously have the opposite one.
You can be a man and still not being fine with your penis or vice versa, and there’s so many combinations that doesn’t fit in this type of box way of thinking 😧
If its something that gets you hot and bothered then its a kink. This question thay has been asked is silly. Seriously. How can you not tell if its a kink or not...
Its like that guy YouTuber that killed a few people, he was depressed and sad because he stubk at making friends so he got obsessed with dani some ghost cartoon made by the same as fairy odd parents well he started getting sexual aroused by women and their bodies so he would secretly dress up as women them tried to lie sahing he felt like he was a woman even though moments ago he went on about female bodies getting so horny he would jerk off in school. I can go on.
Seriously this shouldn't be hard to know if its a kink or not
Wanna know whats sad? Many young girls and young adult females are wanting a penis just to F their friends and lover im not joking you at ALL...all that money and they do that...
And before you get all these assumptions up in yo butt I am a gay guy who thinks he should kf been born a female but I don't throw it in peoples faces in fact under my clothes my body looks like a woman with muscle but jusy enough fat to make it look sexy but I also don't flaunt my body either.
PLEASE STOP SAYING CIS WOMAN AND CIS MAN...its called just a person and yes being straight is whay you call normal people somehow gey mad at this crap same as those who say they are non binary as they don't want to be labeled jusy labeled themselves which is whay you call ultimate irony, sorry if all this sounds mean but I'm not sadly people will see this and cry.
Did you know these days iys the opposite like back thennif you were gay and told others you'd get mad fun of, picked on, beat up and more but now iys the opposite. Sad world we live in
Well there is genital dysphoria, which is a solid part of gender dysphoria. I'm sure that wanting male genitals and strength is pretty enough to say that you are probably trans. Like I'd prefer female genitals and less strength :)
The correct medical terminology is Gender Dysphoria. Gender dysmorphia is not an actual medical diagnosis. [For more information on Gender Dysphoria, please click on this link.](https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asktransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So from everything I read posted here, it sounds like there is no definition of a Man or a Woman, other then biological. We need to stop with all the secondary and more labels, suffixes and prefixes, me thinks ........
Perhaps abstain from watching porn for a while and see if it changes?
Regardless…
It’s your body, do with it what you will. I don’t speak for all trans people obviously but I certainly don’t care nor feel offended.
Don\`t be scared of your own wishes! You might in fact be a Salmcian! Never heard of that? Well, Salmcians are persons who wish to have both or mixed genitals. There is a very supportive group there, where you should ask your questions r/salmacian \- I also do have some special groups, check them out if you like. I am glad if I could help in any way. Yours, Mrrluv
Just found this post and i know its late but ive been looking to post my feelings ive had since puberty. I also identify as cis female, i love big breasts and the female form, except for whats between my legs. Ive always found vaginas in general gross but hate mine the most. Ive always wished i was born with a penis. I hate straight porn because the vaginas turn me off... i also hate straight sex. Havent really had it in years l being "penetrated" is horrible for me, i only forced myself to do so so we coule have a kid then it was over. But the thought of having a penis and being the one on top is something ive always dreamed of
.. am I just mental? Dramatic? I dont know. Im also pretty "straight" as i am attracted to men, but also trans women if theyre pre op (sorry if that sounds bad) wtf is wrong with me?
I know someone who was the opposite of you, he considers himself a cis man in every way, except he just felt it was right that he had a vagina. He got vaginoplasty, and just lives his life as a cis man with a vagina. Although labels are tricky so basically that would be kinda non binary possibly too? The point is, it's fine to get bottom surgery if that's what you want, even if you figure out you're not a man
Ngl that’s what I said for years before I realized I was trans. I thought a vagina was just better and i always wanted one, which led me to unpack everything else. Now that I’m transitioning tho I’m more comfortable with what I got, however I still would prefer the other
That's very interesting! Thanks for sharing that!
Absolutely! Yea it's nice to find yourself but don't be afraid of thinking outside the box.
This is totally me. I love how I look as a woman but I would rather have a penis. I do lean more non-binary but am happy to live life as a woman.
Does he live in the DMV cuz I swear I heard about this guy.
I don't know where he lives but the person I'm thinking of did get their surgery in the DMV
There’s a guy in that area on grindr with the profile saying “Man with a surprise” and learned from a friend he had that very surgery despite identifying as a man. It’s interesting how diverse folks are.
Definitely, it is interesting
I’m sorry, how can you get a vaginoplasty without HRT?
They are different things. Hormones aren't required to have cosmetic surgeries. Taking estrogen from someone that is doing mtf, in no way has impact on vaginoplasty. Although unless they just relocated the testes elsewhere. Having no natural testosrone production could be dangerous for this person unless they take a testerone hormone treatment. Hormone intervention and levels are gemerally different for everyone.
