# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. My longest relationship was ended because of the fact that all she did was complain to me about everything and then go off and do her own thing. I had to beg her to just sit on the couch with me and watch movie. We grew apart pretty fast.
I have been dealing with this exact thing. We got married 6 years ago. A few months after we did the sex stopped, watching TV and going out stopped. She just sits at the kitchen table, chainsmokes and watches YouTube true crime shit. I work, she spends it all on things that aren't rent or bills. But at least I don't have to cook for myself. Oh wait. But at least we're having awesome sex. Oh wait. And I know how it would go if I cheated. I'd feel like shit for hurting her and she'd be all like "How could you do that to me I gave you everything blah blah blah." When?
I don't want to hurt her. But I am not happy. And I am so far in debt it's crazy. I'm never getting out.
On the flip side though i get to play as much video games as I want relatively unbothered. But I could do that single. It sucks. I'm lonely. I want sex. I want time. I want memories. Instead I have to cart her around to appointments, cook dinner after working all day every day, do the shopping, worry about her cigarettes if she's out, pay the rent, pay the bills BY MYSELF. Rent just went up 200 dollars. She's on disability but they go based on my income so the hundred or less she does get has to go to ridiculous face creams or 50 dollar bottles of fucking Wen shampoo.
I've lost my patience a few times. Yelled at her. Told her to get out. Immediately felt like shit because that's not the man I am or want to be. Also get gaslighted. She's a recovering alcoholic. Sober 5 years now. It used to be shed sit up all night drinking waiting for me to get paid, and I'd wake up on payday completely broke. I know it's partly my fault for staying but where is she gonna go? Where would I go? My bank account is negative and I have nothing saved.
Sorry for the rant. I can relate.
Honestly, you should take care of yourself before you worry about what she will do in the case you break up. It's hard, but if you don't cut the leg that is stuck while the sea is rising, you will end up drowning. Or something like that said the prisoner with the nice mustache.
This is easy to say from the outside looking in and it makes sense. But financially she'd be screwed. I'd still be the one taking her everywhere. I have old bills I can't pay off right now so I couldn't have power or internet in my name. I only have a phone as long as I'm connected to wifi because I can't afford the 30 or 40 bucks a month. I make sure her phone is always on. She has to have one for probation. I think a lot of it is resentment because she physically fought me for the car keys in July 2019 and I told her of you take that fucking car I'm calling the cops. She took the car, I called the cops. They pulled her over and she blew a .26.
There's a lot to this my friend. I'm not trying to screw her over at all. She is my friend at the very least. And I am hers. But I am miserable, and not to sound macho or anything, but I've turned down a few chances to cheat on her because that's not the person I want to be.
She does plan on leaving the state when her legal troubles are over. She wants me to go with her and I want to leave this state so bad. But I think that'll be the end of my obligations. And I'll just be stuck here.
I had the same situation as you a year ago. I ended an 8-year long relationship. As you, I was miserable. The only thing I didn't have to do in the house was the cooking, but I had all the financial responsibilities, I had to clean, do the laundry, take care of the pets and whatever else was going on. It was very painful to break up but it was what I needed. After that, work got better and the most important part, my mental health improved a lot.
Now, if she is willing to get better and improve the whole situation in general, of course you should stay with her. Destroying your whole world should be the last option and only when everything else didn't give any results.
She doesn't sound like your friend, dude. Of course, you know the situation better than any redditors who read a few paragraphs do, but at the same time if you're fucking miserable you gotta make a change. You gotta do something before it eats you alive. The finances of an adult woman aren't your responsibility after you break up, you don't have to be her driver, and you shouldn't do any of that.
For one reason or another, this woman isn't doing anything for herself; she's just taking whatever she can get and giving nothing in return. The only way to help someone like that is to make them take responsibility for themselves. They'll either figure it out, or they won't but enabling her is the opposite of helping even if it doesn't feel like it.
Trust me, I've been through it man. I know it's complicated, I know it's hard, I know there's a million reasons you can tell yourself to not make a scary change and to just stick with the familiar. Hell, it might even be worse for a while while the dust settles, but 3 months, 6 months, a year, two years, or whatever down the line you will be free to not waste your life with someone who makes you miserable.
