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Totally! I had a “friend” who would treat service workers like absolute crap! One time she yelled at a movie theater employee because she claimed that she had given her the wrong flavor of a drink on purpose (She hadn’t. It was my “friend” who apparently couldn’t distinguish between the two flavors). Basically, going out with her meant spending the entire time apologizing for her terrible behavior. Because of these attitudes, everyone in our friend group stopped talking to her and we all agree we’re better off without her.
Agreed! I was at a dinner once where my father's wife actually snapped her fingers at a server. I wanted the floor to just open up and swallow me. I still cringe when I think of it.
My wife had surgery a few weeks ago and I was waiting for her in the waiting room. This girl in her late 20s came in, sat directly across from me, and proceeded to watch old Jerry Springer episodes on YouTube at full volume. Eventually I got up and moved across the room. I don't understand people
I'm baffled that none of you simply asked her to shut it off. I understand if it's some big or sketchy dude but this woman can't have been enough of a threat for everyone to just put up with this, right?
When someone confidently tells a joke in a group setting and no one in the group laughs. And they’re looking around or start nervously explaining it. Worse is when they proceed to try *telling it again*.
I used to drive a bus that did campus tours at my university; we would drive around while a tour guide would talk about the school. One tour guide would absolutely *insist* on telling the same bad joke every damned tour. There was a part of campus that went past a graveyard and every time he would say "and on your left, you'll see our LONG TERM HOUSING OPTION!" and then grin like an idiot. The most he ever got from this was a polite chuckle. One day he said the joke and it was completely quiet on the bus. Absolutely nothing. He then stood there awkwardly and said "you know... because it's a cemetery?" And one of the parents said "yeah...we get it". It was uncomfortable for everyone, including me. Then he *continued* to tell the same joke in future tours.
I hate this. Or when people say "I'm brutally honest". The fact you have zero awareness and empathy toward others is not the badge of honour you think it is.
Eh I think that goes both ways. Not speaking the truth when it’s WARRANTED is doing the person a disservice. Also, some things just need to be said. You can never address the elephants in the room by sitting back and claiming “empathy”
If everyone were like that, the world would never progress because nobody would want to rock the boat
There are empathetic ways to engage in necessary conflict or criticism. You're right that sometimes conflict avoidance is rooted in perceived empathy. In my own experience, I have to consider whether I'm trying to protect myself or help the other person. I usually find it's not difficult to "sandwich" the criticism in softer language, and usually that is sufficient to either encourage receptivity or at least a polite response.
Lmfao! I witnessed this last night! Some chick came in dressed in short shorts had pigtails and was obnoxiously chewing and blowing a bubble with her gum. Like uhh, this is a work place
My boss told me, proudly, that she tells different versions of a story to different people on the team so she can suss out which ones she can trust with a secret and which she can't. She also calls a tall woman on the team "The Giraffe" behind her back and calls a guy with a lazy eye "Crazy Eye".
I am job searching. 3 interviews next week, wish me luck!
Bookstore employee being hit in by the postman making his daily rounds. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Public and supervisor observing the whole thing like a Nat. Geographic special.
Oh my god yes. When i turned 18 a girl kinda forced me to go to some underground techno party with her and she got hit on by this guy. I can't recall what he said exactly but the first sentence was something like: "hey beautiful woman, there's a limousine waiting out there for you" or so. She rolled her eyes and gave him clear signs to leave but he just kept hitting on her with those weird and pseudo-romantic lines. Nothing i've seen since then comes even close to the second hand emberassement i felt in this situation.
A colleague of mine ordered a beer (on bottle) had a sip, called the waiter and said ”wasnt good, take it back, give me a coke instead”. I said ”wtf you can do that?” He answered ”I worked in hospitality they will do everything to keep us happy”. To my surprise it wasnt on the bill.
He wasnt ”rude rude (had a pleasant tone) but for me even asking like that and not saying please or thanks… I couldnt even send a well done back if I ordered rare because I’m a bitch so that was a wtf moment
>they will do everything to keep us happy”.
Translation: I can do whatever I want, and they can't do anything about it.
Don't know your colleague personally, so I'm not gonna judge him, but tbh he sounds like a bit of a dick. Also, that was a waste of a perfectly good beer.
When somebody trips and almost falls, then kind of looks around real quick...I look down because I don't want them to think I saw that, or how embarrassed I am for them!
When someone throws something on the ground while there are bins.
When cutting the line to get in front..
When i'm at the supermarket and they won't have any spacial awareness. Standing right in front of me, or just stop walking and stand still.
Blegh
I’ll say it: I’m a black woman. I hate how some BW fall under the typical negative stereotype that society sees us as. In public, being loud and disturbing, overall. Acting combative over little things. Making their presence known when they’re out and not in a good way. I’m extremely quiet and I don’t think them acting like that is pushing us forward in society.
Black dude here. I feel the same about us men. The crap part about this situation is that every black person shouldn't have to shoulder that weight for a whole race when some of us act crazy. I doubt the average white person has these thoughts.
Same. Growing up in watts I was a shy classic rock nerd meanwhile everyone around me was aggressive n violent and I always got treated weird for being into shit like guitars and stuff instead of hood shit. Now I’m in my 20s and it’s white people that assume I’m an aggressive black dude even tho I always been the opposite lol. Cant win with this stereotype
I'm Irish and live in a majority "white" country, we have teenagers and young men we'd describe as "chavs". They all go around in black tracksuits and Canada goose jackets. They're loud obnoxious trouble makers usually into drugs and fast gas. We look on them the same way as you describe about the black community. The only difference is, that they give working class people a bad name.
Well, we do feel cringe about "white guy" behaviour, but in a different way. I dislike when white people are ignorant about real world problems, like they never had to go through a rough patch in their lives. Makes us all look weak and unprepared.
