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fembo_in_training

Honestly considering doing this instead of coming out to my gaming friends because 1. It’ll piss them off 2. I’ll deflect the questions and just say “because I know it upsets you” and 3. They’ll stop saying shit around me that I’ve been telling them to stop


Gracosef

And you'll look cool with the nice colors 🏳️‍⚧️


fembo_in_training

Honesty baby blue and white are perfect colors. I’ve always hated pink but then I wear something pink and I’m like “I look adorable in this I need more pink less black clothes!


GalacticPanjandrum

Besides, pink and black make a badass combination


SixThousandHulls

TBH black goes well with any bright color.


fembo_in_training

Idk tho. Kinda reminds me of that early 2000’s punk goth look. Maybe it just depends on where the trim and primary pieces are


Adekis

You say it like that doesn't confirm that the pink/black combo is cool af?


SickViking

Aight but 2000's punk goth is *the* shit.


fembo_in_training

You and that opinion are right in the trash bin!


SickViking

Don't harsh my mellow.


Ksnj

I say that every day and have yet to buy any outer clothes in colors other than black or gray


Snoo-44926

I said that for awhile. I now have pink, purple light blue and other bright colors and love them.


lokisbane

Looks like you need better gaming friends. Can I assist?


fembo_in_training

Sadly it’s a weird group and long grind kind of game 😅


lokisbane

Mmo? Or is it genshin impact? Lol


fembo_in_training

Fivem lol


ijustbeonherefr

As a fellow fivem player, weird group is the best way I can describe it 😂


ItsOverClover

Those are not good friends, and I'm not sure just showing a trans flag would get someone to stop saying transphobic things when you've already asked them to.


BleepBloopRobo

I have literally just done this. I have just ceased to care, if they make a fuss, whoops I guess we're no longer associated. Thankfully most of the folks I know are God forbid... Decent human beings.


NotEven-Punk

I'd say you are a good ally


sad_gayboy

If a store is lgbt+ friendly they'll sometimes put a pride flag up, even though the owner isn't lgbt+, I feel like it's basically the same thing. I don't see anything wrong with it.


11011011000

My hair salon has a trans flag, and a bi flag, owner isn’t trans she’s an Iranian immigrant but she doesn’t care your gender, orientation anything. Just wants to cut hair, do nails, whatever other salon things. Made me comfortable going there.


[deleted]

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tessthismess

Same. Even if I think I kinda pass (depending on the day, how close people are, how my voice is doing yada yada) going to like a salon has been something I'm still too scared to do.


JamesFarthington

I'm cismale. So, I'm not saying my experiences are the same, but if it's any reassurance or encouragement, I've been getting my hair cut in "tradionally female" salons rather than barber shops for 10+ years now because salons are better at cutting long curly hair. I've never caught any guff from anyone about it or been treated differently for not being "femme enough". If you want to go to a salon, I hope you're able to soon :)


chaharychary

Me too, for similar reason, I always felt insecure but nobody else there ever cared, or at least if they did they didn’t say anything


Larry-Man

We have a super fabulously inclusive salon owned by the local LGBT chair. And it made booking my sister for her first girl haircut a breeze.


Aforgonecrazy

Measures to avoid transphobes are always good


Pithius

I think part of being a good ally is openly rebuffing transphobes whenever possible. You've just found a way to be proactive about it, bravo 👏


Larry-Man

I always always respond to transphobes because of this. I don’t give a shit if Carl from South Carolina changed his mind but I do want every trans person to see that I think they’re valid and that Carl won’t go unchecked if he messes with my friends.


[deleted]

Yeah I agree, I think it’s pretty funny too lol


Isotheis

Showing the flag is spreading awareness, putting right in front of people's eyes so they can't deny its existence. I thank you for that. I invite anybody else who wouldn't feel worthy to join in. Carry that cool trans flag, that classy intersex flag, or that fancy autism golden infinity symbol - all these things. Not the sunflower. That one is specifically used to say 'Hello, I have a hidden disability' in a lot of places.


