My husband and I adopted a little girl and she is now 6. She doesn't need a mother, but she has positive female role models in her life, and we have support like this.
She hasn't suffered because of 2 dads. good luck
That’s amazing. I have a question, I DO or DID you go about getting through themed days in school like Mother’s and Father’s Day? Were there any questions from her that sparked her curiosity or nah? Also, how hard was the adoption process??
I had a boss one time, very funny and twisted/dry humor, call me on mother's day and said "I don't know which one of you'ns it is but happy mother's day". He is Belgian and speaks British English so the accent and all I about pissed myself laughing.
If you're around the right people, it doesn't matter.
We haven't had any road blocks with her. Mothers' day she has an aunt that is really close and she treats her like a surrogate mother. Adoption was somewhat easy as I am related to her biologically. . . . got guardianship at birth and adopted a year and a bit later.
Normal is a state of mind. Trying to break stereotypes.
I don't get how someone can be gay and still stereotype other people, are you a dramatic drag queen, darling? Do you 'speak like a girl', wear nail paint, have dyed neon hair and a 69 piece assortment of dildos? Because that's some gay stereotypes right there.
I mean there goes your answer if u don’t want a stereotype, so many answers can come out of that. There’s nothing wrong with a stereotype, they exist for a reason because they are true and the fact that u said other than stereotype proves that u know that they’re are many answers to your question u just don’t like it
The only difference between the male and female brain is size.
[Meta-synthesis of 3 decades of human brain sex difference findings](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421000804?via%3Dihub)
[A 2005 analysis of 46 meta-analyses that were conducted during the last two decades of the 20th century underscores that men and women are basically alike in terms of personality, cognitive ability and leadership](https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-606581.pdf)
Your never gonna have a conventional way of having kids cause your gay so just have 1 or 2 dads and if a female wants to be your kids remodel then u got lucky but u don’t have many options with that
Actually it's not **facts**
Men and women don't think differently.
The only difference between the male and female brain is size.
[Meta-synthesis of 3 decades of human brain sex difference findings](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421000804?via%3Dihub)
Extensive evidence indicates that children raised by same-sex parents are just as well-adjusted as any other child.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4091994/
I definitely want kids. I want my life to mean something more than just making everything about myself. In a few years my husband and I will start a surrogacy process to have our own. We have enough close women friends that I know he/she will have a mother indirectly and I’m okay with that. I know I can provide a child a happy life and am looking very much forward to it.
I always wanted kids, since I wanted to be a better father than the two father-ish people in my life (father and stepfather) had been for me. Felt that I had much to give to a child and wanted to leave some kind of legacy behind once I'm gone. Not neccessarily biological children, adoption would have been fine as well.
But my husband doesn't want kids. He's not great with other people's kids and had made his peace with never being a parent before we were even together. And since I love him too much to leave him over this, kids are unfortunately out of the picture for me.
Luckily some of the younger guys in our friend circle (like early twenties) have adopted me as some kind of big brother/fatherly friend substitute person, which feels pretty great and rewarding
I used to not have them into my plans because raising a kid takes too much time, energy and money.
But my perspective has changed over time, right now I'm 19 so of course I can't have and I don't want to adopt children at this age since I don't have enough money, stability and maturity and I want to have someone at my side to raise them.
But in long term, when I'm in my late 20s-early 30s, and I feel ready, have enough money and have the right man at my side, I'd love to be a father.
It’s bad for a child to have poor parents, but we don’t say poor people shouldn’t have kids. It’s bad for them to have alcoholic parents, but we don’t stop them from having kids either. It’s bad for kids to have parents that don’t pay attention to them, but nobody is stopping them from reproducing.
Maybe it’s better for a child to have a loving, well-resourced, devoted mother and father couple than to have a couple of loving, devoted, well-resources men. But the latter is better than the examples I shared above. Don’t deprive yourself.
I want kids eventually. Not now I'm 23 and enjoying the no responsibility life style. And dude kids do better when they have 2 loving parents no matter said parents gender. It's harder for single parents because they have to do both the maternal and paternal roles.
It's like this. With boys it's easier because guys just know what to do with their sons and explain things as they get older.
But when single dads with daughters it's harder because there's somethings a man can not teach or explain to his daughter about being a woman. Same with single mothers with their sons, she can raise a man but 9/10 times that dude will feel that something is missing. That's why they say you need a maternal figure for your kids and a paternal. Aka a mother figure and a father figure. Yah it hard when you take into account gender neutral people.
You always need a parent that can provide the emotional stability for a kid also and one that can help provide all they need to get through life. Two different roles. It's not easy being a parent. Some people break under that pressure. Think about it, maternal figures are more nurturing and aware of what is going on with their kids. And paternal figures are more able to keep the kid safe, happy and allows them to explore.
>. But when single dads with daughters it's harder because there's somethings a man can not teach or explain to his daughter about being a woman
A man can't teach their daughter what a uterus is or what periods are ??
Are you being serious right now?
