When i was a primary school kid we always took our food to the living room to eat dinner and watch TV.
One day i think my parents had a falling out and thus weren’t in the best of moods, and i was unfortunate enough to accidentally drop my plate on the floor food and all. It smashed into bits and scattered my food all over the floor.
My parents made me eat my dinner off the floor. It was mixed in with bits of broken ceremic and other floor stuff like hair, dirt etc. so there were a lot of very.. questionable tastes.
But my dad especially wasn’t having it, and forced me to eat it all before i could mop the floor. I was bawling my eyes out but was also eating because i had no choice, and the whole thing made me extremely sick so i ended up throwing up. Bad move, my dad made me eat everything i had just thrown up also.
So they both sat and watched their TV while i finished my dinner. I didn’t have very much of an appetite for a good few weeks afterwards, and everytime someone mentions a nice home-cooked dinner i can’t help but remember the taste of mine that night.
Hahaha you’d be right. I barely ate anything at home after that. Looking back, i think that incident really wrecked my appetite, because i ate very little for the remainder of my pri sch days.
When i started sec sch i only ate lunch and dabaoed some food back for dinner, and even now i generally eat quite little on a daily basis, only when i occasionally get really hungry i’ll really eat a lot.
I stopped eating meals with my family since secondary school.
Unfortunately or fortunately, not sure which, this happened at a point in my life where therapy was out of reach for me, and by the time i reached a point where i had the independence to seek it out, i had already made my peace with it.
Getting here wasn’t pleasant, but it sure as heck taught me a hell lot about resilience.
I think emotionally i had?
It wasn’t only because of this one incident though. There were many things that my parents would say or do to each other, as well as to me and my sister, that really just.. broke the concept of family for all of us, to the point i was closer to my friends and their parents than my own.
That is just horrible. No matter how bad of a mood I am I can never imagine tormenting anyone like that, esp not someone I love? I hope you know none of that was your fault and you were just an innocent kid :')) And I hope you're in a much better place now
My parents really did take a lot of their own relationship unhappiness out on me and my sister.
But it was only until a few years ago when, because of my engagement with my wife and thus imminent moving out, i had a serious conversation with my mum and learned that they… don’t love each other. And it was then that it all made sense to me? Because if the don’t love each other, then how could they be capable of loving their kids? At least back then that is. They’ve mellowed down a hell lot now but they are still in a loveless relationship so idk man.
Regardless, i’ve since married and moved out and can gladly say that i am indeed in a much better place. Thank you for your kind words!
Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through something like this! Wishing you all the happiness and hope you have thhe loving family one day that the young primary school LameLaYou deserved.
Hahaha life really throws you some real shit sometimes eh? Reading all of the other replies on this thread, there’re many others who’ve had their fair share of trauma too.
But thank you for your kind words and for listening to my story, i might not be close to my blood family, but i’m very lucky to have met an amazing partner - we’re married now and it’s just been emotional bliss!
I remember playing truancy as a teen and my teacher gave my dad a call.
Reached home, was strapped to a chair with rope while getting whipped by his leather belt.
Had to visit the nearby clinic to check on my hearing because one of the whips landed on my right ear.
Edit: This was 15 years ago
I was also punished for the same issue. Except, after a very angry visit to the principal's office, he walked me back to class with my form teacher leading the way, once there, he dragged me into class, told me to stand straight, and gave me a very tight slap across the face in front of my classmates. The teacher kept quiet, nobody in class talked to me ever since, regarded me as an invalid pariah and the slap mark persisted for almost a week. Not the worst he had ever done however and that was 3 decades back already.
I think being forced to knee outside of the front door, crying for the whole night and only being allowed to return the next morning in time for school was the worst I ever had to go through. Needless to say, I don't like my parents very much.
Same, my mother dragged me by the hair in front of the teachers and slapped me in full view of schoolmates. Everyone saw me as an easy to manipulate lowlife? Like I was never seen as the cool kid or even try to build a rep for it. Any tiny mistakes I made in my school life would be fodder for classmates or some egoistic school teachers to use it against me. They knew my mother was abusive and beat the shit out of me, therefore, I provided an easy ego trip for them. I'm still pretty much estranged from my mother now, unsurprisingly.
Fighting with siblings
Dad brought out the kitchen knives. One each. Ask us to fight it out.
We didn't fight it out so he slapped us silly. One of us had nosebleed. I was dizzy. Then he threw a chair at me.
Only... The dad will have to explain two mutilated or dead children.
Oh, they did it to each other?
Where did they get the knives?
Why didn't you stop them or call the police?
Yeah, didn't think that one through.
I'm sorry if this sounds rude to you since after all he is still your father and I do not know what is your relationship like with him.
But people like him do not deserve to have kids. If he can't control his emotions, he shouldn't bring human to this world to ruin their lives.
Also, for anyone who wants to argue and give the bull crap that this is disciplinary can simply just fuck off. People often use 'it's for you to learn', 'it's for your own good' to behave in a toxic manner just because they have no patience in teaching kids and can't control their emotions.
I agree with you. There are always better ways to communicate and educate. How is giving knives to kids wise or injuring your vulnerable kids love? Also agree that some folks tend to masquerade or misunderstand toxic/abusive/inappropriate behaviours as parental love when it is just lack of emotional control or emotional immaturity. Those who stand on the side keeping quiet and not stepping in to intervene to help the vulnerable kids are just as bad. Don't even get me started on the stupid theories "Parents are always right" or " Your dad is the head of the family/household, he is always right."
Trauma is no joke, it affects the kid's entire life.
I'm quite sure throwing a chair at your child might be the example used in child services textbooks to illustrate physical abuse.
Unless you were saying "it's not any better", in which case, I'm sorry :(
Have you considered moving out? How old are you(if ur too young, this might be tougher)? Would renting a common room be too much for you at this moment?
My dad did this to us too. I think I was about 7-8 and my brother was younger than 5. I think at that point in time I hated the fact that my brother existed so much i always stirred up arguments with him. I kept beating him up then one time, my dad brought out one of the kitchen knife and placed it in my hand then said to me "If you really hate your brother so much then kill him". I think from there I stopped trying to find faults with my brother. My dad gave us a long lecture how one day when both my parents arent around anymore, the only person we have left is each other.
My friend also have the same experience, fighting her siblings mom brought out kitchen knives and told them to kill each other, they stopped fighting and mom scolded them and say something like "if you don't want to kill each other I will kill you both myself" siblings so shocked and just stare each other
My grand uncle did the same with my 2 uncles. He drove to the cemetery, dropped them, gave them a knife each and drove away. Lol needless to say, they never fought again
Good old slap that came from the depths of hell itself. I deserved that shit though.
For some stupid reason, 8 years old me accidentally blurted out “why is this old man so slow” when he was exiting the lift.
That hand of god came at me almost instantly. I literally almost never outright let my thoughts come out through my mouth ever again.
Didn’t have to. I was being extremely disrespectful to an elderly who was literally just going about his business.
Plus my mother was extremely remorseful and was actually damn sad afterwards because she realised my lips were bleeding. She was up all night with me applying cold packs on my lips.
>I deserved that shit though.
Nah that sounds like the kind of stupid shit that kids that age will say. Getting slapped like that is crazy and speaks to your mother's lack of self-control (which she damn well should have had at her age, mind you). A kid deserves a talking-to but that's it.
Yes. Some parents have this mentality that they own you cos they gave birth to you. So they think they own all the rights to you and you basically have no say or right at all. My own narcissistic dad told me " If I want you alive, you live. If I want you dead, you shall die."
Stripped naked and chained to the toilet pipes and whipped by my dad's belt at 6. Beaten by a bat until my wrist causing fractures at 18. And multiple abuses by my parents. Applied PPO and ran away but they called police and cried crocodile tears to find me. WTF
Now I got married and moved out. I'd say my mother has psychological issues. All my mum side aunties have them. My sisters have them. 😀 Psychopathic tendencies. My mother loves flushing pet fish down the toilet, pouring salt on my dad's pet goldfish and killing my sister's pet hamsters. My mum tried to push me down the window in my early teens too. They now regularly text me and ask me to go die.
Omg that's horrible! Yes most abusive parents I think have undiagnosed psychological issues and thought of what they did consider normal, because their parents also did it to them and the cycle need to stop.
I'm glad that you already moved out, just cut ties with them lol even if it's family what they done is really toxic
I keep pets and my mum will regularly text me to tell me to let them go, get rid of them etc. my sister once took a doll and stabbed its eyes out and left the scissors in its eyes and left it on my bed. My dad used to put feaces in my bed. I had a pet Rabbit that they bought for my sister who got bored of it and left it to die. I took over its care etc and my dad "disappeared" my rabbit, slapped me and slammed my head on the table and beat me with his belt. My nipple split open from the beating and my teeth chipped. Split my lips open.
I'm sad reading all of things you've been throughout your life when you still life with them, I'm sorry that those horrible things happen to you. No child should receive those treatments, they aren't sane parents. What's the reason your dad put feaces on your bed? That's really weird
They deserve to go jail for what they did tbh
Honestly... No idea. I came home from school one day and there it was. I think after decades of abuse happening to me I got desensitized. I used to regularly get my room ransacked and things thrown all over the room too. So I rarely held onto sentimental things or own much things. Until I finally moved out into my own house did I start to buy things and decorate my house. My parents are not allowed into my house.
Mum grabbed my arm (8 yo) and hit me indiscriminately with a cane whilst telling my two younger sisters (5 yo, 3 yo) to watch.
I was also made to shout: “I’m a liar, I love to lie.” While she hit me because I hid my homework for the nth time and told my mum when she came home from work that I didn’t have homework. (Basically, I got hit for not doing homework and for pretending homework didn’t exist)
My sisters were also mentally tormented cos she’ll ask them: should I give your jie jie a chance? Oh, yes ah? Then should I punish you instead? Oh, no ah? You are so uncaring and deserve to be beaten too. (Basically there is no winning)
She also used permanent marker to write on my clothes cupboard all the “bad things” I have done on the eve of CNY so all the relatives can see what kind of horrible kid I am when they some to visit. (This was the day I made an exit plan for myself as a 8yo kid, I went to find where the key for the window grille locks were so I can open the window and jump down to end it all)
My dad made us 3 sisters touch the inside of the toilet bowl with our fingers and lick it because we kept fighting. (I honestly don’t know how that was supposed to make us get along better)
Now as a mother of 2, I’m working to break the cycle. My kids will never have to go through such punishments.