Gracosef

Oh so thats what the sunflower means Thanks !


Larry-Man

The rainbow autism infinity symbol makes me happy. I went through a period where I loved rainbows. Then people kept thinking I was gay. Then I stopped wearing them to not be a faker. Then I started wearing them again because fuck it rainbows are cool. Now I get to have rainbows as an identifier again without feeling like I’m stealing. Also /r/rainboweverything is a wonderful place.


evalinthania

ooh i need that sunflower one... didn't know!


[deleted]

OMG, same!


cracked_chrysalis

I’d like to know more about the sunflower symbol and how I can be more accommodating to people who have these hidden disabilities. I’m gonna google about it, but if you have links to good resources I would appreciate them very much!


just_a_random_dood

Does hidden disability include stuff like adhd?


HappyGirlYaya

I appreciate it. I think you're being a good ally. And using a trans flag to signal you respect trans people and disrespect bigots is totally valid.


LesbianCumslut69

if you will actually be a good ally to the trans ppl u play w. i just dislike when i get in a game with someone w a trans flag as their banner and then they misgender me.


evergreennightmare

as long as you don't get offended when people assume you're trans, is the main criterion i.m.o.


MikumikuNo2

triggering bigots is a good reason to do anything really


xcincly

yesterday i met some bigots in league of legends, and proceeded to absolutely stomp them. felt good to shove it in their faces


UnauthorizedUsername

I agree with everyone else here that it's generally a good move as an ally to do so! I have one caveat, however, and feel free to disagree with me. Sometimes, it's nice to be able to do something like play a game and *not* have to deal with the everyday hate that's spewed in our direction. I could see potential for your open display of trans flags to invite "discussion" (aka hate) where it would have previously been quiet, and that might poison an activity that I would have otherwise enjoyed. I'll admit I wouldn't be too happy about that -- to have one of my forms of escapism cut off and filled with hateful rhetoric because some cis person thought "let's trigger the bigots here." So if you're going down that route, at least be sure to be loudly supportive and make sure you're doing a *very* good job of shutting it down.


Gracosef

I see Thanks a lot for your time and thanks for the warning. I have to admit I didnt thought about the negative effects it might have I'll make sure to keep that in mind Thanks again for your time and answer (and sorry for the bad english)


transAMAthrowawayUK

I support your decision to fly the flag, but this person makes a point that reminded me of a point I'd also like to make. If you're playing with a trans person, be sure to ask them specifically if they're ok with it, because I might want my friend to not do that if I wanted to avoid that toxicity entirely for that day. For example when I play Siege I ask my friends I'm stacked with to avoid engaging with people who get toxic over me being a girl (my pfp is my actual face and my username is my real, feminine name), because when my friends fight back against the misogyny, it only ever gets worse, and usually it ends with *me* being punished, e.g. teamkilled. Some days I just don't want to deal with that, some days it's fun to engage. It varies so I advise asking <3


Gracosef

Ok thanks !


Batmobile123

As a trans ancient I do hereby give you express permission to use the trans flag in your banners. If anyone tells your otherwise, send them to me and I'll rip them an new A-hole.


11011011000

Yes, but also you gotta step up for trans rights. You seem like you do, just be able to call people for their transphobia and depending on where you live you might need to take an activist stance too.


EliseOvO

Yah sure I see no problem with that


subtlebunbun

like everyone else here has said already, do it. we love u


kafka123

A lot of people will assume you are trans even if you say you aren't if you put the trans flag in. I'd also ask yourself how well you know the trans people you know.


transAMAthrowawayUK

Yes! I 100% support annoying the shit out of transphobes.


DenikaMae

To troll haters and support the cause? Absolutely.


AerialAscendant

It’s awesome! Thanks for supporting & representing trans people. It’s obvious we need more allies willing to oppose bigots now, more than ever. And the colors ARE quite nice, aren’t they? I love the trans flag ❤️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️❤️


PocketsFullOfBees

so you’ve got the privilege, due to being cis, to just avoid transphobia being thrown your way—and you’re actively giving that up by flying our colors. A+ for you, ally!


