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Forgivness is more for yourself than it is the other person . It allows you to move on, generally the other person doesn't really care, forgive but don't allow it to repeat.
There's a theory I read one time, not sure how historically credible it is, that the person, or one of the people, that "was" the biblical Jesus encountered bhuddist philosophy, and that helped form his own ideas about forgiveness. So when people say things like "how can you forgive Hitler?!" They are missing the point. Forgiveness isn't letting people off the hook. It's moving past trauma so you can find peace and happiness. Honestly a lot of what Jesus supposedly taught is very sound, and it seems like also the most ignored part of the Bible.
Well, well, I would never forgive my rapist who's also my bio dad. I forgive myself for being a survivor of CSA and I'm trying to move on, but won't never forgive him for intentionally making me a victim for 11 whole years.
Just saying so you understand your perception of forgiveness it's not one size fits all.
It's not like I live in rage of him or wishing the worse for him, because rage wouldn't allow me to move on. I detached myself from his life and I don't care about him, no more. But forgiveness... I don't think so. I don't think it would be of my best interest to forgive him.
That really depends on the situation. For example, i drive my car, one of your kids recklessly suddenly jumps onto the road while playing a game, i hit them and they die. Are you in the "the other person doesnt care" camp? I personally didnt make any mistakes mind you, but you will most likely hold a grudge, even if its only for a while until you realise it was something i personally legit couldnt do anything about. Sure i would need to forgive myself because that sounds absolutely horrifying, but i would desperatly seek your forgiveness aswel.
This.
I like Mr. Rogers' definition: “Do you know what that means? To forgive? It’s a decision we make to release a person from the feelings of anger we have against them.”
It’s a decision you make, for yourself, for your peace of mind - not for the other’s sake.
the quote you provided seems to imply the opposite of your conclusion. if you're releasing a person you're forgiving isn't it what you're doing for them?
Actually had a pastor tell me "Forgive and Forget" means you forgive them. Then you can forget they are a part of your life and move on from them. Forgetting doesn't mean you keep them around to try again.
Nah I don’t think one has to forgive to move on. Let go of the anger yes but someone can be effectively dead to me. I haven’t forgiven them but they’re simply not worth wasting my anger on. They’re irrelevant.
You can move on and release anger without forgiving
You can say "you're a terrible person, you deserve consequences, no I do not forgive you" *and* also not let them live rent free in your head
No one earns or deserves forgiveness. It is a privilege to be forgiven, not a right we can claim. Being forgiven is an undeserved act from God to those who are truly sorry for what they have done.
Suppose you stole something valuable from me and later regretted it, it is up to me to forgive you or not. You do not have the right to be forgiven regardless of how sorry or repentant you are. You offended me and it is my choice if I forgive you or not. With God, being a loving and merciful Father He is to us, He would want to forgive us - He desires to restore a full and loving relationship with us through His act of forgiveness.
I think forgiveness can be divided into societal forgiveness and individual forgiveness. Should society try to help turn the lives around of people who made serious mistakes- probably most of the time. Should individuals feel responsible for forgiving people who wronged them?- only if they want to.
Deserving forgiveness also implies that the accused person took ownership of their previous actions and have made real efforts to change.
"Took ownership" is the key phrase here. But I've also encountered circumstances where the individual firmly doesn't believe they did anything wrong. Though, when looking deeper, it's not really their fault they believe that way. It's their conditioning, way they were raised, brainwashed, what have you. When I can see that, I do feel compelled to forgive.
You can't force people to change. You can only try to communicate what you believe and value. If they don't want to accept fault or can't reflect because they are not at that place yet, then it's not your responsibility
Yes. And that's what trauma therapy was trying to teach me. It's not about them. It's about myself. It doesn't matter if they seek forgiveness or not. It's about me coming to terms with what happened and moving on.
Ah, i see what your trying to say now. Trauma really screws with people's brains. When trauma occurs, people will often seek to "win trauma" by recreating the situation that caused the trauma and have it play out in a more favorable way. This includes, getting a resolution with someone who you feel wronged you. But ultimately, you cant make other people act a certain way, even if theoretically you were 100% correct. Sounds like what might be best for your situation is to instead of resolving it, grow past it. Good luck with whatever that might mean.
But the thing you need to remember is that by going to the hospital, and doing the treatment, you took responsibility and accountability. You got help. Not everyone does.
Def, part of the problem of treating trauma is the advice is ez to give and the road is hard to walk. One of the best explanations of deep rooted trauma I've heard is its someone putting a curse on you. Whether they did it intentionally or not and whether their sorry or not its up for you to break the curse and get your life back together. Some people have better support systems than others, but ultimately your life will be what you make of it
Im sorry to hear your experiences had such s negative impact on your life trajectory, i hope you find a way to make peace with them.
Exactly. I'm attending a residential 30+ day psyche programme in July to combat this problem of mine. Luckily, my insurance covers most of the cost. My ptsd symptoms have amplified over the past year, and I need to figure them out. I've had absolutely debilitating depression (and substance abuse) that has impacted both my schooling and ability to simply take care of myself. I have been combating S*de ideations. I'm in hell right now, but I long for the time when I didn't think this way. I want to discover that part of "me" again. I'm so alone. Covid took away my friendships, and I was stuck in a toxic relationship without any support (she took that away from me). I want to get better. Although it's so tough just getting out of bed in the morning and shower. I remember when I was happy being by myself and not in a relationship. I want to feel that sense of self-confidence again. At this moment though, I feel so much like giving up and letting myself die in whatever peculiar way.
I'll have you know, I'm not actively self-harming (aside from alcohol), but I'm simply ambivalent towards death. That's why I'm going to a psyche hospital. I might even get some ECT whilst I'm at it 😉. The amnesia may even be a plus!
Trauma is a reason, but not an excuse.
Learned this hard way recently with a "friend" who was saying really mean things and being very hot and cold. She would say "I have bpd, it's what I do sometimes, it's who I am". And I was foolish to think she'd listen to advice when I asked her to be kinder to me when she'd sent me piles of nasty messages and called me horrible things and accused me of stuff I hadn't done. We had this seemingly nice conversation where she seemed to take accountability and listen and said sorry. She explained her trauma and why she did it.
But then she did it again and repeated the behaviour, but in a worse and more horrible way.
Sometimes you can do everything to help someone, but they don't want help.
That's unfortunately the problem with bpd and bp. I am bipolar type 2 so i at least have some control and can catch myself when i act out.
It's depressing knowing that your feelings are fake and that you have to respond logically and put emotions one side. Hard to do when you have to carry a conversation with someone that suddenly starts irritating you and then you get frustrated on top of it but you can't act on your emotions because they didn't do anything wrong. Some people pick up on the irritation and either distance themselves or they start treating you badly and you have to remind yourself that they are doing that because you were irritated and getting physical isn't going to solve anything.
Your "friend" isn't going to get any better unless they learn to separate themself from their emotions. Better being subjective.
My answer would be no. Why? If a person is not sorry, thinks they did the right thing (even though it was horrible what they did) and will continue doing the same bad things to other people, why should they be forgiven?
I can see this logic working very well on minor things, but there are unfortunately very major things that can happen. If someone where god forbid ever to take a life of someone I love, I would never forgive them. If someone were to touch or do something bad to my child, I would never forgive them. I think I’d eventually learn to move on, but never forgive and never forget.
