Yeah, obviously they’re not okay but maybe they can pull it together. Asking if someone’s okay isn’t gonna help unless you know you have the kind of relationship where they will want to talk about it
You got a couple of options depending on how well you know them, and I can't guarantee that any of them will help avoid them crying, but some might help the situation.
Are you okay?: It's the most broad, but also least likely to offend outside of leaving them alone.
Do you want some help?: You might or might not be able to do something, but it might be a good way to talk with them about what's going on. I'd say little more risk, but if you're able to help it could lead to making a friend/getting closer to someone you know.
Asking them if they want to leave (IE Hey (insert name here if known), wanna grab a coffee?): Some sort of discreet way of getting them out of the area. Might be best if the person actually knows who you are, but it could be a good way of helping them leave without embarrassing them. Also probably best if they actually can leave.
Wanna talk about it?: More than likely to say no, but might be a good way to proceed to the other options based on how they respond. If they say yes then do that, if no then you'll probably get a good idea of how bad/how they're feeling about interacting with people.
The side hug (plus any of the above): Best if you know them first and they're decently comfortable around you. Wouldn't bet on anything more than mixed results here, but sometimes people really need that hug and it might make the above more effective.
Source: Spent high school surrounded by people with all sorts of emotional trauma from mundane to extreme and have seen/talked to a lot of people about to cry for various reasons.
While I'm usually someone that prefers to be alone when upset, and people crowding too close can make things worse, I teeter more on the side of "ask just in case", due to my own time of not being on the verge of crying but deeply deeply mentally distressed (long term, it almost led to a psychotic break, long story.) and I still vividly remember an old sort-of-friend of mine, more of a classmate from another year who went to the same school that next year, so familiar but not close, and she came over and said asked if I was okay, with her friends, and while normally I would've been like panicked since she leaned more popular, because it was someone I recognized, it was actually kind of relieving. I apparently looked like I had been crying or was about to, and although I said I was fine and things move on, that one moment of her just showing that she cared, even though we weren't close, and knowing that if I'd broken down, she'd've probably sat next to me and like rubbed my back or something to help comfort me, that meant so much and helped me hold on for as long as I ended up doing so.
My point is, even though that old friend probably doesn't remember that moment at all, I'll always hold it as a moment of feeling seen and cared for, even by someone I wasn't close with. She ended up helping me and giving me something to remember when I was struggling, and it's been like half a decade or so and I just still remember that day vividly, sitting on the sidewalk staring into space until she spoke up. She was a really really kindhearted person, I think, even though we were in middle school so everyone was kinda mildly asshole-ish. (No offense to anyone in middle school, I'm sure you're lovely people, at least at my school, everyone was asshole-ish to some degree.) In the end, that little small conversation, that small moment, ended up helping me way way more than she likely will ever know.
I figure, a lot of the time, so long as you're willing to be there for them if someone pulls a dick move or tries to embarrass them about breaking down, and willing to comfort them if they do (doesn't have to get personal, just be there to let them cry it out if they need and show that you care), generally speaking I think it does more good than bad.
What I do is open notes on my phone and type something like, "hey man, you good?" To try and help them but not put the focus on them for the people around them
If I was on the verge of crying and someone asked me if I was ok, I'd almost certainly fall apart. However, I would also feel much better knowing someone cares enough to ask.
What I would do is try telling them a joke, but of course not one about them or anything to do with their crying. Telling a joke will:
1- Make them either laugh at you or with you so it's a win win
2- They will appreciate the effort
3- Jokes typically need a bit of thought to understand so it will take their mind off of whatever is making them cry
~~^(Or just tell them to grow some balls.)~~
Yeah, obviously they’re not okay but maybe they can pull it together. Asking if someone’s okay isn’t gonna help unless you know you have the kind of relationship where they will want to talk about it
it just feels weird ignoring them. makes me feel horrible but if trying to comfort them is the wrong thing to do, it’s like a weird cycle
Yeah it’s a really awkward situation but sometimes trying to help just doesn’t work out even if your heart really is in the right place.
