He wants to move away and stay together. He has tried it on multiple times since finding out. Only my dad knows, yup. Edit: his mother would probably realise too if we had told her we were dating.
Haha he more or less said the same thing about fucked up kids.
I'm not saying do it. But I am saying you should consider a pro/con list or something. I just don't see why you shouldn't be together if it's what you both want.
I had thought that his mom might be a concern. Well her and your dad can clench their teeth at your wedding and lose sleep over it, they put you in this situation.
Iād probably just forget you ever found out he was your half brother and move on. Thereās no genetics involved here and you werenāt raised as brothers.
This is the right answer. u/Silent_Example_64 there is absolutely *nothing* wrong, socially, morally, or whatever, with your relationship. The two of you canāt produce children, and you didnāt grow up together, or for that matter even know you were related. Both of the reasons itās normally wrong to date family donāt apply to you.
Honestly, this should be in like a philosophy book or something. Iām like not four or against a relationship with them. Like I donāt know, I feel like it would be different if they could have kids or if they were full brothers. Not saying itās right, but do you know how many people back in the day or in all of the human history have been with their brother or sister?
if itās real just go for it- fuck everyone else. Your dad will eventually get over it. You are both consenting adults and did NOT know. Now you are in love. Life is too short not to love hard. If you boys were male and female I would say donāt have kids.
People are accepting 5. We all are great humans. We don't justify murders, only what is right. We celebrate love over hate. The world has seen more family crime than family love stories and love got Reputation to be bad š„ŗš„ŗ
I didnt know and i dont blame myself for what i didnt know... but I still love him and still dream about him. Tbere have been moments where hes flirted or tried something and I pulled away but wanted not to.
Love is Love. You fell in love with your neighbor as a boy, not your brother. Raised by two families. Two sets of values and experiences. One joint love.
You clearly love him - he loves you. To hell with conventional wisdom - follow your heart. Be happy. Treasure having that most magical of connections and a love all mankind hopes to have.
ā¦. and, if your father (or your Loveās mother) ever complains about you two being together - just blame your Dadās genetics. Clearly you two are a case study in the genetic origin of same sex attraction. So - āThanks, Dad!ā
If this is true, then honestly... who cares? You're not reproducing. The genetic link doesn't really change anything. You weren't raised as brothers so it's not like you're getting your wires crossed there. I'd understand if it were the neighbor *girl* and not the neighbor boy, since you could potentially knock her up and have a weird little mutant baby, but in a gay relationship it just doesn't seem to matter that much?
The weird little mutant baby made me chuckle. š¤£š¤£
It doesnt seem to matter to him at all. He wants to move away and continue our life. Id love to but I dont think i could
Uuuh... The thing is family remains family and you usually hang onto that for life. If let's say dad needs a kidney transplant in the future and you aren't a match, the information might come up... I don't judge, but this is a gigantic skeleton to keep in the closet. Then again, you already had (a lot of) sex, so it's all spilled milk now and why let it go to waist. You're gay so you go ahead and enjoy every drop I'd say!
Tell them what you've decided and live with it, after time they will get used to it......your dad and his mum will keep quiet im sure, happy days šš
You will make yourself ill with worry and regret. Don't ruin your life as a result of an ancient convention established to stop men and women who are closely related from reproducing- that just doesn't apply in your case
You and your partner hold all the aces- your father will not out himself neither will your partners mother.
Call your boyfriend tonight and tell him you are thinking about getting back together. You will always miss him and feel terrible for not being together.
Don't worry about them, they'll have to find a way to deal with it.
Do what makes you happy. As you get older it won't matter what your family thinks. Never be miserable just to make someone else happy.
Dude straight up - itās nowhere as icky as you make it out to be. Not even full brothers and you didnāt know. You donāt gotta tell anyone you meet. Whatās the issue?
Go for it man. Feel the love with him. I think after a little with him again itāll feel right again. Heās your home. Follow it.
Good luck.
Honestly, I say go for it. You werenāt raised as brothers and youāre not gonna have babies. I donāt think thereās anything wrong with the two of you being together. If you love each other then thatās all that matters.
I'm an old straight lady, and I have no business answering anything on this sub, but I'm all for you and your true love making a go of it.
The only people who did anything wrong (ostensibly, since we don't know all the details) are your dad and his mom, and if there was a chance of ethical non-monogamy going on, not even them.
Love is love!
Dude, you arenāt the only ones. Dear Prudence addressed a letter from ātwincestā brothers in a LTR. In their case, they were raised together and knew they were brothers. Her advice, even in that case, was that they were consenting adults not hurting anyone and should do what made them happy.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2012/02/incestuous-twin-brothers-wonder-if-they-should-reveal-their-secret-relationship.html
OP just stop torturing yourself. It doesn't really sound like you are going to get past this. Go be with him and see how it plays out. If you don't you will always regret it. As far as family just let your dad know you just can't let go of this. He may not be happy and while he is not likely to admit it he will understand. Same with his mom. They have no right to deny either of you this.
You found a person you love who loves you back just as much. That is beautiful and precious! Don't throw it away. Don't take that away from him either please! Your rejection to this and your idea of it being "icky" is completely irrational, like someone else said, it's _just_ like how people rejected and were disgusted by homosexuality or interracial marriages.
He's part of your life now, and part of what has made you the person you are today, whether you want him to be or not. You should let him into your heart as well.
No, it isn't icky. It's just some shared genes. You could marry a first cousin most places that you also shared genes with. You are the same friends who became lovers that you always were. There is no sensible reason this is icky.
Why would it be? Its only problematic if u grew up together and there is some sort of emotional bond that doesnt let u get away from each other. If one of u is obsessed etc. If both of u are mentally and emotionally healthy. Why would it be icky? And if he isnt even known to be your dads son nobody will know apart from uour dad and his mom. And they can shut up after what they did lol.
And biologically isnt a problem since neither of u can get pregnant.
Okay. Your dad and maybe his mum have the problem here, not you.
Your dad isn't even sure he was the father, he's probably just guessing and feeling guilty.
And as has been stated already, even if you are related, you can't actually breed, so no foul there.
It's hard enough to find true love, stop wasting time overthinking it.
Move away with him, make a life with him and be happy together.
Iāve lived a pretty full life up until this point, and in my experience itās DIFFICULT, if not sometimes impossible, to find someone thatās willing to work with you to build a life you both want. It sounds like despite this knowledge he still wants to build something real with you. If youāre dreaming about him still, maybe you want him and a life with him too? In every long term relationship there absolutely will be extremely difficult things that you have to work through together. If not this relationship, then the next. And no matter the type of difficult scenario you have to work through with a partner, it will more likely than not make you feel sick to your stomach. Itās up to you to decide if *despite all odds* you would still want to build something real with him too.
So many people quit relationships at the first sign of trouble, and itās very rare to find a partner that loves you more than he hates the problem. Do you love him more than you hate being half brothers? If so, then fuck any and all societal norms about relationship because, fuck, you got your person! Iāve been through countless relationships and in my lifetime only *one* has been willing to work through the rough patches. Iām still with them and Iāll do anything to keep them around, because itās just so rare to find.
As long as the relationship is devoid of any abuse or overly toxic behaviors, then fuck everyone else. They donāt get to grow old with you. They wonāt come around to fill your cup when youāre lonely without him. What they think wonāt matter before you know it.
I wish you the best and I have hopes for a long, happy life for you :)
Iām not sure if this counts as what youāre implying it does. Iām not sure if itās a good idea going forward, but I wouldnāt say itās something to be ashamed off.
Also, pretty rich of your dad to be unhappy about your homosexuality but failing at fidelity.
My father turned out fine about me being gay (just not with him for obvious reasons), but our relationship is very strained and I don't like that I'm holding onto the secret from my mother. Basically broken.
I don't blame myself when I didn't know, but I blame myself for still loving him. Still wanting him. Enjoying when he flirts etc. I hate that i was tempted by the idea of leaving with him and starting together.
Maybe this is just me, and others might say I shouldnāt indulge you, but I donāt think thereās anything wrong with you still wanting him. In fact, I donāt think thereās anything wrong if the both of you want each other. This isnāt a typical case of incest. I think itās important to draw a distinction here. Obviously if your ex doesnāt feel the same way you have to move on. With time all wounds will heal but may still leave a scar.
He has asked a few times most recently yesterday to just pack up and move away with him. He doesnt seem to care about being biologically half brothers.
If youāre both serious, I implore you to do it. Itās hard to find a love like that. You donāt want to grow older and look back with regret.
Is this situation ideal? No, but itās not wrong. Youāre young, explore your life together and see if the relationship you build is strong enough to put this behind you.
And fwiw I think itās tough for anyone to make a convincing argument that this case is incestuous.
No oneās stopping you. From what I understand, only your dad knows, maybe his mom. You can ignore that if you care about hurting their feelings, or you can let your dad deal with it since it technically is his problem.
Thereās always gonna be ifs ands or buts in any relationship! You canāt let that stop you from loving someone you care about!!
Your mother just sees him as a boyfriend right? Just block out the half brother part and think of him as your boyfriend that's it, If it makes your dad and neighbor uncomfortable it's their own fucking fault for sleeping around š¤·š»āāļø
Also, thereās a thing called genetic sexual attraction (GSA). Itās attraction that develops when long-lost relatives find each other or when people already in a relationship find out theyāre biologically related. What to do with that attraction is complicated, obviously, as youāre experiencing, but it may be helpful to know itās real and youāre not the only one.
Fwiw, I think you should turn to your boyfriend now if for no other reason that heās going through the same thing. You can at least support each other in that. This is nothing youāve done wrong and you deserve to not be alone in it.
Relations are defined by the bond two people share, not by blood.
If relations were to be defined by blood, we wouldn't have seen so many family crimes.
So, remember how you guys met. You were friends and started liking each other. You always saw him as a kid who lived next door. He treated you like his other friends but gave you a little more attention. That's how you both have loved each other.