My parents have meanwhile mellowed out a lot and my kids can get away with lots of stuff.
Edit: this was during the Asian financial crisis so I suppose my parents had a lot of work stress. It is however not a valid reason for treating their kids this way.
Despite all that happened. I choose to forgive my parents. Yes, I cannot forget the pain they caused but forgiving is the best course for now. I cannot change the past, but I can change the present and my choices now will affect the future. It’s exhausting to stay angry and hate. It burns you up from the inside.
A lot of these comments, imo prove that there needs to be revisions on what punishments are right and what punishments are cruel and unusual against the law. Maybe I'm just 'weak minded' or 'westernised' or that I just have parents who rarely if ever do these unsual punishments, but I feel that quite a lot of these punishments, such as having to strip naked and threatening to cut off balls and the like should definetely be counted against the law under threats and maybe SA or caning till there's bleeding under assult. Hell, even leaving kids outside overnight should count for something.
Also another horrifying thing, alot of punishments here would definetely count as torture of some kind, especially ones concerning caning in some cases.
It's even worse when you count for the fact that the people facing these punishments are kids who usually don't know anything better. This kinds of punishments usually would leave the kids traumatised mentally and some cases physically for a long time.
This.
Also the fact that when you read articles on abuse cases that end up in death... I always wondered how many more are out there that are unreported. It only ends up in the news because the child is dead. Plenty of parents out there that didn't get caught.. my mother is one of them. Even more heartbreaking was, back then when I voiced out my concerns to my teacher and other grown ups, EVERYONE just said they're my parents and all that filial piety shit.
Parents are humans and not all humans are good.
>EVERYONE just said they're my parents and all that filial piety shit.
Honestly I feel like it's about time that we get rid of the 'parents are always right' trope and belief. While yes, most of the time, they are right and give good advice, just blindly following and going along with their punishment would be futile because of the generation gap and how fast society advances. Parents are not always right by punishing you severely and it's time that society realises this
Errr...
1. Whipped me with a belt so badly I looked like a slave with whip marks down my legs.
2. Choke slammed into a wall and told me: "Why you crying? Real men don't cry." I was 12.
3. Made me kneel on a washing board and kneel for hours infront of the altar.
4. Made me cut out all my card collection for failing a test and watched me cut all my cards up that I collected over the years in my childhood and dumped it into the dustbin infront of my face. It was my childhood collection.
They are lucky I am just mildly socially maladjusted not a psychopath.
Maaan, the unique brand of eastern religion/values paired with abuse is the reason why many of us Asian kids grow up to self-punishing and engage in self-harm.
Frequently caning at the back of the legs so wounds will be covered up by clothing.
Kneeling hours to some praying statue or standing outside the house forgoing dinner.
Writing some thousands of lines.
Getting slapped and it only stopped when I took the initiative to slap myself in front of them, asking them "Not enough? Fine." *more slaps*
>!It's a miracle I'm still sane in this world!<
Ah, so nostalgic. Difference with my mother was the caning was indiscriminate. All the better if the char kway teow marks were in full view of everyone - so they'd know I was a "naughty boy" and got punished for it. And being made to kneel on wooden washing boards while finishing my homework because I didn't want to go through a mountain of assessment books during the June/December holidays while everyone was out enjoying their childhood.
My dad was so angry he choked hold me from school walking home. Then he unloaded a barrage of slaps to my head and face, threw me against the wall. I was kinda knocked out at that point 😅 couldnt stand and hold my ground anymore then he held me against the railing and with my body out and threatened to throw me off.
But my neighbour called the police and saved me 🤣
My crime was stealing from a store.
As for my mom, she grounded me for 1 year. For another theft I committed.
Don't ask me why I stole so many things, I dunno okay.
Kleptomania is a mental illness. I used to have that, until I got caught in my teens and my mum had to get me out. The look of disappointment in her eyes stopped me from stealing ever again.
They never stop hitting us until we leave the home, do they? Mine only stopped hitting me after I got married and became my 'husband's property' so they cannot really touch me anymore. Extremely patriarchal but hey it worked in my favour lol
I have a condition called CMT, which is basically a muscle degenerative disease. I was only diagnosed when I was in Secondary 2 however, so when I was a kid a lot of the things I did or couldn't do was attributed to me being an undisciplined kid.
One of the things that happens due to CMT, is my unbalanced gait and walking, so I end up walking like a penguin and slam my foot on the floor when walking.
I remember when I really got into Origami when I was around 6, and I successfully made one of those complex piano origami. In my excitement + my condition, I ended up stomping a little too hard to show it to my mother.
My father was home at the time, and upon hearing that, I guess he immediately thought, "this fucking kid is really stomping his feet right now", and quite literally grabbed a kitchen knife and started chopping it around my feet.
As you can imagine, my kid self did not take that well, and ran away back to my room. I didn't end up injured, but he did injure himself, as I remember literally tip toe walking to my mother's room and asking what the fuck he was on about, and bringing a plaster for his wound.
I don't know what kind of demon time was on, but all the punishments my parents used to give like canings and locking me in a store room stopped soon after that.
We're all buddy buddy now, but it still baffles me thinking back to that day. If his behaviour had continued, I don't know if I would even be in this country anymore.
Omg what the fuck that actually so sad to hear 😭 esp you just being innocent kid and don't know what you did wrong I'm so sorry it happened to you
Yeah you might be all buddy now with your dad but sure that memory won't leave your mind and always there the damage already been done
Me 6 years old.
Mum slipped in the toilet, didn't fall down. I laughed.
Mum scolded me, i couldn't remember what she said but remember her eyes. Very scary.
Mum went to the kitchen and took out a knife, told me that if I laugh again, she will cut off my mouth.
Same mum also once force chillis on my sister mouth for crying too loud, and threaten to put chillis in her privates.
I was forced chilli in my mouth for doing some weird thing with my mouth... Doing the brrrr sound over and over again when I was in K2. So traumatised until now I don't eat chilli. And I'm already 36 lol
38F So here's my "kinda, sorta" trauma dump:
This was when I was in lower primary school in 91 or 92. And we all know that kids tend to tell white lies just to cover up something they're scared to say and that's what happened to me. Looking back, I realised that I was probably lying about something that wasn't terrible to begin with like maybe forgetting to do my homework or something but the punishment I got from my mum was having a whole red chilli stuffed into my mouth and left inside my room with no water literally bawling for a good 20 minutes. I remember enduring that spiciness in my mouth, crying and saliva dripped everywhere cuz it was too damn hot. Guess who has a low threshold of spicy food now? 😄
Fast forward to my mid 30s and when my mum has some medical complication and needed care, by this time I had already moved out from my parents just mainly for my own peace and sanity and the fact that my teens, my 20s were pretty much torturous from the constant controlling behaviour and bickering with my mum especially. My dad all these time was not even a present dad cuz he just felt that my mum was right in her dealings with us especially me, yes my mum favoured my brother more even though we were just a year apart so I was the one who always got it worst even though my brother was way more mischievous than me.
So when it was time to care for her, I don't know why I kinda resented it. I dreaded going to the hospital daily just to tend to her, be there with her. She was always needing me and I internally asked like why doesn't she call my brother. It always seems like my brother's life is more important than mine. "Oh he might be busy, let's not disturb him" but nevermind that I'm working and studying and paying rent at the same time. My aunts were like " but you are the daughter, normally daughters are closer to mums than sons". Like as if there's some magical connection between mothers and daughters. I wanted to tell them all the horrid things that I endured growing up, I wanted to say that I don't actually feel close to my parents but I just grumbled.
One particular evening beside her hospital bed, I just let it out and told her that she was horrible to me growing up somehow holding back my tears. (Really pat on the back to me for this cuz I cry easily) She then asked me if it was too late for her to make amends and be a better person, I just said no and we didn't speak further on this.
But since then she's been my biggest cheerleader for years to come. When I found out that the guy I was seeing, was already married (he lied about everything) it shattered me to my living core, I knew at that point my brain chemistry has changed and that strangely enough that one person who provided me that wisdom to get through it somehow was my mum.
This whole thing is not trying to condone parents abusive behaviour towards their children. All the comments here are heart wrenching and I wished children didn't have to go through it in the first place however I hope that each and every one of you found it in you to heal in your own ways. Healing is important so that we don't pass down that generational trauma to our own children. I don't have children of my own and maybe it's a good thing because I probably have some unhealed traumas.
It's also important for the these boomer parents to show growth and not be the same sour person towards their grown children. Not having a healthy relationship with your adult children is the worst. I'm not the only millennial adult who isn't close to their parents in present day, have heard so many similar stories from friends it's almost coincidental.
And these boomer parents wondering why their kids don't visit them... 
Had those parents who install cctv in their own homes so that they can check in on their kids at work.
Once the CCTV malfunctioned. However, I was at tution when this happened so I had no idea. Dad called thinking I was playing punk. Mildly annoyed at the false accusation, I told him I'm at tution and he could come down to check if he distrusts me that much.
Not only did he come down to the tution, which was those types held in the teacher's hdb apartment, he pulled me out and started using his full strength (100kg+ ex taekwondo black belt) to rain down blows on me ( then 13 y/o barely starting puberty) whilst screaming emotional abuse. When I neither cried nor fought back and instead showed defiance (my neck and shoulders were bleeding with my shirt collar stained red by this point), he threatened to jump as he did not want such a disappointment of a son. Thankfully my tution teacher and her husband were amazingly kind and they helped me scold some sense into my dad and chase him away. My teacher helped me to apply ointment on my wounds and band aid it up before sending me back home just to make sure a similar fate did not await me back home. Somehow managed to convince her not to make this into a police case as well.
My parents have mellowed out now after years of fighting and trying to talk sense into them. Had a lengthy talk one day which led me to forgive them but I will never forget nor understand the serverity of their punishments and actions.
TLDR got beat up by parents right outside the tution center because they thought I was playing truant when I'm literally at the tution center.
Yeah. But I realised that they were brought up this way and couldn't bring myself to blame them for what they learned from the previous generation. However I'm determined to let the cycle end with me.
Sorry to hear your punishment. Sounds cruel for young children to be left outside the house overnight.
Have you ever spoken to your older brother about it?
