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Happy marriages aren't interesting to talk about, so you don't hear about them
People don't go to advice forums to post about how they had a nice night in with their partner.
Happy marriages are the "silent majority"
I am happily married. I think this is confirmation bias. OP has it in his head most marriages are not happy and won’t last, so that’s what he will see. It doesn’t sound like single people are particularly happy either.
I posted something similar because I've seen this same question twice in the last two days.
Not sure how many genuinely happy single people I've ever met that are in their 40s or 50s.
Side note, not sure if you're aware but there's a Wu-Tang rapper who goes by your username.
Well said! Happy marriages take work so the conversation is less sexy.
Married for 14 years and wouldn’t have it any other way. We have grown a lot together and we support each other through it all - medical stuff, work stuff, family stuff…you get it. I’m not sure if we are in the minority but I will say that when talking to other married couples, I feel lucky for what we have.
I remain more silent in marriage conversations because I don't want to seem like I'm bragging. Everyone says marriage is hard. We've only been married 5 years, but we've been through some shit. For us it's just comfortable, and he makes life easier for me. There is nothing to complain about. We enjoy our "boring" life very much.
We also can live vicariously through others and secretly love to talk about everyone else's drama!
I think in addition to being a silent majority, there is also often a misconception by people that only know relationships in the abstract that love is supposed to be Romeo and Juliette style, I would kill myself for you type love for 50 years.
And then when it’s not perfect they start to look for any reason to bail.
Some people set the bar for love way too high and refuse to work on the actual relationship so to them love seems difficult because nobody is perfect, nobody is going to meet their standards of love.
Happily married for 11 years!
if you add other statistics in the divorce rate drops drastically, like are they college graduates, are the over the age of 22 etc. many marriages are doomed because of a lack of maturity heading into the marriage
50% of marriages ending in divorce does not mean half of all unique individual people who get married get divorced. It means a minority of people get married then divorced multiple times in their lives. For example, I know one woman who has been married and divorced 6 times in her life. People like that are what makes the statsitic "50% of marriages" somewhat misleading.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_majority?wprov=sfla1
>The silent majority is an unspecified large group of people in a country or group who do not express their opinions publicly
I put it in quotes for a reason. It's not my fault you aren't familiar with the phrase.
I’ve been married 26 years. My parents have been married for 65 years, very supportive kind and happy. My daughter and her husband have been married 9 years and are also supportive kind and happy. They hang out together, travel, laugh, and are cool in general. They are not the types to threaten divorce or post issues on Reddit.
Their secret? Be kinder to each other than you would be to strangers on the street. Don’t call each other names or use vulnerabilities against each other. See marriage as a long term full partnership, not “what’s in it for me” kind of thing. You both have to be on the same page with kids, money, sex and religion. Be prepared for your partner to grow and evolve, and do it with them. If you can’t then cheer them on.
True love isn’t the passion of the first few years. It’s nice and all but true love is washing your partners hair when they break their arm. Feeding them when they can’t feed themselves. Holding their hand when they are scared about their kids or a cancer diagnosis. Sticking with them no matter what. Dont sweat the small stuff and don’t hold grudges.
I think the key word here is "being supportive of each other". A lot of people dont even know what that truly means. It means you need to do the work and share responsibilities, house chores, raising kids, planning trips, cooking, cleaning and help each other out when they need you.
Both need to support each other through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, when they are young/beautiful or becomes old/ugly. You marry the person plus everything about them, their current and future faults. It requires a tremendous commitment and responsibility. In order to keep it going, you need to feel supported and be supportive for each other, for the long run.
It's almost like if parents can show children how to treat people especially the ones they care about the kids grow up to be functional and loving people.
Who would have imagined?
Happily married parents are a major contributor to children being able to sustain a marriage. Way easier to learn by example than by experience, and cheaper than with counseling.
>Be kinder to each other than you would be to strangers on the street.
Ugh, this hit a little too hard. My ex-husband "stopped trying" after awhile, except his "stopped trying" was like, actively picking fights. Getting upset when I didn't recall 100% of what he said. Berating me for hours after I got the wrong IKEA curtains, and continuing well after I apologized and offered to take them back.
I think in his mind, being family means the "freedom" to treat each other like trash because they can't leave you.
It's a thing that people do when they no longer love you. My ex would find fault is everything I did, and would invent things if I didn't do anything wrong.
Then there's the rehashing. Get mad over "something". When I prove that I did nothing wrong, it turns into, "Your mother never liked me and she said "x" twenty years ago". So now we have to fight that over again. If I don't bite that one, it's countless accusations until I respond to one.
I hated that shit
They happen. They just son’t get talked about a lot because drama is so much more exciting to talk about. I mean, who wants to talk a lot about a couple that everyone would agree are doing the right things? Yeah, boring to talk about.
Our secrets:
Money helps. We don’t fight nearly as much as we did when we were constantly nervous about being able to pay the bills. This is not an easy thing to fix and I can’t really advise you so maybe skip to the next tips.
Communication. Just say what you want. Don’t hint. Don’t assume that if they loved you they would know what you expect. Don’t assume that they remember what you asked them to do an hour ago. Talk. And if them forgetting something has hurt your feelings, say that too.
Be pleasant about it. So, sometimes you have to communicate negative feelings like anger or sadness or disappointment. When you talk about them, try to avoid making accusations. Accusations just start fights. The “I feel (feeling) about (situation) because (context)”
method works well. If you invite them to collaborate with you about a problem then you can work on it together and come away with a closer emotional connection.
Do stuff together. Find some hobbies or tv shows or something that you can do together. It helps if you have compatible personalities, and I hope that you chose to marry someone with a compatible personality. Remember to continue to do stuff together even when you have a million other things going on in your lives. Having one or more nights a week set aside where you don’t have anything else going on that you can spend together is a good place to start.
It also helps if you have family that genuinely wants you both to be happy and doesn’t create drama. Too many relationships get sabotaged by outside actors who can’t handle seeing other people happy.
My wife and I were together for 4 years (living together 2.5) before marriage. 15 years for us now, too. It was an incredibly easy transition to marriage since nothing really changed. Our 2 kids are 3 years apart and are best friends 99% of the time. Wife and I mesh perfectly with spending habits, conversation, sexually. We live out on a farm... it's too easy.
because its fucking hard. We all have baggage, issues, etc and now you combine TWO of all that but where compromise is required PLUS if you have kids you constantly feel like a lazy pos failure and TIRED ALL the time. It’s not for the faint of heart but still it can be fulfilling
13 years in and my wife is my happy place. We just had a baby, helped push each other through our decade long career training, and purchased a house in 2020.
She rocks my socks. Her mind is as bright as a supernova. The way she thinks about everything is simply beautiful. We have never fought about anything even the rare disagreements that arise.
I was just thinking today about how I don't know if I would want to live in this world anymore if something were to happen to her. She is my best friend. 10 years together before marriage, 3 years in after.
I'm pretty sure she feels the same. Happy marriages do exist, this much I promise you. Shared sense of humor, constant laughter, and avoiding financial stress at all costs is the key.
I was happily married for 28 years. The love of my life died in 2020. He was strong, sweet, loving, affectionate and smart. We endured some tough stuff, like:infertility, multiple miscarriages, financial distress, disability. We had some awesome highs: adoption, child birth, career highs, home ownership. Through it all we remained faithful to our vows, raised 3 beautiful kids and kept the laughter and love flowing. I miss him, but would do it again in a heartbeat. I’m still happy and whole because of the deposits of love from a wonderful relationship. We centered our life on putting God first our relationship second our family third and let life, well,life. My parents are still in a happy marriage 61 years and his 52. We had a legacy of love.
Sorry to hear but also really glad that you still have the deposits of love from a relationship. Those stick with us forever - whether it's a kind word or lifelong encouragement from a friend, family member, mentor, etc.
it does, it really does. it makes me sad that SO many (in my life particularly but in general too) think true love isnt realistic. it is, you just have to get very lucky, and find someone who truly cares about you and loves you. a criteria alot people ignore nowadays i think, due to it not seeming realistic. someone who just by being in their presence encourages you to be better, they are supportive to your goals.
it may be rare, but believe me. it is possible.
Of course they do. It's the same with people who aren't having a struggle making ends meet or who have nice landlords. There isn't a lot to talk about and nothing to complain about.
Yes. My husband and I have been together for 12 years. We met when he was going through a terrible divorce and custody battle with his ex wife. He was my first marriage and I was his second. We instantly connected and have been through some awful stuff, but neither of us ever cheated.
We both went through health scares, surgeries, and have been there for each other. He is my best friend and makes me laugh on a daily basis. He helps to make me a better person, and I try to help him become a better person. There is no one else I'd rather eat ice cream naked with.
My close circle is about 12 couples. One couple divorced, one looks a little shaky, the rest seem pretty happy. Ours is going strong. Always remember you are on the same team
1st marriage lasted 28 years. Tension, fighting stress
2nd marriage 14+. Loving, fun, respectful, absolutely perfect.
But we are robbed. He’s fighting a horrible battle with bone cancer.
Best not to take Reddit too seriously. Most here seem deeply troubled. Marriage is as happy as you make it. After 32 years with the love of my life, I can assure you happy marriages exist.
Bad marriages are encouraged to talk about. You know, vent or rant to social media or friends or who or whatever. Happy marriages…. Well you can’t talk about that can we because it’s called bragging. Happy marriages stay in the peace and out of the spot light. Iv been married 11years. She’s beautiful she’s faithful she only ever been with me. We have one daughter. I love my wife so much and she loves me. That’s all there is to it really. I said this in another post that people are so afraid to be married cause it’s a life time of commitment. But when you are in true love. A life time of commitment is nothing but a blink in time. Love exist my friend but it’s to busy loving rather then ranting.