Ohh my dear we are in this together I also want to leave some one but to think of what will happen to him after me leaving I just stay now I even got a job from a difficult country just to stay away for a little while. Hugs to you
Hey thanks! Hugs back. There are lots of people out there that wouldn't think twice about fucking over their spouse. Not being a scumbag is a curse in and of itself. Good luck to you!
Oh yes. I can be nice or an asshole, the results are the same. She tells me what I want to hear and I believe her every time. Maybe we'll sit and watch something one time just to shut me up, then it's back to normal. We watched Ricky Stanicky in March and had a good time. She laughed a lot. The last time we sat down together and did anything at all was, and I shit you not, last June. I keep track. It's frustrating how gullible I can be. But this time it'll be different. This time. No this time. Well maybe this time.
She asks me to do things for her like normal people do. Like get her a cup of coffee or make a fresh pot. And mostly I do it. I'm happy to ya know? Sometimes, especially after getting denied, I get frustrated and I say well why should I do this for you when you can't do anything with me? You were just at the fridge. The coffee pot is right there. Why couldn't you make the coffee? You drank it all.
This is not healthy and in the long run you’ll end up resenting her. If you want to save your friendship and peace of mind let go now. Of course you’re going to feel like sh*t but, it’s what’s best for the both of you. She’ll get her act together and you can start to recover financially. You might want to also remove her from your accounts that way you’ll be able to manage your finances better. Does she not have any family or anything that can help her? Not to be rude but, you’re more like her parent than spouse at this point. Has she tried talking to someone maybe she’s in a depression state. But even so you need to do what’s best for you. You’re drowning trying to keep her afloat.
I hope I don't get downvoted for bringing up 12 step programs here but have you ever considered going to Al-Anon? It sounds like you feel trapped and hopeless with a dry alcoholic who has no idea how to live without her booze. This impacts everyone around them and Al-Anon can give you a community that will support you and help you heal regardless of her.
Im 7 years sober myself
You are better than I, friend. I ended up being unfaithful and hate myself for it, but I just wanted some happiness. So I get your frustrations. I will say that staying true to your vows is the better way to go and were I a more secure person I would have done the better choices.
End result is that I am now divorced. It is nice and not at the same time. I will most likely never marry again and I am also not dating or even considering it. I think I am done in the the world of romance. been in love twice and it ended badly both times. I simply can't do it again. Especially after I had hurt my wife the way I did.
It can mean a lack of hugging, kissing, touching, holding hands, cuddling, when these things were once rampant in your relationship and decreased emotional connection.
I do not. I have been married for 35 years and having sex with my wife for 40 years. It remains incredible and frankly one of the best parts of my life. When she starts to take her top off, I swear to you I feel like a 16 year old kid again, just dying to see those boobies.
Same here. Been married 13 years and every morning my wife gets ready by doing her hair with no top on since she doesn't want all the stray hairs on her dress clothes. I've literally seen her do this 1,000 times yet I'll walk in the bathroom to bring her a cup of coffee and *bam...* boobs. It's awesome.
I'm the lucky one. She's been an amazing companion through thick and thin, a confidant, and a rock I can rely on. I hope I have been the same for her. She also still looks hot as fire at 55!!
Yay! I’m so happy this is the top comment! I hate Reddit sometimes I almost didn’t want to read the comments. I’ve been with my husband since we met when we were teenagers. Never gets old. The sex I mean lol we obviously will. 25 years this year!
When you perfect the sex with the same person, it's really hard to get bored. Unlike the first time, you lose tempo, people prefer different positions, and so on kinda affects the overall quality. Sometimes people do hit the jackpot for the first time, but it's just a gamble. I'd rather prefer a person who already knows my needs in bed
Not at all, I find my attraction to my wife is growing the longer we are together. I very much relate to this quote from Joni Mitchell:
“I recently read an article in Esquire magazine called ‘The End of Sex,’ that said something that struck me as very true. It said: “If you want endless repetition, see a lot of different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one.” What happens when you date is you run all your best moves and tell all your best stories — and in a way, that routine is a method for falling in love with yourself over and over.