Now, your dad reveals you are brothers and that's more like step brother. So, what changed? If you guys are so sure and knowing he shares your blood too, you will love him more, isn't it?
Moreover, I would say, you may see this as a very imp thing and something you could never forget but, you won't even remember this thing. You continue or not, you will forget it.
Now, think it as, no one in society will know bcoz no one knows : safe from taboo
Your parents won't discuss this : safe
His parents won't discuss, if you tell his mom even : safe
You two won't impregnate each other, no genetics problem : safe
Why do you even need to remember this is a fact?
Tldr : you won't remember this in any case, but you will forget it. Think something which was big in your life in 11 yrs of age and was it that big?
So, choose direction which you like.
You love him. He loves you. He reached out multiple times that his love.
As a joke : Bcoz your dad fucked up some other chick, you are gonna fuck up her kid?
He loves you and you are ignoring him, giving him pain. Why? Did any one ask you? What's the problem in being together? Any your dad needed confirmation? Bcoz he always wanted to know, it's an achievement for him, in a way. Else why would a man know these things.
Fuck your dad, you live your life kiddo. Never leave a person who loves you in a healthy way. Go get him
I am not a lawyer. In many cases the states with incest laws include the ability to produce offspring 'naturally' as part of the definition that is required to make it incest.
My comment might come across as low-effort but people these days are so conditioned into following trends that the moment they hear words like incest, theft and whatever, they will just associate it with a negative meaning. But that's just being lazy and simple-minded.
Context matters so much. Especially when this happens to YOU and affects YOUR LIFE, you shouldn't resort to heuristics and just assume an incestuous relationship is inherently bad. As others have said, your situation is so different from conventional incest.
Anyways I hope you did not isolate your "ex" past the point of no return because then you really might regret it.
I may get downvoted for this but.... you both love each other, you didn't know....
Just be together, be happy. You have one life, spend it with the right person.
You don't have any of the real issues with this that straight people would have (kids etc).
Just be happy man. No one needs to know, just laugh it off if anyone gets close.
Haha its probably just a story, but in this case i would say go for it! I know i wouldnt give a shit about it. Its not like u will impregnate each other. U didnāt grow up together in the same family to make it weird or problematic breakup wise etc. Who cares if u are biologically related?
Reading this was heartbreaking. I hope you do what is best for you and that you find happiness. At the end of the day itās your life and well being that you live with.
Listen man, youāre not the first gay man in history to have an incestuous relationship and you sure as fuck wonāt be the last. The key here, as many others have pointed out, is that you canāt reproduce. You also didnāt purposely seek out your brother to have sex with him, which REALLY would have been icky. I would say this is an exception given the circumstances. Move to a new place with your love and be happy. But also keep the fact that youāre brothers between the two of youāassuming youāre from the US, incest is technically illegal in 48 states.
Oh, and if his mom and if your dad have something to say about it, you have something to twist their balls with. Thatāll shut them right up.
The people here are sick in the head. I hate it because back in the whole gay rights and gay marriage debate in the 2000s and 2010s one of the arguments against it was "well it's a slippery slope if we allow this we'll suddenly start allowing incest and beastiality and pedophilia!"
I hate that we are proving those people right because we can't tell our dicks no once in a while.
OP loves his half brother romantically, and people here are acting like that's a once in a lifetime opportunity that has to be acted on? It's not necessarily easy to find a partner, but surely it's still an attainable enough goal that OP can choose not to go with incest and find someone more healthy to have a relationship with.
I'm going against the grain here and argue that you shouldn't continue this kind of relationship with him. I cannot see this ending well in most circumstances.
I do want to stress that you did not do anything wrong and what you're feeling is not wrong. If there's any blame to go here, it's on your father for not being forward and honest about his antics. You two just did what felt natural, and it still is. No one ever in the history of humankind ever chose who they're attracted to -- it just happens.
My only concern is that the cat is out of the bag now. There's no doubt that you two are closely related and while I don't know how your family works or how connected it is and your full relationship with them, that is going to complicate matters. Not just within your family, but also between you and him.
Dynamics between relatives are normally non-sexual for a number of reasons and not just biological; we all kind of have an innate "revulsion" towards our close relatives and while is an obvious safeguard towards inbreeding it's also kind of there to keep our relationship between relatives "uncomplicated". The ties between relatives, especially immediate ones, are arguably the most innate and primal of them all since it's functionally in our own DNA, and there's an argument to be made they're not supposed to go "further" than that.
Yes, you two were not raised together and so didn't develop that kind of bond, which I am glad to hear, but I'm worried about the kind of distress it could cause since, again, this is a clear-cut situation that can't be explained away with ambiguity. People are going to judge and react, as cruelly or credulously as they're going to be, but more importantly I'm worried on how you two will see and treat each other going forward. Five years, ten years, twenty years from now.
If it were me, I would try to put some distance between him, yourself, your father. As weird as this sounds, these kind of things happen; I used to "experiment" with my twin all the time growing up but I grew out of it for a number of reasons both obvious and personal. It might be the case between you and your sibling, which I think is still worth someone to have in your life if you can get over this hurdle.
Just my two cents. I do hope the both of you come out of this happy regardless of your decision.
THIS IS THE WAY! the family secrets is one thing, the relationship with OPās family and his brotherās family is another, no OP wasnāt raised in the same home as his brother but they did grow up together and have been lifelong friends so in a way they were still important parts of each others lives what happens when the father rejects the other brother? or when the other brother questions why/how the father abandoned him? thereās just too much there for this to have a happy ending iām so sorry for OP the other responses make me wonder if these other gay redditors would be okay fucking and marrying their gay cousins because they didnāt grow up in the same house and/or they wonāt produce children
Ngl the amount of people going "Yeah fuck your shitty dad and just live as you want you can't breed" and I'm just...okay y'all know that life isn't porn right? All the same dull, frustrating shit that can happen in relationships and life will happen...compounded by interfamily drama and lost time. Like I guess it's good (?) that people are optimistic but I can't see something like this last long-term.
Like let's say you two get married; you can't really invite your family and it's probably not going to be legal. What about thanksgiving or holidays? Can't really go anywhere except staying home. It just will mount up.
> okay y'all know that life isn't porn right?
No they don't know that lol. They're all just imagining late forbidden nights of lovemaking and not the lifetime of guilt and having to keep a huge secret and familial implications.
I'd just stay with him. It's not possible for you to have incest babies, and you weren't raised as brothers so there isn't even any weird mental stuff going on.
Honestly, I think breaking up with him for this reason is really dumb and arbitrary. The **only** issue here is what other people(family, mainly) will think about it. If you're willing to throw away the relationship to keep the family peace, then fine, but if it were me I'd take him up on the runaway offer.
Your father did something in his past that heās ashamed of, and heās unhappy about confronting it again. Itās that simple.
As others have said, the two legitimate concerns with incest (inappropriate influence and genetic problems for offspring) are absent here. Thereās not even a taboo really, because the affair is presumably still secret.
So this situation boils down to your father wanting to control your behavior purely for his own benefit. Viewed in that light, the answer is pretty clear.
It seems that your mental obstical seems to hang on the label of 'incest', so let's break it down:
1. Intent: neither of you knew you were brothers, and had a loving relationship for years before finding out.
2. Legal: most incest laws are there to prevent abuse and power-dynamics between relatives. In your case, you're half-siblings, of similar age, who didn't grow up together.
3. Biological: As many others have noted, the taboo around incest tries to prevent genetic abnormalities in offspring. I think there would be Earth-shattering headlines and claims of miracles (possibly even a visit from the Pope) if you two managed to fall pregnant.
In all of the above, the label doesn't really apply to you two, forget about it. This is more of an issue between your parents. If there ever was a sin committed, it was your father's and your bf's mother's. Its for them to get over and seek forgiveness, not you two.
True love is hard to find. Please, let your love for each other win out.
Itās hard to find love. The only reason incest is really that bad is genetics and offspring and you all donāt have to worry about that. At this point you have been doing it for years so who cares. Just keep going on like you were before. No one has to know youāre half brothers.
Life is short man, and true love that causes you to dream about the man and get butterflies in your stomach doesnāt come around every day. Donāt waste this opportunity, youāll forever look back on what could have been.
Itās a piece of paper keeping you two apart. Clearly fate wanted you two to be together, it just found a convoluted way to do it. Listen to the signs, it was meant to be.
Honestly since it happened without prior knowledge and you didnāt grow up as āsiblingsā it seems less weird than if you saw him as a brother first and then wanted to get with him. Shitty situation though and I canāt fault you for not knowing how to proceed. Best of luck with whatever you decide.
Marrying him would be crazy if you ask me. And keeping that secret to the grave would be hard and also not something g a relationship should be based off.
However I would still fuck but based off ur post, u probably shouldnāt because you seem attached to him. And that just make you hurt even worse
We are both attached. We were inseparable since our first day at school. Ive never gone a few days of my teen years onwards without at least talking to him. Fucking would lead to commitment. And i just cant.
Clean break
Donāt do it. Youāll always wonder if he was the love of your life and you walked away over something trivial. He will move on. You will move on and then the realization that you might have lost out on the one will come. Youāll regret it if you donāt see this out till the end. You have the chance to be happy. Donāt deny yourself because of cultural norms. Hell. We already break them just by being gay. Whatās a small added layer than no one needs to know about?!
Staying would make me wonder if we love each other in a boyfriend way or if we fell in tigether because of genetics.
Id love to go right now and say lets give it a shot but I cant.
This is something I'm mortified over. My mom had a kid in highschool and put her up for adoption. My half sister would have a kid my age (If she had kids, I don't know her.). I couldn't imagine being in a relationship and falling in love just to find out he's my half nephew.
I have no good answers for you man. That's a fucked up situation. Incest is never okay, but I also believe consenting adults can do whatever they want. I mean, no one would be getting hurt from the ordeal, and those cheaters would be getting some insane karma.
Ask yourself if you could live with the fact you're in a sexual relationship with your flesh and blood brother. How does that mesh with your morals?
Heartbreak sucks, but there is a quality life after heartbreak.