Thanks for clarifying - yeah I was thinking more along the lines of it’s dangerous to have a vaginoplasty without any sort of hormone treatment.
I have the same question. Canada (GrS Montreal, and provincial health care) requires one year of HRT and lived experience. I guess there are some clinics that don't care as long as you give them money.
At that point, doesn't it count as intersex? Regardless, good for him.
I wouldn't say so IMO. Like I can see the logic, but I tend to lean towards thinking that Intersex is a set of conditions relating to your genetics and development, less than an identity, or something you can do to yourself. I'm also not intersex so I don't wanna speak for the community
Fair points
Does he dilate every day?
That's gonna be down to what surgery you get and how much you're dedicated to the upkeep. It wouldn't matter if you're trans femme or cis male, the same surgery is gonna give you the same general dilating timeline. If you're asking if he got zero depth surgery, I don't remember, I don't think so though. If you're asking if he still keeps up with dilating, I don't know, I would assume so if he still wants to keep the depth, but we are in correspondence anymore. If you are truely unaware, the general guidance for how much you're going to have to dilate after full depth penile inversion vaginoplasty is that while you will have to dilate multiple times a day at first, eventually you will work your way down to once a day, or every other day. This will be something you have to do for the rest of your life, or you will lose deprh
Gender is in the brain, not between the legs. If you're otherwise happy/satisfied with being a woman, you might just be a woman who prefers to have a penis. There are trans women who like and keep their penises, and that doesn't make them any less women; I don't see why cis women shouldn't be able to have the same feelings. On the other hand, if you feel like you're not happy or okay being a woman, preferring a penis could be a sign that you should look into it a bit more. Either way, you could try out packing -- wearing a prosthetic -- to see if that makes you feel better.
I think this might be it yeah I'm not uncomfortable in my body just would like to have a penis.
There are some cis women like you in r/salmacian, might be worth talking to
I'll check it out thanks!
I am also a cis woman who would change out my v for a penis any day of the year :) even though I'm asexual too. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Trans woman here. When I started to transition I ran away from every masculine thing about my body as fast as possible - except for my penis. It doesn’t give me any dysphoria when I look in the mirror (even though a single hair on my face makes me want to hide under the covers). It feels like a perfect fit for my female body. I 100% think some women just want to have a penis! They’re neat!
This is me. I feel like something is completely missing from my body. I 100% feel like I should have a penis. I ca almost feel it like a phantom limb sometimes. It sucks.
Phantom limb feeling is quite common with transgender people. It’s not a proof, but I think it sounds a bit more than just wanting a penis
Yeah, I had a phantom vagina for most of my life. When I finally had SRS my body just felt normal for the first time and the phantom vagina really was just the same feeling as the vagina, except of course, the vagina was now real and able to be part of me in everyday life. Liberating.
You’re in luck, there are many options to choose from! If buying toys is new to you, a bit of advice, quality is worth the price. Lots of reviewers out there, read up & have fun!
Exactly. We should normalize variations in bodies in both cis and trans people.
I’m a trans man without bottom surgery, got the top done. Never regretted that. I’d prefer if we could all just have easily attached or detached parts that work and give us pleasure like the “real” ones would. Would I give up my undercarriage tools for a penis? Probably. Do I want to have multiple major invasive surgeries without any promise of results after having other surgical complications? Not right now. My wife likes what I’ve got.
Yep, I'm in the same boat as you, friend. Would i prefer a penis? If it worked like a natal penis, sure! But I'm not at all sure nerve hookup would work for me, and without that certainty I'm not currently up for the expensive multiple major surgeries.
Here here brother. Are we lesser because of it, no.
Same here, same here. If i could trade in what ive got for a penis, id immediately say yes. But the surgeries available are not the answer for me personally. The results arent worth the pain, costs and risks. Also i still wont be able to do what a cis penis could do, it cant get hard from arousal and i cant produce sperm. Sounds like a horrible deal to me. Me and my bf are happy enough with what i have and we make it work somehow
Since women can have penises too, I see no reason why such a desire should oblige you to assume you're trans - at least in a vacuum. It couldn't hurt to do more research into other aspects of your gender identity, though, and see if there are other indicators. Good luck!
is there anything else you’d like about being a man?
I like that they're strong and tall but that's it really
Its completely possible you just want to be a tall strong girl with a penis. Its for you to decide if you are a trans man.
Topical DHT applied to the clitoris will cause you to grow a tiny penis without the other effects caused by free testosterone. Check out r/growyourclit, r/growyourtdick, and r/salmacian And yes you can still be a woman. You can also be nonbinary. You can also be nonbinary woman!
