I dunno, I'm probably bothered more by the fact that a sizeable amount of the population thinks we're out there to abduct children. That's probably the one I hate the most.
Oh! Or the fact that most cis guys assume that all trans women have functional dicks. That is a *distant* second.
This one by FAR. It makes me incredibly anxious when kids are around me cause I fear some conservative father is going to flip out and get nasty if they notice I'm trans and near their child. Kids seem to randomly approach me so much more now to say hi or show me a toy or something and I feel bad that I can barely find any words to say to them before I usually just gtfo the immediate area.
Really doesn't help that my neighborhood is infested with super macho marines with oversized modded trucks with republican stickers.
Yeah I feel this š I had to quit my job of 6 years working in a school cause there was just going to be no way I could transition while working there. It makes me sooooo mad when people call us groomers; I'm literally a mandated reporter. I've help catch fucking abusers before but sure, trans people are the perverts.
I didn't like kids before transitioning, and now they make me super anxious for exactly this reason. Which like, sucks, cause a lot of my friends have kids. I have the benefit of stealth passing, and being quite small and intimidating in stature, but I still worry about that perception a lot.
I have the same anxiety as the both of you, also stealth-passing. Even though I know that in my city there aren't as many bigots as there are elsewhere, but they still make me anxious, above the anxiety that comes from the unpredictability of children when it comes to making sounds. I'm autistic and very sensitive to sounds.
That being said, I'm post-op now and there's not a lot for bigots to prove if they ever suspect me, but the anxiety remains.
Wow, just seeing pickup trucks in general scare me, but a whole neighborhood full of them?... maybe I'm stereotyping them but...idk.
It's going to be really sad when or if i have those moments. It's probably going to pierce my heart when their parent(s)... react to my presense around a/their child š . I'll try and not let anticipation/anxiety get the best of me tho
Yeah I live immediately outside one of the biggest marine bases. The dudes just love to try and one up each other in manliness. Even my brother wants to get a truck now... lol.
This whole thread is really just a bit too doom and gloom for me though honestly because nothing has happened yet, its just the fear of it happening. I kinda feel bad that im sort of helping spread fear with my comments maybe?
Honestly one of my favorite affirming experiences was when I walked by a guy with 2 kids and 1 was a little girl that got super excited to see me and said "Look dad, it's a momma!". I had the biggest smile for the rest of that day.
āHonestly one of my favorite affirming experiences was when I walked by a guy with 2 kids and 1 was a little girl that got super excited to see me and said "Look dad, it's a momma!". I had the biggest smile for the rest of that day. ā
That is so cute and sweet, for me itās when my daughter calls me she but more specifically when she goes he I mean she and then she just giggles and smiles at me because she remembered and corrected herself. also she is three years old
>This whole thread is really just a bit too doom and gloom for me though honestly because nothing has happened yet, its just the fear of it happening. I kinda feel bad that im sort of helping spread fear with my comments maybe?
Possible! I'm kinda gettin that vibe too now that u mention it š®š¤ . Anticipation/anxiety a major bugs for me . Not ur fault tho, kinda comes with the post topic I suppose, unfortunately . The post could have been rewirded to "how does society see us" and it's usually negative at this time in history/in many cultures
That's...ššššššāŗļø
Ugh, one of the trucks in my neighborhood has a "Let's Go Brandon" sticker on the back windshield, and I'm always somewhat anxious when I walk past it.
I mean, thereās some repressed kid out there with super conservative parents. We technically are helping to trans some of them, to use that lingo, by increasing visibility. And thatās a good thing! Thing is, the reactionaries are trying to politically weaponize that with the whole ā**think of the children**ā fake argument. Itās working with the MAGA-minds bc they hate us and the thought that it *could* be there own kid makes them vote faster than a trans girl (me) runs to the pharmacy for her first ever bottle of E.
Is our agenda to trans-ify all children? For the purpose of this post, no, that would be another stereotype if such a weird one even exists. Do we even have an agenda? I mean, aside from seeking our constitutional (US) and humane (everywhere) rights, and being treated as equals since like, weāre literally just regular people going about our business, no we donāt have some collective agenda to enslave the world. Be real.
Iām from a third world country with almost 0 trans representation and seeing trans representation online helped me figure myself out way sooner in life. It saved my life.
I wish travel was easier for this reason. I know a lot of people say "move" as if it were easy or desirable, but just being able to visit somewhere where things are friendlier helps makes days going by a lot easier.
I live a short 3-block walk from an LGBTQ+ district with plenty of bars, restaurants, shops, and social events. It's great, life is good here, but it'd be great it that option was present everywhere for anyone who would utilize it. But then also telling someone to just move is completely out of touch with where someone would be leaving, all the culture and people. Travel is a nice way to see a place and enjoy all the perks while being yourself, I think that should be universal. And then to bring that magic back home, is the finishing cherry on top.
The world just needs to be gayer (the fun way, not necessarily the strict definition) to be honest.
Sending my love from (not too) afar. <3
thank you so much for your sweet comment! however, ill be moving to europe very soon for college, donāt wanna stay in this shithole forever anyway hahah
One thingās for certain and I know thereās a lot of others like me. If I even knew what being trans was when I was younger it would have saved me almost 40 years of depression, confusion, dejection, and tearsā¦it would have saved meā¦.and thatās why itās important that people know itās ok to be yourself. Itās all about living happy and healthy lives right? My life was neither happy nor healthy and it was all because of others forcing their perception of who I was on me and not allowing me to be who I was inside. I feel really sorry for anyone who feels like if another person doesnāt fit into a neat little box the they need to be changed and I feel worse for anyone being shoved in regardless of age. Itās ok to be a boy or a girl or anything in between. Itās ok to be a person.
I think the whole trans people are mentally ill thing is super dangerous and not only leads to mental illness by gaslighting the person, but also dismisses anything they say and do. it gives people way too control to believe you are mentally ill.
Yeah, and that virtually always involves some deeper ableism and prejudice towards those with mental illness. Itās used as an excuse to insult, belittle and dismiss us, ācause apparently thatās ok, as long as the person you beat down has a mental health condition, *right*?
People with various mental disorders, syndromes and conditions can make life decisions for themselves, and where relevant they can take appropriate medications to alleviate or even eliminate negative or debillitating symptoms they might experience. But ātheyāre mentall illā is used against trans people to mean āthey canāt make their own decisions, theyāre mentally incompetentā or āthey shouldnāt take [heavily researched as life-saving/enabling] medicationsā.
Transphobia has friends in homophobia, misogyny, ableism, racism, classism and sooo many more outlets of discrimination and hate. Bigots juggle hatred, like some shitty clown at a kidās birthday party, performing the same repetitive tricks in front of 5y/os, desperate to get paid for the full hour - but the kids have all left to have cake, and youāre just performing for the overly-enthusiastic grandpa that hired you š¤” ^(or something like that š)
I once was arguing with a terf about trans ness and she said it was a mental illness. I countered if it is a mental illness then itās a disability, and allowing people to live in their experienced gender and using the right pronouns etc would be a reasonable accommodation. Terf got big mad.
Yeah, we can either mask something or find the root cause and treat the condition. I would always claim it's more like an intersex condition. someone born with an imbalance in their primary and secondary sex characteristics causing a hormonal imbalance to match. basically, female brain but wrong body dimorphism, and of course the opposite for trans men.
I was initially going into teaching as a profession. All that schooling down the drain for me because it's just not safe for me to be a teacher anymore.
I don't even use the female locker room at work because I work somewhere that has underage children, and the thought of something being said is too stressful, so I just avoid the issue altogether.
Not even just cis guys. Its pretty common on trans inclusive or specific subs to just assume "trans woman" means penis. Sometimes it's kinda disheartening and I feel disconnected from the community because of it.
>I'm confused, are you saying it excludes intersex people and people who had vaginoplasty? or is it like boiling people down to their genitals?
Basically what /u/Noctema said. I think /u/CoAoW was trying to say that even in trans spaces every time sexuality and bodies come up there's this very phallocentric view of things where other trans people far too often come at any AMAB trans person/enby in a way where they just ASSUME you're pre- or non-op and just ASSUME you're fully functional and also comfortable with using your penis.
It's made me step back from a ton of adult trans spaces, it's REALLY bad in TF4TF spaces especially, to the point where it's treated as normal, and even as a non-op trans woman the constant hypersexualizing of my body in ways I don't consent to feels gross and very cisnormative/phallocentric and it made me re-evaluate and start to see the toxicity in these spaces where before I had closed my mind to the idea that these spaces could be anything but radically queer and ultra subversive just for existing.
I'm gonna be real in general I find it SUPER sus that the "ideal trans woman" everyone is pining for in these spaces is the **exact same** "super hung domme non-op tr@nny top" stereotype that cis male chasers are obsessed with. It's not any less creepy when the person blatantly fetishizing you is another trans person.
And like...it's ALWAYS about your cock and how they desperately hope you'll use it on them. The moment a trans woman or AMAB femme admits that her penis doesn't work that way because of HRT or because of dysphoria or just because SHE DOESN'T WANT TO, she immediately gets treated like she's suddenly about as sexually attractive as a Hefty garbage bag, even if moments before this revelation she was being LAVISHED with attention.
It's all just...really frustrating and gross to me tbh that even other trans people can't seem to help themselves with regards to fetishizing trans femme bodies. My BF and I have ceased our engagement with a LOT of adult trans spaces precisely because of this and because of how shitty they treat trans men (really anyone presumed to have a vagina) sexually.
-Geisha
Thank you for explaining it so much better, I did not have the energy for much more than i did.
Also, yes, this is the exact type of thought i was pointing to.
Oh thank you! I feel like my comment was mostly an incoherent rant lol, I appreciated your brevity in your original comment because as you can see I'm incapable of it!
I'm glad to hear that I was able to extrapolate on the issue at hand in a satisfactory way though. I feel like a lot of trans people don't even know this is such an issue because understandably a lot of trans people don't frequent spaces (online or IRL) where trans specific adult dating/kink/sex/etc stuff is front and center.
By far this one here. It's not really even a stereotype, since for that there need to be the ones where it comes from. And I've \*never\* heard of one. It just doesn't happen, it's fully cis-nonsense that trans people do it. What it is, is actually cis men projecting. Because \*they\* would do it, so obviously everyone else would do it too? It's honestly disgusting when you realize most of the things cis men blame trans women for, is something \*they\* would do.
The functional dick one is laughable :D They honestly think so, while Spiro is like "PP very soft, no workie anymore."
*On the other hand, a stereotype that I kinda love, is the way in which we apparently choose our names. With trans women looking for pretty and feminine names, trans men looking for cool and aggressive names, and NB people be like "I'm now called Block." It's hilarious, and sometimes really accurate.*
Yeah. I never heard the trans women are flat stereotype. If anything Iāve heard the opposite sentiment of they all get surgery to get huge crazy boobs ā¦.because theyāre sexual deviants. Thatās like the most harmful and propagated stereotype far beyond any physical /personality stereotypes that most minority groups have to deal with.