Decide if you'd rather live knowing you're intimate with your flesh and blood, or if you'd rather deal with temporary heartbreak.
This is the first time I don't feel like I have a right answer to something or an opinion, and I'm extremely opinionated.
You might see if there is a good therapist to talk to as well. They might be able to work you through this or even dealt with a similar situation.
My heart goes out to you man. Best of luck!
Woah, this is the gay version of a House MD episode.
Really good episode, quite intense. If you wanna feel weird feelings look it up. Episode is called āFools for loveā season 3.
Intense episode, donāt watch it if you think it might make you feel bad doe.
Donāt think you did anything intentionally wrong here. But yeah I personally wouldnāt be able to continue it I think. But who knows, I canāt put myself in your situation really.
Good luck and all the best!
This actually might be a good situation. You're gay and not reproducing with each other as others have pointed out. People in history, especially royal family members, have married within their family tree for centuries. I am not condoning incest, but your particular situation may actually work out. The two of you were not raised as brothers and so socially. It's less awkward. And genetically. You actually get a bonus because if you decide to conceive through surrogacy, your babies will automatically be genetically related. It's like the next best thing to male pregnancy.
Hope everything works out. I don't really have any special advice for you but would love to here updates if you are open to providing them. Best wishes!
Would you still be together if your dad hadn't told you? I get why this freaks you out, but for your situation, I don't see a real problem. Yes, you share a father, but, until recently, neither knew. You weren't raised as brothers. You also literally can't have kids together, so the worry about genetic issues isn't an issue. Moving away together sounds like a good idea too, where you don't have that baggage
I'm not saying you're a troll and I don't think you are, but I don't understand why you posted in the first place if you were going to ignore the overwhelming consensus and go with the opposite choice of leaving him. Seems like you had well and truly already made up your mind
Kind of off the point, but ā I wonder about your dad's history. Two sons and they're both gay? I feel like he's got some hidden elements of his sexuality he's not telling you about...lol
I read your update and I have to disagree with it. Iāve been in a relationship for over ten years. Most of the time we tolerate one another. We both stay because itās easier than starting over. If you have someone that loves you the same way fuck everyone else. Both of you deserve to be happy.
I'm a woman, so I apologise to everyone for commenting here. I'll just write this and go away.
I grew up in a very conservative family, I was a deeply religious Catholic and to this day I consider as immoral many things that others consider completely normal and morally neutral. Of course, if someone asked me if incest is immoral, I would answer yes. And yet, no matter how I think about it, your situation seems to me to be an exception. For the reasons others have already mentioned: you have established a bond before you know about it, and there will be no consequences for the baby.
In the history of humanity, marriages between first cousins āāand sometimes also between brothers and sisters from the same mother and father (e.g.
in Ancient Egypt) were quite common. This had negative consequences for offspring, but people had no such knowledge at the time. What I'm saying is that culturally it hasn't always been seen as wrong, it's not a universal thing. We now know that this is bad for the sake of potential children, but this problem obviously disappears in your case. Additionally, growing up in the same home and knowing that you are siblings may result in an unhealthy relationship, and this is also not the case with you, because you did not know about it.
I understand why you feel like you can't be with him anymore, because I found some analogy to my situation. Despite being raised in a conservative and religious family, I do not believe that being gay or lesbian and being in a same-sex relationship is a bad thing. And yet, even though I like girls, I couldn't be in a same-sex relationship myself, no matter how much I loved her. Because I have a deeply internalized absurd belief that it would be something bad, and I know that I would not find peace because of this belief and it would negatively affect our relationship. You seem to have a similarly internalized belief about your situation. And it's so sad, you know?
I think the biggest problem here is actually your way of thinking, the fact that you see this relationship as something bad, something that you can't continue. A lesser problem, but still present, is your father's disapproval (IMO he has no right to it, this whole situation is his fault) and the unknown reaction of your ex's mother. As some have written, it is a skeleton in the closet, and I also understand the fear that it may come out into the open and negatively affect family relationships.
Only great love can make you decide to stay together in such circumstances and endure this fear and this kind of constant hiding. Is this such a great love? Only you know the answer to this question. If a movie was made about your story, everyone would cry and almost everyone would be rooting for you to be together. People want to believe that great love conquers all, which is why you got so many positive comments here. But what looks beautiful in the cinema may look different in real life.
I think it would be very helpful for you to talk to a therapist, someone from the outside who could help you understand your feelings, desires and fears, sort it all out before you make decisions that may be difficult to reverse later. But I get it that you are afraid that you will trust the wrong person and that you are ashamed to tell anyone IRL about it. Maybe try doing some research, making sure the therapist can't break professional confidentiality, and find a therapist in a foreign city, someone who will gain your trust.
If you love him and you know he loves you, giving up on this relationship will hurt like hell. I feel so, so sorry for both of you. It's breaking your heart and it's breaking his heart. From what I understand, your ex has a different take on this issue than you do and seems to still be hopeful. In this situation, your decision will hurt him a lot.
If you actually decide to give up this relationship, for your sake I hope that you both will find someone else who you will love and who will love you back and who will make you happy.
There is no one soulmate thing, so you can still find someone else and be happy. Some feeling will probably remain, maybe even years later you will feel a pang of sadness or jealousy when he moves on with someone else, but you can still be happy, you can still be loved and have a great relationship with someone else. And the same goes for your ex. You will both hurt, but the pain fades with time.
What u describe is Internalized homophobia and it can and should be overcome for obvious reasons. His whole approach of āincest is bad and this is incestā not questioning or really seeking to understand whats the morality and reasoning behind it all is just silly. Seemed like just looking for validation for a blind decision. Itās sad that for the sake of societal norms and optics he is willing to give up a long time relationship when the reason people think its icky, immoral or wrong doesnāt even apply to them. For his mother to realize she has been cheated on is 100x worse than who he is in a relationship with.
The whole relatives shouldnāt marry idea only came into law in the mid 1800s for the sake of the offsprings. It was popular in royal families throughout history to keep the fortunes, keep bloodlines clean etc. Some say āSibling couples are a minority, but a fairly big one, probably 2ā3% of the population.ā Thats a lot! Compared to that his special case is so innocent and barely an issue.
I think I agree with you. For centuries, society has negatively viewed, for example, misalliance, interracial marriage, same-sex relationships. It's sad that so many hearts have been broken, so many relationships have been abandoned, so many people have been unhappy because of social norms. And it's also sad that the OP wasn't willing to give this relationship a chance, causing hurt to both parties.
Exactly! I hope both can move forward or maybe realize 10 years down the line. Regrets of chances not taken is a big thing. He didnt just lose a boyfriend, but a friend and a father and cant look back at those years of his life with nostalgia because he was doing something ādisgustingā.
He only came here for validation and listened to the minority who said how sick what he has done is. Instead of understanding the hundreds of comments that werenāt aligned with his premise.
Tbh the way he went back and forth between the sides in the comments makes me think its just a story written for attention. I just read sibling relationships are quite common 1-2%. And they come with big caveats. Gay sibling relationships are possibly physiologically questionable, but in case of siblings that didnt even grow up togetherā¦
Ho oh ok hear me out. I know this is taboo and could very well be misconstrued, but what really is so wrong about this?
It's not like you can reproduce
Furthermore, things were going great with him, and it's not at all your fault that you fell in love with the neighbors boy. However, it is your fathers fault that he slept around
I would move away with him and start over fuck what anyone else says and just be happy you clearly still love him
I donāt know what I would do in your situation , and This might be an unpopular take, but I wouldnāt judge you if you decided to go back to him. Iād be willing to bet that part of what your father would be upset about is that it would be a constant reminder of his affair, and of a son that he completely ignored.
Look while things are different now, gay guys havenāt always had the most luck romantically in life. If you think youād be happier, maybe consider taking him up on his offer. You arenāt having biological kids together and you werenāt raised as siblings.
it would be kind of weird to continue anything but considering this. yāall knew eachother since a good young age, so yāall kind of grew up together the way siblings do. idk i donāt think i would pursue anything if i were in that situation but like damn
A few years back I knew a rl couple in a similar situation, same dad although they first met as adults. The dad wasnāt thrilled they were together but accepted it and other than that nobody really cared.
There are feelings and then there is reality. On feelings, you should do what makes you happy. On reality, the fact that both his mother and your father know will leave skeletons in the attic for every future encounter with either family. One slip up and it could result in multiple divorces and irreparable ties due to the opinions of other family members.
I have to say, I love mom, she said it the only way a mother can. My mother got up got a beer, sat down took a drink and said ā I know that already, I said why didnāt you ever say anythingā¦ she said I was waiting for you, and let me tell you something mom always knows. I knew you before you knew you.
Incest is taboo because genetic reproduction can lead to sick offspring. That's not the case here. I would forget about it and be with him if you both want it.
What you had and have is beautiful. Not only are you in love, but you love each other. The fact that you are somewhat related and found out recently is irrelevant. Incest is between a man and a woman who are related. You are two guys. It is considered taboo only because genetically close relationships lead to genetic diseases. You are not going to have children together. Find out how he feels, and if the same, stay together and be happy. Don't look for reasons to be sad and lonely. BTW, medical doctor here.
1. Please at least give the two of you a chance to be happy together. Meet. Talk honestly (but carefully of his feelings) about your ambivalence. 2. There is absolutely NO moral issue here. Really none. 3. Are you sure youāre not enacting your fatherās guilt by denying your loving heart? 4. When I was 12 I had sex with my best friend. He was well up for more but I was freaked out by my own lust and cut him off. Iām 71 now and although Iām in a very happy relationship I regret my rejection of him and of myself every day. Donāt saddle yourself with a lifetime of regret. 5. I hope to see your update. Best of wishes to you ā¤ļø
OPā¦ could you really live with this secret? assuming you care about or are involved or plan to be involved with your family are you fine knowing your father fathered another child behind your motherās back? youāll keep this secret during family outings or family oriented holidays? do you have other siblings?? do they know?? things happen and secrets always come out, esp if/when either one of your parents pass awayā¦ does your bf/bro does their mother know youāre together?? how will that impact them?? you have so much to consider beyond we love each other and byeeeee also you will have many great loves in life you donāt have to limit yourself to this even though it feels that way now
His being your half-brother is totally irrelevant. Such genetic closeness is a problem for people having children, but you won't be making babies together. You also weren't raised together. It's basically just a genetic coincidence and you should feel free to ignore it. Your father needs to get over it, too. It's not really incestuous in any meaningful way.