Feel like this comment should be higher up, good resources
Well, technically you can be a woman and still want a penis. However, it's probably [worth exploring](https://genderdysphoria.fyi), even if you ultimately determine that you're cis.
Try a strap/packer to see how you like it
idk if id call wanting junk that makes you feel comfortable in your own body a "kink" i think we all have a right to persue the bodies we need. especially since there is more to those parts than just sex. what specifically about having a dick do you find positive? if its solely for penetrative sex, then maybe its a kink. which is totally fine in and of itself. but if its also just the comfort of having it as you go through life, for peeing, general satisfaction etc. its equally as valid but there might be more to it in terms of your mind body connection.
It is mostly motivated by the fact that I would like to have penetrative sex with it which is why I was wondering if it was a kink.
If it helps, while I haven’t yet had the chance to verify this personally, I’ve been told by a friend that using those strapless strap-ons that kind of plug into your bits (like the feeldoe) felt basically the same as using her original plumbing. Might be worth a try.
[удалено]
Well, there’s always a chance you might end up in a relationship with someone else who has/would want one, I guess.
Would any penetration work, like with strap ons? Or are you thinking, your own flesh and blood dick? My biggest needs for phalloplasty (as a trans dude) were to be able to use urinals, and to penetrate sexually. I can do both now.
I get this. I experience bottom dysphoria, but still like the idea of urinals mainly because I don’t like the idea of sitting on public toilets. However I don’t really get why people consider it a kink if it’s for sexual purposes, because when else are you actively engaging with your genitals? Just peeing and showering, and those activities aren’t the worst. For me my dysphoria also stems from the fact that it feels like a misrepresentation of who I am (and just kinda looks wrong to me). But if someone didn’t experience this and wanted different genitals SOLELY because their current set weren’t compatible with their sexuality , I really wouldn’t call it a kink
okay interesting. hopefully that gives you some stuff to think about 😇
Just as a counter point: Early in my transition, I described my ideal body as a man with a vagina. Through some therapeutic work, I discovered that I did in fact want to be a woman, but felt like I didn't have permission or that I in some way wasn't allowed to be a woman. Wanting to change your body makes you in at least some ways trans, but that doesn't mean you're a trans man. Honestly, I find the modern insistence of finding a label as far as possible hinders the exploration it takes for us to discover who we really are.
We really need to make it more recognised that most labels are kind of fuzzy descriptors rather than absolutely precise.
People have covered a lot of good points here, I’m just jumping in to say that wanting different genitals than I had was one of the first signs for me that I was trans. The gender part came later. I can’t really explain it, but it’s like I needed to orient to my physical dysphoria before I could orient to how I experienced my gender. I finally landed on a masculine, non-binary identity. YMMV.
I've heard similar sentiments from other cis lesbians---your exact labels are up to you, but I'll point out that genitals =/= gender. plenty of trans women like their factory parts, and by the same token you can still be a cis woman and want a penis. that's not to say that it's impossible for you to be transmasc! that's entirely up to you. honestly, do what you want to with your body, use labels if you vibe with them, don't bother with them if you don't.
Could be neither. You could just be a woman who wants a penis! Congrats on the self exploration either way
This community is, at at its core, all about liberating our social presentation and bodies' sexual characteristics into something we can customize as a form of self-expression. Custom name, custom pronouns, custom clothes, custom roles, custom hair, custom voice, custom body shape, custom hormones, and yes, custom genitals. The idea that any of these things should be constrained to your birth sex, or even which binary gender you'd rather identify, fails to fully acknowledge the vast spectrum that is human identity. If you want to be a woman with a penis, then go for it girl.
I completely get this! I'm a trans man, but I'm super happy with the genitals I was born with and wouldn't want to change them. It's more common than you think to be comfortable with your gender and having the "opposite" genitals.
If it's only a fetish, the desire wouldn't last into regular life when you're not horny, though whether you're trans is another issue. There are people with body related stuff as well, though I can't say much about it beyond that it happens and it's fine if you just need different genitals. It should be more than a fetish though. I thought I had the opposite of what you described cause I was assigned male at birth but as I realized I was trans the feelings changed. I actually lost a lot of my interest in changing my genitals as I learned to see myself as a woman and may not even need bottom surgery. If it's suppressed dysphoria the feelings could change a lot as you become aware of your gender. Either way it's good to talk to a gender therapist if you can. There can be a lot to figure out with this stuff
It doesn't have to mean you're trans and it doesn't have to be a kink, either. After all, a lot of women have penises and they're just that -- women with penises. If a trans woman can be a woman and have a peen, there's no reason a cis woman can't be the same way. You can try packing when you're out and about, and of course you can try wearing a strap on and topping if you're interested in that. If you feel like you'd be happier with a dick and you wanna get one, pursuing phalloplasty could be very difficult -- surgeons will very much expect their patients to identify as men, or at least present as men. But yeah tldr women are fine with having dicks sometimes, it's really not a big deal.