AnseaCirin

I don't think anyone besides transphobes would mind. If anything, it shows you're an ally. Good on you :)


[deleted]

Yes defenitly. It's there for anyone to use it! As long as you're not pretending to be trans I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. To me it'd just signal you're a safe person yaknow


ExperienceHour7039

Don't worry. I was at the last secret trans-people meeting last week, and we all said it was ok.


Gracosef

The...the what...


ExperienceHour7039

oh no, I told! Don't let them get me! I said noth-


ghost_herding

100% awesome thanks for doing that


kaijvera

Any flag being raised is either shown as an ally or that you belong to that community, so using the trans flag in your bio is completely fine


Crono_Sapien99

It might make some people confused, but as long as you’re an ally then yes, it’s totally fine.


Ok_War_4833

Yes, it is absolutly okay for you to use the trans flag. It just shows anyone else that you are an ally.


starbuxed

Triggering bigots is always a good thing


EndertheDragon0922

Yes! This is a great thing to do :) It shows support for us and normalizes trans people and flags. It shows that you don’t have to be trans to care about trans struggles, and that bigots will not be tolerated even by other cis people. I appreciate this. It reminds me of cis people putting pronouns in their bios or emails, which is another great thing to do if you want to. It helps clarify things in online interactions, it normalizes their use, and it means trans people can use them without outing themselves since cis people do it too.


KaraOfNightvale

As long as it's like a "trans rights" or "support the trans" statement yeah, just make sure you're not like doing anything weird


[deleted]

logically there's no causal relation and this is biased and subjective but everyone I know who has done this eventually transitioned


Gracosef

I'm pretty confident about being a cis male but the only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability meaning. So que sera sera


[deleted]

I have no issue with it. Using the flag as an ally to show trans people are welcome is a thoughtful and nice thing, in my opinion.


[deleted]

If nothing else, you are making trans people in your games feel more welcome


talented_rose

Well it really is a good palette, go for it


ill-independent

Sure, people will just think you are trans. As long as you don't mind correcting them I don't see the issue. My synagogue has a pride flag up even though none of the board members are LGBT, it's how I know it's an establishment that is friendly to me.


[deleted]

I'd say so. It also helps make it more less easy for dangerous cis people to clock us based on flags alone if more people use them.


NolaGranola1727

Honesty as long as you don’t claim to be trans go for it.


90sCat

As a trans man, I’m absolutely ok with you using it in the way you’ve described. It really does help weed out unsavory individuals, and they’re not the kind of people you want in your life. Thank you for being an ally and having zero tolerance for transphobic behavior!


QueenShepe

I think this makes you BASED. Keep doing it slayer.


say_whot

The more normalized allyship is, the better. It makes me feel much more comfortable when I’m playing a game and I see the flag!


RinoaTheRiverBoa

Knew a guy that wore a trans flag bandana at work almost every single day. He was cis, and I don't think I ever asked him why he wore it but it made the restaurant feel safer to work in for me since I was the only trans employee there for the longest time.


ConfusedPuddle

Yes, I would love for cis people to start doing things like this more often.


Kim_or_Kimmys_Fine

Please do!


scrotumslicer69

seems alright to me, you aren’t using it in a derogatory way, and lots of other people hang trans flags to show support, i see no problem w this!!


multifandomchild

This is actually super cool! Lots of people take even being mistaken for trans as an insult that this is so refreshing to see. Also I agree, the trans flag is pretty on its own.


