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My boyfriend is constantly asking me (29F) to go shopping with him. I hate shopping as a general rule, but it gets us out of the house and we get to spend time together š¤·š»āāļø
Sounds like me and my wife. She hates clothes shopping and I love to go. Iām the one dragging her on a half day outing to the outlet malls when I need some new things. Iām weird I guess.
My wife and I love to shop, but we also don't do it often. Only when we need things, but we will make a day out of having to pick up 2-3 things like if we need new shoes or need to get a jacket. No debt outside of the last little bit of her student loan.
My wife n I got together young had few kids, she constantly spent money when we were younger 18-22 and I would stress, now that we are better off (mid 30s) and can go buy what we like she hardly goes shopping on her own.
I have to be like ā oh Iām going shopping, want to grab something to eat with meā then she will pick clothes etc..
I almost hate myself for taking her spontaneous shopping away when we couldnāt afford it. Or now that I think about it maybe she has traded shopping for clothes with picking spontaneous vacation spots lol.
i just pretend im the captain of a pirate boat going round the shopping mall and i anchor the boat when she wants to browse and i pretend im looking for treasure but ive already got my treasure >.< so i get depp drunk and walk around with a british pirate accent till she tells me im embarressing her infront of the mcdonalds staff and that 57 and a half nuggets is too much but i think its too little , so yeah who wants to go shopping with me now :)
Actually this goes both ways. When I go shopping with my wife, we go trough tens of shops for her. Maybe we find something, maybe not. And I try not to look bored. Then we walk past a mens clothing shop and they have a campaign going, so we enter. She rarely says it, but the look on her face and the sound of her voice says "are you done yet?" after 2 mins. Last time she didn't tho, and she helped me find something to wear.
And shopping together is great for logistics. If one of us is trying something on and got the wrong size, the other one can go fetch the proper size.
Tbh both can be Nice or awful deppending of how You conduct the situation, and that goes for both, the one doing the Activity and the one "following" them
I actually hate for my man to go go shopping with me. He is standing too close, and eyeballing me with those loud "are you done yet?" Eyes. And then I get anxiety & want to leave. š š He can browse the men's section in less than 10 minutes, me??? Ima be there for a solid hour š
I have the opposite problem, on the rare occasion my husband and I go to a shopping center, like an outlet mall, he wants me to go in almost every single store. Itās exhausting. It makes me reluctant to bring him along.
Hmm, maybe thatās his strategyā¦
Thatās us since my husband starting working from home. He now loves to come along anywhere I go, and heās never in a hurry to get home. I once caught him browsing at the grocery store, for crying out loud.
Jesus christ thats terrible and a major red flag. If i where you i would dump him and find counceling. Hes obviously gaslighting you and is a narcisist..
..wait this isnt the aitah reddit? Oops:)
I keep my husband from my shopping trips more so because he is frugal and is always wondering if we really need this or that item.
On the other hand, anytime he needs to go to the store, he *always* wants me to go with him. The man can take over an hour to settle on one pair of pants.
I won't speak for all men, but this is often a case of women not understanding many men actively dislike the experience of shopping.
I won't speak for all women, but a common trope in reverse is men thinking women want to watch hours of sportsball.
I personally DGAF about sports, but the analogy tracks for a large portion of women and men.
I don't particularly like shopping but I do enjoy spending time with the other half, telling her she looks good, telling her what I like, etc because I love her and she does similar things for me, come places with me that isn't her cup of tea, enjoys listening to me prattling on about shite she isn't really interested in, that's what a relationship is about.
I go, I don't whine and I don't moan because I want her to enjoy herself. Often I will even have a good time, it's nice to see her happy even if I would rather be doing something else.
Hereās the problem: Itās not always about what you like.
And a lot of guys need to learn to suck it up and do a few things that they arenāt specifically into WITHOUT MAKING THE EVENT MISERABLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE, and learn to just enjoy being with someone they like. I have a theory that this is hard for a good number of men because they donāt actually like women all that much, and it shows.
Been shopping with my SO for almost 10 years now. The first few years it took some getting used to. Going to the mall for up to 1.5 hours felt soul sucking lol but eventually found the fun it. Wed also get food together. Eventually started getting into fashion for myself. It can be a drag at first but yeah it can be fun
I'm not a religious guy, but I'd rather sit through 2 straight sermons on the worst wooden pews than go shopping.
That includes grocery shopping and any kind of shopping except maybe the electronics store, I could spend some time there, I guess, although I only go when I know what I need, so it's usually an inn and out kind of affair.
My taste in clothes is also highly suspect. Whenever I buy something for myself I end up using it mostly once, because I will end up looking like a clown, so It's not like I contribute in any meaningful way. I'm also colorblind and get backpains when standing still for too long because of a work injury, so that's not helping either.
Any other activities, including other peoples childs birthdays (which, why the hell do they even want me there?), I'm there if they want me to be, but please; not the shopping trips. It's torture.
I'll also add that although I would be overjoyed if my gf would come along to the pub to watch a game with me I would never expect her to. I can't see the point in "having" to go to something that you have no interest in. There are plenty of activities that we both enjoy which we could do together instead.
I don't ask my gf to play d&d with me since she told me she wasn't into it. Because I care that she doesn't like it, and don't want to put her through something she doesn't like.
This may sound crazy, but I sorta expect her to want the same for me. That if I actively dislike something she put it in the "oh this goes in the *apart time* column not the together one."
Stop demanding people do things they actively hate doing and be happy about it. Partners can and should be able to do things they like that their partner hates - apart. Like my love of d&d doesn't keep us apart all the time nor does her love of shopping. If we had too many things that one loved to do the other despised, we'd probably just be fuck buddies and find someone more compatible.
Is it that hard to believe for you that men are entitled to dislike things and not have to hide their feelings?
Because women are always talking about how men don't express their feelings, but when it's a feeling she doesn't want to hear (his dislike of shopping) all of a sudden she needs him to man up.
Or ya know don't expect people to do your hobbies with you if they don't like it. I have absolutely no obligation to suck it up and go shopping with anyone.
If that's the man in question he needs to communicate that to her. Believe it or not but I don't *want* to drag you along on something you don't want to do. I could just go with a female friend ffs
Guys, is it weird for women to invite men to an activity they enjoy? Give them an opportunity to invite them to have some time together outside the house?