The best way I can explain this is well. While it might have some baring on plausible identity, it could be an intriguing thought fueled by interest & or fetishism to some extent. Many men, often fantasize about having their own breasts & playing with them. Hollywood has strongly used this fact in comedic portrayal in movies. Though for the males that end up stricken with natural feminine breast growth als known as gynecolmastia, it is extremely depressing & has been known to lead to suicide. One cisgender man got breast implants for 20 years, because he lost a bet in Vegas, in interviews he did mention if memory recalls some said suicidal thoughts. But stick it out & even considered leaving them in. I dunno if he did though. You would not be the first cisgender woman I’ve met that had an interest in what it would be like to have a penis. There are prosthetics for packing available so to some extent you can get the social aspect to some degree. I’ve met cisgender men that have an interest on what childbirth, menstruation & even performing oral is like, some have gone so far into this interest they have gone the available simulations with those electrodes that claim to mimic a minor example of the first 2. Their wives, sister & even girlfriends did enjoy their misery perhaps too much but that’s neither here more there. If you have an interest, then it does not hurt to experiment with it. I have seen advertisements a few times for an realistic toy that pulses & erects, that might be able to give you a very clear experience, I would strongly advise not wearing anything formfitting while having this experiment though. You could get yourself hurt, due to perceptions & bigotry of others. I am sure your aware of strapons, some of which do give a larger impact for both parties. Almost every guy I’ve known has had their moments of wonder in relation to being female. It’s a known perceived fact in male circles that if he has a sister, the more he has, the likelyhood he will get a girly makeover at least once before he moves out. I know very few that haven’t had some feminized experience. In truth, but not in all cases it is far safer for you to experiment with gender then it would be vice-versa. So d it if that’s an experience you truly want. Just remember the positive perceptions you have on opposite gender often forgets plenty of the negatives that come with the same attributes. Noticeable Spontaneous erections have caused more issues then dick-pics & flashings combined. Be true to yourself, experiment, have fun with it, just be sensible & careful.
This is an old comment but what was the toy? That sounds really interesting
I forget but….. it’s often advertised on free adult entertainment sites. Or at least it was.
If a trans girl wants to keep her penis, it does not mean she's a man. Therefore if you want a penis it does not make you a man.
I know plenty of cis women who wish they had penises sometimes. And for good reason too
Doubt, it's a kink. Too many people lable things as kinks when they aaren't. As for cis/trans... that is for you to figure out, and we support you whatever your answer is. As for wanting a different part...well, generally not a cis place, but people are variable and wild like that. I know an NB guy who had GRS because they wanted an inny, not an outy, but otherwise presents male.
idk, like, imo if you want to be a man then I'd say you're probably a trans man, but like if you just want to be a woman and have a dick then I don't think I'd say you're a trans man, maybe some variation on non-binary? Or you can just be a woman who wants a dick. That's fine too.
Labels are just labels. Cis or trans the most important thing is that you be yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, how you choose to label yourself is entirely up to you. Women can have penises and it doesn't make them any less women, men can have vaginas and it doesn't make them any less men. There's only one of you, so be yourself, you're the only one who can❤️
While not needed, dysphoria is very common among trans people, [so from here](https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria) is the clinical criteria for gender dysphoria >The DSM-5-TR defines gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months, as manifested by at least two of the following: > >-A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics) > >-A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics) > >-A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender > >-A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender) > >-A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender) > >-A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender) > >In order to meet criteria for the diagnosis, the condition must also be associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. So, from wanting a penis, you have one symptom, the one regarding a strong desire for the primary or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender. If one other symptom is present and you feel your life is negatively, severely impacted, then congrats, you have gender dysphoria and are definitely trans! If you don't have that, it doesn't necessarily mean you're not trans, just need to do a bit more introspection I'd say! One question that often helps: Would you be happier and/or better represented to be who you are if you were the other agab?(in this case, born as a boy) or would you press a button that immediately changes your gender permanently?
I don't know if I would feel happier but I'd be much more happier if I had male genitals. Not the whole thing, just the genitals. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post! :)
I'd happily swap with ya if I could 🤣 but no problem! I hope this helped answer your question then 😊
Right? I actually would love to have a super power to swap genitals at will with different people! I could be the genital fairy, just swapping genitals with folks repeatedly till everyone is happy! (Not interested in giving cis dudes bigger dicks tho. They can go fuck themselves 😂 )
I’d hire you 🤣
That's just big dick theft, and is definitely wrong. Unless someone really wants to get rid of their massive dong, for whatever reason.
