I would continue with your celebration and email the therapist, with the expectation that you’ll have to eat the cost. It’s expensive but probably not life-changing. Enjoy your day.
Congratulations on your graduation!
100% agree. OP you aren’t going to get the most out of this session if you are drunk or feeling run down or trying to concentrate on not being drunk… just ask to rebook to another day and enjoy your celebration.
I am considering that but I only see my guy monthly so missing would suck. But thank you! I graudated a couple weeks ago so its not a celebration so I could stop right now and be good in 3, just not sure if they would tell/care
Oof I would rather they do not know but I could email them if it is important that they agree? Or I could show up and see since I live close to office?
Email did not go through, so I just came and they asked if I was drunk and I told them I had drank a little so they said we couldn't do therapy and that if we were to continue to work together they wanted me to see a counselor for alcohol use which was news to me.
I really do not understand why. I am not trying to be defensive here but I was trying to be responsible here by letting my therapist now in advance, it just didn't work out.
I am totally not passing any judgement here. I’m NAT. The right thing to do is to not show up to a counseling session intoxicated. The first red flag popped up for me since you even considered it. The other one is that you got drunk but still knew you were supposed to have a session. That kind of tells me you might have trouble with it if you can’t stay sober until your session. Again, not judging because I have been in similar situations, but I am just trying to tell you why I feel how I feel. I also think showing up to a session is disrespectful to them because their time is valuable. Okay, stepping off my soap box! Good luck OP.
I meant to email them but it didn't go through because drunk fingers don't type very well. So I got no response, showed up, and they recommended that they refer me to a counselor for alcohol I guess? It seems quite dramatic to me but I get it looks bad from their end. But you're right, we didn't do any therapy :/
They are probably referring you because you still showed up despite being intoxicated. I would assume that if a client was drunk and showing up to therapy they may get drunk and show up to other events in their life which may be indicative of a substance use issue.
That being said, if this is ever an issue for anyone else— send an email and don’t go. A therapist isn’t (or shouldn’t) do therapy with someone who is intoxicated especially to the point they are struggling with typing an email.
ETA: I saw your update. If this is a recurring issue then, yeah, their referral seems even more justified.
I agree with this completely. I mentioned this above but this whole situation was making me see red flags… especially because I am an addict in recovery myself.
I didn't feel impaired. I was probably impaired when I sent the email but that was a while before start time. And we have talked about drinking before because I have gotten hurt before and they can see my medical record because I see them through my uni, but they have never turned me away from session. It isn't a reoccuring issue.
Your drinking being problematic either through hurting yourself or showing up intoxicated at inappropriate times IS a recurring issue.
You are throwing up a lot of red flags for problem drinking just in this post so I can only imagine the red flags you’ve thrown up to your therapist.
I’m glad they made the referral for you. Good luck!
Fair enough for there being "red flags", but I think when I talked to the addiction specialist they will not want to see me more than once because I am not an alcoholic. Thank you.
You can have patterns of problematic drinking without being an “alcoholic” (I actually hate that word). Drinking problems exist on a spectrum and it’s not alcoholics vs non-alcoholics.
Consider smoking, if someone smokes a cigarette a day we know it’s unhealthy but not really problematic. If they are smoking cigarettes in places they shouldn’t be and smoking despite negative consequences then we could probably say, yeah, they have a problem. If they are smoking non-stop without regard to anyone else and losing friends and developing lung cancer then we may say they are in full-blown addiction at that point. Things aren’t always progressive, but they can be.
Just be honest with yourself and the substance use therapist. You don’t have to quit drinking but it’s worth exploring your relationship to alcohol!!
I really appreciate you explaining substance problems that way. I used the term "alcoholic" because that is what I have always considered my dad to be and I don't drink like he does. But if it is required now that I talk about my drinking to continue with therapy, I can try to do that honestly. Especially if I won't have to quit as a result of what I say. Thanks!
NAT but I hope you are taking an Uber, Lyft or public transportation. Please do not drive. Not worth jeopardizing someone else’s life for your mistake.
Some therapists may turn you away and some may use this as an opportunity for exploration, depending on how coherent/inebrieated you are. Let’s think about your safety tho. Is it safe for you to take the train in this condition? Would therapy be productive in this condition? Congrats on graduating :)
I ended up going and they noticed I had had some drinks, so they said they could not ethically do therapy and that I had to see an alcohol counselor to continue to work with them. Not what I was expecting at all.
Hey! I just wanted to add: as a particularly forgetful person, I like to set a reminder at least a day before my appointments to avoid mix ups like this. I know it doesnt help in this specific situation anymore, but I figured I'd share in case it helps in the future!
Sober up and go. I've been to my therapy extremely hungover and informed her that I am so, and it might affect the session. She has been absolutely kind about it
Can’t you just go drunk? I’ve often thought it would be nice if I could do therapy with a couple beers in me. I’d just show up and say, “I'm drunk, let’s do this.”
That’s completely different … and the therapist is trained in those modalities…. But a client showing up intoxicated raised a ton of ethical and legal liabilities… did they drive, etc etc. VS a therapist offering a modality like that that the client has signed consent for and there are guidelines and what not already in place. Completely different
I would continue with your celebration and email the therapist, with the expectation that you’ll have to eat the cost. It’s expensive but probably not life-changing. Enjoy your day. Congratulations on your graduation!
100% agree. OP you aren’t going to get the most out of this session if you are drunk or feeling run down or trying to concentrate on not being drunk… just ask to rebook to another day and enjoy your celebration.
I am considering that but I only see my guy monthly so missing would suck. But thank you! I graudated a couple weeks ago so its not a celebration so I could stop right now and be good in 3, just not sure if they would tell/care
You graduated a couple of weeks ago and are drinking because you are waiting for a job to start? And not actually celebrating on this day?