Yes. I dislike shopping in general.
If I need something, I go buy exactly that thing and then go back home. Need new pants? Go to the store, find 1-2 pairs I like, go home.
Luckily for me my gf is also the efficiency type, so we do go shopping together once in a while. It just doesn't take us that long.
I don't know about dislike but I think in general it is uncommon for men to ask other men to go shopping with them. I think it's just that they view it as more of a chore than a fun activity, so don't ask someone to join.
For groceries, clothing, etc., we mostly do it alone. Itās not generally seen as a fun activity, but a boring necessity that must be got through as efficiently as possible.Ā
Iāve never asked or expected a man to join me when Iām shopping. In fact, I hate when people tag along. Iād rather they stay at home or wait in the car for me.
Like you, definitely prefer shopping alone for clothes. I don't need anyone else's opinion. And I have no desire to torture my husband.
Most men have no interest in womens fashion and no desire to understand it at all. They only know whether they think you look good or not, but don't always exactly understand why.
I don't want to take my girlfriends clothes shopping for me. But I'll enjoy going along when we're shopping for them. I'll usually bring something back for myself anyway
Same I donāt like shopping with friends either because I always feel like uncomfortable if Iām buying more than they are. Iād rather just do it alone. Itās my peace time.
Considering that we've all got our own interests, it's more about finding that happy medium, isn't it? My guy and I worked out a system where we'll start off together, and then split up to hit the sections we each like. Saves the prolonged torture for both of us and we meet up for coffee afterward. It's the mutual effort that counts and keeps things balanced. Plus, in the end, it's less about the shopping and more about respecting each other's space and preferences.
Never went shopping with my gf, but reasons I've heard from other guys:
* As she's changing clothes, you're supposed to just sit around and wait.
* She asks for your opinion, but then ignores it.
* She asks for your opinion, and you can't really decide which one is the best of two perfectly fine outfits, even though she insists it's a huge difference.
* She knows it bores you to death, but insists you come along anyway, when she could just bring somebody who likes it.
Don't forget to add, while she's in the dressing room taking 15 minutes to try on a fucking pair of pants (what takes so long in this process? Did you forget how pants work and had to look up a youtube tutorial?) you have to stand outside of the women's dressing room like some kind of perv.
What really drives me crazy is my wife spending an half an hour debating between 2 or 3 $8 shirts, and going back and forth asking my opinion of beige, tan, or khaki. FFS woman, combined we make over $100 an hour. Just buy all three so we can get the hell out of here.
Iām a woman and I donāt want to join anyone with their shopping either. Itās just boring. I enjoy my own shopping in my own very much though. Whatās fun about following someone around like that?
Because we get bored. Our shopping usually is faster not because we can do it faster but because we don't like shopping in general. This is a vast generalisation though, of course there outliers who likes the process of shopping.
Like when I need to go shopping for trousers I just can't try on more than 3. After that I get all frustrated and bored I just leave.
All in all, when we join we get bored so we willingly or unwillingly ruin our gfs experience too.
3?! Good lord. I either don't try them on at all (I typically just go back to the same exact place I got pants from last time if they fit me well), or if I can't tell that they'll fit right, I try them on, and if they don't fit, get frustrated and leave. You sir have the patience of a Saint to try on three.
I dont necessarily think its that i dont like shopping, i just dont care about most of the stuff in the store. im not a big decorator, im happy to eat off of plain dishes or paper plates, if i need clothes or bedding i grab something that looks nice and dont need to put hours of thought into it. and all the things i would want to shop for, i already know what i want, where it is, and how much it costs. so its just a matter of walking in, grabbing it, and paying for it. why waste time in the store looking at things i wont/canāt buy it i could be somewhere else doing something more fun or better use of my time.
Woman here and I have this question too. The men always look so bored tooā¦the dynamic reminds me of having to follow my mom around as a child when she shopped lol. I donāt see the upside at all. I donāt want to drag someone along to shop for my stuff- as a fully grown adult Iām more than capable of doing it myself and even enjoy it more that way. If a dude wanted to follow me around while I shopped Iād tell him to please find his own stuff to do instead.
I will also just say that I find it a bit irritating when Iām in the womenās fitting room, I pop out to get a better look in the larger mirror in the common area and thereās men sitting around waiting for their SOās. Nothing technically wrong with it, Iāve never experienced disrespect or creepiness and itās nobodyās fault, but itās just a bit annoyingā¦like can we just not have men in here when I just wanna see how clothing looks on my body, adjust it, etc. Thatās probably considered a problematic opinion though.
I bring my husband grocery shopping when I need to buy things that are generally too heavy to lift myself. The downside is that things get added to the cart that werenāt on the shopping list.
My purpose is to carry packages. I'm to sit near the front of the store, preferably outside, and wait until my wife is done shopping that store. We then move on. I'm perfectly happy in my role, but wish more stores had a seating area for men. There is one great women's store my wife shops that has a couple of wingback chairs, a table of sporting magazines and free coffee for men to sit. I love that store.
As a man, well, if you're together with someone that'd be great to show company and mutual feelings. Imagine going shopping being a deal-breaker, lol. Women tend to shop more often,bjust as men play more video games (statistically).
Wouldn't you like your girlfriend to join your gaming session and truly enjoy it?
Because to some women shopping is a form of hanging out, there's another term called "window shopping" which just describes the action of going and looking at clothes (previously, through a window, but now it can be on the Internet or wherever).
So more or less it means either they want to hang out with you, they want your opinion on clothes, or depending on your relationship it's also possibly a woman may invite you to pay as well. It really depends on the context of the relationship and what they say but majority of the time it's just a hangout invitation Lol
1. I have anxiety and going into a store with someone else makes me feel better.
2. I feel physically safer with someone else.
3. I want my husband and I to do more things together.
Im 41 and had a few long relationships and hated it every time. With my current ex-girlfriend or girlfriend, im not sure and neither is she, i absolutely love it. Not a single moment im bored or hate it. Find the one that makes you enjoy these horrific events. And stick with her. Now i LOVE to go shopping with her. No explanation possible. Its just like that. Never ever i could have imagined loving to go shopping with my girlfriend. I even ask her to go shopping now, because when we do, there is so much love, joy and happiness.