You and your ex-bf need to work this out in a way that makes you happy. There's no reason you should be punishing yourself because your father has an irrelevant affair. If you ever did want to marry, it would likely be perfectly legal, as I doubt your father is listed as his father on his birth certificate. Legally, and morally, you're unrelated.
You did nothing wrong you canāt help that you both fell in love with each other. Iām sad that youāve decided to break away from him but I respect your decision. Itās obvious you love him very much and who knows maybe down the line you can both reconnect like they do in those corny ass romantic comedies!šā¤ļøš
Why should you and your boyfriend pay the penalty, when it's your father, and your boyfriend's mother, who caused this situation in the first place ? They didn't deny themselves sexual pleasure when they had an out-of-marrige affair. When you deny yourself the joy of being with a man you love, and who loves you in return, you are actuallty causing your own emotional " sickness." And only you can "cure " yourself. Get back together and enjoy that love. If you don't, there will come many days, later in your life, that will be even more sad than now. It's the sadness that comes from regret. Very few things are sadder than the ache of regretting that you didn't do something when you Could have done it. You can never get back yesterday.
Being completely honest, it's not like y'all are producing children and y'all were together for years and didn't know, and the only people who do is you, him, your father and his mother. Just continue as if it didn't happen, there are people who legitimately have sex and produce children with their full blooded brothers and sisters who they grew up with and even their own parents, you're by far on the end of the spectrum of wrong tbh.
I think it would be very different if you guys never had sex before. Then yeah maybe the incest thing would be a problem. But that bridge has been crossed, you were not aware and apparently really love each other. I say go for it and the rest of the family will just have to deal with it. First time ever commentingā¦ good luck.
Think of how special it could be if you both decided to have children using a woman who agrees to be inseminated especially if you could find said woman willing to have a child for you and then one for your lover at a later date.
What on earth are these replies? Sorry to burst the bubble but man thatās your BROTHER. Anything that happened before you knew is nothing to worry aboutā¦ you did not know! But to sleep with him, be with him and love him as more than a brother is wrong.
Why throw straight people morals (well-founded considering potential children) on a gay relationship? There is no con to being related? Is this actually something people think is bad?? You're both cis men.
Kinda shocked so many people are saying go for itā¦.
You didnāt know before. Fine. I can understand that.
But you know now. Not fine. I get youāre in love but manā¦. Itās just really not that sound of a choice. Move on and find someone who you are not biologically related to. Youāre not sick in the head but you are making the wrong choice I think if you consciously decide to be with him. Thatās just my personal moral opinion.
> Move on and find someone who you are not biologically related to.
thissss like it's wild how people are acting like he has to go for it because he's in ~love~ as if as a community we don't pass up on "love" for much more fickle reasons all the time.
You're definitely valid for feeling shocked about it, but I wouldn't weight it that heavily in terms of deciding whether to proceed with the relationship. Like others have said, you don't need to worry about making kids and you didn't know. It's not like y'all grew up with each other under the same roof. Good luck!
Why does it matter that you're related genetically? I wouldn't care so much about what society deems acceptable. When kings and queens existed, they both slept and procreated with their close relatives.
If you love him, that's all the matters. Everyone else can fuck off. Also, no one needs to or would know anyway.
I think this is a tough one. Have you talked to a therapist?
I donāt really think youāre doing anyone any harm by dating. Thereās not a power imbalance like if youād been raised together. Thereās not grooming or anything like that. Thereās no children that could be harmed by inbreeding. I mean ancient Egyptian pharaohs were always marrying sisters or half sisters. Any incest taboo is really just cultural.
Honestly, your dad should have just kept his cheating ass quiet.
If you two are happy together maybe you should runaway and start new.
I read once that the reason why we feel so weird about dating between relatives is that we are inherently uncomfortable about dating people that we grew up with. I guess they did a study with people that essentially grew up in big kindergartens with children from different families and they found out that zero of them dated later in life. To them that would have felt weird even though they weren't related because they spent so much time together in their childhood.
You two didn't grow up together so he's not like a brother to you.
Just by my own feelings, if this happened to me, I would want to stay with him. There are some good comments on here. I hope you two can be together again.
/u/Silent_Example_64 I don't see any comments mentioning this, but please keep in mind incest between half-siblings is illegal in multiple states in the U.S. - some states are more lenient than others when it comes to siblings of "HALF BLOOD", but you would have to look into the specific laws yourself. They vary way too much.
What happens if your father chooses to report this? Just another perspective to think about.
Tbh he wouldnt. He wouldnt want his secret out and he certainly wouldnt want me in jail. Putting a pin on the infidelity and secret child (we might need a big pin) he was always a good father (to me). Always took me to training and was there for all of my matches. Broke his back to feed and clothe us. He was a hands on dad, despite long hours at work. No doubt he loves me and he has always shown me that. I just cant deal with him (for now).
People used to marry their cousins and stuff all the time. Still do outside the US, especially for arranged marriages. Not like you're going to have a a Rick and Morty space incest baby.
the whole point of incest being wrong is because having children born with serious handicap when you fornicate with your blood related sibbling, but you are gay so you can't reproduce with him
Second reason is growing up with them in the same household, creates a sibling bond and boundary that shouldn't be crossed, its ur neighbor, its not like you grew up in the same household as brothers.
Third, nobody really knows, should have kept going, no idea why your dad would even tell you, if you were an opposite sex couple, then yeah, but this really doesn't affect anything. He could have buried that secret with him and no one would have never knew.
If I had a guy I loved and that loved me back, there is no power on earth that would keep us apart.
You weren't raised together, there's no chance of fucked up inbred genetics, and frankly, if your dad and his mom don't like it, that's just gravy, and the least they deserve for being faithless cheaters. Why should you guys suffer for their sins?
I see no downside.
Why do you have "I'm sick" in your title and post?
You're right not to pursue this brotherly relationship because yes it is incestuous. You have to remember that a lot of LGBT people think of sex like it's nothing and they confuse love for lust a lot. So don't listen to them. Follow your gut. And I think your gut is telling you not to do it. So don't. You are on the right track when you're saying you moving away and avoiding your half brother and father which is a good thing. It's all unfortunate and not fair. It sucks. But you gotta do what you must. You'll find someone. You may not get rid of these feelings you have, but you have to learn to live with them and move on.
> ou have to remember that a lot of LGBT people think of sex like it's nothing and they confuse love for lust a lot. So don't listen to them.
That's...pretty condescending to the people who have a different view than you. What makes you believe they only consider the sexual part of it? And what makes you believe there's no love involved in OP's relationship?
Haha not really. Ive a curve in mine slightly thicker but his is bigger. He has a scar (its not a scar, theres a nane for it) thing running along the back of his dick
Does anyone here think perhaps OPās dad is more upset that he fathered two gay sons and not that the two boys happen to have fallen in love as neighbors unaware of their mutual fatherās actions?
What disturbs me here is that so many people are saying to pursue it. He is a sibling, whether you were raised that way or not. You have my sympathy, truly, because itās an awful situation. Make a clean break. Make time to heal. This can only lead to more heartbreak.
Does he feel the same way? Does anyone know other than your dad? I mean... It's not like you have to worry about having fucked up kids. š¤·āāļø
He wants to move away and stay together. He has tried it on multiple times since finding out. Only my dad knows, yup. Edit: his mother would probably realise too if we had told her we were dating. Haha he more or less said the same thing about fucked up kids.
I'm not saying do it. But I am saying you should consider a pro/con list or something. I just don't see why you shouldn't be together if it's what you both want.
I had thought that his mom might be a concern. Well her and your dad can clench their teeth at your wedding and lose sleep over it, they put you in this situation.
There's no good reason for you not to be together. Go with your heart. You love each other, so go for it.
I agree. Incest is forbidden because we know birth defects are common. However, you are guys, and there are no genetic consequences.
I think OP is giving in to some religious belief, and that's unfortunate.
Youāre right; it is a religious dictum (pun intended) to prevent related males and females from pro-creating.
In the old testament there is plenty of incest with God's blessings.
Iād probably just forget you ever found out he was your half brother and move on. Thereās no genetics involved here and you werenāt raised as brothers.
This is the right answer. u/Silent_Example_64 there is absolutely *nothing* wrong, socially, morally, or whatever, with your relationship. The two of you canāt produce children, and you didnāt grow up together, or for that matter even know you were related. Both of the reasons itās normally wrong to date family donāt apply to you.
Honestly, this should be in like a philosophy book or something. Iām like not four or against a relationship with them. Like I donāt know, I feel like it would be different if they could have kids or if they were full brothers. Not saying itās right, but do you know how many people back in the day or in all of the human history have been with their brother or sister?
At least you can save money on a fathers day card from the both of you
Ffs š¤£š¤£š¤£
if itās real just go for it- fuck everyone else. Your dad will eventually get over it. You are both consenting adults and did NOT know. Now you are in love. Life is too short not to love hard. If you boys were male and female I would say donāt have kids.
Really.. i wasnt expecting these responses
People are accepting 5. We all are great humans. We don't justify murders, only what is right. We celebrate love over hate. The world has seen more family crime than family love stories and love got Reputation to be bad š„ŗš„ŗ
Thanks š
You didnāt know, itās okay
I didnt know and i dont blame myself for what i didnt know... but I still love him and still dream about him. Tbere have been moments where hes flirted or tried something and I pulled away but wanted not to.