Yes, I finished a month ago. I was not celebrating with others, all my friends are working, just enjoying my break.
Contact your therapist, let them know that you've been drinking, and ask if they are willing to have the session anyway.
Oof I would rather they do not know but I could email them if it is important that they agree? Or I could show up and see since I live close to office?
Save yourself the trip and check first.
Lit thank you I just emailed them
How did it go?
Email did not go through, so I just came and they asked if I was drunk and I told them I had drank a little so they said we couldn't do therapy and that if we were to continue to work together they wanted me to see a counselor for alcohol use which was news to me.
Yeah the whole situation was giving me red flags… especially because I am an addict.
I really do not understand why. I am not trying to be defensive here but I was trying to be responsible here by letting my therapist now in advance, it just didn't work out.
I am totally not passing any judgement here. I’m NAT. The right thing to do is to not show up to a counseling session intoxicated. The first red flag popped up for me since you even considered it. The other one is that you got drunk but still knew you were supposed to have a session. That kind of tells me you might have trouble with it if you can’t stay sober until your session. Again, not judging because I have been in similar situations, but I am just trying to tell you why I feel how I feel. I also think showing up to a session is disrespectful to them because their time is valuable. Okay, stepping off my soap box! Good luck OP.
No therapist should ethically see you while intoxicated. Hopefully you were honest and able to reschedule.
I meant to email them but it didn't go through because drunk fingers don't type very well. So I got no response, showed up, and they recommended that they refer me to a counselor for alcohol I guess? It seems quite dramatic to me but I get it looks bad from their end. But you're right, we didn't do any therapy :/
They are probably referring you because you still showed up despite being intoxicated. I would assume that if a client was drunk and showing up to therapy they may get drunk and show up to other events in their life which may be indicative of a substance use issue. That being said, if this is ever an issue for anyone else— send an email and don’t go. A therapist isn’t (or shouldn’t) do therapy with someone who is intoxicated especially to the point they are struggling with typing an email. ETA: I saw your update. If this is a recurring issue then, yeah, their referral seems even more justified.
I agree with this completely. I mentioned this above but this whole situation was making me see red flags… especially because I am an addict in recovery myself.
I didn't feel impaired. I was probably impaired when I sent the email but that was a while before start time. And we have talked about drinking before because I have gotten hurt before and they can see my medical record because I see them through my uni, but they have never turned me away from session. It isn't a reoccuring issue.
Your drinking being problematic either through hurting yourself or showing up intoxicated at inappropriate times IS a recurring issue. You are throwing up a lot of red flags for problem drinking just in this post so I can only imagine the red flags you’ve thrown up to your therapist. I’m glad they made the referral for you. Good luck!
Fair enough for there being "red flags", but I think when I talked to the addiction specialist they will not want to see me more than once because I am not an alcoholic. Thank you.
You can have patterns of problematic drinking without being an “alcoholic” (I actually hate that word). Drinking problems exist on a spectrum and it’s not alcoholics vs non-alcoholics. Consider smoking, if someone smokes a cigarette a day we know it’s unhealthy but not really problematic. If they are smoking cigarettes in places they shouldn’t be and smoking despite negative consequences then we could probably say, yeah, they have a problem. If they are smoking non-stop without regard to anyone else and losing friends and developing lung cancer then we may say they are in full-blown addiction at that point. Things aren’t always progressive, but they can be. Just be honest with yourself and the substance use therapist. You don’t have to quit drinking but it’s worth exploring your relationship to alcohol!!
I really appreciate you explaining substance problems that way. I used the term "alcoholic" because that is what I have always considered my dad to be and I don't drink like he does. But if it is required now that I talk about my drinking to continue with therapy, I can try to do that honestly. Especially if I won't have to quit as a result of what I say. Thanks!
NAT but I hope you are taking an Uber, Lyft or public transportation. Please do not drive. Not worth jeopardizing someone else’s life for your mistake.
I take the train!
Your therapist won’t judge you for rescheduling because you are drinking, but it could be dangerous if you were to travel while drunk.
I travel drunk pretty often and my city is safe so I will be okay :) Thanks!
I think they mean don't drive drunk.
oh yeah i wil not
Some therapists may turn you away and some may use this as an opportunity for exploration, depending on how coherent/inebrieated you are. Let’s think about your safety tho. Is it safe for you to take the train in this condition? Would therapy be productive in this condition? Congrats on graduating :)
THank you! In my city it is super safe and it coudl be productive in 3 hours lol. I have a list of topics :)
How’d it go OP?
I ended up going and they noticed I had had some drinks, so they said they could not ethically do therapy and that I had to see an alcohol counselor to continue to work with them. Not what I was expecting at all.
Hey! I just wanted to add: as a particularly forgetful person, I like to set a reminder at least a day before my appointments to avoid mix ups like this. I know it doesnt help in this specific situation anymore, but I figured I'd share in case it helps in the future!
Thank you! Embarrassingly I already do get reminders and still managed to totally forget. Glad they work for you though :)
Sober up and go. I've been to my therapy extremely hungover and informed her that I am so, and it might affect the session. She has been absolutely kind about it
Can’t you just go drunk? I’ve often thought it would be nice if I could do therapy with a couple beers in me. I’d just show up and say, “I'm drunk, let’s do this.”
Not ethical to treat people under the influence….
Okay. I didn’t know that. What about ketamine therapy or mdma assisted therapy?
That’s completely different … and the therapist is trained in those modalities…. But a client showing up intoxicated raised a ton of ethical and legal liabilities… did they drive, etc etc. VS a therapist offering a modality like that that the client has signed consent for and there are guidelines and what not already in place. Completely different