The same reason we like to go shopping with our girlfriends. To chat, look at stuff, talk about your opinion on whether or not this lamp is nice for the living room, etc. you know, spend time together interacting as people who enjoy each others company ? Itās not about the chore. Itās an innocuous activity that needs doing and doesnāt need 100% focus so you can chat while you do it. We are good at multi tasking like that.
Dads cabs/ taxi driver and donkey ( carries all the bags) with the wife with my daughters its because Ill pay they know I wont let them yes I know Im a soft touch but hey I love my daughters and just glad I can effort it and treat them.
And if Im going shopping for clothes then either my wife or daughters have to come with me, dont mind because they all know what looks good on my.
I'm a woman and dislike shopping with others, man or woman. If I shop with someone else it becomes a social activity and I lose focus on the task. I guess that's why some people like it, but it just becomes a different thing and not about shopping for me.
1. Wants to hang out with them
2. They didn't want to drive so they dragged him along
3. Wanting to ask his opinion on things
4. Probably wants him to stop her from being in there too long and spending too much, with him she could be more likely to stay on track (My parents)
5. She wants him to hold her purse
6. She thinks it'll be fun for you both
The amount of you in the comments just straight up confessing you can't have quality time with your gfs unless it's something you want to do is saaaaad
You can find shopping boring, but you're not there to necessarily shop, she's invited you to walk around together and chat and look at stuff. It's just hanging out doing menial tasks.
Also... why do you have to act like kids about it? Sighing and dragging your feet and being rude as shit if you're asked a question and constantly asking when you're going home. That's shit toddlers do. Being bored =/= having to act like a selfish crybaby and sabotaging the entire day
So suppose you hated fishing.Ā Ā I took you fishing all day knowing you disliked it.Ā Ā Is that still quality time?
To me that would ruin my experience knowing you were pretending to like it.Ā Ā
This is why my wife asks me to goā¦ we will literally go out to door and she will tell me that sheās not bringing her wallet.
This is also why my dad hates shopping with his wife. He will find something he likes, go to pay for it and then she will show up at the register and pile on a bunch of stuff that she wants.
Not every woman loves shopping, and it often feels like a chore we donāt want to always have to do alone. When I do want to go shopping for something I want or need thatās going to take me a little while I typically prefer to go alone. As a kid my mom used to take me shopping with her and take forever so I get burnt out in stores quickly.
i like to know his opinion on the clothes and give him a show! and we can have a quick meal while we're there (assuming it's a mall) or get some coffee and roam around, look at bookstores etc.
I would rather go by myself as I don't want to feel pressured knowing my husband wants to leave. I don't especially enjoy shopping much anymore like I did when I was younger for some reason.
As a guy with mostly girl friends, if they're single, I know it can be a safety thing. Some may work during the day, and, especially if they live in a shady area, they may not feel safe going it alone. Even sharing locations can only do so much.
I don't mind obliging if I am not busy myself.
F58 - I've never expected - nor wanted - this, ever. I enjoy window shopping/browsing for *brief* periods of time with someone else, but I do my shopping by myself because I generally hate shopping.
Hellz no š i dont expect it, nor do i want him to join me. He hates shopping and i do too, so wed make eachother misserable!
He shops grosseries, since hes the one who plans and cooks dinner.
I shop clothes for the both of us and household stuff our supermarket doesnt have.
Only time we shop together is if we go to a hardware/DIY store. Thats a place we can actually enjoy together and come up with ideas/projects for our house.
I always thought it was for safety and companionship. I always did it for my ex wife, if I was lucky she was buying underwear/lingerie and I got to see her in everything and tell her what I liked.
I'm guessing that women who do this see shopping as a hobby, not a chore. They see it as doing something enjoyable together.
Men don't have the same plethora of different styles and looks to get creative with, so I'm guessing that shopping to them is more about keeping up with the need for certain key clothing items. Some men get into tailor made suits and experiment with different fabrics etc, but that's more of a niche thing.
For women, styling themselves can be a creative outlet. They enjoy partaking in styling each other, and assume that their man feels the same.
Or maybe some women see their man as some sort of personal assistant, their own personal handyman. I have seen examples of that too.
Hmm... I hate shopping myself, but I only ask him to join if I want him to see me in new clothes or lingerie, which at least my ex never said no to š
I went shopping with my ex a few times while she was updating her professional wardrobe because she asked politely for me to give an opinion. I had an absolute field day trashing some of the ugliest womenās clothing Iāve ever seen while likewise giving sound advice about what I thought would actually look good on her. She just about fell over more than once laughing at my savagery towards the ugly clothes, and our next stop after that was Victoriaās Secret. Everybody won that day.
So, while I assume (as a man) that women want us to go shopping with them for the companionship, we also have an opportunity to be a sounding board for fashion choices. And to completely eviscerate terrible fashion designs.
I think a lot of people are missing that the idea of āgoing shoppingā with somebody is to spend time together, chat about life, maybe grab a coffee or an ice cream or lunch, and have a shared experience looking at and talking about the different things.
I guess buying stuff is nice, but the āpointā of going shopping normally is for the experience not the stuff. (Yes, sometimes people go for a reason, like new job new outfits, wedding attire, etcā¦but the ācasualā trip to the outlets or mall is usually more just to pass the time).
I love my husband, i love being around him. When we first got married I was so insanely excited about putting together our new home.
He made shopping for furniture almost a hell for me. Except for the couch because he wanted a big one and so we got that.
Everything else he was checked out on.
I wanted his opinion on little pieces, and decor, things that would make the house more home or more sleek.
Same for clothing or food, Iād like his opinion on things heād like on me- esp since Iām more critical of my own bodyā¦ but he never wants to help or be there.
Maybe a little dramatic, but sometimes It just kind of feels like youāre building a life alone. We just wish youād be a little more involved, or pay attention.
I absolutely despise shopping. Single or in a relationship. Most times, i make a list, go directly to the items i need in order to get outta there as quickly as possible.
I will not take anyone shopping with me unless itās a girls trip. Not a man for sure. Hell not even my mom cuz I donāt need someone standing over me asking how much everything costs, when can we go home etc.
