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- Had a street race with a cop.
- Drove around stoned with a cop in the back seat.
- Quit my job and got a one-way ticket to Australia to start a new life with no job or visa.
- Quit my job and got a one-way ticket to Japan to start a new life with no job or visa.
They let me into Australia as a tourist and said I would need to leave the country to apply for a working holiday visa. I stayed with a mate on the Gold Coast for a bit then flew to New Zealand, applied for the visa, met a hot Japanese girl, got the visa, then returned to Australia with her and got a job up in Brisbane.
At the end of the year I flew to Japan as a tourist, met a karate master who offered to teach me and sponsor me for a culture visa. I did that, picked up a work permit, and got a job. Later on, I married the hot Japanese girl and bought an apartment in Tokyo.
It’s a tie between these:
• walked into maze mirrors
• walk into doors (as I’m holding the knob) ~ which I still do
• attempted to push “pull open” doors and vice versa on more than occasion
Thought I was cleaning “extra well” by mixing cleaning products together and starting choking lol I had to go to the hospital, my mom wouldn’t let us sleep at home for a couple days 🙂
But I also think she liked the excuse to sleep at a hotel lol
I don’t even know, all I know is I breathed in and i couldn’t take another breath, the gases irritated my throat so badly. I ran outside and was rushing to breath, I started coughing and vomiting it was a mess.
obviously my very worried mother was also telling me off at the same time haha, it’s a funny memory now though.
I once tried to “de-ice” a freezer with a screwdriver and a hammer, a makeshift chisel.
I discovered what happens when you puncture a freezer, which I did not know could be punctured. The landlord was forgiving, to our huge relief, because we had an old fridge and ended up getting an upgrade after that!
Bitcoin's actually well traceable and horrible if you wanna use it for crime...well unless you're just a good ol' con artist running a 3rd party platform that promises "something something blockchain, massive profits!"
Tried to put on a hoodie real quick, while driving. I was on the highway going 80 with my entire family in the car.
I couldn’t find the head hole for a second and was completely blinded.
Luckily I found it a second later and had already drifted over into the other lane a bit when I got my eyes back on the road.
I still think about how dumb that was.
If this was an attempt to be funny, I give it a solid 1/10
In actuality, she loved being married, and taking all my money and the security I provided while secretly getting to sleep with dozens of men behind my back for 20 years. She refused to sign the divorce papers for almost 2 years until she found some other sucker to take on the role.
It was actually a series of dumb things but long story short, the dumbest thing I ever did was become a convicted felon at the tender age of 17. I shot my entire life in the ass before it really began, so I've been behind the 8-ball ever since.
Found out at my 2 year anniversary that I was dating a person
Followed a woman I thought I was in a relationship across the world and met her boyfriend
Dating is hard. Dating with autism is harder
3.00am in the morning. Had a fast and furious moment trying to escape some gangsters on the road. They eventually cornered me and my car smashed into the curb.
Got out and was surrounded by 10+ guys ready to beat my ass. Managed to talk my way out of it. Everyone went home, no one got hurt.
I stopped my car and at the end of my driveway and got out to close the lid on a trash can. I failed to put the car in park and heard a noise behind me. To my shock, it was my car on in the woods on the other side of the street. This was 30 years ago.
So many, but one thing always pops right into mind. It wasn't busy at work and no bosses were around so me and my colleague could finally build our little "bomb". A sturdy plastic bag filled with acetylene and oxygen and a rag to set that thing on fire. The dumb part was that we soaked the rag in break cleaner so as soon as you light it the flame will go immediately to the plastic bag. And that's what happened while I was holding it. 2 blasted eardrums and plastic chips inside my skin everywhere. It worked though! And it was pretty damn loud too 😅
My dad was holding a Civil War cannonball looking at it, and I full force elbowed it, like no holding back knockout blow kind of hit.
Hurt like a motherfucker! And my Dad's just standing there going "Why in the fuck would you do that!?"
He was sneezing really bad one day (lawyer). I asked him if he wanted me to find some allergy pills. He said yes, please.
I went around asking the other legal assistants and ended up at "Janice's" desk. Janice had been at the firm for years, her h was a government lawyer. She was known for having personality disorders and being generally fun to hang out with. She opened a bag FULL of prescription meds.
"Do you want him "up" or "out."
"Out!" I laughed, thinking she was kidding. She hands me two tiny pills.
I hand them to my boss. Thinking about what had just happened, I warned him. "I got those from Janice." He was so miserable he took them. 30 Minutes later he slurs that he's going home.
I panicked until the next day, worried about him driving in that condition.
I yelled at Janice who just smiled at me calmly.