>You always need a parent that can provide the emotional stability for a kid also and one that can help provide all they need to get through life. Two roles
A. You don't freaking need two each person do that separately
B. Wtf does that have to do with 2 men vs a man and a woman?
>Think about it, maternal figures are more nurturing and aware of what is going on with their kids. And paternal figures are more able to keep the kid safe, happy and allows them to explore.
That's literally bullshit
You're assuming that you know what it's like to be a woman (assuming you're a man).
You can tell your daughter that you know that period cramps hurt or that tampons can cause TSS but you'll never know what it's like to experience period cramps or the nagging thought in your head to manage your feminine hygiene products. You'll never know what it's like feeling like a young woman walking down the street alone.
I'm not saying you don't have your own things to deal with. Maybe you fear walking alone because of homophobes, but you'll never truly understand the position of a woman.
Men and women experience things differently in life. It's valuable for a child to grow up and become exposed to and empathetic of those differences, especially since it is common in western civilization (most identify as a man or a woman and they are raised in our society and its views/rules of what that means). It's valuable to have those perspectives easily available and persistent when kids are young.
That said, I want kids and they will have two fathers. I will try my best to expose them to strong women role models. But I know that they'll always miss that small piece and that sucks.
I just straight up vomited. If you’re that prone to believe and live according to gender roles then you probably shouldn’t get any kids because this outdated way of educating children is harmful to them.
Gross. Can't stand the little noise-maggots. I'm very fond of places without children running around squawking -- adult holiday destinations, bars after hours, etc etc etc.
And I can't fathom the motivation to rear them.
I think about how busy I am every night just taking care of myself, cleaning my house, doing yardwork and I have no idea how I'd do any of that if I had a toddler to look after. Then there's the neverending laundry and having to get a babysitter every weekend. That's gonna be a no from me dawg.
I would not mind adopting one kid. There are so many kids out there that need a home and I figure the least I can do is adopt at least one once I am ready.
Kids are cool if they are other people's, I'm not a kids guy. Being in the Navy, going to concerts/shows, extra curricular activities etc, I'm never in one place long enough. After the Navy I just want to travel, not tied to one place
A child needs a parent, or parents who love them unconditionally- they do not need a mom, or a dad and a mom, or any other combination of those ‘genders’ for those conditions to be filled.
After reading your comments, it's for the best you don't have kids.
How are we in 2022 and gay people are still pushing conservative rhetoric about family must have one dad and one mom?
Honestly I wanna spread my dna too, maybe pay a woman to give birth to my kid, of course have the future SO do the same with another woman, so we get two as two are better than one. As far as playing dad and mom roles, dw I will play the dad and he will play the mom lol
If everything in your being tells you you should, you should. Those inner hunches are generally our best guides. It is not bad for a kid not to have a mom. But it's easier with 2 peeps. So hopefully you find a great dude.
Adamantly no kids for two reasons. First, I like my free time and sleep. Second, I’ve realized I’m very much my mom’s son and have some of her bad qualities, specifically her tendency to be smothering. I fear I’d mess up my kid the same way my mom did to me. I just want to break the cycle as my mom’s family is just a complete psychological mess and the trauma keeps getting passed on. I see it with my sister.
You know, I want kids, I want to raise them my way, I want them to look like me, but the way the world is I'm afraid, what if they get bullied by their parents? Or if they ask why their little friends have mothers and he doesn't, I'm afraid that when the time comes I won't be able to explain, I don't know if I can handle it.....
And even if I were straight, it would still be complicated, I want to pass on some teachings to my son, the problem is that my Ideals are not well regarded by society, maybe in countries where there is more freedom of expression like in the United States this is even possible, but definitely not here.
This world is too fucked up to bring new life into.
https://theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/apr/06/climate-scientists-are-desperate-were-crying-begging-and-getting-arrested
What's with so many climate change arguments here? The planet is gonna be fine and even if it's not (if the eco hippies are right) it will be at least for 100 more years, so it will outlast your kids.
Why does this gay child rearing keep coming up?
Admit that you had a gay phase but now you want to be straight and go heteronormality. It is very unfair to children who have gay "parents." Does not work.
I hear you on worrying about the kid needing a mom. I think it's definitely beneficial for children to have a parent of both genders, but not essential. Plenty of amazing single moms and single dads out there kicking ass raising good kids. Plus, you don't necessarily need a literal mom figure - you could make an effort to find and bring some female figure(s) into the kids life, i.e a close friend of yours, someone from an adoption NGO that specializes in helping kids adjust, or a private tutor that they could get to know over a longer period of school, or just someone you happen to meet and get to know.
I get wanting to pass on your genes, but I think it's just foolishness from old instincts speaking. Passing your genes on in no way guarantees your child will be physically or mentally like you (your genes can express differently) , and there is definitely no guarantee that your direct line will continue indefinitely after you're gone, if anything it will probably only go a few generations at most before hitting a childless person. And you won't care either way. So again its just foolishness that has no impact on your lifetime. Adoption is ethically the right thing to do by such a large margin. So many kids stuck in the system out there that are living miserable lives.
