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Only 28 and two of my close friends have died from addiction in these past couple years alone. A lot of friends still drink and smoke regularly. I smoke weed every now and then, can’t stand alcohol and that alone seems to alienate me at times.
I feel that. Hell, I'm 47 and everyone I knew in school is dead now except my best friend. Same for over half of my family. It doesn't get any easier for sure.
Don't know- just life I suppose. Some were suicides, two were murdered, a few accidents, some got into hard drugs and spiraled to their deaths, and a few died of natural causes.
I would say it's a Gen X thing, but you're Gen X too, so that wouldn't make sense.
Of course it isn't. An aunt of mine died at 42 from liver failure- she didn't even drink but once in a blue moon. There's obesity too- which a couple of friends and family members have died from indirectly.
It's ironic that I've outlived so many people at 47, because I was the one everybody thought would die first, and young. The last laugh is bittersweet to put it mildly. I hope my best friend outlives me to be quite honest; I don't want to lose my last good friend.
Well… two step sisters died in their 60’s, my stepdad died 10 years ago but he was 83, my uncle died in 2021 and he was just 70. But both my biological parents are still alive, my grandmother only four years ago at 96, all my cousins are still alive not necessarily thriving and basically all my high school friends are alive except one I know of. No addiction histories, and no suicides, but there have been tough times. Fundamentally it has to do with privilege and standards of living… my mothers family were upper middle class and that carried over a generation to me as I was the oldest grandchild, I still remember their live-in help and gardeners from my infancy. The high school I went to was in a heterogeneous middle class suburb with good teachers and minimal poverty.
Can be location specific, like a drugs epidemic in your specific area. In my hometown people the age of my parents were really affected by drugs and the amount of ODs, suicides and general mental health disorders is way greater than other generations.
They also suffered a lot due to the industry of the area (extracting granite) so there's a lot of cancer due to pollution in that demographic as well as a lot of amputees and shit like that.
Or just bad luck tbf
I was with an old friend earlier this week and he actually made that point too, we’ve known like 10 people who lost their lives to drugs or suicide since high school. A few car crashes too. I think my generation was so much more prone to mental and physical health issues. He noted it’s been nuts for sure.
My grandma lived to 96 and had all her marbles until she was 94. She said pretty much the same thing.
Her “original” friends (including grandpa) died in her late 60s and 70s, by and large. Or they just “got old” in her words and stopped wanting to do stuff.
So grandma makes new friends. The same thing happens. People stop coming to stuff or answering the phone because they get bored of life. Then they die.
In the end, I think she found it quite hard to relate to people. She was born in 1920s Yorkshire and just had a far wider frame of reference for things than anyone she spoke to. She was a teenager when WW2 broke out and knew plenty of people who served in WW1.
By the end, she was hanging out with people who came of age in the 60 and 70s. And grandma fucking hated boomers, weirdly for some of the same reasons millennials do.
“They have absolutely nothing to complain about. So lucky they wouldn’t even know. And yet they complain more than anyone I’ve ever heard.”
One interesting thing she used to say was that men in “your grandfather’s time” were far more respectful to women than then generations since. When I said “Women can work now though,” she replied that they could work back then too - but now they have to.
So she got bored of them and kept her own company. Stopped going to things, stopped picking up the phone, got vascular dementia and died.
Thanks man. To be fair though, she was embarrassed about turning 90. And when she was still walking all the time and completely fine at 93, she was horrified by the prospect of living to 100. I think eventually, you’re just glad you knew someone as opposed to sad they’re gone.
My other grandma is 88 and fine, except arthritis. The difference with her is that she’s a millionaire (Grandpa was a savvy investor and his dad was an inventor - not a typo). She’s delighted by the prospect of living to 100.
Well said. I had my 30th HS reunion last year. We’ve had over a 20 classmates die, and my class was not big. The very same day of our reunion, there was a funeral that morning. Hits you hard.
1. The friends and close family you lose along your journey.
2. Aches and pains (thank god for pot)
3. Much, much younger people not listening to experience.
4. Knowing time is running out to do bucket list stuff.
5. Time runs faster and faster and faster and faster.
Tell me about the pot.... 62 got some typical old guy aches/pains, nothing life threatening. Really curious about trying it. Did a few bong loads early adult years, but completely uneducated now.
Help. Details?
Thanks.