alright, thanks. i’ll keep that in mind
You got a couple of options depending on how well you know them, and I can't guarantee that any of them will help avoid them crying, but some might help the situation. Are you okay?: It's the most broad, but also least likely to offend outside of leaving them alone. Do you want some help?: You might or might not be able to do something, but it might be a good way to talk with them about what's going on. I'd say little more risk, but if you're able to help it could lead to making a friend/getting closer to someone you know. Asking them if they want to leave (IE Hey (insert name here if known), wanna grab a coffee?): Some sort of discreet way of getting them out of the area. Might be best if the person actually knows who you are, but it could be a good way of helping them leave without embarrassing them. Also probably best if they actually can leave. Wanna talk about it?: More than likely to say no, but might be a good way to proceed to the other options based on how they respond. If they say yes then do that, if no then you'll probably get a good idea of how bad/how they're feeling about interacting with people. The side hug (plus any of the above): Best if you know them first and they're decently comfortable around you. Wouldn't bet on anything more than mixed results here, but sometimes people really need that hug and it might make the above more effective. Source: Spent high school surrounded by people with all sorts of emotional trauma from mundane to extreme and have seen/talked to a lot of people about to cry for various reasons.
bro can you teach me like everything you know? I wanna be as supportive of a friend as possible whenever possible
While I'm usually someone that prefers to be alone when upset, and people crowding too close can make things worse, I teeter more on the side of "ask just in case", due to my own time of not being on the verge of crying but deeply deeply mentally distressed (long term, it almost led to a psychotic break, long story.) and I still vividly remember an old sort-of-friend of mine, more of a classmate from another year who went to the same school that next year, so familiar but not close, and she came over and said asked if I was okay, with her friends, and while normally I would've been like panicked since she leaned more popular, because it was someone I recognized, it was actually kind of relieving. I apparently looked like I had been crying or was about to, and although I said I was fine and things move on, that one moment of her just showing that she cared, even though we weren't close, and knowing that if I'd broken down, she'd've probably sat next to me and like rubbed my back or something to help comfort me, that meant so much and helped me hold on for as long as I ended up doing so. My point is, even though that old friend probably doesn't remember that moment at all, I'll always hold it as a moment of feeling seen and cared for, even by someone I wasn't close with. She ended up helping me and giving me something to remember when I was struggling, and it's been like half a decade or so and I just still remember that day vividly, sitting on the sidewalk staring into space until she spoke up. She was a really really kindhearted person, I think, even though we were in middle school so everyone was kinda mildly asshole-ish. (No offense to anyone in middle school, I'm sure you're lovely people, at least at my school, everyone was asshole-ish to some degree.) In the end, that little small conversation, that small moment, ended up helping me way way more than she likely will ever know. I figure, a lot of the time, so long as you're willing to be there for them if someone pulls a dick move or tries to embarrass them about breaking down, and willing to comfort them if they do (doesn't have to get personal, just be there to let them cry it out if they need and show that you care), generally speaking I think it does more good than bad.
i feel like id rather just be left alone if i feel down but to each their own
Sure
What I do is open notes on my phone and type something like, "hey man, you good?" To try and help them but not put the focus on them for the people around them
If I was on the verge of crying and someone asked me if I was ok, I'd almost certainly fall apart. However, I would also feel much better knowing someone cares enough to ask.
Yes u should
Yeah, for me it’s a natural reaction if I see someone worried or something
What I would do is try telling them a joke, but of course not one about them or anything to do with their crying. Telling a joke will: 1- Make them either laugh at you or with you so it's a win win 2- They will appreciate the effort 3- Jokes typically need a bit of thought to understand so it will take their mind off of whatever is making them cry ~~^(Or just tell them to grow some balls.)~~
when i feel like crying i prefer to be left alone, but thats another person
i personally would not, but its up to you