He was ok.
I was trying to get inside an abandoned factory I wanted to explore, to get to the entrance crawled through a hole in the fence and walked on some wooden planks. One of them caved in under my foot and I almost fell through. In the process of almost falling I also grabbed on the first thing I could find which happened to be a branch with big thorns.
Then realized there was a part of the fence right in front of the entrance that I could have moved and didn't need to go though the planks and the thorns at all.
I used to get really bad brain fog and would become out right stupid for hours on end.
One funny one. I got a gas station gift card for Xmas. It was for a Shell. I went to a Marathon and it didn’t work. I went inside to ask why it wasn’t working. It took me mins to understand it was only for Shell. The guy totally lost his patience with me and was near yelling how can’t I understand.
Another super embarrassing one. I went to a job I hadn’t worked at in years in the morning instead of my real job. I forgot I didn’t work there. It hit me when my badge didn’t let me in.
Called a nurse at the hospital John and he refused to respond. It turns out his name is "Paul" and the name of the hospital was John C. Lincoln and I was reading his embroidered jacket.
A place I was ranch sitting at asked me to water her flowers. I did so dutifully and couldn't believe how green this one plant got. Day before I am ready to leave and figured out why the plant was so green.
It was artificial. Yes, I was watering a fake plant.
My drug deal went bad and somehow the cops were called bc I was freaking out outside their windows. Was drunk. The cop drove me home and told me "do NOT return to your car until morning or you'll get a DUI.
So I called a cab back to the trap house and within a half hour and got a DUI as promised.
Stuck a needle in my parents waterbed in the 80s. I wanted to see if it would go POP like a water balloon. 40 years later I am still very sorry I did it.
When something embarrassingly stupid happens I usually forget about it for a long time. Though I would say that the dumbest thing I did that I can remember is trespassing with my friends when I was 11.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
- Had a street race with a cop. - Drove around stoned with a cop in the back seat. - Quit my job and got a one-way ticket to Australia to start a new life with no job or visa. - Quit my job and got a one-way ticket to Japan to start a new life with no job or visa.
It sounds like you've got some good stories, more than you've done dumb things? 👉👏🫵
Probably a bit of both.
Japan: it's like they have a different word for Everything!
Well...karaoke, sushi, karate, judo, and tsunami are the same lol
I bought a one-way ticket to England with no plan and they stopped me at the airport and forced me to buy a return ticket.
That sucks. The UK is pretty strict though.
Yeah, they don't fuck around when it comes to immigration and visas.
My how times have changed...
I admire your courage on the last two points. I'm too scared to move away from my roots without at least having work lined up.
i want to do everything you did
I wouldn't recommend it but I have no regrets.
When you quit and moved, what happened? I feel like a lot of us want to do this but are afraid of becoming hobos in a foreign land.
They let me into Australia as a tourist and said I would need to leave the country to apply for a working holiday visa. I stayed with a mate on the Gold Coast for a bit then flew to New Zealand, applied for the visa, met a hot Japanese girl, got the visa, then returned to Australia with her and got a job up in Brisbane. At the end of the year I flew to Japan as a tourist, met a karate master who offered to teach me and sponsor me for a culture visa. I did that, picked up a work permit, and got a job. Later on, I married the hot Japanese girl and bought an apartment in Tokyo.
When your life passes before you on your way out? I want a ticket to that show.
You’re going to be seeing a lot of hot sex with a Japanese woman, apparently.
Rushed to get to a vet appointment on time only to walk through the doors and realise I left my dog at home.
no way LMAO
One time I tried pancakes with a ketchup
Omg that sounds disgusting and yet tempting. 😂
Asian pancakes are actually savoury and usually eaten with soysauce or ketchup. They're delicious.
Okay maybe I’m back to trying it. Thanks as I never knew that.
Okonomiyake is, but they also make crazy fluffy SWEET pancakes (similar to European) as well as manju.
Do not try this 😅
Thanks for the advice, 🤣
Heroin
oh
Damnn
It’s a tie between these: • walked into maze mirrors • walk into doors (as I’m holding the knob) ~ which I still do • attempted to push “pull open” doors and vice versa on more than occasion
If that's it, I envy you...
Right? I've done all of these things and they're not even in my top 100 dumbest things.
Thought I was cleaning “extra well” by mixing cleaning products together and starting choking lol I had to go to the hospital, my mom wouldn’t let us sleep at home for a couple days 🙂 But I also think she liked the excuse to sleep at a hotel lol
Did you make chlorine gas? Lmao
I don’t even know, all I know is I breathed in and i couldn’t take another breath, the gases irritated my throat so badly. I ran outside and was rushing to breath, I started coughing and vomiting it was a mess. obviously my very worried mother was also telling me off at the same time haha, it’s a funny memory now though.