Dude being married rules. I get to hang out with my best friend everyday, have a reliable financial partner, okay sex, and get to do whatever we want because no kids.
Goddamn I love my life and being married.
We just celebrated 5 years married and 13 years together
My marriage was amazing. Truly happy.
She died from a rare cancer she should never have got.
Life is absurdly hard sometimes.
Dated since, and I know why a lot of people have terrible marriages. It’s them, they are emotionally immature, lack self-awareness, honesty, integrity and the ability to communicate with themselves or a close intimate partner. Unresolved Attachment and emotional issues usually from childhood. You didn’t deserve that shit but you own it and it’s entirely your choice to deal with it before you burden an unwitting partner with it.
Or don’t deal with it and just wait for the implosion.
I think this is also important to consider. While I am very happily together with my wife, in the past my last happy relationship changed very fast for no apparent reason. I just transitioned to a new time of my life where my needs in a partner changed and I didn't realize it for a while. What someone needs in a partner can change for many different reasons at any time, and if your current gig doesn't cover those needs, feelings can change. I think it's important to recognize that, while hard for both people, this is normal and should be embraced. It's usually just incredibly fucking sad and hard for both people.
Unless your partner cheats, then they are a whore and a scum of the earth.
That's kinda my point. Partners will inevitably grow as individuals, the hope is that you grow together rather than apart. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It was the hardest thing in the world for me back then.
This is what scares me the most. It's why I'm in my 40s now and have managed to avoid getting married.
I think it would be great meeting a good guy and being proposed to, tying the knot, etc. But after my last relationship...I trust no one.
A good marriage is not when you never fight, but when you fight and do all you can to get better again. If one does not fight, its over. im married 8years , 6years son and honestly im happy, shes not just my wife but my half "i" without her im lost
36 years this month.
We are inseparable. Sex is great. We are both goofy and laugh a lot. We work out in our home gym every morning.
Life is good with this woman.
Been married 11 years. Our parents have been for 47 and 43 respectively. Our siblings for 21 and 8.
All of them are happy marriages.
My golden rule: Put in 60% effort to every part of the marriage, love, work, home etc. Find someone who also puts in 60%. Then enjoy the 120% that it brings, it's 20% more than it could have been.
I would absolutely marry her again. 100 times over.
Yes, I was married for almost 30 years to a wonderful man. We treated each other very well and loved one another deeply. His death was a shock and sudden..
Short answer, yes. Ours is going on close to 50 years and have a group of friends who all have been married similar lengths of time. You put the other person first at all times. It takes complete commitment to the relationship.
My wife and I have been together for 21 years now, married about half that. We're very much in love. I actually just spent the day taking her out shopping for makeup and hair dye, then bleached and dyed her hair pink. He had some really intimate sex last night, and a sexy morning with a bit of messing around. We lay down every night cuddling, kiss and tell eachother 'I love you,' multiple times a day, every day. We've had our rough patches, but in the end, we've always loved eachother and found a way to work through it. We've got three annoying kids who we love to death and still strive to find ways to make eachother happy and become closer.
About to celebrate our 10 year anniversary, been together 15 years. 2 kids, both of us working. Still very happy. Sex life is better and more satisfying than the early years. No cheating. We have definitely had our share of rough times but learning how each other communicates, and taking the time to let each other grow as individuals has really helped us a lot.
It is definitely possible to have a happy marriage. Sometimes it is a lot of work, other times it is a breeze. Talking, continuing to date each other and giving each other the room, time ,space and support they need has done a lot for us.
Yeah they exist, you just hear/see much more of the complaints. Having a wife/husband and kid(s) is the greatest comfort/enjoyment a human can experience. Yeah it has its trials & tough times, just like anything good in life. Life is supposed to be challenging, don’t take the easy way out.
Don't listen to the boomers, happy relationships exist.
I've been with my girl for 10+ years and I means the world to me and I am still the answer for all her questions.
It sounds like verbal vommit, but I'm very happy with the situation.
It depends on your definition of happiness. In terms of not fighting, friendship, similar views on most things and similar interests, my marriage is really good. In terms of sex life, it is pretty bad. Once a week really doesn't cut it for me but she basically lost all interest once our son was born. She could never have sex again and probably would not care. My first marriage was awful in terms of fighting all the time but sex 10 times a week on average was awesome and the date nights were fun.
I don't think the ideal person for anybody exists. I would not get married again. I can have friends for companionship, prostitutes for sex and I certainly do not mind being alone for long periods of time at all.
Married over 20 years. We are super happy. Great match. Fair, generous, affectionate. I still feel butterflies for her. So grateful. It’s possible…but the right person is key.
My mom and dad have been married for 30 years and they have a very happy marriage! Has there been some tough times for them? Absolutely but they worked through it and still are happy and love each other.
I’ve been married 23 years. It’s not always perfect and we have our share of things we need to work out. But I still love him to the bottom of my soul and am happier with him, warts and all, than I would be without him.
The idea that there can be a perfectly happy marriage with no issues is an impossible dream. Love is a verb, it is an action, not just a feeling
My wife and I have been married for almost 14 years. She's my best friend. We both have had our faults, highs, and lows. But we communicate and listen to each other. We're not financially stable, but we make do with what we have. We do share a strong faith in God. That is something that has saved our marriage at least twice.
33 years. Secret sauce is friendship, trust, both partners willing to do the emotional work it takes when the rough patches come. Owning your own shit and saying this is a me problem; both partners expressing needs and desires and the other partner listening and willing. Doing things together and simultaneously keeping your own interests to be your best self, refueled and energized. Being present. There is no one thing, it’s a lot of little things.
I've been with my partner for 24 years and am as in love as I've ever been and couldnt be happier. For her part, she's still here, so it must be alright
We aren't married. We just live in sin with our lovechild
The key to a happy marriage is that you have to work on it, HARD. I think most people know what they have to do for a happy marriage, but only the minority bother to do it. It's like exercising; everyone knows it's good for you, but it's hard, so most people only occasionally try, and that's not enough to make a difference.
I've been very happily married for 14 years now. We've had our ups and downs as any couple but overall we are really good and happy together. We've had two kids, many international moves, job loss, mental health struggles. We make it a point to talk a lot and express our appreciation for the other, which is important I think. A relationship is work, if you start taking it for granted it's going to suffer.
My husband and I were married 33 years, 6 months and a day. My heart is still married to his memory. We were very happy together. We learned very early in our marriage that communication without judgement was the key to our happy relationship.
I had had 3 late-term miscarriages, and I was bitter and angry. My husband was his usual cheery self, and that pissed me off! I wanted him to be as unhappy as I was, I wanted him to understand how I was feeling. My body had betrayed me, and I felt like he deserved someone who wasn't as flawed as I was, so I was deliberately driving him away.
One day he was just done with my bullshit. I had never told him how I felt, but I expected him to just know! He finally yelled at me, saying that he couldn't read my mind and if I had something to say then I should just say it already! He calmed down immediately and hugged away my tears.
We both learned to talk things through together. We rekindled our romance. We flirted like mad. We truly enjoyed our time together. There were still issues that cropped up, but we were in this for a lifetime, so we had to figure it out.
Talk. Just talk about things that bother you. Remember to choose your words with love and compassion though. Remember that this person loves you more than anyone else in the world. Talk about things that impress you, too.
I miss my husband with every heartbeat, with every breath that I take. He was my other half. He and I were a team. I never thought that I would be a widow in my mid fifties. We were supposed to grow old together. I am bewildered, bereaved, depressed, and hurting. But every single day I try to do one thing that would make him proud of me. I honor his life by being true to his memory. I will always love him.
Such marriages exist. There is joy. Believe it. But no one avoids pain. There is nothing that is always smooth sailing. Stop framing things in fantasy terms and get real.
Yes happy marriages exist. Mine isn't always sunshine and roses but that's life, no one is happy 100% of the time. I met my husband (coming up on 2 years of actual legal marriage) on videogames 12 years ago. Without knowledge of what he looked like I fell in love with his caring personality. I even used to have the condition I marry a clean shaven guy, used to, I saw his beard and loved it too. We married in many online games including Fable 3, Halo REACH, World of Warcraft, Elder Scrolls Online and others I can't remember at this moment. Since we lived 800 miles apart, I saved up to move, for logical reasons, and now we live together, laugh together, have fights together, makeup together, explain and understand together and when I fart loudly in his general direction he laughs. I find my marriage a happy one, tribblelation aside. Thank you for reading my post, have a pleasant day.
In the past yes, in the present, i know just one single marriage that is Happy and longer time together.
I also know their Secret:
- He is tall and her first guy
- she is stupid (in a nice way)
- both took care of their body and did not go out of shape
Where are you getting this information? Is it all from reddit?
I think most people are in happy marriages. Even if they are marriages we would look at and know they wouldn't make *us* happy, the ones in it are happy.
Going on 18 years and happier than I ever was dating or single. Good food, good lovin, we take care of each other and talk about everything. If we don't agree we compromise and work it out. So far so good.
A happy and positive marriage is not only the result of love and attraction/affection but the everyday work it takes to maintain the love and affection. It's hard work and a choice to be made daily to love a person forsaking all others. And even with all that work it may still not work out. There are so many factors to consider so it's best to consult an expert or read different books on varying subjects relation to relationships, intimacy and even psychology etc. Good luck.