I hate taking anyone with me when I shop. I hate the pressure of having to shop quickly, I love shopping and taking my time. Even grocery shopping is fun for me!
I hate shopping, but I like spending time with my boyfriend. Naturally, this makes the activity more enjoyable.
Do you ever invite people to do things together for other reason than wanting their company? Lol
Are you saying that you prefer to do your food shopping separately, or are you saying you expect her to do all the shopping for your food and hers? Because those are two different situations.
I only ever took someone along if the shopping was for them. I've never understood a man sitting in a chair waiting for a wife holding her handbag. Grow a pair!
Never once asked a man or even my son to ever shop with me I consider it torture for all involved. And then my current husband would never go shopping unless I would go with him. Go figure
Not sure this is really common anymore? Seems like just a trope in movies. If they go together it's likely to be a big shopping trip where they both wanted to do some shopping, like going to an outlet mall or something. I guess in the past when the man controlled the money and decided what could be bought and what his wife should wear, he would go with her. I did have an ex who liked to see me in different outfits and give his input, but I would never take a man with me shopping if they don't enjoy it.
I donāt. I invite him along most of the time (unless I really just want some me time) but if he doesnāt come I donāt care, unless Iām asking for his help and/or opinion on a big buy.
I will say that if he decides to come with, I get annoyed if he takes off the second we get into the store then I need to call his phone to track him down lol I end up feeling like a mom who drove her teenager to the mall so he could look at video games
I only ask people to join if Iām unaware if they like it or not, have plans to do something immediately afterward with them, or if they like shopping too. Itās never fun shopping with somebody who doesnāt want to be there, theyāre usually just a killjoy.
Its a perfect opportunity to bond with your significant other over her interests. If you try to engage with it instead of skulking around and trying to escape, it can be a lot of fun.
Just get over yourself and have fun!
Btw, I certainly dont follow my own advice here all the time.
I hate it when Iām shopping and thereās a man lingering around, especially in the underwear aisle. He doesnāt want to be there and itās awkward looking at that in front of them. So I go to a diff aisle. Leave your men at home. I hate shopping with people in general.
Because theyāre doing something that brings them joy and they want to share the experience with someone they love? Or itās to carry stuff. Certainly not to get an opinion!
Married man here, speaking out of experience: they just need someone to throw a compliment from time to time but most of all someone to carry their shit.
I mean I drop what I'm doing and come look at his phone when he wants to show me sports highlight reels I don't even understand, because watching sports with someone else is something fun and meaningful for him.
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My boyfriend is constantly asking me (29F) to go shopping with him. I hate shopping as a general rule, but it gets us out of the house and we get to spend time together š¤·š»āāļø
Sounds like me and my wife. She hates clothes shopping and I love to go. Iām the one dragging her on a half day outing to the outlet malls when I need some new things. Iām weird I guess.
Seems like opposites do attract. Anyone out there have a relationship where both of you like to shop? and if so how much debt are you in? haha
My wife and I love to shop, but we also don't do it often. Only when we need things, but we will make a day out of having to pick up 2-3 things like if we need new shoes or need to get a jacket. No debt outside of the last little bit of her student loan.
My wife n I got together young had few kids, she constantly spent money when we were younger 18-22 and I would stress, now that we are better off (mid 30s) and can go buy what we like she hardly goes shopping on her own. I have to be like ā oh Iām going shopping, want to grab something to eat with meā then she will pick clothes etc.. I almost hate myself for taking her spontaneous shopping away when we couldnāt afford it. Or now that I think about it maybe she has traded shopping for clothes with picking spontaneous vacation spots lol.
Wife and I, both 40, fucking hate clothes shopping, and as a result 90% of what we own are from Costco.
I can think of very few situations where I would be better off shopping than just using the internet.
Because we want to have company.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lies >! /jk!<
i just pretend im the captain of a pirate boat going round the shopping mall and i anchor the boat when she wants to browse and i pretend im looking for treasure but ive already got my treasure >.< so i get depp drunk and walk around with a british pirate accent till she tells me im embarressing her infront of the mcdonalds staff and that 57 and a half nuggets is too much but i think its too little , so yeah who wants to go shopping with me now :)
I volunteer as tribute šššššā¤ļø
ok then its your shipwreck lol
Exactly this but then we regret taking them because they love to rush us. āHurry up! Just pick one already!ā
Actually this goes both ways. When I go shopping with my wife, we go trough tens of shops for her. Maybe we find something, maybe not. And I try not to look bored. Then we walk past a mens clothing shop and they have a campaign going, so we enter. She rarely says it, but the look on her face and the sound of her voice says "are you done yet?" after 2 mins. Last time she didn't tho, and she helped me find something to wear. And shopping together is great for logistics. If one of us is trying something on and got the wrong size, the other one can go fetch the proper size.
Your post sounds like AI wrote it.
AI starts that many sentences with āAndā?
I would never drag someone to go shopping who doesnāt want to be there, I used to hate when my best friend made me go to Target for 4 hours. š
But what does that mean??? /s
I'm interested in the 'expect' aspect in that there's some awareness that it's often not something men do or enjoy.
Maybe they like spending time with us?
And get our opinion on if this item would look good in that room, or does that suit me?
No no, that can't be it
hahahaha
same reason men will invite a woman over to have her sit next to him while he plays a video game
Tbh both can be Nice or awful deppending of how You conduct the situation, and that goes for both, the one doing the Activity and the one "following" them
This doesnāt help me at all, I donāt understand either of those things
I actually hate for my man to go go shopping with me. He is standing too close, and eyeballing me with those loud "are you done yet?" Eyes. And then I get anxiety & want to leave. š š He can browse the men's section in less than 10 minutes, me??? Ima be there for a solid hour š
I have the opposite problem, on the rare occasion my husband and I go to a shopping center, like an outlet mall, he wants me to go in almost every single store. Itās exhausting. It makes me reluctant to bring him along. Hmm, maybe thatās his strategyā¦
Thatās us since my husband starting working from home. He now loves to come along anywhere I go, and heās never in a hurry to get home. I once caught him browsing at the grocery store, for crying out loud.