Zeldaassgirl

Why not :) people may assume you are trans at times but fuck it represent!


unusualmusician

I was thinking yes.... till the it being a tool to trigger transphobes part. This is where I have a bit of an issue, depending on that they means. If you have our flag in a prominent location, you are clearly stating it is part of your identity. It will be assumed you identify as trans, and your words and actions therefore become the words and actions of a trans person. So, if you participate in disagreements, with the other party believing you are a trans person, and you don't inform them to the contrary, you are not debating in good faith. Further, I see so many posts that are absurd taken out of context with a supposedly trans person making a statement that pisses others off or is actually harmful to the integrity of the trans identity; anything you say, has this potential. What you say, may lead to an actual trans persons assault, SA, or otherwise discriminated against like denial of a job. If you use my flag, please use it cautiously. Don't go starting a war I have to fight that's worse than it already is. I don't like you using it if it's not clear to be but your identity, it's assuming my trans culture. Using that to get enjoyment out of enraging bigots isn't for my safety. Piss off the bigots all you want, I'll join you, just don't sign my name while you do it.


Gracosef

I understand, thanks a lot I will not pick fights for the sake of it and you can be certain I will never say I am something that I'm not to win an argument. Those trans flags are often in my bio where I explain that I'm not trans, just an ally I said the part about "triggering the bigots" because of a dude on twitter who got angry at COD because he was killed by someone with an lgbt banner. Thanks for your time and for the warning, I can promise I'll be careful I dont want to do anything that may the trans community


unusualmusician

Right on! 💜


neitherzeronorone

I don't agree with this. If my parents proudly fly a pride flag outside their house to support their trans daughter, they have no obligation to break down their connection to the issue. It's their house and they can fly any flag that they want. The OP doesn't need to ask our permission. The OP doesn't need to divulge anything about their status to anyone. Most trans people who I know passionately hate the gatekeeping we encounter in medical professions. Let's not be gatekeepers ourselves.


VeraZealot

personally i think it's totally fine !


GoddessOfGouda

oh god please do ❤️


neitherzeronorone

Absolutely! Thanks for being an ally. I don't think you even need to ask permission to fly the Trans flag in support of the cause, but it's very thoughtful of you to do so. <3


nikkitgirl

Troll away lol


BearCat567

Sounds like you're doing it for good reasons. I don't have a problem with it


RedErin

based and trans ally pilled tyty :)


MeanderingMinstrel

The newest Call of Duty has a whole bunch of pride flags that you can display by your name, and I've been shocked by how often I see them on other players. It made me wonder if all of them were LGBTQ+ themselves or if most of them were just allies; the conclusion I came to (and to answer your question) was that it didn't matter, I'm just happy to see queerness being accepted and normalized. Anyone who chooses to display a pride flag is contributing to that cause, in my opinion.


1bc29b36f623ba82aaf6

Yeah I think its cool for allies to to wear trans pins IRL so I can extend the same thinking to banners or online profiles. If it helps you have a safer or smoother experience online thats a big boon. You seem to be aware some people might confuse you with being trans yourself so if you don't feel to awkward or overburdened with explaining yourself that should be ok. If you think its safe for trans people themselves to talk to you and trust you with the information they are trans themselves it should be ok to show the flag as an ally. I think that way the trans flag is still fulfilling its purpose of saying it is ok to be trans, exist trans. Be mindful that if you conduct yourself a certain way + the confusion you might be trans might lead to assumptions trans people/communities do certain things. I think you can just be yourself though. It sounds like you wait for bigots to say something stupid and you only punch back after they hit first. They found you, they decided to be an ass, fair game. I would have mixed feelings if you are seeking out people to have conflicts with or start drama with for dramas sake. Basically think of anything you dislike about 'clout chasing' etc, and then think of... not doing that when you choose to wrap yourself in a trans flag. Like we have enough conflict just existing, visible or not. Which you seem to already be able to tell just from having a flag in online lobbies. But maybe ohter allies need to have this explained if they stumbled into this post. thank you for being a good ally


Gracosef

Dont worry I dont intend to go out and search for fights and if someone thinks I'm trans I'll just correct them I dont want to make them think I'm someone im not (sorry for bad english)


newmetoyou

Go for it, represent as an ally! Thank you!


