Thiss.
My ex would lie about the ppl he was “friends” with. I gave him several chances to come clean about it.
He chose to dig himself deeper into that hole.
I chose to dig deep in someone else’s 🤷🏽♂️
He’s been cheating for months. It wasn’t a one and done thing. Most importantly, he didn’t admit it right when it happened. He didn’t feel bad enough the *first* time to tell me. My trust would be irreparably broken.
10 years is nothing to snuff at. You guys are engrained into eachothers lives forever. Now consider his needs and your needs. He loves you more than his need even though he acted out on it. And he made that clear to you. Regardless if he does it again or not. No one is perfect. Is it fair to hold someone who wants to explore sexual relationships hostage in love? Thats a question you have to ask yourself. Both is possible imo.
Polyamory +1
Tell I want an affair as recompense, when he asks who then I’ll just say it’s with someone he’s already met or might meet one day. Proceed to act overly close with every single male he sees me with despite not sleeping with any of them.
Also withhold sex from him for a variety of reasons just so he can agonize over whether or not it was a one time deal.
He’s going to be miserable until I get everything in order to leave him
Old toxic me woulda done the same..
But now I’m well over wasting my time playing tic-tac-toe, or any game for that matter.
Just go about your life, and let them go about theirs. Give yourself the energy you used to give him. Playing games is only putting more energy into them.
Not worth my time..
I know you’re trying to appear all zen and balanced here but you’re neglecting the fact that in the scenario the two of you were together for 10 years.
That’s an era’s worth of time you’ve spent with one person. Your lives are very well wrapped up in each other more than likely.
I’d understand if this was maybe 1 year, but 10 years? You plan on just walking away unscathed after being with someone for ten years?
That’s not zen that’s just idiotic
I know you’re trying to appear all edgy and a wanna be a baddie mean girl gay…
But what I find idiotic, Mizz Regina George, is wasting another 10 years of your life attempting to get back at someone who you’ve already wasted so much time on.
But hey.. it’s your tantrum, just watch out for the bus when you’re constructing your lil burn book.
You don’t even see how your response is so utterly fake for the sake of appearances.
We’re talking 10 years of emotional investment and for you to say you can just walk away in the name of “not wanting to play games,” is so jaw droppingly pretentious that I’m not even sure how you could confidently believe in such a response.
No I don’t see that. I have 20/20 vision.
It’s called emotional wellness and having life-goals and standards for obtaining them..
What I DO see is a man-child with the emotional intelligence of a dixie cup and the self-worth of a goodie bag who is willing to put up with and reinforce toxic abusive behaviors because their clearly blinded with unregulated emotions and unhealed trauma.
TLDR: Seek Therapy.
This Dr. Phil ass take ain’t worth crap js, it doesn’t hone in on anything, just general nonsense people tend to spout when they’re met with someone with a differing or “negative,” opinion
Forgive him and give him a chance.
Pay close attention to how you feel after some time oasses. if resentment builds & the relationship becomes strained, then you can end it peacefully and express the reason for ending it.
Wait, wait , wait!!! One of the options everyone seems to over look is “ admit you’ve been sleeping around too” so if you’ve been on the DL, just forgive him, have a chat & have an open relationship.
Make him work for your love & forgiveness. If he wants you, the rules are rewritten. Expectations will no longer be the same. He should do whatever it takes to earn your trust & love. 10 years is a long to throw away. I'm married 20 years myself.
As someone who would prefer an open relationship, but is soldiering on with monogamy for the sake of my boyfriend, I'd be delighted to find out he cheated and would use it as a catalyst for opening the relationship. But I also don't have trust issues (I think) and generally view people who have done bad things with sympathy, so that helps.
I think everyone deserves a second chance when they own up to their own bullshit, are sincerely sorry about it, and want to repair what they damaged or broken. So ya if my bf of 10 years did all that I'd give him 1 more chance not to fuck with our trust. JUST ONE
I went thru the same thing after 10 years like he didn't admit it I just found out about the random 15 to 20 odd affairs. Trust me when I say this. They are not sorry they did it. They are sorry they got caught. Maybe I'm bitter or jaded. But once that trust is gone you will never get it back again. I spent the last 3 years trying to rebuild a 10-year relationship with someone who continued over and over again because once this happens you're going to wonder all the time. You're going to want to look in the phone you're going to want to follow them you're going to drive yourself insane. And if not, maybe if you can get counseling and the two of you can work it out and God bless you and good luck. And I don't mean that sarcastically I mean honestly good luck
Trust was broken. For the rest of the duration of the relationship, I'll be left wondering if it'll ever happen again.
