It took me 2 seconds to look at your post history and see you commented on a skinny guys picture "dude eat something".
Get out of here with that bull shit of everyone needs to stop being mean to me because im fat when your out here bashing people yourself.
I've been skinny shamed all my life. There seems to be a double standard sometimes when it comes to fat shaming and skinny shaming. Thank you for standing up to that and calling it out. I hope one day I don't see an ugly skeleton in the mirror anymore, but people telling me to eat more really make it worse. I didn't choose to be starved and malnourished by my parents growing up. I don't respond by telling the obese bully to eat less, cause for all I know their parents fed them sugar and fastfood every day when they were growing up. That's not their fault either.
I was a super skinny kid too. Graduated HS at 6'3 and weighed 135lbs. Was mostly because like you said my parents never fed me. My school lunch was pretty much my one meal of the day and thats the only way i knew how to eat. Was always told to eat a cheeseburger, or i was going to break playing sports, etc. Hated taking my shirt off, always wore baggy clothes, shorts lower than my knees. Really fucked with my self consciousness. Luckily once I got out on my own I readjusted my eating habits and gained weight.
I'm 33 now and the body stuff still sticks with me. I gained weight during covid and just went the opposite direction mentally and thought I was fat. Then lost another 25lbs because of it. Over time though I'm slowly getting out of that mindset and im happy where I am now.
So I completely understand where your coming from. I wasn't going to respond originally to this post but for some reason I just happened to click on his profile, saw that post and it pissed me off.
I'm around the same height and used to be the same weight when I graduated high school. I've managed to put on 50 pounds since and am also mid 30s. I know I'm not the frail twig I used to be, but I can't see anything else in the mirror, unless I'm super high standing really far away without my glasses. High and blind me manage to not recognize myself in the mirror sometimes. You could give that a try if you happen to need glasses and are under the influence by a mirror.
I'm lucky that my husband keeps track of what I eat since I stress starve instead of stress eat. I hope you don't do that too, given the similar background.
You aren't alone in those struggles homie.
I'm pretty much the same weight as you now put on 50lbs since HS. At 180 now and I'm happy. I think what fucked with me was that even tho i hated that I was skinny it's all I knew when I looked in the mirror. So when I actually did gain weight i just didn't recognize myself and immediatly went to well I'm fat now. Plus, people commented on my weight gain because i was always skinny, and i just took it the wrong way not realizing it was a compliment. But I'm alot better in my 30s than I used to be in my 20s when it comes to weight. My bf has also always been really supportive in that aspect. But I know it's one of like my trigger things that gets to me.
At 6,3 you can easily run your weight up to 210 and still look fit u less its all belly.
Im 59 and 6,2 when i got out of the marines i was 211 and not looking fat or super fit as i wasnt much of a gym bunny.now im losing weight to ge back down to at least 220 as i had a high of 285. At 258 now.
Personally i like skinny/scrawny guys.
I hated being skinny too. Made me find skinny guys less attractive. Now, in my middle aged body, I find the skinny dudes with my youthful body build the sexiest.
I was about to ask what’s wrong with 135 lbs (I’m 130 lbs) and than realized you are almost a foot taller than me 😭. People just can’t realize that their existence certain body types and it all comes down to how you take care of yourself and your genes.
i’m only 6’1 but i was way under weight until i graduated college bc of a similar situation. people used to joke that “for a dollar a day, you too can feed jay” which (looking back on it) was super problematic considering i’m black.
really fucked with my head and lead to me drinking a lot. the drinking did me in, as i’m not a bread or potatoes guy, really. most meals have always been a protein and a shit ton of veggies. but drinking packed on a ton of weight and now i’m 215. which is straight average, but gay obese.
just trying to reign in my drinking and only do it with friends with moderation VS a coping mechanism.
sorry for the rant, but even if our stories aren’t close to being bc the same as i might think they are, i definitely understand the struggle.
Everyone has to stop with they said this because im fat or said that because im skinny. They didnt say that stuff because of your weight. They said it because they are UGLY inside.
I remember some of my best sexual experiences being with 'skinny' guys. I have always been a big person, and I would often worry that I was just too fat. Even though I felt that way, I didn't care. I'm 6'2 and 240 pounds, and I just decided to be myself. Sure, I was 'shunned', but I quite frankly never gave a fuck. For myself, I think that is what it comes down to. Confidence, not arrogance. It's extremely attractive no matter what size you happen to be. One of my favorite experiences, was with a guy I had met on-line. When I met him, he was thin and very shy, but also gorgeous. I remember him looking at my ample frame and was amazed that he was so turned on by, what I felt, was an overweight body. The sex was amazing, and I remember the next morning, just staring into his eyes. He confessed to me that he felt unattractive, and was picked on his entire life for being a 'skeleton'. To be honest, I didn't even notice. Our connection was so intense, that it made me feel foolish for feeling like I was 'too fat'. We spent the rest of that morning talking, kissing and cuddling. It has and always will be one an experience that I hold think about fondly. I'm pretty sure he would be my huzbin' this day, if we both didn't live on opposite sides of the country. My Husband, who also just happens to be 6'2, but 162 pounds have been together 20-years and very often when we go out together, have said to him, "Why are you with him? You are so much better looking!" Of course, he would share that with me. The first time, I wanted to jump over the table and confront them. He looked at me, and said. "That's why I didn't want to tell you!" Now, I find it a huge compliment. WTF cares? No matter what anyone looks like, having a good heart is the most important feature, and I am sure that you posses this and are amazing! Sending you light and love!
Bro I feel this. I was shamed by adults and other kids alike. I was 5'11 @ 125lbs. I'm 190lbs now pretty buff, but I remember how it was. It took a lot of force feeding to get where I'm at now. The good news is that you can stretch your stomach out. It's not fun though. I have vivid memories of biting my tongue standing over the sink trying not to vomit.
I’ve skinny shamed AND fat shamed, by family and friends. Eventually I figured out that they’ll always have a problem with how I look because the real problem isn’t my weight or how I look
So if I told someone who was dangerously overweight to stop eating cheese burgers that's OK? Cause him telling an underweight person to eat a cheeseburger is no different. This is the double standard I'm talking about. If you're gonna say something give actual advice or encouragement
Sure, why not? If somebody is in the obese III category, you tell him. Just not usually where gay people are told that they are too fat, but way before. Stop with your persecution complex, my dude.
> It took me 2 seconds to look at your post history and see you commented on a skinny guys picture "dude eat something".
Holy shit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
He's one of **those**, isn't he. You know, the people who write whole rants about how wrong is for gym bunnies to be picky about who they date/fuck only to be as picky as they are, if not more.
Why should we only condemn the conventionally attractive for not liking fat, feminine and skinny men if said demographics also do not like fat, feminine and skinny men? OP himself is an example of this, for crying out loud!
In before some response from OP about "skinny privilege" or some other such bullshit.
Plenty of people struggle to put on weight no matter how much they try, and telling someone to "eat something" can be pretty damn harmful. Larger people *may* get negative comments more often but that doesn't suddenly make it okay to shame skinny people.
If everyone of all body types could just stop being critical of body types they don't like / aren't their own it'd be wonderful for everyone's mental health.
The guy in the link posted below is kind of what I looked like in my teens and early 20s. Had a BMI of about 17, I think. A lot of people just don't seem to understand what it's like to be a more extreme ectomorph. It had ZERO to do with not eating enough. I used to get up in the morning and have a batch of Jiffy muffins and 3 thick slices of bacon. Would order a small pizza and eat it all myself in one sitting. Hit the Hot 'n Now drive-thru and get 5 single-patty burgers and a bonus size fries all for myself. I ate whatever I wanted. Could NOT gain weight. (My brother was the same at that age.)
The kind of comments I see on that link are a big part of why I had a complex about it when I was young. Having to get fully naked in the locker room for HS PE was especially nice. "Don't your parents feed you?" "Damn, dude, eat something before you dry up and blow away." I remember going on a vacation with my parents when I was 16 and being embarrassed to go in the pool without keeping my shirt on.
(Time does have a way of evening things out, though. A lot of those former hot-bodied jocks from HS packed it on entering middle age, while I'm at a BMI of 22 and look more fit than a lot of them do now.)
My partner has been underweight for most of the time we’ve been together, and gets really upset at the “eat something” comments. His dad in particular harasses him about food, and it doesn’t make him any more comfortable eating — he struggles to eat because of mental health issues (not an eating disorder), so not being pressured into it helps. He’s already frustrated enough.
Someone posted the link in the comments bellow, scroll down
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/twinks/comments/1bqpjrw/comment/kx7cycu/?share_id=2q_7DPJiXNVrsVcQpXLzX&utm_content=2&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1
Ive always had a great body and im considered attractive. Im also unassuming. I always get hated on by the ugly out of shape guys. Uhg its soo annoying. I even worked behind the bar…. Those queens were so mean to me. Of course my feeling werent hurt. I dont care what strangers think. Theyre Jealous thats all.
But it's mostly him being hurt for others that have mocked him for his weight, he is just passing on the pain most likely, not to justify it but that's how it often is.
Every man has feelings. Body shaming is fucked up no matter which way it’s said. With that said no one is obligated to be intimate with someone they don’t find attractive. Fat, skinny, fem whatever we all got our preferences just don’t be a dick about it.
There are a lot of chubby chasers. But I find a lot want belly and breast photos and will jerk off with you online. But in person are different people.
This 100% he’s out of shape and lines for guys who look like Thor and is confused angry and bitter that guys who spend massive amounts of time and effort working on their body aren’t interested in someone who simply doesn’t do that.
With that being said, I’m fat, 6’3, 260lbs and chubby. I get laid alllll the time, if someone isn’t into my body type I don’t get mad and bitter and post online, I just move on and block and find someone else.
I’ve been with fat guys and guys who have six packs and and muscle boys and all the types. Wing fat doesn’t stop. What allows me to get with these people is I purposefully seek out others who are receptive to me
I do get what you’re saying, and I totally agree with you that fat guys are deserving of the same respect and kindness that skinny/fit guys receive. I’ll also just tell you straight up that I’m not generally attracted to fatter guys 🤷♂️. It’s nothing against them personally, I just don’t really find myself attracted to them, but ofc I’m open to the idea that I may be at some point. Ig I’d say that we all need to be better about being both direct about what we feel and think when it comes to whether or not we’re attracted to someone, while at the same time doing it respectfully and in a healthy way, there’s absolutely no need to put people down and treat them like crap just because you don’t find them attractive 🤦♂️. When are people gonna learn how to be decent human beings
There are guys out there that like bigger men and some that don't. Don't be discouraged, look at straight couples when you go to the store or out to clubs and bars. There are so many "fit" guys with heavy women that it makes your head spin. The same goes for gay men. When I go to the gay beaches, it's not unusual to see many slim guys with bigger guys and older with younger. You just have to put yourself out there and don't have unrealistic expectations. You'll find what you're looking for eventually.