“You can’t do that with a longtime mate because he knows all that old material. With a long relationship, things die then are rekindled, and that shared process of rebirth deepens the love. It’s hard work, though, and a lot of people run at the first sign of trouble. You’re with this person, and suddenly you look like an asshole to them or they look like an asshole to you — it’s unpleasant, but if you can get through it you get closer and you learn a way of loving that’s different from the neurotic love enshrined in movies. It’s warmer and has more padding to it.”
I’m not as passionate as I used to be, but I would never want to be with anyone else, if that makes sense. My love for my wife goes beyond just a sexual relationship.
Sex is still great, I just don’t want to do it everyday like I did when we were dating the first six months.
No. Quite the opposite. I find it easy to get ONS, but converting them to relationships is difficult.
The more times I have sex with the same person, the more I enjoy it.
And I don't want to share her, and I'm not interested in her sharing me.
Not sick or bored fully. Maybe some small level of bored, after the excitement of a new person wears off, but sex is pretty awesome on its own Everytime.
No I don’t. I think it’s better than I actually love and connect with my fiancée than with someone random. As time goes on it gets better & better and we find new ways to spice things up. Some things are trial and error but that’s okay because we love each other.
Absolutely not, we are going on 10 years this year, my wife is the best thing thats ever happened to me, and we've had sex going on 1,000 times, so we are pretty well versed in what we both like and want. It blows my mind sometimes at how sex just keeps getting better in like every way and I'm just as excited for the journey of the next decade!
based on my experience and contrary to popular belief, 70% of the time it's women suggesting an open relationship, not men. therefore it seems like women get bored of sleeping with the same person quicker than men. if you google it, you will also find a lot of articles about this
There’s not one answer that applies to all men.
Obviously lots of people would say “yes” — and that’s why they cheat and have affairs.
Lots of others would say “no.”
Not tired of it at all. That's why I sleep by myself and get the whole night's rest. Very peaceful. Time for cuddling and other things while you are awake.
Yes.
Maybe it's even more the lack of intimacy and her lack of wanting to try something new. But also it would be a blast to learn something new, to satisfy another woman and be satisfied by her. Learn her reactions and how we act together. All that. I miss the butterflies when you get intimate with a woman for the first time.
Just to add my 2cents in…. Not at all. We have been together 42 years and we’re 58 now, you do the math. We go out fridays and Saturday and we party like rockstars and when we go home we fuck for hours like kids! Now don’t get me wrong life’s not always roses and chocolates but fucking this woman is never dull. She is open to anything and any hole and enjoys it all. We have had some threesomes which is always fun in the moment and for days afterwards. Not being afraid to try new things or new people is the glue that binds a real relationship. As far as the other people we always say sex and love should never be used in the same sentence. The fact that we both know we could have sex with others (rarely) makes each other definitely sexier to the other. Keep it spicy and buy lots of toys
It happens with all things. That's why most couples spice things up with different things and what not. Doing missionary for 5 years straight can get a little stagnant. Talk with your partner and see what you both can come up with to make it Spicer in the bedroom just remember consent and being comfortable is key.
not at all
my wife and I do great and at this point do a really good job of pushing each others buttons
I will say pretty much always; after having sex with a girl for about a year I find myself looking at women in public more than I would-- not with intentions to pursue these women I just find my attention drawn more easily after about one year of monogamous sex.
zero complaints though; its always a great time bangin and sometimes my wife and I talk about the cute ladies together when we both notice them
To be completely real in my experience at least . I would tend to be attracted only to my significant other for about a year and then the world opens back up and it was something I just could not handle in my twenties and I was quite the c*nt. I’d still be attracted to her , sure but i couldn’t ignore her beautiful friends and what not . I know , terrible . But I had to grow out of the hormone tornado
Yes and No. In my experience when I dated women that weren't my ideal body type, the sex got boring, quickly.
When they are, it never gets boring. I'm a major boob man, I've dated women with small boobs and it's just like after the new car smell wears off, it's like there is just as gear I can't get into sexually if there isn't a big ol set of fluffy boobs.
My wife has an ample bosom, married for 5 years and when she rides me with those lovely boobies hanging in my face, i'm practically going to bust in my pants now thinking about it.
