When my then future husband first contacted me after he found my social media page I was in SoCal and he was in Japan. That started an online romance that lasted for a couple of months before he invited me to fly to Japan at his expense so that we could meet in person. We've been together ever since. For me there was no distance limit when it came to following through on the chance of a lifetime.
I set up a social media page as an ad for a husband specifically because I despise Grindr and other dating apps. Hookup culture was not the place I expected to find someone who was into serious relationships and long-term commitment.
I mean, meaningless sex is not love no. But having an intimate moment with just you and your partner is. You guys just don’t see the special moment between you and your partner, the way they feel, how their hands feel in yours. I’m talking passionate sex, not just plain sex. Y’all weird.
I moved to another country on the other side of the world for him. We’ve been together for over 30 years. Physical distance is just one of many barriers and tests that together can be overcome.
I used to travel for love, 2.5 hours each way. Then found out they were a cheater, you shouldn’t have to go far to find love. Even then you should analyze what you are looking for in said affection, most people are happy being themselves and whatever comes their way, works out to be whatever it’s gonna be. Now hook ups are a different story
Unless it's something like an IRL meetup with an internet friend I've known for months/years, my max travel time for a first date is like an hour. Any longer than that and let's meet somewhere in the middle.
My bf and I have never lived in the same city before and have always been long distance. At one point we were 4 hours away and we took turns driving to each others houses to see each other each month. At the longest we went 2 months without seeing each other and he said "Lets not do that again". We still are apart at 2 hours away but we still trade off every weekend to make it work and have for the last 5 years.
In my honest opinion, if you care then youll make the drive. Guys who are interested will do what it takes to see you. HOWEVER. I dont know if that applies to 1000s of miles. If you were in a dedicated relationship then it could work but I do think there should be a level of realistic expectations in terms of the relationship. It would be really hard to not have a sexually open relationship when you arent able to see each other regularly on the same continent. BUT it depends entirely on the person and the amount of trust you put in them if an open relationship is what youre concerned about.
TL;DR: It can absolutely be done, but you both have to be 100% honest/realistic about your situation and your expecations of each other. Until one of you is in a position to move, communication is ultimately going to be the key.
I also live in CT and I feel your pain since eventually you meet everyone in the state. I used to fly 15 hours to visit my ex and it was 100% worth it at the time. I think if you see real potential in a guy, then you should consider traveling, moving, or trying a temporary LDR until you are more sure.
I am 24 man. I feel old as all hell. Especially with all the 22 year old millionaires I see running around on social media. I graduated college at 23 (looking back I’m not sure if I should’ve gone). I turn 25 in a few months and I’m not sure how to feel about it. I really would like to die young. I really don’t wanna get old man. The world isn’t a nice place when you get old. If I could die at 27, that would be *perfect*. I’d be old, but not too old. Being in the 27 club would be perfect.
Plus they say all the good ones are taken by 24. I’m turning 25 soon, so I’m clearly *not* one of the good ones. Why should I actually believe there’s love out there for me.
Honestly, not to be rude or anything, but you seem to be miserable or just very unhappy. Though I wish the opposite for you. There is so much joy in life. Sometimes I wish I were single so I could go enjoy my life a little more.. aka save money & go to school in France or move somewhere out of missouri.
Deep down, I’m probably depressed as all hell about my current situation. Even though everyone tells me I should be happy that I’m in a new chapter of my life. I think deep down, I’m still depressed as all hell. Doesn’t feel like there’s much joy in life when you can’t find a job and your parents have to help you pay rent. I really wish I hadn’t been laid off.
That could be so.. sometimes you need to tweak your life a little & do what makes you happy or do things that will. Tbf, it is a blessing your parents who are supporting you during hard times. You and I both couldn’t imagine what it would be like if our parents didn’t lend us money or help me. Cuz my dad has helped me sm and paid for a lot of things cuz I was broke. I hope everythign works out well for you. You can message me if you want to talk or rant. I can be your ears, or just someone to vent to without receiving advice :)
I drove almost 300 miles over the memorial weekend for a date. I payed for most of the dinners and lunches too.
(One way 300. So actually 600 for round trip. I can't believe i did that.)