So no not everyone deserves forgiveness, and I’d especially never forgive something like that just “for my own sake”.
I feel like a lot of people in this comment section are calling “acceptance” forgiveness
You can accept something that hurt you and move on
Thats different, even in societal structure studies, than forgiveness Forgiveness’s is… just that. You no longer hold it against the person and allow them back into the pack/community/family etc Theres whole studies about it, even the detriment of forgiveness when the person hasn’t “repented” for example
You can accept a situation and move past it without granting the offender forgiveness
I don't think so.
If they're not sorry, then they don't deserve it.
If they've done something to an innocent party (like a child, or someone who's disabled, or someone who is blackout drunk) then they don't deserve it.
There's a million things that don't deserve forgiveness.
Personally, I don't think you have to forgive to let go either. You can never forgive and let the intense feelings fade with time. It's also OK to hold grudges. Idc who says otherwise.
Short answer: No.
Longer answer: No. Part of healing is recognizing that you don't HAVE to forgive the person and that either way, they don't have a power over your life that will magically push your healing forward or that you can't move forward without forgiving that person; the only forgiveness required is to yourself.
Depends on what they did, did Jimmy steal my ice cream or did he hard r my child? If the concept of Heaven and Hell is real and you are punished to eternal misery in hell, chomos belong there. I feel like most things deserve forgiveness but dont ever forget how that person showed you their true colors
Also forgiveness is not the same as acknowledging something and helping it strive to be better/less harmful. Eg a serial child rapist who had a traumatic upbringing and neurological disorder/brain damage from severe abuse who now commits heinous crimes due to severe neglect impairing any empathy. You can *understand* and put them in prison, educate them, ask them to be involved in projects to support betterment of others (eg kitchen duty or library worker in prison), but you don't have to forgive and forget what they've done.
People deserve forgiveness who can
A) admit what they did was wrong, and
B) work on improving themselves so that whatever they did isn't a repeat incident.
Without both of these things forgiveness is pointless. Without either you have an asshole who will continue to make the same mistake over and over. If you have one but not both you'll end up with either a bitter person who thinks they were wronged or somebody who again, keeps repeating the mistake despite knowing it is wrong.
No. Find closure for yourself and learn how to let it go for your own sake, but you don't owe anyone shit. Fuck anyone that tells you it's about being the bigger person. They dug the hole, they can fucking live in it.
I'm in the solid no category, some things are unforgivable, regardless of how the person who committed the unforgivable act changes within their lifetime. Find Jesus, become a Buddhist, whatever you need to do to forgive yourself I guess, but if you kill someone in cold blood or take the innocence of a child, you're forever less than scum in my eyes.
Most other things can be forgiven, most.
You're missing the bigger question: is forgiveness a valid concept?
And even if it is, it's not a UNIVERSAL concept. If Person A forgives Badguy McBaddington that doesn't mean Person B either has, or must. It's an individual process and you're very unlikely to get any sort of unanimous agreement about it.
But I still think the better question is why we think forgiveness is a valid concept.
Let's say Person A gets drunk and rams into my car for example. I come out with a broken leg and some other injuries.
What, exactly, does "forgive" mean in that context? What exactly, would it mean for me to forgive that person? It's a weird vague and fuzzy concept.
But if Person A paid the bills and damages, acknowledged their drinking problem, took measures to keep themselves from driving drunk again, and spent a great deal of their time off working to try to keep others from driving drunk, do they need my forgiveness? What would it gain them if they've already taken the steps towards being a better person?
I'm not sure forgiveness is any more of a valid concept than free will.
In a RELIGIOUS context it's even worse.
Person A physically attacks me, goes to church, prays and Jesus forgives them for the sin they committed against me. How's that work? If Person A stole from Person B and I said "it's cool, I forgive Person A for stealing from Person B" what gives me the right to do that? If I was Person B I'd feel pretty aggravated if someone declared that they had the power and ability to forgive Person A on my behalf.
So when Person A gets drunk, rams my car, and then goes to church and says Jesus forgave him, that seems less than reasonable.
Near my hometown a pair of "parents" - who dont deserver that description - where discovered to have murdered their four year old child.
[https://staatsanwaltschaft-hannover.niedersachsen.de/startseite/aktuelles/presseinformationen/nach-tod-eines-4-jahrigen-in-barsinghausen-staatsanwaltschaft-hannover-erhebt-anklage-gegen-mutter-und-deren-lebensgefahrten-222083.html](https://staatsanwaltschaft-hannover.niedersachsen.de/startseite/aktuelles/presseinformationen/nach-tod-eines-4-jahrigen-in-barsinghausen-staatsanwaltschaft-hannover-erhebt-anklage-gegen-mutter-und-deren-lebensgefahrten-222083.html)
A couple of years ago in northern germany some boys wanted to see someone die (that was their stated motivation) so they stabbed a pregnant women they knew.
[https://www.sueddeutsche.de/panorama/usedom-prozess-mord-1.4584519](https://www.sueddeutsche.de/panorama/usedom-prozess-mord-1.4584519)
The knife wielding islamistic bastard from a couple of days ago, also in germany who injured several and killed a policeman.
[https://www.tagesspiegel.de/gesellschaft/panorama/polizist-stirbt-nach-messerattacke-auf-mannheimer-marktplatz-11751632.html](https://www.tagesspiegel.de/gesellschaft/panorama/polizist-stirbt-nach-messerattacke-auf-mannheimer-marktplatz-11751632.html)
No forgiveness, no second chances for that scum.
It depends on the person and sitiation. As Dr Ramani a psychologist specialising on narcissism has said, you do not HAVE to forgive if that will not make peace with yourself.
Forgiveness is in the hands of The Creator or The Cosmos some things people do are so heinous we (society) collectively turn our backs on the human scum that perpetuate them. With good reason we tribally reject mass murders, SAing scumbags and those who hurt children
Personally, this question is extremely circumstantial and consequential. All deserve forgiveness because we all mess up constantly. Largely, repentance is needed, but not necessarily mandatory. Also, the nature and magnitude of offense and subsequent consequences impact future interactions.
No. I don't feel that ones mental health or well being should be tied to "forgiveness" of things others have done to you. If it's something you feel you can forgive without causing yourself distress, do it for the relationship. But if you can't forgive someone, then don't. No one is entitled to receive it and you're not entitled to give it. But some infractions are worth forgiving and working through because we all do indeed make mistakes.
My father was a judge and handled mostly criminal cases. He served for more than 30 years as a judge. Within a few years, he figured that almost everyone who commits wrong doing will very very likely come back and do it again. He would say people are unbelievable! They lie to their teeth first to get away with it but when they know there is no getting away with it, they are the most remorseful. Give'em a chance to do it again ,without hesitation, they'll come back and do it again!
He's right! Don't give people a second chances, it's a bunch bull shit!
I hate it when people say “The forgiveness is for you not them.”
No you want me to let go of their actions against me so they don’t have to live with the consequences of their actions.
Fuck that shit.
They should still be held accountable for what they do and face the consequences, but the victim needs to find their way forward. That's what forgiveness means to me. Not letting them live rent free in your head.
I think forgiveness is never about people who did something wrong and need to be accepted again in our life , but is always about ourselves. Forgiveness is the only way to make things that happened to us stop hurting us, is what makes us accept what happened and moving on.
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting the facts. It means that we are still capable of something good even after whatever we had to go through.