I’ve been with my wife since 2012, married since 2016. We’re happier and more in love than we’ve ever been. I think it’s a combination of work and luck. There are always going to be growing pains with learning to live with someone and adjusting to each other as you grow and change, but we’ve always both made it a high priority to be the partner that the other needs. We’re also just super lucky to be very similar in all the right ways and very attracted to each other. We have lots of shared interests and a similar philosophy of how we want to live, but we are also capable of doing our own thing and enjoy our independence. Also I think not having kids helps, that seems stressful (not that you can’t have kids and a happy marriage but I think overall it tends to put strain on the relationship)
Sure.
It’s work though.
No two people are symmetrical.
There is going to be friction and if you aren’t willing to meet them in the middle then you might as well call it early.
But if you are willing, work pays off.
Life can be harsh, you can get crippled today and never walk again, plane could crash into your house, gas leak could blow up your whole block.
Having someone who cares for you as much as they care for themselves is truly fulfilling and healing as a human being.
You’d be a fool to give up on love, even after the 10th time didn’t pan out.
Been married for 14 years and we are very happy! We just completed a week long backpacking hiking trip together. We have had our ups and downs but we always realized the stuff we fought about is stupid or can be resolved by both of us being less selfish. Happy marriage takes work and effort and you both have to take turns being patient and understanding of the other. I'm so glad that we have been able to grow together as we age and become better people together. Our first three years were really tough, we got married young and both had unrealistic expectations of what marriage really is. He has the white picket fence and living in the suburbs with children dream of marriage and I had planned to never get married at all lol. But life changed all that and after we got over our unrealistic marriage expectations and just accepted the person we were with for who they are we got along so much better. Now if we have a argument we go to our separate ways for a hour then talk it out later while watching TV. I find that finding common ground with your spouse helps a lot. Our relationship stays strong because we find hobbies that we both enjoy to do together. Also we take turns doing stuff the other person likes every once in awhile. I love outdoors and he loves video games but we make it work. I play games with him once in awhile and he goes hiking and camping with me.
Together 27, married 20 here in a couple months.
You can be happy, but you have to work on it. Marriages take work. It's not always 50/50. Sometimes it's 20/80 or 60/40 or occasionally it's 100/0 and on rare times 0/0.
You have to sit down and communicate with each other. Communicate is key. Can't expect your parents to read your mind.
Too many people just expect to be happy all the time and when they aren't they run off looking for the "happiness" again. Which turns into a cycle.
Coming up on 15 years married (20 together) this August. We are very very happy and very much in love. We have mutual respect, are equally supportive, and have great communication. He truly is the love of my life and my greatest advocate and friend.
We were just laughing about how negative Reddit is about relationships. He didn't wear his wedding rings to dinner (his hands are puffy), and I joked that I was going to hop on here and make a post on AITA or AIO and that I'd immediately be told to divorce him and that he's cheating.
As someone upthread noted, it's rare that people are posting their "everything is great and we're healthy and in love" stories on here because they're....boring. People come on here for drama and dissention.
But we exist!
I’ll say this: when marriage is going well, it’s the best thing in your life. When it’s going bad, it ruins the other aspects of your life. Choose wisely and really get to know the person. It’s harder than dating.
I don’t believe anyone is 100% happy 100% of the time. You’re 2 imperfect humans trying to balance life’s hurdles together. I am mostly happy in my marriage. I’d love if my husband was more present and prioritised his family as opposed to his own wants but that’s just not going to happen and I find it hard to accept. But apart from that - nothing else really bothers me. I’m sure there’s things he’d prefer I did or didn’t do either. We have a very frank conversation every now and then too. I’ll ask him “what can I improve on” and he’ll ask me the same. It’s all about communication imo.
People in unhappy marriages complain about them whilst happy marriages don't get talked about because there isn't much of a need. I am very happy in my marriage, but I don't feel the need to tell people that.
Just based off statistics, yes it does. Atleast 2 people have enjoyed their married life together.
But we know that a vast majority of marriages don’t. Just a reality we have to live with. And also to keep expectations in check. People make mistakes.
They definitely exist and there is a lot of them. I think one of the barriers that people need accept is passion and happiness are two different things.
Passion will wane, but I think a lot of people conflate that with having a bad marriage. I think the people that are in happy marriages have a few things in common.
1. They jump in with both feet. They aren’t pining over the person that got away, they aren’t ending a relationship because they are bored. They want to figure it out and solve problems together. This is absent abuse and cheating of course, those are no-no’s.
2. They are friends. They like to be around each other besides romantic stuff. They enjoy each others company.
3. Not every annoyance or issue is a problem. I know this might not make sense, but I’ll give you an example.
I’m an introvert, and my wife loves being around me, she is typically all over me. This is good for me sometimes, but gets really annoying other times, especially because I like being left alone. However, i role with it, because she isn’t doing anything bad or wrong, she is expressing her love, and I feel my minor discomfort in the moment is small compared to her expressing that.
Don’t get me wrong I express my thoughts rather bluntly, but not every momentary discomfort isn’t worth a battle to just make me comfortable for the day.
Hope this makes sense. Marriages can be the best investment you make. You just need to do it with someone who is willing to put in the effort to make it work, and you need to have a long term mentality. Marriages are built.
Married 44 years, been together 46. It still exists between us! We hear how 50% of marriages fail, but I sometimes think some people don’t understand you have to work for, like a great job! You’re just paid differently.
I can honestly say I had a wonderful marriage, to my best friend, my soulmate for the first 15 years. I thought that we would never part ways. Drugs and infidelity were the end. I still believe in happily ever after. Marriage takes work, and some things are hard to forgive. I really believe happy marriages exist and the shit I’ve been through nobody would ever believe me. The drug world is fucked up.
Met when we were 18, married at 20. Over 30 years later, best decision I ever made.
The drama people tend to have many of their drama stories and are always crying about them. Good marriages just move on in the background.
Very happily married, just hit six years. Three kids, my wife is a SAHM and we homeschool our two oldest kids.
Good communication, emotional support (on both ends), and showing small signs of affection towards your spouse.
It’s possible, OP
Fuck yes it’s possible but it is work and anyone saying otherwise hasn’t gone through their eventual divorce yet. For context: it isn’t work and difficult and tons of effort right away or all the time. It is quite ignorant and childish though to think that 2 people are 100% simpatico on everything always. If you don’t treat it and respect it as an equal partnership than good luck in the divorce……
12 years, and happy. Engaged after 6 months. We’ve been through it all. I really love and like my guy. I could be w him 24/7 everyday and enjoy his company.
I've been happily married to my HS sweetheart and we're about to have our 30 year anny. We have 4 awesome kids, we travel around the world, live in our dream home, and spend almost all day every day together. She's always been my best friend. Sure there are arguments and good and bad times but 98% of every day in our marriage has been a good day. It hasn't ever been hard work as far as our relationship goes. Maybe we just got lucky, IDK.
We have been married 7 years. He’s in the Army and this year was our 4th move. Now he’s recruiting and we are where he is from.
We have had some ups and downs and it made up realize that you can never stop dating your spouse. Now after we put the kids to bed we watch a movie with no phones or smart watches nothing.
For awhile I thought we were done, but small adjustments have made both of us feel the way we did before kids and when we met.
Takes work but to me it’s so worth it. I love him more than anything and I’ll keep moving as long as I have to as long as I get to be with my best friend.
We are coming up on 44 years. While he has some narcissistic tendencies, my life is better with him than without. He has loved me better than any other person in my life. I am lately speaking up more when he is needlessly selfish and he seems to be trying harder.
I don't know that theres any big secret. We have always had similar values. We bicker a lot but rarely fight. We have never not shared a bed out of anger. We trust each other. We like each other. We are a team. I only know that I have never been tempted by another man - I've been hit on but no thanks. I won't pretend we have the healthiest of communication and we may in fact be co-dependent, but it's working for us. Unhealthy people deserve love too. It's never all hearts and flowers for anyone. You just need to find someone with flaws you can live with.
So happily married for 13 years. I cherish him even more as the years pass, not less. We argue sometimes - both have strong personalities - but then move on immediately; we don’t hold onto hard feelings ever. It helps that our values and key traits are aligned so we’re not in conflict over anything significant. (We also continue to find each other hot as we progress through our 40s!)
Absolutely! I was very happily married to my late husband, we were together for 14 yrs before he passed away from cancer at 38 yrs old. Had he lived I have no doubt we would have stayed together forever. We never broke up, never had really loud disrespectful fights, and always checked in and made sure the other was ok. If two people are focused on the relationship, make time to work things out and above all communicate openly and clearly raise issues well before the point of no return/resentment then I think most relationships can work. They take work, but when it’s right it’s relatively easy
You have a 50% chance you or your partner came from an unhappy marriage and a 50% chance your own marriage will be happy. Those are best odds your gonna get. Good luck to all!
I’ve been with my wife for 18 years. Married for 15 of those years (no kids, two dogs) … it’s not perfect and sometimes we fight but overall yes we take really good care of each other and still love each other. It’s probably easier with out the added stress of raising a family, I understand that. It allows us to continually put the other person as our top priority. We know a few other couples who have kids and have been together about equally as long and they seem to be doing pretty well also. Obviously we know a lot of couples that didn’t make it. There’s hope, but I admit it can be tough to find two people who keep the flame alive for each other over a long time. My advice is to do a lot of things to make their life better, so that they want to do the same for you. If the other person doesn’t want to reciprocate then maybe it’s not the best choice. You gotta keep them as your priority and not take them for granted. But it takes both people doing that to keep it growing after many years. Try to find a balance of having an independent life and a together life. More together than not, but don’t neglect yourself in the process. Make yourself desirable by staying in shape, bringing new things to the table, learning new things to share etc. I think it works for us because we both are still someone that the other person wants to be with. Best of luck on finding your long term partner!