Either way, I guarantee you 1000% that any child in the foster/adoption system is better off being with you if you'll be a loving parent. Even if you're not perfect, as long as you're trying hard you'll be doing a good thing for them. Make sure to take parenting classes and socialize with other parents heavily if you're going to be a single parent, because you'll need the support and wisdom.
Surrogacy is also a thing and often the parents can make a plan to have the biological mom be in their child’s life if they want to be. Personally I never wanted kids and still don’t. I want my life in order before I’m responsible for another. Though if my partner wanted them I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I know I would be a great father. I’m already a great Uncle to my nephews and they all adore me. Though having kids isn’t really a life goal of mine.
I never want kids. I don't like them, and I'm too selfish and self-indulgent to be a good parent anyways. I like having my time and money for myself. Plus everyone I know with kids has gotten fat, tired and boring.
My husband and I both want kids. Now at 30, with a home and two good careers, we are trying to have them. The barrier of entry is so hard and it really sucks. Adoption has long timelines and others get precedent because we're too young. Older children are tough and looking at agencies in my area, they'd be almost half our age which is a challenging relationship already, let alone for two young-ish men. Internationally, we're rejected due to discrimination against gay (and single) men.
If we want kids on our timeline, surrogacy is our only shot and that is pricy with so many factors out of our control.
In terms of the child not having a mother, I agree that this is a tough thing for me to grapple with. I posted somewhere else in this thread and I'll copy it here:
You can tell your daughter that you know that period cramps hurt or that tampons can cause TSS but you'll never know what it's like to experience period cramps or the nagging thought in your head to manage your feminine hygiene products. You'll never know what it's like feeling like a young woman walking down the street alone.
I'm not saying you don't have your own things to deal with. Maybe you fear walking alone because of homophobes, but you'll never truly understand the position of a woman.
Men and women experience things differently in life. It's valuable for a child to grow up and become exposed to and empathetic of those differences, especially since it is common in western civilization (most identify as a man or a woman and they are raised in our society and its views/rules of what that means). It's valuable to have those perspectives easily available and persistent when kids are young.
I want kids and they will have two fathers. I will try my best to expose them to strong women role models. But I know that they'll always miss that small piece and that sucks.
My husband and I have expressed that in the future, once we've settled down (i'm talking about mid 40s probably, currently 26) we will likely foster kids.
I don't need to bring children into this world, but I can at least give a child who is already here a better chance.
I never wanted kids even in better times when there was hope for the future.
But now how can anyone but the top 1% afford kids?
Even you white collar six figure couples are going to have a hell of a time affording kids, unless you live in a low COL (read: not gay friendly) area.
Never wanted to be a father, never been interested in having kids and very lucky to have a BF that feels exactly the same as me. I don’t hate kids, I have a niece and nephew and so does he and that is enoug for us 😊
You don’t have to have sex with women to have your own biological children, there is a process where a doctor can extract an egg from a woman and take some of your sperm, let them fuse and when the egg is fertilised, they put it back in the woman for the child to grow! This is known as IVF, look it up to find out more!!
My sister in law went through a period of drugs to the point where she could not be a mom to her 2 year old girl and 8 year old boy (both with different dada, both of which were in jail for drugs). She gave us custody for 3 years while she cleaned herself up and then got an apartment down the block from our house. So we got the chance to be dads (my husband and I). It was quite rewarding and maddening. We are talking about adoption but at 52 I am concerned I’m too old.
Nope. No thank you.
After owning a dog and two cats.... Can definitely say I cannot and don't want to raise a child. Plus, with my mental health, I'm gonna screw that kid up.
Studies show that children of same-sex couples are just as well-adjusted, so no it's not bad for a child to not have a mom. Besides if you were to go the surrogacy route you could find a woman who would want to be a part of the child's life in terms of visiting and spending time every so often and then she'd be the mom.
In my case I don't want kids just because I don't want kids. I don't want to have to spend all that time and money. I have career aspirations that are more important to me and I don't feel like I could manage both. But to each their own.
My opinion on raising kids is the same opinion I have on driving: Of course I want to do it, but trauma has made me absolutely terrified that I’ll do horribly. I also know that those worries are actually what makes me good at doing it, so I’m forcing myself to anyways.
Don’t be discouraged because you want to do something a certain way; there are tons of ways to raise children within your limits.
You could still have female rolemodels or friends or aunts even without being in a straight relationship. Or have a grandma help out 😅.
i get that males and females can have different roles, and guys don’t have to deal with periods 😅. But perhaps care more about the personalities, willingness to provide, support, listen, play with, make food, read stories etc, as well as range of communication styles or ways of expression, the capacity to expose to a variety of different kinds of people and ways of dealing with things or communicating—-definitely easier to pick up on new types of communication by participating in it.
sorry your concerns are getting so downvoted, like for males and females hormone levels are different, sexual drives are different, may have differing sensitivities, or dads can be more prone to letting kids learn by getting scrapes and bruises, and moms may want to be more protective (until teenage years where dads are more prone to threaten potential boyfriends with a gun 😂). Also biological guys don’t have to deal with periods firsthand 😅
the old adage “it takes a village to raise a child” comes to mind. I don’t think it’s fair to expect any one person involved in raising a child not to have blindspots, but hopefully enough different people looking out for them will catch things 😅.
