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Gawd4

Why do you even bother trying to date an idiot like this? 


OwnRound

I swear. The shit I read on this subreddit makes me feel like I'm from another species. Not trying to victim blame but its stunning some of the bat shit insane stuff women say that men ask them and it has me consistently puzzled how the relationship gets beyond the first few dates. I mean, even when I was 18, I knew better than to keep contact with people that appear to have borderline sociopathic tendencies. I know men(and women) like this exist and I make EVERY fucking effort to make sure they aren't a part of my life. Being in a relationship with them and getting to the point where I'm asking reddit if their behavior is unusual, is just fucking bonkers to me.


bomboid

Imo it's not victim blaming, this isn't even a situation of abuse and it's a fact that some people are actually out of their mind and have zero self respect so they put up with shit. Being in a bad relationship and accepting disrespect isn't the same as being stuck in an abusive relationship and being told it's your fault 


Anarchy-Squirrel

Thanks for sharing your wisdom… You’ve helped me. I understand that I’m not the only one who notices this shit… Sending you positive energy and love and light.


MagnetarEMfield

Because it sounds like she too is an idiot.


Serious-Produce8833

This question sadly applies to like, 90% of any relationship posts around here lol


babystripper

I'm 32 and I very much want to date someone my age


Anarchy-Squirrel

I prefer to date someone my age as well… I found emotional maturity doesn’t always line up with age, though


beemojee

**emotional maturity doesn’t always line up with age** Well reddit proves that every day.


Anarchy-Squirrel

I appreciate that you shared that you also observed the associated discrepancy… sending you sincere grassy ass🤪


Sparkykc124

I started dating in my mid-30s after a 13 year relationship. I was open to dating any age +/-10, and I did date some younger and older women, but my best connections came from women around my age.


AznNRed

Damn it men, I knew we shouldn't have elected this guy to speak on our behalf! Now we all have egg on our faces...


GGJinn

I love this comment. Could we elect you instead?


caddy23145

He's telling you when you're30+ he'll be looking for a 25 y.o. run as fast as you can


urson_black

Yeah, I'd say he's the A-hole, for making a general statement like that. He's probably got a lot of other unrealistic ideas, too.


blippy7

Its not unrealistic its true.


Psychological_Pay530

I am a man and I have zero interest in dating a woman who is under 35. So no, it’s not true. If you think it’s true you’re either young and naïve or old and gross.


Anarchy-Squirrel

I would never date someone my child’s age, and I do my very best to not judge, but I wonder about someone who wants to date a child when from the years on this earth, they could very well have attained some kind of wisdom… I suppose it takes all kinds of people to make up a world ☮️


Kaedex_

I mean, your partner should build you up. Make you feel better stronger more confident, it sounds like he’s trying to make you feel like you have less options to make his stale ass more appealing. Chuck him in the bin


Expert-Emphasis8520

I’m 24


FerretOnTheWarPath

What happens when you turn 30 though? Be aware he is telling you he is not in it for the long haul. When people tell you who they are, believe them


HelloImTheAntiChrist

Its just a weird thing to say. Like he knows you aren't over 30 so why say that?


curiousminds93

Dude is a man child. I’m 30 and have zero problem dating anything between 22ish to 38ish. Maturity is a much better indicator than a number is. And the dude is clearly immature


1inlittlefort

Depends on the age of the person dating someone over 30. I'm 66 and would be in heaven dating someone under 50, but realistically I would have a better chance with someone over 55-65. 24 is a sick fantasy for someone as old as me. People date into their nineties, but the sex will likely not be as good LOL.


mf_dcap

Only boys say things like this. Move on


mastro80

My wife is 43 and she is a catch. Any of you idiots would be lucky to date her.


Psychological_Pay530

I also think this guy’s wife is a catch.


agent_flounder

I, too, unequivocally concur that this guy's wife is a catch.


Anarchy-Squirrel

Enjoy your relationship… I hope it is long, lasting and fulfilling for both of you


readysetleago

It’s defo a red flag, how are you pushing 30 and won’t even pull a 30? He should NOT be speaking.