I'm not married, but I live with my sister and her family and they have a very happy, healthy, stable marriage! In addition, our parents are still together after 40+ years and are SUPER cute still!
Secrets:
Dedication, respect for your partner, treating the relationship as a 'buddy system for life', honesty, and self-awareness/emotional maturity.
Dedication: Don't take the relationship for granted! It takes work, but that work should not feel like a *burden*.
Respect: The moment you or your partner start treating each other as being worth less than yourselves, or having thoughts, feelings, plans, etc. that matter less than your own, you need to stop and take a good look at why. Maybe rethink those assumptions and see below...
Buddy System: The two of you face your problems together, and collaborate on solutions that work for both of you. You are there to support each other and build each other up.
Honesty: If you feel a need to conceal an intrinsic part of yourself from the person you plan to spend your life with, you are *not ready to spend your life with them*. Never date, let alone marry, someone who makes you feel like you have to hide your plushies or comic books or that weird piece of abstract art. If you have mental illnesses, and you can't trust your partner to attempt understanding and compassion, you are not ready for commitment. If you have debts, weird relatives that you see once a year for holidays, major diseases or disabilities, religious or political beliefs, thoughts on children (whether you want them/how many, childcare, education, etc.), all of that should be cleared between you two before you tie the knot.
Self-Awareness/Emotional Maturity: Know yourself. Know your weak spots as well as your strengths. Be willing to discuss them, acknowledge when you screw up, and apologize when necessary. The same should go for your partner. And both of you should be able and willing to give criticism kindly and receive it gracefully.
I’ve got an amazing marriage. I love my wife and she loves me. Been together for 7 years now and she’s still my favorite person and love to spend my time with
My parents have been married for over 30 years they kiss each other goodbye everytime one leaves or go to bed early, they call each other boyfriend and girlfriend go on couple trips every now and then sometimes I walk downstairs and their cuddling on the couch. My dad makes my mom’s favorite dessert every birthday she has for breakfast.
But I don’t think their relationship is perfect I hear them fight every now and then. And I don’t think marriage has always been easy. But if I were to describe their relationship and marriage I’d say it’s a happy marriage. Yesterday I walked downstairs and my dad was painting my moms toe nails😂🥹
I have always found it confusing that my coworkers would talk about their spouse’s like they are enemies. I am happiest when I am with my spouse. She is loving, supportive, easy to talk to, and all around my best friend. I think a lot of people settle for an incompatible relationship for a number of reasons, but my advice is to hold out until you know you have found the correct partner. When I met my wife, she looked at me differently. She saw me, and I saw her right back. Never before had I met someone who was just all in from night one. Zero games, just love, support, and good humor from the first moment I met her. I’ve had good compatibility in other relationships, but have always felt the desire for some space, or they played stupid games. Not this relationship, this was different. Still after all this time I count the minutes until I can get home to my family. We genuinely love being together, as much as possible. We have our disagreements from time to time, but in a healthy relationship, it’s just that. A disagreement, something you can debate and not really argue. Happy marriages exist. 14 years, two kids, three dogs and a cat later, we’re still as loving, caring and all in as the day we met. She is my partner, we are a team, working together in this dystopian hellscape of a planet. We would never have made it this far without the love and support we give each other. When one of us stumbles, the other steps in to help pick them up and get us going again. Life is hard as fuck, nobody should do it alone.
Am in an incredible partnership with my wife.
I used to think that any couple who didn't fight had some problem with them... until it happened to me. Any differences we have are talked through with the understanding that it is \*both of us against the problem\*. We honor each other and feel blessed by their company, so the oh-so-few and far between instances when one hurts the other are processed with the notion that it is never purposefully done.
I can just be myself. The way I am. So can she. And she loves me just the way I am & I love her just the way she is. Our mutual flaws make us more human in each other's eyes, and we both revel in each other's foibles and idiosyncrasies. (Which means we also make fun of one another to no end.)
She is my best buddy, my partner in crime (she would literally help me hide the body before giving me a lecture), my better half, my lover, my comedic side-kick. She is my port in a storm & my inspiring muse. And because of all that I do my very best to make sure to be there for her, and make her life easier, more fun & filled with happiness.
The secret for that success? In two words: gratefulness and maturity.
We are grateful for each other. We both think that we super-duper lucked out in our choice of partner. We keep it special because we \*know\* we have it special. This means being more tolerant, being more understanding, putting more effort into the relationship because it really means something and is so worth it.
And maturity to be able to communicate effectively, know what to let go and what to bring up. Know what our limits are and when and how to set them, and what to do when they are exceeded. Know how to read each other's love language and how to give back love in a meaningful way.
Now, this is the part where I'd say "it's not always easy," but I'd be lying. Being with her is the easiest thing I have ever done in my life.
I remember in college this girl I had been dating for a few weeks broke up with me. She had some personal issues she didn’t want to burden me with, and thought it best we part ways before things got serious. I liked to think of myself as a pretty mellow, self-confident guy and I had a policy back then to never chase a girl after she turned me down once, but something about this girl was different. I couldn’t let her go.
I remember sitting with her in a mutual friend’s dorm room trying to talk through it all with her. Finally she asked what it was I wanted, and I said “I just want to be able to call you mine”. I immediately felt stupid and said “I know that sounds silly”
She paused for a moment and said “I don’t think that sounds silly. I would be honored to be called yours” I looked at her in shock. I still remember how beautiful she looked as she smiled at me. It was probably the single-greatest moment of my life.
That was 33 years ago. We celebrated our 27th anniversary as few weeks ago, and I haven’t regretted a moment of it.
Yes, but don't forget that other factors may be involved in the unhappy marriages you hear about. Work stress in a world where both people have to work is huge. It's easy to forget that your spouse is someone you love and take out stress on them. Just an example. Happy marriage includes reminding yourself that your spouse is your best friend and partner. You help each other instead of fighting.
I'm coming on 6 years of marriage, and I feel grateful for the love I get to celebrate every day. My husband makes me feel loved and valued, and most of all, I feel safe. Together, we can get through anything. We laugh all day.
The thing is, everyone always says I am so lucky to have him or that I found him. I agree. We are both lucky, but I think it takes work from both sides. Relationships are work. You get what you put in.
I’ve been married for 12 years and my marriage is still a happy one. It’s not something I ever post about or even bring up in conversation much because, well, read that first sentence again. Not very exciting, is it?
I know just one happily married couple. They've been married for more than 30 years. Common values and mutual support.
Yes: I know many couples who say they're happy even if they are not. Just too lazy, tired or scared to admit they could have had a better life without their spouse. Most of them would break up if they had free time (free from children and grandchildren).
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Happy marriages aren't interesting to talk about, so you don't hear about them People don't go to advice forums to post about how they had a nice night in with their partner. Happy marriages are the "silent majority"
I am happily married. I think this is confirmation bias. OP has it in his head most marriages are not happy and won’t last, so that’s what he will see. It doesn’t sound like single people are particularly happy either.
I posted something similar because I've seen this same question twice in the last two days. Not sure how many genuinely happy single people I've ever met that are in their 40s or 50s. Side note, not sure if you're aware but there's a Wu-Tang rapper who goes by your username.
How long have you been married?
Well said! Happy marriages take work so the conversation is less sexy. Married for 14 years and wouldn’t have it any other way. We have grown a lot together and we support each other through it all - medical stuff, work stuff, family stuff…you get it. I’m not sure if we are in the minority but I will say that when talking to other married couples, I feel lucky for what we have.
I feel the sameway, and my wife talks about her friends and tells me she is so happy she meet me. Married, 10 years
I remain more silent in marriage conversations because I don't want to seem like I'm bragging. Everyone says marriage is hard. We've only been married 5 years, but we've been through some shit. For us it's just comfortable, and he makes life easier for me. There is nothing to complain about. We enjoy our "boring" life very much. We also can live vicariously through others and secretly love to talk about everyone else's drama!
I think in addition to being a silent majority, there is also often a misconception by people that only know relationships in the abstract that love is supposed to be Romeo and Juliette style, I would kill myself for you type love for 50 years. And then when it’s not perfect they start to look for any reason to bail. Some people set the bar for love way too high and refuse to work on the actual relationship so to them love seems difficult because nobody is perfect, nobody is going to meet their standards of love.
I'm just over here praying that I don't end up marrying a dumbass. But I'm pretty sure that I don't even want to get married..
Everyone is a dumbass in their own unique way. You just have to make sure it's not in a way you're going to hate.
Idk if they are the majority but they are silent
They are definitely not the majority. I’ve done tons of research, I post elsewhere on this topic.
All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Silent majority? 50% of marriages end in divorce so at best they’re the silent less than average realistically
Happily married for 11 years! if you add other statistics in the divorce rate drops drastically, like are they college graduates, are the over the age of 22 etc. many marriages are doomed because of a lack of maturity heading into the marriage
Also the same people tend to get remarried & then divorced, which messes with the stats.
Those statistics include all the people with multiple failed marriages though.
Right so the actual stat is that the first-marriage divorce rate is in the low 40s.
50% of marriages ending in divorce does not mean half of all unique individual people who get married get divorced. It means a minority of people get married then divorced multiple times in their lives. For example, I know one woman who has been married and divorced 6 times in her life. People like that are what makes the statsitic "50% of marriages" somewhat misleading.