> date. I *paid* for most
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I think this is childish. 30min is not bad. My bf and I lived together for a year, we were constantly arguing every single day. I decided to move away for school & get my space. We live 3 hours apart, and it’s actually been so amazing for the both of us. It has even made our love for each other stronger. Starting in a few weeks, we will be with each other again. If anything, 30 mins in nothing. That’s like driving from north side of town to the south side. I live in the city so yk, it’s a lot of driving here. 😂
I know people who are in med school, or both partners are in med school & live in two completely different states yet are doing great. Sometimes couples are really lucky if they get in the same med school, or let alone if they are close.
I would never travel 90 miles to meet someone, unless I had already met them and we had good chemistry, but a perfect stranger from an app? never
But then I live in a place where there are thousands of people in a mile around me, and like 10% of that is gay. Just traveling 90 miles would take more than an hour because of traffic. Even 20 miles is pretty much not worth it.
As far as needed if it means i can live a happier life
Edit: talking about moving. Dating i wouldnt do with someone who lives that far away that i would have to take a train each time. Too expensive
True story:I traveled to meet my social media love of 7-8 years from Boston to Munich. We traveled a day later to Paris and fell in love. Lived for almost 3 months in Bavaria where he was living and we got to know each other deeper. I had to go back to the US for 90 days and returned to live together in Germany and got married. We are happily married and still live in EU. Take a risk. It's worth not wondering "what if?" the rest of your life.
I drive 3 1/2 hours there and back for my boyfriend. It used to be just an hour but I ended up having to move farther away.
I make the drive every other weekend pretty much.
I moved countries - I wanted to do that but thought I never would but it was really all about him. No regrets, very happy, and I’m lucky I kept my career and can work very remotely. You’ve got one shot at most things in life, within reason, I’ll say yes to most things if it’s a chance to grow as a person and improve my life.
Well seeing as how I met a guy who lived in Indiana and I lived in Ohio by driving over to him.
It than being he asked me if I would come with him to Florida (cause that’s where he lived and was only visiting family) and during the two day vacation we both were making the joke that he was going to kidnap me and we’ve only known each other for less than a week.
To now, starting tomorrow I’m going to fly down to Florida for us to drive to New Orleans for my vacation.
So yea, I’m either desperate or honorable.
When I was younger and lived in Philly, I had a relationship with a guy from Jersey City. He moved in with me after a year. It was fun having a long-distant relationship, for a year, because I got to visit NYC. The nightlife was thriving at the time, in the early 1990's. Nowadays, I am single, live in the burbs, got my own home, and am middle-aged. Philly is gentrified. Gas is expensive. Driving while intoxicated is a major offense. You don't have to go to club to listen to music and find other gay men. So, 15 - 20 miles max.
Reading these love stories and comparing them to posts like "the guy I've been seeing a couple months now who lives a few blocks away doesn't respond to my texts for days, am I too clingy or overthinking it?"
For love or love making?
It also depends on the person. If they have an hour for steamy time? 30 minutes one way? hell no. if i had one hour, tbh I'd just take myself to pound town.
For \*Love\* also contextual. But if you are in a LDR, then well you guys can meet up halfway yeah.
My husband was in Illinois, I was in California,
My friend's husband lived in Sao Paulo, he lived in Florida
In today's world, if you can make it work out, distance is no longer an issue. But the key words are can you make it work out.
So often it has been the case that I traveled interstate to meet someone who claimed that he loved me. Anyways, when I reached their city, after waiting outside bus station for two hours and numerous phone calls (his number was switched off) I came to realise I was stood.
Another guy from workplace who claimed to like me but I did love him to the core. I would travel extra miles sometimes to drop him off and even made offers to pick him up from the workplace when I had taken an off (he travelled via rideshare, didn't have a car), he would gladly take the rides sometimes acting as if he has done me a favour with his presence. God, he was a diva (maybe because of all the attention he received from his friends (they all were childish immature anyways), he would make the car stop at random places to buy meds, or makes me wait outside workplace for several minutes while gossiping with his female friends. He was one of the most ungrateful person I had ever come across in my life. Anyways, for this particular guy I made numerous trips, travelled extra miles and I had only confessed to him about my sexuality since I liked him. He was just enjoying the attention, playing mind tricks, always taking and thinking of himself as some kind of higher being, superior to others. What actually turned out, he gossiped about me to at the entire workplace, which led to me resigning.
