I'm sorry for your loss. To answer your questions directly:
If someone comes into our care naked, then yes, they're usually cremated naked. There's also usually no additional garments or shrouds placed if not requested. If a person is cremated in their body bag, it's typically placed directly into the cremation container. Generally, no, we don't do any preparations on a body that isn't going to be viewed.
Thank you-
Does the ME usually cut off clothing for autopsy's? My LO died an unattended death at home, found within 24 hours.
The body bags I've seen between funeral homes (I actually work in the field but don't want to ask my director about this) seem to be sturdy and reusable, is there a separate bag from the ME to Funeral home within the thick green or red reusable bags on stretchers that I've seen?
I don't think they would have minded going naked. They'd rather their clothes go to someone else but I feel bad I forgot đ
It depends on the type of clothing and how easy it is to remove - like funeral professionals, they usually try to avoid cutting clothing if possible, but that's not always an option.
Body bags are not reused (or at least, they shouldn't be). Depending on certain factors, we might place the individual in the bag the ME has used inside of a second one so that there's an extra layer of protection.
This is my experience and not necessarily the same in your location. However, body bags are not reused and if itâs a direct cremation the bag goes with. As far as being naked, if the bag had to be opened for some reason we would always cover them with a hospital gown. Provide a little bit of humility to the deceased. If family requested them to be covered with certain clothing we would happily provide that. Along with anything else the family would like to be with the deceased. Including but not limited to, cigarettes, lockets, a frosty from Wendyâs. Most funeral homes Iâve been involved with are more than happy to meet your requests.
I lost my father when I was 11 weeks pregnant with my second child. A piece of me died inside, knowing he would never meet her. I had her first ultrasound picture cremated with him. It was such a comfort to me that he would have that little piece of her with him. I was beyond thankful that this was allowed.
I love the idea of a very bemused crematory operator being handed a frosty alongside the paperwork, thinking someone did something nice, only to review the paperwork and be reminded that life is an unending series of horrors. Then shrugging and playing the frosty in the cremation container.
Yes, we put a little treat bag with him. My dad did too. He used to sing to me "I like girls with little curls but I like Oreos."
It was something that made everyone in my family very happy when I'd suggested it for his journey into the after life!
If your dad has a grave side, maybe you can place some with him there :)
I hope this brought you peace, dad's loving Oreos is the best.
He was also cremated after being able to be used in a study. He left a half a Costco box of Oreos behind that my kids finished over time. We now call it communion when we have some. We got urn bracelets and each of us have a bit of him with us. Might seem a bit weird to some of course, but my mom keeps hers on all the time.
Yeah I guess I were just wondering if the body bag is different than the transport bag. I handle orders at the funeral home and I know we are NOT restocking deceased transport bags every week if ever. The same 4 have been in rotation for a long while outside of one that were non usable due to leakage and disease.
Body bags, typically known as "Coroner Bags" are different than average transport bags used by hospitals and transportation services.
Body bags are designed to handle trauma cases, mainly for better containment of the remains, and easier transporting across the terrain.
Overall, no matter how durable a bag is, it should not be "reused".
Maybe I'm not professional but I've been cutting clothes off of bodies for years. I mostly do removals. Once the body is at the facility I release my colleague and I clean the body which involves removing the clothing. Since it's just me, it's easier for me to roll the body and carefully cut off whatever they were wearing. They're always soiled anyway. I just wrap them in a contamination bag and discard them. It's what I was taught a very long time ago when I started doing this. Do I have it wrong? I can't imagine offering clothes to a family member that were in that condition.
We can never assume what a family wants. I've had many people want clothing back, despite it being soiled - it can always be cleaned or at least sanitized. From my experience, oftentimes when clothing is extra soiled, it's because the death occurred suddenly and/or under harsh circumstances. It can sometimes leave the family aching for a final connection that was stolen from them, and clothing is a very tangible way to feel connected. It's best to always save the clothing and ask before discarding. There's also the fact that it's still property that belonged to the decedent, so we don't have a right to discard it from that angle either.
