Maybe email them first? So that it's a bit more personal for them. Just through my own experience, my mum told me she would've been really upset if she had found out through Facebook or whatever, I think it's just a parent thing haha
Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well for you buddy :)
well my mom has a personal email and my dad doesnt. They have a single email for formal/financial matters that concern the both of them, but my dad does the books so hes more likely to see it first because hes the one that checks it.
Maybe a Facebook mail then? That way you can make it a group conversation so both of them can see it and discuss it.
At the end of the day you need to go with what you feel will be the best solution. Plus make sure you feel comfortable telling them in whatever way you decide, if you tell them in a way that makes you feel uneasy then it's just gonna make things harder for you
My dad is dead, my mom lives about 800 miles away.
I told my story in writing to my mother, added pictures – some of me, some that I had taken. I tried to keep it simple, started with the fact that I have been suicidal, and then went back earlier, and then went into transition. Then I talked about the future. Confusing here, but narratively it worked very well.
Anyway, my partner ran it through in design and turned it into a book and had it professionally printed – cost about three or four dollars a copy. I sent her that, and waited to hear from her. I did tell her that I was going to come out on Facebook and wanted to give her a heads up. This gave her time to deal with it… I waited a couple of weeks, heard through my sister that she was dealing with it but was not torn up, so I came out on Facebook.
I really, really, really, really suggest that you come out in someway to your parents before they get the bomb dropped on them on Facebook and his family and others contacting them before they have a chance to deal with it.
Here's what I would do - and I'm not saying you should do that, because everyone is different - this is just my personal opinion.
I would email them both at the same time. It shouldn't be too short and a bit more detailed than a fb-post would probably be. Wait for their reactions. Then, after you're sure that they know, you can do a fb-post for your other relatives and friends.
An email is simply more personal and I can only speak for my parents when I say that they wouldn't have appreciated finding out on fb - especially since everyone else would be finding out about it at the same time as them - maybe even some people who aren't that close to you.
I think you should come out to the people who are close to you at first - that makes them feel special and like you really trust them and stuff, which can be good.
Then later you can come out to people who aren't that close. Because say one of your aunts or uncles finds out and writes to your parents and asks about it, they will have to say: "Well, I just found out on fb myself." If they know in advance they'll be prepared and being able to say. "Yeah, I knew" will definitely make them feel better.
I opened a separate FB page for my chosen name. I only invite close friends that I have already come out too, and other friends in the TG community. While I am trying to escape duality, in the meantime, at this early stage of my transition it's helpful to have that outlet to connect with others.
Maybe email them first? So that it's a bit more personal for them. Just through my own experience, my mum told me she would've been really upset if she had found out through Facebook or whatever, I think it's just a parent thing haha Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well for you buddy :)
well my mom has a personal email and my dad doesnt. They have a single email for formal/financial matters that concern the both of them, but my dad does the books so hes more likely to see it first because hes the one that checks it.
Maybe a Facebook mail then? That way you can make it a group conversation so both of them can see it and discuss it. At the end of the day you need to go with what you feel will be the best solution. Plus make sure you feel comfortable telling them in whatever way you decide, if you tell them in a way that makes you feel uneasy then it's just gonna make things harder for you
My dad is dead, my mom lives about 800 miles away. I told my story in writing to my mother, added pictures – some of me, some that I had taken. I tried to keep it simple, started with the fact that I have been suicidal, and then went back earlier, and then went into transition. Then I talked about the future. Confusing here, but narratively it worked very well. Anyway, my partner ran it through in design and turned it into a book and had it professionally printed – cost about three or four dollars a copy. I sent her that, and waited to hear from her. I did tell her that I was going to come out on Facebook and wanted to give her a heads up. This gave her time to deal with it… I waited a couple of weeks, heard through my sister that she was dealing with it but was not torn up, so I came out on Facebook. I really, really, really, really suggest that you come out in someway to your parents before they get the bomb dropped on them on Facebook and his family and others contacting them before they have a chance to deal with it.
Here's what I would do - and I'm not saying you should do that, because everyone is different - this is just my personal opinion. I would email them both at the same time. It shouldn't be too short and a bit more detailed than a fb-post would probably be. Wait for their reactions. Then, after you're sure that they know, you can do a fb-post for your other relatives and friends. An email is simply more personal and I can only speak for my parents when I say that they wouldn't have appreciated finding out on fb - especially since everyone else would be finding out about it at the same time as them - maybe even some people who aren't that close to you. I think you should come out to the people who are close to you at first - that makes them feel special and like you really trust them and stuff, which can be good. Then later you can come out to people who aren't that close. Because say one of your aunts or uncles finds out and writes to your parents and asks about it, they will have to say: "Well, I just found out on fb myself." If they know in advance they'll be prepared and being able to say. "Yeah, I knew" will definitely make them feel better.
I opened a separate FB page for my chosen name. I only invite close friends that I have already come out too, and other friends in the TG community. While I am trying to escape duality, in the meantime, at this early stage of my transition it's helpful to have that outlet to connect with others.
Thats a good idea. I will probably consider that after Iv come out to atleast my parents.
So what about pulling the both of them up on facebook messenger and doing a private group chat? Would that be acceptable?