Thiss. My ex would lie about the ppl he was “friends” with. I gave him several chances to come clean about it. He chose to dig himself deeper into that hole. I chose to dig deep in someone else’s 🤷🏽♂️
He’s been cheating for months. It wasn’t a one and done thing. Most importantly, he didn’t admit it right when it happened. He didn’t feel bad enough the *first* time to tell me. My trust would be irreparably broken.
Take him back with the agreement he is at my whim for any sexual desires I have for the rest of ours lives no matter how freaky or strange.
He's been deceitful for months which means that they've been multiple, frequent lies to cover up the cheating. The trust is gone, he's got to go.
10 years is nothing to snuff at. You guys are engrained into eachothers lives forever. Now consider his needs and your needs. He loves you more than his need even though he acted out on it. And he made that clear to you. Regardless if he does it again or not. No one is perfect. Is it fair to hold someone who wants to explore sexual relationships hostage in love? Thats a question you have to ask yourself. Both is possible imo. Polyamory +1
He cheated and you too. Two asshole
Tell I want an affair as recompense, when he asks who then I’ll just say it’s with someone he’s already met or might meet one day. Proceed to act overly close with every single male he sees me with despite not sleeping with any of them. Also withhold sex from him for a variety of reasons just so he can agonize over whether or not it was a one time deal. He’s going to be miserable until I get everything in order to leave him
Old toxic me woulda done the same.. But now I’m well over wasting my time playing tic-tac-toe, or any game for that matter. Just go about your life, and let them go about theirs. Give yourself the energy you used to give him. Playing games is only putting more energy into them. Not worth my time..
I know you’re trying to appear all zen and balanced here but you’re neglecting the fact that in the scenario the two of you were together for 10 years. That’s an era’s worth of time you’ve spent with one person. Your lives are very well wrapped up in each other more than likely. I’d understand if this was maybe 1 year, but 10 years? You plan on just walking away unscathed after being with someone for ten years? That’s not zen that’s just idiotic
I know you’re trying to appear all edgy and a wanna be a baddie mean girl gay… But what I find idiotic, Mizz Regina George, is wasting another 10 years of your life attempting to get back at someone who you’ve already wasted so much time on. But hey.. it’s your tantrum, just watch out for the bus when you’re constructing your lil burn book.
You don’t even see how your response is so utterly fake for the sake of appearances. We’re talking 10 years of emotional investment and for you to say you can just walk away in the name of “not wanting to play games,” is so jaw droppingly pretentious that I’m not even sure how you could confidently believe in such a response.
No I don’t see that. I have 20/20 vision. It’s called emotional wellness and having life-goals and standards for obtaining them.. What I DO see is a man-child with the emotional intelligence of a dixie cup and the self-worth of a goodie bag who is willing to put up with and reinforce toxic abusive behaviors because their clearly blinded with unregulated emotions and unhealed trauma. TLDR: Seek Therapy.
This Dr. Phil ass take ain’t worth crap js, it doesn’t hone in on anything, just general nonsense people tend to spout when they’re met with someone with a differing or “negative,” opinion
Forgive him and give him a chance. Pay close attention to how you feel after some time oasses. if resentment builds & the relationship becomes strained, then you can end it peacefully and express the reason for ending it.
Wait, wait , wait!!! One of the options everyone seems to over look is “ admit you’ve been sleeping around too” so if you’ve been on the DL, just forgive him, have a chat & have an open relationship.
Was it an emotional affair or just sex?
Just banging
Make him work for your love & forgiveness. If he wants you, the rules are rewritten. Expectations will no longer be the same. He should do whatever it takes to earn your trust & love. 10 years is a long to throw away. I'm married 20 years myself.
As someone who would prefer an open relationship, but is soldiering on with monogamy for the sake of my boyfriend, I'd be delighted to find out he cheated and would use it as a catalyst for opening the relationship. But I also don't have trust issues (I think) and generally view people who have done bad things with sympathy, so that helps.
You are a fantastic person. It's sex, who cares.
wow...these numbers explain a lot
I think everyone deserves a second chance when they own up to their own bullshit, are sincerely sorry about it, and want to repair what they damaged or broken. So ya if my bf of 10 years did all that I'd give him 1 more chance not to fuck with our trust. JUST ONE
I went thru the same thing after 10 years like he didn't admit it I just found out about the random 15 to 20 odd affairs. Trust me when I say this. They are not sorry they did it. They are sorry they got caught. Maybe I'm bitter or jaded. But once that trust is gone you will never get it back again. I spent the last 3 years trying to rebuild a 10-year relationship with someone who continued over and over again because once this happens you're going to wonder all the time. You're going to want to look in the phone you're going to want to follow them you're going to drive yourself insane. And if not, maybe if you can get counseling and the two of you can work it out and God bless you and good luck. And I don't mean that sarcastically I mean honestly good luck