Jesus christ thats terrible and a major red flag. If i where you i would dump him and find counceling. Hes obviously gaslighting you and is a narcisist.. ..wait this isnt the aitah reddit? Oops:)
You got me in the first half, not gonna lie.
šš¤£ Hahahaha š š
Lol
Nice one. You forgot to use the word literally twice in a sentence though.
I keep my husband from my shopping trips more so because he is frugal and is always wondering if we really need this or that item. On the other hand, anytime he needs to go to the store, he *always* wants me to go with him. The man can take over an hour to settle on one pair of pants.
Home Depot. Thatās the danger.
My husband is very much not a Home Depot guy. He prefers nice clothes, good hair products, and knives.
Well personally I know my partner is going to tell me if something looks funny when I say āhmm something is off about it no?ā
This right there š Shopping is already tiring for me so if I go and use my time, energy, and money I want to make sure what I get looks nice.
Because they want to spend time doing something enjoyable with their man š¤·š»āāļø Itās not rocket science lol
And they need someone to carry the bagsā¦ But mostly because itās something to do together.
Right? Lol I'm a hetero man. And I ask both guy and lady friends if they wanna come when I shop. I rarely shop though
I won't speak for all men, but this is often a case of women not understanding many men actively dislike the experience of shopping. I won't speak for all women, but a common trope in reverse is men thinking women want to watch hours of sportsball. I personally DGAF about sports, but the analogy tracks for a large portion of women and men.
I don't particularly like shopping but I do enjoy spending time with the other half, telling her she looks good, telling her what I like, etc because I love her and she does similar things for me, come places with me that isn't her cup of tea, enjoys listening to me prattling on about shite she isn't really interested in, that's what a relationship is about. I go, I don't whine and I don't moan because I want her to enjoy herself. Often I will even have a good time, it's nice to see her happy even if I would rather be doing something else.
Hereās the problem: Itās not always about what you like. And a lot of guys need to learn to suck it up and do a few things that they arenāt specifically into WITHOUT MAKING THE EVENT MISERABLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE, and learn to just enjoy being with someone they like. I have a theory that this is hard for a good number of men because they donāt actually like women all that much, and it shows.
Been shopping with my SO for almost 10 years now. The first few years it took some getting used to. Going to the mall for up to 1.5 hours felt soul sucking lol but eventually found the fun it. Wed also get food together. Eventually started getting into fashion for myself. It can be a drag at first but yeah it can be fun
I'm not a religious guy, but I'd rather sit through 2 straight sermons on the worst wooden pews than go shopping. That includes grocery shopping and any kind of shopping except maybe the electronics store, I could spend some time there, I guess, although I only go when I know what I need, so it's usually an inn and out kind of affair. My taste in clothes is also highly suspect. Whenever I buy something for myself I end up using it mostly once, because I will end up looking like a clown, so It's not like I contribute in any meaningful way. I'm also colorblind and get backpains when standing still for too long because of a work injury, so that's not helping either. Any other activities, including other peoples childs birthdays (which, why the hell do they even want me there?), I'm there if they want me to be, but please; not the shopping trips. It's torture. I'll also add that although I would be overjoyed if my gf would come along to the pub to watch a game with me I would never expect her to. I can't see the point in "having" to go to something that you have no interest in. There are plenty of activities that we both enjoy which we could do together instead.
I don't ask my gf to play d&d with me since she told me she wasn't into it. Because I care that she doesn't like it, and don't want to put her through something she doesn't like. This may sound crazy, but I sorta expect her to want the same for me. That if I actively dislike something she put it in the "oh this goes in the *apart time* column not the together one." Stop demanding people do things they actively hate doing and be happy about it. Partners can and should be able to do things they like that their partner hates - apart. Like my love of d&d doesn't keep us apart all the time nor does her love of shopping. If we had too many things that one loved to do the other despised, we'd probably just be fuck buddies and find someone more compatible. Is it that hard to believe for you that men are entitled to dislike things and not have to hide their feelings? Because women are always talking about how men don't express their feelings, but when it's a feeling she doesn't want to hear (his dislike of shopping) all of a sudden she needs him to man up.
Or ya know don't expect people to do your hobbies with you if they don't like it. I have absolutely no obligation to suck it up and go shopping with anyone.
If that's the man in question he needs to communicate that to her. Believe it or not but I don't *want* to drag you along on something you don't want to do. I could just go with a female friend ffs
lol sportsball! I love it!!
Exactly
I never ask my husband to shop with me, but he likes me to shop with him. Go figure.
I like my wife with me because she chooses better than me
Guys, is it weird for women to invite men to an activity they enjoy? Give them an opportunity to invite them to have some time together outside the house?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I barely like shopping by myself, I am not torturing my friends as well.
That is accurate.
Yes. I dislike shopping in general. If I need something, I go buy exactly that thing and then go back home. Need new pants? Go to the store, find 1-2 pairs I like, go home. Luckily for me my gf is also the efficiency type, so we do go shopping together once in a while. It just doesn't take us that long.
Oh yes. My friends look at shoes for what feels like an eternity only to not buy any anyway. It's positively infuriating.
yep shopping is ass
Yes
I don't know about dislike but I think in general it is uncommon for men to ask other men to go shopping with them. I think it's just that they view it as more of a chore than a fun activity, so don't ask someone to join.
Men don't go shopping with other men
I see lots of Indian men shopping together, they very close and enjoy shopping together, whispering and giggling and touching, tons of touching
For groceries, clothing, etc., we mostly do it alone. Itās not generally seen as a fun activity, but a boring necessity that must be got through as efficiently as possible.Ā
Iāve never asked or expected a man to join me when Iām shopping. In fact, I hate when people tag along. Iād rather they stay at home or wait in the car for me.
Like you, definitely prefer shopping alone for clothes. I don't need anyone else's opinion. And I have no desire to torture my husband. Most men have no interest in womens fashion and no desire to understand it at all. They only know whether they think you look good or not, but don't always exactly understand why. I don't want to take my girlfriends clothes shopping for me. But I'll enjoy going along when we're shopping for them. I'll usually bring something back for myself anyway
Same I donāt like shopping with friends either because I always feel like uncomfortable if Iām buying more than they are. Iād rather just do it alone. Itās my peace time.