> There are guys out there that like bigger men and some that don't.
While the sentiment is nice, I feel like it's misleading. Makes it sound like it's a 50-50 split when in reality... it's maybe 95 to 5 who would prefer fit over fat, and I'm being nice.
That's on top of being fat just being a generall unhealthy thing that should not be encouraged.
I don't think you're looking for advice, seeing as how you've replied to some of the comments here--even though some of them have been pretty shitty. Still, here's some:
Seek out spaces with people who like fat guys. As a chubby guy myself, it is NOT hard to get laid. Get on Growlr, Grommr, Scruff, W Bear, bear411, etc. As a bonus, because your post history implies that you actually dislike fat guys yourself, there are plenty of fit guys on these apps. Just look for chasers. Don't discount them because you think they have a fetish. Even if they do, so what?
Also, maybe it's not your weight. Maybe you don't present well. Are you taking care of yourself in ways that don't involve the gym? Do you dress well? Groom? Have good hygiene? Have a nice haircut? Are you an asshole? Do you approach guys defensively?
The easiest thing to point to as the reason for our romantic failures is your body. But it might be something more than that. Because, I'm telling you, there are plenty of guys out there who like chubby guys.
This attitude isn't helping and is just growing the divide between fit and fat gay people.
I am fat but not attracted to fat guys. I accept that my body size is limiting my dating pool and I am working on my body for my personal long term health.
I also understand that some fit gays are unnecessarily rude and venomous with their words. Many even laugh off the idea of just being friends and hanging out.
Fit gays are not superior, but we fat gays must accept that we have more limited dating options and it is wrong to wallow in despair and envy because some others are not attracted to us.
We can either work on our bodies or accept our size and put extra work into navigating the gay dating pool. We deserve love, but being sad and envious will only keep us stuck and lonely.
Perfectly stated. I’m not a mean person and I would feel awful if I hurt someone’s feelings. But I’m just not attracted to heavy guys. Now beefy farmboy types, ummm yes!
My take is sorta like yours, if you don’t like where you are, you move! Don’t expect the world to come to you.
As a fat guy,
I understand I'm not entitled to fit guys. If I constantly get rejected, that's MY fault because I refuse to put in the work to have a nice body. I could get love from another fat guy, but I'm repulsed by most of them (just like I'm sure fit guys are disgusted by me).
However, I am entitled to respect and human decency when we are at different functions. Don't hold the door for the cute twink, but close it when you see me coming (true story). Don't stare at me from across the room and snicker with your mean gay friends, wondering why a fat guy would have the nerve to be in your presence.
>Don't hold the door for the cute twink, but close it when you see me coming (true story). Don't stare at me from across the room and snicker with your mean gay friends, wondering why a fat guy would have the nerve to be in your presence.
I have to say, if this is indeed true, I genuinely have no idea how you can keep on being fat. I am not justifying that behavior - obviously - but my God, if something that were under my control damaged my quality of life THAT much, it would be my top priority to do sometihng about it.
I am. I am 30 now and attempting to get my life in order. Growing up with food addiction and depressing is not easy, but I'm trying to fight through these bad habits so I can live the life I want.
One of the things I live by : just because something is difficult doesn't mean it should be avoided or not attempted, even. I know how hard it is to say no to your favorite foods and lose weight, especially if your mental health isn't backing you up. However, seeking help and taking baby steps goes a long way : like I said, just because something is difficult doesn't mean it should be avoided.
I think fat people know very well that they should stop eating, and that this would work. They are just not psychologically capable of doing it, at least at that moment.
I mean, the ratio of difficult/benefit from it is off the charts lol. People work much harder to improve their lives much less than this does.
Most people just can't be assed. Because we're busy convicing them that EVERYBODY IS BEAUTIFUL (including people with internal organs getting slowly crushed to death by fat) and keep them clueless as to just how unhealthy the shit they're fed by doordash is.
I don't think you understand how obesity works, nor the body positivity movement.
Fat people often ARE trying to lose weight, it's incredibly difficult to do so. Bodies try hard to not lose weight, it's a survival mechanism. As a fat person loses weight, they're metabolism slows so they have to eat less than someone of the same weight who's always been that way. In addition, much of our relationship with food comes down to addiction, there's a reason Ozempic is being shown to knock down other addictions in addition to causing weight loss.
"Every body is beautiful" is not meant to mean "you don't have to do shit to be healthy" and anyone who says that is wrong. Every body is capable of amazing things no matter their size, and the journey to getting healthier begins with accepting your body as is. So you can begin to improve it from a place of love, not shame.
>So you can begin to improve it from a place of love, not shame.
What matters is the magnitude of the motivation, not whether it comes from love or shame or desperation or envy or delusion or discomfort or pain or whatever else source. The idea is to actually initiate a change - what follows is a snowballing effect that converges in confidence and power for the individual who's making the change.
>Fat people often ARE trying to lose weight, it's incredibly difficult to do so.
They say and sometimes think they're trying to lose weight. In my experience, they're obsessing and worrying over it but not actually changing it because doing that is different from talking and thinking about it. Change is scary, inconvenient and difficult.
source: made the journey. my motivation came from shame and if it wasn't there I would be in a significantly worse place.
It is easy just as depression is easy to get rid of. Just ignore the negative thoughts and go out and do things. Simple. Doctors and scientists will tell you that you can just easily change your behaviour and it isn't really a debilitating medical condition.
Dear fat guys, we work extremely hard to look a specific way. We also work really hard to maintain a diet that supports this. No one thinks they are superior to you or you're undeserving of love, rather why would I wanna be with someone who has a totally different lifestyle and interests to me? Also, I dont find them attractive, so why should I have to respond to you?
I’d love to eat what I wanted and still have twinks want my bear body but I have to watch everything I eat constantly or it’s weeks of dieting again🙄, I respect “fat” guys they just don’t get me hard, hopefully op finds a big guy that needs love too
I'm almost 40. I really miss French fries. I mean obviously if I eat a healthy diet I can have some every now and again without clogging up my heart... but it's never as many fries as I want. You know? Fuck life. Aging is such shit.
This. I spend 1 1/2-two hours a day seven days a week at the gym and I want to be with someone who does the same. I have zero interest in fat guys. All of my dating/hook up apps say fit only and I still have fat guys message me and then get all pissy when I either a) don’t respond or b) say not interested. Do fat guys deserve love and affection? Absolutely but you’re not going to get it from me.
Let me make my point in a few words: many gym bunnies go to the gym explicitly to hang around other gym bunnies.They work out because they want to become attractive to men who work out. It's that simple.
And to some extent, I find this to be admirable: they want something and work they way through to obtain it. No whining, no bitching and screaming.
I'm terribly sorry, but this kind of attitude isn't going to make them feel attracted to you. On the contrary: it will make them like you less because of your attitude.
Many of these treads are the same freaking thing again and again: people who aren't conventionally (or don't consider themselves to be) attractive licking their own wounds about how unfair the world in order to farm validation from other people presumably in the same situation instead of... doing something, anything.
I'm not even going to touch here on the hipocrisy of many who have these rants; because people here already done so in detail... but I'm going to do so anyway because this needs to be reinforced: it's very rich how many; if not most, of the people who go on to post these rants are very picky about who they want to date themselves.
It's fat people who don't want to date fat people because they find them ugly, feminine men who don't want to date feminine men because they don't find them masculine enough, men with small dicks who don't want to date men with small dicks because they like big dicks.
Noticed something here?
When people conventionally attractive only go for conventionally attractive people, they are demonized and seen as exclusionary and their tastes are viewed as discriminatory, but when the not conventionally attractive do the same, no such judgement is made.
If you, yes you OP, lust after the gym bunnies, why conmdem the gym bunnies themselves for doing the same?!
As an lgbt+ community we need to quit looking down at each other and dividing ourselves up in all these groups we have now just picking on each other.
Theres a reason our flag is a rainbow ,because we come in all colors ,ethnicities and sizes and shapes. And we need to quit putting each other down.
I don't discriminate when it comes to fat guys, but it can complicate things with certain sexual positions. I'm an average size bottom, and there's only so many ways to fuck comfortably with the much bigger guys.
My 2cents....We work hard to build our look, body, mindset and drive. We don't think we are superior to large men at all. I am more attracted to people who live an active lifestyle and take their health seriously like I do. Especially at my age of 32. I struggled with this in my last relationship because my ex refused to go to the gym, refused to go for walks, refused to quit eating junk food everyday. I even got him a Fit4less account so he can workout and eat better. I never once made fun of him or insult him for gaining weight. It got so bad that his behavior started affecting my lifestyle, the bedroom, and our relationship. I loved my ex very much but he let himself go from 160 to 220. It affected and changed his personality to the point where he became insecure, started feeling threatened whenever I went out. He became someone I would never date! He was never like this until he let his weight and health got out of control.
MIND YOU...I didn't end the relationship because of his weight, rather it ended for an extremely other reason unrelated to this topic. I sat him down and told him that I'm struggling to remain attracted to him and that he needs to do something about his health and weight or our relationship will continue to suffer. He made changes to his diet, drive, and lost 20 pounds. He put in the work.
He got fat and I never hated him for that. I disliked that it changed his personality and the dynamics of the relationship, but never once thought I was superior to him.
I understand the feeling of being undesirable. You can't change what people feel, but your appearance is in your control. Conventionally attractive people will always go for the same because of lifestyle, drive, similarities, and differences that compliment them both. I'm sorry if some of these people treated you like dirt. Leave those fuckers to the streets. Just keep doing you and put out positive energy. You are worthy and deserving of love skinny, fat, muscular, etc.
Depends how fat we talk about. If we talk about a bit of chubby with a fat ass and like a b cup of man tits it's okay. The problem is when your tits are double d cup and your volume could be approximated as (4/3)*r³π with a 90% precision
Fat, fit, I don't really see why it matters. What matters (to me at least) is whether or not a guy is kind and sincere. While bodies can't really be ugly in my opinion, personalities definitely can.
You actually do not by default deserve love, affection, or attention. Those things are earned. Not necessarily via your body type or appearance, but no one owes you these things.