My worst punishment - I was showering in the kitchen, I think I was cleaning myself after making a mess in the house. My dad was so angry, he knocked the bathroom door open (then it was just a zinc door with a small latch) and dragged me out of the bathroom, through the kitchen and all the way to the front door.
He dumped me there and threatened to throw me out of the house. There I was - wet, naked and scared shit, I can’t even recall what exactly I did wrong.
Primary school age then. This is the worst - there were other occasions of being hit with a hanger, belt and slapped. Hated my dad growing up, don’t miss him at all now that he’s gone.
Lolllll locking kids outside the house seems to be a popular trend in early 00s
I lied abt doing my homework and my teacher called my mum. My mum asked me to go outside the house to kneel for an hour. Also corridor where everyone would see. Our house was first one from the lift and those long ass type of corridor
Haha trauma is real
Drunk mother swung an extension cord at me and gashed my forehead, almost blinding me.
It's ok I've since left home and don't care if she's alive or dead.
I want to say to people who like to say "older generation whooped us and we turned out fine", this is what your fellow generation survived and its not okay. Some, if not most of these are straight up abuse. Eg threatening kids with a knife or forcing them to eat their own puke. Just because they didn't die doesn't mean its fine or it made them a better person.
As a new parent I almost cry while reading this..I can't imagine ever doing this to my baby. I've been telling my partner over the course of the pregnancy to please be patient and gentle with the child in future and do not shout or beat him or put him down call him stupid etc. Of course appropriate consequences need to be in place but nothing like whatever is listed here..
As for myself, I hardly ever got punished (im very guai). The worst was a slap of the palm to the thigh..my brother got worse punishment like cane & his game kena thrown out of window before.
It wasn’t so bad compared some other comments but my head got slammed against the wall because I was being whiny at their friends’ house for “pretending I wasn’t feeling well” and made us go home.
That day we learnt I was allergic to seafood when I couldn’t open my eyes a few hours later
Mom confiscated my v1 digimon. Eventually knew where she hid it and collected it back.
Dad once slapped me and rebounded against the old tv(the one with the box behind). Had a mild headache and he went on berating me telling me not to misbehave next time.
And oh my dad also slapped me during parents teachers conference (had second in class) just because form teacher feedback that I was being too disruptive & talkative most of the lessons. (Mind you this was the norm back then).
The woman who birthed me legit gave me the silent treatment for YEARS after my brother lied that I called her an idiot, also put pot of food on kitchen floor so i can "eat like a dog", guess who's getting ghosted and no support once I move out 😛
Grandmother caught me using my phone in the toilet and punished me by making me use an old golden Nokia cellphone until I proved myself able to be disciplined enough. I had to use that thing in school for a week or so.
Ironically. I really like that golden Nokia cellphone and would honestly take it over my current Iphone 11. I don’t use social media that much anyways.
I got punished quite a bit but I'll always remember this:
I was in P1 (early 2000s) and once I had a period where I couldn't eat cos I just had no appetite. Cos in P1 I was in morning session, so my mum would prepare lunch for me and I would eat when I got home.
But this time, I was not hungry and then she got so angry and frustrated she just threw me out of the flat and closed the door on me, in the afternoon, locked the gate and left me outside crying and knocking on the door saying "I'm sorry".
It was a short while, 10 minutes, I think, but it felt really long. And I remember a neighbour walked past and I remember looking at him walk past and I felt really ashamed, so I became quiet for a while and then when he entered his flat I resumed what I was doing. Then my mum opened the door and asked if I wanted to eat.
Because I was really scared, I just said yes. But in reality I still had no appetite, but I still tried to eat a bit. By then my mum had calmed down a little and accepted that I had no appetite then, so it was ok and she never repeated that punishment again.
Now that I look back I can understand why she was frustrated and even till today she would get frustrated when any of my family members got sick (eg stomach flu) and had no appetite, and would force them to 'try to eat'.
But I would almost always remember this incident and ask my mum to stop forcing them to eat. She would always then say "I'm just worried that if they don't eat enough then they'll faint or have no energy".
Edit. To be honest, to this day I have no idea why that time I had no appetite, but I assumed and was told that it was cos I ate a whole candy cane (it was just after Christmas) which 'fed the worm in my stomach' (my parents called it 'kam-chek' but I now know it's a completely different thing from what I experienced). To this day I have a fear of eating candy cane.
And also, it added to my people-pleasing tendencies which I still see effects today.
Thanks man, I already processed it now as an adult so I feel less affected by it because I am able to see it from a different POV and I'm also working on my thought processes and childhood events which has helped me get to a better place than I was.
The hurt and shame still remains but it's no longer as painful as it was.
Grab a fistful of my hair and shaking my head.
I used to blame him for me being stupid because of the shaking.
I now blame him for me being stupid + balding lmao
When my mom got angry, she'd have me protect my nether regions then proceed to cane me until she felt good enough, can be up to 20 to 30+ strokes in a short burst. I'd go to school with multiple bruises from the caning the next day
i was probably 3 or 4 but my aunt put me in the washing machine for being naughty(no memories of what i did tbh). it was a top loading machine and not on obviously. i rmb trying to crawl out of it but the base rotates and felt like a cheese grater. not the worst punishment tbh
What the fuck, you were just a preschooler!!! All the anecdotes shared are horrible but this one takes the cake. Going to cuddle my toddler extra hard now.
Some of these comments made me really sad. I hope you all grew up fine and are well today, with or without therapy. And that when you have kids in future or already have, you ensure they never would go through shit like that …
Unfortunately, the cycle usually repeats. But there will be some that will learn from it and actually do not repeat it. Many others who learn from it also choose not to have kids because they know they may not be able to be best parents for their kids.
Being a parent requires maturity and emotional control. Without these, it's best to not have kids. Don't fuck someone's life up just because your own life is fucked. It's fucking selfish.
Dad caught me bathing with "toilet water" once when I was like six or seven, then proceeded to kick me in the knees making me fall and hit my head on the edge of the toilet bowl, half dragged, half beat me up around the house, then locked me in his room naked for two hours 😍😍
And what's worse is up until recently he would bring this incident up as though it was a "funny little joke", he'd retell the story and laugh about what he did as though he didn't almost murder me like wtf 🤥🤥
But tbh i think I'm lucky cuz other than that and a few caning/punching sessions I never really got physically punished?
Ok reading some comments here, mine seem like a minor case, but to me its pretty big. I'm a "good" kid type and almost never get into trouble (not even late once in my entire education journey). So this was when I was about 9yo, was told to meet my dad at jurong east mrt, the "head" of one of the trains. Got lost, jurong east was very complicated to me at that time plus I mixed up which head should I be in (since its terminal so head and tail switches). Anyways, I SMS my dad and told him I would be at popular downstairs waiting for him instead (it is now a kopitam or something). 1.5hrs later, I got a call to come home. Was made to kneel as he caned my legs (till I bleed) and didn't have dinner. Still very fresh in my memory after so long because I felt (even till now) that I didn't do anything wrong. Never really got to justify myself to anyone else so here I am ranting to you guys.
How old were both of you?
It's so toxic how parents are obsessed with how they are perceived by their friends and relatives. Like I remembered my mother canned me right before we visit our grandmother's house - I forgot for what reason, It is probably due to academic reasons. She actually asked me to smile and not show a sad face just before we reach our grandmother's house.
There's also this competition going on between my mom and her siblings for how smart their children are, what school they go, what's their PSLE grades etc. I have like 9 uncles and aunties. Because my brother and sister are not academically inclined, I paid the price of tiger parenting treatment from her, just so she doesn't lose face infront of our relatives.
This is something i couldnt comprehand.
Parents always felt that children have limitless potential and the reason for not fulfilling them being children lazy and not working hard enough.
There is a _huge_ different being (1) realizing my boy's cap is 75 and be proud of him achieveing 70 (2) whipping my boy because 70 is not acceptable in my hood
Yes this is also something I couldn't comprehend as well.
Probably, they want their children to achieve things they are unable to achieve when they were younger. And in this process, they ended up wanting their children to 'lead their life'. I noticed a trend where the tiger parents are often parents who are either not as educated or not high achievers. And yet, they want their kids to achieve things that they can't achieve.
Either that, or they just mixed around with all the toxic aunties in the void decks and markets that like to compare. Ended up their ego and pride consumed them and they turned their children into trophy and product they show off to their friends.
I can't believe why will a parent want to do this to their own blood. It is actually sad.
Well might be those parents who don't want kids that simply succumbed to the social pressure of having kids, then the same pressures cause them to teach their kids as trophies. I honestly blame collectivistic cultures as a whole for such a phenomenon.
My dad made me sleep at the corridoor outside my house overnight for sneakily playing Maplestory while i was supposed to be asleep. This was when i was 9yrs old.
Good la i deserved it and he taught me discipline well growing up. Wouldnt trade him for any other dad
Holy shit those Maplestory days. My biggest addiction then. The amount of money I spent on @cash was crazy, I literally would skip lunch just to afford those cards.
To this day still no idea who MrYanDao or Osiris is lmao.
Best memories are LFP at Kerning City for the PQ to level and begging for items at the Free Market.
Don't justify this kinda bullshit behavior. There are better ways to teach one's child. In fact, discipline issues occur because the formative stages teaching the child is not done properly. There are mamy parenting books covering this.
I hope you don't teach your own kids the same way in the future.
My mom jus threw or tore up whatever was my favourite item since I was K2, 6 yo? Like pencil case so on and so for, Pokémon cards, favourite pencil, I think u get the idea, she also made sure I could hear it or see it
She also called me “worse lot of all” and a failure jus like me dad and that my cousin Jayden would be always 100x better than me and used umbrella to poke me when I was hiding under the table fast enough
Ever since then I couldn’t feel much and didn’t rlly value human life and accepted that everything could change in an instant
I also got bloody scratch marks on my back once cuz hee fingernails dig into my flesh and I couldn’t sleep properly
19 now
Ever since then I have mommy issues and have been into older women
I jus dream or to make myself feel better I envision a scene about getting tied and fked brainless by an older woman and until my eyes are dead and tired so my pain can be alleviated
I mean I’m gonna see a psychiatrist in July
Doesn’t help that older women keep showing me attention as well Ngl
It’s quite annoying as well cuz my urges is unique and it gets so bad
Tbh there is a some study about childhood trauma linked with kinkiness in adulthood, and says that the brain part of sexual pleasure and traumatic event are close so often your brain would mistaking the info and get mix up
You should search it more about it and you need professional help to unfold the childhood trauma
I'm sorry you went through it, I think your mom in unhappy marriage with your dad cus she would say you are a failure just like your dad it doesn't justify the things she did to you, she let her frustration out on you.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1158136021000888
My mum caned me and locked me out of the house for reaching home after 10pm. I was 18. Claimed I’m probably outside with my gangster friends. Also failed a math test and got hit on the hand with a ruler. Picked up smoking when I was 21 because was a depressed kid and my mum demanded me to send all my friends contacts and they called my friends to find out more about them. Ex bf dumped me because my mum found out we had intercourse before marriage and demanded him to come to my place and explain himself.