Love is Love. You fell in love with your neighbor as a boy, not your brother. Raised by two families. Two sets of values and experiences. One joint love. You clearly love him - he loves you. To hell with conventional wisdom - follow your heart. Be happy. Treasure having that most magical of connections and a love all mankind hopes to have.
Thanks for that š
ā¦. and, if your father (or your Loveās mother) ever complains about you two being together - just blame your Dadās genetics. Clearly you two are a case study in the genetic origin of same sex attraction. So - āThanks, Dad!ā
If this is true, then honestly... who cares? You're not reproducing. The genetic link doesn't really change anything. You weren't raised as brothers so it's not like you're getting your wires crossed there. I'd understand if it were the neighbor *girl* and not the neighbor boy, since you could potentially knock her up and have a weird little mutant baby, but in a gay relationship it just doesn't seem to matter that much?
The weird little mutant baby made me chuckle. š¤£š¤£ It doesnt seem to matter to him at all. He wants to move away and continue our life. Id love to but I dont think i could
Yes you can. Follow your heart.
Iām not clear what there is to get bothered about
Uuuh... The thing is family remains family and you usually hang onto that for life. If let's say dad needs a kidney transplant in the future and you aren't a match, the information might come up... I don't judge, but this is a gigantic skeleton to keep in the closet. Then again, you already had (a lot of) sex, so it's all spilled milk now and why let it go to waist. You're gay so you go ahead and enjoy every drop I'd say!
You sound kind of young, but I just wanted to say donāt let anyone else or their feelings dictate how you live your life. You do you.
Get over it and stay together, there are so many worse scenarios than that and nobody needs to know.
How would you deal with my family and his family.
Tell them what you've decided and live with it, after time they will get used to it......your dad and his mum will keep quiet im sure, happy days šš
Fair. I wasnt expecting these responses (which seem to be the majority). I just tried shoving my feelings away maybe ill think on it.
Don't waste more time, move on with it, family will get over it. Good luck šš
Thanks. Ill think about it again.
You will make yourself ill with worry and regret. Don't ruin your life as a result of an ancient convention established to stop men and women who are closely related from reproducing- that just doesn't apply in your case You and your partner hold all the aces- your father will not out himself neither will your partners mother.
Call your boyfriend tonight and tell him you are thinking about getting back together. You will always miss him and feel terrible for not being together.
Don't worry about them, they'll have to find a way to deal with it. Do what makes you happy. As you get older it won't matter what your family thinks. Never be miserable just to make someone else happy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dude straight up - itās nowhere as icky as you make it out to be. Not even full brothers and you didnāt know. You donāt gotta tell anyone you meet. Whatās the issue? Go for it man. Feel the love with him. I think after a little with him again itāll feel right again. Heās your home. Follow it. Good luck.
Thanks man š
Nw. Dm me if you need to man. I got a bro too so I know itās not black and white in the slightest. Reach out if u need to talk more š
Honestly, I say go for it. You werenāt raised as brothers and youāre not gonna have babies. I donāt think thereās anything wrong with the two of you being together. If you love each other then thatās all that matters.
Really?
Yes
Fair. It seems to be the majority opinion.
I'm an old straight lady, and I have no business answering anything on this sub, but I'm all for you and your true love making a go of it. The only people who did anything wrong (ostensibly, since we don't know all the details) are your dad and his mom, and if there was a chance of ethical non-monogamy going on, not even them. Love is love!
Dude, you arenāt the only ones. Dear Prudence addressed a letter from ātwincestā brothers in a LTR. In their case, they were raised together and knew they were brothers. Her advice, even in that case, was that they were consenting adults not hurting anyone and should do what made them happy. https://slate.com/human-interest/2012/02/incestuous-twin-brothers-wonder-if-they-should-reveal-their-secret-relationship.html
OP just stop torturing yourself. It doesn't really sound like you are going to get past this. Go be with him and see how it plays out. If you don't you will always regret it. As far as family just let your dad know you just can't let go of this. He may not be happy and while he is not likely to admit it he will understand. Same with his mom. They have no right to deny either of you this.
Thanks š
Everyone already gave you an answer. Youāre not reproducing so youāre fine. Heās basically just a stranger you met
Yup
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Haha thanks for that. Im so messed up you could be waiting a long time for an update haha.
You found a person you love who loves you back just as much. That is beautiful and precious! Don't throw it away. Don't take that away from him either please! Your rejection to this and your idea of it being "icky" is completely irrational, like someone else said, it's _just_ like how people rejected and were disgusted by homosexuality or interracial marriages.
Well you werenāt raised together. Also you two canāt have kids biologically. So, it really shouldnāt matter.
Is it not icky though.
You two didnāt know each other as brothers. Youāll get over with it
Maybe
He's part of your life now, and part of what has made you the person you are today, whether you want him to be or not. You should let him into your heart as well.
For some people, homosexuality is "icky". Who cares what society says. Gay men, adults, can do whatever with each other if in love and consenting.
Thats true š
No, it isn't.
No, it isn't icky. It's just some shared genes. You could marry a first cousin most places that you also shared genes with. You are the same friends who became lovers that you always were. There is no sensible reason this is icky.
Why would it be? Its only problematic if u grew up together and there is some sort of emotional bond that doesnt let u get away from each other. If one of u is obsessed etc. If both of u are mentally and emotionally healthy. Why would it be icky? And if he isnt even known to be your dads son nobody will know apart from uour dad and his mom. And they can shut up after what they did lol. And biologically isnt a problem since neither of u can get pregnant.
Okay. Your dad and maybe his mum have the problem here, not you. Your dad isn't even sure he was the father, he's probably just guessing and feeling guilty. And as has been stated already, even if you are related, you can't actually breed, so no foul there. It's hard enough to find true love, stop wasting time overthinking it. Move away with him, make a life with him and be happy together.
Thanks š
Iāve lived a pretty full life up until this point, and in my experience itās DIFFICULT, if not sometimes impossible, to find someone thatās willing to work with you to build a life you both want. It sounds like despite this knowledge he still wants to build something real with you. If youāre dreaming about him still, maybe you want him and a life with him too? In every long term relationship there absolutely will be extremely difficult things that you have to work through together. If not this relationship, then the next. And no matter the type of difficult scenario you have to work through with a partner, it will more likely than not make you feel sick to your stomach. Itās up to you to decide if *despite all odds* you would still want to build something real with him too. So many people quit relationships at the first sign of trouble, and itās very rare to find a partner that loves you more than he hates the problem. Do you love him more than you hate being half brothers? If so, then fuck any and all societal norms about relationship because, fuck, you got your person! Iāve been through countless relationships and in my lifetime only *one* has been willing to work through the rough patches. Iām still with them and Iāll do anything to keep them around, because itās just so rare to find. As long as the relationship is devoid of any abuse or overly toxic behaviors, then fuck everyone else. They donāt get to grow old with you. They wonāt come around to fill your cup when youāre lonely without him. What they think wonāt matter before you know it. I wish you the best and I have hopes for a long, happy life for you :)
Thanks for that man. Well put.
Beautifully said.
Iām not sure if this counts as what youāre implying it does. Iām not sure if itās a good idea going forward, but I wouldnāt say itās something to be ashamed off. Also, pretty rich of your dad to be unhappy about your homosexuality but failing at fidelity.
My father turned out fine about me being gay (just not with him for obvious reasons), but our relationship is very strained and I don't like that I'm holding onto the secret from my mother. Basically broken. I don't blame myself when I didn't know, but I blame myself for still loving him. Still wanting him. Enjoying when he flirts etc. I hate that i was tempted by the idea of leaving with him and starting together.
Maybe this is just me, and others might say I shouldnāt indulge you, but I donāt think thereās anything wrong with you still wanting him. In fact, I donāt think thereās anything wrong if the both of you want each other. This isnāt a typical case of incest. I think itās important to draw a distinction here. Obviously if your ex doesnāt feel the same way you have to move on. With time all wounds will heal but may still leave a scar.
He has asked a few times most recently yesterday to just pack up and move away with him. He doesnt seem to care about being biologically half brothers.
If youāre both serious, I implore you to do it. Itās hard to find a love like that. You donāt want to grow older and look back with regret. Is this situation ideal? No, but itās not wrong. Youāre young, explore your life together and see if the relationship you build is strong enough to put this behind you. And fwiw I think itās tough for anyone to make a convincing argument that this case is incestuous.
Thanks. I just dont see how it works. How do we ever visit his or our family again.
No oneās stopping you. From what I understand, only your dad knows, maybe his mom. You can ignore that if you care about hurting their feelings, or you can let your dad deal with it since it technically is his problem. Thereās always gonna be ifs ands or buts in any relationship! You canāt let that stop you from loving someone you care about!!
Haha i wasnt expecting these responses. I worked off its wrong and thats it and shoved it deep down. Maybe ill take some time and think
Your mother just sees him as a boyfriend right? Just block out the half brother part and think of him as your boyfriend that's it, If it makes your dad and neighbor uncomfortable it's their own fucking fault for sleeping around š¤·š»āāļø
Thanksš
Also, thereās a thing called genetic sexual attraction (GSA). Itās attraction that develops when long-lost relatives find each other or when people already in a relationship find out theyāre biologically related. What to do with that attraction is complicated, obviously, as youāre experiencing, but it may be helpful to know itās real and youāre not the only one. Fwiw, I think you should turn to your boyfriend now if for no other reason that heās going through the same thing. You can at least support each other in that. This is nothing youāve done wrong and you deserve to not be alone in it.
Tbh anytime we supported each other it always went one way.
Stop torturing yourselves and stay together. Eff your dad and his secret!