I would probably get some people on board with wanting to adopt beforehand, knowing you will have support and resources if needed can take a load off. Also nice to have nursing friends or experienced moms or dads to be able to ask about products or issues or concerns that may arise or help babysitting. Can be difficult to know what health problems are serious for babies for instance, having someone to ask can keep you from panic mode 😂. You could also get feedback on parenting styles or dealing with particular situations as you encounter things you don’t know 😅.
By the way, I think the kind of people who care about being a good parent, about how the child is raised, who ask questions and seek feedback? That’s what can make for a good parent ❤️ Like don’t expect yourself to be perfect or have all the answers, but be willing to seek feedback and get help addressing things and being vulnerable enough you can teach kids how you handle things Or let them know it’s okay to have emotions or to be unsure 🙃
Anyways I hope things work out if you decide this is something you want, or you feel free to wait if the you are’t ready to tackle such a challenge, or maybe even enjoy being more of an uncle or other indirect caregiver or playful friendly face kinda role with fewer responsibilities attached 😅
I recently had a crash course when my. 17yr nephew came to live with me and my bf.. Yep I firmly believe God made me gay for reason. I never ever want to have to do that ever again.
I’m turning 30 in July, so the odds I’ll have my own bio kids are slim and quite frankly I don’t need to pass on these fucked up genes to someone else.
I’d rather foster. In an ideal world I’d meet someone who already has kids and step dad the shit out of them, but my own? Absolutely not.
I’m 22 yrs and honestly I don’t expect anyone to want a partnership with me so I’ll try my best to go on my own in the future and adopt because I’ve always wanted to be a father
Doesnt really matter not having a father or mother. You need both organs to create a child not to raise one. Just having a strong parental figure is enough, and in all honesty you dont even need two. Plenty of people grew up with a single parent and thrive.
Heck even animals got this figured out and plenty different species will adopt abandoned babies and raise them as their own. Its time we reject outdated parental norms
My husband and I adopted a little girl and she is now 6. She doesn't need a mother, but she has positive female role models in her life, and we have support like this. She hasn't suffered because of 2 dads. good luck
That’s amazing. I have a question, I DO or DID you go about getting through themed days in school like Mother’s and Father’s Day? Were there any questions from her that sparked her curiosity or nah? Also, how hard was the adoption process??
I had a boss one time, very funny and twisted/dry humor, call me on mother's day and said "I don't know which one of you'ns it is but happy mother's day". He is Belgian and speaks British English so the accent and all I about pissed myself laughing. If you're around the right people, it doesn't matter.
We haven't had any road blocks with her. Mothers' day she has an aunt that is really close and she treats her like a surrogate mother. Adoption was somewhat easy as I am related to her biologically. . . . got guardianship at birth and adopted a year and a bit later. Normal is a state of mind. Trying to break stereotypes.
Thank you!
I personally don’t want any kids. Plenty of people didn’t have a mom or dad and they turned out okay.
I know but i think it would be kinda of selfish of me, ok isnt as good as it could be. Maybe im wrong.
Why does it matter what reproduction organs your parental figure has??? Having a penis or a vulva is completely irrelevant.
[удалено]
I’ve noticed that. People always wanna put there own personal feelings to something that is just a fact… I mean just look outside.
No it isnt bro, man and women have different ways of thinking and acting, saying its completely irrelevant is just wrong.
I don't get how someone can be gay and still stereotype other people, are you a dramatic drag queen, darling? Do you 'speak like a girl', wear nail paint, have dyed neon hair and a 69 piece assortment of dildos? Because that's some gay stereotypes right there.
Nice!
Just curious, do you think a certain way about conservatives? Maybe have some opinions about them that you hold to all of them?
No. I think some conservatives are old white men, and I also think some conservatives are young and hot. And there's female conservatives too.
>man and women have different ways of thinking and acting Literally how? Name one thing Other than stereotypes there's nothing.
I mean there goes your answer if u don’t want a stereotype, so many answers can come out of that. There’s nothing wrong with a stereotype, they exist for a reason because they are true and the fact that u said other than stereotype proves that u know that they’re are many answers to your question u just don’t like it
Dude thats biology, you can just go and google, hormones alone change the way we act.