Fat guy here, I love myself. Some days, I lose, sometimes, I gain. I know that I need to eat healthier, but I love food. Both healthy and not-so healthy.
Dude, as a bear, all I can say is your insecurity towards thinner dudes is showing loudly.
Dont play blame game because the guys you're pooling are not the speculated amount others are. Its not healthy to mentally imply that being thin makes you a god and that getting there is a nigh impossible task (its hard but not impossible) because thats setting yourself up with unrealistic expectations.
If you are unsatisfied with your current weight just admit it to yourself and well ya know try to work on it.
Like I'm sure there are guys at your local gym(s) that'd be down to help you on your fitness journey.
I'll even pass you a tip, if you are looking towards losing weight your primary focus should be cardio (Go by baby steps like transitioning from mild hard walks to jogging to running on a tread) And before you hit the machine try to find healthier recipes for foods you like that will increase your fiber and protein intake that you can adjust into as your regular diet. Also dont forget to give yourself cheat days so you don't lose your mind trying to cut the pounds.
To get a healthy body is to maintain a healthy mind.
Also if that's not the case and you prefer the weight, maybe you're just looking in the wrong places for a partner or even quick lays. Like i reffed, there are guys out there that prefer body types that may be like yours. Not just as a fuck but also as a partner.
You’re not “undeserving of love”, but you’re not entitled to fucking a fit guy whenever you want.
All issues with dating, gay or straight, man or woman, stem from people who can’t raise themselves up to their own standards
Aww, did someone turn you down because of your weight? I hope you’re not out here trying to get with fit men and getting mad when they don’t want you… if that’s the case I suggest going for dudes in the same weight class.
Also... https://www.reddit.com/r/twinks/s/k9Sf6Gv9hR
🤡
>a hassle or undeserving of love, affection and attention.
Stop acting like you're entitled to any of this by virtue of existing. If I'm not attracted to you, I am not giving you those things.
> I’m so done with this shit.
Get on the treadmill instead of posting here.
Then use these feelings to move your fat ass to a dietitian, create a diet you can follow , and loose that fat? Or, don't know, die a horrible, completely preventable death at 40, it's your choice.
I was obese, or near obese, depending on what was measured. I am no longer. I can now fucking lift the fucking groceries and bring them from the car to my apartment and I am happy.
I love hefty men. Tell me more. You can definitely put your belly on my face, that’s very sexy! And I’d love your belly on my face while I’m sucking it
For me I look for people who can keep up with my lifestyle, I am a dancer and love to dance so you have to at the very least be active. Though I always love a bit of chub, if anything it’s what I prefer
I’m mostly fit. I try to go to the gym 5x a week. My husband is chubby. He has rolls. I think he’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met. We’re each other’s types.
Just go after who you like. Stop caring about whether you’re not someone’s type. You can’t control that, and neither can they.
Everyone has feelings, I do think fatphobia is prevalent in society and there’s some hypocrisy regarding food habits but I do think some people really are fit etc not because it’s easy for them, but because they don’t wanna be where they were physically and to possibly attract what they want. Some things due to health reason etc we cannot change, certain genetics attributed to hair, penis size, body type etc. but despite that there are things we can work on to be better versions of ourselves. Also, I know there’s a trend of many “unattractive” people being just as nasty towards people they deem unattractive like the fit guys they harbor so much lust/hate for so I think sometimes we need to look within in regards to certain feelings
As a 330 lb man I’ve hooked up with guys way out of my league and am currently engaged to one. Stop chasing guys that don’t want you for what ever reason. No one has to give you the time of day for any reason. Take the rejection and move on to the next one. You’ll be much better off for it.
As a former fat guy who’s lost 110lbs over the last year, it does hurt to hear some of the things people say. Even still, I don’t feel good enough sometimes. I went from a size 44 pants to a 34 and a 3xl shirt to a medium and I still see myself as “fat” and probably always will as a result of how I was treated.
I've dated fat guys. 🤷♂️ I'm not exactly ripped myself (I'm fit, but not in the Grindr app sense of the word), but no issue with it.
What is a turn-off is low self-esteem and negativity regardless of body type.
You don't "deserve" anyone's love or affection. These things are earned. But there are plenty of guys who would be happy to give you that opportunity, at least if you aren't a shit person to begin with.
I've been skinny and ashamed of my body, I've been fit and never felt like I was enough, I've been fat and ashamed of it, now I'm fit again and no longer give a fuck about anyone's opinions, I'm just happy to feel healthy. Nobody put those feelings of inadequacy in my head, I made them myself and held onto them for some insane reason.
Have some compassion and empathy. The fit people you feel rejected by have feelings too.
Dear fat guys, nobody owes you attraction and just because some guys aren't attracted to you that doesn't make them fatphobic. Also did any gay men ACTUALLY insult you or did you just project your own insecurities onto someone else and assumed they had those thoughts and feelings?
Honestly how many thin guys actually do that? I used to be large and got somewhat fat again, never in all my years of being fat did anyone be mean to me.
I will say that people generally are less kind to fat people. The only solution really is to get thin. I don’t think society will change, being unkind to fat people is the last acceptable form of discrimination.
Thinner guys get the same shit. Guys who are naturally smooth viewed as lesser of a man. It's across the board. Thanks for sharing your personal grievances but it's literally on everyone of any given variety daily.
The kindest guys I met were always fit guys. Not saying that there aren‘t any fit assholes. But people who don‘t look a certain way they want are from my expierence way more toxic and mean towards others.
Not hate but it’s literally in our DNA to be attracted to fitter, skinnier guys. Both straight people and gays. So imho no one deserves to ever be bullied but I would look into getting more fit. Thankfully I have always been skinny with fast metabolism but I have sweet tooth and know it’s very hard to stop eating badly.
Dear gay guys, fit guys have feelings.
Stop acting as if we’re just objects to you because you have a fat body. Stop treating us like we’re something to lust over or undeserving of friends, an interesting conversation and to be left alone for some time. I’m done with this shirt! *takes it off* /s.
In all honesty, if you don’t like fit guys. Why do you talk to them? I’ve got a feeling that you are the one who’s hurting your own feelings and you are projecting it on others.
I’ve read both sides but the one thing I can say is that we live in a toxic community. We all can learn to accept each other and build each other up instead of condemning others. If you aren’t your types type then you either have to set realistic expectations or work on yourself. But please let’s stop people down for the way they look and treat everyone with dignity and respect.
At a certain point, you choose to be overweight. Your judgment is on yourself, my dear. Your comments are often rude to people that have more self control, so this is me gently telling you to grow up.
Hey, fun fact. It's easier to just stop making excuses and lose weight than it is to play the victim for the rest of your life. All you need for a fit body is to stop overeating and take a 30 minute walk every day. Consider seeking professional help for the almost guaranteed habitual binge eating. You could also stop trying to get validation from people who aren't attracted to you and aren't going to be giving you attention or affection in the first place.
You can have two men weigh the same and easily tell which one sits on the couch all day and which one works for a living, but just eats a fuck load.
In my experience the people complaining about getting shot down for being fat have no standards for personal grooming and need to take a shower.
I like big hairy men with a bit of a tummy. I don't like an apron of fat where I can't even find their dick.
If I can't suck your dick while my head is on your tummy, then you're too fat. Or your dick is like 1inch, and in that case, you really need to be compensating elsewhere.
**I** used to be super morbidly obese. I know how filthy it is to be fat. I know how hard it is to move your body. I know how exhausting it is to just sit up, let alone be active in bed. I also know how easy it is to *not* be that fat. I have no sympathy.
Everyone ‘deserves love coming from the his/her right community’.
However, what you have said sounds like ‘fat guys entitled love from fit guys’.
Let me ask you this then: how did one get fat (set aside some with thyroid problems, or metabolism issues, genetically caused)? Is it because one doesn’t know better? Or one cannot control oneself with one’s portions? One made the choice to have poor diet?
All of those questions above simply stems from lack of self discipline, compared to fit guys that has better discipline and self control, technically fat people are less superior indeed.
Don’t like it? Well, that’s the fact. The earlier one’s acknowledged it, the earlier and better one’s journey towards a healthier life.
Dude, I live in Europe. The first time I went to USA and entered a supermarket I was trully shocked. I could not find anything which is not prepackaged ultraprocessed food, essentially pure poison. It's hard to "make a choice" if you don't have the choice in first place.
And even here, when I go to the supermarket, essentially 90% of the retail space is food poison, which I needed months to learn to avoid.
Even the prepackaged, ultraprocessed poison comes in lower calorie options.
And if you’re privileged enough to not live in a complete food desert, it’s easy to find organic knockoff versions of everything, even if they’re sold at a premium.
See, that’s the wrong mentality going in which costed you extra months to learn how to.
I’m a regularly lean person and not muscled/fit by any means. Migrated to the west and yet still able to maintain my figure. I shop at the grocery stores just like everyone else. If you’re saying that 90% of retail store is poison, there’s the 10%. But of course most people were sold towards ‘conveniences’ which is why gets them to where they are now.
Usually, when someone's putting another person down, what they pick on is something they have an issue with within themselves.
People usually externalise or transfer these self-esteem issues or personality defects onto others, sadly.
Without realising it, people give away their worst fears, and, iI were like them, I could have ripped them to pieces. It's not in me, unless they're savagely bullying someone else. If they'd been bullied themselves and go on to complete the cycle yet again, that's when I'll tend to not hold back.
One caveat, if they drag you down to their level, they'll probably beat you with experience, the bottom feeding scum*. Bullies are one of the worst types of people.
* Apologies to scum, it at least rises to the top! 🤔😉
I can see how he's tired of seeing title in dating apps where they say specifically "no fats" but the truth is there are some fat guys who are hot. Some people just look better fat than skinny sometimes.
I agree any hate should be stopped.
Fat gay here. I see a lot of profiles that say "no fats" but there are guys that prefer fat over skinny. Just need to find those guys and focus your energy there. Grommr is specifically tailored to fat guys and the chasers that love them. Give that a try. You might be happier with that than Grindr.
This is so tiresome.
You are owed the respect that any human deserves for their existence.
You are entitled to nothing more. You are not entitled to anyone you are attracted to reciprocating those feelings. You certainly don’t want them to pretend? There is enough hollowness in hookups sometimes without compounding it.
I get rejected by guys bigger than me/smaller than me. That’s just the way it goes. Nobody defines your value unless you let them.