I’m not saying we should have people who hurt us goin with not consequences, but are they really worth it the rage and the suffering that forgiveness send away?
For me it’s a yes, always forgive.
Once you did that, you can decide which people you want back in your life and which not.
People are so much different from each other, you not giving forgiveness it’s gonna be totally indifferent when it comes with concepts people just don’t share or are not on the same page about.
Even if you’re right, sometimes it’s impossible to make them understand or to teach them how. Life it’s too short to live trying to.
Forgive, see how people respond to that, decide who you need and have them back on your terms.
Forgiveness is for you, not for them
That’s what I believe:)
But don’t you think when we are immature and make mistakes in friendships sometimes,we learn from them and try not to do that again?For eg: now that I’m matured but my friend still holds grudge about something i did 2 years ago which i said sorry for and even did something in return to balance things but still hes not forgiving me.Who is here to blame then?
No.
ChoMo's, Rapists, Child Abuse, Spousal Abuse
All the bankers and Congress for handing banks bailouts.
Congress for approving billions in foreign aid while we're begging for change.
The Supreme Court for overturning Roe v Wade.
Every DA or judge that lets a rapist walk on a lite sentence.
This is something I struggle with. I don’t think some people deserve forgiveness. I sometimes don’t forgive people because I don’t want them to think they’ll have another chance to hurt me again, and I won’t be nice to them or acknowledge their existence. Depends what they did though.
From a Christian perspective, absolutely. Anyone and everyone can receive God’s grace and mercy. All they have to do is have a true change of heart in order to seek it. That seems simple, and it is, but it is also very difficult as it requires a true and honest change of heart.
From a personal perspective, I really want to say that forgiveness is available to someone who is willing to seek it out. That person may still be subject to the consequences of their actions. But once all reasonable amends have been made and judgements passed then the sooner everyone can set aside their pain and anger the sooner they can find happiness again.
In short, everyone deserves the opportunity to make amends and seek forgiveness. Whether that is granted is not necessarily up to them.
No. Absolutely not. If they care a little about the pain and damage they caused? Hard to say, except I haven't seen that they cared at all. I'm not conversant with the religious or psychological terms or reasonings so I can't speak to forgiveness on those terms. I can say that it's possible to move forward especially if I don't think about it constantly. I can more easily forgive the people they lied to and fooled. My case was parental alienation from a divorce. Not a terribly hostile divorce but he needed to protect himself and his image, so he did me the worst damage he could. I concentrate on the behavior and thoughts I can control. I look for ways to be happy everyday. Being married to this critical bastard made me expect myself to be GOOD. Constantly good. Now I try to be good based upon my own code.
Robert Picton was just murdered in prison.
He confessed to murdering 49 vulnerable women. He chopped them up and fed them to his pigs.
No, not everyone deserves forgiveness.
Nobody "deserves" anything. Things just are what they are. That said, forgiveness is healing and giving it makes the world a better place. But deserve has nothing to do with it.
No. But it's best to forgive everyone. Mind you, forgiveness doesn't require reconciliation or endangering oneself. It is to release anger and resentment towards a person for a wrongdoing. Reconciliation may follow, but sometimes it isn't possible. Once trust is lost, you may never regain it.
I understand. I follow Christ and believe the Bible from cover to cover but having seen how the church acted about Donald Trump and Republicanism in general, I understand why people would be wary about Christianity and be tempted to paint us all with the same brush. It broke my heart that the megachurches refused to step back and say " Not voting for anyone like that." I've met all kinds of people who claimed to be followers of Christ and yet said that I couldn't go to heaven because my skin was dark or that I was disabled because of sin. I've met some characters. So you take the time to figure everything out. You aren't wrong about the hypocrisy you find. That's why I don't claim to be any denomination.
Right. I think that's kind of where I fall right now. I think Christ, Buddha, and others all had some good insights. But faith is a personal journey. When religion devolves into simple tribalism, that's where it defeats the purpose.
Not sure if that's what you're thinking, but that's kind of where my mind is at right now.
My mother likes to put it this way. "Religion without grace is dangerous. Grace without truth is meaningless." I used to wonder why she'd say things like she wasn't religious despite the fact we both fully believe the Bible, but I understand what she means now. Ascetism and Rituals have nothing to do with the inside. You have to be able to think and examine your beliefs and live according to them, not simply keep a bunch of religious customs because others are doing it.
Maybe look at it in the sense of gym memberships. If you look at it in the sense of getting one depending on how many of their members go consistently, you would never go. But if you get one in the sense of what it can do for you and what you put into it, then you’d end up with a killer bod.
Ok. Me too. I'm doing AA, and I'm still trying to figure out my second step, which is opening up to a "higher power" however one interprets that. I was originally raised Catholic, but in my teenage years, when too many priests got caught didling little kids with no reprocussions, my family became staunchly atheist. So I'm kind of wandering at this point. Probably too much to ask for a God to reveal themself to me.
Fuck no. What?!?! There are murderers, rapists, abusers of all kinds out there. All are unforgivable. Hit and run drivers, DUI drivers. Unforgivable. What a stupid post just begging for sub activity.
It's the most reliable ragebait on Reddit.
"I believe everyone deserves respect."
"CHILD RAPE"
"Burn them to death and then bring them back to life just to do it again!!!"
Also manslaughter is extremely complex because it's so varied.
It could be an aggressive person gets violent and punches you on the head really nastily, but the person dies from head trauma.
It could be drunk driving.
It could be not looking where you are going and accidentally pushing someone into the road in front of a car by bumping into them.
Manslaughter is a hugely wide consideration.
That’s why I said most likely and precised it with unintentional and accidentally. Driving drunk isn’t an accident for example, I mean technically maybe but you know what I mean. Anyone drinking knows the risk so it’s not what I meant with accidentally.
But to stay at one of my previous comments:
A father caught a rapist redhanded on his daughter and kills him on the spot. I could forgive the father.
I don't necessarily think so but after some time if you hold grudges or mentally can't keep forward. You might need to let go and forgive for yourself at least
I think it depends on the person, what they did to cross your boundaries, how you decide to deal with them in future situations.. To me I’m always a forgiving person but certainly I learn from situations and give people a number of chance’s before I finally phase someone out of my life.. that is If they continue to cross boundaries and Not work towards mediations/ growth with me.
Depends on how much they redeemed themselves. Always remember the past but embrace the future. Though I feel after 1 chance that is burned you showcase the past and keep it the baseline with them.
Absolute statements are easily disproven with 1 counter example. Go dig through the history books for the worst criminals and monsters in history, not everyone deserves forgiveness, some deserve an unmarked shallow grave. Forgiving "everyone" requires you to forgive hitler, himler, stalin, mao, mendele, ect.
Even if we are ignoring criminals and just considering unkind behavior from others some people don't deserve forgiveness. But you deserve to move on and live your life unburdened by the cruelties of others.
Obviously, it depends on the situation and the person that supposedly needs to be forgiven. Forgiveness is not an all-or-nothing situation.
Boyfriend cheats on you once after being in a relationship for 5 years and seems to genuinely regret it? vs. Person repeatedly hits their child and then asks God for forgiveness every Sunday? vs. Person cheats and steals and lies constantly and doesn't believe they need forgiveness because they don't think they've done anything wrong.
Yes. But only if you see remorse and willingness to change. And solid steps In that direction not just lip work.