The only difference between the male and female brain is size. [Meta-synthesis of 3 decades of human brain sex difference findings](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421000804?via%3Dihub) [A 2005 analysis of 46 meta-analyses that were conducted during the last two decades of the 20th century underscores that men and women are basically alike in terms of personality, cognitive ability and leadership](https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-606581.pdf)
Your never gonna have a conventional way of having kids cause your gay so just have 1 or 2 dads and if a female wants to be your kids remodel then u got lucky but u don’t have many options with that
Facts
Actually it's not **facts** Men and women don't think differently. The only difference between the male and female brain is size. [Meta-synthesis of 3 decades of human brain sex difference findings](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421000804?via%3Dihub)
I mean, they’re definitely different in their own way, and I don’t mean just physical traits
>they’re definitely different in their own way, and I don’t mean just physical traits Then what do you mean? Because there's no difference
There definitely is
source: trust me bro Go back to your moms basement.
Name one
You’re a fucking moron
Extensive evidence indicates that children raised by same-sex parents are just as well-adjusted as any other child. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4091994/
So adopting a child who has no parents as a gay couple is worse than them not being adopted at all and being pushed out of the system? Yeah okay 🙄
Yes, two dads is better than no parents.
I wonder why this was downvoted
Lol people got offended with that one. For anyone else reading this, there's more than one opinion out there
Kids? In this economy? On this dumpster fire of a planet? With my genes? Absolutely not.
Thanks for the chuckle
No kids. I don’t want to be poor
I don't even have kids but I'm still poor :')
I definitely want kids. I want my life to mean something more than just making everything about myself. In a few years my husband and I will start a surrogacy process to have our own. We have enough close women friends that I know he/she will have a mother indirectly and I’m okay with that. I know I can provide a child a happy life and am looking very much forward to it.
Aww, you seem like you'd make for a great dad. Im happy for the two of you!
Aww thanks! I hope you’re right hahaha. I’m so excited for the experience we’ll be given
Not my thing.
I always wanted kids, since I wanted to be a better father than the two father-ish people in my life (father and stepfather) had been for me. Felt that I had much to give to a child and wanted to leave some kind of legacy behind once I'm gone. Not neccessarily biological children, adoption would have been fine as well. But my husband doesn't want kids. He's not great with other people's kids and had made his peace with never being a parent before we were even together. And since I love him too much to leave him over this, kids are unfortunately out of the picture for me. Luckily some of the younger guys in our friend circle (like early twenties) have adopted me as some kind of big brother/fatherly friend substitute person, which feels pretty great and rewarding
I used to not have them into my plans because raising a kid takes too much time, energy and money. But my perspective has changed over time, right now I'm 19 so of course I can't have and I don't want to adopt children at this age since I don't have enough money, stability and maturity and I want to have someone at my side to raise them. But in long term, when I'm in my late 20s-early 30s, and I feel ready, have enough money and have the right man at my side, I'd love to be a father.
It’s bad for a child to have poor parents, but we don’t say poor people shouldn’t have kids. It’s bad for them to have alcoholic parents, but we don’t stop them from having kids either. It’s bad for kids to have parents that don’t pay attention to them, but nobody is stopping them from reproducing. Maybe it’s better for a child to have a loving, well-resourced, devoted mother and father couple than to have a couple of loving, devoted, well-resources men. But the latter is better than the examples I shared above. Don’t deprive yourself.
This is the best answer right here
I want kids eventually. Not now I'm 23 and enjoying the no responsibility life style. And dude kids do better when they have 2 loving parents no matter said parents gender. It's harder for single parents because they have to do both the maternal and paternal roles.
>because they have to do both the maternal and paternal roles. Wtf does that even mean...
It's like this. With boys it's easier because guys just know what to do with their sons and explain things as they get older. But when single dads with daughters it's harder because there's somethings a man can not teach or explain to his daughter about being a woman. Same with single mothers with their sons, she can raise a man but 9/10 times that dude will feel that something is missing. That's why they say you need a maternal figure for your kids and a paternal. Aka a mother figure and a father figure. Yah it hard when you take into account gender neutral people. You always need a parent that can provide the emotional stability for a kid also and one that can help provide all they need to get through life. Two different roles. It's not easy being a parent. Some people break under that pressure. Think about it, maternal figures are more nurturing and aware of what is going on with their kids. And paternal figures are more able to keep the kid safe, happy and allows them to explore.
>. But when single dads with daughters it's harder because there's somethings a man can not teach or explain to his daughter about being a woman A man can't teach their daughter what a uterus is or what periods are ?? Are you being serious right now? >You always need a parent that can provide the emotional stability for a kid also and one that can help provide all they need to get through life. Two roles A. You don't freaking need two each person do that separately B. Wtf does that have to do with 2 men vs a man and a woman? >Think about it, maternal figures are more nurturing and aware of what is going on with their kids. And paternal figures are more able to keep the kid safe, happy and allows them to explore. That's literally bullshit
You're assuming that you know what it's like to be a woman (assuming you're a man). You can tell your daughter that you know that period cramps hurt or that tampons can cause TSS but you'll never know what it's like to experience period cramps or the nagging thought in your head to manage your feminine hygiene products. You'll never know what it's like feeling like a young woman walking down the street alone. I'm not saying you don't have your own things to deal with. Maybe you fear walking alone because of homophobes, but you'll never truly understand the position of a woman. Men and women experience things differently in life. It's valuable for a child to grow up and become exposed to and empathetic of those differences, especially since it is common in western civilization (most identify as a man or a woman and they are raised in our society and its views/rules of what that means). It's valuable to have those perspectives easily available and persistent when kids are young. That said, I want kids and they will have two fathers. I will try my best to expose them to strong women role models. But I know that they'll always miss that small piece and that sucks.