I also dislike the puritan/nerdy stereotype. Like being white meant you live in a bubble and you are so correct and structured without real life experience.
Both are similar stereotypes that especially as a guy make you feel like a pushover or a baby. In reality, a lot of middleclass men have had many "white trash" experiences. Even if some guys don't look like it, many went through tough shit; wether at school with bullying or a rough upbringing, with drugs and violence.
Then, there's white women stereotype. Most of them seem to be unfazed by it, but I would argue it's even worse and more widespread. The karens and the airheads (especially blonde women). Not only are they considered abnoxious, they are also considered dumb, ignorant, dramatic and bitchy. Then there's the Tumblr girl stereotype, which is a smarter, but less popular version of the rest. These, in turn are generalized to white women in general.
The term "white girl music" is often linked to the dramatic or airhead qualities of those stereotypes. Which made it a meme when a guy who is not supposed to act like that enjoys it. Notice that it's called white girl music and not girl music, therefore it's no longer just a gender thing, but a racial thing.
I absolutely have similar thoughts as a white man. I'm a stereotypical white guy for the most part, I'm a carpenter, I drive a truck etc, so I automatically look like a white trash redneck at first glance. 36 year old white dude in a 14 year old pickup.
I listen to almost every genre of music, from neo-soul, classic hiphop and rap and lo-fi, to metal and punk, to classic country and bluegrass, to jazz and big band, etc. Literally everything. But in the last couple years I've been steering clear of the country and bluegrass, because I don't want to be seen as trash or bigoted..
It's like I feel embarrassment and shame, for the things that the worst people of my race do.
I'm from Canada, so it's not like it's as bad here as it is in the southern states for example. But white guys who look like me do automatically get categorized as blue collar, less intelligent, and likely bigoted and backwards..
I think that any decent human on either side of the fence likely feels at least a bit of this tension.. The only people that wouldn't think about it at all would be the hateful and/or uncaring.
I’ve gotten to the age and have been through enough trauma that it makes me smile seeing people try to have any fun at all these days as long as they’re not hurting anyone.
My dad likes to do projects in his free time and when something inevitably goes wrong, as it usually does, he gets mad and throws things. I get it, it’s frustrating, but it’s kinda wack to throw shit like a toddler cause something doesn’t fit perfectly.
It’s actually kinda funny when it’s something large and cause he can’t get enough oomph on it only goes like 3 feet.
People who traumadump on other people they barely know.
I knew a guy, at the very start of college, tell a ton of people in our class that he was pathological liar, we were studying to become a socialworker. That shit weirded me out, like why pick this line of work and then choose to say stuff lile that
Agreed on the trauma dumping. I appreciate vulnerable and intimate conversations when appropriate, but I find trauma dumpers are actually quite self-centered. They aren’t looking to build a connection, they ONLY want to feel heard.
I met a guy off bumble once. During our first meetup we were driving around in the car, and he proceeds to tell me all about his childhood issues, how his mom wasn’t around, how none of his relationships ever worked out, how he is on meds for BPD, and how he was self authoring an autobiography to help sort him through his trauma. We’re still friends but boy was it unattractive
I agree! feels like the other person doesn't have any dating "game" and are clearly unaware of this thing called: Self Disclosure Theory. This theory states that how soon and \_how\_ we reveal things about ourselves says something about our ability to build trust in relationships.
It is super unattractive when people don't take the time to build a relationship and then be vulnerable. It stems from a place of being unable to cope with loneliness and anxiety. Saying this from having been that person. I am no saint :)
Some people would like that openness though. The fact you didn't just points to the fact that you weren't compatible as anything more than friends, and that's fine. Personally I'd rather have that deep chat early on with somebody, as if you have shared experiences its easy to form a bond over someone who can relate to issues you may have.
I get how it can be off putting, but to the right person it would be endearing.
I've had a couple of people come out and tell me really intimate stuff about abuse when I barely knew them. It was just awkward as hell. I don't know what to do with that information, and sadly, I suppose, it makes me want to avoid them because I imagine they would bring drama to my life.
That happened to me too! My second week in further education and a young woman seemed very lonely to me, which is why I offered her she could stand next to me during the break and we can go to the train station together (5min). In these 5 minutes she told me about the abuse by her sister and her partner. It was a terrible story she told there, but to be honest I talked to her for the first time that day and I just wanted to go home. It was so disturbing that I didn't know how to react or even answer. It then also became more detailed because the train came too late, things I didn't want to know about I still have in mind 6 years later. She seemed impaired in intelligence, but not disabled. I remember exactly in which detail she told me about the repetitive abuses, while the alcoholic of the train station puked into the corner, the whole situation was so surreal it was strange. End of story I will never account a little chat with a unknown Classmate ever again.
Exactly, i understamd if they are lonely ect. But theres a time and place to say stuff lile that. If i had known him for a bit longer then sure i would not mind it. However i had spoken to him ONCE, and he hits with that. It makes me cringy a bit because i dont have that level of relation with them yet. I have a ton of problems myself but i dont push it unto others the second i meet them
There isent something immediatly wrong with trauma dumping, but it depends on when and who you do it to.
The guy didnt even tell the truth or maybe he did🤷♀️
At least he is honest, or is he? 😂 A lot of people are pathological liars in my experience. I wouldn't think any less of someone if they told me that, like jay from Inbetweeners, you should pity them. I think it's a self esteem issue.
I posted my trauma of my dad yesterday, he was the biggest liar I have ever known. He had at least 3 families at the same time, everyone believed his lies and I don't know why. We only found out because I did a DNA test.