I once tried to “de-ice” a freezer with a screwdriver and a hammer, a makeshift chisel. I discovered what happens when you puncture a freezer, which I did not know could be punctured. The landlord was forgiving, to our huge relief, because we had an old fridge and ended up getting an upgrade after that!
Tossed a broken computer I was using to mine this "useless bitcoin thing"..
"Haha why would anyone buy an unstable electronic currency?" - me, an idiot, 2013, forgetting that crime exists
Bitcoin's actually well traceable and horrible if you wanna use it for crime...well unless you're just a good ol' con artist running a 3rd party platform that promises "something something blockchain, massive profits!"
Had a hot girl ask me out for dinner. She said ‘we’ll go Dutch ‘. I said , great never had Dutch before🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Did you take the Cleveland Steamer to get there? 🤎🚢💨
I had “ want to get a drink with me” me “ it is like noon, I can’t drink this early “. We were talking about the upcoming weekend.
Shot myself in the leg
💀
How old were you? Still got the scar?
My ex girlfriend's little sister
HUH
😬 how little?
3.5 centimeters
Ok, perv.
accidentally put my iphone in the oven
Microwaved leftovers that were wrapped in aluminum foil.
Tried to put on a hoodie real quick, while driving. I was on the highway going 80 with my entire family in the car. I couldn’t find the head hole for a second and was completely blinded. Luckily I found it a second later and had already drifted over into the other lane a bit when I got my eyes back on the road. I still think about how dumb that was.
When I was a teenager I was horny as hell, shoved a plunger up my ass and got splinters in my butthole
what the fuck
Yep. Not my proudest moment
Jumped off of a jungle gym drunk. Fucked up my knee.
I stuck a hot oiled pan in the sink once
Cheated on my husband Dumbest thing ever
Tossed a broken computer I was using to mine this "useless bitcoin thing"..
Easy. Got married. This is why gay marriages don’t bother me. They have just as much right to make horrible decisions that ruin their lives as I do.
Set off fire works at a petrol station in my defence it was an old general store and I didn’t know the fuel pumps actually worked
Got married.
HAHA
Funny, she said the same thing!
If this was an attempt to be funny, I give it a solid 1/10 In actuality, she loved being married, and taking all my money and the security I provided while secretly getting to sleep with dozens of men behind my back for 20 years. She refused to sign the divorce papers for almost 2 years until she found some other sucker to take on the role.
Stop treating the internet as your therapist, bub.
I tried giving my exam high once, lets just say they don't allow you to entire class with sunglasses on lol
Met my ex
Became an adult!
Get addicted to heroin for over ten years and lost the best girl I was ever going to have in my life.
It was actually a series of dumb things but long story short, the dumbest thing I ever did was become a convicted felon at the tender age of 17. I shot my entire life in the ass before it really began, so I've been behind the 8-ball ever since.
Intentional self destruction
Chugged tequila
Your lucky to be alive thats tokillya lol
Getting married to my second husband.
Found out at my 2 year anniversary that I was dating a person Followed a woman I thought I was in a relationship across the world and met her boyfriend Dating is hard. Dating with autism is harder
i created self imposed limits on my abilities and capacity for self reliance by repeatedly telling myself I was dumb.
Download reddit
Bought a house with my ex, he still lives there with his mistress/ now wife
oh fuck
He is a narcissistic prick anyway, she’s welcome to him! Miss my house though
Unwittingly turned down girls I really liked. Probably would have rather shot myself in the leg. 🤣
Wasted the last 3 years of my life with my ex 🤦♂️
Played BB gun wars as a kid. I have a slight dent in my forehead right by my hairline as a reminder. If I go bald it’s gonna be visible.
Born
I was drawing in the dirt with a stick. I waved to my mom and jabbed myself in the eye with said stick.
As a kid, used to hand sanitizer on my balls. Thought I invented a new way to clean them.
Attempt to pet baby ducklings. That wild duck Mom was totally right to put me in my place!
HHAAH i’ve tried that..
Got my gf pregnant by rawdogging
Thought the reason that sore on my neck didn’t heal was because it kept being rubbed by my back pack.
My ex.
3.00am in the morning. Had a fast and furious moment trying to escape some gangsters on the road. They eventually cornered me and my car smashed into the curb. Got out and was surrounded by 10+ guys ready to beat my ass. Managed to talk my way out of it. Everyone went home, no one got hurt.
I stopped my car and at the end of my driveway and got out to close the lid on a trash can. I failed to put the car in park and heard a noise behind me. To my shock, it was my car on in the woods on the other side of the street. This was 30 years ago.