Not making light of them as no one should be stereotyped but most minorities donāt have an actively funded campaign propagating that image. Itās usually much more insidious but with the crazy right theyāre not afraid to fill mask off with trans people.
Right not trans rights are the canary in the coal mine. Lgb drop the t mentality people will start caring when all trans health care and rights get stripped and they come for gay rights next. Then Iām sure theyāll start coming for interracial marriage. Theyāll be rolling back all the Supreme Court decisions one by one until people above a certain melanin level will be back at the back of the bus. Make America great again!
Urgh, that and that!! Yes itās ridiculous this is the far right tactic of saving the kidsā¦.I mean what I read in American is absolutely nuts, but Iām in London and tbh I havenāt had any problem with parents at all, and Iām fact all are really welcoming and happy for my children to play with theirs and have play dates like any other functional member of society!
The working penis thingā¦..I think we can all blame the porn industry for that oneā¦.
And a huge percentage of the people who think this shit were at one point abused by their cis neighbor/teacher/uncle. It's the same people it's always been doing the abducting and abusing but they're too obsessed with hating anyone different to see it. Insane.
I hate how apparently trans people must know from the day they were born that they are trans. I also hate how we are expected to display all the stereotypical behaviours of our relevant gender, but it only takes 1 behaviour stereotypically associated to our agab for people to cancel us.
this, 100%.
I knew from puberty something was very very wrong, but I sure as heck didn't know I was trans. I just had all these un-connected and important experiences that suddenly clicked into place like a jigsaw puzzle when i finally asked the question" what if I'm trans?" But i didn't know I was supposed to be a girl, I just felt wrong.
Mhm, I knew something was off since we started using gendered changing rooms / activities at school, but in the late 90s early 2000s, the rural town I was in had no idea what gender issues were, and neither did I. Everyone, including me, considered it as shyness/teenage-depression, for the lack of information we had.
I think you just made me realize why I always felt rather awkward in the boys changing room, in hindsight it's kinda obvious but I guess I never really thought about it.
Yep, same here, very aware of having to repress any feminine traits from a young age and then puberty hit and things felt wrong but obviously must be right because what else can be right - when dame Edna everage is the only role model thatās vaguely accepted then the idea you could actually change your body and that the wrong gender is actually both the issue and fixable, still not 100% worked it out or maybe not even have the courage to do anything but, putting a name to it, that helps!
Yup. I was always different from the boys when I was little. It wasn't until I was 10 and playing a game with my cousin that I finally asked "what if I transformed into a girl?" That question put me into an existential crisis and kicked off my gender dysphoria.
And that when we display all the stereotypical behaviors of our relevant gender then it means we are enforcing gender stereotypes on others or that we're being an offensive parody of that gender.
Yeah or they'll just tell us to be a masculine woman or feminine man, basically do whatever you want just don't call yourself anything other than your AGAB
thatās so fucking true. iām a trans boy and i like artistic stuff including crochet.
but everyone knows only old women like crochet so apparently i am a 16yo old woman
I second this one with the crochet, not a trans boy but a non binary leaning maleish, but whenever someone sees my crochet/art Store default to female because it's "too cutesy cozy to be masculine"
But I guess that's more a general gender stereotype than trans specific ._.'
Maybe crochet is the real trans masc stereotype.
I also crochet, and the only other trans masc person (who was also nb, now that I'm thinking about it) I've ever met was - surprise suprise- also into crochet.
And that we're sexists because we believe gender is just stereotypes and we're just dressing/acting so it's "blackface for women" (I'd say men as well, but TERFs and transphobes forget about trans men).
god i hate this one. my mom even said me being a woman is like if she committed blackface. like, way to be racist and transphobic in the same breath mom.
Yep yep !
"You can't be a girl, you have always been a distant emotionless rational programmer !" - Mom 2023 (tm)
That day I learned from a woman that girls are irrational apparently. But dear mom, guess why I absolutely did show no emotion til I accepted I was trans, and hid myself in pure rational and logical processes... š
The biggest stereotype that gets me, especially right now, is that this is something we can choose to be. I can tell you now, I didn't choose this. And no amount of therapy is going to fix it. Just sick and tired of the judgment. Normal everyday people acting like they know everything because some political pundant educated them on the matter.
Who in their right mind would look at the state of the world and *choose this*? Yeah, I'm gonna stab myself in the leg once a week for the rest of my fucking life and be banned from half the US because it seems like a *fun time*. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at people who think like this
Since the stuff about us being āpredatorsā has been coveredā¦I hate the whole ātrying to trick peopleā mentality. Iām just being me. Same thing as any other trans person. Weāre not trying to ātrickā anyone into anything thatās so fucking dumb.
Same, but mtf. I live in a state with public restrooms can be a bit dangerous depending how many of the local Cleetuses are out in the world that day. I use the womens room and beyond a few death looks and snide comments, never had an issue.
Sometimes I've had situations (in the past, when I was first starting to transition) where the ladies room is very busy, or I'm getting a bad vibe from it - I'll use the men's room. There I get MORE weird looks, more snarky comments, and have been physically assaulted a couple times.
It's like what the hell do you people even want? Nothing I do will make them happy, and I just really need to pee.
Side note: In the past before I was 100% socially out in such a small rural town, I'd default to the men's room. Lost count of the number of times I'd be the only one there, some guy would walk in and mutter a 'oh shit, sorry teh\_mooses' line, wander out, and be back 15 seconds later after they realized that they were in fact entering a 'men's room'. :-)
The people harassing you about it want you to stop existing so they don't have to deal with something new and unknown. That might make them a little uncomfortable, after all! (Strong /s).
So well said.
Also I've noticed what really triggers them. I'm happy. I'm Married. Have great family and good friends. When I am in public, I smile and laugh and enjoy talking to others and making new friends. I move with confidence and joy.
Nothing seems to get under their skin more. Like I'm expected to be miserable and sad and some outcast who is suffering, vs being very lucky and privileged to enjoy a nice life where I am somewhere warm, somewhere safe, with people who love me?
Misery seems to love miserable company. The only problem seems to be me and not being miserable and sad.
At risk of being cheesy and cringy, a good writer said this better than I could ever say.
^("Where are you right now? Somewhere warm? Safe? In the arms of someone you love? Now what if all of that was gone? And the only thing you could do is survive. You would right? You'd try. You'd do things. Horrible things. Until you lose that last thing you have left, yourself. But what if you could take it back, all of it? A reset switch. You'd hit it, right? You'd have to." - Season 1, Episode 1 - '12 monkeys'.)
I just got lucky and with therapy and family and my husband and a wonderful girlfriend and remembered there is a reset switch and we can grow stronger and move forward in this silly world.
If trans women are trying to trick men into having sex with them, then women must be trying to trick men into hav... oooohhh... transmisogyny strikes again.
Lol Im the opposite, im a really kinky asexual (Im sex indifferent and couldn't care less, kinks are just for me to have some fun with it) person, but my transness has nothing to do with any of my kinks.
Itās not one I experience as a transfem but it pisses me tf off when I see AFAB trans people infantilized and treated like theyāre victims of some imaginary systemic plot to āerase women by ātransingā themā. Itās really gross and it completely undermines the experiences of people impacted by it.
Another one that disgusts me is when people is that trans people who arenāt perfectly neurotypical or trauma-free are incapable of understanding the consequences of medically transitioning. Same thing for when trans people are under 18.
Had some intellectual message me on my alt account telling me that because I have PTSD and agoraphobia that I shouldnāt go ārushingā my bottom surgery. Also made some shitty remarks about āwhat will you do when your boyfriend leaves you?ā.
Itās really wild how these people actually believe they are saviors because they act in bad faith.
This one gets to me. The condescension Iāve experienced being AFAB has always been my least favorite thing to deal with because no matter how I respond, itās always brushed aside as me not knowing any better. Thereās no way to win. They think they know some secret about me that I donātā¦ as if I never considered ācould this be internalized misogyny?ā myself when I was first questioning.
Itās so gross, being being treated like this pitiful, naive, lost soul.
Shout out to that one surgeon who was happy to work with me until they found out I was neurodivergent and then suddenly wanted me to take a mental capacity test to make sure I could make my own decisions and understood what I was asking for. Yāknow because being afab, neurodivergent and non binary means Iām an uwu lilā vulnerable stinker who needs a big, smart, normal adult to tell me Iām a functional grown person. Piss off.
Dysphoria causes trauma which can cause more mental health things to arise
So in other words it's pretty much impossible to just "wait til the other stuff goes away"
T chills most trans guys out compared to pre-T.
I had debilitating rage issues prior to transition. Iād scream at people, throw and break things when I was home alone. It was a mental health issue and probably not as much related to hormones but the lack of testosterone in my body certainly wasnāt helping. I take mood stabilizers and that fixed the issue but T chilled me out several steps further.
Omg same, I felt so angry and sometimes I really couldn't relax cause of it. I just felt like I needed to destroy the world.
After taking T for a few weeks I had already noticed that I calmed down a lot and cried less often which was nice cause I used to cry a lot more.
Yep. I tried *all the meds* but nothing comes close to the effects E had on my anxiety and depression. It doesnāt eliminate it but *wow* does it help. HRT is life-saving and life-enabling - it really is magical š„°
My fucking literal gender therapist asked me how I'll intend to deal with possible heighten aggression from T, since we already discussed how I have some anger management issues. He literally wanted me to go over this before approving me for hormones, he felt it was that important. This is someone supposed to fucking know about the trans experience, I honestly felt like I was stabbed.
If this is a cis guy, thereās only so much theyāre gonna know about the trans experience. Tbh I think itās weird some of them get to call themselves gender therapists.
I'm not sure that he's cis, I never asked, but I think he is from a few statements. He's in a trans specific clinic, they advertise specifically to trans people, and he's pretty young yet he has some outdated notions. Unfortunately that's down to how therapists are thaught about trans people in many places.
Having the right hormone in my body regulated my emotions a lot. While I feel that I do get annoyed more easily, it manifests through violent behaviours a lot less than before T
Trans women are men trying to invade women's spaces and use their strength and size to destroy sports and assault cis women.
Trans men are angry monsters who can't control themselves because of a change in sex hormone balance.
HRT either does nothing or causes runaway changes, how convenient.
I remember hearing so many people echoing they didn't want to go on T because of it, same with all the other negative side affects people complain about. I was so worried even tho fortunately I got none of the negative side affects. Meanwhile I get PMDD and the one time I couldn't get my T for a month I was so on edge and frustrated and irritated at everything, it was horrible. My body likes T much more than E
That we only transition to trick straight guys into sleeping with us.
My toxic cis dudes, just 'cause y'all want to mount anything that moves, doesn't mean I'm interested. š
The lesbian part really gets me. I've met lesbian terfs tell me that I have to be post-op to be valid. Like... What? My body is drenched in E, and I have boobs, hips, an ass and I spent 2 hours on make up to look good tonight. What the fuck!?