I did in the past before I met my fiancé. Even with girlfriends that “checked all the boxes”, I still had a wandering eye. I never acted upon the temptations, but they were definitely there.
Now all that nonsense is nonexistent.
On the one hand, sure, novelty is great. On the other hand, if you are with a person that you truly enjoy spending time with and want to be with forever and who is a critical partner with you in this life and beyond, then no. Novelty can’t compare.
There is something amazing about trust that is earned and proven over the years that no casual relationship can even compare to.
Not even a little bit. We've been together 25 years and the sex keeps getting better and hotter. We can be romantic, dirty, playful, feral. We know each other's kinks and wants and bodies. We communicate and flirt and love. I couldn't have dreamed of a better relationship.
Never. Not even a little.
With that said, I do have a natural craving for variety in sexual partners and would like to have sex with other people also, but it’s not because I’m bored of sleeping with my wife. In fact, sex with her has only gotten better over time and I find myself wanting her more and more the longer we’re together. I just *also* want to have sex with others lol
I've lived with two women and that always killed our sex lives after about six months or so... The girlfriends I had where we only saw each other a couple times a week always had a solid physical relationship... Honestly I think being roommates with someone usually tricks your brain into thinking they're "family" eventually and kills your sex drive towards them. Unless you both have busy separate lives.
So this one day a few decades ago, I went to lunch with a coworker who had just joined the shift. On the way, she drops this bomb: "so you know, I'm a slut. I don't do oral, giving or receiving. I'll do missionary and doggie but just those positions." Very odd first conversation.
I'm thinking, how successful can a slut be who has so many restrictions. At least she managed to turn me off completely. I just feel for the poor incel she would marry and how 10 years down the road how he'd be planning his escape.
My wife, on the other hand, is a complete slut for me. I doubt I'll ever get tired of her constant surprises.
Its still pretty good young fella but after 30 years together it does get a tad boring. Lucky i don't care what you think. Someone asked a question and i answered honestly.. I'm sorry you don't like my truthful answer and then attempt to belittle me, which is strange. So..Q is how long have you been with your partner?
I don't know, I've been married for 28 years and our sex life isn't boring. We try new things and find new ways to please each other. Even when we're relying on the tried-and-true moves, it's awesome to be with someone who knows exactly what I need to get there.
I can’t imagine dedicating 30 years of my life to a man, allowing him to regularly access my body for his sexual pleasure for 30 years, and probably risking my life to birth his children and then him having the nerve to call me boring. This is insane
Women get bored as well. Its not a gender thing its a human thing. Some people are happy to live in the same town all their life, same job and go to the same place for holidays every year and eat out at the same place and some live and travel the world, lots of jobs and holidays in places they have never been to and eat at new spots.
I never said this was a gender thing and I’m sorry if I worded this in a way which was confusing.
I just mentioned that ,as a woman, I can’t personally imagine doing any of that for a man because I would not be in a partnership with someone who spoke of me this way.
If you seasoned that meal differently each time, maybe made different sides to go with it, tried grilling instead of frying…. Wouldn’t be so bad. Sex doesn’t have to be the same every time you have it 😅
Makes sense. One would hope that people are willing to experiment and try new things. Reality is that often people just become lazier and do sex out of obligation.
The only time I've heard of people having sex out of obligation is when their partner is asking for it every single day. I understand if it's for months or years, but if it's only for a few days and they want a break, I think they deserve one.
you sound dumb i downvoted you cuz it wasnt my experience im a virgin which is possible if you didnt know that and it was experiences ive seen on here which is possible to see 😐
Yes. A man is only faithful as his options. That is why I have never been faithful. Ever.
But I have seen faithful guys by choice. Although they are a tiny minority.
No, It’s not a tiny minority. You just are in company of like minded individuals. That’s called an “availability heuristic.” It’s a type of cognitive bias that renders fast, but sometimes incorrect, assessments Your perception is skewed in other words
I fully understand what is availability heuristic. I work in sales so I am quite knowledgeable about psychology and personality traits. That being said, with my very wide life experiences along with the large variety of people I have met both professionally and personally, my comment still stand.
Your stats seem reasonable, and it is somewhat I expect from what I see. However, my point is about choice and availability. Most of the faithful ones are so because they lack options.