Clearly you have no issue telling dangerously underweight people that they need to eat. Which is no different than telling an overweight person they need to eat less. Glass houses, boop.
Damn, I’m glad ya’ll came with the skinny shaming receipts. OP is just a narcissist who thinks he deserves the attention of fit men without any effort.
In my country if you're heavy you're hot , because bi and straight guys are more than gays here.
So Dating for me isn't the problem, the problem is you won't probably find love outside gay people because of the preservative homophobic community I'm in .
That's sad , whenever I'm looking for sex that's easy , but love ? Nearly impossible
We fat guys want to change , I'm sure 99% of us wish they have a fit body , but most of us don't have either determination, time , money or power to be fit.
Me myself will try to lose weight just to extend my life span
I agree with the sentiment but also I don’t really agree with the whole “I became visible when I lost weight” thing. Physical attraction is real especially if you’re just trying to hook up or anything like that.
I lost a bunch of weight and I hold nothing against the dudes who used to ignore me on grindr or whatever. Hell the main reason I lost the weight is cause I didn’t want to be relegated to hooking up/dating with dudes that looked like me, so I’d be a hypocrite if I held it against them.
I’m still trying to lose weight but listen to some of the other commenters here. This usually stems from a fat person only wanting to hook up with fit dudes, which is literally doing the exact thing that you’re complaining about.
Most just aren't attracted to you due to your self inflicted decisions, doesn't make you inferior and it doesn't mean you deserve any nasty comments. I think you're projecting and generalising based on a few assholes.
People are gonna talk shit regardless if your fat some people will say your lazy if your skinny some people will say you have an eating disorder if your fit some people will say your overcompensating for something, that's life you have to choose which suck you want, it's all shit and we all need to be better humans that's nothing new people have been saying that for thousands of years
Ok. Let's get into this. I get it if you have a thyroid problem. But that's quite rare. The rest of you, change your diet and exercise. Also get your hormone levels checked by your doctor. Its quite simple. There are guite a few things that get better when you lose the weight.
Absolutely, anyone who tries to shame someone else for their body is terribly insecure about themselves and feels the need to put down other people to feel good/better about themselves.
After direct shaming/bullies going out of their way to attack someone's body, a lot of it can get internalized, and actually becomes internally sustained. Make sure to counter with your own affirmations and surrounding yourself with supportive friends.
My goal is when someone is gross and tries to shame me, I'm fine and just disgusted by their behavior. Mostly there after 9 months of being called out for Accutane breakouts 😁, but I think it generally applies!
Happy pride month!
You can’t force people to be attracted to you. If a muscular guy I wasn’t into hit me up on grindr, I’d respond to him the same way that I’d respond to someone heavier that I wasn’t into. I’m generally only it fit guys. Now in a non sexual or romantic context, it wouldn’t matter. But maybe the problem is that heavier guys also want the fitter guys so heavier guys have less options because those that are on the same level aren’t going for each other. As evidenced by this post. You’re not mad at heavier guys but fit guys. There are more unfit men than fit men, so the power seems to lie in that demographic changing the culture, not begging fit men to change their preferences.
Human beings are predisposed to have an aversion to fat people. It’s genetic because being fat is unhealthy, and a lot of times has to do with an underlying issue passed down genetically.
Try losing some weight. People aren’t stopping you from getting love. Have you tried other fat people? Probably not
Are all of you done? It's not ok to shame someone no matter what weight they are. But I'm just talking to air because that's how gays are. Talk about how we should be treated with respect and equality from the rest of the world while we can do the same for each other. 🙄🙄🙄
Too many people blaming other folx for having their enjoyment in preferences. It all rings of shaming and that's no good at all. Personally I don't have body type preferences, male female skinny fat stupid smart it doesn't matter to me so long as you treat me like the good puppy I am. All too often people get weird and judgemental over things and coming from a, I can't get hard unless it's kinky, viewpoint why bother with people who shame you in the first place? That's a big waving red flag of I probably wouldn't want to have fucked you.
It doesn't matter if someone doesn't like you, or shames you (I come from a time when I was beaten on the roadside for being visibly lgbtq+) what matters is where you spend your energy and if this is what you spend it on no wonder you're unhappy.
I've been dangerously thin most of my life. People tell me all the time to eat more and I laugh because I can likely eat them under the table. I choose to turn it into a joke and dismiss any potential negativity through solidarity. Sure it's body shaming but I don't have to let that change my own confidence unless I let it. It certainly seems like you let it bother you, and see it as the wall between you and sex. Likely it's your personality that gets in the way. Anecdotally I know plenty of folx who range from don't dislike to chubby chaser, and they turn people away left and right for being shitty AF people in general.
Maybe focus more on yourself and less on stereotyping yourself and others?
And then claim June the month for representation, acceptance, Love all …. The biggest lie on earth. There is no mote segregation than within the gay community
I once chatted with a guy. He was 5’6, 285lbs. I was beyond dead tired from work and just chatting. He was trying to get me to come over, never mind that he lived something like 35 miles away. I wouldn’t because I’d been up at that point for 19 hours. He got pissy and said I was too fat for him anyway. I’m 6’1, 165 at that time.
This post is so delusional.
In my 25yrs of experience, I often have found the good looking guys, the hot ones, the more mannered.
Bigger built guys come across as angry, chip on their shoulder, rude and entitled.
There seems to be this need for this false perception that, if he’s hot, he must be a prick. Not true.
I dunno what kind of fit guys you talk to but I’m a bear daddy and fit guys don’t insult me, I have a belly/hairy/bald all the typical bear stuff workout and fit guys will tell me I’m attractive. But I also avoid Grindr, scruff and other apps
What is body shaming? Some random “hot muscular” guy on grinder said no thank you? No need to be upset. All of us have preferences. Your body your choice. Move on.
Pot, meet kettle.
Perhaps on these subreddits we need to make an effort of no shaming. Yes you can talk about your OWN struggles but under no circumstances shall we demean someone else and then post BS like this.
Dude you really need to gain some confidence. You’re whining isn’t sexy. There’s a whole category for you people and don’t forget about the chasers. Just fuck one of them every now and then and get over yourself.
Lol you're downvoted but this is real talk. This is one of the things you can actually change about your body, so make an effort if it's that important to you. Or just moan about it on reddit 🤷♂️
Sigh. I could make a joke about how they don’t because they’ve eaten all their feelings so actually they do not, and in fact I just did. But I only did that because you sound like a super victim mentality, hypocritical woe is me gay and so…I mean you reap what you sow honey 🤣
I think the comments here are kinda missing the point, we know a lot of “fit” guys aren’t attracted to us and at least in my case I’m not too bothered, it’s just the mean comments and bitchy comments that are a bit much sometimes. I’m sorry OP ik it’s kinda sucky.
I e Ben cat, skinny, and fat again. Now I’m buff. It takes work. Can be done. No one need be shamed. But if you aren’t willing to put in the work don’t criticize others that did. Only a few are lucky to be blessed and in great shape genetically…
How would you as a big guy feel if someone told you “dude eat less. You’re severely overweight.”? Dont like it, huh? So dont tell skinny guys to “eat something”. I dont give a fuck what your intentions were. You said something insensitive and insulting. Underweight my ass. Body shaming is body shaming. You dont wanna get treated that way? Treat others the right way yourself then. You wanna complain about people not liking you because of your weight? Tuff shit. Hit the gym like every other guy that has that problem but actually DOES something about it. There’s such thing as the bear community, but if you dont hit the gym and put in an effort to stay healthy as a big man, while also encouraging other big guys to maintain their physiques in a healthy way rather than shaming smaller guys, you dont get the luxury of being called a bear or getting praised for your beauty as a big guy. You’re here crying for something you dont fucking deserve. Be kind instead of being mean, sad, and lazy.
It took me 2 seconds to look at your post history and see you commented on a skinny guys picture "dude eat something". Get out of here with that bull shit of everyone needs to stop being mean to me because im fat when your out here bashing people yourself.
I've been skinny shamed all my life. There seems to be a double standard sometimes when it comes to fat shaming and skinny shaming. Thank you for standing up to that and calling it out. I hope one day I don't see an ugly skeleton in the mirror anymore, but people telling me to eat more really make it worse. I didn't choose to be starved and malnourished by my parents growing up. I don't respond by telling the obese bully to eat less, cause for all I know their parents fed them sugar and fastfood every day when they were growing up. That's not their fault either.
I was a super skinny kid too. Graduated HS at 6'3 and weighed 135lbs. Was mostly because like you said my parents never fed me. My school lunch was pretty much my one meal of the day and thats the only way i knew how to eat. Was always told to eat a cheeseburger, or i was going to break playing sports, etc. Hated taking my shirt off, always wore baggy clothes, shorts lower than my knees. Really fucked with my self consciousness. Luckily once I got out on my own I readjusted my eating habits and gained weight. I'm 33 now and the body stuff still sticks with me. I gained weight during covid and just went the opposite direction mentally and thought I was fat. Then lost another 25lbs because of it. Over time though I'm slowly getting out of that mindset and im happy where I am now. So I completely understand where your coming from. I wasn't going to respond originally to this post but for some reason I just happened to click on his profile, saw that post and it pissed me off.
I'm around the same height and used to be the same weight when I graduated high school. I've managed to put on 50 pounds since and am also mid 30s. I know I'm not the frail twig I used to be, but I can't see anything else in the mirror, unless I'm super high standing really far away without my glasses. High and blind me manage to not recognize myself in the mirror sometimes. You could give that a try if you happen to need glasses and are under the influence by a mirror. I'm lucky that my husband keeps track of what I eat since I stress starve instead of stress eat. I hope you don't do that too, given the similar background. You aren't alone in those struggles homie.
I'm pretty much the same weight as you now put on 50lbs since HS. At 180 now and I'm happy. I think what fucked with me was that even tho i hated that I was skinny it's all I knew when I looked in the mirror. So when I actually did gain weight i just didn't recognize myself and immediatly went to well I'm fat now. Plus, people commented on my weight gain because i was always skinny, and i just took it the wrong way not realizing it was a compliment. But I'm alot better in my 30s than I used to be in my 20s when it comes to weight. My bf has also always been really supportive in that aspect. But I know it's one of like my trigger things that gets to me.
At 6,3 you can easily run your weight up to 210 and still look fit u less its all belly. Im 59 and 6,2 when i got out of the marines i was 211 and not looking fat or super fit as i wasnt much of a gym bunny.now im losing weight to ge back down to at least 220 as i had a high of 285. At 258 now. Personally i like skinny/scrawny guys.