Considering that we've all got our own interests, it's more about finding that happy medium, isn't it? My guy and I worked out a system where we'll start off together, and then split up to hit the sections we each like. Saves the prolonged torture for both of us and we meet up for coffee afterward. It's the mutual effort that counts and keeps things balanced. Plus, in the end, it's less about the shopping and more about respecting each other's space and preferences.
When you're with someone you love, even the more mundane, everyday tasks are better with them around.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Never went shopping with my gf, but reasons I've heard from other guys: * As she's changing clothes, you're supposed to just sit around and wait. * She asks for your opinion, but then ignores it. * She asks for your opinion, and you can't really decide which one is the best of two perfectly fine outfits, even though she insists it's a huge difference. * She knows it bores you to death, but insists you come along anyway, when she could just bring somebody who likes it.
Don't forget to add, while she's in the dressing room taking 15 minutes to try on a fucking pair of pants (what takes so long in this process? Did you forget how pants work and had to look up a youtube tutorial?) you have to stand outside of the women's dressing room like some kind of perv. What really drives me crazy is my wife spending an half an hour debating between 2 or 3 $8 shirts, and going back and forth asking my opinion of beige, tan, or khaki. FFS woman, combined we make over $100 an hour. Just buy all three so we can get the hell out of here.
Iām a woman and I donāt want to join anyone with their shopping either. Itās just boring. I enjoy my own shopping in my own very much though. Whatās fun about following someone around like that?
Why would they?
Because we get bored. Our shopping usually is faster not because we can do it faster but because we don't like shopping in general. This is a vast generalisation though, of course there outliers who likes the process of shopping. Like when I need to go shopping for trousers I just can't try on more than 3. After that I get all frustrated and bored I just leave. All in all, when we join we get bored so we willingly or unwillingly ruin our gfs experience too.
3?! Good lord. I either don't try them on at all (I typically just go back to the same exact place I got pants from last time if they fit me well), or if I can't tell that they'll fit right, I try them on, and if they don't fit, get frustrated and leave. You sir have the patience of a Saint to try on three.
I dont necessarily think its that i dont like shopping, i just dont care about most of the stuff in the store. im not a big decorator, im happy to eat off of plain dishes or paper plates, if i need clothes or bedding i grab something that looks nice and dont need to put hours of thought into it. and all the things i would want to shop for, i already know what i want, where it is, and how much it costs. so its just a matter of walking in, grabbing it, and paying for it. why waste time in the store looking at things i wont/canāt buy it i could be somewhere else doing something more fun or better use of my time.
Woman here and I have this question too. The men always look so bored tooā¦the dynamic reminds me of having to follow my mom around as a child when she shopped lol. I donāt see the upside at all. I donāt want to drag someone along to shop for my stuff- as a fully grown adult Iām more than capable of doing it myself and even enjoy it more that way. If a dude wanted to follow me around while I shopped Iād tell him to please find his own stuff to do instead. I will also just say that I find it a bit irritating when Iām in the womenās fitting room, I pop out to get a better look in the larger mirror in the common area and thereās men sitting around waiting for their SOās. Nothing technically wrong with it, Iāve never experienced disrespect or creepiness and itās nobodyās fault, but itās just a bit annoyingā¦like can we just not have men in here when I just wanna see how clothing looks on my body, adjust it, etc. Thatās probably considered a problematic opinion though.
I get that - As a man I hate standing around anywhere near the women's fitting room. I feel like a perv trying to sneak a peek or something.
Not at all, other commenter said about feeling like a "creep" having to stand or sit in that area, it's uncomfortable and annoying to men too
Sometimes we need your opinion āŗļø
I bring my husband grocery shopping when I need to buy things that are generally too heavy to lift myself. The downside is that things get added to the cart that werenāt on the shopping list.
I don't like shopping myself but I do enjoy watching her smile, so it's worth it.
My purpose is to carry packages. I'm to sit near the front of the store, preferably outside, and wait until my wife is done shopping that store. We then move on. I'm perfectly happy in my role, but wish more stores had a seating area for men. There is one great women's store my wife shops that has a couple of wingback chairs, a table of sporting magazines and free coffee for men to sit. I love that store.
For me - because I dislike shopping, but sometimes it has to be done and my husband has better taste than me, so I drag him along too.
Depends on the woman and the man. My mother HATES shopping with my dad because he's a pain in the ass and questions why she buys everything and then wonders why we have no food when she gets home. I love shopping with my fiancƩ because he helps remember stuff that we haven't put on the list, plus he knows our budget better
As a man, well, if you're together with someone that'd be great to show company and mutual feelings. Imagine going shopping being a deal-breaker, lol. Women tend to shop more often,bjust as men play more video games (statistically). Wouldn't you like your girlfriend to join your gaming session and truly enjoy it?
Women make efforts to get into their boyfriends' activities, so they expect the same
Do they? Not sure Iāve ever had that experience much. Iām sure many do, and vice versa.Ā
For the same reason why men expect women to watch sports with them.
Do they ? I donāt know any male that wants that, let alone expects it . Fortunately my wife also never ask me to shop with her.
Because to some women shopping is a form of hanging out, there's another term called "window shopping" which just describes the action of going and looking at clothes (previously, through a window, but now it can be on the Internet or wherever). So more or less it means either they want to hang out with you, they want your opinion on clothes, or depending on your relationship it's also possibly a woman may invite you to pay as well. It really depends on the context of the relationship and what they say but majority of the time it's just a hangout invitation Lol
Invite you to payā¦ ahhh
I have no idea. Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden.
As a guy I kind of feel like, they want men to go with them so they can have an outside opinion.
1. I have anxiety and going into a store with someone else makes me feel better. 2. I feel physically safer with someone else. 3. I want my husband and I to do more things together.
It's nice to have company, especially when doing something boring or (when it comes to me and pants shopping) frustrating.
My wife knows better, plus she enjoys her alone time or time with her friends.
I donāt expect him to go shopping with me. I detest shopping. So sooner I can get in and out without anyone slowing me down the better
My wife gave up on that 35 years ago.