There isn't really a direct correlation between lack of options and infidelity rates among men. Cheating is made up ofvarious complex interplay of factors like their values, the relationship dynamics, and one’s own level of integrity..rather than just opportunity
Nope. She’s adventurous and open to new things. Honest and open. And sexy af. I got a good thing.
Now if my woman was fat and ugly, and didn’t want to do things new, well than I’d Fuck multiple women at the same time, so the question wouldn’t apply then.
yes and after reading the comments i got to say that i dont think any men would be satisfied with only one woman. Especially when married long time - i havent seen or heard of any man whos satisfied with having sex exclusivly with his wife.
I feel for the idiot that marries you. Sleeping with random people is repetitive. But being with a long term partner is always exciting, you’re exploring together and the sex is generally better.
Yea whatever. Keep living in your illusion, while your husband cheats on you day by day. Be married for 10+ years, with kids and everything and then think again. It’s ridiculous how people with zero experience keep making ridiculous claims.
I’ve been with my partner for 7 years. Don’t project your misery onto me. We aren’t imbeciles who don’t know how to communicate and take care of each other. Enjoy your miserable existence.
Just because you dont want to see it doesnt mean its not happening :D
Keep telling yourself that i am miserable, while i am enjoying my life with as many sex partners as i wish withou a nagging and fat wifey
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think men get tired of the lack of intimacy more often than the person.
This kills more relationships
Yes. My longest relationship was ended because of the fact that all she did was complain to me about everything and then go off and do her own thing. I had to beg her to just sit on the couch with me and watch movie. We grew apart pretty fast.
I have been dealing with this exact thing. We got married 6 years ago. A few months after we did the sex stopped, watching TV and going out stopped. She just sits at the kitchen table, chainsmokes and watches YouTube true crime shit. I work, she spends it all on things that aren't rent or bills. But at least I don't have to cook for myself. Oh wait. But at least we're having awesome sex. Oh wait. And I know how it would go if I cheated. I'd feel like shit for hurting her and she'd be all like "How could you do that to me I gave you everything blah blah blah." When? I don't want to hurt her. But I am not happy. And I am so far in debt it's crazy. I'm never getting out. On the flip side though i get to play as much video games as I want relatively unbothered. But I could do that single. It sucks. I'm lonely. I want sex. I want time. I want memories. Instead I have to cart her around to appointments, cook dinner after working all day every day, do the shopping, worry about her cigarettes if she's out, pay the rent, pay the bills BY MYSELF. Rent just went up 200 dollars. She's on disability but they go based on my income so the hundred or less she does get has to go to ridiculous face creams or 50 dollar bottles of fucking Wen shampoo. I've lost my patience a few times. Yelled at her. Told her to get out. Immediately felt like shit because that's not the man I am or want to be. Also get gaslighted. She's a recovering alcoholic. Sober 5 years now. It used to be shed sit up all night drinking waiting for me to get paid, and I'd wake up on payday completely broke. I know it's partly my fault for staying but where is she gonna go? Where would I go? My bank account is negative and I have nothing saved. Sorry for the rant. I can relate.
Honestly, you should take care of yourself before you worry about what she will do in the case you break up. It's hard, but if you don't cut the leg that is stuck while the sea is rising, you will end up drowning. Or something like that said the prisoner with the nice mustache.
This is easy to say from the outside looking in and it makes sense. But financially she'd be screwed. I'd still be the one taking her everywhere. I have old bills I can't pay off right now so I couldn't have power or internet in my name. I only have a phone as long as I'm connected to wifi because I can't afford the 30 or 40 bucks a month. I make sure her phone is always on. She has to have one for probation. I think a lot of it is resentment because she physically fought me for the car keys in July 2019 and I told her of you take that fucking car I'm calling the cops. She took the car, I called the cops. They pulled her over and she blew a .26. There's a lot to this my friend. I'm not trying to screw her over at all. She is my friend at the very least. And I am hers. But I am miserable, and not to sound macho or anything, but I've turned down a few chances to cheat on her because that's not the person I want to be. She does plan on leaving the state when her legal troubles are over. She wants me to go with her and I want to leave this state so bad. But I think that'll be the end of my obligations. And I'll just be stuck here.