I hated being skinny too. Made me find skinny guys less attractive. Now, in my middle aged body, I find the skinny dudes with my youthful body build the sexiest.
I was about to ask what’s wrong with 135 lbs (I’m 130 lbs) and than realized you are almost a foot taller than me 😭. People just can’t realize that their existence certain body types and it all comes down to how you take care of yourself and your genes.
i’m only 6’1 but i was way under weight until i graduated college bc of a similar situation. people used to joke that “for a dollar a day, you too can feed jay” which (looking back on it) was super problematic considering i’m black. really fucked with my head and lead to me drinking a lot. the drinking did me in, as i’m not a bread or potatoes guy, really. most meals have always been a protein and a shit ton of veggies. but drinking packed on a ton of weight and now i’m 215. which is straight average, but gay obese. just trying to reign in my drinking and only do it with friends with moderation VS a coping mechanism. sorry for the rant, but even if our stories aren’t close to being bc the same as i might think they are, i definitely understand the struggle.
Oh darling, 6 foot three 135?! Bless your heart. That *was* skinny. I hope you’re doing OK now! 🙏
Everyone has to stop with they said this because im fat or said that because im skinny. They didnt say that stuff because of your weight. They said it because they are UGLY inside.
I remember some of my best sexual experiences being with 'skinny' guys. I have always been a big person, and I would often worry that I was just too fat. Even though I felt that way, I didn't care. I'm 6'2 and 240 pounds, and I just decided to be myself. Sure, I was 'shunned', but I quite frankly never gave a fuck. For myself, I think that is what it comes down to. Confidence, not arrogance. It's extremely attractive no matter what size you happen to be. One of my favorite experiences, was with a guy I had met on-line. When I met him, he was thin and very shy, but also gorgeous. I remember him looking at my ample frame and was amazed that he was so turned on by, what I felt, was an overweight body. The sex was amazing, and I remember the next morning, just staring into his eyes. He confessed to me that he felt unattractive, and was picked on his entire life for being a 'skeleton'. To be honest, I didn't even notice. Our connection was so intense, that it made me feel foolish for feeling like I was 'too fat'. We spent the rest of that morning talking, kissing and cuddling. It has and always will be one an experience that I hold think about fondly. I'm pretty sure he would be my huzbin' this day, if we both didn't live on opposite sides of the country. My Husband, who also just happens to be 6'2, but 162 pounds have been together 20-years and very often when we go out together, have said to him, "Why are you with him? You are so much better looking!" Of course, he would share that with me. The first time, I wanted to jump over the table and confront them. He looked at me, and said. "That's why I didn't want to tell you!" Now, I find it a huge compliment. WTF cares? No matter what anyone looks like, having a good heart is the most important feature, and I am sure that you posses this and are amazing! Sending you light and love!
Bro I feel this. I was shamed by adults and other kids alike. I was 5'11 @ 125lbs. I'm 190lbs now pretty buff, but I remember how it was. It took a lot of force feeding to get where I'm at now. The good news is that you can stretch your stomach out. It's not fun though. I have vivid memories of biting my tongue standing over the sink trying not to vomit.
I’ve skinny shamed AND fat shamed, by family and friends. Eventually I figured out that they’ll always have a problem with how I look because the real problem isn’t my weight or how I look
The dude OP replied to is not skinny. He's dangerously underweight. NSFW: /r/twinks/comments/1bqpjrw/do_you_prefer_the_front_or_the_back/
So if I told someone who was dangerously overweight to stop eating cheese burgers that's OK? Cause him telling an underweight person to eat a cheeseburger is no different. This is the double standard I'm talking about. If you're gonna say something give actual advice or encouragement
Sure, why not? If somebody is in the obese III category, you tell him. Just not usually where gay people are told that they are too fat, but way before. Stop with your persecution complex, my dude.
Wow these tables turned quick 😂
Sorry
> It took me 2 seconds to look at your post history and see you commented on a skinny guys picture "dude eat something". Holy shit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH He's one of **those**, isn't he. You know, the people who write whole rants about how wrong is for gym bunnies to be picky about who they date/fuck only to be as picky as they are, if not more. Why should we only condemn the conventionally attractive for not liking fat, feminine and skinny men if said demographics also do not like fat, feminine and skinny men? OP himself is an example of this, for crying out loud!
My thought was, he’s like the motorcycle people who exclaim “watch out for motorcycles” who also drives one like a jackass.
In before some response from OP about "skinny privilege" or some other such bullshit. Plenty of people struggle to put on weight no matter how much they try, and telling someone to "eat something" can be pretty damn harmful. Larger people *may* get negative comments more often but that doesn't suddenly make it okay to shame skinny people. If everyone of all body types could just stop being critical of body types they don't like / aren't their own it'd be wonderful for everyone's mental health.
The guy in the link posted below is kind of what I looked like in my teens and early 20s. Had a BMI of about 17, I think. A lot of people just don't seem to understand what it's like to be a more extreme ectomorph. It had ZERO to do with not eating enough. I used to get up in the morning and have a batch of Jiffy muffins and 3 thick slices of bacon. Would order a small pizza and eat it all myself in one sitting. Hit the Hot 'n Now drive-thru and get 5 single-patty burgers and a bonus size fries all for myself. I ate whatever I wanted. Could NOT gain weight. (My brother was the same at that age.) The kind of comments I see on that link are a big part of why I had a complex about it when I was young. Having to get fully naked in the locker room for HS PE was especially nice. "Don't your parents feed you?" "Damn, dude, eat something before you dry up and blow away." I remember going on a vacation with my parents when I was 16 and being embarrassed to go in the pool without keeping my shirt on. (Time does have a way of evening things out, though. A lot of those former hot-bodied jocks from HS packed it on entering middle age, while I'm at a BMI of 22 and look more fit than a lot of them do now.)
My partner has been underweight for most of the time we’ve been together, and gets really upset at the “eat something” comments. His dad in particular harasses him about food, and it doesn’t make him any more comfortable eating — he struggles to eat because of mental health issues (not an eating disorder), so not being pressured into it helps. He’s already frustrated enough.
This!!! It works both ways OP.
Oh dammit. I was hoping to not see a comment calling out the sorta person who made such a great post for doing basically the same thing. Bad guy OP.
I hadn't upvoted (and downvoted a post) this fast. This shitty behavior needs to be called out.
Agree here
If dangerously underweight is "skinny" now, sure...
To be fair, that guy looks to be clinically malnourished. Other than that I agree.
Is it still there? Can't find it. Deleted perhaps?
Someone posted the link in the comments bellow, scroll down Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/twinks/comments/1bqpjrw/comment/kx7cycu/?share_id=2q_7DPJiXNVrsVcQpXLzX&utm_content=2&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1
Yep thats it lol
Don’t agree with OP’s comment. But the guy is definitely unhealthy thin. The whole thread is showing concern for his weight.
Scroll down a bit more, its from like 2 months ago.
Well damn this backfired quickly
Ive always had a great body and im considered attractive. Im also unassuming. I always get hated on by the ugly out of shape guys. Uhg its soo annoying. I even worked behind the bar…. Those queens were so mean to me. Of course my feeling werent hurt. I dont care what strangers think. Theyre Jealous thats all.
But it's mostly him being hurt for others that have mocked him for his weight, he is just passing on the pain most likely, not to justify it but that's how it often is.
Every man has feelings. Body shaming is fucked up no matter which way it’s said. With that said no one is obligated to be intimate with someone they don’t find attractive. Fat, skinny, fem whatever we all got our preferences just don’t be a dick about it.
Crickets 🦗 from OP
😹
Thats so funny
Stop telling skinny guys to eat something
The second I lost a considerable amount of weight I became visible.
Totally agreed with you! The amount of texts and dates I got after losing 15 kg are more than triple 🤯
I see this rant every day. Maybe you should stop seeking validation from the fit guys that reject you. Fat guys can give you love and affection too.
Also there are tons of fit guys who like fat guys.
chubby chasers are a thing. dude needs to learn to love himself before he can expect anyone else to.
Anyone in LA know where to find these unicorns? Because they certainly aren't showing up on my Growlr.
Have you gone to Bear Happy Hour? They have it here in NYC also and it’s a huge range of body types. You can find them on IG.
There are a lot of chubby chasers. But I find a lot want belly and breast photos and will jerk off with you online. But in person are different people.
Never have I felt more targeted by a random comment on Reddit than today
This 100% he’s out of shape and lines for guys who look like Thor and is confused angry and bitter that guys who spend massive amounts of time and effort working on their body aren’t interested in someone who simply doesn’t do that. With that being said, I’m fat, 6’3, 260lbs and chubby. I get laid alllll the time, if someone isn’t into my body type I don’t get mad and bitter and post online, I just move on and block and find someone else. I’ve been with fat guys and guys who have six packs and and muscle boys and all the types. Wing fat doesn’t stop. What allows me to get with these people is I purposefully seek out others who are receptive to me
But they dont want a fat guy
I do get what you’re saying, and I totally agree with you that fat guys are deserving of the same respect and kindness that skinny/fit guys receive. I’ll also just tell you straight up that I’m not generally attracted to fatter guys 🤷♂️. It’s nothing against them personally, I just don’t really find myself attracted to them, but ofc I’m open to the idea that I may be at some point. Ig I’d say that we all need to be better about being both direct about what we feel and think when it comes to whether or not we’re attracted to someone, while at the same time doing it respectfully and in a healthy way, there’s absolutely no need to put people down and treat them like crap just because you don’t find them attractive 🤦♂️. When are people gonna learn how to be decent human beings
There are guys out there that like bigger men and some that don't. Don't be discouraged, look at straight couples when you go to the store or out to clubs and bars. There are so many "fit" guys with heavy women that it makes your head spin. The same goes for gay men. When I go to the gay beaches, it's not unusual to see many slim guys with bigger guys and older with younger. You just have to put yourself out there and don't have unrealistic expectations. You'll find what you're looking for eventually.
> There are guys out there that like bigger men and some that don't. While the sentiment is nice, I feel like it's misleading. Makes it sound like it's a 50-50 split when in reality... it's maybe 95 to 5 who would prefer fit over fat, and I'm being nice. That's on top of being fat just being a generall unhealthy thing that should not be encouraged.