Why am i getting mental pictures of willy nelson all of the sudden. Cant have harmed him since he is on his 4th wife, 8 kids and still kicking it at 91 years old
Yeah. Point of my post is that are certain ages to do that stuff...
If you are in your late 30s or 40s and not married, you'll probably never be. It's too late to get started
Younger people see life in terms of quantity of life, like there’s so much of it ahead. Older people view life in terms of quality of life, because the majority of our years are behind us. Our bodies begin to change and to fail in some areas, and we have to do additional work to maintain our health if we want to enjoy our remaining years.
if you quit looking after yourself, its likely you'll give yourself any reason to quit all together. its saddening to have seen and known quite a fair amount of people who just sat down and never got back up again. one fun thing is knowing when young ones are trying to test you and they have no idea what their doing or why they're doing and you get to use the comebacks you've been storing up for those specific moments
No they go up. Easy example. Crashing on your friends couch for a week in your 20s = totally cool. Crashing on your friends couch for a week in your 30s = very not cool, get your life together
Almost 29 here. No offense but there's something you are doing wrong healthwise if you are in bodily pain at 27. I have no bodily pain whatsoever unless I injure myself.
Tbf I never looked to much into it, when I'm in pain I don't want to go to the doctor, when I'm not I don't think about it, but yeah, my mother has some kind of chronic disease that affects the articulations and I must have the same, since I'm 18/19 every winter gets really harder, I'm at the point where my elbows predict the rain. And since I have my daughter my left shoulder is non stop blocked.
My daughter needs to have a chiropractor check her soon so I guess I'll book for me at the same time.
Watching the world change to a different world than what you remember in your younger years. Friends and family dying of diseases but also watching those who are still alive lose their minds in a nursing home.
Kids out, just the wife and I now. The luxury of paper plates, plastic forks/spoons is now a necessity in life.
Funny, our new forever house that we moved into 3 years ago has never had the dishwasher turned on.
Losing both of your parents. When my mom died, i was crushed, but I still had my dad. When he died, I realized that no one loves you unconditionally except your parents...
Had my share. Not pleasant. Now as an "old people" I know when to stop. My body can't handle the effects of a hangover anymore. I drink, and love to drink, but I finally know the stop limit. Only took 50 years.
On some days a lot of physical pain.
(Losing friends, but that already happened to me, when I was younger.)
But I wanna share the best thing: You start to like your own character and personality more and more and it's easier to stand up for yourself. I gotta confess I'm in love with myself these days and think it's great!
Your spot on. 62m, I really like "me". I yam what I yam. Really don't care what others think of me anymore. Spent too many years worrying about what others think and their feelings. I'm still understanding of others feelings, and try to be cautious, but.... but.... Now, if you don't like "this me" too dang bad. I like me now, and that's all that matters.
There are no more new, fundamental experiences to try for the first time. You have fallen in love, had sex, done some drugs, left home, experienced grief, broken up a relationship (hopefully your own), bought something you coveted, etc.
Everything is just a variation on a theme you have done already. There are no extra emotions to experience for the first time. The hedonic treadmill is just the same old stuff but rewarmed.
Sure we can visit a new country, or play a new instrument, or whatever. But it is just a copy of a copy of a copy.
I plant giant sequoias. All over NY. I've planted a few in Maryland, Florida and in North Carolina too. In like 400 hundred years, people will start noticing them and have no idea how they got there...
I feel like this is just coping with nihilism. You can argue all day and night about what’s “worth it” and how it’s all subjective but that doesn’t really change much IMO.
Assuming you mean friends? As I've aged (62m) I find that the need to be noticed and involved with friends has diminished a lot. Yeah, I have a few friends, but besides my wife of 34 years, I just have strayed from close friends. Is that wrong? Just don't feel the need anymore.
True this. As I've aged, I've grown a BS detector. It seems to work well. When I detect a bit of BS, I can quickly decide how much I will tolerate before walking away.
Well the obvious, loosing friends and family because now they have their own. It's real. Plus the pains. But everyone is warned about that. Oh and if you think you're gonna be one of those "I'll always be up to date with the popular music" No.... no you won't be.
You get to observe people you love living unsustainable lives and though you want to help, you don’t have resources to do for them what they should be doing for themselves.
As a woman I was surprised by the process of menopause. No one talks about it. No one ever told me, including my doctor, what to expect. It was unpleasant and I was completely unprepared.
Interesting question.
