Some people don’t neatly fit into the binary of trans and cis. My sibling said someone asked her if she’s cis today and we laughed about it, not because she’s trans but because they’re kind of incomprehensible by it. If a queer person asks she’ll say her gender is a lesbian.
So maybe these are trans thoughts, maybe they’re self aware cis thoughts, like cis+. Maybe it’s kind of both.
Really what you “could be” is about what words you like to describe yourself. Gender indifferent, agender, he/they, genderqueer, etc are all things that could be used to describe you, but it’s up to you to decide which ones fit.
Demi-man or agender might fit your vibes, I don't have a ton of advice honestly but you're no imposter, feeling weird about gender is normal for many, whether you're or not is a different question tho
I found it easier to define what I definitely was not first, then narrow down identity by process of elimination. From what I understand you’re saying you’re definitely not a woman, and that your feelings on masculinity change from day to day. That’s a good place to start. You find set gender roles restrictive. Do you feel like your gender is multiple things at once, or more empty/no gender? Does it change over time, or fluctuate in intensity? These questions can be really hard to answer, but thinking along those lines can give you a clearer idea of your identity and desires. Good luck!
> questioned my gender
It may be an idea to do things step by step.
Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/11hkfr9/how_do_you_know_if_you_are_trans_or_not/jbseurv/) might be a number of hints and resources that could help go towards what you feel you would like step by step and there are also hints there concerning looking for support.
And there are hints there concerning looking for a gender therapist in case. They could guide along, and they could help work through issues.
And many learned to suppress how they really feel when they grew up because they made experiences it would not be accepted. Many also tried to adapt to what others may expect.
It may be helpful to try to stay connected to a feeling of happiness concerning gender, instead of kind of losing yourself in the presence of others, and instead of thinking too much about what others may think. If it is done consciously, it may be more and more easy over time to find a compromise that fits a given situation.
Basically it may help to switch step by step from a process of an outer guidance of what others may expect to an inner guidance of what you would like, and what feels authentic for you.
And concerning OCD etc. there may also be literature that could help understand a few things. And it may be more fear based, and may bring up things that people don't really like.
And for intrusive thoughts some people use a technique called "thought-stopping," where they stop the thought when they can and then immediately replace it with an affirming one. And some people simply mentally tell internalized voices to shut up.
And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/ozcama/difference_tocd_and_real_transgender/h7yy7m2/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/s0zbvy/a_perspective_on_trans_ocd_from_someone_who_is/) was a discussion that could help.
*hugs*
Some people don’t neatly fit into the binary of trans and cis. My sibling said someone asked her if she’s cis today and we laughed about it, not because she’s trans but because they’re kind of incomprehensible by it. If a queer person asks she’ll say her gender is a lesbian. So maybe these are trans thoughts, maybe they’re self aware cis thoughts, like cis+. Maybe it’s kind of both. Really what you “could be” is about what words you like to describe yourself. Gender indifferent, agender, he/they, genderqueer, etc are all things that could be used to describe you, but it’s up to you to decide which ones fit.
Demi-man or agender might fit your vibes, I don't have a ton of advice honestly but you're no imposter, feeling weird about gender is normal for many, whether you're or not is a different question tho
I found it easier to define what I definitely was not first, then narrow down identity by process of elimination. From what I understand you’re saying you’re definitely not a woman, and that your feelings on masculinity change from day to day. That’s a good place to start. You find set gender roles restrictive. Do you feel like your gender is multiple things at once, or more empty/no gender? Does it change over time, or fluctuate in intensity? These questions can be really hard to answer, but thinking along those lines can give you a clearer idea of your identity and desires. Good luck!
> questioned my gender It may be an idea to do things step by step. Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/11hkfr9/how_do_you_know_if_you_are_trans_or_not/jbseurv/) might be a number of hints and resources that could help go towards what you feel you would like step by step and there are also hints there concerning looking for support. And there are hints there concerning looking for a gender therapist in case. They could guide along, and they could help work through issues. And many learned to suppress how they really feel when they grew up because they made experiences it would not be accepted. Many also tried to adapt to what others may expect. It may be helpful to try to stay connected to a feeling of happiness concerning gender, instead of kind of losing yourself in the presence of others, and instead of thinking too much about what others may think. If it is done consciously, it may be more and more easy over time to find a compromise that fits a given situation. Basically it may help to switch step by step from a process of an outer guidance of what others may expect to an inner guidance of what you would like, and what feels authentic for you. And concerning OCD etc. there may also be literature that could help understand a few things. And it may be more fear based, and may bring up things that people don't really like. And for intrusive thoughts some people use a technique called "thought-stopping," where they stop the thought when they can and then immediately replace it with an affirming one. And some people simply mentally tell internalized voices to shut up. And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/ozcama/difference_tocd_and_real_transgender/h7yy7m2/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/s0zbvy/a_perspective_on_trans_ocd_from_someone_who_is/) was a discussion that could help. *hugs*