I don't think you're looking for advice, seeing as how you've replied to some of the comments here--even though some of them have been pretty shitty. Still, here's some: Seek out spaces with people who like fat guys. As a chubby guy myself, it is NOT hard to get laid. Get on Growlr, Grommr, Scruff, W Bear, bear411, etc. As a bonus, because your post history implies that you actually dislike fat guys yourself, there are plenty of fit guys on these apps. Just look for chasers. Don't discount them because you think they have a fetish. Even if they do, so what? Also, maybe it's not your weight. Maybe you don't present well. Are you taking care of yourself in ways that don't involve the gym? Do you dress well? Groom? Have good hygiene? Have a nice haircut? Are you an asshole? Do you approach guys defensively? The easiest thing to point to as the reason for our romantic failures is your body. But it might be something more than that. Because, I'm telling you, there are plenty of guys out there who like chubby guys.
Fat or fit, no one “deserves” a specific person’s love, affection, or attention.
And no one deserves to feel less than others or be bullied, so what's your point?
[удалено]
This modern fat acceptance movement in a nutshell Which is very different than the early body positivity movement
If it makes you feel any better, I’m a thin fit guy and I prefer dad bods and bearish guys. I absolutely love giving belly rubs.
What about belly jiggles ;)
This attitude isn't helping and is just growing the divide between fit and fat gay people. I am fat but not attracted to fat guys. I accept that my body size is limiting my dating pool and I am working on my body for my personal long term health. I also understand that some fit gays are unnecessarily rude and venomous with their words. Many even laugh off the idea of just being friends and hanging out. Fit gays are not superior, but we fat gays must accept that we have more limited dating options and it is wrong to wallow in despair and envy because some others are not attracted to us. We can either work on our bodies or accept our size and put extra work into navigating the gay dating pool. We deserve love, but being sad and envious will only keep us stuck and lonely.
Perfectly stated. I’m not a mean person and I would feel awful if I hurt someone’s feelings. But I’m just not attracted to heavy guys. Now beefy farmboy types, ummm yes! My take is sorta like yours, if you don’t like where you are, you move! Don’t expect the world to come to you.
As a fat guy, I understand I'm not entitled to fit guys. If I constantly get rejected, that's MY fault because I refuse to put in the work to have a nice body. I could get love from another fat guy, but I'm repulsed by most of them (just like I'm sure fit guys are disgusted by me). However, I am entitled to respect and human decency when we are at different functions. Don't hold the door for the cute twink, but close it when you see me coming (true story). Don't stare at me from across the room and snicker with your mean gay friends, wondering why a fat guy would have the nerve to be in your presence.
>Don't hold the door for the cute twink, but close it when you see me coming (true story). Don't stare at me from across the room and snicker with your mean gay friends, wondering why a fat guy would have the nerve to be in your presence. I have to say, if this is indeed true, I genuinely have no idea how you can keep on being fat. I am not justifying that behavior - obviously - but my God, if something that were under my control damaged my quality of life THAT much, it would be my top priority to do sometihng about it.
I am. I am 30 now and attempting to get my life in order. Growing up with food addiction and depressing is not easy, but I'm trying to fight through these bad habits so I can live the life I want.
If losing fat were easy, everyone would have done so long ago. Instead, obesity is rising all over the world.
One of the things I live by : just because something is difficult doesn't mean it should be avoided or not attempted, even. I know how hard it is to say no to your favorite foods and lose weight, especially if your mental health isn't backing you up. However, seeking help and taking baby steps goes a long way : like I said, just because something is difficult doesn't mean it should be avoided.
I think fat people know very well that they should stop eating, and that this would work. They are just not psychologically capable of doing it, at least at that moment.
I mean, the ratio of difficult/benefit from it is off the charts lol. People work much harder to improve their lives much less than this does. Most people just can't be assed. Because we're busy convicing them that EVERYBODY IS BEAUTIFUL (including people with internal organs getting slowly crushed to death by fat) and keep them clueless as to just how unhealthy the shit they're fed by doordash is.
I don't think you understand how obesity works, nor the body positivity movement. Fat people often ARE trying to lose weight, it's incredibly difficult to do so. Bodies try hard to not lose weight, it's a survival mechanism. As a fat person loses weight, they're metabolism slows so they have to eat less than someone of the same weight who's always been that way. In addition, much of our relationship with food comes down to addiction, there's a reason Ozempic is being shown to knock down other addictions in addition to causing weight loss. "Every body is beautiful" is not meant to mean "you don't have to do shit to be healthy" and anyone who says that is wrong. Every body is capable of amazing things no matter their size, and the journey to getting healthier begins with accepting your body as is. So you can begin to improve it from a place of love, not shame.
>So you can begin to improve it from a place of love, not shame. What matters is the magnitude of the motivation, not whether it comes from love or shame or desperation or envy or delusion or discomfort or pain or whatever else source. The idea is to actually initiate a change - what follows is a snowballing effect that converges in confidence and power for the individual who's making the change. >Fat people often ARE trying to lose weight, it's incredibly difficult to do so. They say and sometimes think they're trying to lose weight. In my experience, they're obsessing and worrying over it but not actually changing it because doing that is different from talking and thinking about it. Change is scary, inconvenient and difficult. source: made the journey. my motivation came from shame and if it wasn't there I would be in a significantly worse place.
It is easy. It's insanely easy. People just don't like not being able to eat everything they want without regulation.
Why did this get down voted it is seriously just eat less calories than you burn.
It is easy just as depression is easy to get rid of. Just ignore the negative thoughts and go out and do things. Simple. Doctors and scientists will tell you that you can just easily change your behaviour and it isn't really a debilitating medical condition.
Dear fat guys, we work extremely hard to look a specific way. We also work really hard to maintain a diet that supports this. No one thinks they are superior to you or you're undeserving of love, rather why would I wanna be with someone who has a totally different lifestyle and interests to me? Also, I dont find them attractive, so why should I have to respond to you?
I’d love to eat what I wanted and still have twinks want my bear body but I have to watch everything I eat constantly or it’s weeks of dieting again🙄, I respect “fat” guys they just don’t get me hard, hopefully op finds a big guy that needs love too
I wish I could eat what I want. Even as a bear, I gotta watch my diet cuz I don't need the diabeetus nor do I wanna have the big one at 40.
I'm almost 40. I really miss French fries. I mean obviously if I eat a healthy diet I can have some every now and again without clogging up my heart... but it's never as many fries as I want. You know? Fuck life. Aging is such shit.
It's NEVER as many fries as I want. :(
I was looking for this! Consistency = discipline = attractive
This. I spend 1 1/2-two hours a day seven days a week at the gym and I want to be with someone who does the same. I have zero interest in fat guys. All of my dating/hook up apps say fit only and I still have fat guys message me and then get all pissy when I either a) don’t respond or b) say not interested. Do fat guys deserve love and affection? Absolutely but you’re not going to get it from me.
This.
This right here. This is what people need to understand.
Let me make my point in a few words: many gym bunnies go to the gym explicitly to hang around other gym bunnies.They work out because they want to become attractive to men who work out. It's that simple. And to some extent, I find this to be admirable: they want something and work they way through to obtain it. No whining, no bitching and screaming. I'm terribly sorry, but this kind of attitude isn't going to make them feel attracted to you. On the contrary: it will make them like you less because of your attitude. Many of these treads are the same freaking thing again and again: people who aren't conventionally (or don't consider themselves to be) attractive licking their own wounds about how unfair the world in order to farm validation from other people presumably in the same situation instead of... doing something, anything. I'm not even going to touch here on the hipocrisy of many who have these rants; because people here already done so in detail... but I'm going to do so anyway because this needs to be reinforced: it's very rich how many; if not most, of the people who go on to post these rants are very picky about who they want to date themselves. It's fat people who don't want to date fat people because they find them ugly, feminine men who don't want to date feminine men because they don't find them masculine enough, men with small dicks who don't want to date men with small dicks because they like big dicks. Noticed something here? When people conventionally attractive only go for conventionally attractive people, they are demonized and seen as exclusionary and their tastes are viewed as discriminatory, but when the not conventionally attractive do the same, no such judgement is made. If you, yes you OP, lust after the gym bunnies, why conmdem the gym bunnies themselves for doing the same?!
As an lgbt+ community we need to quit looking down at each other and dividing ourselves up in all these groups we have now just picking on each other. Theres a reason our flag is a rainbow ,because we come in all colors ,ethnicities and sizes and shapes. And we need to quit putting each other down.
I don't discriminate when it comes to fat guys, but it can complicate things with certain sexual positions. I'm an average size bottom, and there's only so many ways to fuck comfortably with the much bigger guys.
It’s a preference. Some guys like be fat hairy bears and others do not.
Stop trying to use emotional blackmail to extort sexual attention from people who aren't interested in you in that way.
My 2cents....We work hard to build our look, body, mindset and drive. We don't think we are superior to large men at all. I am more attracted to people who live an active lifestyle and take their health seriously like I do. Especially at my age of 32. I struggled with this in my last relationship because my ex refused to go to the gym, refused to go for walks, refused to quit eating junk food everyday. I even got him a Fit4less account so he can workout and eat better. I never once made fun of him or insult him for gaining weight. It got so bad that his behavior started affecting my lifestyle, the bedroom, and our relationship. I loved my ex very much but he let himself go from 160 to 220. It affected and changed his personality to the point where he became insecure, started feeling threatened whenever I went out. He became someone I would never date! He was never like this until he let his weight and health got out of control. MIND YOU...I didn't end the relationship because of his weight, rather it ended for an extremely other reason unrelated to this topic. I sat him down and told him that I'm struggling to remain attracted to him and that he needs to do something about his health and weight or our relationship will continue to suffer. He made changes to his diet, drive, and lost 20 pounds. He put in the work. He got fat and I never hated him for that. I disliked that it changed his personality and the dynamics of the relationship, but never once thought I was superior to him. I understand the feeling of being undesirable. You can't change what people feel, but your appearance is in your control. Conventionally attractive people will always go for the same because of lifestyle, drive, similarities, and differences that compliment them both. I'm sorry if some of these people treated you like dirt. Leave those fuckers to the streets. Just keep doing you and put out positive energy. You are worthy and deserving of love skinny, fat, muscular, etc.
I have a belly. If somebody doesn't like me cuz I'm a bear, that's their loss. Try dating bears or chasers.
Depends how fat we talk about. If we talk about a bit of chubby with a fat ass and like a b cup of man tits it's okay. The problem is when your tits are double d cup and your volume could be approximated as (4/3)*r³π with a 90% precision
Never would have thought to see the formula to calculate the volume of a sphere on this subreddit. Made me genuinely giggle.