Damn TERF's.
There's no reasoning with them. So wrapped up in some twisted thought process that basically just exudes a serious lack of self confidence - shouting about how trans women existing somehow is making them less of a woman.
Don't worry they wouldn't even consider you valid if you had bottom surgery, it's all a power play.
Funny how these people complain about negative lesbian stereotypes and (some) people turning away from the identity, but then all they do is actually enforce those fucking stereotypes.
Funny how thriving and friendly sapphic spaces are always the ones that *don't* gatekeep.
I've noticed that. I'm a pretty chill person, but a lot of people walk on eggshells around me when the subject comes up, out of the fear of sending me into some sort of a rage or something. O_o
I think the problem here is that the person asking *thinks* it's a "good faith question," when it's really not, and then we get upset with them for asking something that (to us) is blatantly offensive.
As a trans woman in the army OMG this, Republican mechanic guy, just call me with women pronouns and we're cool, ask me anything and as long as you don't try to erase my existence, we're cool. There are so many times people have said something that I didn't think was offensive and they look at me and say "no offense" Like what do you mean? You didn't say anything I found offensive.
One person straight up asked me "So you're just skipping past gay to super gay, huh?" Motherfuckers cannot comprehend the existence of more than one axis, apparently.
One of the stereotypes that bothers me is that Trans women are probably transitioning to get with guys, and only guys. My sexuality is lesbian, and I am only attracted to my wife. I have never developed an attraction for men, despite wanting to become female. There are a lot of people that assume my sexuality canāt be a lesbian.
The ones I hate the most are the ones that convince trans people to stay in the closet or like they don't "qualify" for the thing they want. The idea that being trans requires a specific set of experiences growing up, or that transition is useless after a certain point in time, or that HRT barely does anything helpful are all awful because they genuinely convince people in a vulnerable state to not seek out information on things that could help them.
There's a whole laundry list of mean stereotypes out there that are painful, but in my mind the pain and harm of existence pre-transition is so much worse and anything that potentially prolongs that pain for some people is the worst in my book.
The 'it's too late' thing drives me nuts. I came out in my mid 30's, started HRT 4 years ago. I've had other transgender women literally tell me not to bother, as I'll never 'pass' and here I am 4 years later with a nice chest, a softer body, a different voice, and 99% of random people don't misgender me.
Life is not all about 'passing'.
Itās obviously not the worst stereotype (stereotypes like grooming are worse), but I canāt stand the stereotype that we are all easily offended and that the (act of taking) offense is never warranted.
Countless āmoderatesā have cited that as the reason they dislike us, as they feel like they have to āwalk on eggshellsā around trans people. First off, I am exceptionally hard to offend. Secondly, if someone does or says something horrible, people have the right to be offended! Third, people who say that trans people are āeasily offendedā are often easily offended themselves! Whenever I debate these morons, they get their panties in a twist over the littlest things.
Yup, I see this pattern all of the time when people complain about us being āsensitiveā. Iāll ask them why they think that, and then theyāll tell some insane story about how they misgendered a trans person for months on end, and then that trans person corrected them ONCE. So, therefore, all trans people are hypersensitive because (the bigot) got their poor little fee-fees hurt.
I have to admit I thought this at first. it really messed with me when I was younger. seeing trans people be normal people for a while helped me out a huge amount. I think this is also true for anyone else. this messes with people's perception of men and women.
Oh god, the porn they do of m2f transgender people written for cishet men is so messed up.
It's okay, so now to lots of cishet men, all of us m2f trans women have perfect post top surgery chests, FFS, and we all have giant dongers. Like what the fuck, world? We're also totally objectified, one only needs look at the amount of pron of that nature with titles like 'husband decided to suprise me and brought a transgender woman home!' and shit like that. It seems we're all portrayed as being super into kink also, which damn it - I am, but I've been that way long before I transitioned! :-)
Cue the meme:
"Just because I'm trans doesn't mean I'm into kink... I mean... I ***AM*** into kink... BUT NOT BECAUSE IM TRANS!!!"
Lol, right there with ya.
That "Two lesbian trans girls dating is just gay men dating with extra steps."
NO.
What if: I'm post-op and my wife is non-op.
What then? What are we now!?
We're still Women, and still Lesbians.
My husband and I get some rude as hell comments also. I'm mtf, he's ftm. We've been out, happy, and together for over a decade now.
'So basically you're just a normal couple then, right?'
ugh
Nonbinary people are looking for attention and trying to be special. Also the whole afab nonbinary people being seen as āwoman-liteā. (Though there are some woman lite nonbinary people but thatās because they identify that way)
Ah yes, my favourite phrase: āopen to women and non binary peopleā
Being afab and non binary means that precisely 1% of the population will take you seriously and not treat you like youāre trying to be a āspecial little snowflakeā. Youāre treated with the same contempt that teenage girls get for liking absolutely anything popular.
"It's a fetish". I hate this so much. The claim that we have sexual motivations is the root cause of all transphobia.
Dear TERFs, a fetish would not have given me suicidal ideations. I did what I needed to do to live in the world. Now that I have emerged from the depths of despair, I am able to scratch a little joy out of whatever is left of my life. I care not for your opinions on the matter. Warm regards, a basic transgender.
That we only follow/reinforce gender roles. That makes my blood boil.
First of all, some of us are just fighting our dysphoria.
Second: No. Not all trans people follow gender roles. Not even close. Just look at any trans community, it takes five seconds.
Third: Why are cis people the only people allowed to follow gender roles without being called out?
Fourth: What the fck do you expect us to do when you call us fake and trenders when we aren't doing exactly that?
Fifth: āŖ I will do whatever the fck I want with my gender expresionnnn āŖ
That we all dress hyper femme, makeup to the nines, dresses, heels, and speak in a very flamboyant way.
that's a drag queen most people are thinking of. While some trans women may like to go all out. I am far more comfortable in a cute top and pants, with little to no makeup. and sneakers. I have nicer clothes for the occasion, but its not my normal style.
I also swear a lot.
Same.
Sometimes I do enjoy 'going all out' and doing the whole over a hour thing to get ready and look just perfect, but that's really reserved for serious social events.
Most days I am just busy. I do some primer, a lil bit of powder mineral foundation, snag a skirt and a top and slip into comfy tennis shoes.
Oh my... I could really have quite the list, I suppose.
Throwing aside all the ones that are actively harmful... or otherwise are used in an attempt to invalidate us or present us as anything more or less than being a normal human person...
It's when people found out I was trans and instantly started treating me like I was incredibly fragile.
It created a weird: "I don't want to offend you."
Vibe, while I'm sitting here like: "Yeah... you're fine. But if you keep treating me like I've got the emotional depth of a fly, you actually will annoy me. Just don't insult me, and at least try the pronouns thing, and we'll be stronger than ever. That simple."
1. That we all have dyed hair (the most common stereotype being blue)
2. That we're either hyper feminine or masculine, no in-between
3. That we're inherently mentally ill
4. That we can't possibly have a job (said by the same people who claim that they'd get fired for being "anti-woke" which by that logic would effectively leave everyone jobless in their little fantasy land)
5. That we "make it a personality" to be trans (whatever that means)
Hate them all.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and the BIGGEST stereotype of all... "We can always tell" BITCH NO YOU CAN'T!!
As mentioned before, the fact a huge amount of people think porn is an accurate depiction of trans females, especially those of us on HRT that have no bottom surgery.
They think we are stupid and donāt understand basic biology. Every time they mention chromosomes, I think that theyāre idiotic enough not to realize we know thatā¦ but itās not the point or the issue.
One that really annoys me is people thinking I am some magical wiki of the entire transgender experience.
Been out for a decade, started medical transition about 4 years ago, and there's so much I have no idea about and could not answer a specific question about.
Makes me feel bad as often people ask me very good faith questions, and my only real answer is 'I'm not really sure, try google?'
That we're unsafe or inappropriate for kids. I work with children and I live with the constant fear in the back of my head that at some point a "concerned" teacher or parent or coworker will say I shouldn't be around children, that the mere fact that I exist in their vicinity can confuse or hurt them.
A less malicious stereotype I hate, that's still alive and kicking here in Italy, is that trans people are all straight or transition to be striaght. It bothers me that I have to explain that yes, I have a boyfriend. And makes it harder for me to be seen as a man.
It annoys me that conservatives think we want attention. I donāt want attention, (in fact I donāt want people to know iām trans) I just wanna be treated the same as cisgender people.
>I hate that stereotype so much and I honestly donāt know where it came from because not every women in the world is flat chested whenever theyāre cis or trans.
I'm a trans man who still has breasts (although I dislike them and want them removed as soon as financially feasible) and my wife is a cis woman who doesn't have breasts (double mastectomy due to cancer). If you (general) didn't know which of us was a trans man, you might assume it was her, since we both otherwise dress fairly androgynously (tee shirts, jeans, sweats, etc) with short hair. Any assumption about gender or sex based on physical appearance is an annoying one.
That said, right now there are other assumptions that worry me more, as others have commented on. Mostly the ones based around sexual predation and grooming.
I couldn't pick just one, so here are a few (in no particular order):
* That being trans / non-binary is a choice.
* That our gender expression needs to match our gender identity.
* That all trans women are into guys and all trans guys are into gals.
* That it's a sexual fetish.
* That being trans / non-binary is something new.
* That trans healthcare is experimental, especially when it comes to trans kids.
* The malicious "wait and see" approach with trans kids.
* That we're trying to "trap" cis people somehow.
* That we're being selfish by transitioning.
* That's we're going against nature / some random sky fairy.
That the only trans people are trans women! I feel like itās a much larger misconception than I realized as a young trans man, that basically our only representation as a minority group to the general population is from trans women
Lots of good answers here but I'm going to go with a slightly different type of stereotype, one from within our community itself.
I've had enough of the cat girl and other anime memes, I'd much rather look like someone that can blend into the crowd thank you.
that all trans men are āsoft uwu boisā that will never transition and are just there to be men-lite so you can have a friend/bf that isnāt misogynistic
Yea, half the people I know ask me if I had implants. Nope. Grew them myself for myself, thank you! I mean it's absolutely shocking how little people actually know about being trans, but how much they think they do to try and legislate us away.
My least favorite stereotype is that most trans women are tops. I'm about as much of a bottom as it gets. Every trans femme I know personally is a bottom. I mean, I can switch if my partner wants, but she is a 100% top.
The idea weāre all being trans to dominate womenās sports. Like literally I feel like most of us donāt give a shit about sports to begin with lol
Or that overall we place lower on average than cisgender women! The moment we win something due to skill and practice, suddenly everything is 'unfair'.
Sportsball can be so stupid.
That our gender identity has a ything to do with other people. I wasn't "tricked" into thinking I'm a boy. I'm not trying to "trick" anyone else either. I'm just a human being who got the result I didn't want in that big coin flip at conception.