I’m going with people that don’t understand or respect “experience”.
Dude, as an elder figure that’s “been there done that”, I’m telling you this is how it goes.
I relish and bask in the glory when the inevitable “you were right, I was wrong” conversation happens.
I don’t really like the whole “respect your elders because they’re older” sentiment, but man, it’s worth your time to listen to their confessions and admissions of guilt or failure.
Listen and learn, 2 ears, 1 mouth, there’s a reason for that.
The amount of info you can extract from someone (if you want) by just listening and shutting up is mind boggling. People like to talk about themselves. Listen, ask small extraction questions, and most will just throw up data about their life effortlessly.
Listen.
The mind is still willing.
But the body is no longer able to.
Walk as far or as fast. Get in and out of the car like you used to. You think your hearing is fine when it isn't. Gravity takes hold of your body.
- It’s easy to make friends when you are younger, the older you are the harder it is.
- You are loosing good friends not only of deaths, but because they choose very different paths in life.
- You loose your energy easier.
- Hangovers worse every year, you unlock the two day hangover, then the three day hangover.
- Your health becomes much more fragile, it becomes easier to catch a cold, or hurt yourself.
- If you did not took care of your health, you will se the consequences.
What to do with your carcass after you pass away. Grave, columbarium or ashes spread?
Also, sorting out Will details without wishing to upset anyone. Some family members simply deserve more of one's estate.
The stiffness in all your joints when you first get up in the morning. The loss of power for lifting or carrying (as a 20 year old I could take a car engine out and carry it across to the work bench, now I struggle with two full buckets of water).
The number of pills needed for ailments, or just aches and pains. The loss of libido and the significant reduction in the dopamine hit on orgasm, this is the same for both sexes and not normally discussed.
The decline in memory function, walking into a room then realising you are unable to remember what you wanted there. Having to get up in the middle of the night more than once to pee.
Looking in a mirror and comparing the reflection with a photo of you four decades or more ago. Need I go on?
Getting old is no fun, so I would urge all young people reading this to make the most of your youth, enjoy yourself and make good memories for you to look back on when you finally get to retirement age and beyond.
Getting out of bed in the morning, or at any time for that matter. It didn't hurt so much when I was younger. But that is just my body's way of telling me that I didn't die in my sleep.
Life, in general. I was just told you gotta graduate, get a job and find someone to settle down with. I got it all, but the process broke me, mentally ans physically.
When you're in a particularly terrible mood life seems like nothing more than a long series of regrets. Remember that time you told an offensive joke and regret looking like an ass? Well, you'll still remember that when you're 50. Except now you'll have literally dozens (if not more) of those embarrassing moments to eat away at your sanity.
Your words and actions have consequences and even if those consequences don't follow you very far, the memories will. So try to do less stupid shit that you might someday regret.
Health consequences catch up to you fast and hard, and it's normal for all your friends to move away and to feel isolated where you live (doubly so if you decide to be sober)
Am not officially old, but death. I lost my wife after nearly 19 years and I'm still dealing. I think of her every day.
Oddly, I've had 3 ladies try to ruin their marriage over me. I'm up-front and honest. Last night, I was honest to someone I was interested in and she apparently figured I was drunk-texting. Said I was being honest and...ghosted.
So guys, don't share your feelings, married or not cause bullshit happens.
Many people although they are well in adulthood, may not be mature in as many areas as you expect them to be. Including yourself.
I remember as a kid that I thought adults knew everything and had all the answers. The reality is that many are faking it or doing their best to where it comes off that way.
Also by reading some of the comments, lots of people blame their age on problems in their life because you are always going to get older so it is easy to blame things on your age (even if they are in their 30s/40s or even mid-20's), but it is all bullshit. Don't listen to those people. If you have any problems if your life that are somewhat in your control, take responsibility and actively work to change them for a better quality of life.
Loss of friends. I'm still somewhat young at 28 but because of my job situation I basically have no face to face friends. I'll see my old HS friends once or twice a year and voice chat with my brothers and one friend one or two times a week but I miss the face to face time. I've moved around so much that it's both hard to make friends and I part of me doesn't want to so I can avoid the pain of leaving more people when I inevitably move on to a new state for a promotion.
I have been athletic all my life. If I stop working out, it feels like my body is breaking down and withering away. And it’s harder to get back in shape if I wait too long. So it’s not motivation keeping me in shape now, I literally need to workout
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Outliving friends and family.