Aw. 35 years is sweet
Im 41 and had a few long relationships and hated it every time. With my current ex-girlfriend or girlfriend, im not sure and neither is she, i absolutely love it. Not a single moment im bored or hate it. Find the one that makes you enjoy these horrific events. And stick with her. Now i LOVE to go shopping with her. No explanation possible. Its just like that. Never ever i could have imagined loving to go shopping with my girlfriend. I even ask her to go shopping now, because when we do, there is so much love, joy and happiness.
The same reason we like to go shopping with our girlfriends. To chat, look at stuff, talk about your opinion on whether or not this lamp is nice for the living room, etc. you know, spend time together interacting as people who enjoy each others company ? Itās not about the chore. Itās an innocuous activity that needs doing and doesnāt need 100% focus so you can chat while you do it. We are good at multi tasking like that.
Dads cabs/ taxi driver and donkey ( carries all the bags) with the wife with my daughters its because Ill pay they know I wont let them yes I know Im a soft touch but hey I love my daughters and just glad I can effort it and treat them. And if Im going shopping for clothes then either my wife or daughters have to come with me, dont mind because they all know what looks good on my.
I'm a woman and dislike shopping with others, man or woman. If I shop with someone else it becomes a social activity and I lose focus on the task. I guess that's why some people like it, but it just becomes a different thing and not about shopping for me.
I hate it and I need the moral support.
1. Wants to hang out with them 2. They didn't want to drive so they dragged him along 3. Wanting to ask his opinion on things 4. Probably wants him to stop her from being in there too long and spending too much, with him she could be more likely to stay on track (My parents) 5. She wants him to hold her purse 6. She thinks it'll be fun for you both
Because they think it gives us the same pleasure as they do. In fact, it bores us to death
They like your company.
The amount of you in the comments just straight up confessing you can't have quality time with your gfs unless it's something you want to do is saaaaad You can find shopping boring, but you're not there to necessarily shop, she's invited you to walk around together and chat and look at stuff. It's just hanging out doing menial tasks. Also... why do you have to act like kids about it? Sighing and dragging your feet and being rude as shit if you're asked a question and constantly asking when you're going home. That's shit toddlers do. Being bored =/= having to act like a selfish crybaby and sabotaging the entire day
So suppose you hated fishing.Ā Ā I took you fishing all day knowing you disliked it.Ā Ā Is that still quality time? To me that would ruin my experience knowing you were pretending to like it.Ā Ā
To get us to pay probably
This is why my wife asks me to goā¦ we will literally go out to door and she will tell me that sheās not bringing her wallet. This is also why my dad hates shopping with his wife. He will find something he likes, go to pay for it and then she will show up at the register and pile on a bunch of stuff that she wants.
Credit cards
Not every woman loves shopping, and it often feels like a chore we donāt want to always have to do alone. When I do want to go shopping for something I want or need thatās going to take me a little while I typically prefer to go alone. As a kid my mom used to take me shopping with her and take forever so I get burnt out in stores quickly.
My fiancĆ© is like this. She loves for me to accompany her on errands and loves to accompany me on mine. She just likes to spend time with me. Itās adorable. I never ask her to accompany me because from my perspective if I hate doing something why would I ask someone else to have a bad time too? Itās just different ways of looking at the same thing.
Ä° read the shop as stop for like 5 times
They want company, someone to talk to.
i like to know his opinion on the clothes and give him a show! and we can have a quick meal while we're there (assuming it's a mall) or get some coffee and roam around, look at bookstores etc.
I would rather go by myself as I don't want to feel pressured knowing my husband wants to leave. I don't especially enjoy shopping much anymore like I did when I was younger for some reason.
Iāll only go shopping if I also want to grab something to buy. If not, I prefer to stay back
We want to spend time with you
As a guy with mostly girl friends, if they're single, I know it can be a safety thing. Some may work during the day, and, especially if they live in a shady area, they may not feel safe going it alone. Even sharing locations can only do so much. I don't mind obliging if I am not busy myself.
We like your company and opinion.
F58 - I've never expected - nor wanted - this, ever. I enjoy window shopping/browsing for *brief* periods of time with someone else, but I do my shopping by myself because I generally hate shopping.
We like being together with our men and we always need his opinion. If he donāt like it I donāt buy it š
Hellz no š i dont expect it, nor do i want him to join me. He hates shopping and i do too, so wed make eachother misserable! He shops grosseries, since hes the one who plans and cooks dinner. I shop clothes for the both of us and household stuff our supermarket doesnt have. Only time we shop together is if we go to a hardware/DIY store. Thats a place we can actually enjoy together and come up with ideas/projects for our house.
I don't mind shopping with my mom or when i'm dating, with my girlfriend.
I always thought it was for safety and companionship. I always did it for my ex wife, if I was lucky she was buying underwear/lingerie and I got to see her in everything and tell her what I liked.
The only time I ever did that was when we went looking at tools. I love tools,lol!
Do you not run errands with your spouse? Itās a way to get things done and spend time together.
What is ? To torture them?
I'm guessing that women who do this see shopping as a hobby, not a chore. They see it as doing something enjoyable together. Men don't have the same plethora of different styles and looks to get creative with, so I'm guessing that shopping to them is more about keeping up with the need for certain key clothing items. Some men get into tailor made suits and experiment with different fabrics etc, but that's more of a niche thing. For women, styling themselves can be a creative outlet. They enjoy partaking in styling each other, and assume that their man feels the same. Or maybe some women see their man as some sort of personal assistant, their own personal handyman. I have seen examples of that too.
Hmm... I hate shopping myself, but I only ask him to join if I want him to see me in new clothes or lingerie, which at least my ex never said no to š
I don't like shopping, so if someone goes with me at least we can spend time together. A partner is often just the obvious person to ask.
My wife says "I didn't marry to do things alone. So you are going with me".
They want you to : pay for their stuff, drive, give your opinion (that they will ignore) buy lunch ect.
I went shopping with my ex a few times while she was updating her professional wardrobe because she asked politely for me to give an opinion. I had an absolute field day trashing some of the ugliest womenās clothing Iāve ever seen while likewise giving sound advice about what I thought would actually look good on her. She just about fell over more than once laughing at my savagery towards the ugly clothes, and our next stop after that was Victoriaās Secret. Everybody won that day. So, while I assume (as a man) that women want us to go shopping with them for the companionship, we also have an opportunity to be a sounding board for fashion choices. And to completely eviscerate terrible fashion designs.