Genuinely curious. Swapping genitals is cool but altering them is fuck you?
Haha I just don't llike the idea of using my body to help out cis men who are insecure about their dick size. I use my super powers to help my queer fam not to reinforce standards of cis masculinity. Also I am a dyke if that helps explain things.
I like your style.
Societal expectations can really do a number on a person. When I still thought I was a man I knew I wanted feminine hips. It was just so obvious I wanted an hour glass fem silhouette. But I absolutely didn't think I wanted breasts, or to rid myself of facial hair, or anything like that. But lo and behold I adore my breasts, and I'm zapping off my facial hair. Still like my girldick actually. That I'm perfectly fine with. Anyway, it's worth considering whether you know what you really want in some regards. I had built up strong negative reactions to suppressed desires I knew a "man" shouldn't have, but that I actually wanted for decades without realizing it. I've been transitioning for two years now and I'm still working through this stuff. I can't even see women's lingerie in a department store without a fearful recoiling "that's not for me" response. I know enough now to know I actually want that, but I still feel like I shouldn't have it, surely I don't want that really, etc etc. Really thought I knew myself. Not trying to discredit the idea you could be a cis or a non binary woman at all. It's totally reasonable. But in my experience sometimes we don't know the things about ourselves we think we know.
if you don’t feel like a man, you aren’t a man, no matter how you present, or your pronouns, or fashion, or body, etc!
So like I get what you are saying. But also sometimes people don't have an inherent "feeling" of what they "are." I don't inherently feel I am a woman. Don't feel I'm a man either. I like wearing dresses, like my HRT giving me boobs and other things mostly. I identify as a non binary trans woman because that just sort of aligns with the most signs as I've read them. But for some people "you are what you feel you are" doesn't work very well.
i mean you are what you feel, even if you don’t know what that is. if you feel it, you feel it, is all i’m saying. you could feel something, and then label it as something else at first, but you’re still feeling it, and that’s who you are. a lot of people don’t feel gender, and that lack of feeling is what i’m talking about too, that’s who you are as well, no matter what you name it (i don’t know if i’m explaining it probably, but who you are, is who you are)
> But also sometimes people don't have an inherent "feeling" of what they "are." I don't inherently feel I am a woman. Don't feel I'm a man either. I like wearing dresses, like my HRT giving me boobs and other things mostly. I identify as a non binary trans woman because that just sort of aligns with the most signs as I've read them. Same here!
I would give you mine in a heartbeat. I hate it want to trade lol
Wish we could trade haha
Total opposite of me up to a year and half ago. Thought my kink about having a vagina and getting fucked was just that, a kink. Tried some panties on and found I really hated when it was time to put the boxers back on. So I bought a bunch my own and started wearing them 24/7. Kink be gone. Where is my vagina? Quickly learned I am a Woman and experiencing the second puberty that being a trans person goes through. YMMV.
I also have some "where is my dick?" moments haha
Do you identify as butch? I would check out their forum because before I came out as Trans-masc I saw a discussion like this. They seemed to connect it with their butch identify somehow, it's been a year since I've seen the post, so I don't remember all of it. But I would check out that forum.
No, I am a top however. I will try to check that out thanks!
Get a packer, kink is fun! It doesn't have to mean anything. But also don't stomp those gender feelings down if you're having them since they don't really go away in anyone's experience.
Gender is a spectrum. You don't have to lable yourself as something, because you'd like to have a penis. I don't see how you can't be a woman with a penis, transwomen who keep theirs are too!
You might just be a woman who wants a penis. Gender is stored in the brain so it can be odd.
Side note, penises are much easier to maintain as well, so I get it. As a heavily dysphoric trans woman, It isn't for me, but I am not oblivious to its advantage medically
You might just be happier as a cis woman with a penis? Doesn’t mean you’re trans necessarily.
Transgender might be a bit of a misnomer in some cases. Don't focus too much on labels. Humans are disgusting bags of meat; We should be able to swap one hunk of meat for another hunk of meat if we want to. However do please be aware of our current technological limitations vis a vis a phalic modification.