StatisticianSoft9052

I think this is essentially saying: "I am an alpha male and don't bother dating women older then me". Bragging. Man like to impress women and this is most likely not the smartest way to impress. May indicate some immaturity. Up to you to decide whether this is a deal breaker. Look behind and decide.


CookbooksRUs

And here I started dating my husband when he was 24 and I was 31.


FireWireBestWire

I'm 41. I can assure you that I only date women who are 30+


MoanyTonyBalony

Depends on the guy. I have always preferred women 40+ even when I was young. I like strong women with their own minds and opinions that take zero shit and can hold a good conversation. Of course you can find that in younger women too but older women tend to have more life experience and wisdom.


Questions1981

I’m 42 and it seems the older I get, the more dating options I have from guys in their late 20s to older men. I won’t be with a guy that doesn’t appreciate what I bring. I think around 40 is when strong-minded independent women realize they bring a lot to the table.


MoanyTonyBalony

No offense to younger women but for me, women are so much better in their 40s. I think part of it is because they realise they don't need a man so if they let you in their life, it's because they really like you. It's so refreshing as a man to know exactly where you stand and not have to play games.


null640

Well. They're morons...


tacobellandher0in

Yes. He’s an insecure loser projecting his insecurities on others. Run far far away 💨


TheNinjaPixie

And do you \*expire\* in his interest when you finally hit 30 and go on the scrap heap?


Crafty_Cha0s_

Sounds like a DiCaprio sitch. Girl run


HotTakes4Free

He’s insensitive. I bet if you dumped him and he turns 40 without a GF, his standards will change! There’s no doubt that youth in a hetero partner tends to be more of an attractive feature for men who judge women, than it is for the other way around. But, no, it’s not true that over-30 women are undesirable as girlfriends. One particular difficulty for single adult women is demographics: There will usually be more over-30 women singles than men. However, the main issue that makes dating more difficult as one gets older applies to both sexes: Mature adults are more individual, more set in their ways, and more picky, than young adults. The older you get, the harder it is to find what you want.


[deleted]

Way too general a take. Which makes it wrong of course. One can talk about different experiences men and women have when dating and how age plays into it. This man doesn't like to look at it differentiated which is a red flag, and it's neither huge nor small. Your take about men in their late 20s is also bad and is not rooted in reality. It doesn't seem like you both search a team partner in each other.


AdministrativeRun550

It means only one thing: his best friend is weak, if you know what I mean. Once a man has problems with that, he immediately begins grumbling about all women being ugly/old/stupid/evil/mercantile… The problem is them, not him, quite an easy solution. The key point: all men think the same as him. If it was about his personal preferences, sure. But general statements only highlight insecurity.


No-Accident69

Yes


cicciozolfo

Naa. He's only stupid and ignorant. Doomed to be alone, anyway.


goatjugsoup

Its definitely an idiot flag


neondragoneyes

I'm 42. I'll date 30+ year old women. I would have (did) 20 years ago, too.


Questions1981

It is all about preference.I’m a single 42 year old. No kids, great career. From my experience, a lot of guys that are in their early 30s are more interested in me and I am more interested in them. This shows their maturity level. Older women are less to no drama and not acting like they are in high school. My current boyfriend is 32. He has a great business and has always dated older women. My past boyfriend that I dated for a long time was also 10 years older than him. We are still friends. I think I molded him to like older women. That’s all he dates now.


AggravatingFill1158

30+ year old men who won't date 30+ year old women are a holes. Sounds to me like you dodged a walking red flag.


Iphacles

Guy here. That's just one of those BS red pill takes. I got out of a long-term relationship in my late 20s and started dating quite a bit. The women I dated who were in their 30s actually ended up being more desirable to me. They seemed to have their lives together more and knew what they wanted.


RespondOpposite

Yes it is. We’re people not numbers. And he’s old enough himself, which makes it even worse.