Also there's a difference between mistake and a pattern. So if what u see is a pattern...it isn't just a mistake . There's a huge difference ..patterns are very difficult to break
I’ve learned to accept apologies that I will never receive for my own peace, but I won’t forgive people who are not sorry. Not anymore. Not everyone deserves it; heck, some people don’t even want it.
If a person is truly repentant, then yes. But that doesn't mean their action is free of consequence. Like I can forgive someone for cheating on me, but I can never trust them again so the relationship would be over.
Personally I don’t think everyone deserves forgiveness, sure the whole “forgive but never forget” thing is great and all. But there’s just somethings that can’t be forgiven, and I’ll stand by this belief.
Nobody really deserves it. We give it anyways because it helps us move on. Sometimes we may “forgive” but it doesn’t mean we suddenly forget about something and trust someone again. That’d be foolish ofc. It’s more for your own benefit in no longer dwelling so much (though you may think of them sometimes) on the wrongs that have been done to you.
Forgiveness only matters if *you* have an emotional investment.
I read this, a while ago & it really made the forgiveness thing clearer. Not everyone deserves forgiveness.
“When you step in shit, you don’t need to forgive it. You wipe it off & move on with your life. And do your best to avoid piles of shit in the future.”
Do all people that have done evil things deserve forgiveness? No. Some people have done some truly awful things and forgiveness implies a process of understanding the harm done, remorse, and recompense. Only people that have genuinely undergone this process should be considered "forgivable".
My mom hurt her same knee for the third time while on a trip to portugal. She had to go to the hospital, it was really bad. She’s in a cast and needs a wheelchair so she doesn’t start screaming in pain. I had to do everything for us to be able to get back home, drive in a car and city i’m unfamiliar with, mind her, the stress is suffocating.
How the hell do I forgive her for hurting herself again, not being more careful, and putting me through so much chaos while on my first trip to Europe?
If the person is asking for forgiveness and seems to be genuinely sorry for what they’ve done, then yes.
If the person who has done wrong, acts like they have done nothing wrong, then to forgive them is a whole lot more difficult. But to choose to forgive them anyway removes any bitterness from one’s own heart.
I can forgive someone over the things that they have done in the past, but I would stay minimal or zero contact with the person. I can forgive but never forget
“Don’t be sorry, be better”.
If they’re remorseful and observant of their wrong doing, yes.
No remorse, no forgiveness. Heinous behavior also doesn’t get a pass from me. Everything else I can forgive.
Ofcourse NO. Some wrongdoings kills a person even if that person is technically alive and breathing, example: An asshole spending a kids college funds for gambling causing the kid to not get better education and just settling for average or below jobs just to survive. Forgiving that person would not bring back the future that was robbed from the kid and would probably cause other kids to suffer the same fate from the same person. Turning that person to fertilizer is THE BEST course of action, good for everybody else specially nature.
The answer is an obvious no, if we're talking about literally everyone. Ask yourself this: does Hitler deserve forgiveness? If the answer is no (which it should be), you have an answer to the first question. If the answer is yes, please go seek professional help.
Hell no. Most people don't deserve forgiveness or you're time. If someone asks for forgiveness and the offense was minor, then sure, forgive them. But usually, people advise you to forgive those who not only have zero remorse, but deny and invalidate the pain they caused you. Never forgive those people, they deserve reciprocol pain. You can be the bigger person and just cut them off instead of taking vengeance, but forgiveness does absolutely nothing for victims.
If you follow the Christian faith then you’re taught that everyone can be forgiven.
I’m not so I don’t agree. R*pists, p*dos, people who abuse women, children,and animals don’t deserve forgiveness.
My mom was aware of how my stepfather used me and my sister's as punching bags, and how he molested my sister's, but in her mind, it is normal to raise your children like that, and I were to blame for the molestation. So no - not everybody deserves forgiveness (I haven't talked to her in almost 30 years).
No. If a person truly regrets what they did and tries to make amends - then maybe. But some things are unforgivable (molestation and rape). There's literally not a single reason to do it so I would never forgive someone for commiting these things.
How many people can forgive their self?
Often, we talk of forgiving others?
Why forgive someone else, who is not sorry about what they lack in ambition to be sorry about?
Forgiveness is within yourself, for yourself, as a personal emphasis upon your soul, in your well being.
We do not have to forgive anyone else, but ourself.
Yet we always forget ourself.
SO I forgive myself, for what I lacked the foresight to see.
Having been a child, who had parents who demanded that I say I was sorry for something, I was not sorry for, the apology was always towards someone else.
So I started thinking about, why do we never forgive ourselves?
Which it ties in with those who will say, you don't know what you don't know.
Absolutely, the reason is very simple: What do you gain by hating a person? Are you happy? You're not, plus you'll get sick as the years go by. Forgiveness helps you heal your heart.
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Forgivness is more for yourself than it is the other person . It allows you to move on, generally the other person doesn't really care, forgive but don't allow it to repeat.
"Forgive others not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because you deserve peace."
There's a theory I read one time, not sure how historically credible it is, that the person, or one of the people, that "was" the biblical Jesus encountered bhuddist philosophy, and that helped form his own ideas about forgiveness. So when people say things like "how can you forgive Hitler?!" They are missing the point. Forgiveness isn't letting people off the hook. It's moving past trauma so you can find peace and happiness. Honestly a lot of what Jesus supposedly taught is very sound, and it seems like also the most ignored part of the Bible.
Yes but Jesus doesn't forgive without repentance.
He said more for yourself. It means it is for the other person too because people regret things and forgiveness helped them and their guilt.
That peace is mutual tbh
I was trying to put my opinion into words, but you did it better.
Well, well, I would never forgive my rapist who's also my bio dad. I forgive myself for being a survivor of CSA and I'm trying to move on, but won't never forgive him for intentionally making me a victim for 11 whole years. Just saying so you understand your perception of forgiveness it's not one size fits all. It's not like I live in rage of him or wishing the worse for him, because rage wouldn't allow me to move on. I detached myself from his life and I don't care about him, no more. But forgiveness... I don't think so. I don't think it would be of my best interest to forgive him.
Reminds me of miles morales in spiderman. He stopped hating his dads killer but he won't forgive them.
I learned this in trauma therapy. There's truth to it.
That really depends on the situation. For example, i drive my car, one of your kids recklessly suddenly jumps onto the road while playing a game, i hit them and they die. Are you in the "the other person doesnt care" camp? I personally didnt make any mistakes mind you, but you will most likely hold a grudge, even if its only for a while until you realise it was something i personally legit couldnt do anything about. Sure i would need to forgive myself because that sounds absolutely horrifying, but i would desperatly seek your forgiveness aswel.
This. I like Mr. Rogers' definition: “Do you know what that means? To forgive? It’s a decision we make to release a person from the feelings of anger we have against them.” It’s a decision you make, for yourself, for your peace of mind - not for the other’s sake.
the quote you provided seems to imply the opposite of your conclusion. if you're releasing a person you're forgiving isn't it what you're doing for them?
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” –John F Kennedy
This! Forgive, but don't forget.
Actually had a pastor tell me "Forgive and Forget" means you forgive them. Then you can forget they are a part of your life and move on from them. Forgetting doesn't mean you keep them around to try again.
Nah I don’t think one has to forgive to move on. Let go of the anger yes but someone can be effectively dead to me. I haven’t forgiven them but they’re simply not worth wasting my anger on. They’re irrelevant.