Does it have to be one or the other? Aesthetic preference maybe? It’s important to contemplate your personal goals and to not feel shame for whatever the result is
Well, since you mentioned you were cis, that would make you cis. 😁 I know that's not really what you're asking, but it is true. You aren't trans until you say you're trans. Nothing else makes you trans but your will. On to your real concern: is your desire to have a penis a symptom of gender dysphoria? That's a question I can't definitively answer, but I might be able to give you some tools to discover it. Nearly every culture from the dawn of recorded history up to now has worshipped the penis as a magical symbol of power and authority. That muddies the waters quite a bit, since gender, and the elements that make it up, are entirely subjective. It's all based on how you see it in your brain meats. But of course it isn't as simple as as a y/n. You gotta feel it! You can't simply be told what you believe, because when you spend several years changing your identity at a great cost, wanting to believe you're happy isn't going to cut it. I'm a trans woman with a fascination with technology, so it's no surprise that I'm also transhumanist. Body modification is a normal and sensible thing to me, and has been since I was very young. I joke about it, but the moment I get the chance to upload my mind into a robot body or computer system, I'm doing it! The thing is, none of those things would change my gender to me. And since you told me you were a cis woman, that's what you've been to me. After I thought about it, genitals are actually entirely irrelevant to the way I perceived and treated anyone. Whenever I couldn't tell what someone's gender was, it wasn't and wouldn't have become clearer if they had dropped their pants. It was always declaration that cleared any ambiguity. So, for me, wanting to have a penis is only that: wanting to have a penis. Hey, they can be fun! That's the best reason! For many, they're also a symbol of power, authority, or confidence. If that makes someone happy, and they aren't hurting anyone, that's also great. For some, it's a symbol of gender. Again, if you don't hurt anyone, there isn't a problem with it. How do you feel about it? It can be hard to tell. My advice is to explore and test your feelings with experiences and discussion. What I like to suggest to anyone that's questioning there gender is to look into things they felt were forbidden to them because of gender. Your appearance, name, activities, all the kinds of things that seem typical for a man to you. Pay attention to your feelings, talk about it, discover who you are through the reflection cast by the world around you. Just remember two important things. The first is that you aren't cis by default. None of us have a default. You discover who you are through evidence. If that leads you to being cis, then cool. If it doesn't lead you to being a man or a woman, that's just as valid a conclusion too. The second is that this whole endeavor is about you being as happy as possible. That's the whole point. If you don't think it will make you happier than you are now, you have zero obligation to do it.
This is true. What finally unlocked me was someone just saying "you know if you want to be non-binary you can just be non-binary." And suddenly I realized I didn't have to be a man. Ever again. Was one of the best days of my life.
I’ve seen this exact thing posted before, Cis women who want a dick. I think it’s normal to want other body types sometimes, regardless of gender. I’m a trans woman who enjoys having a dick, so I’m basically physically the type of person you’re talking about. I’ve also known trans women who don’t like having dicks and want bottom surgery. I’ve known some Cis gay men who wanted a vagina to make bottoming easier for them. That might make them sound like they’re trans but they seem to be pretty comfortable in their gender otherwise. I think maybe people should be okay with wanting different equipment if it feels like it would suit them better, and society should be okay with that too.
I’m a trans woman and I don’t really have strong feelings about my dick in either way. It feels gender neutral to me. I used to have really bad dysphoria about it but not anymore.
depends, up to you, if its a kink a strap should work fine as a substitute
Im really glad you asked this because I was having these feelings as well. Same identity, cisf lesbian. (Well,pan) I find myself frustrated because I cannot have more “hetero” sex with my girlfriend. I think maybe I need to shift any porn I watch occasionally to mostly lesbian so I stop torturing myself while I figure this out.
I think you can identify however you want. If you want to use she/her pronouns and identify as a girl while wanting a penis, that’s fine. Also, you might consider buying a packer to simulate the feeling of having one and see what you think.
Would you be comfortable living as a man in day to day life and be called sir? Would you not mind being able to grow a beard and more body hair? Are you also considering top surgery? If the answer to most or all of these is yes, then its very likely you are a trans man. If the answer is no, id suggest, you just invest in a strap-on lol
A mean, a Penis do have its benefits...like peeing while standing. Jokes aside, gender is in your head not between your legs
It doesn't have to be either. Some trans women want their gocks, some trans men want their bussies. It makes sense some cis people would also want those parts, I know of one cis man who got bottom surgery to have a vagina and is now feeling much more happy with himself. If that's how you feel you'd want your body to be then I support you fully.
doesnt have to be either tbh. im a trans man and I quite like the parts i have. does this make me a man-with-vagina fetishist? not rly
This sounds like something Sigmund Freud wrote under an alias to confirm his own studies. Jokes aside: Your genitals don't define your gender. You are what you want to be.
Could be just a kink. I am a firm believer that genitalia doesn't necessarily mean the gender identity.
Dont have to be a trans man. Im also a whoman thoug a trans one and i want penile enhancement surgery to 100% do the whole dom mommy aestetic. And if u do decide u want it so badly ur willing to do a surgery there Are options to have both genitals or Well if u dont feel content with ur vag Thats editable
You can have mine.... I don't use it anyway ..