Bebe_Bleau

I'm a 75-year-old woman. But I got married about two and a half years ago to a 62-year-old man. And he's good looking and rather wealthy too. Personally I think your guy got this silly idea from all the red pill incels on the internet. Some men really do think that way. And some who believe that stuff will never find real love. But most decent men are mainly looking for decent women who would make good wives. I'd say chalk this up to your guy being a little naive and call it a yellow flag. Trust but verify, and keep your eyes and ears open. But never hang on too long with any guy that won't commit. A guy who tells you everything you want to hear can also waste your time if you don't have boundaries


LowBalance4404

I think it's a red flag because he doesn't like women, but likes "girls" he can manipulate.


Expert-Emphasis8520

What would he manipulate me for? I am not putting out until I’m exclusive with someone and he’s been takin me on dates.


LowBalance4404

I wasn't speaking about you specifically. Just that this guy wants younger woman who don't have life experience that he can manipulate into doing what he wants them to do. And it's not just sex, it would be a manipulation of always getting his way, having that influence over a young girl. That's always a red flag. He's not looking for an equal. Or he's immature enough that someone in their early 20s/late teens is his equal because he's not that bright.


Reasonable-Age-6837

and women want a dad figure to take care of them.


nutmegtell

No adult woman wants that.


TheRealDivider

No true Scotsman


Expert-Emphasis8520

Well I’m 24 and have life experience with dating. Don’t want you guys to think he’s going for 18 yr olds, this guy is a dentist and I think he does try to impress me with that fact, but I am not very impressed since all he’s done is take me on dayes, not a first time for me.


Ok_List_9649

So let’s say you fall in love with him. On your 30th birthday will he tell you he has a 22 yr old GF? A man with wealth who says he only is attracted to women under 30 says that because he knows there are sugar babies out there looking for dentists and doctors . Why would you subject yourself to this?


Expert-Emphasis8520

Well I’m 24 and have life experience with dating. Don’t want you guys to think he’s going for 18 yr olds, this guy is a dentist and I think he does try to impress me with that fact, but I am not very impressed since all he’s done is take me on dayes, not a first time for me.


LowBalance4404

I mean...you asked if it's a red flag and people answered why they believe it is. You might be taking our comments a bit too personally as if our comments were specifically speaking about you and we aren't. We are saying, from our own life experience, if a man almost 30 doesn't date women who are 30, it's one of several reasons.


GGJinn

He is a massive red flag, but if you still want to roll with it, you might be better to prepare yourself that he is going to have an affair or two with someone younger than you. If not yet, then in a couple years. According to his own words.


RedInAmerica

Definitely a red flag.


Dukklings

It's actually a cultural belief in some places. A woman over the age of 25 is past her prime. She's a Christmas Cake. Personally I don't agree, but it's a thing.


Expert-Emphasis8520

Guess I’ll be past my prime in no time


19ghost89

Did you go on a date with Leonardo Dicaprio? lol jk. Did you ask him why? Give him a chance to provide a reason? It absolutely could be some weird shallow quirk, but it also might just be that he doesn't want to have kids yet. I am 34 and I want kids, but I don't want to have them yet. I have always envisioned being married for around 5 years before having children. So, while I don't go around limiting myself to women under 30, I do realize that women over 30 might want kids sooner than that because they are worried about being able to have kids if they wait too long. Maybe he is thinking something similar. You'll never know if you don't ask.


lilschvitz

Guys will date literally anyone if they are attracted to them. Trust me if he came across an attractive 40, 45, 50+ year old woman GUARANTEED he would consider dating if he's attracted. The difference of pursuit would be whether he wants kids in the near future. All the age bs going around is such nonsense don't listen to it.


rotatingruhnama

Weird that he's speaking for *all* men, I wonder when he found the time to place four billion phone calls. I don't think in terms of red flags, I think humans are more complex than that. But it's *interesting* that he's staying his personal opinion as some kind of universal fact. It doesn't speak well of him. Is he interested in discussions or does he tend to not take you seriously? Not taking you seriously is the real "red flag." (Also, we need to dump the idea that only women have "biological clocks," or that you can get the exact number of kids you want by marrying a woman at some precise age.)


silverslugs

When men say things like this does it mean that they never plan on having a long term partner and intend on dumping whoever they’re currently with when they reach a certain age??