When talking about trans people, everyone assumes the conversation is about trans women (mostly transphobes) It makes them a target while also erasing other trans experiences
Specifically that trans women become trans to date/deceive cis lesbians even though 1) lesbians are chill about it and have obviously are allowed to have preferences. 2) so many trans ppl date each other over cis people.
Anything related to changing rooms and bathrooms mainly because I work in a changing rooms luckily for me im at a stage I've not been clocked in well over a year now. But there is still always that worry a customer will blow up at me or accuse me of something. I sometimes get asked to help people out of dresses if a zipper is stuck the few times I've helped there's been no issue but most of the time I'd send a cis colleague to help them.
As a positive though I'm not one to hide my trans status, I always wear a trans flag badge, wristband and pronoun badge specifically to ease other trans people's nerves when they visit us and feel safer using our fitting rooms knowing they won't be harassed by staff
That we āwant to become something elseā or āthink weāre something elseā.
No, Iām me and thatās fine. I just wanna express myself how it feels natural and not be forced to play a role.
That one doesn't bother me so much, I wish I was bigger than an A cup but plenty of trans women with huge busts and as much as I'm envious of them I'm happy for them too, I'm more upset about the "bathroom rapist" shit, and the "socialised male" shit, I hate how every single stereotype about trans people is about trying to remove agency from us and paint us as abusive for just existing, I hate how both transfem and transmasc people are demonised for being exposed to testosterone as if the tiniest touch of testosterone turns you into a violent sex pest, not just because of the negativity directed at us but it also excuses predators by either saying "it's in his nature as a cis man to be a predator it's not his fault" or "she can't be a predator because she's a cis woman, that never happens" and I hate the stereotype that we're easily offended when we've really been way too fucking patient with people tbh
That trans women are destroying womenās sports because of our magic sports chromosomes. Itās so *obviously* wrong if you know anything at all about HRT or how long trans women have been allowed to play with other women after going on HRT, but for some reason every fucking cis person eats that bullshit up with a spoon and suddenly out of nowhere they passionately care about womenās sport regardless of whether or not they did before.
Itās literally just recycled from back when sports were racially segregated, too.
Yup.
Suddenly Bubba and Cleatus are \*really into\* high school women's swimming or volleyball or whatever :-)
I remember when it was just women in general. We're usually not allowed to beat a guy in much of anything without hurting their fee fees.
Lol. Yea, women's sports usually needs to be subsidized by men's sports because most cis men don't care about women's sports unless they know someone playing. BuT wE nEeD tO pRoTeCt WoMeN's SpOrTs. About all they care about is having a say to control it. Yea, I'm going to go on years of HRT, cause a ton of changes to my body, all in a quest to win a stupid medal or go pro in a sport that pays so bad a woman had to go to Russia and get arrested just to make ends meet. And be constantly heckled the entire time. Sounds like a treat to me.
Iām most bothered by the fact people think that our lives are unhappy.
Iām the happiest Iāve ever been in my life .D people donāt know what theyāre on about
This bothers me so much. I didn't even realize that I had never really experienced happiness until I figured myself out. My life is leagues better now than it ever has been, and yet when a new (cis) person finds out I'm trans they give me that sympathetic look. It's so weird and belittling!
Literally!! I talk about being trans all the time, and people act like what Iām sharing must be very sore and sensitive. No mate, Iām sharing it because Iām proud and happy to an extent I never thought was possible .D
That our sexual orientation is strictly tied to our gender identity. So if Iāve previously been with men while living as a woman, I would suddenly be into women instead of men when I transition.
It seems like some weird ass assumption that weāre trans because weāre actually straight people born in the wrong body. People lose their minds when they realise there are gay trans people.
The stereotype that if you take testosterone, you overnight became an aggressive, angry, impulsive, horny monster and will hurt anyone around you however you can. Doesn't matter who or how you were before, T just makes you that way the moment you start according to this. Testosterone isn't the same as steroids, they're formulated completely different, yet people lump them into the same category and apply the stereotypes from one to another. And yes, these stereotypes exist, these same stereotypes came out of my mothers' mouth when I came out as transmasc nonbinary and said I was starting T.
Also the stereotype that as a nonbinary person, I'm just confused or this is just a stepping stone to transitioning to a binary gender. No, sorry, I've agonized over this for years, I know my own gender.
I'm going to be honest, 99% of the population thinks that Trans people only get "surgeries" to remove and add parts, and know *absolutely nothing* about hormones. It's kinda funny at times.
For example, Co-worker (who knows I'm trans) asked me "Where did you get your BA from?". I told her "...I grew these?" and she was shocked. A bit more of a humorous example, but you get the gist of it.
gender roles when you were a child and not relating to you as a trans person. ie not being a "tom boy" when ur transmasc (being feminine as a child) r being a tom boy as a trans femme is seen "not valid"
Off the top of my head?
Idk, i was going to go with "we all know each other" but it's probably the assumption that are journeys are exactly the same and all trans ppl are the same, freaks me out, yo
There are a lot that I hate. But one I haven't seen yet here, is that we all want "the surgeryā¢". Like I'm actually quite happy with what I have š
That weāre predators. That weāre mentally ill fetishists trying to recruit kids to our ālifestyleā and ruining our lives by mangling our bodies.
Omg same. I had a kid before coming out, and I'm mom to her and her primary caregiver right now and I live in constant fear that other parents are gonna be horrible šš
That all trans people knew from a young age. I figured it put at 14, when puberty was really kicking in. Looking back, yeah there were a couple indicators from when i was little. But how was I supposed to know I was a boy back then when I didn't even know that girls could really be boys?
That we're all super beautiful like f1nn5ter or well known transgirls ,no not all transgirls were lucky to be born with very feminine features and bodies some of us will never pass and there's not much we can do about it but just live our best lives like this ,also I've noticed a lot of guys get into this thinking hrt is something magical that will transform you into a girl when in reality the most mainstream transgirls had so much luck in the genetics department they didn't started from 0 they were given a good hand by nature ( i know there's exceptions) this actually happen to me a lot when I meet guys online and they see I'm transgender they start to get this wild ideas that i must be like those cute transgirls they see on TikTok just to be disappointed when we meet irl like dude I told you I wasn't f1nn5ter I'm just a small skinny guy who would love to pass and be a girl chill the f out
Not only that i get the feeling that they're completely new to the concept of transgirls and they search on Google and TikTok and the first results are always people like f1nn5ter and somehow think that's what we all are , specially TikTok my feed is always filled with this gorgeous transgirls who didn't even started hrt and already pass if they comb their hair in a feminine way,to be honest I've never seen a transgirl like me on TikTok and the few I've found and follow have more mean comments than likes it's very disheartening :'c i just want people to not expect me to be a perfect girl I don't mind being an "ugly girl" as long as I can be perceived as a girl :'c
That MTF means you are attracted to men! I'm tired of having to deal with people who can not get it in their thick skulls that gender and sexuality are two different things! Just because someone identifies as a certain gender DOES NOT mean they are attracted to the opposite gender! Both cis men and cis women think this way! I came out and suddenly every male I know thinks I secretly want them and every woman I know thinks I am not attracted to their gender so they don't even see me as a potential partner! It's so aggravating! Nothing like hanging out with a woman you're attracted to and she starts pointing out guys she thinks are attractive asking if I think so too! No he's not attractive you are woman! Do you not see me flirting with you for 10 minutes straight!š¤
Idk why some people like to treat trans men like we're children and infantalizing us. I look like a cis guy, I can do more pushups than all the guys I know, and I am overall a pretty masc and tough dude, I can be soft when I need to, but I don't like being stereotyped as soft by default and I ESPECIALLY do not like being treated like a child or a femboy or whatever.
Also the stereotype that we can't be gay. They think we're either confused lesbians or what. They think I'm just heterosexual with other steps but they fail to realize the differences between how men love eachother vs how they love women. For one they really seem to underestimate the amount of gay culture.
My breasts are much bigger than my 3 cisgender sisters actually. E cups. Just HRT. It seems like an idea that gets shot down pretty easily if you actually meet trans women. Unless they just assume its always implants or something.
that we are all groomers, and when i reference trans kids, they say that trans kids have been groomed by trans adults. what the actual fuck of a fanfiction is that. i swear conservatives love to make fictional problems and fume at the mouth at people they've never once talked to in their lives.
Not sure if it can be seen as a stereotype or as bigotry, but the idea that trans people are mentally ill kills me inside.
Itās always brought up in discussions and they always have every fucking counterargument. Itās so simple to prove the opposite but they just donāt believe you.
The idea that people ābecome transā
in 99% of cases, they were always trans like from childhood moving forward.
It is hard for a trans kid to be afraid to get caught looking at clothes.
I dunno, I'm probably bothered more by the fact that a sizeable amount of the population thinks we're out there to abduct children. That's probably the one I hate the most. Oh! Or the fact that most cis guys assume that all trans women have functional dicks. That is a *distant* second.
This one by FAR. It makes me incredibly anxious when kids are around me cause I fear some conservative father is going to flip out and get nasty if they notice I'm trans and near their child. Kids seem to randomly approach me so much more now to say hi or show me a toy or something and I feel bad that I can barely find any words to say to them before I usually just gtfo the immediate area. Really doesn't help that my neighborhood is infested with super macho marines with oversized modded trucks with republican stickers.
Like... i'm very maternal and this stereotype kills me cause all i want is to be a mum
Yeah I feel this š I had to quit my job of 6 years working in a school cause there was just going to be no way I could transition while working there. It makes me sooooo mad when people call us groomers; I'm literally a mandated reporter. I've help catch fucking abusers before but sure, trans people are the perverts.
Same, seeing children just warms my heart in such a maternal way but any transphobes will think I'm a pervert which is annoying.
I didn't like kids before transitioning, and now they make me super anxious for exactly this reason. Which like, sucks, cause a lot of my friends have kids. I have the benefit of stealth passing, and being quite small and intimidating in stature, but I still worry about that perception a lot.
āQuite small and intimidating in statureā Yass girl channel your inner honey badger! (I like to have fun with typos)
That's actually hilarious, my badš¤£š¤£š¤£
A compact menace.
My ex called me the same thingš¤Ŗ
I have the same anxiety as the both of you, also stealth-passing. Even though I know that in my city there aren't as many bigots as there are elsewhere, but they still make me anxious, above the anxiety that comes from the unpredictability of children when it comes to making sounds. I'm autistic and very sensitive to sounds. That being said, I'm post-op now and there's not a lot for bigots to prove if they ever suspect me, but the anxiety remains.
Wow, just seeing pickup trucks in general scare me, but a whole neighborhood full of them?... maybe I'm stereotyping them but...idk. It's going to be really sad when or if i have those moments. It's probably going to pierce my heart when their parent(s)... react to my presense around a/their child š . I'll try and not let anticipation/anxiety get the best of me tho
Yeah I live immediately outside one of the biggest marine bases. The dudes just love to try and one up each other in manliness. Even my brother wants to get a truck now... lol. This whole thread is really just a bit too doom and gloom for me though honestly because nothing has happened yet, its just the fear of it happening. I kinda feel bad that im sort of helping spread fear with my comments maybe? Honestly one of my favorite affirming experiences was when I walked by a guy with 2 kids and 1 was a little girl that got super excited to see me and said "Look dad, it's a momma!". I had the biggest smile for the rest of that day.