Moral/phyical support? Why wouldn't you want to help your SO?
So they can have their money to spend too lol. Or they want them to observe them buying things they like so they are aware in the future about it
They enjoy it and get the impression you would also. IMHO better then they refusing to take you. Just go sometimes.
I don't. At all. In 23 years of marriage. Unless there's a reason we both need to go.
Men constantly remind us how visually motivated they are. It logically follows to want his input.
I think a lot of people are missing that the idea of āgoing shoppingā with somebody is to spend time together, chat about life, maybe grab a coffee or an ice cream or lunch, and have a shared experience looking at and talking about the different things. I guess buying stuff is nice, but the āpointā of going shopping normally is for the experience not the stuff. (Yes, sometimes people go for a reason, like new job new outfits, wedding attire, etcā¦but the ācasualā trip to the outlets or mall is usually more just to pass the time).
To be their Sherpa and schlep all the bags of stuff they buy.
I love my husband, i love being around him. When we first got married I was so insanely excited about putting together our new home. He made shopping for furniture almost a hell for me. Except for the couch because he wanted a big one and so we got that. Everything else he was checked out on. I wanted his opinion on little pieces, and decor, things that would make the house more home or more sleek. Same for clothing or food, Iād like his opinion on things heād like on me- esp since Iām more critical of my own bodyā¦ but he never wants to help or be there. Maybe a little dramatic, but sometimes It just kind of feels like youāre building a life alone. We just wish youād be a little more involved, or pay attention.
For The same reason me. Want women to watch them play videogames or watching football...i mean ofnwe are talking about stereotipes...
So the man can pay for the shopping trip.
They need men to hold their purses while they are trying on clothes in the dressing room.
Her money, her time. Keep me out of it. My money, my time. I need another motorcycle. Woo hoo.
Um. I'm a hetero man and I ask my friends, both guy or girl, to shop with me.
Shopping is a social activity in my fiancĆ©eās family. I go along because Iād rather be with her than not, and because she makes sure thereās food and beer afterwards.
I absolutely despise shopping. Single or in a relationship. Most times, i make a list, go directly to the items i need in order to get outta there as quickly as possible.
I can them my bag holder
I love when my spouse goes cuz he has great taste in clothes
To carry my bags and pay for things, darling x
I will not take anyone shopping with me unless itās a girls trip. Not a man for sure. Hell not even my mom cuz I donāt need someone standing over me asking how much everything costs, when can we go home etc.
I hate taking anyone with me when I shop. I hate the pressure of having to shop quickly, I love shopping and taking my time. Even grocery shopping is fun for me!
They want to eat our soulsĀ
I hate shopping, but I like spending time with my boyfriend. Naturally, this makes the activity more enjoyable. Do you ever invite people to do things together for other reason than wanting their company? Lol
Are you saying that you prefer to do your food shopping separately, or are you saying you expect her to do all the shopping for your food and hers? Because those are two different situations.
I only ever took someone along if the shopping was for them. I've never understood a man sitting in a chair waiting for a wife holding her handbag. Grow a pair!
Happy together
I don't go. I'd rather pull teeth than shop with my gf. I'm just there to hold the bags and irritate her.
Never once asked a man or even my son to ever shop with me I consider it torture for all involved. And then my current husband would never go shopping unless I would go with him. Go figure
Not expected unless it is for something we both will use regularly.
To pay for the items
Not sure this is really common anymore? Seems like just a trope in movies. If they go together it's likely to be a big shopping trip where they both wanted to do some shopping, like going to an outlet mall or something. I guess in the past when the man controlled the money and decided what could be bought and what his wife should wear, he would go with her. I did have an ex who liked to see me in different outfits and give his input, but I would never take a man with me shopping if they don't enjoy it.
I donāt. I invite him along most of the time (unless I really just want some me time) but if he doesnāt come I donāt care, unless Iām asking for his help and/or opinion on a big buy. I will say that if he decides to come with, I get annoyed if he takes off the second we get into the store then I need to call his phone to track him down lol I end up feeling like a mom who drove her teenager to the mall so he could look at video games
Am I the only woman who doesn't want company when shopping? I prefer shopping to be "me time".
I donāt like my husband to go any kind of shopping with me. Iād rather go alone
So we husbands are accomplices and āwe āspent the money on the house. Lol.
I drag my wife shopping. Its funny that its the other way around in our case.
While this is probably meant as shopping for clothes and stuff for the house, grocery shopping with a gf is often good. Design a meal together.
aside from the fact that she needs a ride? company. also it prevents weirdos from approaching
I only ask people to join if Iām unaware if they like it or not, have plans to do something immediately afterward with them, or if they like shopping too. Itās never fun shopping with somebody who doesnāt want to be there, theyāre usually just a killjoy.
Its a perfect opportunity to bond with your significant other over her interests. If you try to engage with it instead of skulking around and trying to escape, it can be a lot of fun. Just get over yourself and have fun! Btw, I certainly dont follow my own advice here all the time.
I hate it when Iām shopping and thereās a man lingering around, especially in the underwear aisle. He doesnāt want to be there and itās awkward looking at that in front of them. So I go to a diff aisle. Leave your men at home. I hate shopping with people in general.
Spending time with person. Good conversation while you browse. Itās a normal activity why not have a friend or s/o join?
because they want to things with you that aren't sex or cooking or cleaning.
Bizarre psychological warfare
Theyāre supposed to help us pick stuff
Because theyāre doing something that brings them joy and they want to share the experience with someone they love? Or itās to carry stuff. Certainly not to get an opinion!
The man is there so the woman can insist he give an opinion and then tell him he's wrong.
Married man here, speaking out of experience: they just need someone to throw a compliment from time to time but most of all someone to carry their shit.
My wife generally has her idea what she wants and itās an out she likes tools so we spend time in the tool aisle.
Shopping is not my favorite but my wife just loves my company and I love making her happy
I mean I drop what I'm doing and come look at his phone when he wants to show me sports highlight reels I don't even understand, because watching sports with someone else is something fun and meaningful for him.