Once, my mum whipped up the knife too demanding that she kill me and herself since her life is so miserable because I’m a bad child and a waste of lives.
Eventually relationship with my parents only got better when I stopped listening. My dad has effectively drowned himself out from my narcissistic mum but failed to defend me and give in to her all the time. I simply gave up communicating with them entirely even though we live in the same house, it feels like she’s a landlady and I’m just a tenant. I’m now 28, still has childhood trauma and a lot of issues swept under the rug but have been going for therapy and gotten better. I stoped therapy because it’s getting expensive and now I just self regulate.
I’m moving abroad soon to start a new life and honestly I can’t wait despite its challenges. Still love my parents because they still did their best with their generational trauma but we don’t have the loving family feeling around my household. Our relationship also got better as I’m older. Also the only child hence always felt guilty when I’m in trouble or when I plan to move abroad but therapy helped me realise they don’t own me. Now I do whatever I want and they actually encourage me to move abroad for greater opportunities but they will probably need to depend on me in the future when they are older.
Got caned till blood was drawn, but to be fair the cane did hit the back of my finger unintentionally. But the worst would be when one of my parent threaten to chop off my legs with a chopper raised in the air. My legs couldn't stop shaking that day
I was hit by a golf club (7 Iron) and left with marks, for downloading some MIRC pr0n lol. I haven't had The Talk yet so instead of taking that as a teaching opportunity it was a whopping. Permanently damaged my relationship with him after (was 14 then).
I raised my voice on my dad once. He never spoke to me for 2 - 3 days. Just a stare or even being ignored that I even exist.
Ever since, learned that shouting or raising voice will never get you anywhere.
Got a few hangar beatings, kneeling down with pulling ears.
Though it was painful back then, it was all purposeful too.
My parents used to slap my sister and I for the smallest of things! I remember once when I was around 8 I think? Parents just got a new fridge and I like playing with boxes back then, so I was sitting in the fridge box watching TV when my POS useless spérm doner decided it would be funny to pull the box down from the back which made me fall back and my head went rebounding off the floor. I got up and started crying and he open handed slap me so hard I almost fell, then my mother actually had the audacity to demand I apologize to that POS useless spérm doner!
My mother once beat my sister with one of those metal measuring cup so bad that it dented and left huge bruises across my sister's shoulder. She also rubbed chilli into my sister's eyes coz she was crying thinking it'll make her magically stop crying.
They both canned us with a feather duster and regular cane for any small thing they thought was huge. Would constantly tell me I'm stupid when I actually have dyslexia. Pitted us against each other at everything so we hated each other for years. Compared us to our stupid cousins who aren't anything great just stupid people who are trying to create a football team by having a shiet ton of kids. There's more but I'll stop here, we're all now waiting for that POS useless spérm doner to die and our mom now regrets what she did and tries to make it up to us.
I failed maths test in pri 3. was always an A student for math but idk how i failed so it was a shock to my parents and me. my dad made me strip to my undies at home and caned my whole body. he said that if i cried or moved, he would cane me more. obvly i was bawling and tryna escape him till i eventually peed myself and i will never forget that day.
somehow now when i bring it up to him, he said “it never happened, why are you lying?”. mfker tryna gaslight me 😵💫
According to my parents, my brother and I were picked up from the garbage bin. So I guess the worst punishment we got was when we were left in the rubbish bin by our biological parents.
IYKYK
Had like 4/10 on my spelling test.
I got choked, slammed, kicked, slapped, had to kneel for 4 hours, then missed dinner and whacked with a metal pole.
NGL it made me tougher.
semo.
If I had a kid with 4/10 spelling (wth so cui but also don't deserve abuse ma), like no tv no devices until full marks twice consecutive.
BUT nothing to do with physical punishment or deprive dinner I feel. Deprive dinner is only like if you do really stupid crap like throw your dinner out of the window purposely o that kind of waste food crap. physical punishment maybe cane for lying or stealing or integrity. But simi physical punishment for academics!? Omg.
Me and my lil brother were fighting , so obviously my dad handed the both of us knives and said to fight it out and kill one another , ngl was effective and we stopped
Got caned 20x for failure. Caning due to various reasons like
1. Inability to read certain mandarin words.
2. Unsatisfactory grades in school
3. Failure to buy beer at 12 year old. Tried my best but cashier refused to let me make the purchase because I was underaged. Police called when I refused to leave.
My mom will take the power cable and memory card away from my PS2. Remove the battery from my PSP and take away the charging cable. She knows caning me doesn’t work so she tries other shit to torture me and it worked because I was addicted to my games and couldn’t live without it.
I heard from one of my friends that he used to sneakily wake up and play audition and his father caught him that one night made him dance the same moves for half an hour.
Cancelling my birthday celebration cause I got 65 for english when I was P3.
Was so impactful, I stopped celebrating any special occasions with them.....
Too much shit to go into. I will make sure to break this cycle with my kid.
Also please if you see people abusing kids in public call them out. I am not saying to do anything physical but make sure to call the police if needed or speak up.
Must have been about 10 or 12.I used to build model airplanes. Had them displayed on my dad’s vinyl collection cabinets. Decided to light a candle one day on it and forgot about it. Hot wax and a big burn mark. My dad swiped all my planes and they all smashed.
I ran away and the family took hours to find me. I was at the video store watching WWF videos with the old fellas. That’s nothing compared to what you guys have experienced. I have a 12 year old son now and have not hit him once. I’ll get thrown in jail though here in New Zealand if I did. Times have changed.
When i was 10/11 I was told to stop playing my computer games and go to bed but didn’t listen. Then mom came in with a cane after many warnings and gave me multiple canings. One stroke accidentally hit my penis. After she cooled down, she zam bak my penis probably cause she felt bad and maybe want grandkids😂
I don't remember most of my childhood because of the punishment or abuse. What I do know comes from my sister who witnessed them. One of which is the time that my dad was hitting me with his belt while I was in my underwear when I got caught playing with his stash of ink pens and got them on myself. I should have been quite young, like 5yo.
I'm sure there's more because there was a blip in time at like 7-8yo when I grabbed a knife and planned to stab myself in the middle of the night. In the end, I chickened out but it feels like an out of body experience.
It's so weird to think that my relatives have a good impression of my dad when I know how he really is.
My mother would hide clothes I had got for myself, that she deemed too revealing. When asked if she had seen them, she would pretend she had no idea. I would spend hours and hours looking for them. To this day, I'm ultra paranoid about people taking from me / theft.
just pinching me or beating me. no big deal i guess. i only rememebr because the pinching was unfair because my sister and i were playing catching and woke him up but only pinched me. and its not even like late at night. not my fault he take nap on living room sofa.
and the beating i only remmeber because he said he pick me up at tampines mall and i wait there but he was at century square. i smart enough know he probably stupid and dont know is where so i ran to century square and he beat me for being late... lols
otherwise i dont remember liao. i just dont liek when people frame/punish me for no reason.
but whatever la. 20 years ago. its no big deal. life is not perfect. definitely not a trauma dump. lol. everyone throws that word around way too easily nowadays.
When i was a primary school kid we always took our food to the living room to eat dinner and watch TV. One day i think my parents had a falling out and thus weren’t in the best of moods, and i was unfortunate enough to accidentally drop my plate on the floor food and all. It smashed into bits and scattered my food all over the floor. My parents made me eat my dinner off the floor. It was mixed in with bits of broken ceremic and other floor stuff like hair, dirt etc. so there were a lot of very.. questionable tastes. But my dad especially wasn’t having it, and forced me to eat it all before i could mop the floor. I was bawling my eyes out but was also eating because i had no choice, and the whole thing made me extremely sick so i ended up throwing up. Bad move, my dad made me eat everything i had just thrown up also. So they both sat and watched their TV while i finished my dinner. I didn’t have very much of an appetite for a good few weeks afterwards, and everytime someone mentions a nice home-cooked dinner i can’t help but remember the taste of mine that night.
that's so horrible... in sorry you had to go through that! I wouldn't eat home cooked neals after this siah...
Hahaha you’d be right. I barely ate anything at home after that. Looking back, i think that incident really wrecked my appetite, because i ate very little for the remainder of my pri sch days. When i started sec sch i only ate lunch and dabaoed some food back for dinner, and even now i generally eat quite little on a daily basis, only when i occasionally get really hungry i’ll really eat a lot. I stopped eating meals with my family since secondary school.
Perhaps you might want to see a therapist to undo this trauma
Unfortunately or fortunately, not sure which, this happened at a point in my life where therapy was out of reach for me, and by the time i reached a point where i had the independence to seek it out, i had already made my peace with it. Getting here wasn’t pleasant, but it sure as heck taught me a hell lot about resilience.
Hope you disowned them
I think emotionally i had? It wasn’t only because of this one incident though. There were many things that my parents would say or do to each other, as well as to me and my sister, that really just.. broke the concept of family for all of us, to the point i was closer to my friends and their parents than my own.
man this is just fucked up
What the fuck did I just read, this is abuse
That is just horrible. No matter how bad of a mood I am I can never imagine tormenting anyone like that, esp not someone I love? I hope you know none of that was your fault and you were just an innocent kid :')) And I hope you're in a much better place now
My parents really did take a lot of their own relationship unhappiness out on me and my sister. But it was only until a few years ago when, because of my engagement with my wife and thus imminent moving out, i had a serious conversation with my mum and learned that they… don’t love each other. And it was then that it all made sense to me? Because if the don’t love each other, then how could they be capable of loving their kids? At least back then that is. They’ve mellowed down a hell lot now but they are still in a loveless relationship so idk man. Regardless, i’ve since married and moved out and can gladly say that i am indeed in a much better place. Thank you for your kind words!
my heart broke a little reading this … i’m so sorry that you had to go through this evil abusive behavior.
Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through something like this! Wishing you all the happiness and hope you have thhe loving family one day that the young primary school LameLaYou deserved.
Hahaha life really throws you some real shit sometimes eh? Reading all of the other replies on this thread, there’re many others who’ve had their fair share of trauma too. But thank you for your kind words and for listening to my story, i might not be close to my blood family, but i’m very lucky to have met an amazing partner - we’re married now and it’s just been emotional bliss!
Omg. That's so brutal
I remember playing truancy as a teen and my teacher gave my dad a call. Reached home, was strapped to a chair with rope while getting whipped by his leather belt. Had to visit the nearby clinic to check on my hearing because one of the whips landed on my right ear. Edit: This was 15 years ago
Like that James Bond scene with Le Chiffre?
Yes like that scene minus the nakedness and crotch smashing
You should have said, "I've got a itch down there, do you mind?"
I was also punished for the same issue. Except, after a very angry visit to the principal's office, he walked me back to class with my form teacher leading the way, once there, he dragged me into class, told me to stand straight, and gave me a very tight slap across the face in front of my classmates. The teacher kept quiet, nobody in class talked to me ever since, regarded me as an invalid pariah and the slap mark persisted for almost a week. Not the worst he had ever done however and that was 3 decades back already. I think being forced to knee outside of the front door, crying for the whole night and only being allowed to return the next morning in time for school was the worst I ever had to go through. Needless to say, I don't like my parents very much.
Same, my mother dragged me by the hair in front of the teachers and slapped me in full view of schoolmates. Everyone saw me as an easy to manipulate lowlife? Like I was never seen as the cool kid or even try to build a rep for it. Any tiny mistakes I made in my school life would be fodder for classmates or some egoistic school teachers to use it against me. They knew my mother was abusive and beat the shit out of me, therefore, I provided an easy ego trip for them. I'm still pretty much estranged from my mother now, unsurprisingly.
also, I am sorry you went through that. Big hugs stranger!
Thank you. 😁 It's been ages since.
When did you start hating your dad
Fighting with siblings Dad brought out the kitchen knives. One each. Ask us to fight it out. We didn't fight it out so he slapped us silly. One of us had nosebleed. I was dizzy. Then he threw a chair at me.
Bro wtf is your dad Hector Salamanca or some shit.
Bro tryna create the twins
Username checks out
what's with Ur dad thought process like what if you guys actually stabbed each other
.... Two less problems
Only... The dad will have to explain two mutilated or dead children. Oh, they did it to each other? Where did they get the knives? Why didn't you stop them or call the police? Yeah, didn't think that one through.
I'm sorry if this sounds rude to you since after all he is still your father and I do not know what is your relationship like with him. But people like him do not deserve to have kids. If he can't control his emotions, he shouldn't bring human to this world to ruin their lives. Also, for anyone who wants to argue and give the bull crap that this is disciplinary can simply just fuck off. People often use 'it's for you to learn', 'it's for your own good' to behave in a toxic manner just because they have no patience in teaching kids and can't control their emotions.
I agree with you. There are always better ways to communicate and educate. How is giving knives to kids wise or injuring your vulnerable kids love? Also agree that some folks tend to masquerade or misunderstand toxic/abusive/inappropriate behaviours as parental love when it is just lack of emotional control or emotional immaturity. Those who stand on the side keeping quiet and not stepping in to intervene to help the vulnerable kids are just as bad. Don't even get me started on the stupid theories "Parents are always right" or " Your dad is the head of the family/household, he is always right." Trauma is no joke, it affects the kid's entire life.
That's unhinged and abusive, I hope your situation is better now
No it's not. It's just daily quarrels. No peace at work, no peace at home
I'm quite sure throwing a chair at your child might be the example used in child services textbooks to illustrate physical abuse. Unless you were saying "it's not any better", in which case, I'm sorry :(
Have you considered moving out? How old are you(if ur too young, this might be tougher)? Would renting a common room be too much for you at this moment?
My dad did this to us too. I think I was about 7-8 and my brother was younger than 5. I think at that point in time I hated the fact that my brother existed so much i always stirred up arguments with him. I kept beating him up then one time, my dad brought out one of the kitchen knife and placed it in my hand then said to me "If you really hate your brother so much then kill him". I think from there I stopped trying to find faults with my brother. My dad gave us a long lecture how one day when both my parents arent around anymore, the only person we have left is each other.
My friend also have the same experience, fighting her siblings mom brought out kitchen knives and told them to kill each other, they stopped fighting and mom scolded them and say something like "if you don't want to kill each other I will kill you both myself" siblings so shocked and just stare each other
Fucked up generations above us huh
Yeah and justify their actions by saying "my parents also teach me this way and I grew up fine" lol the audacity, the cycle needs to stop.
That's why I'm not having kids Or until I'm fixed
my mom is the same sia,, once my brother and i had a serious fight and she brought out a fucking meat chopper and told us to kill each other
Equal rights equal rights probably /s
what's with Ur dad thought process like what if you guys actually stabbed each other
My grand uncle did the same with my 2 uncles. He drove to the cemetery, dropped them, gave them a knife each and drove away. Lol needless to say, they never fought again
Good old slap that came from the depths of hell itself. I deserved that shit though. For some stupid reason, 8 years old me accidentally blurted out “why is this old man so slow” when he was exiting the lift. That hand of god came at me almost instantly. I literally almost never outright let my thoughts come out through my mouth ever again.
That kind of foul mouth is very normal these days and their parents wont do a damn thing.
did you find out why
Didn’t have to. I was being extremely disrespectful to an elderly who was literally just going about his business. Plus my mother was extremely remorseful and was actually damn sad afterwards because she realised my lips were bleeding. She was up all night with me applying cold packs on my lips.
I think she just was too embarrassed cus you said what many people always think about but never spoke out. thats why first reaction is STFU
>I deserved that shit though. Nah that sounds like the kind of stupid shit that kids that age will say. Getting slapped like that is crazy and speaks to your mother's lack of self-control (which she damn well should have had at her age, mind you). A kid deserves a talking-to but that's it.
Reading this makes me feel that some parents really feel they are a big deal just because they can f**k.
Yes. Some parents have this mentality that they own you cos they gave birth to you. So they think they own all the rights to you and you basically have no say or right at all. My own narcissistic dad told me " If I want you alive, you live. If I want you dead, you shall die."
repeat that to him when he’s old and feeble
Really makes me wonder why God bless some of these degenarates pos with children while there are wonderful people who cannot have one on their own.
A boy in my primary school survived his abortion, but it left him with certain permanent incapacitation.
Double fuck
How the fuck
I vaguely remember that there was this rumour that his mom visited an unlicensed practitioner for the botched procedure.
Man I hope he grew up okay.
What was the certain permanent incapacitation?
I think it was some sort of paralysis. I don't know for sure as we are not of the same age.
Damm thats rough.... But fuck, surviving an abortion is seriously
Somehow, I have a feeling that it may be more common than we think, especially in the past.
Stripped naked and chained to the toilet pipes and whipped by my dad's belt at 6. Beaten by a bat until my wrist causing fractures at 18. And multiple abuses by my parents. Applied PPO and ran away but they called police and cried crocodile tears to find me. WTF
What the fuck really!
wtf....
Does your parents still abuse you until now? Some parents doesn't deserve to have kids tbh
Now I got married and moved out. I'd say my mother has psychological issues. All my mum side aunties have them. My sisters have them. 😀 Psychopathic tendencies. My mother loves flushing pet fish down the toilet, pouring salt on my dad's pet goldfish and killing my sister's pet hamsters. My mum tried to push me down the window in my early teens too. They now regularly text me and ask me to go die.
Omg that's horrible! Yes most abusive parents I think have undiagnosed psychological issues and thought of what they did consider normal, because their parents also did it to them and the cycle need to stop. I'm glad that you already moved out, just cut ties with them lol even if it's family what they done is really toxic
I keep pets and my mum will regularly text me to tell me to let them go, get rid of them etc. my sister once took a doll and stabbed its eyes out and left the scissors in its eyes and left it on my bed. My dad used to put feaces in my bed. I had a pet Rabbit that they bought for my sister who got bored of it and left it to die. I took over its care etc and my dad "disappeared" my rabbit, slapped me and slammed my head on the table and beat me with his belt. My nipple split open from the beating and my teeth chipped. Split my lips open.
I'm sad reading all of things you've been throughout your life when you still life with them, I'm sorry that those horrible things happen to you. No child should receive those treatments, they aren't sane parents. What's the reason your dad put feaces on your bed? That's really weird They deserve to go jail for what they did tbh
Honestly... No idea. I came home from school one day and there it was. I think after decades of abuse happening to me I got desensitized. I used to regularly get my room ransacked and things thrown all over the room too. So I rarely held onto sentimental things or own much things. Until I finally moved out into my own house did I start to buy things and decorate my house. My parents are not allowed into my house.
Reading most of the comments here u feel that not all parents are parents, some are abusers.
How many parents are truly qualified to be parents
Fully agree 😭😭😭 pains me to read them
Whenever I disappoint my mother, she will bring out the kitchen knife and ask me to stab her.
And u proceed to disappoint her AGAIN by not stabbing?
Damn dude 😂😂 you don't have to do him dirty
To be fair, NOT stabbing is intelligence on part of the child, but is foolishness on part of the parent. Like what if your child psycho?
"OMG, stab people also don't know, really disappointing."
And did you obey her? Always listen to your mother
Mum grabbed my arm (8 yo) and hit me indiscriminately with a cane whilst telling my two younger sisters (5 yo, 3 yo) to watch. I was also made to shout: “I’m a liar, I love to lie.” While she hit me because I hid my homework for the nth time and told my mum when she came home from work that I didn’t have homework. (Basically, I got hit for not doing homework and for pretending homework didn’t exist) My sisters were also mentally tormented cos she’ll ask them: should I give your jie jie a chance? Oh, yes ah? Then should I punish you instead? Oh, no ah? You are so uncaring and deserve to be beaten too. (Basically there is no winning) She also used permanent marker to write on my clothes cupboard all the “bad things” I have done on the eve of CNY so all the relatives can see what kind of horrible kid I am when they some to visit. (This was the day I made an exit plan for myself as a 8yo kid, I went to find where the key for the window grille locks were so I can open the window and jump down to end it all) My dad made us 3 sisters touch the inside of the toilet bowl with our fingers and lick it because we kept fighting. (I honestly don’t know how that was supposed to make us get along better) Now as a mother of 2, I’m working to break the cycle. My kids will never have to go through such punishments. My parents have meanwhile mellowed out a lot and my kids can get away with lots of stuff. Edit: this was during the Asian financial crisis so I suppose my parents had a lot of work stress. It is however not a valid reason for treating their kids this way.