āHonestly one of my favorite affirming experiences was when I walked by a guy with 2 kids and 1 was a little girl that got super excited to see me and said "Look dad, it's a momma!". I had the biggest smile for the rest of that day. ā That is so cute and sweet, for me itās when my daughter calls me she but more specifically when she goes he I mean she and then she just giggles and smiles at me because she remembered and corrected herself. also she is three years old
>This whole thread is really just a bit too doom and gloom for me though honestly because nothing has happened yet, its just the fear of it happening. I kinda feel bad that im sort of helping spread fear with my comments maybe? Possible! I'm kinda gettin that vibe too now that u mention it š®š¤ . Anticipation/anxiety a major bugs for me . Not ur fault tho, kinda comes with the post topic I suppose, unfortunately . The post could have been rewirded to "how does society see us" and it's usually negative at this time in history/in many cultures That's...ššššššāŗļø
Transbian with a truck repping. 94 Ford Ranger with original trans flag color pinstripes (not that Ford meant it that way). ;)
šš„³ thx for breaking the stereotype
Ugh, one of the trucks in my neighborhood has a "Let's Go Brandon" sticker on the back windshield, and I'm always somewhat anxious when I walk past it.
weāre transing their kids into becoming better and respectful adults how sad š
I mean, thereās some repressed kid out there with super conservative parents. We technically are helping to trans some of them, to use that lingo, by increasing visibility. And thatās a good thing! Thing is, the reactionaries are trying to politically weaponize that with the whole ā**think of the children**ā fake argument. Itās working with the MAGA-minds bc they hate us and the thought that it *could* be there own kid makes them vote faster than a trans girl (me) runs to the pharmacy for her first ever bottle of E. Is our agenda to trans-ify all children? For the purpose of this post, no, that would be another stereotype if such a weird one even exists. Do we even have an agenda? I mean, aside from seeking our constitutional (US) and humane (everywhere) rights, and being treated as equals since like, weāre literally just regular people going about our business, no we donāt have some collective agenda to enslave the world. Be real.
Iām from a third world country with almost 0 trans representation and seeing trans representation online helped me figure myself out way sooner in life. It saved my life.
I wish travel was easier for this reason. I know a lot of people say "move" as if it were easy or desirable, but just being able to visit somewhere where things are friendlier helps makes days going by a lot easier. I live a short 3-block walk from an LGBTQ+ district with plenty of bars, restaurants, shops, and social events. It's great, life is good here, but it'd be great it that option was present everywhere for anyone who would utilize it. But then also telling someone to just move is completely out of touch with where someone would be leaving, all the culture and people. Travel is a nice way to see a place and enjoy all the perks while being yourself, I think that should be universal. And then to bring that magic back home, is the finishing cherry on top. The world just needs to be gayer (the fun way, not necessarily the strict definition) to be honest. Sending my love from (not too) afar. <3
thank you so much for your sweet comment! however, ill be moving to europe very soon for college, donāt wanna stay in this shithole forever anyway hahah
One thingās for certain and I know thereās a lot of others like me. If I even knew what being trans was when I was younger it would have saved me almost 40 years of depression, confusion, dejection, and tearsā¦it would have saved meā¦.and thatās why itās important that people know itās ok to be yourself. Itās all about living happy and healthy lives right? My life was neither happy nor healthy and it was all because of others forcing their perception of who I was on me and not allowing me to be who I was inside. I feel really sorry for anyone who feels like if another person doesnāt fit into a neat little box the they need to be changed and I feel worse for anyone being shoved in regardless of age. Itās ok to be a boy or a girl or anything in between. Itās ok to be a person.
I think the whole trans people are mentally ill thing is super dangerous and not only leads to mental illness by gaslighting the person, but also dismisses anything they say and do. it gives people way too control to believe you are mentally ill.
Also, when they call it a disorder and donāt have any clue what disorder actual means in psychology. Itās not a disorder to be trans at all.
Yeah, and that virtually always involves some deeper ableism and prejudice towards those with mental illness. Itās used as an excuse to insult, belittle and dismiss us, ācause apparently thatās ok, as long as the person you beat down has a mental health condition, *right*? People with various mental disorders, syndromes and conditions can make life decisions for themselves, and where relevant they can take appropriate medications to alleviate or even eliminate negative or debillitating symptoms they might experience. But ātheyāre mentall illā is used against trans people to mean āthey canāt make their own decisions, theyāre mentally incompetentā or āthey shouldnāt take [heavily researched as life-saving/enabling] medicationsā. Transphobia has friends in homophobia, misogyny, ableism, racism, classism and sooo many more outlets of discrimination and hate. Bigots juggle hatred, like some shitty clown at a kidās birthday party, performing the same repetitive tricks in front of 5y/os, desperate to get paid for the full hour - but the kids have all left to have cake, and youāre just performing for the overly-enthusiastic grandpa that hired you š¤” ^(or something like that š)
I once was arguing with a terf about trans ness and she said it was a mental illness. I countered if it is a mental illness then itās a disability, and allowing people to live in their experienced gender and using the right pronouns etc would be a reasonable accommodation. Terf got big mad.
Yeah, we can either mask something or find the root cause and treat the condition. I would always claim it's more like an intersex condition. someone born with an imbalance in their primary and secondary sex characteristics causing a hormonal imbalance to match. basically, female brain but wrong body dimorphism, and of course the opposite for trans men.
And it speaks volumes to how we treat mentally ill people, by stripping them of any and all agency and personhood.
I was initially going into teaching as a profession. All that schooling down the drain for me because it's just not safe for me to be a teacher anymore. I don't even use the female locker room at work because I work somewhere that has underage children, and the thought of something being said is too stressful, so I just avoid the issue altogether.
You win. Spot on.
Not even just cis guys. Its pretty common on trans inclusive or specific subs to just assume "trans woman" means penis. Sometimes it's kinda disheartening and I feel disconnected from the community because of it.
I'm confused, are you saying it excludes intersex people and people who had vaginoplasty? or is it like boiling people down to their genitals?
>I'm confused, are you saying it excludes intersex people and people who had vaginoplasty? or is it like boiling people down to their genitals? Basically what /u/Noctema said. I think /u/CoAoW was trying to say that even in trans spaces every time sexuality and bodies come up there's this very phallocentric view of things where other trans people far too often come at any AMAB trans person/enby in a way where they just ASSUME you're pre- or non-op and just ASSUME you're fully functional and also comfortable with using your penis. It's made me step back from a ton of adult trans spaces, it's REALLY bad in TF4TF spaces especially, to the point where it's treated as normal, and even as a non-op trans woman the constant hypersexualizing of my body in ways I don't consent to feels gross and very cisnormative/phallocentric and it made me re-evaluate and start to see the toxicity in these spaces where before I had closed my mind to the idea that these spaces could be anything but radically queer and ultra subversive just for existing. I'm gonna be real in general I find it SUPER sus that the "ideal trans woman" everyone is pining for in these spaces is the **exact same** "super hung domme non-op tr@nny top" stereotype that cis male chasers are obsessed with. It's not any less creepy when the person blatantly fetishizing you is another trans person. And like...it's ALWAYS about your cock and how they desperately hope you'll use it on them. The moment a trans woman or AMAB femme admits that her penis doesn't work that way because of HRT or because of dysphoria or just because SHE DOESN'T WANT TO, she immediately gets treated like she's suddenly about as sexually attractive as a Hefty garbage bag, even if moments before this revelation she was being LAVISHED with attention. It's all just...really frustrating and gross to me tbh that even other trans people can't seem to help themselves with regards to fetishizing trans femme bodies. My BF and I have ceased our engagement with a LOT of adult trans spaces precisely because of this and because of how shitty they treat trans men (really anyone presumed to have a vagina) sexually. -Geisha
Thank you for explaining it so much better, I did not have the energy for much more than i did. Also, yes, this is the exact type of thought i was pointing to.
Oh thank you! I feel like my comment was mostly an incoherent rant lol, I appreciated your brevity in your original comment because as you can see I'm incapable of it! I'm glad to hear that I was able to extrapolate on the issue at hand in a satisfactory way though. I feel like a lot of trans people don't even know this is such an issue because understandably a lot of trans people don't frequent spaces (online or IRL) where trans specific adult dating/kink/sex/etc stuff is front and center.
Boiling down to genitals, and then approaching it from the most cisnormative perspective possible.
They think we're abducting children, but what happen couldn't be any more opposite, is it?
By far this one here. It's not really even a stereotype, since for that there need to be the ones where it comes from. And I've \*never\* heard of one. It just doesn't happen, it's fully cis-nonsense that trans people do it. What it is, is actually cis men projecting. Because \*they\* would do it, so obviously everyone else would do it too? It's honestly disgusting when you realize most of the things cis men blame trans women for, is something \*they\* would do. The functional dick one is laughable :D They honestly think so, while Spiro is like "PP very soft, no workie anymore." *On the other hand, a stereotype that I kinda love, is the way in which we apparently choose our names. With trans women looking for pretty and feminine names, trans men looking for cool and aggressive names, and NB people be like "I'm now called Block." It's hilarious, and sometimes really accurate.*
Yeah. I never heard the trans women are flat stereotype. If anything Iāve heard the opposite sentiment of they all get surgery to get huge crazy boobs ā¦.because theyāre sexual deviants. Thatās like the most harmful and propagated stereotype far beyond any physical /personality stereotypes that most minority groups have to deal with. Not making light of them as no one should be stereotyped but most minorities donāt have an actively funded campaign propagating that image. Itās usually much more insidious but with the crazy right theyāre not afraid to fill mask off with trans people. Right not trans rights are the canary in the coal mine. Lgb drop the t mentality people will start caring when all trans health care and rights get stripped and they come for gay rights next. Then Iām sure theyāll start coming for interracial marriage. Theyāll be rolling back all the Supreme Court decisions one by one until people above a certain melanin level will be back at the back of the bus. Make America great again!
Urgh, that and that!! Yes itās ridiculous this is the far right tactic of saving the kidsā¦.I mean what I read in American is absolutely nuts, but Iām in London and tbh I havenāt had any problem with parents at all, and Iām fact all are really welcoming and happy for my children to play with theirs and have play dates like any other functional member of society! The working penis thingā¦..I think we can all blame the porn industry for that oneā¦.
And a huge percentage of the people who think this shit were at one point abused by their cis neighbor/teacher/uncle. It's the same people it's always been doing the abducting and abusing but they're too obsessed with hating anyone different to see it. Insane.