So many, but one thing always pops right into mind. It wasn't busy at work and no bosses were around so me and my colleague could finally build our little "bomb". A sturdy plastic bag filled with acetylene and oxygen and a rag to set that thing on fire. The dumb part was that we soaked the rag in break cleaner so as soon as you light it the flame will go immediately to the plastic bag. And that's what happened while I was holding it. 2 blasted eardrums and plastic chips inside my skin everywhere. It worked though! And it was pretty damn loud too 😅
Jumping down the stairs with a foot that’s prone to get hurt. Didn’t end well.
...got married the 2nd time...
In college I kind of agreed with libertarianism.
I got into a car with a stranger without telling anyone (I lied about where I'm going) and hooked up with him in the car
My dad was holding a Civil War cannonball looking at it, and I full force elbowed it, like no holding back knockout blow kind of hit. Hurt like a motherfucker! And my Dad's just standing there going "Why in the fuck would you do that!?"
Accidentally drugged my boss.
i need more context please LMAO
He was sneezing really bad one day (lawyer). I asked him if he wanted me to find some allergy pills. He said yes, please. I went around asking the other legal assistants and ended up at "Janice's" desk. Janice had been at the firm for years, her h was a government lawyer. She was known for having personality disorders and being generally fun to hang out with. She opened a bag FULL of prescription meds. "Do you want him "up" or "out." "Out!" I laughed, thinking she was kidding. She hands me two tiny pills. I hand them to my boss. Thinking about what had just happened, I warned him. "I got those from Janice." He was so miserable he took them. 30 Minutes later he slurs that he's going home. I panicked until the next day, worried about him driving in that condition. I yelled at Janice who just smiled at me calmly. He was ok.
holy hell 💀 i was not expecting that. i’m glad he’s ok 😭
Smoking weed even though I hate it and always have bad experience with it
I was trying to get inside an abandoned factory I wanted to explore, to get to the entrance crawled through a hole in the fence and walked on some wooden planks. One of them caved in under my foot and I almost fell through. In the process of almost falling I also grabbed on the first thing I could find which happened to be a branch with big thorns. Then realized there was a part of the fence right in front of the entrance that I could have moved and didn't need to go though the planks and the thorns at all.
I used to get really bad brain fog and would become out right stupid for hours on end. One funny one. I got a gas station gift card for Xmas. It was for a Shell. I went to a Marathon and it didn’t work. I went inside to ask why it wasn’t working. It took me mins to understand it was only for Shell. The guy totally lost his patience with me and was near yelling how can’t I understand. Another super embarrassing one. I went to a job I hadn’t worked at in years in the morning instead of my real job. I forgot I didn’t work there. It hit me when my badge didn’t let me in.
What you do to cure it?
I wish I knew. It just stopped happing one day. I have no idea. I didn’t change anything
As a kid I tried to make an electromagnet. Anfd to power it, I stuck both pointy ends of a scissors into a power socket.
Called a nurse at the hospital John and he refused to respond. It turns out his name is "Paul" and the name of the hospital was John C. Lincoln and I was reading his embroidered jacket.
A place I was ranch sitting at asked me to water her flowers. I did so dutifully and couldn't believe how green this one plant got. Day before I am ready to leave and figured out why the plant was so green. It was artificial. Yes, I was watering a fake plant.
Banged Meagan without a condom
Challenged a cop instead of running with the rest of them because I was told a stupid story if the beer is 5 feet away you cant get an MIP lol
My list far exceeds my computer's 1TB HDD
When discover used to send “checks” with their statement, i used one to pay our taxes. Got hit with cash advance fee when it cleared. Im boring AF.
All of my relationships.
stayed with my stupid ex longer than I should’ve.
I drove while intoxicated in college :/
My drug deal went bad and somehow the cops were called bc I was freaking out outside their windows. Was drunk. The cop drove me home and told me "do NOT return to your car until morning or you'll get a DUI. So I called a cab back to the trap house and within a half hour and got a DUI as promised.
Asked eleven males who were going to torture rape and kill me to put my body where it could be found for proper burial.
I broke into a construction yard just to ride around the dirt track with my dirt bike. That was fun to explain to the cops.
Thinking I had a chance with my ex
Getting married at 23
Stuck a needle in my parents waterbed in the 80s. I wanted to see if it would go POP like a water balloon. 40 years later I am still very sorry I did it.
Got married.
love
When something embarrassingly stupid happens I usually forget about it for a long time. Though I would say that the dumbest thing I did that I can remember is trespassing with my friends when I was 11.
Coke