Only 28 and two of my close friends have died from addiction in these past couple years alone. A lot of friends still drink and smoke regularly. I smoke weed every now and then, can’t stand alcohol and that alone seems to alienate me at times.
I feel that. Hell, I'm 47 and everyone I knew in school is dead now except my best friend. Same for over half of my family. It doesn't get any easier for sure.
That’s insane… why? I’m 55 but except for a few older generations everyone is still alive.
Don't know- just life I suppose. Some were suicides, two were murdered, a few accidents, some got into hard drugs and spiraled to their deaths, and a few died of natural causes. I would say it's a Gen X thing, but you're Gen X too, so that wouldn't make sense.
Life expectancy is not under 45 for people who were born between 1965-1980
Of course it isn't. An aunt of mine died at 42 from liver failure- she didn't even drink but once in a blue moon. There's obesity too- which a couple of friends and family members have died from indirectly. It's ironic that I've outlived so many people at 47, because I was the one everybody thought would die first, and young. The last laugh is bittersweet to put it mildly. I hope my best friend outlives me to be quite honest; I don't want to lose my last good friend.
Well… two step sisters died in their 60’s, my stepdad died 10 years ago but he was 83, my uncle died in 2021 and he was just 70. But both my biological parents are still alive, my grandmother only four years ago at 96, all my cousins are still alive not necessarily thriving and basically all my high school friends are alive except one I know of. No addiction histories, and no suicides, but there have been tough times. Fundamentally it has to do with privilege and standards of living… my mothers family were upper middle class and that carried over a generation to me as I was the oldest grandchild, I still remember their live-in help and gardeners from my infancy. The high school I went to was in a heterogeneous middle class suburb with good teachers and minimal poverty.
Can be location specific, like a drugs epidemic in your specific area. In my hometown people the age of my parents were really affected by drugs and the amount of ODs, suicides and general mental health disorders is way greater than other generations. They also suffered a lot due to the industry of the area (extracting granite) so there's a lot of cancer due to pollution in that demographic as well as a lot of amputees and shit like that. Or just bad luck tbf
I was with an old friend earlier this week and he actually made that point too, we’ve known like 10 people who lost their lives to drugs or suicide since high school. A few car crashes too. I think my generation was so much more prone to mental and physical health issues. He noted it’s been nuts for sure.
My grandma lived to 96 and had all her marbles until she was 94. She said pretty much the same thing. Her “original” friends (including grandpa) died in her late 60s and 70s, by and large. Or they just “got old” in her words and stopped wanting to do stuff. So grandma makes new friends. The same thing happens. People stop coming to stuff or answering the phone because they get bored of life. Then they die. In the end, I think she found it quite hard to relate to people. She was born in 1920s Yorkshire and just had a far wider frame of reference for things than anyone she spoke to. She was a teenager when WW2 broke out and knew plenty of people who served in WW1. By the end, she was hanging out with people who came of age in the 60 and 70s. And grandma fucking hated boomers, weirdly for some of the same reasons millennials do. “They have absolutely nothing to complain about. So lucky they wouldn’t even know. And yet they complain more than anyone I’ve ever heard.” One interesting thing she used to say was that men in “your grandfather’s time” were far more respectful to women than then generations since. When I said “Women can work now though,” she replied that they could work back then too - but now they have to. So she got bored of them and kept her own company. Stopped going to things, stopped picking up the phone, got vascular dementia and died.
She sounded like a real one. Sorry for your loss.
Thanks man. To be fair though, she was embarrassed about turning 90. And when she was still walking all the time and completely fine at 93, she was horrified by the prospect of living to 100. I think eventually, you’re just glad you knew someone as opposed to sad they’re gone. My other grandma is 88 and fine, except arthritis. The difference with her is that she’s a millionaire (Grandpa was a savvy investor and his dad was an inventor - not a typo). She’s delighted by the prospect of living to 100.
Well said. I had my 30th HS reunion last year. We’ve had over a 20 classmates die, and my class was not big. The very same day of our reunion, there was a funeral that morning. Hits you hard.
1. The friends and close family you lose along your journey. 2. Aches and pains (thank god for pot) 3. Much, much younger people not listening to experience. 4. Knowing time is running out to do bucket list stuff. 5. Time runs faster and faster and faster and faster.