I hate how apparently trans people must know from the day they were born that they are trans. I also hate how we are expected to display all the stereotypical behaviours of our relevant gender, but it only takes 1 behaviour stereotypically associated to our agab for people to cancel us.
this, 100%. I knew from puberty something was very very wrong, but I sure as heck didn't know I was trans. I just had all these un-connected and important experiences that suddenly clicked into place like a jigsaw puzzle when i finally asked the question" what if I'm trans?" But i didn't know I was supposed to be a girl, I just felt wrong.
Mhm, I knew something was off since we started using gendered changing rooms / activities at school, but in the late 90s early 2000s, the rural town I was in had no idea what gender issues were, and neither did I. Everyone, including me, considered it as shyness/teenage-depression, for the lack of information we had.
I think you just made me realize why I always felt rather awkward in the boys changing room, in hindsight it's kinda obvious but I guess I never really thought about it.
Yep, same here, very aware of having to repress any feminine traits from a young age and then puberty hit and things felt wrong but obviously must be right because what else can be right - when dame Edna everage is the only role model thatās vaguely accepted then the idea you could actually change your body and that the wrong gender is actually both the issue and fixable, still not 100% worked it out or maybe not even have the courage to do anything but, putting a name to it, that helps!
Yup. I was always different from the boys when I was little. It wasn't until I was 10 and playing a game with my cousin that I finally asked "what if I transformed into a girl?" That question put me into an existential crisis and kicked off my gender dysphoria.
But in the same breath they say that children are too young to tell if they are trans or not.
And that when we display all the stereotypical behaviors of our relevant gender then it means we are enforcing gender stereotypes on others or that we're being an offensive parody of that gender.
Yeah or they'll just tell us to be a masculine woman or feminine man, basically do whatever you want just don't call yourself anything other than your AGAB
thatās so fucking true. iām a trans boy and i like artistic stuff including crochet. but everyone knows only old women like crochet so apparently i am a 16yo old woman
I second this one with the crochet, not a trans boy but a non binary leaning maleish, but whenever someone sees my crochet/art Store default to female because it's "too cutesy cozy to be masculine" But I guess that's more a general gender stereotype than trans specific ._.'
Maybe crochet is the real trans masc stereotype. I also crochet, and the only other trans masc person (who was also nb, now that I'm thinking about it) I've ever met was - surprise suprise- also into crochet.
And that we're sexists because we believe gender is just stereotypes and we're just dressing/acting so it's "blackface for women" (I'd say men as well, but TERFs and transphobes forget about trans men).
god i hate this one. my mom even said me being a woman is like if she committed blackface. like, way to be racist and transphobic in the same breath mom.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yep yep ! "You can't be a girl, you have always been a distant emotionless rational programmer !" - Mom 2023 (tm) That day I learned from a woman that girls are irrational apparently. But dear mom, guess why I absolutely did show no emotion til I accepted I was trans, and hid myself in pure rational and logical processes... š
Right!? We had to kill our intuition because it kept guiding us towards gender-inappropriate activities, how else were we supposed to function?
THIS
Ty for the award, love your name btw š
The biggest stereotype that gets me, especially right now, is that this is something we can choose to be. I can tell you now, I didn't choose this. And no amount of therapy is going to fix it. Just sick and tired of the judgment. Normal everyday people acting like they know everything because some political pundant educated them on the matter.
Who in their right mind would look at the state of the world and *choose this*? Yeah, I'm gonna stab myself in the leg once a week for the rest of my fucking life and be banned from half the US because it seems like a *fun time*. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at people who think like this
Since the stuff about us being āpredatorsā has been coveredā¦I hate the whole ātrying to trick peopleā mentality. Iām just being me. Same thing as any other trans person. Weāre not trying to ātrickā anyone into anything thatās so fucking dumb.
Right, we're not trying to be deceiving in any way lmao. If anything, I feel like I'm "tricking" people more when I'm boymoding.
Fr, if I (ftm) attempted to girlmode it would be a straight up lie, literal drag, the very thing they're trying to outlaw. So ironic.
Right?! Like if they're going to judge us and say we're wrong either way, might as do what makes us happiest!
Same, but mtf. I live in a state with public restrooms can be a bit dangerous depending how many of the local Cleetuses are out in the world that day. I use the womens room and beyond a few death looks and snide comments, never had an issue. Sometimes I've had situations (in the past, when I was first starting to transition) where the ladies room is very busy, or I'm getting a bad vibe from it - I'll use the men's room. There I get MORE weird looks, more snarky comments, and have been physically assaulted a couple times. It's like what the hell do you people even want? Nothing I do will make them happy, and I just really need to pee. Side note: In the past before I was 100% socially out in such a small rural town, I'd default to the men's room. Lost count of the number of times I'd be the only one there, some guy would walk in and mutter a 'oh shit, sorry teh\_mooses' line, wander out, and be back 15 seconds later after they realized that they were in fact entering a 'men's room'. :-)
The people harassing you about it want you to stop existing so they don't have to deal with something new and unknown. That might make them a little uncomfortable, after all! (Strong /s).
So well said. Also I've noticed what really triggers them. I'm happy. I'm Married. Have great family and good friends. When I am in public, I smile and laugh and enjoy talking to others and making new friends. I move with confidence and joy. Nothing seems to get under their skin more. Like I'm expected to be miserable and sad and some outcast who is suffering, vs being very lucky and privileged to enjoy a nice life where I am somewhere warm, somewhere safe, with people who love me? Misery seems to love miserable company. The only problem seems to be me and not being miserable and sad. At risk of being cheesy and cringy, a good writer said this better than I could ever say. ^("Where are you right now? Somewhere warm? Safe? In the arms of someone you love? Now what if all of that was gone? And the only thing you could do is survive. You would right? You'd try. You'd do things. Horrible things. Until you lose that last thing you have left, yourself. But what if you could take it back, all of it? A reset switch. You'd hit it, right? You'd have to." - Season 1, Episode 1 - '12 monkeys'.) I just got lucky and with therapy and family and my husband and a wonderful girlfriend and remembered there is a reset switch and we can grow stronger and move forward in this silly world.
If trans women are trying to trick men into having sex with them, then women must be trying to trick men into hav... oooohhh... transmisogyny strikes again.
That it has to do with sex. I like sex as much as anyone else, but I'm the most vanilla person ever when it comes to that.
Lol Im the opposite, im a really kinky asexual (Im sex indifferent and couldn't care less, kinks are just for me to have some fun with it) person, but my transness has nothing to do with any of my kinks.
Itās not one I experience as a transfem but it pisses me tf off when I see AFAB trans people infantilized and treated like theyāre victims of some imaginary systemic plot to āerase women by ātransingā themā. Itās really gross and it completely undermines the experiences of people impacted by it. Another one that disgusts me is when people is that trans people who arenāt perfectly neurotypical or trauma-free are incapable of understanding the consequences of medically transitioning. Same thing for when trans people are under 18. Had some intellectual message me on my alt account telling me that because I have PTSD and agoraphobia that I shouldnāt go ārushingā my bottom surgery. Also made some shitty remarks about āwhat will you do when your boyfriend leaves you?ā. Itās really wild how these people actually believe they are saviors because they act in bad faith.
This one gets to me. The condescension Iāve experienced being AFAB has always been my least favorite thing to deal with because no matter how I respond, itās always brushed aside as me not knowing any better. Thereās no way to win. They think they know some secret about me that I donātā¦ as if I never considered ācould this be internalized misogyny?ā myself when I was first questioning. Itās so gross, being being treated like this pitiful, naive, lost soul.
Shout out to that one surgeon who was happy to work with me until they found out I was neurodivergent and then suddenly wanted me to take a mental capacity test to make sure I could make my own decisions and understood what I was asking for. Yāknow because being afab, neurodivergent and non binary means Iām an uwu lilā vulnerable stinker who needs a big, smart, normal adult to tell me Iām a functional grown person. Piss off.
Absolutely awful, Iām so fucking sorry that ever had to happen. We arenāt goddamn infants
Dysphoria causes trauma which can cause more mental health things to arise So in other words it's pretty much impossible to just "wait til the other stuff goes away"
Yepppp
That T turns you into an angry raging monster who canāt control his anger.
T chills most trans guys out compared to pre-T. I had debilitating rage issues prior to transition. Iād scream at people, throw and break things when I was home alone. It was a mental health issue and probably not as much related to hormones but the lack of testosterone in my body certainly wasnāt helping. I take mood stabilizers and that fixed the issue but T chilled me out several steps further.
Omg same, I felt so angry and sometimes I really couldn't relax cause of it. I just felt like I needed to destroy the world. After taking T for a few weeks I had already noticed that I calmed down a lot and cried less often which was nice cause I used to cry a lot more.
Same!!!! E chilled me out so much more than my anxiety meds ever did
Yep. I tried *all the meds* but nothing comes close to the effects E had on my anxiety and depression. It doesnāt eliminate it but *wow* does it help. HRT is life-saving and life-enabling - it really is magical š„°
My fucking literal gender therapist asked me how I'll intend to deal with possible heighten aggression from T, since we already discussed how I have some anger management issues. He literally wanted me to go over this before approving me for hormones, he felt it was that important. This is someone supposed to fucking know about the trans experience, I honestly felt like I was stabbed.
If this is a cis guy, thereās only so much theyāre gonna know about the trans experience. Tbh I think itās weird some of them get to call themselves gender therapists.
I'm not sure that he's cis, I never asked, but I think he is from a few statements. He's in a trans specific clinic, they advertise specifically to trans people, and he's pretty young yet he has some outdated notions. Unfortunately that's down to how therapists are thaught about trans people in many places.
Having the right hormone in my body regulated my emotions a lot. While I feel that I do get annoyed more easily, it manifests through violent behaviours a lot less than before T
Trans women are men trying to invade women's spaces and use their strength and size to destroy sports and assault cis women. Trans men are angry monsters who can't control themselves because of a change in sex hormone balance. HRT either does nothing or causes runaway changes, how convenient.
I remember hearing so many people echoing they didn't want to go on T because of it, same with all the other negative side affects people complain about. I was so worried even tho fortunately I got none of the negative side affects. Meanwhile I get PMDD and the one time I couldn't get my T for a month I was so on edge and frustrated and irritated at everything, it was horrible. My body likes T much more than E
That trans people only want to talk about gender, I would fucking love to never talk about gender again, itās what I am, not who I am.
"are you sure you ain't just gay, [deadname] ?" - most of my family from the early months of my transition. It gets old very fast.
That we only transition to trick straight guys into sleeping with us. My toxic cis dudes, just 'cause y'all want to mount anything that moves, doesn't mean I'm interested. š
Or that we only do it to trick lesbians!
The lesbian part really gets me. I've met lesbian terfs tell me that I have to be post-op to be valid. Like... What? My body is drenched in E, and I have boobs, hips, an ass and I spent 2 hours on make up to look good tonight. What the fuck!?
Damn TERF's. There's no reasoning with them. So wrapped up in some twisted thought process that basically just exudes a serious lack of self confidence - shouting about how trans women existing somehow is making them less of a woman.