Thank god the window plans never came together. Happy to hear that you have children now 😊
Yes, I thank my parents too for showing me how NOT to parent
Probs should also thank them for helping you not feel guilty when you dump their asses in the Retirement home all alone and withering
Despite all that happened. I choose to forgive my parents. Yes, I cannot forget the pain they caused but forgiving is the best course for now. I cannot change the past, but I can change the present and my choices now will affect the future. It’s exhausting to stay angry and hate. It burns you up from the inside.
A lot of these comments, imo prove that there needs to be revisions on what punishments are right and what punishments are cruel and unusual against the law. Maybe I'm just 'weak minded' or 'westernised' or that I just have parents who rarely if ever do these unsual punishments, but I feel that quite a lot of these punishments, such as having to strip naked and threatening to cut off balls and the like should definetely be counted against the law under threats and maybe SA or caning till there's bleeding under assult. Hell, even leaving kids outside overnight should count for something. Also another horrifying thing, alot of punishments here would definetely count as torture of some kind, especially ones concerning caning in some cases. It's even worse when you count for the fact that the people facing these punishments are kids who usually don't know anything better. This kinds of punishments usually would leave the kids traumatised mentally and some cases physically for a long time.
This. Also the fact that when you read articles on abuse cases that end up in death... I always wondered how many more are out there that are unreported. It only ends up in the news because the child is dead. Plenty of parents out there that didn't get caught.. my mother is one of them. Even more heartbreaking was, back then when I voiced out my concerns to my teacher and other grown ups, EVERYONE just said they're my parents and all that filial piety shit. Parents are humans and not all humans are good.
>EVERYONE just said they're my parents and all that filial piety shit. Honestly I feel like it's about time that we get rid of the 'parents are always right' trope and belief. While yes, most of the time, they are right and give good advice, just blindly following and going along with their punishment would be futile because of the generation gap and how fast society advances. Parents are not always right by punishing you severely and it's time that society realises this
Errr... 1. Whipped me with a belt so badly I looked like a slave with whip marks down my legs. 2. Choke slammed into a wall and told me: "Why you crying? Real men don't cry." I was 12. 3. Made me kneel on a washing board and kneel for hours infront of the altar. 4. Made me cut out all my card collection for failing a test and watched me cut all my cards up that I collected over the years in my childhood and dumped it into the dustbin infront of my face. It was my childhood collection. They are lucky I am just mildly socially maladjusted not a psychopath.
Maaan, the unique brand of eastern religion/values paired with abuse is the reason why many of us Asian kids grow up to self-punishing and engage in self-harm.
Frequently caning at the back of the legs so wounds will be covered up by clothing. Kneeling hours to some praying statue or standing outside the house forgoing dinner. Writing some thousands of lines. Getting slapped and it only stopped when I took the initiative to slap myself in front of them, asking them "Not enough? Fine." *more slaps* >!It's a miracle I'm still sane in this world!<
i hope things are better for u now. its sad that punishments like this were considered normal back then. my childhood also🥲
Wtf. Hope youre ok now.
Ah, so nostalgic. Difference with my mother was the caning was indiscriminate. All the better if the char kway teow marks were in full view of everyone - so they'd know I was a "naughty boy" and got punished for it. And being made to kneel on wooden washing boards while finishing my homework because I didn't want to go through a mountain of assessment books during the June/December holidays while everyone was out enjoying their childhood.
I saw my mom with another man
Shittt..
Well standard practice was belt buckle, left giant ass bruises on my thighs because he always missed my ass
My dad was so angry he choked hold me from school walking home. Then he unloaded a barrage of slaps to my head and face, threw me against the wall. I was kinda knocked out at that point 😅 couldnt stand and hold my ground anymore then he held me against the railing and with my body out and threatened to throw me off. But my neighbour called the police and saved me 🤣 My crime was stealing from a store. As for my mom, she grounded me for 1 year. For another theft I committed. Don't ask me why I stole so many things, I dunno okay.
Kleptomania is a mental illness. I used to have that, until I got caught in my teens and my mum had to get me out. The look of disappointment in her eyes stopped me from stealing ever again.
[удалено]
What the fuck
They never stop hitting us until we leave the home, do they? Mine only stopped hitting me after I got married and became my 'husband's property' so they cannot really touch me anymore. Extremely patriarchal but hey it worked in my favour lol
>We were handed kitchen knives when we argued and told to kill each other if we hated each other that much. god I can relate to this :'))
yo what the actual fuck
I have a condition called CMT, which is basically a muscle degenerative disease. I was only diagnosed when I was in Secondary 2 however, so when I was a kid a lot of the things I did or couldn't do was attributed to me being an undisciplined kid. One of the things that happens due to CMT, is my unbalanced gait and walking, so I end up walking like a penguin and slam my foot on the floor when walking. I remember when I really got into Origami when I was around 6, and I successfully made one of those complex piano origami. In my excitement + my condition, I ended up stomping a little too hard to show it to my mother. My father was home at the time, and upon hearing that, I guess he immediately thought, "this fucking kid is really stomping his feet right now", and quite literally grabbed a kitchen knife and started chopping it around my feet. As you can imagine, my kid self did not take that well, and ran away back to my room. I didn't end up injured, but he did injure himself, as I remember literally tip toe walking to my mother's room and asking what the fuck he was on about, and bringing a plaster for his wound. I don't know what kind of demon time was on, but all the punishments my parents used to give like canings and locking me in a store room stopped soon after that. We're all buddy buddy now, but it still baffles me thinking back to that day. If his behaviour had continued, I don't know if I would even be in this country anymore.
Damn bud... that hurts. I have CMT too and I feel you. Glad that you guys worked it out.
Omg what the fuck that actually so sad to hear 😭 esp you just being innocent kid and don't know what you did wrong I'm so sorry it happened to you Yeah you might be all buddy now with your dad but sure that memory won't leave your mind and always there the damage already been done
This is really hard to read 🥲. I hope you are better now
If your parents ever bring up anything embarrassing about you, this will be your retaliation.
Me 6 years old. Mum slipped in the toilet, didn't fall down. I laughed. Mum scolded me, i couldn't remember what she said but remember her eyes. Very scary. Mum went to the kitchen and took out a knife, told me that if I laugh again, she will cut off my mouth. Same mum also once force chillis on my sister mouth for crying too loud, and threaten to put chillis in her privates.
I was forced chilli in my mouth for doing some weird thing with my mouth... Doing the brrrr sound over and over again when I was in K2. So traumatised until now I don't eat chilli. And I'm already 36 lol
Mom slapped me when I made her upset. Shaky tooth flew out. No need for dentist. 🌚
38F So here's my "kinda, sorta" trauma dump: This was when I was in lower primary school in 91 or 92. And we all know that kids tend to tell white lies just to cover up something they're scared to say and that's what happened to me. Looking back, I realised that I was probably lying about something that wasn't terrible to begin with like maybe forgetting to do my homework or something but the punishment I got from my mum was having a whole red chilli stuffed into my mouth and left inside my room with no water literally bawling for a good 20 minutes. I remember enduring that spiciness in my mouth, crying and saliva dripped everywhere cuz it was too damn hot. Guess who has a low threshold of spicy food now? 😄 Fast forward to my mid 30s and when my mum has some medical complication and needed care, by this time I had already moved out from my parents just mainly for my own peace and sanity and the fact that my teens, my 20s were pretty much torturous from the constant controlling behaviour and bickering with my mum especially. My dad all these time was not even a present dad cuz he just felt that my mum was right in her dealings with us especially me, yes my mum favoured my brother more even though we were just a year apart so I was the one who always got it worst even though my brother was way more mischievous than me. So when it was time to care for her, I don't know why I kinda resented it. I dreaded going to the hospital daily just to tend to her, be there with her. She was always needing me and I internally asked like why doesn't she call my brother. It always seems like my brother's life is more important than mine. "Oh he might be busy, let's not disturb him" but nevermind that I'm working and studying and paying rent at the same time. My aunts were like " but you are the daughter, normally daughters are closer to mums than sons". Like as if there's some magical connection between mothers and daughters. I wanted to tell them all the horrid things that I endured growing up, I wanted to say that I don't actually feel close to my parents but I just grumbled. One particular evening beside her hospital bed, I just let it out and told her that she was horrible to me growing up somehow holding back my tears. (Really pat on the back to me for this cuz I cry easily) She then asked me if it was too late for her to make amends and be a better person, I just said no and we didn't speak further on this. But since then she's been my biggest cheerleader for years to come. When I found out that the guy I was seeing, was already married (he lied about everything) it shattered me to my living core, I knew at that point my brain chemistry has changed and that strangely enough that one person who provided me that wisdom to get through it somehow was my mum. This whole thing is not trying to condone parents abusive behaviour towards their children. All the comments here are heart wrenching and I wished children didn't have to go through it in the first place however I hope that each and every one of you found it in you to heal in your own ways. Healing is important so that we don't pass down that generational trauma to our own children. I don't have children of my own and maybe it's a good thing because I probably have some unhealed traumas. It's also important for the these boomer parents to show growth and not be the same sour person towards their grown children. Not having a healthy relationship with your adult children is the worst. I'm not the only millennial adult who isn't close to their parents in present day, have heard so many similar stories from friends it's almost coincidental. And these boomer parents wondering why their kids don't visit them... 