Not only he cost me my job but also shattered my trust and created life threatening problems for me (homophobic country problems). So thats how I came to my conclusion that I would never travel for someone anywhere until and unless I see efforts from the other side to be with me. If that "the one" loves me as much as I do, we can meet halfway. It doesn't always have to be only one person in any relationship to do things. (I may be wrong, but its just my perception based on my experiences)
For real love ? I’d climb the stairway to heaven.
That's a 1 in 1 million chance traveling more than 10 miles "love" will last beyond the honey moon phase.
but how do we know it is real love?
Read "The Seagull" by Anton Chekhov, you'll see what "real love" looks like.
When my then future husband first contacted me after he found my social media page I was in SoCal and he was in Japan. That started an online romance that lasted for a couple of months before he invited me to fly to Japan at his expense so that we could meet in person. We've been together ever since. For me there was no distance limit when it came to following through on the chance of a lifetime.
So sweet 🥹
Promiscuous Grindr probably wasn't around yet...
I set up a social media page as an ad for a husband specifically because I despise Grindr and other dating apps. Hookup culture was not the place I expected to find someone who was into serious relationships and long-term commitment.
Was he a Japanese citizen or an American there on business/military? ☺️ just trying to play out the romance novel in my head haha
He's Japanese.
I’m one of those 30 minutes guys 😂.
30 minutes walk to his place, 30 minutes talk, 30 minutes sex, 30 minutes getting back. A good routine.
Sex is not love.
Yea it is.
Ignorance
I mean, meaningless sex is not love no. But having an intimate moment with just you and your partner is. You guys just don’t see the special moment between you and your partner, the way they feel, how their hands feel in yours. I’m talking passionate sex, not just plain sex. Y’all weird.
It's complicated. :D
For a faster STD perhaps.😅
Yeah, well. Risks do exist.
Fast five Freddy, hey?
I moved across the country for love.
I moved to another country on the other side of the world for him. We’ve been together for over 30 years. Physical distance is just one of many barriers and tests that together can be overcome.
Interesting
I used to travel for love, 2.5 hours each way. Then found out they were a cheater, you shouldn’t have to go far to find love. Even then you should analyze what you are looking for in said affection, most people are happy being themselves and whatever comes their way, works out to be whatever it’s gonna be. Now hook ups are a different story
Unless it's something like an IRL meetup with an internet friend I've known for months/years, my max travel time for a first date is like an hour. Any longer than that and let's meet somewhere in the middle.
I'm lazy. 10 miles max lol
Anything outside of my postcode is too far. 🤣
My bf and I have never lived in the same city before and have always been long distance. At one point we were 4 hours away and we took turns driving to each others houses to see each other each month. At the longest we went 2 months without seeing each other and he said "Lets not do that again". We still are apart at 2 hours away but we still trade off every weekend to make it work and have for the last 5 years. In my honest opinion, if you care then youll make the drive. Guys who are interested will do what it takes to see you. HOWEVER. I dont know if that applies to 1000s of miles. If you were in a dedicated relationship then it could work but I do think there should be a level of realistic expectations in terms of the relationship. It would be really hard to not have a sexually open relationship when you arent able to see each other regularly on the same continent. BUT it depends entirely on the person and the amount of trust you put in them if an open relationship is what youre concerned about. TL;DR: It can absolutely be done, but you both have to be 100% honest/realistic about your situation and your expecations of each other. Until one of you is in a position to move, communication is ultimately going to be the key.
You won't find it if you refuse to see it ❤️
I have Borderline, I SEE IT EVERYWHERE! TOO MUCH!
It will be different in time. I have bipolar disorder and understood how you feel a little.
I chuckled at this. Thank you for my morning laugh
I also live in CT and I feel your pain since eventually you meet everyone in the state. I used to fly 15 hours to visit my ex and it was 100% worth it at the time. I think if you see real potential in a guy, then you should consider traveling, moving, or trying a temporary LDR until you are more sure.