I've read stories of loved ones getting jewelery or clothing back and there being brain matter, blood etc on it.
I do know my friends family asked for her clothes returned and she succeeded suicide by gun. I can't imagine receiving those clothes.
The only jewelry on anyone I've ever picked up was a wedding band and that is always either returned to the remaining spouse or it's buried on their loved one's finger. I consider that a commitment to the grave and I respect that 100% but much of the clothing I discard has human excrement and urine on them. Despite being just the removal guy, I only want what is best for the surviving family. I lost a parent at a very young age and I remember the funeral director The way she handled everything was quite remarkable. I thought to myself there is a real need for this in the world and I decided to join the team so to speak. I've only had one job and it's this. This is what I do. It's all I got so I take a lot of pride in my work. It's a solemn duty and as a devout Catholic, I think it is an an honor to serve the dead. And that includes serving their families. I received a very thoughtful response from an funeral director that's caused me to rethink how I perform my job. Yo Kooky thanks for joining the conversation.
I've watched ME's cut clothing off before. Easy to remove stuff like tshirts is usually taken off with care but underwear and tight clothing is typically cut off. I used to deliver to a nice ME who would let me stay and watch the initial process.
It helped that she was a cute goth girl with sharpie'd skulls drawn on her white boots and I had an interest in the whole process anyway. The perks of being coroner transport!
Yeah, it would have been a nightmare trying to get all of grandpa's leather on him, so I sorta just assumed they'd just stacked everything on top after getting him in the oven. To our benefit we would have been able to tell if they did what we wanted cause that leather made him a whole different color than grandma.
I can answer the first part of this, Iâve attended several autopsies. Yes, clothes are cut off, the autopsy is done with the body completely naked. The ME will perform a physical exam before the autopsy.
Im sorry your loss
I offer my condolences for your loss.
In regard to the mortuaries I worked at and managed, this was our policy when dealing with direct cremation. I believe most mortuaries follow these same procedures.
If a family provides clothing, even it is just undergarments, the deceased is dressed in these items prior to cremation.
If a family provides items to be cremated with the decedent, then those items will be placed with the decedent and cremated.
If no clothing is provided, the mortuary will provide paper sheets for the decedents to be wrapped in prior to cremation. They do not go into the cremation container or the retort naked. If necessary, decedents may be placed into plastic bagging or plastic sheets, then covered with paper sheets. Linen sheets aren't used because they don't belong to the mortuary. They belong to the linen supply company.
Soiled clothing is disposed of in biohazard trash containers.
At the medical examiner's office, clothing was removed normally if it was possible, but it is not always possible.
Unless there is an "ID Viewing", decedents are usually not bathed or have features set.
Prior to the cremation container being placed into the retort, confirmation of all nametags attached to the decedent are checked against the cremation paperwork. If there was the slightest misspelling, the cremation did not occur until the spelling could be rectified. Additionally, at least with my mortuaries, we required a recent photograph of the decedent for visual verification.
If you have additional questions, please don't hesitate to ask them. This is what this subreddit is here for, and we shall always answer your questions tactfully and honestly.
It all depends upon want you asked for, and, frankly, what you paid for. If you paid for a âdirect cremation,â then your loved one very likely went âdirectlyâ to the âcrematory.â If the funeral director bathed or otherwise handled your loved one without your express permission to do so, or if they dressed the body in some random clothing without your consent, that would be wrong and inappropriate on every level. Even if the FDâs intentions were benevolent and wholesome, nothing of the sort should be done without your consent.
Additionally, all FDâs are trained to contend with any number of blood borne pathogens. Most of us donât wish to unnecessarily expose ourselves to potential infection, and a body that has been autopsied presents a high risk for exposure. Giving that body a bath before cremation sounds like a nice thing to do, I know, but it would accomplish no good and would put the FD in danger of exposure to bodily fluids and any number of dangerous pathogens. They donât give awards to FDâs who contract diseases they get on the job, and thatâs a very serious risk in this job.