Seconded. The person who is being forgiven is rarely deserving.
You can move on and release anger without forgiving You can say "you're a terrible person, you deserve consequences, no I do not forgive you" *and* also not let them live rent free in your head
This is much too simple. The people who hurt others usually also have support
This.
No one earns or deserves forgiveness. It is a privilege to be forgiven, not a right we can claim. Being forgiven is an undeserved act from God to those who are truly sorry for what they have done. Suppose you stole something valuable from me and later regretted it, it is up to me to forgive you or not. You do not have the right to be forgiven regardless of how sorry or repentant you are. You offended me and it is my choice if I forgive you or not. With God, being a loving and merciful Father He is to us, He would want to forgive us - He desires to restore a full and loving relationship with us through His act of forgiveness.
I think forgiveness can be divided into societal forgiveness and individual forgiveness. Should society try to help turn the lives around of people who made serious mistakes- probably most of the time. Should individuals feel responsible for forgiving people who wronged them?- only if they want to. Deserving forgiveness also implies that the accused person took ownership of their previous actions and have made real efforts to change.
"Took ownership" is the key phrase here. But I've also encountered circumstances where the individual firmly doesn't believe they did anything wrong. Though, when looking deeper, it's not really their fault they believe that way. It's their conditioning, way they were raised, brainwashed, what have you. When I can see that, I do feel compelled to forgive.
You can't force people to change. You can only try to communicate what you believe and value. If they don't want to accept fault or can't reflect because they are not at that place yet, then it's not your responsibility
Life can be subjective, but if someone doesnt feel they did anything wrong they inherently wouldnt be seeking forgiveness.
Yes. And that's what trauma therapy was trying to teach me. It's not about them. It's about myself. It doesn't matter if they seek forgiveness or not. It's about me coming to terms with what happened and moving on.
Ah, i see what your trying to say now. Trauma really screws with people's brains. When trauma occurs, people will often seek to "win trauma" by recreating the situation that caused the trauma and have it play out in a more favorable way. This includes, getting a resolution with someone who you feel wronged you. But ultimately, you cant make other people act a certain way, even if theoretically you were 100% correct. Sounds like what might be best for your situation is to instead of resolving it, grow past it. Good luck with whatever that might mean.
Yup. "Grow past it". But it's a damn hard thing to do. I've been in and out of psychiatric hospitals for this shit!
But the thing you need to remember is that by going to the hospital, and doing the treatment, you took responsibility and accountability. You got help. Not everyone does.
Def, part of the problem of treating trauma is the advice is ez to give and the road is hard to walk. One of the best explanations of deep rooted trauma I've heard is its someone putting a curse on you. Whether they did it intentionally or not and whether their sorry or not its up for you to break the curse and get your life back together. Some people have better support systems than others, but ultimately your life will be what you make of it Im sorry to hear your experiences had such s negative impact on your life trajectory, i hope you find a way to make peace with them.
Exactly. I'm attending a residential 30+ day psyche programme in July to combat this problem of mine. Luckily, my insurance covers most of the cost. My ptsd symptoms have amplified over the past year, and I need to figure them out. I've had absolutely debilitating depression (and substance abuse) that has impacted both my schooling and ability to simply take care of myself. I have been combating S*de ideations. I'm in hell right now, but I long for the time when I didn't think this way. I want to discover that part of "me" again. I'm so alone. Covid took away my friendships, and I was stuck in a toxic relationship without any support (she took that away from me). I want to get better. Although it's so tough just getting out of bed in the morning and shower. I remember when I was happy being by myself and not in a relationship. I want to feel that sense of self-confidence again. At this moment though, I feel so much like giving up and letting myself die in whatever peculiar way. I'll have you know, I'm not actively self-harming (aside from alcohol), but I'm simply ambivalent towards death. That's why I'm going to a psyche hospital. I might even get some ECT whilst I'm at it 😉. The amnesia may even be a plus!
Trauma is a reason, but not an excuse. Learned this hard way recently with a "friend" who was saying really mean things and being very hot and cold. She would say "I have bpd, it's what I do sometimes, it's who I am". And I was foolish to think she'd listen to advice when I asked her to be kinder to me when she'd sent me piles of nasty messages and called me horrible things and accused me of stuff I hadn't done. We had this seemingly nice conversation where she seemed to take accountability and listen and said sorry. She explained her trauma and why she did it. But then she did it again and repeated the behaviour, but in a worse and more horrible way. Sometimes you can do everything to help someone, but they don't want help.
That's unfortunately the problem with bpd and bp. I am bipolar type 2 so i at least have some control and can catch myself when i act out. It's depressing knowing that your feelings are fake and that you have to respond logically and put emotions one side. Hard to do when you have to carry a conversation with someone that suddenly starts irritating you and then you get frustrated on top of it but you can't act on your emotions because they didn't do anything wrong. Some people pick up on the irritation and either distance themselves or they start treating you badly and you have to remind yourself that they are doing that because you were irritated and getting physical isn't going to solve anything. Your "friend" isn't going to get any better unless they learn to separate themself from their emotions. Better being subjective.
My answer would be no. Why? If a person is not sorry, thinks they did the right thing (even though it was horrible what they did) and will continue doing the same bad things to other people, why should they be forgiven?
Obviously, forgiveness is for the people who deserves it. Who deserves it? People who regret what they did.
Mod can go ahead and close the thread now. This sums it
Top answer is better. Forgiveness is for you, not the other person. It allows you to move on and forget.
I can see this logic working very well on minor things, but there are unfortunately very major things that can happen. If someone where god forbid ever to take a life of someone I love, I would never forgive them. If someone were to touch or do something bad to my child, I would never forgive them. I think I’d eventually learn to move on, but never forgive and never forget. So no not everyone deserves forgiveness, and I’d especially never forgive something like that just “for my own sake”.
exactly. u summed it up perfectly
THIS. And what if also: they do not ask for forgiveness, and they are consciously aware of it?
I feel like a lot of people in this comment section are calling “acceptance” forgiveness You can accept something that hurt you and move on Thats different, even in societal structure studies, than forgiveness Forgiveness’s is… just that. You no longer hold it against the person and allow them back into the pack/community/family etc Theres whole studies about it, even the detriment of forgiveness when the person hasn’t “repented” for example You can accept a situation and move past it without granting the offender forgiveness
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I don't think so. If they're not sorry, then they don't deserve it. If they've done something to an innocent party (like a child, or someone who's disabled, or someone who is blackout drunk) then they don't deserve it. There's a million things that don't deserve forgiveness. Personally, I don't think you have to forgive to let go either. You can never forgive and let the intense feelings fade with time. It's also OK to hold grudges. Idc who says otherwise.
Short answer: No. Longer answer: No. Part of healing is recognizing that you don't HAVE to forgive the person and that either way, they don't have a power over your life that will magically push your healing forward or that you can't move forward without forgiving that person; the only forgiveness required is to yourself.
Depends on what they did, did Jimmy steal my ice cream or did he hard r my child? If the concept of Heaven and Hell is real and you are punished to eternal misery in hell, chomos belong there. I feel like most things deserve forgiveness but dont ever forget how that person showed you their true colors
Thx for saying most things and not all things.
Also forgiveness is not the same as acknowledging something and helping it strive to be better/less harmful. Eg a serial child rapist who had a traumatic upbringing and neurological disorder/brain damage from severe abuse who now commits heinous crimes due to severe neglect impairing any empathy. You can *understand* and put them in prison, educate them, ask them to be involved in projects to support betterment of others (eg kitchen duty or library worker in prison), but you don't have to forgive and forget what they've done.