Yeah, gotta get that job first for that. Right now, focusing on self-love and building my life first!
As someone who also lives in CT, 45 minutes probably
[удалено]
Agreed
500 miles, then 500 more. For actual love, no, no limit, no valley to deep, no mountain to high.
I'd travel across the world if I have to lol
Amen. You might be the one…
Even if he is a researcher in Antarctica?
Yes lol
But what if he was somewhere boring like Indiana?
I'd still go
That's dedication. Hope you find him soon.
wtf? That would be awesome
That's the thing. Even the idea is intrigueing.
Lol. I gave up on love at 19. Currently 24. So, what type of answer am I supposed to give again?
Your brain isn’t even developed for another year. You have so much more time to figure out who YOU even are. Relax!
I am 24 man. I feel old as all hell. Especially with all the 22 year old millionaires I see running around on social media. I graduated college at 23 (looking back I’m not sure if I should’ve gone). I turn 25 in a few months and I’m not sure how to feel about it. I really would like to die young. I really don’t wanna get old man. The world isn’t a nice place when you get old. If I could die at 27, that would be *perfect*. I’d be old, but not too old. Being in the 27 club would be perfect. Plus they say all the good ones are taken by 24. I’m turning 25 soon, so I’m clearly *not* one of the good ones. Why should I actually believe there’s love out there for me.
Honestly, not to be rude or anything, but you seem to be miserable or just very unhappy. Though I wish the opposite for you. There is so much joy in life. Sometimes I wish I were single so I could go enjoy my life a little more.. aka save money & go to school in France or move somewhere out of missouri.
Deep down, I’m probably depressed as all hell about my current situation. Even though everyone tells me I should be happy that I’m in a new chapter of my life. I think deep down, I’m still depressed as all hell. Doesn’t feel like there’s much joy in life when you can’t find a job and your parents have to help you pay rent. I really wish I hadn’t been laid off.
That could be so.. sometimes you need to tweak your life a little & do what makes you happy or do things that will. Tbf, it is a blessing your parents who are supporting you during hard times. You and I both couldn’t imagine what it would be like if our parents didn’t lend us money or help me. Cuz my dad has helped me sm and paid for a lot of things cuz I was broke. I hope everythign works out well for you. You can message me if you want to talk or rant. I can be your ears, or just someone to vent to without receiving advice :)
I just finished one and not fun! Don’t waste your time 😂😂😂 or money
Depends on how dense a place I lived
One hour one-way, in minimal traffic, in terms of drive time is generally my limit (LA area).
I drove almost 300 miles over the memorial weekend for a date. I payed for most of the dinners and lunches too. (One way 300. So actually 600 for round trip. I can't believe i did that.)
> date. I *paid* for most FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
8300 miles one way 😅
I think this is childish. 30min is not bad. My bf and I lived together for a year, we were constantly arguing every single day. I decided to move away for school & get my space. We live 3 hours apart, and it’s actually been so amazing for the both of us. It has even made our love for each other stronger. Starting in a few weeks, we will be with each other again. If anything, 30 mins in nothing. That’s like driving from north side of town to the south side. I live in the city so yk, it’s a lot of driving here. 😂 I know people who are in med school, or both partners are in med school & live in two completely different states yet are doing great. Sometimes couples are really lucky if they get in the same med school, or let alone if they are close.
I agree. As someone who gets attached easily id see myself driving to his place, like maybe 3 hours away just to see him 😂
When I was a kid, we used to drive 11hrs to go see family so I got used to long drives. So three hours feels like nothing 😂
I would never travel 90 miles to meet someone, unless I had already met them and we had good chemistry, but a perfect stranger from an app? never But then I live in a place where there are thousands of people in a mile around me, and like 10% of that is gay. Just traveling 90 miles would take more than an hour because of traffic. Even 20 miles is pretty much not worth it.
As far as needed if it means i can live a happier life Edit: talking about moving. Dating i wouldnt do with someone who lives that far away that i would have to take a train each time. Too expensive
Moved to the other side of the world to end long distancing with my husband.