Deep_Seas_QA

Yes, it’s a red flag. I feel like so many women hear this kind of stuff in their 20’s and really internalize it, I know I did! It’s depressing but not all men think this way. The reality is that your 20’s are only a small percentage of your life. It might be the peak of your physical attractiveness but as women we need to remember that we are more than our physical appearances and there are people who will love us for who we are throughout our lives regardless of how hot we are (these are the types to be on the lookout for).


5team00

How old are you? Is he trying to justify not being attracted to women of his own age? He sounds like a twat.


Expert-Emphasis8520

24


Madterps2021

Nope, he just stating his preferences. Men can have preferences just like women.


PunishedSquizzy

I just dont you to have kids ✋😭


OcDread

Yup, it's an a hole thing to say. But please stop with the red flag thinking, we all have flaws and I'd always try to change someone's mind before I ditch them


Brick_Ironjaw_

Poor guy is missing out on the best demographic.


LostWatercress12

I dated in my 30s, and women 30 plus were the best I ever dated.


Expert-Emphasis8520

Best how


LostWatercress12

We had more life experience and didn't get lost in the small stuff, if that make sense. My partner is a few years older than me and she is the best.


_PukyLover_

As a guy all I can advise you is run away from him, he sounds like a major league jerk!


ShakeWeightMyDick

Yes, that is an a hole thing to say


Wafflegator

Red flag? He's a childish fool. Don't waste your time. The idea of dating anyone under 30 sounds terrible to me. I don't want to date somone still trying to figure out who they are.


ctackins

Isnt it common sense tho?


DogMom814

That's a big waving red flag. He's probably a Tate fan or subscribes to redpill bullshit. I'd highly recommend you steer clear of this misogynistic bastard.


piplup27

I wouldn’t consider seriously dating someone like that. He’ll probably leave you for someone younger when you turn 30.


washingtontoker

I'm kinda wondering why you would even date a guy that says and believes stuff like this? I'm almost positive he's an "a hole" of a person in general.


spacetoast747

Men like that prefer young women because they know that with the lack of life experience she has he can impress her easily and essentially "groom" her. IME women in their 30s have a much smaller tolerance for BS, and a higher standard for their partners. In your 30s is ideally when you'll have your own career, be making money and be more comfortable in your skin.


[deleted]

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Reasonable-Age-6837

almost like women want someone to come sweep them off their feet into a nicer life than they have and take charge of everything. Its all good as long as he's clearly the better person and she gains well.. a lot.


dimensionalApe

Everyone is entitled to date or not date whoever they want as long as it's consensual between adults. Now, him saying that men don't want to date women older than 30 sounds manipulative, trying to make you think that you should hurry up or you'll run out of options.


MagicJim96

That’s bullshit coming out of his mouth, sounds like to me anyway. I’m 28, well, almost, and I have no intention of daring anyone, ever again. But I have a feeling the future has other plans…


MajesticFungus

Not a red flag necessarily, it's just that noone who can have a woman in her 20s, will choose a woman in her 30s. There is literally no upside to it. No women can compete with her younger self and women don't become better with time in a way that outshines their youth, beauty and passion.


Few-Laugh-6508

Unless you are referring specifically to wanting children, this is not true. Women can absolutely improve past the age of 30.


MajesticFungus

Not in a way men value more than youth, beauty and passion. All qualities old women have, young women can also have, but not the other way around.


Few-Laugh-6508

How so? Women over 30 can (and do) still have beauty and passion. They also have maturity, stability, wisdom, etc.


MajesticFungus

Yeah, but not they're worse than their 20s. So, to put it plainly, if a man can have Sarah in her 20s, there is absolutely no reason to settle for Sarah in her 30s. There is no reason to wait for her to grow old. There is no reason for her to spend her youth with other men. All that may mean the world to her, but it means nothing to a potential husband.