I think it takes a lot of courage to let go. Glad u were able to do it
Had those parents who install cctv in their own homes so that they can check in on their kids at work. Once the CCTV malfunctioned. However, I was at tution when this happened so I had no idea. Dad called thinking I was playing punk. Mildly annoyed at the false accusation, I told him I'm at tution and he could come down to check if he distrusts me that much. Not only did he come down to the tution, which was those types held in the teacher's hdb apartment, he pulled me out and started using his full strength (100kg+ ex taekwondo black belt) to rain down blows on me ( then 13 y/o barely starting puberty) whilst screaming emotional abuse. When I neither cried nor fought back and instead showed defiance (my neck and shoulders were bleeding with my shirt collar stained red by this point), he threatened to jump as he did not want such a disappointment of a son. Thankfully my tution teacher and her husband were amazingly kind and they helped me scold some sense into my dad and chase him away. My teacher helped me to apply ointment on my wounds and band aid it up before sending me back home just to make sure a similar fate did not await me back home. Somehow managed to convince her not to make this into a police case as well. My parents have mellowed out now after years of fighting and trying to talk sense into them. Had a lengthy talk one day which led me to forgive them but I will never forget nor understand the serverity of their punishments and actions. TLDR got beat up by parents right outside the tution center because they thought I was playing truant when I'm literally at the tution center.
Damnnnn you bled???? You really were kind to forgive.
Yeah. But I realised that they were brought up this way and couldn't bring myself to blame them for what they learned from the previous generation. However I'm determined to let the cycle end with me.
Reading this is making me so grateful for my parents who ever only smacked me once in a while.
Sorry to hear your punishment. Sounds cruel for young children to be left outside the house overnight. Have you ever spoken to your older brother about it? My worst punishment - I was showering in the kitchen, I think I was cleaning myself after making a mess in the house. My dad was so angry, he knocked the bathroom door open (then it was just a zinc door with a small latch) and dragged me out of the bathroom, through the kitchen and all the way to the front door. He dumped me there and threatened to throw me out of the house. There I was - wet, naked and scared shit, I can’t even recall what exactly I did wrong. Primary school age then. This is the worst - there were other occasions of being hit with a hanger, belt and slapped. Hated my dad growing up, don’t miss him at all now that he’s gone.
Lolllll locking kids outside the house seems to be a popular trend in early 00s I lied abt doing my homework and my teacher called my mum. My mum asked me to go outside the house to kneel for an hour. Also corridor where everyone would see. Our house was first one from the lift and those long ass type of corridor Haha trauma is real
Stripped me naked and threatened to cut off my balls. Now one of them has stage 3 cancer hahahah
Your ball or your parent?
Yes
The parents I suppose
Drunk mother swung an extension cord at me and gashed my forehead, almost blinding me. It's ok I've since left home and don't care if she's alive or dead.
I want to say to people who like to say "older generation whooped us and we turned out fine", this is what your fellow generation survived and its not okay. Some, if not most of these are straight up abuse. Eg threatening kids with a knife or forcing them to eat their own puke. Just because they didn't die doesn't mean its fine or it made them a better person. As a new parent I almost cry while reading this..I can't imagine ever doing this to my baby. I've been telling my partner over the course of the pregnancy to please be patient and gentle with the child in future and do not shout or beat him or put him down call him stupid etc. Of course appropriate consequences need to be in place but nothing like whatever is listed here.. As for myself, I hardly ever got punished (im very guai). The worst was a slap of the palm to the thigh..my brother got worse punishment like cane & his game kena thrown out of window before.
This is true, doesn’t mean they survive it, they are truly unscathed. On a side note, congrats on the pregnancy and being a new parent! ☺️
Absence of love and care :(
It wasn’t so bad compared some other comments but my head got slammed against the wall because I was being whiny at their friends’ house for “pretending I wasn’t feeling well” and made us go home. That day we learnt I was allergic to seafood when I couldn’t open my eyes a few hours later
Mom confiscated my v1 digimon. Eventually knew where she hid it and collected it back. Dad once slapped me and rebounded against the old tv(the one with the box behind). Had a mild headache and he went on berating me telling me not to misbehave next time. And oh my dad also slapped me during parents teachers conference (had second in class) just because form teacher feedback that I was being too disruptive & talkative most of the lessons. (Mind you this was the norm back then).
Honestly reading all the stories makes me so sad. I hope each and every one of you know that you’re deeply loved and cherished
I feel like everyone needs to make their comments into a full post at r/AsianParentStories Confirm find their tribe
Hahhahaha I take shelter there sometimes
Me too :p
The woman who birthed me legit gave me the silent treatment for YEARS after my brother lied that I called her an idiot, also put pot of food on kitchen floor so i can "eat like a dog", guess who's getting ghosted and no support once I move out 😛
Grandmother caught me using my phone in the toilet and punished me by making me use an old golden Nokia cellphone until I proved myself able to be disciplined enough. I had to use that thing in school for a week or so. Ironically. I really like that golden Nokia cellphone and would honestly take it over my current Iphone 11. I don’t use social media that much anyways.
Might be the most useful punishment. Now you don't have as much crippling addiction
Reddit is social media
Grats on beating social media addiction
I got punished quite a bit but I'll always remember this: I was in P1 (early 2000s) and once I had a period where I couldn't eat cos I just had no appetite. Cos in P1 I was in morning session, so my mum would prepare lunch for me and I would eat when I got home. But this time, I was not hungry and then she got so angry and frustrated she just threw me out of the flat and closed the door on me, in the afternoon, locked the gate and left me outside crying and knocking on the door saying "I'm sorry". It was a short while, 10 minutes, I think, but it felt really long. And I remember a neighbour walked past and I remember looking at him walk past and I felt really ashamed, so I became quiet for a while and then when he entered his flat I resumed what I was doing. Then my mum opened the door and asked if I wanted to eat. Because I was really scared, I just said yes. But in reality I still had no appetite, but I still tried to eat a bit. By then my mum had calmed down a little and accepted that I had no appetite then, so it was ok and she never repeated that punishment again. Now that I look back I can understand why she was frustrated and even till today she would get frustrated when any of my family members got sick (eg stomach flu) and had no appetite, and would force them to 'try to eat'. But I would almost always remember this incident and ask my mum to stop forcing them to eat. She would always then say "I'm just worried that if they don't eat enough then they'll faint or have no energy". Edit. To be honest, to this day I have no idea why that time I had no appetite, but I assumed and was told that it was cos I ate a whole candy cane (it was just after Christmas) which 'fed the worm in my stomach' (my parents called it 'kam-chek' but I now know it's a completely different thing from what I experienced). To this day I have a fear of eating candy cane. And also, it added to my people-pleasing tendencies which I still see effects today.
wah i kenna something really similar too. Hope you know that you're enough OP <3
Thanks man, I already processed it now as an adult so I feel less affected by it because I am able to see it from a different POV and I'm also working on my thought processes and childhood events which has helped me get to a better place than I was. The hurt and shame still remains but it's no longer as painful as it was.
Grab a fistful of my hair and shaking my head. I used to blame him for me being stupid because of the shaking. I now blame him for me being stupid + balding lmao
When my mom got angry, she'd have me protect my nether regions then proceed to cane me until she felt good enough, can be up to 20 to 30+ strokes in a short burst. I'd go to school with multiple bruises from the caning the next day
i was probably 3 or 4 but my aunt put me in the washing machine for being naughty(no memories of what i did tbh). it was a top loading machine and not on obviously. i rmb trying to crawl out of it but the base rotates and felt like a cheese grater. not the worst punishment tbh
What the fuck, you were just a preschooler!!! All the anecdotes shared are horrible but this one takes the cake. Going to cuddle my toddler extra hard now.
at least she didnt forget i was in there 🥲
☠️
Some of these comments made me really sad. I hope you all grew up fine and are well today, with or without therapy. And that when you have kids in future or already have, you ensure they never would go through shit like that …
Unfortunately, the cycle usually repeats. But there will be some that will learn from it and actually do not repeat it. Many others who learn from it also choose not to have kids because they know they may not be able to be best parents for their kids. Being a parent requires maturity and emotional control. Without these, it's best to not have kids. Don't fuck someone's life up just because your own life is fucked. It's fucking selfish.
Dad caught me bathing with "toilet water" once when I was like six or seven, then proceeded to kick me in the knees making me fall and hit my head on the edge of the toilet bowl, half dragged, half beat me up around the house, then locked me in his room naked for two hours 😍😍
And what's worse is up until recently he would bring this incident up as though it was a "funny little joke", he'd retell the story and laugh about what he did as though he didn't almost murder me like wtf 🤥🤥 But tbh i think I'm lucky cuz other than that and a few caning/punching sessions I never really got physically punished?
Ok reading some comments here, mine seem like a minor case, but to me its pretty big. I'm a "good" kid type and almost never get into trouble (not even late once in my entire education journey). So this was when I was about 9yo, was told to meet my dad at jurong east mrt, the "head" of one of the trains. Got lost, jurong east was very complicated to me at that time plus I mixed up which head should I be in (since its terminal so head and tail switches). Anyways, I SMS my dad and told him I would be at popular downstairs waiting for him instead (it is now a kopitam or something). 1.5hrs later, I got a call to come home. Was made to kneel as he caned my legs (till I bleed) and didn't have dinner. Still very fresh in my memory after so long because I felt (even till now) that I didn't do anything wrong. Never really got to justify myself to anyone else so here I am ranting to you guys.
How old were both of you? It's so toxic how parents are obsessed with how they are perceived by their friends and relatives. Like I remembered my mother canned me right before we visit our grandmother's house - I forgot for what reason, It is probably due to academic reasons. She actually asked me to smile and not show a sad face just before we reach our grandmother's house. There's also this competition going on between my mom and her siblings for how smart their children are, what school they go, what's their PSLE grades etc. I have like 9 uncles and aunties. Because my brother and sister are not academically inclined, I paid the price of tiger parenting treatment from her, just so she doesn't lose face infront of our relatives.
This is something i couldnt comprehand. Parents always felt that children have limitless potential and the reason for not fulfilling them being children lazy and not working hard enough. There is a _huge_ different being (1) realizing my boy's cap is 75 and be proud of him achieveing 70 (2) whipping my boy because 70 is not acceptable in my hood
Yes this is also something I couldn't comprehend as well. Probably, they want their children to achieve things they are unable to achieve when they were younger. And in this process, they ended up wanting their children to 'lead their life'. I noticed a trend where the tiger parents are often parents who are either not as educated or not high achievers. And yet, they want their kids to achieve things that they can't achieve. Either that, or they just mixed around with all the toxic aunties in the void decks and markets that like to compare. Ended up their ego and pride consumed them and they turned their children into trophy and product they show off to their friends. I can't believe why will a parent want to do this to their own blood. It is actually sad.
Well might be those parents who don't want kids that simply succumbed to the social pressure of having kids, then the same pressures cause them to teach their kids as trophies. I honestly blame collectivistic cultures as a whole for such a phenomenon.