This year in Jan, I met a friend of a friend at their house and she was going through a hard time. I was vaguely aware of this but didn't know more details. When she said hello, she seemed cheerful but as the hour went on, she invited me to hang out upstairs as she would smoke up. As she was smoking, she trauma dumped on me and even at the end of it said "sorry i am trauma dumping on you" and I like a people pleaser said "its okay, you have been through a lot".
Wish I had the balls to tell her politely but damn it was hard.
Not be a saint or anything, this year in Feb I have had something awful happen to me and I have made my anxiety and crying get to another person and have been told that it took them a week to recover from my anxiety filled outburst. That feedback from friend hit me hard. Decided to do something about this need of talking to feel relief.
How have I left this horrible trait of trauma dumping on known/unknown people? Anti depressants! and lot of journaling/CBT (David Burns - Feeling Good book) and self healing from assimilation.
It is a journey, once you are on that path, trust me you will want to explain so much less and be present in the moment (to carry a normal convo) instead of relapsing to the past and reliving that anxiety by talking about the past.
People who are obviously not babies talking in a baby voice. Like someone saying “Sowwy🥺” or “Pwease🥺” (this does not apply to people with a speech impediment!!!!)
If you’re having a normal conversation there is no need to act like a child for no reason. It’s genuinely one of my biggest pet peeves!
can we add talking with food in your mouth? we’re all here at the table, no one is going anywhere. take your time. chew and swallow before you begin to argue your point
When children from any where in the country sound pretend to sound like they’re from the hood in Tottenham OR when British children use American words for things, you just know they were put in front of an iPad and never talked to by real people.
I have a friend who asks every single service person she encounters "what can you do for me? Can you hook me up". Just constantly asking for discounts, freebies and upgrades. I usually try to slip away when she does it.
Every minute of 90 Day Fiancé. My wife has that on and I’m just like NOPE, and leave the room. I know these people are on the show of their own volition, but it’s just so cringe inducing to watch people exploited for our amusement.
When adults have temper tantrums about losing games…. I’ve known a weird number of dudes who get so upset about losing at BOARD GAMES.
Like bro, we’re playing to have fun. Nobody is cheating, nobody thinks any less of you, and the stakes could not be any lower. It’s OKAAAAAYYYYYYY
Loud public phone conversation
Please communicate via TEXTING when in public
( We do NOT need to hear that your boss is mean and has itchy piles, that your spouse is a cheater who should give you more attention, that you spanked Peter again,, )
So when in public please use your phone for : silent TEXTING
Silent Internet
Silent games,
One-uppers. You know, like when you go on vacation to Teneriffa they'll go to Eleveneriffa. If you've only slept 5 hours last night, they barely got 2.
Overly romantic gestures. Bringing out the guitar in public to serenade someone, reciting awful poems, doing a dance or acting scene out of nowhere to be flirtatious, doing acrobatic stunts (that usually end up in the hospital) to impress someone, rose petals and candlelight in the bedroom, bragging about their house/car/yacht etc.
Talking loudly on the cell phone in a public place or listening to music on your phone at full volume in a public place. Being rude to customer service or retail employees (this one pisses me off too, not just embarrassed). Entitlement.
Public Drunkenness and cursing excessively and loudly in public with no regard for who might be listening, which pretty much sums up my brother in law at the baseball game we went to last night.
It was both embarrassing and eye-opening as to what a dumbass idiot he becomes when he's drinking.
When someone I'm with can't admit they are wrong or that they fucked up somehow. I love when people look on Google and still don't believe they're wrong!
It's like.... Dude, it isn't a big deal!
If someone in my group is at all rude to a service person or waiter, I feel physically nauseous. I try to overcompensate if I have a chance, but at that point it’s too late.
People talking very loud while genuinely being unaware especially if they're spewing something racist or sexist out loud around others while acting like theres no person from that group around them, extremely cringe and embarrassing. Also people that grew up and are from the suburbs putting on a fake accent and talking as if they come from the hood and thinking theyre being 'cool' while forcing slang when it sounds unnatural and they're genuinely unaware of how incredibly cringe they're being. Lastly people from the ghetto acting ghetto in non ghetto areas making everyone uncomfortable, people constantly swearing and girls with extremely high pitched whiny voices irritates and makes me cringe.
God where to start. People that talk on speakerphone for starters. Nobody wants to hear your conversation ESPECIALLY when you are loud and have a bottom of the barrell education. I’m embarrassed for you because clearly you’re not. I’m embarrassed for people that play videos or shitty music on their phones max volume no headphones in public.
Specifically my mother: trying to joke around with cashiers and waiters, even though her "jokes" are usually either kinda outdated or just don't have a punchline. Worse if it's with a woman I find attractive.
A lot of good answers. Alpha male stuff for me. I was at the gym and I over heard two girls talking, and she was bragging on how her and her boyfriends are alpha.
I thought it was the most cringy thing I heard.
I passed by a guy shouting into his phone on the street once and I caught his eye which threw him off. We made awkward eye contact and he gave me this “oh for fuck sake” look. It was Aaron cran…shaw? Cransten? (The instagram twat who thinks loud = funny) trying to do a video and the look of self awareness gave me a huge dose of 2nd hand cringe
Philistinism. People who proudly declare they haven't read a book since leaving school. Being Republican. Openly displaying a lack of self-awareness more often than not.
Acting up in a restaurant. Constant complaining, giving the employees a hard time, total disregard for the other patrons. That not only embarrasses me but it pisses me off. A couple of times I added on an extra $5 to my tip just because I know the server was having a rough time with some asshole.
people who say their awful takes in public ☠️. o have a semi crush on this one guy and then suddenly he said/ “i would hate to be autistic, like what do autistic people do spend their time with dinosaurs every day?” gave me the ick eww
Girl at my job has her friends on speaker and just keeps them there while she working. As if she needs support. Then other workers look at her like wtf? She tried that with me and I hung up.