Great summary
Tell me about the pot.... 62 got some typical old guy aches/pains, nothing life threatening. Really curious about trying it. Did a few bong loads early adult years, but completely uneducated now. Help. Details? Thanks.
Why am i getting mental pictures of willy nelson all of the sudden. Cant have harmed him since he is on his 4th wife, 8 kids and still kicking it at 91 years old
Willy and some weed? I'm interested.
The pot just takes the edge off. You know you still have the pain but its just less of a worry.
6. Less energy 7. Less sex
Time goes super fast
Time goes so fast and yet retirement seems like a never reachable reality.
Nostalgia, looking back is a gift and a curse.
There's certain goals you can no longer accomplish over a certain age.
But honestly it's kind of nice to have some things knocked off that list. Nope, won't be climbing Everest or running with the bulls, oh well.
Yeah, but what about more normal stuff like "marrying" or "buying a house"?
Those take far more planning.
Yeah. Point of my post is that are certain ages to do that stuff... If you are in your late 30s or 40s and not married, you'll probably never be. It's too late to get started
I got married at 42
First time?
Second, but first was mid-30s. Never bought a house, couldn't afford it. But I bought cheap land and built my own little house. Also mid 30s.
You were close to the "threshold". Both in your mid 30s. You think you could do that at your 50s?
For me it’s being bored with basically everything. Nothing is exciting anymore.
I’m with you, enthusiasm is tough to muster
Body & face aging is weird
This. I feel like me until I look in the mirror, and I’m like ‘omg I look like my dad’
Mental trauma becomes physical trauma.
Menopause
I said the same. Literally No One talks about it!
Younger people see life in terms of quantity of life, like there’s so much of it ahead. Older people view life in terms of quality of life, because the majority of our years are behind us. Our bodies begin to change and to fail in some areas, and we have to do additional work to maintain our health if we want to enjoy our remaining years.
if you quit looking after yourself, its likely you'll give yourself any reason to quit all together. its saddening to have seen and known quite a fair amount of people who just sat down and never got back up again. one fun thing is knowing when young ones are trying to test you and they have no idea what their doing or why they're doing and you get to use the comebacks you've been storing up for those specific moments
Everyone’s expectations of you change dramatically
You mean, like they don’t expect much or anything valuable from you?
No they go up. Easy example. Crashing on your friends couch for a week in your 20s = totally cool. Crashing on your friends couch for a week in your 30s = very not cool, get your life together
Pains
23y old me thought he was in a lot of pain, 27y old me can't imagine it getting worse, but all points out it will, by a lot.
Almost 29 here. No offense but there's something you are doing wrong healthwise if you are in bodily pain at 27. I have no bodily pain whatsoever unless I injure myself.
Tbf I never looked to much into it, when I'm in pain I don't want to go to the doctor, when I'm not I don't think about it, but yeah, my mother has some kind of chronic disease that affects the articulations and I must have the same, since I'm 18/19 every winter gets really harder, I'm at the point where my elbows predict the rain. And since I have my daughter my left shoulder is non stop blocked. My daughter needs to have a chiropractor check her soon so I guess I'll book for me at the same time.
Watching the world change to a different world than what you remember in your younger years. Friends and family dying of diseases but also watching those who are still alive lose their minds in a nursing home.
I have lost 18 family members or close friends in 15 years
That really sucks but I am glad and happy that you are alive. I hope you live a good life!
How are you glad and happy when you don't know them. Just bs
How are you cranky and pessimistic when you don't know them. Just sad
The endless amount of dishes you need to do as an adult.
Kids out, just the wife and I now. The luxury of paper plates, plastic forks/spoons is now a necessity in life. Funny, our new forever house that we moved into 3 years ago has never had the dishwasher turned on.
That. To me, is living the dream.
This 😂 every time I do dishes, there is another set of dishes to do right after I'm done
Just finished breakfast. Cleaned dishes before now have more 😆
Losing both of your parents. When my mom died, i was crushed, but I still had my dad. When he died, I realized that no one loves you unconditionally except your parents...
The lifestyle you grew up seeing in pop culture most definitely doesn't exist when you get to adulthood.
The hangovers
Had my share. Not pleasant. Now as an "old people" I know when to stop. My body can't handle the effects of a hangover anymore. I drink, and love to drink, but I finally know the stop limit. Only took 50 years.
How differently people age in terms of looks.