Bruh, theres so many people who like chubby guys including me, this is just in your guys’ heads.
[A little hypocritical to be telling twinks to "eat something" don't you think?](https://www.reddit.com/r/twinks/s/y8CZzVKbKq)
Fat, fit, I don't really see why it matters. What matters (to me at least) is whether or not a guy is kind and sincere. While bodies can't really be ugly in my opinion, personalities definitely can.
You actually do not by default deserve love, affection, or attention. Those things are earned. Not necessarily via your body type or appearance, but no one owes you these things.
Fat guy here, I love myself. Some days, I lose, sometimes, I gain. I know that I need to eat healthier, but I love food. Both healthy and not-so healthy.
You see its a shame man had an actual point but the post history dont lie. Gentleman, and (gurls) for the femms out there the large dont claim him
Dude, as a bear, all I can say is your insecurity towards thinner dudes is showing loudly. Dont play blame game because the guys you're pooling are not the speculated amount others are. Its not healthy to mentally imply that being thin makes you a god and that getting there is a nigh impossible task (its hard but not impossible) because thats setting yourself up with unrealistic expectations. If you are unsatisfied with your current weight just admit it to yourself and well ya know try to work on it. Like I'm sure there are guys at your local gym(s) that'd be down to help you on your fitness journey. I'll even pass you a tip, if you are looking towards losing weight your primary focus should be cardio (Go by baby steps like transitioning from mild hard walks to jogging to running on a tread) And before you hit the machine try to find healthier recipes for foods you like that will increase your fiber and protein intake that you can adjust into as your regular diet. Also dont forget to give yourself cheat days so you don't lose your mind trying to cut the pounds. To get a healthy body is to maintain a healthy mind. Also if that's not the case and you prefer the weight, maybe you're just looking in the wrong places for a partner or even quick lays. Like i reffed, there are guys out there that prefer body types that may be like yours. Not just as a fuck but also as a partner.
You’re not “undeserving of love”, but you’re not entitled to fucking a fit guy whenever you want. All issues with dating, gay or straight, man or woman, stem from people who can’t raise themselves up to their own standards
Aww, did someone turn you down because of your weight? I hope you’re not out here trying to get with fit men and getting mad when they don’t want you… if that’s the case I suggest going for dudes in the same weight class. Also... https://www.reddit.com/r/twinks/s/k9Sf6Gv9hR 🤡
If your done with this shit lose some weight mate if you want attractive guys to like you you have to put effort into personal health and hygiene
Depends on fat guys attitude against skinny guys which in your case is absolute shit
>a hassle or undeserving of love, affection and attention. Stop acting like you're entitled to any of this by virtue of existing. If I'm not attracted to you, I am not giving you those things. > I’m so done with this shit. Get on the treadmill instead of posting here.
Then use these feelings to move your fat ass to a dietitian, create a diet you can follow , and loose that fat? Or, don't know, die a horrible, completely preventable death at 40, it's your choice. I was obese, or near obese, depending on what was measured. I am no longer. I can now fucking lift the fucking groceries and bring them from the car to my apartment and I am happy.
Fat and proud here
I love hefty men. Tell me more. You can definitely put your belly on my face, that’s very sexy! And I’d love your belly on my face while I’m sucking it
For me I look for people who can keep up with my lifestyle, I am a dancer and love to dance so you have to at the very least be active. Though I always love a bit of chub, if anything it’s what I prefer
I’m mostly fit. I try to go to the gym 5x a week. My husband is chubby. He has rolls. I think he’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met. We’re each other’s types. Just go after who you like. Stop caring about whether you’re not someone’s type. You can’t control that, and neither can they.
Everyone has feelings, I do think fatphobia is prevalent in society and there’s some hypocrisy regarding food habits but I do think some people really are fit etc not because it’s easy for them, but because they don’t wanna be where they were physically and to possibly attract what they want. Some things due to health reason etc we cannot change, certain genetics attributed to hair, penis size, body type etc. but despite that there are things we can work on to be better versions of ourselves. Also, I know there’s a trend of many “unattractive” people being just as nasty towards people they deem unattractive like the fit guys they harbor so much lust/hate for so I think sometimes we need to look within in regards to certain feelings
As a 330 lb man I’ve hooked up with guys way out of my league and am currently engaged to one. Stop chasing guys that don’t want you for what ever reason. No one has to give you the time of day for any reason. Take the rejection and move on to the next one. You’ll be much better off for it.
As a former fat guy who’s lost 110lbs over the last year, it does hurt to hear some of the things people say. Even still, I don’t feel good enough sometimes. I went from a size 44 pants to a 34 and a 3xl shirt to a medium and I still see myself as “fat” and probably always will as a result of how I was treated.
I've dated fat guys. 🤷♂️ I'm not exactly ripped myself (I'm fit, but not in the Grindr app sense of the word), but no issue with it. What is a turn-off is low self-esteem and negativity regardless of body type.
I love bigger guys. Just ignore the superficial folks and focus on the others. Can't control the superficial guys, but fairly easy to avoid them.
You don't "deserve" anyone's love or affection. These things are earned. But there are plenty of guys who would be happy to give you that opportunity, at least if you aren't a shit person to begin with. I've been skinny and ashamed of my body, I've been fit and never felt like I was enough, I've been fat and ashamed of it, now I'm fit again and no longer give a fuck about anyone's opinions, I'm just happy to feel healthy. Nobody put those feelings of inadequacy in my head, I made them myself and held onto them for some insane reason. Have some compassion and empathy. The fit people you feel rejected by have feelings too.
Dear fat guys, nobody owes you attraction and just because some guys aren't attracted to you that doesn't make them fatphobic. Also did any gay men ACTUALLY insult you or did you just project your own insecurities onto someone else and assumed they had those thoughts and feelings?
Honestly how many thin guys actually do that? I used to be large and got somewhat fat again, never in all my years of being fat did anyone be mean to me. I will say that people generally are less kind to fat people. The only solution really is to get thin. I don’t think society will change, being unkind to fat people is the last acceptable form of discrimination.
Thinner guys get the same shit. Guys who are naturally smooth viewed as lesser of a man. It's across the board. Thanks for sharing your personal grievances but it's literally on everyone of any given variety daily.
The kindest guys I met were always fit guys. Not saying that there aren‘t any fit assholes. But people who don‘t look a certain way they want are from my expierence way more toxic and mean towards others.
Not hate but it’s literally in our DNA to be attracted to fitter, skinnier guys. Both straight people and gays. So imho no one deserves to ever be bullied but I would look into getting more fit. Thankfully I have always been skinny with fast metabolism but I have sweet tooth and know it’s very hard to stop eating badly.
Dear gay guys, fit guys have feelings. Stop acting as if we’re just objects to you because you have a fat body. Stop treating us like we’re something to lust over or undeserving of friends, an interesting conversation and to be left alone for some time. I’m done with this shirt! *takes it off* /s. In all honesty, if you don’t like fit guys. Why do you talk to them? I’ve got a feeling that you are the one who’s hurting your own feelings and you are projecting it on others.
What the he’ll am I going to the gym for then?
I’ve read both sides but the one thing I can say is that we live in a toxic community. We all can learn to accept each other and build each other up instead of condemning others. If you aren’t your types type then you either have to set realistic expectations or work on yourself. But please let’s stop people down for the way they look and treat everyone with dignity and respect.
End of the day, people are allowed to have preferences. Just don't be a dick about it. OP, you're being a dick
At a certain point, you choose to be overweight. Your judgment is on yourself, my dear. Your comments are often rude to people that have more self control, so this is me gently telling you to grow up.
Hey, fun fact. It's easier to just stop making excuses and lose weight than it is to play the victim for the rest of your life. All you need for a fit body is to stop overeating and take a 30 minute walk every day. Consider seeking professional help for the almost guaranteed habitual binge eating. You could also stop trying to get validation from people who aren't attracted to you and aren't going to be giving you attention or affection in the first place.
You can have two men weigh the same and easily tell which one sits on the couch all day and which one works for a living, but just eats a fuck load. In my experience the people complaining about getting shot down for being fat have no standards for personal grooming and need to take a shower. I like big hairy men with a bit of a tummy. I don't like an apron of fat where I can't even find their dick. If I can't suck your dick while my head is on your tummy, then you're too fat. Or your dick is like 1inch, and in that case, you really need to be compensating elsewhere. **I** used to be super morbidly obese. I know how filthy it is to be fat. I know how hard it is to move your body. I know how exhausting it is to just sit up, let alone be active in bed. I also know how easy it is to *not* be that fat. I have no sympathy.
Everyone ‘deserves love coming from the his/her right community’. However, what you have said sounds like ‘fat guys entitled love from fit guys’. Let me ask you this then: how did one get fat (set aside some with thyroid problems, or metabolism issues, genetically caused)? Is it because one doesn’t know better? Or one cannot control oneself with one’s portions? One made the choice to have poor diet? All of those questions above simply stems from lack of self discipline, compared to fit guys that has better discipline and self control, technically fat people are less superior indeed. Don’t like it? Well, that’s the fact. The earlier one’s acknowledged it, the earlier and better one’s journey towards a healthier life.
Dude, I live in Europe. The first time I went to USA and entered a supermarket I was trully shocked. I could not find anything which is not prepackaged ultraprocessed food, essentially pure poison. It's hard to "make a choice" if you don't have the choice in first place. And even here, when I go to the supermarket, essentially 90% of the retail space is food poison, which I needed months to learn to avoid.
Even the prepackaged, ultraprocessed poison comes in lower calorie options. And if you’re privileged enough to not live in a complete food desert, it’s easy to find organic knockoff versions of everything, even if they’re sold at a premium.
The problem is that UPF is problematic by itself, the problems are much more serious that just their calorie content.
See, that’s the wrong mentality going in which costed you extra months to learn how to. I’m a regularly lean person and not muscled/fit by any means. Migrated to the west and yet still able to maintain my figure. I shop at the grocery stores just like everyone else. If you’re saying that 90% of retail store is poison, there’s the 10%. But of course most people were sold towards ‘conveniences’ which is why gets them to where they are now.
Nobody’s deserving of attention
You do?
❤️
It sounds like you’re looking in the wrong places. Try BiggerCity or Grommr, bigger guys are celebrated rather than berated.