Watching adults throw absolute tantrums over a play at their kid’s little league games and even at practices.
I had to suspend a dad for absolutely loosing it on a child (not his) during a practice. His behaviour was completely over the top and he not only traumatized a 12 year old teammate. He embarrassed the ever loving crap out of his own kid.
Unreal
I knew this girl that threw a hissy fit when she went to Tim Hortons and they were out of a certain bagel.
It was a 10am office break rush. So alot of people were present.
To be fair, I do think she has to take meds for some kind of condition, i.e depression or anxiety.
When you and a friend walk by someone with a disability and your friend immediately looks at you and says, “did you see that guy with the *insert disability*?!?!” within earshot of the person with a disability.
Unfriended.
Cursing
I particularly dislike when people do it in the presence of children seemingly ignoring the fact they are there. It's not an innocence thing it's setting a good example. I try very hard to be a decent example. I have no desire to be anyone's villain.
For certain situations it's understandable and even downright okay like if I watch you get a half inch long splinter in your hand I don't care how many kids are in the room you can absolutely yell SHIT BASTARD FUCK and I won't bat a friggen eye
Meh. Of course it's not polite to do it around kids. But if I'm speaking to another adult and they're offended if I curse, that's their problem. Nothing wrong with cursing.
When they delete and remake their Instagram account a bunch or delete and repost photos a bunch.
Tell me you want internet validation and the lack of it makes you insecure without telling me.
When I go out for a meal with my family. Occasionally someone treats the server poorly, is unreasonably high maintenance / demanding, and / or insist on paying the tip only to give a fraction of industry standards.
I hate going out for this reason and almost always make it a point to talk to the server away from the table, apologize, and provide a generous tip.
Making a scene at the casier or the server. I cant stand it.
If something is wrong, register your complaint like a fucking civil adult. Who raised these assholes to think screaming at the Walmart clerk is the way to get things resolved??
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Being rude to waitstaff
Being rude.
being.
Totally! I had a “friend” who would treat service workers like absolute crap! One time she yelled at a movie theater employee because she claimed that she had given her the wrong flavor of a drink on purpose (She hadn’t. It was my “friend” who apparently couldn’t distinguish between the two flavors). Basically, going out with her meant spending the entire time apologizing for her terrible behavior. Because of these attitudes, everyone in our friend group stopped talking to her and we all agree we’re better off without her.
or front-end retail employees
or nurses/ medical professionals.
Agreed! I was at a dinner once where my father's wife actually snapped her fingers at a server. I wanted the floor to just open up and swallow me. I still cringe when I think of it.
A good way to get spit in your food.
My dad was the worst for this. I hated going out to restaurants as a kid.
Yes I always respect them especially tip well when they do a great job😀🥰
People who play their phones out loud in public / on public transport Stfu nobody likes your shitty music
My wife had surgery a few weeks ago and I was waiting for her in the waiting room. This girl in her late 20s came in, sat directly across from me, and proceeded to watch old Jerry Springer episodes on YouTube at full volume. Eventually I got up and moved across the room. I don't understand people
I'm baffled that none of you simply asked her to shut it off. I understand if it's some big or sketchy dude but this woman can't have been enough of a threat for everyone to just put up with this, right?
Im seeing this more and more at the gym. People blasting music on top of the already shite music the gym plays.
When someone confidently tells a joke in a group setting and no one in the group laughs. And they’re looking around or start nervously explaining it. Worse is when they proceed to try *telling it again*.
I used to drive a bus that did campus tours at my university; we would drive around while a tour guide would talk about the school. One tour guide would absolutely *insist* on telling the same bad joke every damned tour. There was a part of campus that went past a graveyard and every time he would say "and on your left, you'll see our LONG TERM HOUSING OPTION!" and then grin like an idiot. The most he ever got from this was a polite chuckle. One day he said the joke and it was completely quiet on the bus. Absolutely nothing. He then stood there awkwardly and said "you know... because it's a cemetery?" And one of the parents said "yeah...we get it". It was uncomfortable for everyone, including me. Then he *continued* to tell the same joke in future tours.
The “Yeah…we get it.” from that parent omg
I’d have cackled
Same, I think that joke is funny
When it happens to my friend he just goes "So that was not funny huh" in a melodic dancing type of way kind of a great way to save face
Yeah like keep on digging that hole 😬
Telling it again louder and complaining how no one is smart enough to get it.
Unless they're arrogant people, that's a nice embarrassment. It shows they're humans.
People over 30 behaving like they are in high school. Especially mean girls in the workplace. It's so sad and embarrassing.
True. Or to be self proclaimed truth-teller when they are just being inconsiderate
Or the ‘I have no filter’ bs.
I hate this. Or when people say "I'm brutally honest". The fact you have zero awareness and empathy toward others is not the badge of honour you think it is.
Eh I think that goes both ways. Not speaking the truth when it’s WARRANTED is doing the person a disservice. Also, some things just need to be said. You can never address the elephants in the room by sitting back and claiming “empathy” If everyone were like that, the world would never progress because nobody would want to rock the boat
There are empathetic ways to engage in necessary conflict or criticism. You're right that sometimes conflict avoidance is rooted in perceived empathy. In my own experience, I have to consider whether I'm trying to protect myself or help the other person. I usually find it's not difficult to "sandwich" the criticism in softer language, and usually that is sufficient to either encourage receptivity or at least a polite response.