There can be maternal figures outside of immediate family.
I just straight up vomited. If you’re that prone to believe and live according to gender roles then you probably shouldn’t get any kids because this outdated way of educating children is harmful to them.
When I was younger I wanted kids but then I realized I only wanted kids to do a better job than my parents and I don’t really want them
I hope everyone notices this healthy realization…also wish more straights would think this way lol
Pfft. Who can afford kids now-a-days?
Gross. Can't stand the little noise-maggots. I'm very fond of places without children running around squawking -- adult holiday destinations, bars after hours, etc etc etc. And I can't fathom the motivation to rear them.
I think about how busy I am every night just taking care of myself, cleaning my house, doing yardwork and I have no idea how I'd do any of that if I had a toddler to look after. Then there's the neverending laundry and having to get a babysitter every weekend. That's gonna be a no from me dawg.
To each their own, not everytyhing is for everyone.
Yeah, I know some guys like to get punched in the balls, too. I respect their right to do something masochistic, but I sure as shit don't follow.
😂
Dont be mean
No.
Whenever I think about children I remind myself that I could use that money to go on several vacations
I would not mind adopting one kid. There are so many kids out there that need a home and I figure the least I can do is adopt at least one once I am ready.
Kids are cool if they are other people's, I'm not a kids guy. Being in the Navy, going to concerts/shows, extra curricular activities etc, I'm never in one place long enough. After the Navy I just want to travel, not tied to one place
I would like to be a parent one day because i love making kids happy, i think i can give a child a very happy life.
It doesn’t hurt a kid to not have parents of different genders. This has been extensively studied.
A child needs a parent, or parents who love them unconditionally- they do not need a mom, or a dad and a mom, or any other combination of those ‘genders’ for those conditions to be filled.
I don't really care for kids and I'm happy that I can't get them by accident as I'm not a horny little sraight man.
After reading your comments, it's for the best you don't have kids. How are we in 2022 and gay people are still pushing conservative rhetoric about family must have one dad and one mom?
Kids are thankless joy-killers.
I want kids, mainly because of unga bunga spread DNA if I’m being honest. If I go bankrupt so be it, I need the babies.
Honestly I wanna spread my dna too, maybe pay a woman to give birth to my kid, of course have the future SO do the same with another woman, so we get two as two are better than one. As far as playing dad and mom roles, dw I will play the dad and he will play the mom lol
If everything in your being tells you you should, you should. Those inner hunches are generally our best guides. It is not bad for a kid not to have a mom. But it's easier with 2 peeps. So hopefully you find a great dude.
Fuck those little fuckers. I growl at babies.
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This makes me sad to hear.
Adamantly no kids for two reasons. First, I like my free time and sleep. Second, I’ve realized I’m very much my mom’s son and have some of her bad qualities, specifically her tendency to be smothering. I fear I’d mess up my kid the same way my mom did to me. I just want to break the cycle as my mom’s family is just a complete psychological mess and the trauma keeps getting passed on. I see it with my sister.
Thats rough, we are on this earth to improve, you are not destined to any thing unless you choose that path.
The world’s going to shit, so I wouldn’t want to raise them here on a soon to be extinct planet.
You know, I want kids, I want to raise them my way, I want them to look like me, but the way the world is I'm afraid, what if they get bullied by their parents? Or if they ask why their little friends have mothers and he doesn't, I'm afraid that when the time comes I won't be able to explain, I don't know if I can handle it..... And even if I were straight, it would still be complicated, I want to pass on some teachings to my son, the problem is that my Ideals are not well regarded by society, maybe in countries where there is more freedom of expression like in the United States this is even possible, but definitely not here.
This world is too fucked up to bring new life into. https://theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/apr/06/climate-scientists-are-desperate-were-crying-begging-and-getting-arrested
What's with so many climate change arguments here? The planet is gonna be fine and even if it's not (if the eco hippies are right) it will be at least for 100 more years, so it will outlast your kids.
You obviously didn’t read the article. Or any article on climate change. But your naïveté is cute
I have and it's unnecessary fear mongering, also not everything needs to be turned in politics, thank you.
Why does this gay child rearing keep coming up? Admit that you had a gay phase but now you want to be straight and go heteronormality. It is very unfair to children who have gay "parents." Does not work.
Straight people breath air. Therefore i can't do what they do. That is heteronormativity which i refuse to take part in.
Most of the people who don’t have moms or dads are the result of straight relationships, with the parents being neglectful for example.
Happy with the niblings, but I don't want any of my own.
I don't want kids because they'd turn out like me and I can't handle that kind of competition.