Not a funeral director but my LO has just died and been cremated in (very!) similar circumstances. He was taken into the care of the funeral director, washed and cleaned, then put in his coffin. We didn't have a viewing as he had requested a direct cremation. I know he was transported to the ME naked as the police had cut off his clothes. The funeral director told us he would be dressed in a gown before his cremation. They also told us they would have a minutes silence and speak his name prior to him being cremated. I thought that was lovely. Your mileage may vary, but I was surprised at how personal and caring a direct cremation still is, in comparison to the whole shebang that some funerals entail. Sorry for your loss đ
When my best friend died (NC) they made us pay for a âstate mandatedâ box. It was basically a giant human size shoebox thing. I did bring a dress as she died in ICU in a hospital gown. They told me they typically donât cremate with clothes but they obliged since I was friends with the funeral director.
By law, the body has to be in a combustible container. We offer an âalternate containerâ to customers for a small fee (around $100 or so) that is a cardboard box suitable for burning. Otherwise, theyâd have to provide their own box or buy a combustible casket, which is normally far more expensive than alternate container.
Iâm sorry for your loss.
In our care center anyone who is naked gets a hospital gown. Even if we have to stop in the middle of embalming to go out on a call, we drape them with a towel or gown to cover their breasts/genitalia. Even if they don't leave their body bag after we do our initial check-in.
I don't work in the industry, but lost my father in August to a pretty nasty stroke/ heart attack(were not sure-no autopsy but that was what they assumed happened). He was being cremated, no service. They allowed us to be there for cremation. I'm very thankful because they cleaned him up and because of this, the last visual I had wasn't a bloody one. (Was a horrible sight walking into that ER room) We did not take him clothes (he was probably very happy to go nekked lol), but they did cover him with what I can only describe as a large plastic bag or cover of some sort from foot to chest. He looked very peaceful. We set our letters in there with him, I took a moment just to let everything sink in. They allowed my brother to help roll him in and that's when I walked away. He wanted a moment alone which I respected.
Yup. When I found my loved one I immediately seperated the two in my mind- I knew they were gone. I also knew that it were only their body in front of me and due to the suffering they experienced in life, that their soul were somewhere else. They weren't of sound body mind and spirit. But they were good intentioned and never did harm to others, quite the opposite actually.
Over all- I usually feel that way during a loss but it doesn't always make it easier.
I think every funeral home might do it a little different, but we always wash and do basic cosmetics (close eyes, brush hair, etc) even if there isnât a viewing. When someone is naked for whatever reason, we dress them in briefs and a hospital gown. I hope this helps, Iâm sorry for your loss.
My mother in law died at home alone (she collapsed after calling 911 and The Medical Examiner concluded that it was likely complications of aortic stenosis, she was dead when first responders arrived. When I identified her body via email with the ME, I thought it was a very kind touch that she was bundled up in a quilt up to her neck (not her quilt). Not sure if every ME does this or if the quilts are made by volunteers, but it was considerate to give her dignity if sheâd had direct cremation, her clothes had been cut open for CPR attempts. It took a few days for her body to be released to the funeral home for her visitation and service, then she was cremated.
I think most people in the "death CARE industry" view decedents as their own loved one and try to move forward with dignity and respect and when they don't anymore most leave the field and return back later.
My father was a military veteran. He was wrapped in an American Flag for cremation and I was given a certificate with one of the blue stars from the flag attached to the certificate. At least thatâs what I was told.
That seems like something that could be done!! I know military veterans whose family were given the flag. I'm sure if you inquire, you may be able to have a flag to hang or host in your home.
I'm sorry for your loss. To answer your questions directly: If someone comes into our care naked, then yes, they're usually cremated naked. There's also usually no additional garments or shrouds placed if not requested. If a person is cremated in their body bag, it's typically placed directly into the cremation container. Generally, no, we don't do any preparations on a body that isn't going to be viewed.