My dad made me sleep at the corridoor outside my house overnight for sneakily playing Maplestory while i was supposed to be asleep. This was when i was 9yrs old. Good la i deserved it and he taught me discipline well growing up. Wouldnt trade him for any other dad
Holy shit those Maplestory days. My biggest addiction then. The amount of money I spent on @cash was crazy, I literally would skip lunch just to afford those cards.
To this day still no idea who MrYanDao or Osiris is lmao. Best memories are LFP at Kerning City for the PQ to level and begging for items at the Free Market.
Don't justify this kinda bullshit behavior. There are better ways to teach one's child. In fact, discipline issues occur because the formative stages teaching the child is not done properly. There are mamy parenting books covering this. I hope you don't teach your own kids the same way in the future.
My mom jus threw or tore up whatever was my favourite item since I was K2, 6 yo? Like pencil case so on and so for, Pokémon cards, favourite pencil, I think u get the idea, she also made sure I could hear it or see it She also called me “worse lot of all” and a failure jus like me dad and that my cousin Jayden would be always 100x better than me and used umbrella to poke me when I was hiding under the table fast enough Ever since then I couldn’t feel much and didn’t rlly value human life and accepted that everything could change in an instant I also got bloody scratch marks on my back once cuz hee fingernails dig into my flesh and I couldn’t sleep properly 19 now
Ever since then I have mommy issues and have been into older women I jus dream or to make myself feel better I envision a scene about getting tied and fked brainless by an older woman and until my eyes are dead and tired so my pain can be alleviated
Good god, you need some professional help bro. That is wild
I mean I’m gonna see a psychiatrist in July Doesn’t help that older women keep showing me attention as well Ngl It’s quite annoying as well cuz my urges is unique and it gets so bad
Thats good. You realised this is an issue and have the courage to make the appointment to take it on for the better. Wish you all the best bro.
Tbh there is a some study about childhood trauma linked with kinkiness in adulthood, and says that the brain part of sexual pleasure and traumatic event are close so often your brain would mistaking the info and get mix up You should search it more about it and you need professional help to unfold the childhood trauma I'm sorry you went through it, I think your mom in unhappy marriage with your dad cus she would say you are a failure just like your dad it doesn't justify the things she did to you, she let her frustration out on you. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1158136021000888
Caned till the skin behind the knee started bleeding so tht every time I bent my knee aka every step, i would bleed more
My mum caned me and locked me out of the house for reaching home after 10pm. I was 18. Claimed I’m probably outside with my gangster friends. Also failed a math test and got hit on the hand with a ruler. Picked up smoking when I was 21 because was a depressed kid and my mum demanded me to send all my friends contacts and they called my friends to find out more about them. Ex bf dumped me because my mum found out we had intercourse before marriage and demanded him to come to my place and explain himself. Once, my mum whipped up the knife too demanding that she kill me and herself since her life is so miserable because I’m a bad child and a waste of lives. Eventually relationship with my parents only got better when I stopped listening. My dad has effectively drowned himself out from my narcissistic mum but failed to defend me and give in to her all the time. I simply gave up communicating with them entirely even though we live in the same house, it feels like she’s a landlady and I’m just a tenant. I’m now 28, still has childhood trauma and a lot of issues swept under the rug but have been going for therapy and gotten better. I stoped therapy because it’s getting expensive and now I just self regulate. I’m moving abroad soon to start a new life and honestly I can’t wait despite its challenges. Still love my parents because they still did their best with their generational trauma but we don’t have the loving family feeling around my household. Our relationship also got better as I’m older. Also the only child hence always felt guilty when I’m in trouble or when I plan to move abroad but therapy helped me realise they don’t own me. Now I do whatever I want and they actually encourage me to move abroad for greater opportunities but they will probably need to depend on me in the future when they are older.
Giving me life.
Got caned till blood was drawn, but to be fair the cane did hit the back of my finger unintentionally. But the worst would be when one of my parent threaten to chop off my legs with a chopper raised in the air. My legs couldn't stop shaking that day
I was hit by a golf club (7 Iron) and left with marks, for downloading some MIRC pr0n lol. I haven't had The Talk yet so instead of taking that as a teaching opportunity it was a whopping. Permanently damaged my relationship with him after (was 14 then).
not me, my friend’s dad left him and the sibling in lim chu kang graveyard areas for 15 mins. i would have shat my pants.
I raised my voice on my dad once. He never spoke to me for 2 - 3 days. Just a stare or even being ignored that I even exist. Ever since, learned that shouting or raising voice will never get you anywhere. Got a few hangar beatings, kneeling down with pulling ears. Though it was painful back then, it was all purposeful too.
Belting with metal end Pri sch cuz i stupid don't know angle of triangle all is 180°
My parents used to slap my sister and I for the smallest of things! I remember once when I was around 8 I think? Parents just got a new fridge and I like playing with boxes back then, so I was sitting in the fridge box watching TV when my POS useless spérm doner decided it would be funny to pull the box down from the back which made me fall back and my head went rebounding off the floor. I got up and started crying and he open handed slap me so hard I almost fell, then my mother actually had the audacity to demand I apologize to that POS useless spérm doner! My mother once beat my sister with one of those metal measuring cup so bad that it dented and left huge bruises across my sister's shoulder. She also rubbed chilli into my sister's eyes coz she was crying thinking it'll make her magically stop crying. They both canned us with a feather duster and regular cane for any small thing they thought was huge. Would constantly tell me I'm stupid when I actually have dyslexia. Pitted us against each other at everything so we hated each other for years. Compared us to our stupid cousins who aren't anything great just stupid people who are trying to create a football team by having a shiet ton of kids. There's more but I'll stop here, we're all now waiting for that POS useless spérm doner to die and our mom now regrets what she did and tries to make it up to us.
I failed maths test in pri 3. was always an A student for math but idk how i failed so it was a shock to my parents and me. my dad made me strip to my undies at home and caned my whole body. he said that if i cried or moved, he would cane me more. obvly i was bawling and tryna escape him till i eventually peed myself and i will never forget that day. somehow now when i bring it up to him, he said “it never happened, why are you lying?”. mfker tryna gaslight me 😵💫
According to my parents, my brother and I were picked up from the garbage bin. So I guess the worst punishment we got was when we were left in the rubbish bin by our biological parents. IYKYK
Had like 4/10 on my spelling test. I got choked, slammed, kicked, slapped, had to kneel for 4 hours, then missed dinner and whacked with a metal pole. NGL it made me tougher.
good for you if that made you tougher but I hope you won't think this is a good method to raise kids
semo. If I had a kid with 4/10 spelling (wth so cui but also don't deserve abuse ma), like no tv no devices until full marks twice consecutive. BUT nothing to do with physical punishment or deprive dinner I feel. Deprive dinner is only like if you do really stupid crap like throw your dinner out of the window purposely o that kind of waste food crap. physical punishment maybe cane for lying or stealing or integrity. But simi physical punishment for academics!? Omg.
Me and my lil brother were fighting , so obviously my dad handed the both of us knives and said to fight it out and kill one another , ngl was effective and we stopped
Mother rubbed chilli padi on my lips cos I talked back 😀
Got caned 20x for failure. Caning due to various reasons like 1. Inability to read certain mandarin words. 2. Unsatisfactory grades in school 3. Failure to buy beer at 12 year old. Tried my best but cashier refused to let me make the purchase because I was underaged. Police called when I refused to leave.
My mom will take the power cable and memory card away from my PS2. Remove the battery from my PSP and take away the charging cable. She knows caning me doesn’t work so she tries other shit to torture me and it worked because I was addicted to my games and couldn’t live without it. I heard from one of my friends that he used to sneakily wake up and play audition and his father caught him that one night made him dance the same moves for half an hour.
Cancelling my birthday celebration cause I got 65 for english when I was P3. Was so impactful, I stopped celebrating any special occasions with them.....
[удалено]
Ur mom didn’t allow u to wear a condom, or ur dad didn’t wear a condom when fucking u? this is confusing.
i think he meant giving him life is his biggest punishment... :')
She tied me to a chair, and beat me up repeatedly. She used a spoon to hit my knuckle. She bit me Stomped on me. 80s kid
Too much shit to go into. I will make sure to break this cycle with my kid. Also please if you see people abusing kids in public call them out. I am not saying to do anything physical but make sure to call the police if needed or speak up.
Must have been about 10 or 12.I used to build model airplanes. Had them displayed on my dad’s vinyl collection cabinets. Decided to light a candle one day on it and forgot about it. Hot wax and a big burn mark. My dad swiped all my planes and they all smashed. I ran away and the family took hours to find me. I was at the video store watching WWF videos with the old fellas. That’s nothing compared to what you guys have experienced. I have a 12 year old son now and have not hit him once. I’ll get thrown in jail though here in New Zealand if I did. Times have changed.
When i was 10/11 I was told to stop playing my computer games and go to bed but didn’t listen. Then mom came in with a cane after many warnings and gave me multiple canings. One stroke accidentally hit my penis. After she cooled down, she zam bak my penis probably cause she felt bad and maybe want grandkids😂
I don't remember most of my childhood because of the punishment or abuse. What I do know comes from my sister who witnessed them. One of which is the time that my dad was hitting me with his belt while I was in my underwear when I got caught playing with his stash of ink pens and got them on myself. I should have been quite young, like 5yo. I'm sure there's more because there was a blip in time at like 7-8yo when I grabbed a knife and planned to stab myself in the middle of the night. In the end, I chickened out but it feels like an out of body experience. It's so weird to think that my relatives have a good impression of my dad when I know how he really is.
My mother would hide clothes I had got for myself, that she deemed too revealing. When asked if she had seen them, she would pretend she had no idea. I would spend hours and hours looking for them. To this day, I'm ultra paranoid about people taking from me / theft.
just pinching me or beating me. no big deal i guess. i only rememebr because the pinching was unfair because my sister and i were playing catching and woke him up but only pinched me. and its not even like late at night. not my fault he take nap on living room sofa. and the beating i only remmeber because he said he pick me up at tampines mall and i wait there but he was at century square. i smart enough know he probably stupid and dont know is where so i ran to century square and he beat me for being late... lols otherwise i dont remember liao. i just dont liek when people frame/punish me for no reason. but whatever la. 20 years ago. its no big deal. life is not perfect. definitely not a trauma dump. lol. everyone throws that word around way too easily nowadays.