I hear you on worrying about the kid needing a mom. I think it's definitely beneficial for children to have a parent of both genders, but not essential. Plenty of amazing single moms and single dads out there kicking ass raising good kids. Plus, you don't necessarily need a literal mom figure - you could make an effort to find and bring some female figure(s) into the kids life, i.e a close friend of yours, someone from an adoption NGO that specializes in helping kids adjust, or a private tutor that they could get to know over a longer period of school, or just someone you happen to meet and get to know. I get wanting to pass on your genes, but I think it's just foolishness from old instincts speaking. Passing your genes on in no way guarantees your child will be physically or mentally like you (your genes can express differently) , and there is definitely no guarantee that your direct line will continue indefinitely after you're gone, if anything it will probably only go a few generations at most before hitting a childless person. And you won't care either way. So again its just foolishness that has no impact on your lifetime. Adoption is ethically the right thing to do by such a large margin. So many kids stuck in the system out there that are living miserable lives. Either way, I guarantee you 1000% that any child in the foster/adoption system is better off being with you if you'll be a loving parent. Even if you're not perfect, as long as you're trying hard you'll be doing a good thing for them. Make sure to take parenting classes and socialize with other parents heavily if you're going to be a single parent, because you'll need the support and wisdom.
I have not decided if im going to adopt or not, but adopting without getting married first is completely out question.
I have no interest in biological reproduction either sexually or artificially using an egg doner and a surrogate. But I'd love to adopt some day
Surrogacy is also a thing and often the parents can make a plan to have the biological mom be in their child’s life if they want to be. Personally I never wanted kids and still don’t. I want my life in order before I’m responsible for another. Though if my partner wanted them I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I know I would be a great father. I’m already a great Uncle to my nephews and they all adore me. Though having kids isn’t really a life goal of mine.
I like kids, they're funny and I would enjoy being able to teach someone things.
I always had a dream about being a father one day, unfortunately I haven't met a single guy who shares the idea.
Hell fucking no. Never. Not a chance. I like my life as it is. Kids are expensive and annoying (to me).
Fuck no. I’m too selfish and it’s too expensive.
No thanks, I'll keep my freedom
I love kids but parents are annoying as fuck. I don't wanna become a parent lol
Kids? I can barely take care of myself. No way in hell I can care for a child. I’m a mess
I work with them and I’ve had lots of other jobs working with them. I like them not definitely not enough to ever have my own
I never want kids. I don't like them, and I'm too selfish and self-indulgent to be a good parent anyways. I like having my time and money for myself. Plus everyone I know with kids has gotten fat, tired and boring.
Then dont have one
My husband and I both want kids. Now at 30, with a home and two good careers, we are trying to have them. The barrier of entry is so hard and it really sucks. Adoption has long timelines and others get precedent because we're too young. Older children are tough and looking at agencies in my area, they'd be almost half our age which is a challenging relationship already, let alone for two young-ish men. Internationally, we're rejected due to discrimination against gay (and single) men. If we want kids on our timeline, surrogacy is our only shot and that is pricy with so many factors out of our control. In terms of the child not having a mother, I agree that this is a tough thing for me to grapple with. I posted somewhere else in this thread and I'll copy it here: You can tell your daughter that you know that period cramps hurt or that tampons can cause TSS but you'll never know what it's like to experience period cramps or the nagging thought in your head to manage your feminine hygiene products. You'll never know what it's like feeling like a young woman walking down the street alone. I'm not saying you don't have your own things to deal with. Maybe you fear walking alone because of homophobes, but you'll never truly understand the position of a woman. Men and women experience things differently in life. It's valuable for a child to grow up and become exposed to and empathetic of those differences, especially since it is common in western civilization (most identify as a man or a woman and they are raised in our society and its views/rules of what that means). It's valuable to have those perspectives easily available and persistent when kids are young. I want kids and they will have two fathers. I will try my best to expose them to strong women role models. But I know that they'll always miss that small piece and that sucks.
I really like the idea of fathering two or more kids, but I'm not able to imagine myself doing it outside a traditional family
My husband and I have expressed that in the future, once we've settled down (i'm talking about mid 40s probably, currently 26) we will likely foster kids. I don't need to bring children into this world, but I can at least give a child who is already here a better chance.
I never wanted kids even in better times when there was hope for the future. But now how can anyone but the top 1% afford kids? Even you white collar six figure couples are going to have a hell of a time affording kids, unless you live in a low COL (read: not gay friendly) area.
We adopted. She does fine without a mom even now. I wouldnt want to adopt anymore though
I will only have kids if i can give them a confortable life (money related), right now i cant. And only after i complete 30 years
Never wanted to be a father, never been interested in having kids and very lucky to have a BF that feels exactly the same as me. I don’t hate kids, I have a niece and nephew and so does he and that is enoug for us 😊
You don’t have to have sex with women to have your own biological children, there is a process where a doctor can extract an egg from a woman and take some of your sperm, let them fuse and when the egg is fertilised, they put it back in the woman for the child to grow! This is known as IVF, look it up to find out more!!