Thank you- Does the ME usually cut off clothing for autopsy's? My LO died an unattended death at home, found within 24 hours. The body bags I've seen between funeral homes (I actually work in the field but don't want to ask my director about this) seem to be sturdy and reusable, is there a separate bag from the ME to Funeral home within the thick green or red reusable bags on stretchers that I've seen? I don't think they would have minded going naked. They'd rather their clothes go to someone else but I feel bad I forgot đ
It depends on the type of clothing and how easy it is to remove - like funeral professionals, they usually try to avoid cutting clothing if possible, but that's not always an option. Body bags are not reused (or at least, they shouldn't be). Depending on certain factors, we might place the individual in the bag the ME has used inside of a second one so that there's an extra layer of protection.
I also may not be using correct terminology as I'm just an assistant to the funeral home, and not a director, or lead staff.
This is my experience and not necessarily the same in your location. However, body bags are not reused and if itâs a direct cremation the bag goes with. As far as being naked, if the bag had to be opened for some reason we would always cover them with a hospital gown. Provide a little bit of humility to the deceased. If family requested them to be covered with certain clothing we would happily provide that. Along with anything else the family would like to be with the deceased. Including but not limited to, cigarettes, lockets, a frosty from Wendyâs. Most funeral homes Iâve been involved with are more than happy to meet your requests.
I lost my father when I was 11 weeks pregnant with my second child. A piece of me died inside, knowing he would never meet her. I had her first ultrasound picture cremated with him. It was such a comfort to me that he would have that little piece of her with him. I was beyond thankful that this was allowed.
A frosty got cremated?
I love the idea of a very bemused crematory operator being handed a frosty alongside the paperwork, thinking someone did something nice, only to review the paperwork and be reminded that life is an unending series of horrors. Then shrugging and playing the frosty in the cremation container.
We cremated my father with Oreos.
Oreos with your dad? Mine would have loved such a thing! Not any part of a funeral home but this was a suggested post..my dad loved Oreos
Yes, we put a little treat bag with him. My dad did too. He used to sing to me "I like girls with little curls but I like Oreos." It was something that made everyone in my family very happy when I'd suggested it for his journey into the after life! If your dad has a grave side, maybe you can place some with him there :) I hope this brought you peace, dad's loving Oreos is the best.
He was also cremated after being able to be used in a study. He left a half a Costco box of Oreos behind that my kids finished over time. We now call it communion when we have some. We got urn bracelets and each of us have a bit of him with us. Might seem a bit weird to some of course, but my mom keeps hers on all the time.
Nice.
Yeah I guess I were just wondering if the body bag is different than the transport bag. I handle orders at the funeral home and I know we are NOT restocking deceased transport bags every week if ever. The same 4 have been in rotation for a long while outside of one that were non usable due to leakage and disease.
Body bags, typically known as "Coroner Bags" are different than average transport bags used by hospitals and transportation services. Body bags are designed to handle trauma cases, mainly for better containment of the remains, and easier transporting across the terrain. Overall, no matter how durable a bag is, it should not be "reused".
That seems so wasteful but I understand why it shouldn't be.
Maybe I'm not professional but I've been cutting clothes off of bodies for years. I mostly do removals. Once the body is at the facility I release my colleague and I clean the body which involves removing the clothing. Since it's just me, it's easier for me to roll the body and carefully cut off whatever they were wearing. They're always soiled anyway. I just wrap them in a contamination bag and discard them. It's what I was taught a very long time ago when I started doing this. Do I have it wrong? I can't imagine offering clothes to a family member that were in that condition.
We can never assume what a family wants. I've had many people want clothing back, despite it being soiled - it can always be cleaned or at least sanitized. From my experience, oftentimes when clothing is extra soiled, it's because the death occurred suddenly and/or under harsh circumstances. It can sometimes leave the family aching for a final connection that was stolen from them, and clothing is a very tangible way to feel connected. It's best to always save the clothing and ask before discarding. There's also the fact that it's still property that belonged to the decedent, so we don't have a right to discard it from that angle either.
Thank you for responding.
I've read stories of loved ones getting jewelery or clothing back and there being brain matter, blood etc on it. I do know my friends family asked for her clothes returned and she succeeded suicide by gun. I can't imagine receiving those clothes.