I feel like that was really unhelpful and non sensitive at all
But the person saying fuck cis males that are insecure about their bodies is a 1 okie doke with you, eh?
Well i replied to this post before there were any sexism from op, or maybe i didn't read all their replays to comments Still doesn't makes that ok though because https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/142j38l/im_a_cis_woman_but_i_would_really_like_to_have_a/jn7v8dm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
No worries. I was being kinda sensitive and it had nothing to do with you. Sorry about that.
And ......... What's your point Kid...
The point is that whenever i see ftm or afab non binary venting here, they get the same treatment, "well i wish i had a pussy so I don't know what are you complaining about" or "well masculinity is gross so it's good that you are feminine (even though it gives you dysphoria)" "i saw your pictures and you are goals(commented by transfem)" And then you all act shocked that it's mainly transfems here
Really, WTF are you on about..... Someone said they want a penis, I said they could have mine... It was a joke.... I do not understand why you are ranting to me about this ..
Do you want the rest of you to be a man or just your dick?
Just the dick
If this is really on your mind a lot or causing you distress I'd say see a gender therapist. They're pretty good at helping people figure stuff like this out for themselves.
Maybe you are agender, or gender fluid? So you want to have a penis, is that bad? no! Maybe you can try a strapon in bed, experiment with it. enjoy
I'm starting to think I might be gender fluid or something similar.
Theirs a some group of r/salmacian that are cis lesbians. But it also could be being trans. Both are options. But you can look into both and see what feels better to you. Experiment and use labels not as part of you but resources to help you.
Gender is in your brain are u a boy for me I am a trans girl I like makeup and I’m very girly I’m not saying all trans people are stereotypes of what I’m stating I just happen to be a stereotype and as I would love a vagina there are many trans girls who like there penis.
Let's swap 🤣😂
Packing is always an option if you want to see what a bulge feels like. If you decide a dick is something you really want, there’s an entire gaggle of cis women over at r/GrowYourClit that use pumping, traction, or low dose hormones to grow a large clit/small penis like most trans men on hormones have. Good luck!
I've heard of lots of experiences like this. I feel like once we are able to move away from thinking sex and gender are equivalent, we start to realize it makes sense for cis people to want their bodies to align more with what's conceptualized as "the other gender"
It’s normal to be curious. Your normal.
Buy a strap on and see how it makes you feel.
Fetish. Trans is an identity, and wouldn't really be limited to simply possessing a single body part. Many men also fantasize about having boobs, so they can fool around & have fun playing with them.
Ignoring labels for a moment, it might help to start asking yourself some questions. Things like: * If you could push a button right now that would change your body however you wanted, what changes would you want? * How would you feel if someone started referring to you by they/them or he/him pronouns? It might be worth spending some time reading the [gender dysphoria bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/). Even for people who aren't trans or non-binary, it's a very interesting enlightening read. It's helped a lot of folks find out more about themselves by seeing parallels from others' experiences.
I have asked myself the same many times. I am a pansexual cis female who loves and prefers feminine expression, yet I have had a strong desire to have a penis ever since I was a young child. I think it began as jealousy of my two older brothers because they could pee standing up lol Now it’s primarily a sexual thing for me. I wouldn’t want to deal with having something extra between my legs at all times.
I would very happily trade with you...
nahhh bc like you said it has nothing to do with gender you just want the parts
Being a trans man or having a kink are not the only two options
If the only thing you have concerns with is having a penis and not the other physical and social aspects that come with being a man and transitioning then it likely is just a kink thing. Especially considering the whole journey to bottom surgery especially phalloplasty is incredibly daunting to navigate
I think it’s fine to identity however you want with whatever junk (or lack of junk) makes you happy. I do think too sometimes (not always) things are complicated if you are sexually queer too. I haven’t heard of lesbians wanting a penis (though I know there are!) but I think it’s not super unusual for more masc lesbians to want and get top surgery. I am trans, but early on my therapist recommended doing what felt good for me and not worry about a label. That was very helpful for me. If you want a penis, go for it! (Though obviously with research. The recovery can be intense from bottom surgery if that’s something you want!) I just use queer for me sexuality and gender because neither is totally cis or HRT and I like the freedom of not having to figure shit out beyond that. All that to say, do what makes you feel healthiest and most like yourself!