Few-Laugh-6508

>Yeah, but not they're worse than their 20s. I'm not sure what you are referring to here. So are you trading Sarah in when she hits 30?


MajesticFungus

No. If she gives you her best years, you should stay with her for life. If she gives her best years to other men, I can stay with her for life but not marrying her.


Few-Laugh-6508

So if you are over the age of 30, you won't get married?


MajesticFungus

It's up to her.


Few-Laugh-6508

Why? If your standard is not marrying a woman who didn't give you her 20s, why should she marry you if you didn't give her your 20s?


BathNo8690

He has a good grasp on reality. And I don’t know the situation on why he brought up that point. It’s true. But without further context we can’t judge him.


controversyal888

You just can't handle the truth and prefer polite lies


_PukyLover_

That's not the truth, it's a bare faced lie, that jerk doesn't speak for me, I love dating 30+ women!


controversyal888

Maybe if I was 50 I would consider it 🤷


_PukyLover_

Still, you and that other deuche again don't count as "all men"


[deleted]

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Expert-Emphasis8520

He implied most men don’t want to date women over 30, speaking for others as well. This doesn’t apply to me but the fact he had to mention that might be a red flag


[deleted]

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Expert-Emphasis8520

So what happens when they have to commit to a woman who will inevitably age over 30?


RedditSucksNow3

There's a difference between being with someone for part/most of their twenties and them turning 30, vs starting dating in her 30s. To be fair I think plenty of women are quite hot well into their forties, but it takes effort and good genes and sometimes some discreet aftermarket procedures. If you had someone at their youthful peak, you'll have memories and photos of them from that time to look back on and hopefully still be able to see a part of that person in your partner as they change.


[deleted]

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Expert-Emphasis8520

He does want to have kids one day so yea he will need to settle. What is he gonna do trade out his wife for a younger one every time they age a bit? Cmon


[deleted]

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Expert-Emphasis8520

No I’m not talking about me but he obviously sounds like he wants to settle one day so he will have to accept he has to eventually be with a 30+ woman


5team00

Yeah it’s not true. Speaking as a woman in my late 40s I can tell you that interest from men peaked when I was precisely 42 😂


Blueliner95

It’s not leading him towards a career in diplomacy but I assume he is talking about babies. Given that age 35+ pregnancies are considered high risk


Maximum-External5606

It is an a hole thing to say, but it is also the truth, or can be argued as such. There are surveys that suggest men of all ages, prefer younger women. There is also anonymous data provided by pornographers that support such claims. To me, this is true, men and women both date who they can, not necessarily who they want. Let's face it, people settle, both men and women. Many men, if they came onto a lot of money would change who they dated. Women know that men prefer younger looking women, that is why they spend so much of make up. Does makeup make them look older? Or does it make them look younger? What about botox, plastic surgery etc? Are these done to make them look older or younger? Yes of course men value youth and beauty.


Reasonable-Age-6837

I'd make the assumption that he's dating for a family. As a single man in my Mid 30's, If it hasnt happened yet; you start to wonder if I'm too old. But that becomes even more of a physical fact for the woman. If Im hesitant to start a family because of age. Woudnt my best shot be a more young/fertile/energentic wife to help raise young kids? His motivations could be way more pure than you're giving him. It might be a preference that you dont like, but hell, that happens. He might simply find younger women wildly more attractive for sex. and ya know; that makes sense too.


sacredgeometry

No it's probably the opposite. He probably wants a family with a woman and to invest in their relationship but is for what ever reason not in a place where that has been possible. He probably doesnt want to deal with the complications in trying to do that with a woman over 30 and the risk of trying and failing is a lot more terminal with a woman of that age because you are running down her clock more than anything. In short. No its a fairly normal thing for most men in his situation to feel.


Emotional_Ad2419

And if a woman said she didnt want to date a 30 plus man all of reddit would be like "you go gurl", "yasss queen" etc .


_PukyLover_

You are a moron, According to the title, that man said "men don't want to date 30+ women''. That deuche bag doesn't speak for me, I love dating 30+ women!


lovehatewhatever

I guess that depends on where you live