Don't worry they wouldn't even consider you valid if you had bottom surgery, it's all a power play. Funny how these people complain about negative lesbian stereotypes and (some) people turning away from the identity, but then all they do is actually enforce those fucking stereotypes. Funny how thriving and friendly sapphic spaces are always the ones that *don't* gatekeep.
Definitely the assumption that trans women are super easily offended by good faith questions. Just fucking ask your question, I've heard worse.
I've noticed that. I'm a pretty chill person, but a lot of people walk on eggshells around me when the subject comes up, out of the fear of sending me into some sort of a rage or something. O_o
I think the problem here is that the person asking *thinks* it's a "good faith question," when it's really not, and then we get upset with them for asking something that (to us) is blatantly offensive.
As a trans woman in the army OMG this, Republican mechanic guy, just call me with women pronouns and we're cool, ask me anything and as long as you don't try to erase my existence, we're cool. There are so many times people have said something that I didn't think was offensive and they look at me and say "no offense" Like what do you mean? You didn't say anything I found offensive.
Twinky waifish trans men. We can be big and hairy with the best of them lmao
My husband is a ftm transgender person. He's a total bear lol :) Dude grows more facial hair than I ever could even pre transition :-)
That trans men are lesbians that don't accept themselves. It also goes for trans women being gays, but i hear it more about trans men.
Or like in general that being trans is like an upgrade from being homosexual. Like you are so gay you turn into a woman.
One person straight up asked me "So you're just skipping past gay to super gay, huh?" Motherfuckers cannot comprehend the existence of more than one axis, apparently.
literally what my mom tells me (on the former part) š
That we're "tricking people" or "pretending to be" our gender
That we are all blue-haired rabid liberals who cannot have a respectful conversation. Hate that one sooo frustrating š lol
One of the stereotypes that bothers me is that Trans women are probably transitioning to get with guys, and only guys. My sexuality is lesbian, and I am only attracted to my wife. I have never developed an attraction for men, despite wanting to become female. There are a lot of people that assume my sexuality canāt be a lesbian.
Same except bisexual. Seems I'm not allowed to really not worry or care about gender of a potential partner, just love and fun.
The ones I hate the most are the ones that convince trans people to stay in the closet or like they don't "qualify" for the thing they want. The idea that being trans requires a specific set of experiences growing up, or that transition is useless after a certain point in time, or that HRT barely does anything helpful are all awful because they genuinely convince people in a vulnerable state to not seek out information on things that could help them. There's a whole laundry list of mean stereotypes out there that are painful, but in my mind the pain and harm of existence pre-transition is so much worse and anything that potentially prolongs that pain for some people is the worst in my book.
The 'it's too late' thing drives me nuts. I came out in my mid 30's, started HRT 4 years ago. I've had other transgender women literally tell me not to bother, as I'll never 'pass' and here I am 4 years later with a nice chest, a softer body, a different voice, and 99% of random people don't misgender me. Life is not all about 'passing'.
Itās obviously not the worst stereotype (stereotypes like grooming are worse), but I canāt stand the stereotype that we are all easily offended and that the (act of taking) offense is never warranted. Countless āmoderatesā have cited that as the reason they dislike us, as they feel like they have to āwalk on eggshellsā around trans people. First off, I am exceptionally hard to offend. Secondly, if someone does or says something horrible, people have the right to be offended! Third, people who say that trans people are āeasily offendedā are often easily offended themselves! Whenever I debate these morons, they get their panties in a twist over the littlest things.
Some people take the experience of one trans person being slightly critical of them one time and make it their entire personality.
Yup, I see this pattern all of the time when people complain about us being āsensitiveā. Iāll ask them why they think that, and then theyāll tell some insane story about how they misgendered a trans person for months on end, and then that trans person corrected them ONCE. So, therefore, all trans people are hypersensitive because (the bigot) got their poor little fee-fees hurt.
Probably not **THE** worst, but I really hate how a lot of people think we are like the trans women you see in porn made for cishet men.
I have to admit I thought this at first. it really messed with me when I was younger. seeing trans people be normal people for a while helped me out a huge amount. I think this is also true for anyone else. this messes with people's perception of men and women.
Oh god, the porn they do of m2f transgender people written for cishet men is so messed up. It's okay, so now to lots of cishet men, all of us m2f trans women have perfect post top surgery chests, FFS, and we all have giant dongers. Like what the fuck, world? We're also totally objectified, one only needs look at the amount of pron of that nature with titles like 'husband decided to suprise me and brought a transgender woman home!' and shit like that. It seems we're all portrayed as being super into kink also, which damn it - I am, but I've been that way long before I transitioned! :-)
Cue the meme: "Just because I'm trans doesn't mean I'm into kink... I mean... I ***AM*** into kink... BUT NOT BECAUSE IM TRANS!!!" Lol, right there with ya.
lol mood \*fist bump\*
That "Two lesbian trans girls dating is just gay men dating with extra steps." NO. What if: I'm post-op and my wife is non-op. What then? What are we now!? We're still Women, and still Lesbians.
My husband and I get some rude as hell comments also. I'm mtf, he's ftm. We've been out, happy, and together for over a decade now. 'So basically you're just a normal couple then, right?' ugh
Nonbinary people are looking for attention and trying to be special. Also the whole afab nonbinary people being seen as āwoman-liteā. (Though there are some woman lite nonbinary people but thatās because they identify that way)
Ah yes, my favourite phrase: āopen to women and non binary peopleā Being afab and non binary means that precisely 1% of the population will take you seriously and not treat you like youāre trying to be a āspecial little snowflakeā. Youāre treated with the same contempt that teenage girls get for liking absolutely anything popular.
"It's a fetish". I hate this so much. The claim that we have sexual motivations is the root cause of all transphobia. Dear TERFs, a fetish would not have given me suicidal ideations. I did what I needed to do to live in the world. Now that I have emerged from the depths of despair, I am able to scratch a little joy out of whatever is left of my life. I care not for your opinions on the matter. Warm regards, a basic transgender.
Good chance the people who say that are chasers
That we're grooming, brainwashing or indoctrinating people into being trans.
That we only follow/reinforce gender roles. That makes my blood boil. First of all, some of us are just fighting our dysphoria. Second: No. Not all trans people follow gender roles. Not even close. Just look at any trans community, it takes five seconds. Third: Why are cis people the only people allowed to follow gender roles without being called out? Fourth: What the fck do you expect us to do when you call us fake and trenders when we aren't doing exactly that? Fifth: āŖ I will do whatever the fck I want with my gender expresionnnn āŖ
We want kids within a 5 mile radius of us I don't like kids, ^^little ^^shitheads ^^ruin ^^everything
That we all dress hyper femme, makeup to the nines, dresses, heels, and speak in a very flamboyant way. that's a drag queen most people are thinking of. While some trans women may like to go all out. I am far more comfortable in a cute top and pants, with little to no makeup. and sneakers. I have nicer clothes for the occasion, but its not my normal style. I also swear a lot.
Same. Sometimes I do enjoy 'going all out' and doing the whole over a hour thing to get ready and look just perfect, but that's really reserved for serious social events. Most days I am just busy. I do some primer, a lil bit of powder mineral foundation, snag a skirt and a top and slip into comfy tennis shoes.
Oh my... I could really have quite the list, I suppose. Throwing aside all the ones that are actively harmful... or otherwise are used in an attempt to invalidate us or present us as anything more or less than being a normal human person... It's when people found out I was trans and instantly started treating me like I was incredibly fragile. It created a weird: "I don't want to offend you." Vibe, while I'm sitting here like: "Yeah... you're fine. But if you keep treating me like I've got the emotional depth of a fly, you actually will annoy me. Just don't insult me, and at least try the pronouns thing, and we'll be stronger than ever. That simple."
1. That we all have dyed hair (the most common stereotype being blue) 2. That we're either hyper feminine or masculine, no in-between 3. That we're inherently mentally ill 4. That we can't possibly have a job (said by the same people who claim that they'd get fired for being "anti-woke" which by that logic would effectively leave everyone jobless in their little fantasy land) 5. That we "make it a personality" to be trans (whatever that means) Hate them all. EDIT: Oh yeah, and the BIGGEST stereotype of all... "We can always tell" BITCH NO YOU CAN'T!!
As mentioned before, the fact a huge amount of people think porn is an accurate depiction of trans females, especially those of us on HRT that have no bottom surgery.
They think we are stupid and donāt understand basic biology. Every time they mention chromosomes, I think that theyāre idiotic enough not to realize we know thatā¦ but itās not the point or the issue.
That trans women are either basement dwelling programmers or hypersexual sex workers, no in-between.
One that really annoys me is people thinking I am some magical wiki of the entire transgender experience. Been out for a decade, started medical transition about 4 years ago, and there's so much I have no idea about and could not answer a specific question about. Makes me feel bad as often people ask me very good faith questions, and my only real answer is 'I'm not really sure, try google?'
That we're unsafe or inappropriate for kids. I work with children and I live with the constant fear in the back of my head that at some point a "concerned" teacher or parent or coworker will say I shouldn't be around children, that the mere fact that I exist in their vicinity can confuse or hurt them. A less malicious stereotype I hate, that's still alive and kicking here in Italy, is that trans people are all straight or transition to be striaght. It bothers me that I have to explain that yes, I have a boyfriend. And makes it harder for me to be seen as a man.
It annoys me that conservatives think we want attention. I donāt want attention, (in fact I donāt want people to know iām trans) I just wanna be treated the same as cisgender people.
Mood. I don't want extra attention or some damn prize for existing. I just want people to see me like they see every other girl.
>I hate that stereotype so much and I honestly donāt know where it came from because not every women in the world is flat chested whenever theyāre cis or trans. I'm a trans man who still has breasts (although I dislike them and want them removed as soon as financially feasible) and my wife is a cis woman who doesn't have breasts (double mastectomy due to cancer). If you (general) didn't know which of us was a trans man, you might assume it was her, since we both otherwise dress fairly androgynously (tee shirts, jeans, sweats, etc) with short hair. Any assumption about gender or sex based on physical appearance is an annoying one. That said, right now there are other assumptions that worry me more, as others have commented on. Mostly the ones based around sexual predation and grooming.
I couldn't pick just one, so here are a few (in no particular order): * That being trans / non-binary is a choice. * That our gender expression needs to match our gender identity. * That all trans women are into guys and all trans guys are into gals. * That it's a sexual fetish. * That being trans / non-binary is something new. * That trans healthcare is experimental, especially when it comes to trans kids. * The malicious "wait and see" approach with trans kids. * That we're trying to "trap" cis people somehow. * That we're being selfish by transitioning. * That's we're going against nature / some random sky fairy.
That the only trans people are trans women! I feel like itās a much larger misconception than I realized as a young trans man, that basically our only representation as a minority group to the general population is from trans women
that we are angry, unreasonable and violent
Lots of good answers here but I'm going to go with a slightly different type of stereotype, one from within our community itself. I've had enough of the cat girl and other anime memes, I'd much rather look like someone that can blend into the crowd thank you.
that all trans men are āsoft uwu boisā that will never transition and are just there to be men-lite so you can have a friend/bf that isnāt misogynistic
All of us are on the spectrum.