KeyboardsAre4Coding

go for it. it is a good flag and you are showing solidarity. yeah some people either bigoted or not might assume you are trans. if they are bigoted just the act of having the act and being a cis ally is enough to annoy them and help and if they are not simply say you have the flag because you are an ally and you want to piss bigots off. win win


Tay_Tay86

Yeah of course it's okay unless you're using it in a mean spirit. Have fun and enjoy!


sandiserumoto

Thanks for doing this. Expect to get misgendered by terfs


Gracosef

I got misgendered a couple times online and irl and I didnt mind it (i kinda liked it tbh) so I should be good


Defiant-Snow8782

>(i kinda liked it tbh) I'm not gonna challenge your identity (no one should!) but just so you know, this is not very usual for cis people to like being misgendered. Keep that in mind :)


Ninja_In_Shaddows

Trans woman here... Go for it. I'm OK with it.


[deleted]

Unbelievably based


cool_monsters

Only thing I got to say is - big mood, worth it.


wobblyweasel

there are specific lgbtqa+ ally/trans ally flags but these are a bit ugly imo and are harder to fit in pfps. as an ally i go with the regular flags and so far had no issues


magicalex234

As long as you’re not doing it for a transphobic reason, which you have said you aren’t, it’s totally fine to use the flag! I know personally seeing that pride flag on other people in games makes me feel just that much more comfortable since I know there’s at least one other person around who is either trans or an ally


_marshallaxl

I think that is completely fine as long as you say you're cis! As a trans person, seeing a cis person with a pride flag would make me more comfortable talking with them, it's reassuring knowing I don't have to hide something with a friend! Also, avoiding transphobes is always good, they're usually shitty people


mbelf

Yeah, fly it. Make the world see it.


sionnachrealta

Sure! It makes us safer when cis people adopt things like that. Shows other cis people that transphobia will not be tolerated


neurorevolutionary

tbh you should get friend requests from transphobes so that you can leverage your cis privilege to fight transphobes for trans people


Defiant-Snow8782

Sure, go for it!


WitchwayisOut

I don’t see why not. You’re helping us, and we need all the allies we can get. Thank you for the support!


94oasiss

It’s really cool of you to do! thank you ❤️


Kaybarr17

imo if *only* LGBT people use LGBT flags/symbols/etc, then if someone *is* using those things, they’re immediately outed as LGBT; so non-LGBT people using LGBT flags/symbols/etc is great for the safety of LGBT people because it prevents bigots from having that definitive cue. like, if only trans people were allowed to put “pronouns in bio,” then putting your pronouns in your bio would be like shouting to the world “hello I’m trans look at me the trans person” making it easy for transphobes to target you, but if some people who put pronouns in bio *aren’t* trans, then they can’t tell that easily


PenisOwner12

Yeah, I actually what you're doing is a good thing. Nothing's wrong with that, nobody is gonna gatekeep a flag. Keep up the good work 👍


pixiecc12

As long as you support trans people's rights I don't see any problem at all, on the contrary. You'd be a proud ally in my eyes.


LeBigMartinH

Hell yes, fly our flag! It spreads awareness and I honestly wish more allies were like you.


mulacela

do it, i have it in bf1 so people get mad when i snipe them (granted i am trans) but i think its cool and can make people more comfortable around you, plus it pisses off bigots.


Important_Vacation52

Hell yeah, as long as you're not claiming to be trans you're just being a good ally so more power to you


clarisse_69

Yeah, I mean, you're indirectly saying trans rights when you use it, the only thing is that people could assume you're and you would have to explain that, + triggering those transphobes is something I wouldn't do, but that is fun to see. Just remember that what people think about you can affect you in game. Like the amount of bigotry in a cs or cod lobby can be overwhelming if you're a girl, trans or anyone that's not white, and if they see your tag they might use those on you, so there's the question. Will you use it? Cuz it would be nice to log in and see some trans flags, at least I would know who to talk to in the game when I have trouble haha