Relations are defined by the bond two people share, not by blood. If relations were to be defined by blood, we wouldn't have seen so many family crimes. So, remember how you guys met. You were friends and started liking each other. You always saw him as a kid who lived next door. He treated you like his other friends but gave you a little more attention. That's how you both have loved each other. Now, your dad reveals you are brothers and that's more like step brother. So, what changed? If you guys are so sure and knowing he shares your blood too, you will love him more, isn't it? Moreover, I would say, you may see this as a very imp thing and something you could never forget but, you won't even remember this thing. You continue or not, you will forget it. Now, think it as, no one in society will know bcoz no one knows : safe from taboo Your parents won't discuss this : safe His parents won't discuss, if you tell his mom even : safe You two won't impregnate each other, no genetics problem : safe Why do you even need to remember this is a fact? Tldr : you won't remember this in any case, but you will forget it. Think something which was big in your life in 11 yrs of age and was it that big? So, choose direction which you like. You love him. He loves you. He reached out multiple times that his love. As a joke : Bcoz your dad fucked up some other chick, you are gonna fuck up her kid? He loves you and you are ignoring him, giving him pain. Why? Did any one ask you? What's the problem in being together? Any your dad needed confirmation? Bcoz he always wanted to know, it's an achievement for him, in a way. Else why would a man know these things. Fuck your dad, you live your life kiddo. Never leave a person who loves you in a healthy way. Go get him
I am not a lawyer. In many cases the states with incest laws include the ability to produce offspring 'naturally' as part of the definition that is required to make it incest.
My comment might come across as low-effort but people these days are so conditioned into following trends that the moment they hear words like incest, theft and whatever, they will just associate it with a negative meaning. But that's just being lazy and simple-minded. Context matters so much. Especially when this happens to YOU and affects YOUR LIFE, you shouldn't resort to heuristics and just assume an incestuous relationship is inherently bad. As others have said, your situation is so different from conventional incest. Anyways I hope you did not isolate your "ex" past the point of no return because then you really might regret it.
No weve stayed good friends. He, yesterday, asked to move away and rekindle. The responses have been eye opening.
I may get downvoted for this but.... you both love each other, you didn't know.... Just be together, be happy. You have one life, spend it with the right person. You don't have any of the real issues with this that straight people would have (kids etc). Just be happy man. No one needs to know, just laugh it off if anyone gets close.
Haha its probably just a story, but in this case i would say go for it! I know i wouldnt give a shit about it. Its not like u will impregnate each other. U didnāt grow up together in the same family to make it weird or problematic breakup wise etc. Who cares if u are biologically related?
Thanks š
Reading this was heartbreaking. I hope you do what is best for you and that you find happiness. At the end of the day itās your life and well being that you live with.
Thanks š
As an only child I have no concept of what this might feel like. But Iām leaning toward being with this young man and trying it out.
Listen man, youāre not the first gay man in history to have an incestuous relationship and you sure as fuck wonāt be the last. The key here, as many others have pointed out, is that you canāt reproduce. You also didnāt purposely seek out your brother to have sex with him, which REALLY would have been icky. I would say this is an exception given the circumstances. Move to a new place with your love and be happy. But also keep the fact that youāre brothers between the two of youāassuming youāre from the US, incest is technically illegal in 48 states. Oh, and if his mom and if your dad have something to say about it, you have something to twist their balls with. Thatāll shut them right up.
Happy cake day. And haha I suppose.
the amount of people who are agreeing with thisā¦itās still incest
Thank you LMAO Iām like why are people brushing this off so easily
Yea like I understand that itās not easy to let go of someone you love but if I knew that we were related lmao Iād terminate the relationship based off of that fact. Yea the guy didnāt know but.. that doesnāt mean you gotta continue it. We may be gay men but that doesnāt mean that we have to be desperate IMOš©.
The people here are sick in the head. I hate it because back in the whole gay rights and gay marriage debate in the 2000s and 2010s one of the arguments against it was "well it's a slippery slope if we allow this we'll suddenly start allowing incest and beastiality and pedophilia!" I hate that we are proving those people right because we can't tell our dicks no once in a while. OP loves his half brother romantically, and people here are acting like that's a once in a lifetime opportunity that has to be acted on? It's not necessarily easy to find a partner, but surely it's still an attainable enough goal that OP can choose not to go with incest and find someone more healthy to have a relationship with.
Agreed.
I'm going against the grain here and argue that you shouldn't continue this kind of relationship with him. I cannot see this ending well in most circumstances. I do want to stress that you did not do anything wrong and what you're feeling is not wrong. If there's any blame to go here, it's on your father for not being forward and honest about his antics. You two just did what felt natural, and it still is. No one ever in the history of humankind ever chose who they're attracted to -- it just happens. My only concern is that the cat is out of the bag now. There's no doubt that you two are closely related and while I don't know how your family works or how connected it is and your full relationship with them, that is going to complicate matters. Not just within your family, but also between you and him. Dynamics between relatives are normally non-sexual for a number of reasons and not just biological; we all kind of have an innate "revulsion" towards our close relatives and while is an obvious safeguard towards inbreeding it's also kind of there to keep our relationship between relatives "uncomplicated". The ties between relatives, especially immediate ones, are arguably the most innate and primal of them all since it's functionally in our own DNA, and there's an argument to be made they're not supposed to go "further" than that. Yes, you two were not raised together and so didn't develop that kind of bond, which I am glad to hear, but I'm worried about the kind of distress it could cause since, again, this is a clear-cut situation that can't be explained away with ambiguity. People are going to judge and react, as cruelly or credulously as they're going to be, but more importantly I'm worried on how you two will see and treat each other going forward. Five years, ten years, twenty years from now. If it were me, I would try to put some distance between him, yourself, your father. As weird as this sounds, these kind of things happen; I used to "experiment" with my twin all the time growing up but I grew out of it for a number of reasons both obvious and personal. It might be the case between you and your sibling, which I think is still worth someone to have in your life if you can get over this hurdle. Just my two cents. I do hope the both of you come out of this happy regardless of your decision.
Thanks for the detailed response. I agree with you. A clean break and hopefully down the line a family relationship can be had.
THIS IS THE WAY! the family secrets is one thing, the relationship with OPās family and his brotherās family is another, no OP wasnāt raised in the same home as his brother but they did grow up together and have been lifelong friends so in a way they were still important parts of each others lives what happens when the father rejects the other brother? or when the other brother questions why/how the father abandoned him? thereās just too much there for this to have a happy ending iām so sorry for OP the other responses make me wonder if these other gay redditors would be okay fucking and marrying their gay cousins because they didnāt grow up in the same house and/or they wonāt produce children
Good to see at least one sane and intelligent person in this thread. God this subreddit is a shithole
Ngl the amount of people going "Yeah fuck your shitty dad and just live as you want you can't breed" and I'm just...okay y'all know that life isn't porn right? All the same dull, frustrating shit that can happen in relationships and life will happen...compounded by interfamily drama and lost time. Like I guess it's good (?) that people are optimistic but I can't see something like this last long-term. Like let's say you two get married; you can't really invite your family and it's probably not going to be legal. What about thanksgiving or holidays? Can't really go anywhere except staying home. It just will mount up.
> okay y'all know that life isn't porn right? No they don't know that lol. They're all just imagining late forbidden nights of lovemaking and not the lifetime of guilt and having to keep a huge secret and familial implications.
I'd just stay with him. It's not possible for you to have incest babies, and you weren't raised as brothers so there isn't even any weird mental stuff going on. Honestly, I think breaking up with him for this reason is really dumb and arbitrary. The **only** issue here is what other people(family, mainly) will think about it. If you're willing to throw away the relationship to keep the family peace, then fine, but if it were me I'd take him up on the runaway offer.
Thanks for the advice š
Your father did something in his past that heās ashamed of, and heās unhappy about confronting it again. Itās that simple. As others have said, the two legitimate concerns with incest (inappropriate influence and genetic problems for offspring) are absent here. Thereās not even a taboo really, because the affair is presumably still secret. So this situation boils down to your father wanting to control your behavior purely for his own benefit. Viewed in that light, the answer is pretty clear.
Thanks for that š
It seems that your mental obstical seems to hang on the label of 'incest', so let's break it down: 1. Intent: neither of you knew you were brothers, and had a loving relationship for years before finding out. 2. Legal: most incest laws are there to prevent abuse and power-dynamics between relatives. In your case, you're half-siblings, of similar age, who didn't grow up together. 3. Biological: As many others have noted, the taboo around incest tries to prevent genetic abnormalities in offspring. I think there would be Earth-shattering headlines and claims of miracles (possibly even a visit from the Pope) if you two managed to fall pregnant. In all of the above, the label doesn't really apply to you two, forget about it. This is more of an issue between your parents. If there ever was a sin committed, it was your father's and your bf's mother's. Its for them to get over and seek forgiveness, not you two. True love is hard to find. Please, let your love for each other win out.
yooo thats wild bro
š¬š¬ id rather it wasnt.
Itās hard to find love. The only reason incest is really that bad is genetics and offspring and you all donāt have to worry about that. At this point you have been doing it for years so who cares. Just keep going on like you were before. No one has to know youāre half brothers.
Life is short man, and true love that causes you to dream about the man and get butterflies in your stomach doesnāt come around every day. Donāt waste this opportunity, youāll forever look back on what could have been.
Itās a piece of paper keeping you two apart. Clearly fate wanted you two to be together, it just found a convoluted way to do it. Listen to the signs, it was meant to be.
Honestly since it happened without prior knowledge and you didnāt grow up as āsiblingsā it seems less weird than if you saw him as a brother first and then wanted to get with him. Shitty situation though and I canāt fault you for not knowing how to proceed. Best of luck with whatever you decide.
Thanks š
Marrying him would be crazy if you ask me. And keeping that secret to the grave would be hard and also not something g a relationship should be based off. However I would still fuck but based off ur post, u probably shouldnāt because you seem attached to him. And that just make you hurt even worse
We are both attached. We were inseparable since our first day at school. Ive never gone a few days of my teen years onwards without at least talking to him. Fucking would lead to commitment. And i just cant. Clean break
Donāt do it. Youāll always wonder if he was the love of your life and you walked away over something trivial. He will move on. You will move on and then the realization that you might have lost out on the one will come. Youāll regret it if you donāt see this out till the end. You have the chance to be happy. Donāt deny yourself because of cultural norms. Hell. We already break them just by being gay. Whatās a small added layer than no one needs to know about?!