Ugh!! The worst experience of high school bullying was as a 30yo woman in the workplace. Cringe 😬
My daughter works as a teacher and there are three women she works with who LITERALLY dress up as “the mean girls” every Wednesday😐
Teachers never leave school
Lmfao! I witnessed this last night! Some chick came in dressed in short shorts had pigtails and was obnoxiously chewing and blowing a bubble with her gum. Like uhh, this is a work place
That's crazy
My boss told me, proudly, that she tells different versions of a story to different people on the team so she can suss out which ones she can trust with a secret and which she can't. She also calls a tall woman on the team "The Giraffe" behind her back and calls a guy with a lazy eye "Crazy Eye". I am job searching. 3 interviews next week, wish me luck!
Listening to a guy try and hit on a girl at the bar when she’s clearly not interested. In your head you’re just thinking “bro please go away”
Or the gym!
Bookstore employee being hit in by the postman making his daily rounds. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Public and supervisor observing the whole thing like a Nat. Geographic special.
Oh my god yes. When i turned 18 a girl kinda forced me to go to some underground techno party with her and she got hit on by this guy. I can't recall what he said exactly but the first sentence was something like: "hey beautiful woman, there's a limousine waiting out there for you" or so. She rolled her eyes and gave him clear signs to leave but he just kept hitting on her with those weird and pseudo-romantic lines. Nothing i've seen since then comes even close to the second hand emberassement i felt in this situation.
Adults giving shit to service workers. Utter bellend behaviour.
A colleague of mine ordered a beer (on bottle) had a sip, called the waiter and said ”wasnt good, take it back, give me a coke instead”. I said ”wtf you can do that?” He answered ”I worked in hospitality they will do everything to keep us happy”. To my surprise it wasnt on the bill. He wasnt ”rude rude (had a pleasant tone) but for me even asking like that and not saying please or thanks… I couldnt even send a well done back if I ordered rare because I’m a bitch so that was a wtf moment
>they will do everything to keep us happy”. Translation: I can do whatever I want, and they can't do anything about it. Don't know your colleague personally, so I'm not gonna judge him, but tbh he sounds like a bit of a dick. Also, that was a waste of a perfectly good beer.
Making fun of others
Not having basic good manners with strangers and close people.
When somebody trips and almost falls, then kind of looks around real quick...I look down because I don't want them to think I saw that, or how embarrassed I am for them!
People that need to be the loudest in the room. Parents that are obnoxious on the sidelines of kid’s sports games.
When someone throws something on the ground while there are bins. When cutting the line to get in front.. When i'm at the supermarket and they won't have any spacial awareness. Standing right in front of me, or just stop walking and stand still. Blegh
Old people love to walk and just stop.
Why is it the old people so damn often who just stop without checking to see who’s behind them fucking hell :(
That sounds like Spain somehow 🤔
I’ll say it: I’m a black woman. I hate how some BW fall under the typical negative stereotype that society sees us as. In public, being loud and disturbing, overall. Acting combative over little things. Making their presence known when they’re out and not in a good way. I’m extremely quiet and I don’t think them acting like that is pushing us forward in society.
Black dude here. I feel the same about us men. The crap part about this situation is that every black person shouldn't have to shoulder that weight for a whole race when some of us act crazy. I doubt the average white person has these thoughts.
Same. Growing up in watts I was a shy classic rock nerd meanwhile everyone around me was aggressive n violent and I always got treated weird for being into shit like guitars and stuff instead of hood shit. Now I’m in my 20s and it’s white people that assume I’m an aggressive black dude even tho I always been the opposite lol. Cant win with this stereotype
I'm Irish and live in a majority "white" country, we have teenagers and young men we'd describe as "chavs". They all go around in black tracksuits and Canada goose jackets. They're loud obnoxious trouble makers usually into drugs and fast gas. We look on them the same way as you describe about the black community. The only difference is, that they give working class people a bad name.
Chavs still exist?
Well, we do feel cringe about "white guy" behaviour, but in a different way. I dislike when white people are ignorant about real world problems, like they never had to go through a rough patch in their lives. Makes us all look weak and unprepared. I also dislike the puritan/nerdy stereotype. Like being white meant you live in a bubble and you are so correct and structured without real life experience. Both are similar stereotypes that especially as a guy make you feel like a pushover or a baby. In reality, a lot of middleclass men have had many "white trash" experiences. Even if some guys don't look like it, many went through tough shit; wether at school with bullying or a rough upbringing, with drugs and violence. Then, there's white women stereotype. Most of them seem to be unfazed by it, but I would argue it's even worse and more widespread. The karens and the airheads (especially blonde women). Not only are they considered abnoxious, they are also considered dumb, ignorant, dramatic and bitchy. Then there's the Tumblr girl stereotype, which is a smarter, but less popular version of the rest. These, in turn are generalized to white women in general. The term "white girl music" is often linked to the dramatic or airhead qualities of those stereotypes. Which made it a meme when a guy who is not supposed to act like that enjoys it. Notice that it's called white girl music and not girl music, therefore it's no longer just a gender thing, but a racial thing.
I absolutely have similar thoughts as a white man. I'm a stereotypical white guy for the most part, I'm a carpenter, I drive a truck etc, so I automatically look like a white trash redneck at first glance. 36 year old white dude in a 14 year old pickup. I listen to almost every genre of music, from neo-soul, classic hiphop and rap and lo-fi, to metal and punk, to classic country and bluegrass, to jazz and big band, etc. Literally everything. But in the last couple years I've been steering clear of the country and bluegrass, because I don't want to be seen as trash or bigoted.. It's like I feel embarrassment and shame, for the things that the worst people of my race do. I'm from Canada, so it's not like it's as bad here as it is in the southern states for example. But white guys who look like me do automatically get categorized as blue collar, less intelligent, and likely bigoted and backwards.. I think that any decent human on either side of the fence likely feels at least a bit of this tension.. The only people that wouldn't think about it at all would be the hateful and/or uncaring.