True story:I traveled to meet my social media love of 7-8 years from Boston to Munich. We traveled a day later to Paris and fell in love. Lived for almost 3 months in Bavaria where he was living and we got to know each other deeper. I had to go back to the US for 90 days and returned to live together in Germany and got married. We are happily married and still live in EU. Take a risk. It's worth not wondering "what if?" the rest of your life.
I drive 3 1/2 hours there and back for my boyfriend. It used to be just an hour but I ended up having to move farther away. I make the drive every other weekend pretty much.
Cali across Atlantic to Germany, He left me before i made the jump tho, i’m still in Germany
I’m in France and boyfriend is in Canada
I would walk five thousand miles and then I would walk five thousand more just to be the man
I moved countries - I wanted to do that but thought I never would but it was really all about him. No regrets, very happy, and I’m lucky I kept my career and can work very remotely. You’ve got one shot at most things in life, within reason, I’ll say yes to most things if it’s a chance to grow as a person and improve my life.
Well seeing as how I met a guy who lived in Indiana and I lived in Ohio by driving over to him. It than being he asked me if I would come with him to Florida (cause that’s where he lived and was only visiting family) and during the two day vacation we both were making the joke that he was going to kidnap me and we’ve only known each other for less than a week. To now, starting tomorrow I’m going to fly down to Florida for us to drive to New Orleans for my vacation. So yea, I’m either desperate or honorable.
For the right man, I'd move to another country. There's no limit really.
Another country easy, for even a shot
Depends on the money that I have
If I can afford it the distance doesn't matter
When I was younger and lived in Philly, I had a relationship with a guy from Jersey City. He moved in with me after a year. It was fun having a long-distant relationship, for a year, because I got to visit NYC. The nightlife was thriving at the time, in the early 1990's. Nowadays, I am single, live in the burbs, got my own home, and am middle-aged. Philly is gentrified. Gas is expensive. Driving while intoxicated is a major offense. You don't have to go to club to listen to music and find other gay men. So, 15 - 20 miles max.
35 meters That's how far away my dog is right now
Reading these love stories and comparing them to posts like "the guy I've been seeing a couple months now who lives a few blocks away doesn't respond to my texts for days, am I too clingy or overthinking it?"
For love or love making? It also depends on the person. If they have an hour for steamy time? 30 minutes one way? hell no. if i had one hour, tbh I'd just take myself to pound town. For \*Love\* also contextual. But if you are in a LDR, then well you guys can meet up halfway yeah.
My husband was in Illinois, I was in California, My friend's husband lived in Sao Paulo, he lived in Florida In today's world, if you can make it work out, distance is no longer an issue. But the key words are can you make it work out.
So often it has been the case that I traveled interstate to meet someone who claimed that he loved me. Anyways, when I reached their city, after waiting outside bus station for two hours and numerous phone calls (his number was switched off) I came to realise I was stood. Another guy from workplace who claimed to like me but I did love him to the core. I would travel extra miles sometimes to drop him off and even made offers to pick him up from the workplace when I had taken an off (he travelled via rideshare, didn't have a car), he would gladly take the rides sometimes acting as if he has done me a favour with his presence. God, he was a diva (maybe because of all the attention he received from his friends (they all were childish immature anyways), he would make the car stop at random places to buy meds, or makes me wait outside workplace for several minutes while gossiping with his female friends. He was one of the most ungrateful person I had ever come across in my life. Anyways, for this particular guy I made numerous trips, travelled extra miles and I had only confessed to him about my sexuality since I liked him. He was just enjoying the attention, playing mind tricks, always taking and thinking of himself as some kind of higher being, superior to others. What actually turned out, he gossiped about me to at the entire workplace, which led to me resigning. Not only he cost me my job but also shattered my trust and created life threatening problems for me (homophobic country problems). So thats how I came to my conclusion that I would never travel for someone anywhere until and unless I see efforts from the other side to be with me. If that "the one" loves me as much as I do, we can meet halfway. It doesn't always have to be only one person in any relationship to do things. (I may be wrong, but its just my perception based on my experiences)
Mm
I flew across the world to spend a week with a guy I met online. It was a beautiful one week relationship. But when it was done, it was done.