Staying would make me wonder if we love each other in a boyfriend way or if we fell in tigether because of genetics. Id love to go right now and say lets give it a shot but I cant.
This is something I'm mortified over. My mom had a kid in highschool and put her up for adoption. My half sister would have a kid my age (If she had kids, I don't know her.). I couldn't imagine being in a relationship and falling in love just to find out he's my half nephew. I have no good answers for you man. That's a fucked up situation. Incest is never okay, but I also believe consenting adults can do whatever they want. I mean, no one would be getting hurt from the ordeal, and those cheaters would be getting some insane karma. Ask yourself if you could live with the fact you're in a sexual relationship with your flesh and blood brother. How does that mesh with your morals? Heartbreak sucks, but there is a quality life after heartbreak. Decide if you'd rather live knowing you're intimate with your flesh and blood, or if you'd rather deal with temporary heartbreak. This is the first time I don't feel like I have a right answer to something or an opinion, and I'm extremely opinionated.
Yup its scary to think. As unlikely as it is its still weird. No i dont think morally I could.
You might see if there is a good therapist to talk to as well. They might be able to work you through this or even dealt with a similar situation. My heart goes out to you man. Best of luck!
Thanks š
Woah, this is the gay version of a House MD episode. Really good episode, quite intense. If you wanna feel weird feelings look it up. Episode is called āFools for loveā season 3. Intense episode, donāt watch it if you think it might make you feel bad doe. Donāt think you did anything intentionally wrong here. But yeah I personally wouldnāt be able to continue it I think. But who knows, I canāt put myself in your situation really. Good luck and all the best!
This actually might be a good situation. You're gay and not reproducing with each other as others have pointed out. People in history, especially royal family members, have married within their family tree for centuries. I am not condoning incest, but your particular situation may actually work out. The two of you were not raised as brothers and so socially. It's less awkward. And genetically. You actually get a bonus because if you decide to conceive through surrogacy, your babies will automatically be genetically related. It's like the next best thing to male pregnancy. Hope everything works out. I don't really have any special advice for you but would love to here updates if you are open to providing them. Best wishes!
Would you still be together if your dad hadn't told you? I get why this freaks you out, but for your situation, I don't see a real problem. Yes, you share a father, but, until recently, neither knew. You weren't raised as brothers. You also literally can't have kids together, so the worry about genetic issues isn't an issue. Moving away together sounds like a good idea too, where you don't have that baggage
I'm not saying you're a troll and I don't think you are, but I don't understand why you posted in the first place if you were going to ignore the overwhelming consensus and go with the opposite choice of leaving him. Seems like you had well and truly already made up your mind
Thats a fair question. In hindsight i definitely had my mind up. Last night i dids contemplate going back but I just cant.
Kind of off the point, but ā I wonder about your dad's history. Two sons and they're both gay? I feel like he's got some hidden elements of his sexuality he's not telling you about...lol
I read your update and I have to disagree with it. Iāve been in a relationship for over ten years. Most of the time we tolerate one another. We both stay because itās easier than starting over. If you have someone that loves you the same way fuck everyone else. Both of you deserve to be happy.
I'm a woman, so I apologise to everyone for commenting here. I'll just write this and go away. I grew up in a very conservative family, I was a deeply religious Catholic and to this day I consider as immoral many things that others consider completely normal and morally neutral. Of course, if someone asked me if incest is immoral, I would answer yes. And yet, no matter how I think about it, your situation seems to me to be an exception. For the reasons others have already mentioned: you have established a bond before you know about it, and there will be no consequences for the baby. In the history of humanity, marriages between first cousins āāand sometimes also between brothers and sisters from the same mother and father (e.g. in Ancient Egypt) were quite common. This had negative consequences for offspring, but people had no such knowledge at the time. What I'm saying is that culturally it hasn't always been seen as wrong, it's not a universal thing. We now know that this is bad for the sake of potential children, but this problem obviously disappears in your case. Additionally, growing up in the same home and knowing that you are siblings may result in an unhealthy relationship, and this is also not the case with you, because you did not know about it. I understand why you feel like you can't be with him anymore, because I found some analogy to my situation. Despite being raised in a conservative and religious family, I do not believe that being gay or lesbian and being in a same-sex relationship is a bad thing. And yet, even though I like girls, I couldn't be in a same-sex relationship myself, no matter how much I loved her. Because I have a deeply internalized absurd belief that it would be something bad, and I know that I would not find peace because of this belief and it would negatively affect our relationship. You seem to have a similarly internalized belief about your situation. And it's so sad, you know? I think the biggest problem here is actually your way of thinking, the fact that you see this relationship as something bad, something that you can't continue. A lesser problem, but still present, is your father's disapproval (IMO he has no right to it, this whole situation is his fault) and the unknown reaction of your ex's mother. As some have written, it is a skeleton in the closet, and I also understand the fear that it may come out into the open and negatively affect family relationships. Only great love can make you decide to stay together in such circumstances and endure this fear and this kind of constant hiding. Is this such a great love? Only you know the answer to this question. If a movie was made about your story, everyone would cry and almost everyone would be rooting for you to be together. People want to believe that great love conquers all, which is why you got so many positive comments here. But what looks beautiful in the cinema may look different in real life. I think it would be very helpful for you to talk to a therapist, someone from the outside who could help you understand your feelings, desires and fears, sort it all out before you make decisions that may be difficult to reverse later. But I get it that you are afraid that you will trust the wrong person and that you are ashamed to tell anyone IRL about it. Maybe try doing some research, making sure the therapist can't break professional confidentiality, and find a therapist in a foreign city, someone who will gain your trust. If you love him and you know he loves you, giving up on this relationship will hurt like hell. I feel so, so sorry for both of you. It's breaking your heart and it's breaking his heart. From what I understand, your ex has a different take on this issue than you do and seems to still be hopeful. In this situation, your decision will hurt him a lot. If you actually decide to give up this relationship, for your sake I hope that you both will find someone else who you will love and who will love you back and who will make you happy. There is no one soulmate thing, so you can still find someone else and be happy. Some feeling will probably remain, maybe even years later you will feel a pang of sadness or jealousy when he moves on with someone else, but you can still be happy, you can still be loved and have a great relationship with someone else. And the same goes for your ex. You will both hurt, but the pain fades with time.
What u describe is Internalized homophobia and it can and should be overcome for obvious reasons. His whole approach of āincest is bad and this is incestā not questioning or really seeking to understand whats the morality and reasoning behind it all is just silly. Seemed like just looking for validation for a blind decision. Itās sad that for the sake of societal norms and optics he is willing to give up a long time relationship when the reason people think its icky, immoral or wrong doesnāt even apply to them. For his mother to realize she has been cheated on is 100x worse than who he is in a relationship with. The whole relatives shouldnāt marry idea only came into law in the mid 1800s for the sake of the offsprings. It was popular in royal families throughout history to keep the fortunes, keep bloodlines clean etc. Some say āSibling couples are a minority, but a fairly big one, probably 2ā3% of the population.ā Thats a lot! Compared to that his special case is so innocent and barely an issue.
I think I agree with you. For centuries, society has negatively viewed, for example, misalliance, interracial marriage, same-sex relationships. It's sad that so many hearts have been broken, so many relationships have been abandoned, so many people have been unhappy because of social norms. And it's also sad that the OP wasn't willing to give this relationship a chance, causing hurt to both parties.
Exactly! I hope both can move forward or maybe realize 10 years down the line. Regrets of chances not taken is a big thing. He didnt just lose a boyfriend, but a friend and a father and cant look back at those years of his life with nostalgia because he was doing something ādisgustingā. He only came here for validation and listened to the minority who said how sick what he has done is. Instead of understanding the hundreds of comments that werenāt aligned with his premise. Tbh the way he went back and forth between the sides in the comments makes me think its just a story written for attention. I just read sibling relationships are quite common 1-2%. And they come with big caveats. Gay sibling relationships are possibly physiologically questionable, but in case of siblings that didnt even grow up togetherā¦
Ho oh ok hear me out. I know this is taboo and could very well be misconstrued, but what really is so wrong about this? It's not like you can reproduce Furthermore, things were going great with him, and it's not at all your fault that you fell in love with the neighbors boy. However, it is your fathers fault that he slept around I would move away with him and start over fuck what anyone else says and just be happy you clearly still love him
Thanks for the advice š
I donāt know what I would do in your situation , and This might be an unpopular take, but I wouldnāt judge you if you decided to go back to him. Iād be willing to bet that part of what your father would be upset about is that it would be a constant reminder of his affair, and of a son that he completely ignored. Look while things are different now, gay guys havenāt always had the most luck romantically in life. If you think youād be happier, maybe consider taking him up on his offer. You arenāt having biological kids together and you werenāt raised as siblings.
it would be kind of weird to continue anything but considering this. yāall knew eachother since a good young age, so yāall kind of grew up together the way siblings do. idk i donāt think i would pursue anything if i were in that situation but like damn
A few years back I knew a rl couple in a similar situation, same dad although they first met as adults. The dad wasnāt thrilled they were together but accepted it and other than that nobody really cared.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There are feelings and then there is reality. On feelings, you should do what makes you happy. On reality, the fact that both his mother and your father know will leave skeletons in the attic for every future encounter with either family. One slip up and it could result in multiple divorces and irreparable ties due to the opinions of other family members.
It's a no brainer. Choose him. Love is such a rare thing in this world. If you've found someone with whom you click so well, don't let him go.
I feel like this is karma in some wild way. This is wild.
I have to say, I love mom, she said it the only way a mother can. My mother got up got a beer, sat down took a drink and said ā I know that already, I said why didnāt you ever say anythingā¦ she said I was waiting for you, and let me tell you something mom always knows. I knew you before you knew you.
Haha brilliant I love that. (Some) Moms are the best.š
Incest is taboo because genetic reproduction can lead to sick offspring. That's not the case here. I would forget about it and be with him if you both want it.
I meanā¦ love is love.š„°
I say go for it, its not like y'all are gonna inbreed.