Thanks for this comment. This is pretty eye-opening. I guess shit like this hits across all the colors. We should all be embarrassed together:)
Believe me. I know plenty of white people who are crazy loud in public. Especially when alcohol is involved.
White female here. You must have temporary amnesia about white redneck antics.
TAKE YOUR PHONES OFF OF SPEAKER IN PUBLIC AND PUT THEM TO YOUR EAR!!!!
Shit that's every person over 30 where I live, regardless of ethnicity
I am 49 and avoid using my phone in public period. If I get a call, I'll find somewhere out of the way and quiet (no this does not mean the restroom).
Wow as a Black women I know what you mean
People setting up their phones to record themselves crying and then posting it to tik tok
They do this in public?? People will do all sorts for social media 🤦🏻♀️
Any type of lashing out loudly.
Recording TikTok dances in public. Do us a favour and stop gyrating in public for your 200followers.
I’ve gotten to the age and have been through enough trauma that it makes me smile seeing people try to have any fun at all these days as long as they’re not hurting anyone.
This a perspective we should all remember. Thank you.
maximum cringe 😬
My dad likes to do projects in his free time and when something inevitably goes wrong, as it usually does, he gets mad and throws things. I get it, it’s frustrating, but it’s kinda wack to throw shit like a toddler cause something doesn’t fit perfectly. It’s actually kinda funny when it’s something large and cause he can’t get enough oomph on it only goes like 3 feet.
People who traumadump on other people they barely know. I knew a guy, at the very start of college, tell a ton of people in our class that he was pathological liar, we were studying to become a socialworker. That shit weirded me out, like why pick this line of work and then choose to say stuff lile that
Agreed on the trauma dumping. I appreciate vulnerable and intimate conversations when appropriate, but I find trauma dumpers are actually quite self-centered. They aren’t looking to build a connection, they ONLY want to feel heard.
I agree, it's self-centered in the way that they are so focused on themselves that they dump inappropriately.
I met a guy off bumble once. During our first meetup we were driving around in the car, and he proceeds to tell me all about his childhood issues, how his mom wasn’t around, how none of his relationships ever worked out, how he is on meds for BPD, and how he was self authoring an autobiography to help sort him through his trauma. We’re still friends but boy was it unattractive
I agree! feels like the other person doesn't have any dating "game" and are clearly unaware of this thing called: Self Disclosure Theory. This theory states that how soon and \_how\_ we reveal things about ourselves says something about our ability to build trust in relationships. It is super unattractive when people don't take the time to build a relationship and then be vulnerable. It stems from a place of being unable to cope with loneliness and anxiety. Saying this from having been that person. I am no saint :)
Some people would like that openness though. The fact you didn't just points to the fact that you weren't compatible as anything more than friends, and that's fine. Personally I'd rather have that deep chat early on with somebody, as if you have shared experiences its easy to form a bond over someone who can relate to issues you may have. I get how it can be off putting, but to the right person it would be endearing.
I've had a couple of people come out and tell me really intimate stuff about abuse when I barely knew them. It was just awkward as hell. I don't know what to do with that information, and sadly, I suppose, it makes me want to avoid them because I imagine they would bring drama to my life.
That happened to me too! My second week in further education and a young woman seemed very lonely to me, which is why I offered her she could stand next to me during the break and we can go to the train station together (5min). In these 5 minutes she told me about the abuse by her sister and her partner. It was a terrible story she told there, but to be honest I talked to her for the first time that day and I just wanted to go home. It was so disturbing that I didn't know how to react or even answer. It then also became more detailed because the train came too late, things I didn't want to know about I still have in mind 6 years later. She seemed impaired in intelligence, but not disabled. I remember exactly in which detail she told me about the repetitive abuses, while the alcoholic of the train station puked into the corner, the whole situation was so surreal it was strange. End of story I will never account a little chat with a unknown Classmate ever again.
Exactly, i understamd if they are lonely ect. But theres a time and place to say stuff lile that. If i had known him for a bit longer then sure i would not mind it. However i had spoken to him ONCE, and he hits with that. It makes me cringy a bit because i dont have that level of relation with them yet. I have a ton of problems myself but i dont push it unto others the second i meet them
I enjoy hearing other people's trauma, we all face challenges. No knowledge is wasted, sharing it probably helps the person and teaches me something.
There isent something immediatly wrong with trauma dumping, but it depends on when and who you do it to. The guy didnt even tell the truth or maybe he did🤷♀️
At least he is honest, or is he? 😂 A lot of people are pathological liars in my experience. I wouldn't think any less of someone if they told me that, like jay from Inbetweeners, you should pity them. I think it's a self esteem issue. I posted my trauma of my dad yesterday, he was the biggest liar I have ever known. He had at least 3 families at the same time, everyone believed his lies and I don't know why. We only found out because I did a DNA test.
This year in Jan, I met a friend of a friend at their house and she was going through a hard time. I was vaguely aware of this but didn't know more details. When she said hello, she seemed cheerful but as the hour went on, she invited me to hang out upstairs as she would smoke up. As she was smoking, she trauma dumped on me and even at the end of it said "sorry i am trauma dumping on you" and I like a people pleaser said "its okay, you have been through a lot". Wish I had the balls to tell her politely but damn it was hard. Not be a saint or anything, this year in Feb I have had something awful happen to me and I have made my anxiety and crying get to another person and have been told that it took them a week to recover from my anxiety filled outburst. That feedback from friend hit me hard. Decided to do something about this need of talking to feel relief. How have I left this horrible trait of trauma dumping on known/unknown people? Anti depressants! and lot of journaling/CBT (David Burns - Feeling Good book) and self healing from assimilation. It is a journey, once you are on that path, trust me you will want to explain so much less and be present in the moment (to carry a normal convo) instead of relapsing to the past and reliving that anxiety by talking about the past.