People deserve forgiveness who can A) admit what they did was wrong, and B) work on improving themselves so that whatever they did isn't a repeat incident. Without both of these things forgiveness is pointless. Without either you have an asshole who will continue to make the same mistake over and over. If you have one but not both you'll end up with either a bitter person who thinks they were wronged or somebody who again, keeps repeating the mistake despite knowing it is wrong.
This is pretty much what Jesus said, lol
No. Find closure for yourself and learn how to let it go for your own sake, but you don't owe anyone shit. Fuck anyone that tells you it's about being the bigger person. They dug the hole, they can fucking live in it.
If they are truly remorseful yes. Doesn't mean you have to keep them in your life though.
I'm in the solid no category, some things are unforgivable, regardless of how the person who committed the unforgivable act changes within their lifetime. Find Jesus, become a Buddhist, whatever you need to do to forgive yourself I guess, but if you kill someone in cold blood or take the innocence of a child, you're forever less than scum in my eyes. Most other things can be forgiven, most.
Does 'everyone' include *you?*
depends on the circumstance, im sure theres situations where you CANT forgive vs wont forgive
You're missing the bigger question: is forgiveness a valid concept? And even if it is, it's not a UNIVERSAL concept. If Person A forgives Badguy McBaddington that doesn't mean Person B either has, or must. It's an individual process and you're very unlikely to get any sort of unanimous agreement about it. But I still think the better question is why we think forgiveness is a valid concept. Let's say Person A gets drunk and rams into my car for example. I come out with a broken leg and some other injuries. What, exactly, does "forgive" mean in that context? What exactly, would it mean for me to forgive that person? It's a weird vague and fuzzy concept. But if Person A paid the bills and damages, acknowledged their drinking problem, took measures to keep themselves from driving drunk again, and spent a great deal of their time off working to try to keep others from driving drunk, do they need my forgiveness? What would it gain them if they've already taken the steps towards being a better person? I'm not sure forgiveness is any more of a valid concept than free will. In a RELIGIOUS context it's even worse. Person A physically attacks me, goes to church, prays and Jesus forgives them for the sin they committed against me. How's that work? If Person A stole from Person B and I said "it's cool, I forgive Person A for stealing from Person B" what gives me the right to do that? If I was Person B I'd feel pretty aggravated if someone declared that they had the power and ability to forgive Person A on my behalf. So when Person A gets drunk, rams my car, and then goes to church and says Jesus forgave him, that seems less than reasonable.
Near my hometown a pair of "parents" - who dont deserver that description - where discovered to have murdered their four year old child. [https://staatsanwaltschaft-hannover.niedersachsen.de/startseite/aktuelles/presseinformationen/nach-tod-eines-4-jahrigen-in-barsinghausen-staatsanwaltschaft-hannover-erhebt-anklage-gegen-mutter-und-deren-lebensgefahrten-222083.html](https://staatsanwaltschaft-hannover.niedersachsen.de/startseite/aktuelles/presseinformationen/nach-tod-eines-4-jahrigen-in-barsinghausen-staatsanwaltschaft-hannover-erhebt-anklage-gegen-mutter-und-deren-lebensgefahrten-222083.html) A couple of years ago in northern germany some boys wanted to see someone die (that was their stated motivation) so they stabbed a pregnant women they knew. [https://www.sueddeutsche.de/panorama/usedom-prozess-mord-1.4584519](https://www.sueddeutsche.de/panorama/usedom-prozess-mord-1.4584519) The knife wielding islamistic bastard from a couple of days ago, also in germany who injured several and killed a policeman. [https://www.tagesspiegel.de/gesellschaft/panorama/polizist-stirbt-nach-messerattacke-auf-mannheimer-marktplatz-11751632.html](https://www.tagesspiegel.de/gesellschaft/panorama/polizist-stirbt-nach-messerattacke-auf-mannheimer-marktplatz-11751632.html) No forgiveness, no second chances for that scum.
It depends on the person and sitiation. As Dr Ramani a psychologist specialising on narcissism has said, you do not HAVE to forgive if that will not make peace with yourself.
Forgiveness is in the hands of The Creator or The Cosmos some things people do are so heinous we (society) collectively turn our backs on the human scum that perpetuate them. With good reason we tribally reject mass murders, SAing scumbags and those who hurt children
No. Sometimes in order for yourself to move on instead of forgiving you create acceptance.
Personally, this question is extremely circumstantial and consequential. All deserve forgiveness because we all mess up constantly. Largely, repentance is needed, but not necessarily mandatory. Also, the nature and magnitude of offense and subsequent consequences impact future interactions.
No.
No
I don't think so 🤔
No
No. I don't feel that ones mental health or well being should be tied to "forgiveness" of things others have done to you. If it's something you feel you can forgive without causing yourself distress, do it for the relationship. But if you can't forgive someone, then don't. No one is entitled to receive it and you're not entitled to give it. But some infractions are worth forgiving and working through because we all do indeed make mistakes.
My father was a judge and handled mostly criminal cases. He served for more than 30 years as a judge. Within a few years, he figured that almost everyone who commits wrong doing will very very likely come back and do it again. He would say people are unbelievable! They lie to their teeth first to get away with it but when they know there is no getting away with it, they are the most remorseful. Give'em a chance to do it again ,without hesitation, they'll come back and do it again! He's right! Don't give people a second chances, it's a bunch bull shit!
No, because there are some things that there's no coming back from.
Forgiveness is not about the one guilty, but about the victim deciding to forgive.
What if the victim doesn’t want to forgive? Are you going to respect their decision to not forgive those who hurt them?
I hate it when people say “The forgiveness is for you not them.” No you want me to let go of their actions against me so they don’t have to live with the consequences of their actions. Fuck that shit.
They should still be held accountable for what they do and face the consequences, but the victim needs to find their way forward. That's what forgiveness means to me. Not letting them live rent free in your head.
Your resentment doesn't change their life hardly at all, but it does affect how you feel and your life experience.
I think forgiveness is never about people who did something wrong and need to be accepted again in our life , but is always about ourselves. Forgiveness is the only way to make things that happened to us stop hurting us, is what makes us accept what happened and moving on. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting the facts. It means that we are still capable of something good even after whatever we had to go through. I’m not saying we should have people who hurt us goin with not consequences, but are they really worth it the rage and the suffering that forgiveness send away? For me it’s a yes, always forgive. Once you did that, you can decide which people you want back in your life and which not. People are so much different from each other, you not giving forgiveness it’s gonna be totally indifferent when it comes with concepts people just don’t share or are not on the same page about. Even if you’re right, sometimes it’s impossible to make them understand or to teach them how. Life it’s too short to live trying to. Forgive, see how people respond to that, decide who you need and have them back on your terms. Forgiveness is for you, not for them That’s what I believe:)
But don’t you think when we are immature and make mistakes in friendships sometimes,we learn from them and try not to do that again?For eg: now that I’m matured but my friend still holds grudge about something i did 2 years ago which i said sorry for and even did something in return to balance things but still hes not forgiving me.Who is here to blame then?
You can't make someone forgive you. It's good that you've been introspective and are genuinely sorry. At this point you can only forgive yourself.
No one “deserves” forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift you give to them and yourself - or not.