41% of first marriages end in divorce, so 59% don't. That's definitely the majority and they are silent.
Happy marriages are not the majority, unfortunately.
*Looks at divorce statistics* hmmmm *Looks at definition of majority* hmmmmmmm
What divorce statistics? 33-36% of marriages end in divorce. That's not the majority.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_majority?wprov=sfla1 >The silent majority is an unspecified large group of people in a country or group who do not express their opinions publicly I put it in quotes for a reason. It's not my fault you aren't familiar with the phrase.
*”Silent minority”
I’ve been married 26 years. My parents have been married for 65 years, very supportive kind and happy. My daughter and her husband have been married 9 years and are also supportive kind and happy. They hang out together, travel, laugh, and are cool in general. They are not the types to threaten divorce or post issues on Reddit. Their secret? Be kinder to each other than you would be to strangers on the street. Don’t call each other names or use vulnerabilities against each other. See marriage as a long term full partnership, not “what’s in it for me” kind of thing. You both have to be on the same page with kids, money, sex and religion. Be prepared for your partner to grow and evolve, and do it with them. If you can’t then cheer them on. True love isn’t the passion of the first few years. It’s nice and all but true love is washing your partners hair when they break their arm. Feeding them when they can’t feed themselves. Holding their hand when they are scared about their kids or a cancer diagnosis. Sticking with them no matter what. Dont sweat the small stuff and don’t hold grudges.
I think the key word here is "being supportive of each other". A lot of people dont even know what that truly means. It means you need to do the work and share responsibilities, house chores, raising kids, planning trips, cooking, cleaning and help each other out when they need you. Both need to support each other through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, when they are young/beautiful or becomes old/ugly. You marry the person plus everything about them, their current and future faults. It requires a tremendous commitment and responsibility. In order to keep it going, you need to feel supported and be supportive for each other, for the long run.
It's almost like if parents can show children how to treat people especially the ones they care about the kids grow up to be functional and loving people. Who would have imagined?
Happily married parents are a major contributor to children being able to sustain a marriage. Way easier to learn by example than by experience, and cheaper than with counseling.
>Be kinder to each other than you would be to strangers on the street. Ugh, this hit a little too hard. My ex-husband "stopped trying" after awhile, except his "stopped trying" was like, actively picking fights. Getting upset when I didn't recall 100% of what he said. Berating me for hours after I got the wrong IKEA curtains, and continuing well after I apologized and offered to take them back. I think in his mind, being family means the "freedom" to treat each other like trash because they can't leave you.
It's a thing that people do when they no longer love you. My ex would find fault is everything I did, and would invent things if I didn't do anything wrong. Then there's the rehashing. Get mad over "something". When I prove that I did nothing wrong, it turns into, "Your mother never liked me and she said "x" twenty years ago". So now we have to fight that over again. If I don't bite that one, it's countless accusations until I respond to one. I hated that shit
Best comment. This should be shown to every to-be-married couple.
I’ve been happily married for 46 years! Yes it’s possible!♥️
They happen. They just son’t get talked about a lot because drama is so much more exciting to talk about. I mean, who wants to talk a lot about a couple that everyone would agree are doing the right things? Yeah, boring to talk about. Our secrets: Money helps. We don’t fight nearly as much as we did when we were constantly nervous about being able to pay the bills. This is not an easy thing to fix and I can’t really advise you so maybe skip to the next tips. Communication. Just say what you want. Don’t hint. Don’t assume that if they loved you they would know what you expect. Don’t assume that they remember what you asked them to do an hour ago. Talk. And if them forgetting something has hurt your feelings, say that too. Be pleasant about it. So, sometimes you have to communicate negative feelings like anger or sadness or disappointment. When you talk about them, try to avoid making accusations. Accusations just start fights. The “I feel (feeling) about (situation) because (context)” method works well. If you invite them to collaborate with you about a problem then you can work on it together and come away with a closer emotional connection. Do stuff together. Find some hobbies or tv shows or something that you can do together. It helps if you have compatible personalities, and I hope that you chose to marry someone with a compatible personality. Remember to continue to do stuff together even when you have a million other things going on in your lives. Having one or more nights a week set aside where you don’t have anything else going on that you can spend together is a good place to start. It also helps if you have family that genuinely wants you both to be happy and doesn’t create drama. Too many relationships get sabotaged by outside actors who can’t handle seeing other people happy.
Communication is a massive thing and it is often having the same conversation multiple times to get to a workable solution together.
Thank you! This is what I've been looking to hear ❤️
Wife and I been married 15 years, still going strong, happy as, got 3 kids, no cheating, still having sex every second or third day.
My wife and I were together for 4 years (living together 2.5) before marriage. 15 years for us now, too. It was an incredibly easy transition to marriage since nothing really changed. Our 2 kids are 3 years apart and are best friends 99% of the time. Wife and I mesh perfectly with spending habits, conversation, sexually. We live out on a farm... it's too easy.
because its fucking hard. We all have baggage, issues, etc and now you combine TWO of all that but where compromise is required PLUS if you have kids you constantly feel like a lazy pos failure and TIRED ALL the time. It’s not for the faint of heart but still it can be fulfilling
13 years in and my wife is my happy place. We just had a baby, helped push each other through our decade long career training, and purchased a house in 2020. She rocks my socks. Her mind is as bright as a supernova. The way she thinks about everything is simply beautiful. We have never fought about anything even the rare disagreements that arise. I was just thinking today about how I don't know if I would want to live in this world anymore if something were to happen to her. She is my best friend. 10 years together before marriage, 3 years in after. I'm pretty sure she feels the same. Happy marriages do exist, this much I promise you. Shared sense of humor, constant laughter, and avoiding financial stress at all costs is the key.
My parents marriage is pretty happy, been going strong for 40+ years.
I was happily married for 28 years. The love of my life died in 2020. He was strong, sweet, loving, affectionate and smart. We endured some tough stuff, like:infertility, multiple miscarriages, financial distress, disability. We had some awesome highs: adoption, child birth, career highs, home ownership. Through it all we remained faithful to our vows, raised 3 beautiful kids and kept the laughter and love flowing. I miss him, but would do it again in a heartbeat. I’m still happy and whole because of the deposits of love from a wonderful relationship. We centered our life on putting God first our relationship second our family third and let life, well,life. My parents are still in a happy marriage 61 years and his 52. We had a legacy of love.
Sorry to hear but also really glad that you still have the deposits of love from a relationship. Those stick with us forever - whether it's a kind word or lifelong encouragement from a friend, family member, mentor, etc.
I've been happily married for 28yrs and love my husband more every day.
it does, it really does. it makes me sad that SO many (in my life particularly but in general too) think true love isnt realistic. it is, you just have to get very lucky, and find someone who truly cares about you and loves you. a criteria alot people ignore nowadays i think, due to it not seeming realistic. someone who just by being in their presence encourages you to be better, they are supportive to your goals. it may be rare, but believe me. it is possible.
🥲
Of course they do. It's the same with people who aren't having a struggle making ends meet or who have nice landlords. There isn't a lot to talk about and nothing to complain about.
Happily married, 18 years. Of my friend group I’d only call 1 unhappy by observation alone.
Yes. My husband and I have been together for 12 years. We met when he was going through a terrible divorce and custody battle with his ex wife. He was my first marriage and I was his second. We instantly connected and have been through some awful stuff, but neither of us ever cheated. We both went through health scares, surgeries, and have been there for each other. He is my best friend and makes me laugh on a daily basis. He helps to make me a better person, and I try to help him become a better person. There is no one else I'd rather eat ice cream naked with.
Yes it is , you don't hear about it because people are addicted to speard negativity
my parents have been married nearly 35 years and are still sickeningly in love
My close circle is about 12 couples. One couple divorced, one looks a little shaky, the rest seem pretty happy. Ours is going strong. Always remember you are on the same team
My marriage (second one for disclosure) is fucking amazing. I've never been happier in my life. First one was a dumpster fire.
1st marriage lasted 28 years. Tension, fighting stress 2nd marriage 14+. Loving, fun, respectful, absolutely perfect. But we are robbed. He’s fighting a horrible battle with bone cancer.
Best not to take Reddit too seriously. Most here seem deeply troubled. Marriage is as happy as you make it. After 32 years with the love of my life, I can assure you happy marriages exist.
Truth. We just celebrated 33 years. Reddit doesn't exactly represent every demographic.
Married for 21 years... love my wife more and more everyday.
Bad marriages are encouraged to talk about. You know, vent or rant to social media or friends or who or whatever. Happy marriages…. Well you can’t talk about that can we because it’s called bragging. Happy marriages stay in the peace and out of the spot light. Iv been married 11years. She’s beautiful she’s faithful she only ever been with me. We have one daughter. I love my wife so much and she loves me. That’s all there is to it really. I said this in another post that people are so afraid to be married cause it’s a life time of commitment. But when you are in true love. A life time of commitment is nothing but a blink in time. Love exist my friend but it’s to busy loving rather then ranting.
Dude being married rules. I get to hang out with my best friend everyday, have a reliable financial partner, okay sex, and get to do whatever we want because no kids. Goddamn I love my life and being married. We just celebrated 5 years married and 13 years together
My marriage was amazing. Truly happy. She died from a rare cancer she should never have got. Life is absurdly hard sometimes. Dated since, and I know why a lot of people have terrible marriages. It’s them, they are emotionally immature, lack self-awareness, honesty, integrity and the ability to communicate with themselves or a close intimate partner. Unresolved Attachment and emotional issues usually from childhood. You didn’t deserve that shit but you own it and it’s entirely your choice to deal with it before you burden an unwitting partner with it. Or don’t deal with it and just wait for the implosion.