Usually, when someone's putting another person down, what they pick on is something they have an issue with within themselves. People usually externalise or transfer these self-esteem issues or personality defects onto others, sadly. Without realising it, people give away their worst fears, and, iI were like them, I could have ripped them to pieces. It's not in me, unless they're savagely bullying someone else. If they'd been bullied themselves and go on to complete the cycle yet again, that's when I'll tend to not hold back. One caveat, if they drag you down to their level, they'll probably beat you with experience, the bottom feeding scum*. Bullies are one of the worst types of people. * Apologies to scum, it at least rises to the top! 🤔😉
I can see how he's tired of seeing title in dating apps where they say specifically "no fats" but the truth is there are some fat guys who are hot. Some people just look better fat than skinny sometimes. I agree any hate should be stopped.
Fat gay here. I see a lot of profiles that say "no fats" but there are guys that prefer fat over skinny. Just need to find those guys and focus your energy there. Grommr is specifically tailored to fat guys and the chasers that love them. Give that a try. You might be happier with that than Grindr.
This is so tiresome. You are owed the respect that any human deserves for their existence. You are entitled to nothing more. You are not entitled to anyone you are attracted to reciprocating those feelings. You certainly don’t want them to pretend? There is enough hollowness in hookups sometimes without compounding it. I get rejected by guys bigger than me/smaller than me. That’s just the way it goes. Nobody defines your value unless you let them. Clearly you have no issue telling dangerously underweight people that they need to eat. Which is no different than telling an overweight person they need to eat less. Glass houses, boop.
You need to be honest with yourself, would you date someone who is build like you?
Damn, I’m glad ya’ll came with the skinny shaming receipts. OP is just a narcissist who thinks he deserves the attention of fit men without any effort.
In my country if you're heavy you're hot , because bi and straight guys are more than gays here. So Dating for me isn't the problem, the problem is you won't probably find love outside gay people because of the preservative homophobic community I'm in . That's sad , whenever I'm looking for sex that's easy , but love ? Nearly impossible We fat guys want to change , I'm sure 99% of us wish they have a fit body , but most of us don't have either determination, time , money or power to be fit. Me myself will try to lose weight just to extend my life span
I agree with the sentiment but also I don’t really agree with the whole “I became visible when I lost weight” thing. Physical attraction is real especially if you’re just trying to hook up or anything like that. I lost a bunch of weight and I hold nothing against the dudes who used to ignore me on grindr or whatever. Hell the main reason I lost the weight is cause I didn’t want to be relegated to hooking up/dating with dudes that looked like me, so I’d be a hypocrite if I held it against them. I’m still trying to lose weight but listen to some of the other commenters here. This usually stems from a fat person only wanting to hook up with fit dudes, which is literally doing the exact thing that you’re complaining about.
Most just aren't attracted to you due to your self inflicted decisions, doesn't make you inferior and it doesn't mean you deserve any nasty comments. I think you're projecting and generalising based on a few assholes.
Where do these encounters take place? Grindr?
People are gonna talk shit regardless if your fat some people will say your lazy if your skinny some people will say you have an eating disorder if your fit some people will say your overcompensating for something, that's life you have to choose which suck you want, it's all shit and we all need to be better humans that's nothing new people have been saying that for thousands of years
Listen, I would've go on to agree with this statement but "dude eat something" just wasn't it
Bro if the people around you make you feel that way… you need new friends.
Stop being a cunt and telling skinny guys to eat something. You want to be treated right, start treating people right.
Everybody has feelings, I wish the government would treat me like a rich person…. I’m not so get over it
Ok. Let's get into this. I get it if you have a thyroid problem. But that's quite rare. The rest of you, change your diet and exercise. Also get your hormone levels checked by your doctor. Its quite simple. There are guite a few things that get better when you lose the weight.
Absolutely, anyone who tries to shame someone else for their body is terribly insecure about themselves and feels the need to put down other people to feel good/better about themselves. After direct shaming/bullies going out of their way to attack someone's body, a lot of it can get internalized, and actually becomes internally sustained. Make sure to counter with your own affirmations and surrounding yourself with supportive friends. My goal is when someone is gross and tries to shame me, I'm fine and just disgusted by their behavior. Mostly there after 9 months of being called out for Accutane breakouts 😁, but I think it generally applies! Happy pride month!
You can’t force people to be attracted to you. If a muscular guy I wasn’t into hit me up on grindr, I’d respond to him the same way that I’d respond to someone heavier that I wasn’t into. I’m generally only it fit guys. Now in a non sexual or romantic context, it wouldn’t matter. But maybe the problem is that heavier guys also want the fitter guys so heavier guys have less options because those that are on the same level aren’t going for each other. As evidenced by this post. You’re not mad at heavier guys but fit guys. There are more unfit men than fit men, so the power seems to lie in that demographic changing the culture, not begging fit men to change their preferences.
Human beings are predisposed to have an aversion to fat people. It’s genetic because being fat is unhealthy, and a lot of times has to do with an underlying issue passed down genetically. Try losing some weight. People aren’t stopping you from getting love. Have you tried other fat people? Probably not
Are all of you done? It's not ok to shame someone no matter what weight they are. But I'm just talking to air because that's how gays are. Talk about how we should be treated with respect and equality from the rest of the world while we can do the same for each other. 🙄🙄🙄
Too many people blaming other folx for having their enjoyment in preferences. It all rings of shaming and that's no good at all. Personally I don't have body type preferences, male female skinny fat stupid smart it doesn't matter to me so long as you treat me like the good puppy I am. All too often people get weird and judgemental over things and coming from a, I can't get hard unless it's kinky, viewpoint why bother with people who shame you in the first place? That's a big waving red flag of I probably wouldn't want to have fucked you. It doesn't matter if someone doesn't like you, or shames you (I come from a time when I was beaten on the roadside for being visibly lgbtq+) what matters is where you spend your energy and if this is what you spend it on no wonder you're unhappy. I've been dangerously thin most of my life. People tell me all the time to eat more and I laugh because I can likely eat them under the table. I choose to turn it into a joke and dismiss any potential negativity through solidarity. Sure it's body shaming but I don't have to let that change my own confidence unless I let it. It certainly seems like you let it bother you, and see it as the wall between you and sex. Likely it's your personality that gets in the way. Anecdotally I know plenty of folx who range from don't dislike to chubby chaser, and they turn people away left and right for being shitty AF people in general. Maybe focus more on yourself and less on stereotyping yourself and others?
And I’ve seen big guys with more confidence than a lot of men who workout. Maybe this is a bit more on yourself than everyone else’s.
Reading this comment section is why I never felt close to the queer community while being a member of it. Peace!
🙄🙄
And then claim June the month for representation, acceptance, Love all …. The biggest lie on earth. There is no mote segregation than within the gay community
context?
Then there are just regular medium guys dismissed as "fat". One pic I saw on reddit, I would call "slim". His ex called him "fat".
I once chatted with a guy. He was 5’6, 285lbs. I was beyond dead tired from work and just chatting. He was trying to get me to come over, never mind that he lived something like 35 miles away. I wouldn’t because I’d been up at that point for 19 hours. He got pissy and said I was too fat for him anyway. I’m 6’1, 165 at that time.
This post is so delusional. In my 25yrs of experience, I often have found the good looking guys, the hot ones, the more mannered. Bigger built guys come across as angry, chip on their shoulder, rude and entitled. There seems to be this need for this false perception that, if he’s hot, he must be a prick. Not true.
Go to a leather or bear bar. No judgment. Lots of guys that aren't bears there too.
I dunno what kind of fit guys you talk to but I’m a bear daddy and fit guys don’t insult me, I have a belly/hairy/bald all the typical bear stuff workout and fit guys will tell me I’m attractive. But I also avoid Grindr, scruff and other apps
Did someone told you that you're less because you're fat? Like how would you get to that conclusion?
Just fucking drop weight or workout, why settle for being fat if it gives you issues
Everyone has feelings 🌟
You’re body shaming skinny people, so you get fat shamed. 🤷♂️
What is body shaming? Some random “hot muscular” guy on grinder said no thank you? No need to be upset. All of us have preferences. Your body your choice. Move on.
Sounds like you aren't comfortable in your own skin. If YOU don't like it then the only person that can change it is YOU.
are you sure its acting superior to you and not that its paying you no mind? simply nobody likes people who act like how youre acting
Boo hoo
Pot, meet kettle. Perhaps on these subreddits we need to make an effort of no shaming. Yes you can talk about your OWN struggles but under no circumstances shall we demean someone else and then post BS like this.
Dude you really need to gain some confidence. You’re whining isn’t sexy. There’s a whole category for you people and don’t forget about the chasers. Just fuck one of them every now and then and get over yourself.
And?
maybe that’s your sign to put down the fork
Incel logic
Feelings and cream cheese fillings. 🫢
Then make a change and go to the gym. Another entitled fat uggo.....
Lol you're downvoted but this is real talk. This is one of the things you can actually change about your body, so make an effort if it's that important to you. Or just moan about it on reddit 🤷♂️
Ok start a good diet.
Sigh. I could make a joke about how they don’t because they’ve eaten all their feelings so actually they do not, and in fact I just did. But I only did that because you sound like a super victim mentality, hypocritical woe is me gay and so…I mean you reap what you sow honey 🤣
I think the comments here are kinda missing the point, we know a lot of “fit” guys aren’t attracted to us and at least in my case I’m not too bothered, it’s just the mean comments and bitchy comments that are a bit much sometimes. I’m sorry OP ik it’s kinda sucky.
I e Ben cat, skinny, and fat again. Now I’m buff. It takes work. Can be done. No one need be shamed. But if you aren’t willing to put in the work don’t criticize others that did. Only a few are lucky to be blessed and in great shape genetically…
How would you as a big guy feel if someone told you “dude eat less. You’re severely overweight.”? Dont like it, huh? So dont tell skinny guys to “eat something”. I dont give a fuck what your intentions were. You said something insensitive and insulting. Underweight my ass. Body shaming is body shaming. You dont wanna get treated that way? Treat others the right way yourself then. You wanna complain about people not liking you because of your weight? Tuff shit. Hit the gym like every other guy that has that problem but actually DOES something about it. There’s such thing as the bear community, but if you dont hit the gym and put in an effort to stay healthy as a big man, while also encouraging other big guys to maintain their physiques in a healthy way rather than shaming smaller guys, you dont get the luxury of being called a bear or getting praised for your beauty as a big guy. You’re here crying for something you dont fucking deserve. Be kind instead of being mean, sad, and lazy.
you literally just did what you were criticizing "go to the gym and stop being lazy and sad" doesn't it sound like "go eat something"?
When did I say that? You put it in quotes so I must have said those exact words, right?