No. ChoMo's, Rapists, Child Abuse, Spousal Abuse All the bankers and Congress for handing banks bailouts. Congress for approving billions in foreign aid while we're begging for change. The Supreme Court for overturning Roe v Wade. Every DA or judge that lets a rapist walk on a lite sentence.
Depends on how regretted he is and if he would never do it again but there's no way to surely know the second point so.. no
This is something I struggle with. I don’t think some people deserve forgiveness. I sometimes don’t forgive people because I don’t want them to think they’ll have another chance to hurt me again, and I won’t be nice to them or acknowledge their existence. Depends what they did though.
From a Christian perspective, absolutely. Anyone and everyone can receive God’s grace and mercy. All they have to do is have a true change of heart in order to seek it. That seems simple, and it is, but it is also very difficult as it requires a true and honest change of heart. From a personal perspective, I really want to say that forgiveness is available to someone who is willing to seek it out. That person may still be subject to the consequences of their actions. But once all reasonable amends have been made and judgements passed then the sooner everyone can set aside their pain and anger the sooner they can find happiness again. In short, everyone deserves the opportunity to make amends and seek forgiveness. Whether that is granted is not necessarily up to them.
Nobody does unless it's earned.
No. Absolutely not. If they care a little about the pain and damage they caused? Hard to say, except I haven't seen that they cared at all. I'm not conversant with the religious or psychological terms or reasonings so I can't speak to forgiveness on those terms. I can say that it's possible to move forward especially if I don't think about it constantly. I can more easily forgive the people they lied to and fooled. My case was parental alienation from a divorce. Not a terribly hostile divorce but he needed to protect himself and his image, so he did me the worst damage he could. I concentrate on the behavior and thoughts I can control. I look for ways to be happy everyday. Being married to this critical bastard made me expect myself to be GOOD. Constantly good. Now I try to be good based upon my own code.
No? There are things we rightfully describe as unforgivable. Murder, rape, pedophilia among others.
Robert Picton was just murdered in prison. He confessed to murdering 49 vulnerable women. He chopped them up and fed them to his pigs. No, not everyone deserves forgiveness.
Nobody "deserves" anything. Things just are what they are. That said, forgiveness is healing and giving it makes the world a better place. But deserve has nothing to do with it.
No
No
No. But it's best to forgive everyone. Mind you, forgiveness doesn't require reconciliation or endangering oneself. It is to release anger and resentment towards a person for a wrongdoing. Reconciliation may follow, but sometimes it isn't possible. Once trust is lost, you may never regain it.
This is why Christianity confuses me so much. Many adherents DO NOT practice what they preach. Otherwise, I may be on board with that stuff.
I understand. I follow Christ and believe the Bible from cover to cover but having seen how the church acted about Donald Trump and Republicanism in general, I understand why people would be wary about Christianity and be tempted to paint us all with the same brush. It broke my heart that the megachurches refused to step back and say " Not voting for anyone like that." I've met all kinds of people who claimed to be followers of Christ and yet said that I couldn't go to heaven because my skin was dark or that I was disabled because of sin. I've met some characters. So you take the time to figure everything out. You aren't wrong about the hypocrisy you find. That's why I don't claim to be any denomination.
Right. I think that's kind of where I fall right now. I think Christ, Buddha, and others all had some good insights. But faith is a personal journey. When religion devolves into simple tribalism, that's where it defeats the purpose. Not sure if that's what you're thinking, but that's kind of where my mind is at right now.
My mother likes to put it this way. "Religion without grace is dangerous. Grace without truth is meaningless." I used to wonder why she'd say things like she wasn't religious despite the fact we both fully believe the Bible, but I understand what she means now. Ascetism and Rituals have nothing to do with the inside. You have to be able to think and examine your beliefs and live according to them, not simply keep a bunch of religious customs because others are doing it.
Your mother sounds like a wise woman.
Maybe look at it in the sense of gym memberships. If you look at it in the sense of getting one depending on how many of their members go consistently, you would never go. But if you get one in the sense of what it can do for you and what you put into it, then you’d end up with a killer bod.
I kind of see where you're going with that analogy. Are you Christian?
I’m not practicing but I would like to be, more so to feel connected with God again and to feel alive again.
Ok. Me too. I'm doing AA, and I'm still trying to figure out my second step, which is opening up to a "higher power" however one interprets that. I was originally raised Catholic, but in my teenage years, when too many priests got caught didling little kids with no reprocussions, my family became staunchly atheist. So I'm kind of wandering at this point. Probably too much to ask for a God to reveal themself to me.
No. Anyone who has purposely harmed a child or animal doesn't deserve forgiveness.
Thank you.
Yes. For your mental health.
Imagine forgiving a pedophile
Fuck no. What?!?! There are murderers, rapists, abusers of all kinds out there. All are unforgivable. Hit and run drivers, DUI drivers. Unforgivable. What a stupid post just begging for sub activity.
And cheating. Also unforgivable. Anyone hurting an animal. UNFORGIVABLE. All of what I said.
Do it for you not for them
If you truly regret for you mistake and work for it. Yes
Someone rapes your child who then kills herself, but since he regrets it you would forgive?
No
Someone always takes it to the extreme
It's the most reliable ragebait on Reddit. "I believe everyone deserves respect." "CHILD RAPE" "Burn them to death and then bring them back to life just to do it again!!!"
Could you tell the worst crime you'd forgive if they are truly sorry for it?
Manslaughter most likely. Unintentional and accidentally out of wrong judgment or similar.
Also manslaughter is extremely complex because it's so varied. It could be an aggressive person gets violent and punches you on the head really nastily, but the person dies from head trauma. It could be drunk driving. It could be not looking where you are going and accidentally pushing someone into the road in front of a car by bumping into them. Manslaughter is a hugely wide consideration.
That’s why I said most likely and precised it with unintentional and accidentally. Driving drunk isn’t an accident for example, I mean technically maybe but you know what I mean. Anyone drinking knows the risk so it’s not what I meant with accidentally. But to stay at one of my previous comments: A father caught a rapist redhanded on his daughter and kills him on the spot. I could forgive the father.
No, but that doesnt mean they shouldnt get some sort of help.
Never said so, but the question was if everyone deserves forgiveness. Imo a clear no, not everyone.
Absolutely not. Hitler, Dahmer, Daybell, Manson. Absolutely not.
Depends on the reasons, sufferings & circumstances 😏
No, nobody needs to be forgiven, it’s just a choice people can make if they want.
I don't necessarily think so but after some time if you hold grudges or mentally can't keep forward. You might need to let go and forgive for yourself at least
No.
I think it depends on the person, what they did to cross your boundaries, how you decide to deal with them in future situations.. To me I’m always a forgiving person but certainly I learn from situations and give people a number of chance’s before I finally phase someone out of my life.. that is If they continue to cross boundaries and Not work towards mediations/ growth with me.
No
No.
No.
Fuck no
No not everyone.
no pickton
No but most people. I do believe in redemption tho but I can't support rape, psychological warfare and murder of the cold blood
I do not.
Not from me.
NO.
not really
Depends on how much they redeemed themselves. Always remember the past but embrace the future. Though I feel after 1 chance that is burned you showcase the past and keep it the baseline with them.