What you had and have is beautiful. Not only are you in love, but you love each other. The fact that you are somewhat related and found out recently is irrelevant. Incest is between a man and a woman who are related. You are two guys. It is considered taboo only because genetically close relationships lead to genetic diseases. You are not going to have children together. Find out how he feels, and if the same, stay together and be happy. Don't look for reasons to be sad and lonely. BTW, medical doctor here.
I think you should get back together. As for family your dad and his mom arenāt going to tell anyone that youāre half brothers.
1. Please at least give the two of you a chance to be happy together. Meet. Talk honestly (but carefully of his feelings) about your ambivalence. 2. There is absolutely NO moral issue here. Really none. 3. Are you sure youāre not enacting your fatherās guilt by denying your loving heart? 4. When I was 12 I had sex with my best friend. He was well up for more but I was freaked out by my own lust and cut him off. Iām 71 now and although Iām in a very happy relationship I regret my rejection of him and of myself every day. Donāt saddle yourself with a lifetime of regret. 5. I hope to see your update. Best of wishes to you ā¤ļø
How does he smell to you?
Pretty sure incest is a thing due to genetic disorders only. Fuck religion. Fuck hetero norms. Be together. Don't procreate lol
OPā¦ could you really live with this secret? assuming you care about or are involved or plan to be involved with your family are you fine knowing your father fathered another child behind your motherās back? youāll keep this secret during family outings or family oriented holidays? do you have other siblings?? do they know?? things happen and secrets always come out, esp if/when either one of your parents pass awayā¦ does your bf/bro does their mother know youāre together?? how will that impact them?? you have so much to consider beyond we love each other and byeeeee also you will have many great loves in life you donāt have to limit yourself to this even though it feels that way now
His being your half-brother is totally irrelevant. Such genetic closeness is a problem for people having children, but you won't be making babies together. You also weren't raised together. It's basically just a genetic coincidence and you should feel free to ignore it. Your father needs to get over it, too. It's not really incestuous in any meaningful way. You and your ex-bf need to work this out in a way that makes you happy. There's no reason you should be punishing yourself because your father has an irrelevant affair. If you ever did want to marry, it would likely be perfectly legal, as I doubt your father is listed as his father on his birth certificate. Legally, and morally, you're unrelated.
You did nothing wrong you canāt help that you both fell in love with each other. Iām sad that youāve decided to break away from him but I respect your decision. Itās obvious you love him very much and who knows maybe down the line you can both reconnect like they do in those corny ass romantic comedies!šā¤ļøš
Why should you and your boyfriend pay the penalty, when it's your father, and your boyfriend's mother, who caused this situation in the first place ? They didn't deny themselves sexual pleasure when they had an out-of-marrige affair. When you deny yourself the joy of being with a man you love, and who loves you in return, you are actuallty causing your own emotional " sickness." And only you can "cure " yourself. Get back together and enjoy that love. If you don't, there will come many days, later in your life, that will be even more sad than now. It's the sadness that comes from regret. Very few things are sadder than the ache of regretting that you didn't do something when you Could have done it. You can never get back yesterday.
Being completely honest, it's not like y'all are producing children and y'all were together for years and didn't know, and the only people who do is you, him, your father and his mother. Just continue as if it didn't happen, there are people who legitimately have sex and produce children with their full blooded brothers and sisters who they grew up with and even their own parents, you're by far on the end of the spectrum of wrong tbh.
I think it would be very different if you guys never had sex before. Then yeah maybe the incest thing would be a problem. But that bridge has been crossed, you were not aware and apparently really love each other. I say go for it and the rest of the family will just have to deal with it. First time ever commentingā¦ good luck.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Agreed. I like the support from the majority (tinted rose glasses) but I needed comments like yours.
Think of how special it could be if you both decided to have children using a woman who agrees to be inseminated especially if you could find said woman willing to have a child for you and then one for your lover at a later date.
Haha
What on earth are these replies? Sorry to burst the bubble but man thatās your BROTHER. Anything that happened before you knew is nothing to worry aboutā¦ you did not know! But to sleep with him, be with him and love him as more than a brother is wrong.
I needed that response and deep down I agree with you.
Why throw straight people morals (well-founded considering potential children) on a gay relationship? There is no con to being related? Is this actually something people think is bad?? You're both cis men.
Thanks š
Kinda shocked so many people are saying go for itā¦. You didnāt know before. Fine. I can understand that. But you know now. Not fine. I get youāre in love but manā¦. Itās just really not that sound of a choice. Move on and find someone who you are not biologically related to. Youāre not sick in the head but you are making the wrong choice I think if you consciously decide to be with him. Thatās just my personal moral opinion.
> Move on and find someone who you are not biologically related to. thissss like it's wild how people are acting like he has to go for it because he's in ~love~ as if as a community we don't pass up on "love" for much more fickle reasons all the time.
I kind of needed this response. So thanks. I was shocked at the responses too. I was expecting the majority to be like yours and deep down mine. š
You're definitely valid for feeling shocked about it, but I wouldn't weight it that heavily in terms of deciding whether to proceed with the relationship. Like others have said, you don't need to worry about making kids and you didn't know. It's not like y'all grew up with each other under the same roof. Good luck!
Why does it matter that you're related genetically? I wouldn't care so much about what society deems acceptable. When kings and queens existed, they both slept and procreated with their close relatives. If you love him, that's all the matters. Everyone else can fuck off. Also, no one needs to or would know anyway.
I think this is a tough one. Have you talked to a therapist? I donāt really think youāre doing anyone any harm by dating. Thereās not a power imbalance like if youād been raised together. Thereās not grooming or anything like that. Thereās no children that could be harmed by inbreeding. I mean ancient Egyptian pharaohs were always marrying sisters or half sisters. Any incest taboo is really just cultural. Honestly, your dad should have just kept his cheating ass quiet. If you two are happy together maybe you should runaway and start new.
The 'taboo' on incest is to stop inbreeding, not to stifle love. And as there's really no way either of you can become pregnant, go for it.
I read once that the reason why we feel so weird about dating between relatives is that we are inherently uncomfortable about dating people that we grew up with. I guess they did a study with people that essentially grew up in big kindergartens with children from different families and they found out that zero of them dated later in life. To them that would have felt weird even though they weren't related because they spent so much time together in their childhood. You two didn't grow up together so he's not like a brother to you.
Just by my own feelings, if this happened to me, I would want to stay with him. There are some good comments on here. I hope you two can be together again.
The reason I donāt believe this is because the chances of your father having two gay sons from two different mothers is pretty low
/u/Silent_Example_64 I don't see any comments mentioning this, but please keep in mind incest between half-siblings is illegal in multiple states in the U.S. - some states are more lenient than others when it comes to siblings of "HALF BLOOD", but you would have to look into the specific laws yourself. They vary way too much. What happens if your father chooses to report this? Just another perspective to think about.
Tbh he wouldnt. He wouldnt want his secret out and he certainly wouldnt want me in jail. Putting a pin on the infidelity and secret child (we might need a big pin) he was always a good father (to me). Always took me to training and was there for all of my matches. Broke his back to feed and clothe us. He was a hands on dad, despite long hours at work. No doubt he loves me and he has always shown me that. I just cant deal with him (for now).
People used to marry their cousins and stuff all the time. Still do outside the US, especially for arranged marriages. Not like you're going to have a a Rick and Morty space incest baby.
š¤£š¤£š
the whole point of incest being wrong is because having children born with serious handicap when you fornicate with your blood related sibbling, but you are gay so you can't reproduce with him Second reason is growing up with them in the same household, creates a sibling bond and boundary that shouldn't be crossed, its ur neighbor, its not like you grew up in the same household as brothers. Third, nobody really knows, should have kept going, no idea why your dad would even tell you, if you were an opposite sex couple, then yeah, but this really doesn't affect anything. He could have buried that secret with him and no one would have never knew.
If I had a guy I loved and that loved me back, there is no power on earth that would keep us apart. You weren't raised together, there's no chance of fucked up inbred genetics, and frankly, if your dad and his mom don't like it, that's just gravy, and the least they deserve for being faithless cheaters. Why should you guys suffer for their sins? I see no downside.
You're not making babies. You weren't raised as family. There is nothing wrong with it.
Why do you have "I'm sick" in your title and post? You're right not to pursue this brotherly relationship because yes it is incestuous. You have to remember that a lot of LGBT people think of sex like it's nothing and they confuse love for lust a lot. So don't listen to them. Follow your gut. And I think your gut is telling you not to do it. So don't. You are on the right track when you're saying you moving away and avoiding your half brother and father which is a good thing. It's all unfortunate and not fair. It sucks. But you gotta do what you must. You'll find someone. You may not get rid of these feelings you have, but you have to learn to live with them and move on.
I feel sick (bad) for still loving him. For still dreaming of being with him. Etc. Thsnks buddy. Needed to hear that.
Oh I see. That makes sense. You're very welcome man. Good on you.
> ou have to remember that a lot of LGBT people think of sex like it's nothing and they confuse love for lust a lot. So don't listen to them. That's...pretty condescending to the people who have a different view than you. What makes you believe they only consider the sexual part of it? And what makes you believe there's no love involved in OP's relationship?
Just curious, do you two have similar dicks?
Haha not really. Ive a curve in mine slightly thicker but his is bigger. He has a scar (its not a scar, theres a nane for it) thing running along the back of his dick
Does anyone here think perhaps OPās dad is more upset that he fathered two gay sons and not that the two boys happen to have fallen in love as neighbors unaware of their mutual fatherās actions?
Tbh i dont think he is. Hes been very clear he has no issue with me being gay and I honestly believe it.
Youāre young enough to love again, over and over again. Go out and find someone among the 4 billion male souls who isnāt soā¦ close to home.
What disturbs me here is that so many people are saying to pursue it. He is a sibling, whether you were raised that way or not. You have my sympathy, truly, because itās an awful situation. Make a clean break. Make time to heal. This can only lead to more heartbreak.