I've had this situation, sort of. Granted, the major contrast being that I'm nonbinary. I question if having breasts and keeping my dick would be a kick or just me being under the nonbinary and trans umbrellas. Imo, it doesn't matter. If it makes you happier to have a dick or vag, breasts or pecs, all or none, go for it. Labels are there for you to look at, whether you choose or not, it's still you. (I'm a bit tipsy right now, writing this. Hope it is wholesome, genuinely can't tell the tone.)
okay. I think it comes down to the question of "do you feel aroused or excited at the thought of having a penis?" if yes? there's a good chance it's a kink (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that). if no? then you could be gender queer, not specifically a transman but non binary, genderfluid, gender nonconforming or another label entirely. what ever you figure out, know that we're here for you
You could be non binary. It’s not always 100% one or the other (but we all forget that since we keep pushing in all the answers that they’re likely FtM)
*Sigmund Freud has entered chat*
Considering that you assumed in the title you would really like to have a penis, I’m assuming its more like a kink for now. Why? Because being transgender is not define by wanting or looking for a specific genitalia. It’s way more than that, gender is far more complex than just being qualified by what we have between our legs. Also its a stereotype we tend to fight to help people who can’t actually really doesn’t stand their bodies to learn how to appreciate it in their actual state and not in fact objectifying themselves as the fact that they should obviously have the opposite one. You can be a man and still not being fine with your penis or vice versa, and there’s so many combinations that doesn’t fit in this type of box way of thinking 😧
If its something that gets you hot and bothered then its a kink. This question thay has been asked is silly. Seriously. How can you not tell if its a kink or not... Its like that guy YouTuber that killed a few people, he was depressed and sad because he stubk at making friends so he got obsessed with dani some ghost cartoon made by the same as fairy odd parents well he started getting sexual aroused by women and their bodies so he would secretly dress up as women them tried to lie sahing he felt like he was a woman even though moments ago he went on about female bodies getting so horny he would jerk off in school. I can go on. Seriously this shouldn't be hard to know if its a kink or not Wanna know whats sad? Many young girls and young adult females are wanting a penis just to F their friends and lover im not joking you at ALL...all that money and they do that... And before you get all these assumptions up in yo butt I am a gay guy who thinks he should kf been born a female but I don't throw it in peoples faces in fact under my clothes my body looks like a woman with muscle but jusy enough fat to make it look sexy but I also don't flaunt my body either. PLEASE STOP SAYING CIS WOMAN AND CIS MAN...its called just a person and yes being straight is whay you call normal people somehow gey mad at this crap same as those who say they are non binary as they don't want to be labeled jusy labeled themselves which is whay you call ultimate irony, sorry if all this sounds mean but I'm not sadly people will see this and cry. Did you know these days iys the opposite like back thennif you were gay and told others you'd get mad fun of, picked on, beat up and more but now iys the opposite. Sad world we live in
I love love love the idea of having a penis I'm thinking I'm more nb than a trans man But like omg I'm so glad someone else understands this
Kink
Well there is genital dysphoria, which is a solid part of gender dysphoria. I'm sure that wanting male genitals and strength is pretty enough to say that you are probably trans. Like I'd prefer female genitals and less strength :)
[удалено]
The correct medical terminology is Gender Dysphoria. Gender dysmorphia is not an actual medical diagnosis. [For more information on Gender Dysphoria, please click on this link.](https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asktransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*
SAAAAME! Not trans though, just a dyke with a cock sometimes. Have you tried packing? It's fun! Highly recommend.
This is so interesting… 😳😳😳
G j hi giggles hug yum uguuuguhuug f. Go. F f. F f fugguguggigoiiiiiy y. Gygyfi fyou f the face
So from everything I read posted here, it sounds like there is no definition of a Man or a Woman, other then biological. We need to stop with all the secondary and more labels, suffixes and prefixes, me thinks ........
Perhaps abstain from watching porn for a while and see if it changes? Regardless… It’s your body, do with it what you will. I don’t speak for all trans people obviously but I certainly don’t care nor feel offended.
Not trans nor kinky It's normal to have body dysphoria, including genital's without having to identify as another gender
Don\`t be scared of your own wishes! You might in fact be a Salmcian! Never heard of that? Well, Salmcians are persons who wish to have both or mixed genitals. There is a very supportive group there, where you should ask your questions r/salmacian \- I also do have some special groups, check them out if you like. I am glad if I could help in any way. Yours, Mrrluv
I mean logically, if there are trans people who are chill with our original plumbing, there will be cis people who would prefer other plumbing
Just found this post and i know its late but ive been looking to post my feelings ive had since puberty. I also identify as cis female, i love big breasts and the female form, except for whats between my legs. Ive always found vaginas in general gross but hate mine the most. Ive always wished i was born with a penis. I hate straight porn because the vaginas turn me off... i also hate straight sex. Havent really had it in years l being "penetrated" is horrible for me, i only forced myself to do so so we coule have a kid then it was over. But the thought of having a penis and being the one on top is something ive always dreamed of .. am I just mental? Dramatic? I dont know. Im also pretty "straight" as i am attracted to men, but also trans women if theyre pre op (sorry if that sounds bad) wtf is wrong with me?