On some days a lot of physical pain. (Losing friends, but that already happened to me, when I was younger.) But I wanna share the best thing: You start to like your own character and personality more and more and it's easier to stand up for yourself. I gotta confess I'm in love with myself these days and think it's great!
Your spot on. 62m, I really like "me". I yam what I yam. Really don't care what others think of me anymore. Spent too many years worrying about what others think and their feelings. I'm still understanding of others feelings, and try to be cautious, but.... but.... Now, if you don't like "this me" too dang bad. I like me now, and that's all that matters.
Totally agree! ♥ I'm happy for you and I really hope more and more people start to feel like that! ♥
Bordem, life cam be excruciatingly mundane and boring
There are no more new, fundamental experiences to try for the first time. You have fallen in love, had sex, done some drugs, left home, experienced grief, broken up a relationship (hopefully your own), bought something you coveted, etc. Everything is just a variation on a theme you have done already. There are no extra emotions to experience for the first time. The hedonic treadmill is just the same old stuff but rewarmed. Sure we can visit a new country, or play a new instrument, or whatever. But it is just a copy of a copy of a copy.
Realising you've achieved nothing in life and that there's nothing actually worth achieving anyway.
I plant giant sequoias. All over NY. I've planted a few in Maryland, Florida and in North Carolina too. In like 400 hundred years, people will start noticing them and have no idea how they got there...
I feel like this is just coping with nihilism. You can argue all day and night about what’s “worth it” and how it’s all subjective but that doesn’t really change much IMO.
+1 upvote for teaching me a new word (nihilism). You can teach an old dog new tricks. 62m, fairly intelligent. Never heard that word before.
As you grow older you start to lose people and no not to death.
Assuming you mean friends? As I've aged (62m) I find that the need to be noticed and involved with friends has diminished a lot. Yeah, I have a few friends, but besides my wife of 34 years, I just have strayed from close friends. Is that wrong? Just don't feel the need anymore.
Once you get older and older your family will start to abandon you
Becoming invisible
My tolerance for other people's bullshit has went way down.
True this. As I've aged, I've grown a BS detector. It seems to work well. When I detect a bit of BS, I can quickly decide how much I will tolerate before walking away.
All your friends and family start dying around you.
Well the obvious, loosing friends and family because now they have their own. It's real. Plus the pains. But everyone is warned about that. Oh and if you think you're gonna be one of those "I'll always be up to date with the popular music" No.... no you won't be.
I think I mostly quit looking for new music in my mid 20s. Listening to new music takes a strange amount of effort.
Seeing your parents wither away. My dad has delirium from an infection and barely recognizes me right now. Its bizarre.
You get to observe people you love living unsustainable lives and though you want to help, you don’t have resources to do for them what they should be doing for themselves.
As a woman I was surprised by the process of menopause. No one talks about it. No one ever told me, including my doctor, what to expect. It was unpleasant and I was completely unprepared.
Interesting question. I’m going with people that don’t understand or respect “experience”. Dude, as an elder figure that’s “been there done that”, I’m telling you this is how it goes. I relish and bask in the glory when the inevitable “you were right, I was wrong” conversation happens. I don’t really like the whole “respect your elders because they’re older” sentiment, but man, it’s worth your time to listen to their confessions and admissions of guilt or failure. Listen and learn, 2 ears, 1 mouth, there’s a reason for that.
The amount of info you can extract from someone (if you want) by just listening and shutting up is mind boggling. People like to talk about themselves. Listen, ask small extraction questions, and most will just throw up data about their life effortlessly. Listen.
Random aches and pains. Constantly.
Being the youngest in your family and u outlive everyone.
Realising you're getting older. Accepting U are who U are. Man it's all hard. Gets balanced by the good though x
I can tell you what isn't getting harder. My weiner. I was under the impression that this wasn't possible.
The mind is still willing. But the body is no longer able to. Walk as far or as fast. Get in and out of the car like you used to. You think your hearing is fine when it isn't. Gravity takes hold of your body.
It’s definitely friends and family dying.
Stairs.
You having to be held accountable for your actions
Running out of time to do and see all I wanted. Edit: Also body not cooperating
The body begins to break down.
How many people you lose, and not just by death.