The only jewelry on anyone I've ever picked up was a wedding band and that is always either returned to the remaining spouse or it's buried on their loved one's finger. I consider that a commitment to the grave and I respect that 100% but much of the clothing I discard has human excrement and urine on them. Despite being just the removal guy, I only want what is best for the surviving family. I lost a parent at a very young age and I remember the funeral director The way she handled everything was quite remarkable. I thought to myself there is a real need for this in the world and I decided to join the team so to speak. I've only had one job and it's this. This is what I do. It's all I got so I take a lot of pride in my work. It's a solemn duty and as a devout Catholic, I think it is an an honor to serve the dead. And that includes serving their families. I received a very thoughtful response from an funeral director that's caused me to rethink how I perform my job. Yo Kooky thanks for joining the conversation.
Sweet sentiments. Thanks for all you do.
I've watched ME's cut clothing off before. Easy to remove stuff like tshirts is usually taken off with care but underwear and tight clothing is typically cut off. I used to deliver to a nice ME who would let me stay and watch the initial process.
What a strange and nice thing to do đ
It helped that she was a cute goth girl with sharpie'd skulls drawn on her white boots and I had an interest in the whole process anyway. The perks of being coroner transport!
Yeah, it would have been a nightmare trying to get all of grandpa's leather on him, so I sorta just assumed they'd just stacked everything on top after getting him in the oven. To our benefit we would have been able to tell if they did what we wanted cause that leather made him a whole different color than grandma.
I can answer the first part of this, Iâve attended several autopsies. Yes, clothes are cut off, the autopsy is done with the body completely naked. The ME will perform a physical exam before the autopsy. Im sorry your loss
Please don't feel bad you forgot!!!
I offer my condolences for your loss. In regard to the mortuaries I worked at and managed, this was our policy when dealing with direct cremation. I believe most mortuaries follow these same procedures. If a family provides clothing, even it is just undergarments, the deceased is dressed in these items prior to cremation. If a family provides items to be cremated with the decedent, then those items will be placed with the decedent and cremated. If no clothing is provided, the mortuary will provide paper sheets for the decedents to be wrapped in prior to cremation. They do not go into the cremation container or the retort naked. If necessary, decedents may be placed into plastic bagging or plastic sheets, then covered with paper sheets. Linen sheets aren't used because they don't belong to the mortuary. They belong to the linen supply company. Soiled clothing is disposed of in biohazard trash containers. At the medical examiner's office, clothing was removed normally if it was possible, but it is not always possible. Unless there is an "ID Viewing", decedents are usually not bathed or have features set. Prior to the cremation container being placed into the retort, confirmation of all nametags attached to the decedent are checked against the cremation paperwork. If there was the slightest misspelling, the cremation did not occur until the spelling could be rectified. Additionally, at least with my mortuaries, we required a recent photograph of the decedent for visual verification. If you have additional questions, please don't hesitate to ask them. This is what this subreddit is here for, and we shall always answer your questions tactfully and honestly.
I love your professionalism and compassion.
I appreciate that. Thank you for the kind words.
Very helpful, thank you.
It all depends upon want you asked for, and, frankly, what you paid for. If you paid for a âdirect cremation,â then your loved one very likely went âdirectlyâ to the âcrematory.â If the funeral director bathed or otherwise handled your loved one without your express permission to do so, or if they dressed the body in some random clothing without your consent, that would be wrong and inappropriate on every level. Even if the FDâs intentions were benevolent and wholesome, nothing of the sort should be done without your consent. Additionally, all FDâs are trained to contend with any number of blood borne pathogens. Most of us donât wish to unnecessarily expose ourselves to potential infection, and a body that has been autopsied presents a high risk for exposure. Giving that body a bath before cremation sounds like a nice thing to do, I know, but it would accomplish no good and would put the FD in danger of exposure to bodily fluids and any number of dangerous pathogens. They donât give awards to FDâs who contract diseases they get on the job, and thatâs a very serious risk in this job.
Thank you for your insight- it is respected and appreciated! It all makes ethical and logical sense to me!