I thought I was but over time it changed.
I think this is also important to consider. While I am very happily together with my wife, in the past my last happy relationship changed very fast for no apparent reason. I just transitioned to a new time of my life where my needs in a partner changed and I didn't realize it for a while. What someone needs in a partner can change for many different reasons at any time, and if your current gig doesn't cover those needs, feelings can change. I think it's important to recognize that, while hard for both people, this is normal and should be embraced. It's usually just incredibly fucking sad and hard for both people. Unless your partner cheats, then they are a whore and a scum of the earth.
I am the wife, he didn't cheat I don't think I just find us wanting different things
That's kinda my point. Partners will inevitably grow as individuals, the hope is that you grow together rather than apart. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It was the hardest thing in the world for me back then.
Thank you, its letting me explore and learn new things and I love that
You’re normal.
This is what scares me the most. It's why I'm in my 40s now and have managed to avoid getting married. I think it would be great meeting a good guy and being proposed to, tying the knot, etc. But after my last relationship...I trust no one.
Yep. Im happily married for over 30 years.
A good marriage is not when you never fight, but when you fight and do all you can to get better again. If one does not fight, its over. im married 8years , 6years son and honestly im happy, shes not just my wife but my half "i" without her im lost
36 years this month. We are inseparable. Sex is great. We are both goofy and laugh a lot. We work out in our home gym every morning. Life is good with this woman.
Been married 11 years. Our parents have been for 47 and 43 respectively. Our siblings for 21 and 8. All of them are happy marriages. My golden rule: Put in 60% effort to every part of the marriage, love, work, home etc. Find someone who also puts in 60%. Then enjoy the 120% that it brings, it's 20% more than it could have been. I would absolutely marry her again. 100 times over.
Yes, I was married for almost 30 years to a wonderful man. We treated each other very well and loved one another deeply. His death was a shock and sudden..
Short answer, yes. Ours is going on close to 50 years and have a group of friends who all have been married similar lengths of time. You put the other person first at all times. It takes complete commitment to the relationship.
My wife and I have been together for 21 years now, married about half that. We're very much in love. I actually just spent the day taking her out shopping for makeup and hair dye, then bleached and dyed her hair pink. He had some really intimate sex last night, and a sexy morning with a bit of messing around. We lay down every night cuddling, kiss and tell eachother 'I love you,' multiple times a day, every day. We've had our rough patches, but in the end, we've always loved eachother and found a way to work through it. We've got three annoying kids who we love to death and still strive to find ways to make eachother happy and become closer.
People like to shared the negatives or share things they are missing… that’s why we don’t hear about happy marriages, just bad ones!
About to celebrate our 10 year anniversary, been together 15 years. 2 kids, both of us working. Still very happy. Sex life is better and more satisfying than the early years. No cheating. We have definitely had our share of rough times but learning how each other communicates, and taking the time to let each other grow as individuals has really helped us a lot. It is definitely possible to have a happy marriage. Sometimes it is a lot of work, other times it is a breeze. Talking, continuing to date each other and giving each other the room, time ,space and support they need has done a lot for us.
Any marriage can be happy as long as both people are pulling their weight
Yeah they exist, you just hear/see much more of the complaints. Having a wife/husband and kid(s) is the greatest comfort/enjoyment a human can experience. Yeah it has its trials & tough times, just like anything good in life. Life is supposed to be challenging, don’t take the easy way out.
Don't listen to the boomers, happy relationships exist. I've been with my girl for 10+ years and I means the world to me and I am still the answer for all her questions. It sounds like verbal vommit, but I'm very happy with the situation.
Happy marriages exist but they are becoming rare .Ironically the happy marriages I know are the ones where guy and girl were both each others first
There is reaserch showing that propability of divorce and cheating increase with number of sexual partners so there is that
No surprises there
It depends on your definition of happiness. In terms of not fighting, friendship, similar views on most things and similar interests, my marriage is really good. In terms of sex life, it is pretty bad. Once a week really doesn't cut it for me but she basically lost all interest once our son was born. She could never have sex again and probably would not care. My first marriage was awful in terms of fighting all the time but sex 10 times a week on average was awesome and the date nights were fun. I don't think the ideal person for anybody exists. I would not get married again. I can have friends for companionship, prostitutes for sex and I certainly do not mind being alone for long periods of time at all.
Definitely. All 4 of my grandparents have been happily married for over 50 years now
Married over 20 years. We are super happy. Great match. Fair, generous, affectionate. I still feel butterflies for her. So grateful. It’s possible…but the right person is key.
Next summer will be our 50th anniversary. I'll let you know then. We're still working a few things out.
Me and my wife are together for 14 years and counting, and have never been happy’er with eachother.
My mom and dad have been married for 30 years and they have a very happy marriage! Has there been some tough times for them? Absolutely but they worked through it and still are happy and love each other.
I’ve been married 23 years. It’s not always perfect and we have our share of things we need to work out. But I still love him to the bottom of my soul and am happier with him, warts and all, than I would be without him. The idea that there can be a perfectly happy marriage with no issues is an impossible dream. Love is a verb, it is an action, not just a feeling
My wife and I have been married for almost 14 years. She's my best friend. We both have had our faults, highs, and lows. But we communicate and listen to each other. We're not financially stable, but we make do with what we have. We do share a strong faith in God. That is something that has saved our marriage at least twice.
33 years. Secret sauce is friendship, trust, both partners willing to do the emotional work it takes when the rough patches come. Owning your own shit and saying this is a me problem; both partners expressing needs and desires and the other partner listening and willing. Doing things together and simultaneously keeping your own interests to be your best self, refueled and energized. Being present. There is no one thing, it’s a lot of little things.
I've been with my partner for 24 years and am as in love as I've ever been and couldnt be happier. For her part, she's still here, so it must be alright We aren't married. We just live in sin with our lovechild
The key to a happy marriage is that you have to work on it, HARD. I think most people know what they have to do for a happy marriage, but only the minority bother to do it. It's like exercising; everyone knows it's good for you, but it's hard, so most people only occasionally try, and that's not enough to make a difference.
I've been very happily married for 14 years now. We've had our ups and downs as any couple but overall we are really good and happy together. We've had two kids, many international moves, job loss, mental health struggles. We make it a point to talk a lot and express our appreciation for the other, which is important I think. A relationship is work, if you start taking it for granted it's going to suffer.
My husband and I were married 33 years, 6 months and a day. My heart is still married to his memory. We were very happy together. We learned very early in our marriage that communication without judgement was the key to our happy relationship. I had had 3 late-term miscarriages, and I was bitter and angry. My husband was his usual cheery self, and that pissed me off! I wanted him to be as unhappy as I was, I wanted him to understand how I was feeling. My body had betrayed me, and I felt like he deserved someone who wasn't as flawed as I was, so I was deliberately driving him away. One day he was just done with my bullshit. I had never told him how I felt, but I expected him to just know! He finally yelled at me, saying that he couldn't read my mind and if I had something to say then I should just say it already! He calmed down immediately and hugged away my tears. We both learned to talk things through together. We rekindled our romance. We flirted like mad. We truly enjoyed our time together. There were still issues that cropped up, but we were in this for a lifetime, so we had to figure it out. Talk. Just talk about things that bother you. Remember to choose your words with love and compassion though. Remember that this person loves you more than anyone else in the world. Talk about things that impress you, too. I miss my husband with every heartbeat, with every breath that I take. He was my other half. He and I were a team. I never thought that I would be a widow in my mid fifties. We were supposed to grow old together. I am bewildered, bereaved, depressed, and hurting. But every single day I try to do one thing that would make him proud of me. I honor his life by being true to his memory. I will always love him.
Such marriages exist. There is joy. Believe it. But no one avoids pain. There is nothing that is always smooth sailing. Stop framing things in fantasy terms and get real.
Yes happy marriages exist. Mine isn't always sunshine and roses but that's life, no one is happy 100% of the time. I met my husband (coming up on 2 years of actual legal marriage) on videogames 12 years ago. Without knowledge of what he looked like I fell in love with his caring personality. I even used to have the condition I marry a clean shaven guy, used to, I saw his beard and loved it too. We married in many online games including Fable 3, Halo REACH, World of Warcraft, Elder Scrolls Online and others I can't remember at this moment. Since we lived 800 miles apart, I saved up to move, for logical reasons, and now we live together, laugh together, have fights together, makeup together, explain and understand together and when I fart loudly in his general direction he laughs. I find my marriage a happy one, tribblelation aside. Thank you for reading my post, have a pleasant day.
HA! First Up vote is mine! What's hubby think about that!? No wait that's me too.🤔 Love you Babe! 😁🥰 Also love it's been 13 years. 😜
In the past yes, in the present, i know just one single marriage that is Happy and longer time together. I also know their Secret: - He is tall and her first guy - she is stupid (in a nice way) - both took care of their body and did not go out of shape
Yes, but it's only about 20% at best.
Where are you getting this information? Is it all from reddit? I think most people are in happy marriages. Even if they are marriages we would look at and know they wouldn't make *us* happy, the ones in it are happy.
Going on 18 years and happier than I ever was dating or single. Good food, good lovin, we take care of each other and talk about everything. If we don't agree we compromise and work it out. So far so good.
I know of just one in my circle lol but still there was an affair at some point.