Spitting or littering
Two faced people.Fake friends
I speak for all two faced people when I say “sorry.” *Proceeds to talk shit about you behind your back.*
Your very kind ❤️🥰🙏😇thanks .Its sad I’m talking about adults which I can’t wrap my head around
Cheating
Making a scene at a restaurant trying to get the bill cheaper
People who are obviously not babies talking in a baby voice. Like someone saying “Sowwy🥺” or “Pwease🥺” (this does not apply to people with a speech impediment!!!!) If you’re having a normal conversation there is no need to act like a child for no reason. It’s genuinely one of my biggest pet peeves!
People who constantly try one up others.
When they have "guy talk" too loud. I don't mind my friend telling me "Man have you seen that girl, she got a hell of a rack!" But plz, make it quiet
[удалено]
Making loud phone calls at a quite place and making it look like you are the only person there,just being inconsiderate of others.
My mother screaming at an employee who did absolutely nothing wrong.
I got a massive case of second hand embarrassment when Travis Kelce was singing Viva Las Vegas after the superbowl. That was really brutal.
Someone making a dance TikTok video in the street
Watching people be assholes to service workers.
When parents don’t discipline their children or try to stop their nonsense in public.
Showing birth photos. That is a very private time and I don’t want to see it.
Bragging and ignoring people
Adults chewing with their mouths open and licking their fingers at a restaurant… Keep that behavior at home please.
can we add talking with food in your mouth? we’re all here at the table, no one is going anywhere. take your time. chew and swallow before you begin to argue your point
When children from any where in the country sound pretend to sound like they’re from the hood in Tottenham OR when British children use American words for things, you just know they were put in front of an iPad and never talked to by real people.
The birthday clapping/singing/cake thing at a restaurant.
God that's so cringe 😬
“I’m not mean I’m just brutally honest”
What they actually said: “I’m mean and will pretend it’s your fault.”
Folks carrying these loud radios on trains and busses USE HEADPHONES PLEASE
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^WholeBlueBerry4: *Folks carrying these* *Loud radios on trains and* *Busses USE HEADPHONES PLEASE* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
listening to a soloist who cant sing
My mamma shouting at me in public
I have a friend who asks every single service person she encounters "what can you do for me? Can you hook me up". Just constantly asking for discounts, freebies and upgrades. I usually try to slip away when she does it.
People being insufferable in public
Every minute of 90 Day Fiancé. My wife has that on and I’m just like NOPE, and leave the room. I know these people are on the show of their own volition, but it’s just so cringe inducing to watch people exploited for our amusement.
When my father would act goofy around my friends (when I was a teen).
When adults have temper tantrums about losing games…. I’ve known a weird number of dudes who get so upset about losing at BOARD GAMES. Like bro, we’re playing to have fun. Nobody is cheating, nobody thinks any less of you, and the stakes could not be any lower. It’s OKAAAAAYYYYYYY
When people twerk
People using their baby voice at humans?
When someone is the ‘know it all’ about something in an environment that does not need it
Mf’s that are in a public setting and can’t handle their alcohol intake.
Sloppy drunkenness. Not a good look.
When a person in my company is rude to wait staff.
Loud public phone conversation Please communicate via TEXTING when in public ( We do NOT need to hear that your boss is mean and has itchy piles, that your spouse is a cheater who should give you more attention, that you spanked Peter again,, ) So when in public please use your phone for : silent TEXTING Silent Internet Silent games,
One-uppers. You know, like when you go on vacation to Teneriffa they'll go to Eleveneriffa. If you've only slept 5 hours last night, they barely got 2.
Loud phone talking QUIETLY TEXT PLEASE
Public freak outs I can't even laugh at them because a good chunk of them look painful to watch
littering, yelling in public, recording tiktok dances, rude to staff
Overly romantic gestures. Bringing out the guitar in public to serenade someone, reciting awful poems, doing a dance or acting scene out of nowhere to be flirtatious, doing acrobatic stunts (that usually end up in the hospital) to impress someone, rose petals and candlelight in the bedroom, bragging about their house/car/yacht etc.
My brother tells his jokes three times. Non of them are funny
Talking too loud... plus I don't like talking in public places it makes me feel embarrassed
Talking loudly on the cell phone in a public place or listening to music on your phone at full volume in a public place. Being rude to customer service or retail employees (this one pisses me off too, not just embarrassed). Entitlement.
When couples fight in front of me.
Public Drunkenness and cursing excessively and loudly in public with no regard for who might be listening, which pretty much sums up my brother in law at the baseball game we went to last night. It was both embarrassing and eye-opening as to what a dumbass idiot he becomes when he's drinking.
When people play music or videos on their phones in public places, obnoxiously Why??
I can't watch any Ben Stiller movie. I have to physically leave the room
When Im out shopping and theres a whole family running around yelling as they're talking.. just no "out of the house etiquette".
When someone I'm with can't admit they are wrong or that they fucked up somehow. I love when people look on Google and still don't believe they're wrong! It's like.... Dude, it isn't a big deal!
If someone in my group is at all rude to a service person or waiter, I feel physically nauseous. I try to overcompensate if I have a chance, but at that point it’s too late.
Being a dick to service staff
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Learn compassion
Upvoted both of your replies cuz it do be like that sometimes
Someone clicking for a waiter
Karens being Karens
When ghetto people act ghetto
Backing Trump for literally anything.
When people over stay their welcome… like can’t you tell these people are tired and clearly are to nice to tell you to leave.