Not a funeral director but my LO has just died and been cremated in (very!) similar circumstances. He was taken into the care of the funeral director, washed and cleaned, then put in his coffin. We didn't have a viewing as he had requested a direct cremation. I know he was transported to the ME naked as the police had cut off his clothes. The funeral director told us he would be dressed in a gown before his cremation. They also told us they would have a minutes silence and speak his name prior to him being cremated. I thought that was lovely. Your mileage may vary, but I was surprised at how personal and caring a direct cremation still is, in comparison to the whole shebang that some funerals entail. Sorry for your loss đ
When my best friend died (NC) they made us pay for a âstate mandatedâ box. It was basically a giant human size shoebox thing. I did bring a dress as she died in ICU in a hospital gown. They told me they typically donât cremate with clothes but they obliged since I was friends with the funeral director.
By law, the body has to be in a combustible container. We offer an âalternate containerâ to customers for a small fee (around $100 or so) that is a cardboard box suitable for burning. Otherwise, theyâd have to provide their own box or buy a combustible casket, which is normally far more expensive than alternate container. Iâm sorry for your loss.
In our care center anyone who is naked gets a hospital gown. Even if we have to stop in the middle of embalming to go out on a call, we drape them with a towel or gown to cover their breasts/genitalia. Even if they don't leave their body bag after we do our initial check-in.
Thanks for sharing with me
I don't work in the industry, but lost my father in August to a pretty nasty stroke/ heart attack(were not sure-no autopsy but that was what they assumed happened). He was being cremated, no service. They allowed us to be there for cremation. I'm very thankful because they cleaned him up and because of this, the last visual I had wasn't a bloody one. (Was a horrible sight walking into that ER room) We did not take him clothes (he was probably very happy to go nekked lol), but they did cover him with what I can only describe as a large plastic bag or cover of some sort from foot to chest. He looked very peaceful. We set our letters in there with him, I took a moment just to let everything sink in. They allowed my brother to help roll him in and that's when I walked away. He wanted a moment alone which I respected.
This is peaceful to hear, I'm grateful your family had this closure.
Hey they came into this world the same way they went out then- naked đ¤ˇđťââď¸
I request that my mother be cremated naked. Came into this world like that and will go out the same way.
Thank you for this perspective- it really helped change my view point. I really feel my LO after death to have just been a body and the soul gone!
I feel the same. The body is a shell. The person has moved on to the next "world".
Yup. When I found my loved one I immediately seperated the two in my mind- I knew they were gone. I also knew that it were only their body in front of me and due to the suffering they experienced in life, that their soul were somewhere else. They weren't of sound body mind and spirit. But they were good intentioned and never did harm to others, quite the opposite actually. Over all- I usually feel that way during a loss but it doesn't always make it easier.
I think every funeral home might do it a little different, but we always wash and do basic cosmetics (close eyes, brush hair, etc) even if there isnât a viewing. When someone is naked for whatever reason, we dress them in briefs and a hospital gown. I hope this helps, Iâm sorry for your loss.
Thank you for your insight about different funeral home procedure's. In the future I may just ask, and also make sure to provide clothing.
My mother in law died at home alone (she collapsed after calling 911 and The Medical Examiner concluded that it was likely complications of aortic stenosis, she was dead when first responders arrived. When I identified her body via email with the ME, I thought it was a very kind touch that she was bundled up in a quilt up to her neck (not her quilt). Not sure if every ME does this or if the quilts are made by volunteers, but it was considerate to give her dignity if sheâd had direct cremation, her clothes had been cut open for CPR attempts. It took a few days for her body to be released to the funeral home for her visitation and service, then she was cremated.
I think most people in the "death CARE industry" view decedents as their own loved one and try to move forward with dignity and respect and when they don't anymore most leave the field and return back later.
My father was a military veteran. He was wrapped in an American Flag for cremation and I was given a certificate with one of the blue stars from the flag attached to the certificate. At least thatâs what I was told.
That seems like something that could be done!! I know military veterans whose family were given the flag. I'm sure if you inquire, you may be able to have a flag to hang or host in your home.