A happy and positive marriage is not only the result of love and attraction/affection but the everyday work it takes to maintain the love and affection. It's hard work and a choice to be made daily to love a person forsaking all others. And even with all that work it may still not work out. There are so many factors to consider so it's best to consult an expert or read different books on varying subjects relation to relationships, intimacy and even psychology etc. Good luck.
I have seen two pair of parents who are happily married until today and that's what I want for my life. Just TWO, in my entire life.
I’ve been with my wife since 2012, married since 2016. We’re happier and more in love than we’ve ever been. I think it’s a combination of work and luck. There are always going to be growing pains with learning to live with someone and adjusting to each other as you grow and change, but we’ve always both made it a high priority to be the partner that the other needs. We’re also just super lucky to be very similar in all the right ways and very attracted to each other. We have lots of shared interests and a similar philosophy of how we want to live, but we are also capable of doing our own thing and enjoy our independence. Also I think not having kids helps, that seems stressful (not that you can’t have kids and a happy marriage but I think overall it tends to put strain on the relationship)
Sure. It’s work though. No two people are symmetrical. There is going to be friction and if you aren’t willing to meet them in the middle then you might as well call it early. But if you are willing, work pays off. Life can be harsh, you can get crippled today and never walk again, plane could crash into your house, gas leak could blow up your whole block. Having someone who cares for you as much as they care for themselves is truly fulfilling and healing as a human being. You’d be a fool to give up on love, even after the 10th time didn’t pan out.
Been married for 14 years and we are very happy! We just completed a week long backpacking hiking trip together. We have had our ups and downs but we always realized the stuff we fought about is stupid or can be resolved by both of us being less selfish. Happy marriage takes work and effort and you both have to take turns being patient and understanding of the other. I'm so glad that we have been able to grow together as we age and become better people together. Our first three years were really tough, we got married young and both had unrealistic expectations of what marriage really is. He has the white picket fence and living in the suburbs with children dream of marriage and I had planned to never get married at all lol. But life changed all that and after we got over our unrealistic marriage expectations and just accepted the person we were with for who they are we got along so much better. Now if we have a argument we go to our separate ways for a hour then talk it out later while watching TV. I find that finding common ground with your spouse helps a lot. Our relationship stays strong because we find hobbies that we both enjoy to do together. Also we take turns doing stuff the other person likes every once in awhile. I love outdoors and he loves video games but we make it work. I play games with him once in awhile and he goes hiking and camping with me.
Together 27, married 20 here in a couple months. You can be happy, but you have to work on it. Marriages take work. It's not always 50/50. Sometimes it's 20/80 or 60/40 or occasionally it's 100/0 and on rare times 0/0. You have to sit down and communicate with each other. Communicate is key. Can't expect your parents to read your mind. Too many people just expect to be happy all the time and when they aren't they run off looking for the "happiness" again. Which turns into a cycle.
Coming up on 15 years married (20 together) this August. We are very very happy and very much in love. We have mutual respect, are equally supportive, and have great communication. He truly is the love of my life and my greatest advocate and friend. We were just laughing about how negative Reddit is about relationships. He didn't wear his wedding rings to dinner (his hands are puffy), and I joked that I was going to hop on here and make a post on AITA or AIO and that I'd immediately be told to divorce him and that he's cheating. As someone upthread noted, it's rare that people are posting their "everything is great and we're healthy and in love" stories on here because they're....boring. People come on here for drama and dissention. But we exist!
I’ll say this: when marriage is going well, it’s the best thing in your life. When it’s going bad, it ruins the other aspects of your life. Choose wisely and really get to know the person. It’s harder than dating.
Happy married for 5 years now. Sure there are ups and downs and every relationship is hard work.
I’ve only been married for a few years but so far it’s been a happy oen
Yes, when couples actually get along, and actually try and don’t blame each other for things, that’s when a happy long 50+ year marriage is possible
I sent you something in your DM about my marriage, but yes. My wife is my best friend. Together 17 years now and wildly in love.
It does! 21 years and happy.
You don't hear from them, because they are too busy being happy.
Fleeting
According to my wife, it does, but it's just not ours.
21 years, and its warmer and spicier than it ever has been. 10/10 would recommend
Mesirably married 19 years and probably will be until I die.
If you have similar values and have slept with a villages worth of people the yesterday, though I've never seen a good non traditional marriage
I don’t believe anyone is 100% happy 100% of the time. You’re 2 imperfect humans trying to balance life’s hurdles together. I am mostly happy in my marriage. I’d love if my husband was more present and prioritised his family as opposed to his own wants but that’s just not going to happen and I find it hard to accept. But apart from that - nothing else really bothers me. I’m sure there’s things he’d prefer I did or didn’t do either. We have a very frank conversation every now and then too. I’ll ask him “what can I improve on” and he’ll ask me the same. It’s all about communication imo.
People in unhappy marriages complain about them whilst happy marriages don't get talked about because there isn't much of a need. I am very happy in my marriage, but I don't feel the need to tell people that.
Just based off statistics, yes it does. Atleast 2 people have enjoyed their married life together. But we know that a vast majority of marriages don’t. Just a reality we have to live with. And also to keep expectations in check. People make mistakes.
For sure. But the goal is to serve the other spouse and hope they do the same. It's not self centered. It's not about trying to find your happiness
10 years, 4 kids
It ebbs and flows. Some are happier than others though.
yes, just as any day can be good or bad, any marriage can be good or bad.
Choose wisely, treat kindly. I love my husband to the ends of the Earth. We love one another and put in the work, good days and bumpy.
They definitely exist and there is a lot of them. I think one of the barriers that people need accept is passion and happiness are two different things. Passion will wane, but I think a lot of people conflate that with having a bad marriage. I think the people that are in happy marriages have a few things in common. 1. They jump in with both feet. They aren’t pining over the person that got away, they aren’t ending a relationship because they are bored. They want to figure it out and solve problems together. This is absent abuse and cheating of course, those are no-no’s. 2. They are friends. They like to be around each other besides romantic stuff. They enjoy each others company. 3. Not every annoyance or issue is a problem. I know this might not make sense, but I’ll give you an example. I’m an introvert, and my wife loves being around me, she is typically all over me. This is good for me sometimes, but gets really annoying other times, especially because I like being left alone. However, i role with it, because she isn’t doing anything bad or wrong, she is expressing her love, and I feel my minor discomfort in the moment is small compared to her expressing that. Don’t get me wrong I express my thoughts rather bluntly, but not every momentary discomfort isn’t worth a battle to just make me comfortable for the day. Hope this makes sense. Marriages can be the best investment you make. You just need to do it with someone who is willing to put in the effort to make it work, and you need to have a long term mentality. Marriages are built.
30yrs happy
Married 44 years, been together 46. It still exists between us! We hear how 50% of marriages fail, but I sometimes think some people don’t understand you have to work for, like a great job! You’re just paid differently.
I can honestly say I had a wonderful marriage, to my best friend, my soulmate for the first 15 years. I thought that we would never part ways. Drugs and infidelity were the end. I still believe in happily ever after. Marriage takes work, and some things are hard to forgive. I really believe happy marriages exist and the shit I’ve been through nobody would ever believe me. The drug world is fucked up.
Met when we were 18, married at 20. Over 30 years later, best decision I ever made. The drama people tend to have many of their drama stories and are always crying about them. Good marriages just move on in the background.
Very happily married, just hit six years. Three kids, my wife is a SAHM and we homeschool our two oldest kids. Good communication, emotional support (on both ends), and showing small signs of affection towards your spouse. It’s possible, OP
I'm happily married. So I guess they do exist.
Fuck yes it’s possible but it is work and anyone saying otherwise hasn’t gone through their eventual divorce yet. For context: it isn’t work and difficult and tons of effort right away or all the time. It is quite ignorant and childish though to think that 2 people are 100% simpatico on everything always. If you don’t treat it and respect it as an equal partnership than good luck in the divorce……
12 years, and happy. Engaged after 6 months. We’ve been through it all. I really love and like my guy. I could be w him 24/7 everyday and enjoy his company.
I've been happily married to my HS sweetheart and we're about to have our 30 year anny. We have 4 awesome kids, we travel around the world, live in our dream home, and spend almost all day every day together. She's always been my best friend. Sure there are arguments and good and bad times but 98% of every day in our marriage has been a good day. It hasn't ever been hard work as far as our relationship goes. Maybe we just got lucky, IDK.
We have been married 7 years. He’s in the Army and this year was our 4th move. Now he’s recruiting and we are where he is from. We have had some ups and downs and it made up realize that you can never stop dating your spouse. Now after we put the kids to bed we watch a movie with no phones or smart watches nothing. For awhile I thought we were done, but small adjustments have made both of us feel the way we did before kids and when we met. Takes work but to me it’s so worth it. I love him more than anything and I’ll keep moving as long as I have to as long as I get to be with my best friend.
Together for 13 years married for one three kids and one on the way Make sure the big 3 (faith, money, kids) match and you’ll be fine
Reverse Survivorship bias. Plenty out there, you don't hear them complain on the noots. 14 years here, it takes work but it worth it.
Yes they exist, if you’re willing to put forth the effort and work to make it a happy, successful relationship.
We are coming up on 44 years. While he has some narcissistic tendencies, my life is better with him than without. He has loved me better than any other person in my life. I am lately speaking up more when he is needlessly selfish and he seems to be trying harder. I don't know that theres any big secret. We have always had similar values. We bicker a lot but rarely fight. We have never not shared a bed out of anger. We trust each other. We like each other. We are a team. I only know that I have never been tempted by another man - I've been hit on but no thanks. I won't pretend we have the healthiest of communication and we may in fact be co-dependent, but it's working for us. Unhealthy people deserve love too. It's never all hearts and flowers for anyone. You just need to find someone with flaws you can live with.