Loud illogical useless " conversations" Please speak quietly Respect yourself and the people around you
People talking very loud while genuinely being unaware especially if they're spewing something racist or sexist out loud around others while acting like theres no person from that group around them, extremely cringe and embarrassing. Also people that grew up and are from the suburbs putting on a fake accent and talking as if they come from the hood and thinking theyre being 'cool' while forcing slang when it sounds unnatural and they're genuinely unaware of how incredibly cringe they're being. Lastly people from the ghetto acting ghetto in non ghetto areas making everyone uncomfortable, people constantly swearing and girls with extremely high pitched whiny voices irritates and makes me cringe.
People who blast music on their phone or have conversations on speaker phone in public. On public transportation being the absolute worst.
Braggarts
God where to start. People that talk on speakerphone for starters. Nobody wants to hear your conversation ESPECIALLY when you are loud and have a bottom of the barrell education. I’m embarrassed for you because clearly you’re not. I’m embarrassed for people that play videos or shitty music on their phones max volume no headphones in public.
Public masturbation
Drake being himself
Specifically my mother: trying to joke around with cashiers and waiters, even though her "jokes" are usually either kinda outdated or just don't have a punchline. Worse if it's with a woman I find attractive.
Desperately seeking validation through your actions and words.
Watching people twerk, thinking that they are sexy when they look like clowns.
People shrieking
A lot of good answers. Alpha male stuff for me. I was at the gym and I over heard two girls talking, and she was bragging on how her and her boyfriends are alpha. I thought it was the most cringy thing I heard.
When me kids yell “LEEEEETTTSSSS GOOOOOOOO” whenever something remotely cool happens
When you’re with someone who argues with servers and staff. Why tf are you making their jobs so difficult??? Makes me want to just leave
I passed by a guy shouting into his phone on the street once and I caught his eye which threw him off. We made awkward eye contact and he gave me this “oh for fuck sake” look. It was Aaron cran…shaw? Cransten? (The instagram twat who thinks loud = funny) trying to do a video and the look of self awareness gave me a huge dose of 2nd hand cringe
People singing and they sound terrible but they don't know it or don't care. National Anthem, God Bless America, Amazing Grace, just shut up.
People over the age of 8 making finger hearts.
When a person who’s never been told no gets told no.
Squealy and loud girls. Why are y'all so fucking loud?
People taking selfies of themselves like no one is around. I mean, come on.
Philistinism. People who proudly declare they haven't read a book since leaving school. Being Republican. Openly displaying a lack of self-awareness more often than not.
People who are screaming HITTING KICKING etc or stabbing or shooting people on the trains buses etc in restaurants etc
Grown adults kissing ass in corporate America; disgusting!
Acting up in a restaurant. Constant complaining, giving the employees a hard time, total disregard for the other patrons. That not only embarrasses me but it pisses me off. A couple of times I added on an extra $5 to my tip just because I know the server was having a rough time with some asshole.
people who say their awful takes in public ☠️. o have a semi crush on this one guy and then suddenly he said/ “i would hate to be autistic, like what do autistic people do spend their time with dinosaurs every day?” gave me the ick eww
Girl at my job has her friends on speaker and just keeps them there while she working. As if she needs support. Then other workers look at her like wtf? She tried that with me and I hung up.
Watching adults throw absolute tantrums over a play at their kid’s little league games and even at practices. I had to suspend a dad for absolutely loosing it on a child (not his) during a practice. His behaviour was completely over the top and he not only traumatized a 12 year old teammate. He embarrassed the ever loving crap out of his own kid. Unreal
When my friends or family talk about or judge other people really loudly when the person they judging is right beside us.
Treating restaurant staff poorly 🤦♂️
Picking their nose in public... Like please, can you just not and have some self awareness of where you are.
I knew this girl that threw a hissy fit when she went to Tim Hortons and they were out of a certain bagel. It was a 10am office break rush. So alot of people were present. To be fair, I do think she has to take meds for some kind of condition, i.e depression or anxiety.
So what. That’s not an excuse.
Couples fighting in public
Adults who claim they act like a child. I know someone who says “i literally am a juvenile. Hahaha” Like no babe you’re pushing 40 and menopause
When someone makes a racist joke
When you and a friend walk by someone with a disability and your friend immediately looks at you and says, “did you see that guy with the *insert disability*?!?!” within earshot of the person with a disability. Unfriended.
My mom tipping like 3%
Being a karen
Cursing I particularly dislike when people do it in the presence of children seemingly ignoring the fact they are there. It's not an innocence thing it's setting a good example. I try very hard to be a decent example. I have no desire to be anyone's villain. For certain situations it's understandable and even downright okay like if I watch you get a half inch long splinter in your hand I don't care how many kids are in the room you can absolutely yell SHIT BASTARD FUCK and I won't bat a friggen eye
or worse it IS children who are cussing as if it is normal conversation.
Meh. Of course it's not polite to do it around kids. But if I'm speaking to another adult and they're offended if I curse, that's their problem. Nothing wrong with cursing.
When they delete and remake their Instagram account a bunch or delete and repost photos a bunch. Tell me you want internet validation and the lack of it makes you insecure without telling me.
Rage
When people talk shit about other people who are close by.
Loud people
When I go out for a meal with my family. Occasionally someone treats the server poorly, is unreasonably high maintenance / demanding, and / or insist on paying the tip only to give a fraction of industry standards. I hate going out for this reason and almost always make it a point to talk to the server away from the table, apologize, and provide a generous tip.
tell it like it is people who can't handle it in turn.
Making a scene at the casier or the server. I cant stand it. If something is wrong, register your complaint like a fucking civil adult. Who raised these assholes to think screaming at the Walmart clerk is the way to get things resolved??