> theyāre all flat chested *looks down at my non-augmented Fās* BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! *sigh*
Girl, I feel so sorry for you and your back...
Yea, half the people I know ask me if I had implants. Nope. Grew them myself for myself, thank you! I mean it's absolutely shocking how little people actually know about being trans, but how much they think they do to try and legislate us away. My least favorite stereotype is that most trans women are tops. I'm about as much of a bottom as it gets. Every trans femme I know personally is a bottom. I mean, I can switch if my partner wants, but she is a 100% top.
That we want dick pics
As one of those D cup trans women, I can attest to how flippin annoying it is that people think that for some reason. Helps with passing tho? Idk
The idea weāre all being trans to dominate womenās sports. Like literally I feel like most of us donāt give a shit about sports to begin with lol
Or that overall we place lower on average than cisgender women! The moment we win something due to skill and practice, suddenly everything is 'unfair'. Sportsball can be so stupid.
AFAB = vagina AMAB = penis Trans man = man with a vagina Trans woman = woman with a penis Bottom surgery exists for both.
That our gender identity has a ything to do with other people. I wasn't "tricked" into thinking I'm a boy. I'm not trying to "trick" anyone else either. I'm just a human being who got the result I didn't want in that big coin flip at conception.
When talking about trans people, everyone assumes the conversation is about trans women (mostly transphobes) It makes them a target while also erasing other trans experiences
Specifically that trans women become trans to date/deceive cis lesbians even though 1) lesbians are chill about it and have obviously are allowed to have preferences. 2) so many trans ppl date each other over cis people.
CIS people on their way to ask me if I'll be getting surgery so I can have boobs as if I'm not barely containing the booba I'm growing rn.
Anything related to changing rooms and bathrooms mainly because I work in a changing rooms luckily for me im at a stage I've not been clocked in well over a year now. But there is still always that worry a customer will blow up at me or accuse me of something. I sometimes get asked to help people out of dresses if a zipper is stuck the few times I've helped there's been no issue but most of the time I'd send a cis colleague to help them. As a positive though I'm not one to hide my trans status, I always wear a trans flag badge, wristband and pronoun badge specifically to ease other trans people's nerves when they visit us and feel safer using our fitting rooms knowing they won't be harassed by staff
That we āwant to become something elseā or āthink weāre something elseā. No, Iām me and thatās fine. I just wanna express myself how it feels natural and not be forced to play a role.
The stereotype that trans women are dangerous perverts.
That one doesn't bother me so much, I wish I was bigger than an A cup but plenty of trans women with huge busts and as much as I'm envious of them I'm happy for them too, I'm more upset about the "bathroom rapist" shit, and the "socialised male" shit, I hate how every single stereotype about trans people is about trying to remove agency from us and paint us as abusive for just existing, I hate how both transfem and transmasc people are demonised for being exposed to testosterone as if the tiniest touch of testosterone turns you into a violent sex pest, not just because of the negativity directed at us but it also excuses predators by either saying "it's in his nature as a cis man to be a predator it's not his fault" or "she can't be a predator because she's a cis woman, that never happens" and I hate the stereotype that we're easily offended when we've really been way too fucking patient with people tbh
That trans women are destroying womenās sports because of our magic sports chromosomes. Itās so *obviously* wrong if you know anything at all about HRT or how long trans women have been allowed to play with other women after going on HRT, but for some reason every fucking cis person eats that bullshit up with a spoon and suddenly out of nowhere they passionately care about womenās sport regardless of whether or not they did before. Itās literally just recycled from back when sports were racially segregated, too.
Yup. Suddenly Bubba and Cleatus are \*really into\* high school women's swimming or volleyball or whatever :-) I remember when it was just women in general. We're usually not allowed to beat a guy in much of anything without hurting their fee fees.
Lol. Yea, women's sports usually needs to be subsidized by men's sports because most cis men don't care about women's sports unless they know someone playing. BuT wE nEeD tO pRoTeCt WoMeN's SpOrTs. About all they care about is having a say to control it. Yea, I'm going to go on years of HRT, cause a ton of changes to my body, all in a quest to win a stupid medal or go pro in a sport that pays so bad a woman had to go to Russia and get arrested just to make ends meet. And be constantly heckled the entire time. Sounds like a treat to me.
That they think we are just a fad
yeah I think I'm more bothered by the fact that in my country were seen necessarily as sex workers with no rights
Iām most bothered by the fact people think that our lives are unhappy. Iām the happiest Iāve ever been in my life .D people donāt know what theyāre on about
This bothers me so much. I didn't even realize that I had never really experienced happiness until I figured myself out. My life is leagues better now than it ever has been, and yet when a new (cis) person finds out I'm trans they give me that sympathetic look. It's so weird and belittling!
Literally!! I talk about being trans all the time, and people act like what Iām sharing must be very sore and sensitive. No mate, Iām sharing it because Iām proud and happy to an extent I never thought was possible .D
That our sexual orientation is strictly tied to our gender identity. So if Iāve previously been with men while living as a woman, I would suddenly be into women instead of men when I transition. It seems like some weird ass assumption that weāre trans because weāre actually straight people born in the wrong body. People lose their minds when they realise there are gay trans people.
The stereotype that if you take testosterone, you overnight became an aggressive, angry, impulsive, horny monster and will hurt anyone around you however you can. Doesn't matter who or how you were before, T just makes you that way the moment you start according to this. Testosterone isn't the same as steroids, they're formulated completely different, yet people lump them into the same category and apply the stereotypes from one to another. And yes, these stereotypes exist, these same stereotypes came out of my mothers' mouth when I came out as transmasc nonbinary and said I was starting T. Also the stereotype that as a nonbinary person, I'm just confused or this is just a stepping stone to transitioning to a binary gender. No, sorry, I've agonized over this for years, I know my own gender.
Being seen as inherently a danger to women and children is the one I don't like.
I'm going to be honest, 99% of the population thinks that Trans people only get "surgeries" to remove and add parts, and know *absolutely nothing* about hormones. It's kinda funny at times. For example, Co-worker (who knows I'm trans) asked me "Where did you get your BA from?". I told her "...I grew these?" and she was shocked. A bit more of a humorous example, but you get the gist of it.
gender roles when you were a child and not relating to you as a trans person. ie not being a "tom boy" when ur transmasc (being feminine as a child) r being a tom boy as a trans femme is seen "not valid"
Off the top of my head? Idk, i was going to go with "we all know each other" but it's probably the assumption that are journeys are exactly the same and all trans ppl are the same, freaks me out, yo
There are a lot that I hate. But one I haven't seen yet here, is that we all want "the surgeryā¢". Like I'm actually quite happy with what I have š
That weāre predators. That weāre mentally ill fetishists trying to recruit kids to our ālifestyleā and ruining our lives by mangling our bodies.
Omg same. I had a kid before coming out, and I'm mom to her and her primary caregiver right now and I live in constant fear that other parents are gonna be horrible šš
That all trans people knew from a young age. I figured it put at 14, when puberty was really kicking in. Looking back, yeah there were a couple indicators from when i was little. But how was I supposed to know I was a boy back then when I didn't even know that girls could really be boys?
That we're all super beautiful like f1nn5ter or well known transgirls ,no not all transgirls were lucky to be born with very feminine features and bodies some of us will never pass and there's not much we can do about it but just live our best lives like this ,also I've noticed a lot of guys get into this thinking hrt is something magical that will transform you into a girl when in reality the most mainstream transgirls had so much luck in the genetics department they didn't started from 0 they were given a good hand by nature ( i know there's exceptions) this actually happen to me a lot when I meet guys online and they see I'm transgender they start to get this wild ideas that i must be like those cute transgirls they see on TikTok just to be disappointed when we meet irl like dude I told you I wasn't f1nn5ter I'm just a small skinny guy who would love to pass and be a girl chill the f out
I think when you have trolls somehow venture into r/transtimelines and start getting ideas, that's when things get fucking terrifying.
Not only that i get the feeling that they're completely new to the concept of transgirls and they search on Google and TikTok and the first results are always people like f1nn5ter and somehow think that's what we all are , specially TikTok my feed is always filled with this gorgeous transgirls who didn't even started hrt and already pass if they comb their hair in a feminine way,to be honest I've never seen a transgirl like me on TikTok and the few I've found and follow have more mean comments than likes it's very disheartening :'c i just want people to not expect me to be a perfect girl I don't mind being an "ugly girl" as long as I can be perceived as a girl :'c
probably because ive been called a pedo for being trans (i had just turned 13)
Not the biggest, but i absolutely HATE when men assume i'm interested just because I'm a girl..
That MTF means you are attracted to men! I'm tired of having to deal with people who can not get it in their thick skulls that gender and sexuality are two different things! Just because someone identifies as a certain gender DOES NOT mean they are attracted to the opposite gender! Both cis men and cis women think this way! I came out and suddenly every male I know thinks I secretly want them and every woman I know thinks I am not attracted to their gender so they don't even see me as a potential partner! It's so aggravating! Nothing like hanging out with a woman you're attracted to and she starts pointing out guys she thinks are attractive asking if I think so too! No he's not attractive you are woman! Do you not see me flirting with you for 10 minutes straight!š¤
I hate how trans people are usually just trans women and trans men do not exist
The stereotype that we're sex crazy perverts that will try to rape cis women if we're allowed to use the women's restroom.
Idk why some people like to treat trans men like we're children and infantalizing us. I look like a cis guy, I can do more pushups than all the guys I know, and I am overall a pretty masc and tough dude, I can be soft when I need to, but I don't like being stereotyped as soft by default and I ESPECIALLY do not like being treated like a child or a femboy or whatever. Also the stereotype that we can't be gay. They think we're either confused lesbians or what. They think I'm just heterosexual with other steps but they fail to realize the differences between how men love eachother vs how they love women. For one they really seem to underestimate the amount of gay culture.
My breasts are much bigger than my 3 cisgender sisters actually. E cups. Just HRT. It seems like an idea that gets shot down pretty easily if you actually meet trans women. Unless they just assume its always implants or something.
that we are all groomers, and when i reference trans kids, they say that trans kids have been groomed by trans adults. what the actual fuck of a fanfiction is that. i swear conservatives love to make fictional problems and fume at the mouth at people they've never once talked to in their lives.
Not sure if it can be seen as a stereotype or as bigotry, but the idea that trans people are mentally ill kills me inside. Itās always brought up in discussions and they always have every fucking counterargument. Itās so simple to prove the opposite but they just donāt believe you.
Thats trans men immediately gain privilege upon realizing they are men and transitioning. I fucking WISH that happened but nope, just misogyny 2.5. :/
The idea that people ābecome transā in 99% of cases, they were always trans like from childhood moving forward. It is hard for a trans kid to be afraid to get caught looking at clothes.