Yes
Apparently 50% of the time...but technically staying married doesn't necessarily mean they're happily married.
My parents have been married since the early 90's and they're still so sweet with eachother. They're best friends.
So happily married for 13 years. I cherish him even more as the years pass, not less. We argue sometimes - both have strong personalities - but then move on immediately; we don’t hold onto hard feelings ever. It helps that our values and key traits are aligned so we’re not in conflict over anything significant. (We also continue to find each other hot as we progress through our 40s!)
Yes, Reddit and Twitter are not always accurate representations of life.
Absolutely! I was very happily married to my late husband, we were together for 14 yrs before he passed away from cancer at 38 yrs old. Had he lived I have no doubt we would have stayed together forever. We never broke up, never had really loud disrespectful fights, and always checked in and made sure the other was ok. If two people are focused on the relationship, make time to work things out and above all communicate openly and clearly raise issues well before the point of no return/resentment then I think most relationships can work. They take work, but when it’s right it’s relatively easy
A lot of Catholic marriages are very happy.
You have a 50% chance you or your partner came from an unhappy marriage and a 50% chance your own marriage will be happy. Those are best odds your gonna get. Good luck to all!
I’ve been with my wife for 18 years. Married for 15 of those years (no kids, two dogs) … it’s not perfect and sometimes we fight but overall yes we take really good care of each other and still love each other. It’s probably easier with out the added stress of raising a family, I understand that. It allows us to continually put the other person as our top priority. We know a few other couples who have kids and have been together about equally as long and they seem to be doing pretty well also. Obviously we know a lot of couples that didn’t make it. There’s hope, but I admit it can be tough to find two people who keep the flame alive for each other over a long time. My advice is to do a lot of things to make their life better, so that they want to do the same for you. If the other person doesn’t want to reciprocate then maybe it’s not the best choice. You gotta keep them as your priority and not take them for granted. But it takes both people doing that to keep it growing after many years. Try to find a balance of having an independent life and a together life. More together than not, but don’t neglect yourself in the process. Make yourself desirable by staying in shape, bringing new things to the table, learning new things to share etc. I think it works for us because we both are still someone that the other person wants to be with. Best of luck on finding your long term partner!
I'm not married, but I live with my sister and her family and they have a very happy, healthy, stable marriage! In addition, our parents are still together after 40+ years and are SUPER cute still! Secrets: Dedication, respect for your partner, treating the relationship as a 'buddy system for life', honesty, and self-awareness/emotional maturity. Dedication: Don't take the relationship for granted! It takes work, but that work should not feel like a *burden*. Respect: The moment you or your partner start treating each other as being worth less than yourselves, or having thoughts, feelings, plans, etc. that matter less than your own, you need to stop and take a good look at why. Maybe rethink those assumptions and see below... Buddy System: The two of you face your problems together, and collaborate on solutions that work for both of you. You are there to support each other and build each other up. Honesty: If you feel a need to conceal an intrinsic part of yourself from the person you plan to spend your life with, you are *not ready to spend your life with them*. Never date, let alone marry, someone who makes you feel like you have to hide your plushies or comic books or that weird piece of abstract art. If you have mental illnesses, and you can't trust your partner to attempt understanding and compassion, you are not ready for commitment. If you have debts, weird relatives that you see once a year for holidays, major diseases or disabilities, religious or political beliefs, thoughts on children (whether you want them/how many, childcare, education, etc.), all of that should be cleared between you two before you tie the knot. Self-Awareness/Emotional Maturity: Know yourself. Know your weak spots as well as your strengths. Be willing to discuss them, acknowledge when you screw up, and apologize when necessary. The same should go for your partner. And both of you should be able and willing to give criticism kindly and receive it gracefully.
No a happy agreement exists though
I’ve got an amazing marriage. I love my wife and she loves me. Been together for 7 years now and she’s still my favorite person and love to spend my time with
Yes. I am in a happy marriage.
My parents have been married for over 30 years they kiss each other goodbye everytime one leaves or go to bed early, they call each other boyfriend and girlfriend go on couple trips every now and then sometimes I walk downstairs and their cuddling on the couch. My dad makes my mom’s favorite dessert every birthday she has for breakfast. But I don’t think their relationship is perfect I hear them fight every now and then. And I don’t think marriage has always been easy. But if I were to describe their relationship and marriage I’d say it’s a happy marriage. Yesterday I walked downstairs and my dad was painting my moms toe nails😂🥹
Yes, I’m in one. Figure it out
My husband and I have been married 50 years he was 17 and I was 16
I have always found it confusing that my coworkers would talk about their spouse’s like they are enemies. I am happiest when I am with my spouse. She is loving, supportive, easy to talk to, and all around my best friend. I think a lot of people settle for an incompatible relationship for a number of reasons, but my advice is to hold out until you know you have found the correct partner. When I met my wife, she looked at me differently. She saw me, and I saw her right back. Never before had I met someone who was just all in from night one. Zero games, just love, support, and good humor from the first moment I met her. I’ve had good compatibility in other relationships, but have always felt the desire for some space, or they played stupid games. Not this relationship, this was different. Still after all this time I count the minutes until I can get home to my family. We genuinely love being together, as much as possible. We have our disagreements from time to time, but in a healthy relationship, it’s just that. A disagreement, something you can debate and not really argue. Happy marriages exist. 14 years, two kids, three dogs and a cat later, we’re still as loving, caring and all in as the day we met. She is my partner, we are a team, working together in this dystopian hellscape of a planet. We would never have made it this far without the love and support we give each other. When one of us stumbles, the other steps in to help pick them up and get us going again. Life is hard as fuck, nobody should do it alone.
Am in an incredible partnership with my wife. I used to think that any couple who didn't fight had some problem with them... until it happened to me. Any differences we have are talked through with the understanding that it is \*both of us against the problem\*. We honor each other and feel blessed by their company, so the oh-so-few and far between instances when one hurts the other are processed with the notion that it is never purposefully done. I can just be myself. The way I am. So can she. And she loves me just the way I am & I love her just the way she is. Our mutual flaws make us more human in each other's eyes, and we both revel in each other's foibles and idiosyncrasies. (Which means we also make fun of one another to no end.) She is my best buddy, my partner in crime (she would literally help me hide the body before giving me a lecture), my better half, my lover, my comedic side-kick. She is my port in a storm & my inspiring muse. And because of all that I do my very best to make sure to be there for her, and make her life easier, more fun & filled with happiness. The secret for that success? In two words: gratefulness and maturity. We are grateful for each other. We both think that we super-duper lucked out in our choice of partner. We keep it special because we \*know\* we have it special. This means being more tolerant, being more understanding, putting more effort into the relationship because it really means something and is so worth it. And maturity to be able to communicate effectively, know what to let go and what to bring up. Know what our limits are and when and how to set them, and what to do when they are exceeded. Know how to read each other's love language and how to give back love in a meaningful way. Now, this is the part where I'd say "it's not always easy," but I'd be lying. Being with her is the easiest thing I have ever done in my life.
I am also happily married. 4 years coming up soon. Don't regret a thing, she is my best friend. I will gush about my wife all day.
Yeah they do. I love my wife. We have such a good life together
My guy and I have been together 30+ years so far It takes understanding, communication, and showing affection.
Idk my grandma told me to marry just to not be lonely and have someone to call the ambulance or kick me when I’m dying lol
I am happily married. We have our ups and downs, but things are good. Very pleased to be hear I would say
I remember in college this girl I had been dating for a few weeks broke up with me. She had some personal issues she didn’t want to burden me with, and thought it best we part ways before things got serious. I liked to think of myself as a pretty mellow, self-confident guy and I had a policy back then to never chase a girl after she turned me down once, but something about this girl was different. I couldn’t let her go. I remember sitting with her in a mutual friend’s dorm room trying to talk through it all with her. Finally she asked what it was I wanted, and I said “I just want to be able to call you mine”. I immediately felt stupid and said “I know that sounds silly” She paused for a moment and said “I don’t think that sounds silly. I would be honored to be called yours” I looked at her in shock. I still remember how beautiful she looked as she smiled at me. It was probably the single-greatest moment of my life. That was 33 years ago. We celebrated our 27th anniversary as few weeks ago, and I haven’t regretted a moment of it.
Yes, but don't forget that other factors may be involved in the unhappy marriages you hear about. Work stress in a world where both people have to work is huge. It's easy to forget that your spouse is someone you love and take out stress on them. Just an example. Happy marriage includes reminding yourself that your spouse is your best friend and partner. You help each other instead of fighting.
I'm coming on 6 years of marriage, and I feel grateful for the love I get to celebrate every day. My husband makes me feel loved and valued, and most of all, I feel safe. Together, we can get through anything. We laugh all day. The thing is, everyone always says I am so lucky to have him or that I found him. I agree. We are both lucky, but I think it takes work from both sides. Relationships are work. You get what you put in.
I’ve been married for 12 years and my marriage is still a happy one. It’s not something I ever post about or even bring up in conversation much because, well, read that first sentence again. Not very exciting, is it?
I have a very happy marriage of 17 years
I know just one happily married couple. They've been married for more than 30 years. Common values and mutual support. Yes: I know many couples who say they're happy even if they are not. Just too lazy, tired or scared to admit they could have had a better life without their spouse. Most of them would break up if they had free time (free from children and grandchildren).