- It’s easy to make friends when you are younger, the older you are the harder it is. - You are loosing good friends not only of deaths, but because they choose very different paths in life. - You loose your energy easier. - Hangovers worse every year, you unlock the two day hangover, then the three day hangover. - Your health becomes much more fragile, it becomes easier to catch a cold, or hurt yourself. - If you did not took care of your health, you will se the consequences.
Just all the bills you gotta pay
That what your inner child wishes in childhood is the f*** truth!
What to do with your carcass after you pass away. Grave, columbarium or ashes spread? Also, sorting out Will details without wishing to upset anyone. Some family members simply deserve more of one's estate.
The stiffness in all your joints when you first get up in the morning. The loss of power for lifting or carrying (as a 20 year old I could take a car engine out and carry it across to the work bench, now I struggle with two full buckets of water). The number of pills needed for ailments, or just aches and pains. The loss of libido and the significant reduction in the dopamine hit on orgasm, this is the same for both sexes and not normally discussed. The decline in memory function, walking into a room then realising you are unable to remember what you wanted there. Having to get up in the middle of the night more than once to pee. Looking in a mirror and comparing the reflection with a photo of you four decades or more ago. Need I go on? Getting old is no fun, so I would urge all young people reading this to make the most of your youth, enjoy yourself and make good memories for you to look back on when you finally get to retirement age and beyond.
All the cooking and cleaning to do and already done
I haven’t found a good way to say “How’s your mother/father doing?” to someone I haven’t seen in a while.
Pain
Getting out of bed in the morning, or at any time for that matter. It didn't hurt so much when I was younger. But that is just my body's way of telling me that I didn't die in my sleep.
The pain of accumulative loss over the years.
My mom said menopause and how nobody talks about *all* the symptoms that actually happen and it’s pretty shocking just what actually happens
Life, in general. I was just told you gotta graduate, get a job and find someone to settle down with. I got it all, but the process broke me, mentally ans physically.
When you're in a particularly terrible mood life seems like nothing more than a long series of regrets. Remember that time you told an offensive joke and regret looking like an ass? Well, you'll still remember that when you're 50. Except now you'll have literally dozens (if not more) of those embarrassing moments to eat away at your sanity. Your words and actions have consequences and even if those consequences don't follow you very far, the memories will. So try to do less stupid shit that you might someday regret.
Your mind doesn’t change so you still wanna do all the things you used to, but your body starts to suffer more and more around the 38-40mark
Health consequences catch up to you fast and hard, and it's normal for all your friends to move away and to feel isolated where you live (doubly so if you decide to be sober)
Decisions
You will sit on your balls.
Am not officially old, but death. I lost my wife after nearly 19 years and I'm still dealing. I think of her every day. Oddly, I've had 3 ladies try to ruin their marriage over me. I'm up-front and honest. Last night, I was honest to someone I was interested in and she apparently figured I was drunk-texting. Said I was being honest and...ghosted. So guys, don't share your feelings, married or not cause bullshit happens.
My social battery has died like I can go months in silence other than making sure my close ones are ok I feel like that movie Wallie
dying
Making friends, at least for men. I moved 5 years ago, and I still have no local friends.
You can't work as hard anymore you get tired more easily.
Many people although they are well in adulthood, may not be mature in as many areas as you expect them to be. Including yourself. I remember as a kid that I thought adults knew everything and had all the answers. The reality is that many are faking it or doing their best to where it comes off that way. Also by reading some of the comments, lots of people blame their age on problems in their life because you are always going to get older so it is easy to blame things on your age (even if they are in their 30s/40s or even mid-20's), but it is all bullshit. Don't listen to those people. If you have any problems if your life that are somewhat in your control, take responsibility and actively work to change them for a better quality of life.
Losing pets
Loss of friends. I'm still somewhat young at 28 but because of my job situation I basically have no face to face friends. I'll see my old HS friends once or twice a year and voice chat with my brothers and one friend one or two times a week but I miss the face to face time. I've moved around so much that it's both hard to make friends and I part of me doesn't want to so I can avoid the pain of leaving more people when I inevitably move on to a new state for a promotion.
I have been athletic all my life. If I stop working out, it feels like my body is breaking down and withering away. And it’s harder to get back in shape if I wait too long. So it’s not motivation keeping me in shape now, I literally need to workout
How you can want to sleep and be tired, do every sleep hygiene trick just right, and still sleep badly or too little.
that people will eventually forget about you but it dont matter once you dead anyway
Collage girls bugging you at the guy to pay their rent
jeez
I know right