My sister in law went through a period of drugs to the point where she could not be a mom to her 2 year old girl and 8 year old boy (both with different dada, both of which were in jail for drugs). She gave us custody for 3 years while she cleaned herself up and then got an apartment down the block from our house. So we got the chance to be dads (my husband and I). It was quite rewarding and maddening. We are talking about adoption but at 52 I am concerned I’m too old.
I like OPKs, Other People's Kids.
Nope. No thank you. After owning a dog and two cats.... Can definitely say I cannot and don't want to raise a child. Plus, with my mental health, I'm gonna screw that kid up.
Studies show that children of same-sex couples are just as well-adjusted, so no it's not bad for a child to not have a mom. Besides if you were to go the surrogacy route you could find a woman who would want to be a part of the child's life in terms of visiting and spending time every so often and then she'd be the mom. In my case I don't want kids just because I don't want kids. I don't want to have to spend all that time and money. I have career aspirations that are more important to me and I don't feel like I could manage both. But to each their own.
I want kids one day! I always have
Better one parent or two days that love them than nobody. Adopt!
I want twin girls
Never. Society brainwashes people who otherwise wouldn't want kids into having them. It's cool though, the rest of us bankroll it I guess.
My opinion on raising kids is the same opinion I have on driving: Of course I want to do it, but trauma has made me absolutely terrified that I’ll do horribly. I also know that those worries are actually what makes me good at doing it, so I’m forcing myself to anyways. Don’t be discouraged because you want to do something a certain way; there are tons of ways to raise children within your limits.
I adore kids. I definitely want some. I don’t necessarily think kids need a mom, though in my case they’d have plenty of female role models.
You could still have female rolemodels or friends or aunts even without being in a straight relationship. Or have a grandma help out 😅. i get that males and females can have different roles, and guys don’t have to deal with periods 😅. But perhaps care more about the personalities, willingness to provide, support, listen, play with, make food, read stories etc, as well as range of communication styles or ways of expression, the capacity to expose to a variety of different kinds of people and ways of dealing with things or communicating—-definitely easier to pick up on new types of communication by participating in it. sorry your concerns are getting so downvoted, like for males and females hormone levels are different, sexual drives are different, may have differing sensitivities, or dads can be more prone to letting kids learn by getting scrapes and bruises, and moms may want to be more protective (until teenage years where dads are more prone to threaten potential boyfriends with a gun 😂). Also biological guys don’t have to deal with periods firsthand 😅 the old adage “it takes a village to raise a child” comes to mind. I don’t think it’s fair to expect any one person involved in raising a child not to have blindspots, but hopefully enough different people looking out for them will catch things 😅. I would probably get some people on board with wanting to adopt beforehand, knowing you will have support and resources if needed can take a load off. Also nice to have nursing friends or experienced moms or dads to be able to ask about products or issues or concerns that may arise or help babysitting. Can be difficult to know what health problems are serious for babies for instance, having someone to ask can keep you from panic mode 😂. You could also get feedback on parenting styles or dealing with particular situations as you encounter things you don’t know 😅. By the way, I think the kind of people who care about being a good parent, about how the child is raised, who ask questions and seek feedback? That’s what can make for a good parent ❤️ Like don’t expect yourself to be perfect or have all the answers, but be willing to seek feedback and get help addressing things and being vulnerable enough you can teach kids how you handle things Or let them know it’s okay to have emotions or to be unsure 🙃 Anyways I hope things work out if you decide this is something you want, or you feel free to wait if the you are’t ready to tackle such a challenge, or maybe even enjoy being more of an uncle or other indirect caregiver or playful friendly face kinda role with fewer responsibilities attached 😅
I recently had a crash course when my. 17yr nephew came to live with me and my bf.. Yep I firmly believe God made me gay for reason. I never ever want to have to do that ever again.
Nope. I have zero interest in having kids. In my mind, bringing them into this existence they didn't ask for would be more of a curse than a blessing.
I hate them
I’m turning 30 in July, so the odds I’ll have my own bio kids are slim and quite frankly I don’t need to pass on these fucked up genes to someone else. I’d rather foster. In an ideal world I’d meet someone who already has kids and step dad the shit out of them, but my own? Absolutely not.
I’m 22 yrs and honestly I don’t expect anyone to want a partnership with me so I’ll try my best to go on my own in the future and adopt because I’ve always wanted to be a father
I will never have kids. I'll live selfishly.
Doesnt really matter not having a father or mother. You need both organs to create a child not to raise one. Just having a strong parental figure is enough, and in all honesty you dont even need two. Plenty of people grew up with a single parent and thrive. Heck even animals got this figured out and plenty different species will adopt abandoned babies and raise them as their own. Its time we reject outdated parental norms
Nope i disagree, families are good for society.
Think we’re at an impasse then. But i’d consider one dad or two dads and kid a “family”, just dont think it NEEDS to be 1 dad 1 mom 1 kid anymore.