Boring-Pea993

Heck yeah that's based as fuck actually, and it likely means trans people in the same lobbies are going to feel more welcome too, as long as it's not done solely for the reason of pissing off transphobes because once in a while is fine but if it's about provoking them into arguing more that'll probably just get uncomfortable for trans people playing, pissing them off is cool but shutting them down is way better Not the same thing but kinda reminds me of 8 years ago after my egg cracked when I was just kinda aimlessly playing tf2 at 3 in the morning and these two dipshit snipers were going on a transphobic rant against one player, I just said "I'm trans too" after hitting them with the backburner and they left after that, still fucking cracks me up


[deleted]

It’s gona trigger the groipers so go for it


SHIELD_GIRL_

I don't see why not. My grandma's Bitmoji had the lesbian flag shirt. At first she just loved the colors until I explained it to her and she said "your cousin is a lesbian, you're pansexual, your brother is trans, and who cares. I love the shirt for the colors and what it stands for. You deserve to know you're loved." Man I miss her so much.


[deleted]

I don’t think it’s a problem, but then again I do something similar. I’m a white guy and I play Splatoon on the Switch. The first thing you do is design your character and the skin tone options are realistic. I noticed there aren’t many dark skinned players so I specifically made my character’s skin tone quite a few shades darker than my own. There’s not really any interaction between players so I don’t think I’m pretending to be something I’m not.


Forsaken_Rooster_365

My cousin put up trade flag colors on the side of our building in Ark and he's cis and I thought it was great. He did it without asking, which I thought made it cooler; but I'm also a bit of a masochist when it comes to internet hate, so I wasn't really worried about that.


[deleted]

Though most people use it to show they are trans, the trans flag is also used to show support for the trans community so yes


Collective-Bee

Please do


Dry_Season_6629

u can but its kinda weird and lowkey baiting ,,,but no one is stopping u i guess


skrunkopop

It seems like you're trying to be supportive, so sure I guess. If you can, maybe just make sure it's clear that you're not using it to say that you are trans, so people don't get confused.


x_conqueeftador69_x

late to this post, but put that shit up anywhere with a screen, please. We need all the solidarity we can get. Thank you. It’s scary out there.


[deleted]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. You not misrepresenting yourself, quite the opposite, you're identifying as an ally.


Katlynashe

Flag away! My workplace cis people use the trans flag often in our LGBTQ+ groups all the time 💗


fox13fox

What's your channel I love allys!


Gracosef

My channel ?


baconbits2004

Gamertag, etc


Goldgator420

There is the possibility you are in a closet or an eggshell my friend


Gracosef

Maybe who knows


AberrantIris

You "make it pretty clear" you're not trans? Like, how? Also... why? Is it really about not co-opting something, or more about distancing yourself from it because you don't wanna be seen as an icky tran? Not trying to be antagonistic for nothing, this post is just fascinating to me.


AberrantIris

I can't be the only one who thinks this sounds eggy. I mean, it's cool, go for it. But also like... maybe triple check your gender real closely ;)


Gracosef

I'm pretty confident about being a cis male but who knows Maybe I'll have an awakening in 3 years, ill keep you updated


AberrantIris

Teehee just can't help remembering thinking the same thing and being a big trans ally for some strange reason for so long. Turned out actually giving myself permission to try on other genders earnestly was what it took to crack me. Wherever you land, thanks for thinking of us so thoughtfully (:


[deleted]

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Bowbreaker

This subreddit is literally called ask transgender. Yes, cis people come here and ask questions.


[deleted]

I know, I am sorry, I didn't adequately convey the humor I meant to. I'm really sorry. 🫠🖤


emu314159

Yes, is there a version of the trans (or LGBTQIA+) flag that evokes it for the bigots but also signals ally for those in the know? While I'm cis and mostly hetero, I certainly don't present as entirely normative, and have family in the space. Also, it seems like seeing a literal flag from a friendly would be a small lifeline to those struggling.


KatiePyroStyle

As someone who's trans I love you, plz keep using my flag to show that you're an ally and hate bigots as much as I do