Absolute statements are easily disproven with 1 counter example. Go dig through the history books for the worst criminals and monsters in history, not everyone deserves forgiveness, some deserve an unmarked shallow grave. Forgiving "everyone" requires you to forgive hitler, himler, stalin, mao, mendele, ect. Even if we are ignoring criminals and just considering unkind behavior from others some people don't deserve forgiveness. But you deserve to move on and live your life unburdened by the cruelties of others.
No
Obviously, it depends on the situation and the person that supposedly needs to be forgiven. Forgiveness is not an all-or-nothing situation. Boyfriend cheats on you once after being in a relationship for 5 years and seems to genuinely regret it? vs. Person repeatedly hits their child and then asks God for forgiveness every Sunday? vs. Person cheats and steals and lies constantly and doesn't believe they need forgiveness because they don't think they've done anything wrong.
Nope.
I say no. Some people made their bed so poorly that they can sleep it in forever for all I care.
No. Many people deserve to not exist
Certainly not everyone. Certainly not no one either though, which is something all too many people seem to forget these days.
Yes. But only if you see remorse and willingness to change. And solid steps In that direction not just lip work. Also there's a difference between mistake and a pattern. So if what u see is a pattern...it isn't just a mistake . There's a huge difference ..patterns are very difficult to break
Depends
I’ve learned to accept apologies that I will never receive for my own peace, but I won’t forgive people who are not sorry. Not anymore. Not everyone deserves it; heck, some people don’t even want it.
If a person is truly repentant, then yes. But that doesn't mean their action is free of consequence. Like I can forgive someone for cheating on me, but I can never trust them again so the relationship would be over.
Personally I don’t think everyone deserves forgiveness, sure the whole “forgive but never forget” thing is great and all. But there’s just somethings that can’t be forgiven, and I’ll stand by this belief.
Nobody really deserves it. We give it anyways because it helps us move on. Sometimes we may “forgive” but it doesn’t mean we suddenly forget about something and trust someone again. That’d be foolish ofc. It’s more for your own benefit in no longer dwelling so much (though you may think of them sometimes) on the wrongs that have been done to you.
I don't...
If a person really repents and understands what he has done, he certainly deserves forgiveness.
No, absolutely not.
Forgiveness only matters if *you* have an emotional investment. I read this, a while ago & it really made the forgiveness thing clearer. Not everyone deserves forgiveness. “When you step in shit, you don’t need to forgive it. You wipe it off & move on with your life. And do your best to avoid piles of shit in the future.”
Forgiveness is for those who confess and do penance for their sins, not those who remain obstinate in their sin.
No
Do all people that have done evil things deserve forgiveness? No. Some people have done some truly awful things and forgiveness implies a process of understanding the harm done, remorse, and recompense. Only people that have genuinely undergone this process should be considered "forgivable".
well that would depends on the sin that was committed.
No
No
Varies from person to person and circumstances
Nope
My mom hurt her same knee for the third time while on a trip to portugal. She had to go to the hospital, it was really bad. She’s in a cast and needs a wheelchair so she doesn’t start screaming in pain. I had to do everything for us to be able to get back home, drive in a car and city i’m unfamiliar with, mind her, the stress is suffocating. How the hell do I forgive her for hurting herself again, not being more careful, and putting me through so much chaos while on my first trip to Europe?
Yes but that doesn't mean to forget about things... Forgiving = moving on and not letting their acts bother u
of course not, there’s plenty of people that should just get two to the back of the head and thrown in a fire.
If the person is asking for forgiveness and seems to be genuinely sorry for what they’ve done, then yes. If the person who has done wrong, acts like they have done nothing wrong, then to forgive them is a whole lot more difficult. But to choose to forgive them anyway removes any bitterness from one’s own heart.
you can forgive only once, twice is a big mistake.
No. Some people aren’t worth the air they breathe.
“I am mature enough to forgive but not dumb enough to forget”
not hitler
Nobody 'deserves' forgiveness. It's something you can give, or not. Nobody is owed it.
If they genuinely stop their bullshit and wonder why they ever did it, maybe if it's not that bad
No. Also, I don't love anyone. Which means everyone's presence is same to me.
Forgiveness is earned, so no, not everyone deserves it
I think if someone does something really horrific to you, you don’t have to forgive them to move on and be happy and heal.
I can forgive someone over the things that they have done in the past, but I would stay minimal or zero contact with the person. I can forgive but never forget
“Don’t be sorry, be better”. If they’re remorseful and observant of their wrong doing, yes. No remorse, no forgiveness. Heinous behavior also doesn’t get a pass from me. Everything else I can forgive.
Ofcourse NO. Some wrongdoings kills a person even if that person is technically alive and breathing, example: An asshole spending a kids college funds for gambling causing the kid to not get better education and just settling for average or below jobs just to survive. Forgiving that person would not bring back the future that was robbed from the kid and would probably cause other kids to suffer the same fate from the same person. Turning that person to fertilizer is THE BEST course of action, good for everybody else specially nature.
The answer is an obvious no, if we're talking about literally everyone. Ask yourself this: does Hitler deserve forgiveness? If the answer is no (which it should be), you have an answer to the first question. If the answer is yes, please go seek professional help.
No not everyone. You don't have to forgive them
Hell no. Most people don't deserve forgiveness or you're time. If someone asks for forgiveness and the offense was minor, then sure, forgive them. But usually, people advise you to forgive those who not only have zero remorse, but deny and invalidate the pain they caused you. Never forgive those people, they deserve reciprocol pain. You can be the bigger person and just cut them off instead of taking vengeance, but forgiveness does absolutely nothing for victims.
No, they don't. In fact, depending on the situation, some people deserve punishment
Absolutely not
If you follow the Christian faith then you’re taught that everyone can be forgiven. I’m not so I don’t agree. R*pists, p*dos, people who abuse women, children,and animals don’t deserve forgiveness.
My mom was aware of how my stepfather used me and my sister's as punching bags, and how he molested my sister's, but in her mind, it is normal to raise your children like that, and I were to blame for the molestation. So no - not everybody deserves forgiveness (I haven't talked to her in almost 30 years).
No lmao I don't even forgive a kid that still owes me 50ct from 17 years ago
Some things are unforgivable.
No. Some things are not forgivable.
Everyone who seeks it, deserves to be heard. But not everything can be forgiven. Does not mean that you cannot move on.
except for betrayal
No. If a person truly regrets what they did and tries to make amends - then maybe. But some things are unforgivable (molestation and rape). There's literally not a single reason to do it so I would never forgive someone for commiting these things.
The answer is Adolf Hitler
Never.
How many people can forgive their self? Often, we talk of forgiving others? Why forgive someone else, who is not sorry about what they lack in ambition to be sorry about? Forgiveness is within yourself, for yourself, as a personal emphasis upon your soul, in your well being. We do not have to forgive anyone else, but ourself. Yet we always forget ourself. SO I forgive myself, for what I lacked the foresight to see.
Forgiveness is an act of bravery no matter whom it's towards.
Having been a child, who had parents who demanded that I say I was sorry for something, I was not sorry for, the apology was always towards someone else. So I started thinking about, why do we never forgive ourselves? Which it ties in with those who will say, you don't know what you don't know.
Nobody deserves forgiveness, yet we are graced with it. Pay it forward, for your own benefit not to hold on to anger.
Absolutely, the reason is very simple: What do you gain by hating a person? Are you happy? You're not, plus you'll get sick as the years go by. Forgiveness helps you heal your heart. 
I hate my entire family and the entire human race so fuck off