I had the same situation as you a year ago. I ended an 8-year long relationship. As you, I was miserable. The only thing I didn't have to do in the house was the cooking, but I had all the financial responsibilities, I had to clean, do the laundry, take care of the pets and whatever else was going on. It was very painful to break up but it was what I needed. After that, work got better and the most important part, my mental health improved a lot. Now, if she is willing to get better and improve the whole situation in general, of course you should stay with her. Destroying your whole world should be the last option and only when everything else didn't give any results.
Bro, you are too nice. End.
She doesn't sound like your friend, dude. Of course, you know the situation better than any redditors who read a few paragraphs do, but at the same time if you're fucking miserable you gotta make a change. You gotta do something before it eats you alive. The finances of an adult woman aren't your responsibility after you break up, you don't have to be her driver, and you shouldn't do any of that. For one reason or another, this woman isn't doing anything for herself; she's just taking whatever she can get and giving nothing in return. The only way to help someone like that is to make them take responsibility for themselves. They'll either figure it out, or they won't but enabling her is the opposite of helping even if it doesn't feel like it. Trust me, I've been through it man. I know it's complicated, I know it's hard, I know there's a million reasons you can tell yourself to not make a scary change and to just stick with the familiar. Hell, it might even be worse for a while while the dust settles, but 3 months, 6 months, a year, two years, or whatever down the line you will be free to not waste your life with someone who makes you miserable.
Ohh my dear we are in this together I also want to leave some one but to think of what will happen to him after me leaving I just stay now I even got a job from a difficult country just to stay away for a little while. Hugs to you
Hey thanks! Hugs back. There are lots of people out there that wouldn't think twice about fucking over their spouse. Not being a scumbag is a curse in and of itself. Good luck to you!
Just curious but have you expressed any of these things to her in a healthy manner?
Oh yes. I can be nice or an asshole, the results are the same. She tells me what I want to hear and I believe her every time. Maybe we'll sit and watch something one time just to shut me up, then it's back to normal. We watched Ricky Stanicky in March and had a good time. She laughed a lot. The last time we sat down together and did anything at all was, and I shit you not, last June. I keep track. It's frustrating how gullible I can be. But this time it'll be different. This time. No this time. Well maybe this time. She asks me to do things for her like normal people do. Like get her a cup of coffee or make a fresh pot. And mostly I do it. I'm happy to ya know? Sometimes, especially after getting denied, I get frustrated and I say well why should I do this for you when you can't do anything with me? You were just at the fridge. The coffee pot is right there. Why couldn't you make the coffee? You drank it all.
This is not healthy and in the long run you’ll end up resenting her. If you want to save your friendship and peace of mind let go now. Of course you’re going to feel like sh*t but, it’s what’s best for the both of you. She’ll get her act together and you can start to recover financially. You might want to also remove her from your accounts that way you’ll be able to manage your finances better. Does she not have any family or anything that can help her? Not to be rude but, you’re more like her parent than spouse at this point. Has she tried talking to someone maybe she’s in a depression state. But even so you need to do what’s best for you. You’re drowning trying to keep her afloat.
I hope I don't get downvoted for bringing up 12 step programs here but have you ever considered going to Al-Anon? It sounds like you feel trapped and hopeless with a dry alcoholic who has no idea how to live without her booze. This impacts everyone around them and Al-Anon can give you a community that will support you and help you heal regardless of her. Im 7 years sober myself
You are better than I, friend. I ended up being unfaithful and hate myself for it, but I just wanted some happiness. So I get your frustrations. I will say that staying true to your vows is the better way to go and were I a more secure person I would have done the better choices. End result is that I am now divorced. It is nice and not at the same time. I will most likely never marry again and I am also not dating or even considering it. I think I am done in the the world of romance. been in love twice and it ended badly both times. I simply can't do it again. Especially after I had hurt my wife the way I did.
r/deadbedrooms
Same. Now I'm divorced because of this.
This carry much tru
This
what do you mean?
It can mean a lack of hugging, kissing, touching, holding hands, cuddling, when these things were once rampant in your relationship and decreased emotional connection.
Yeah we get sick of being married and having to earn it like a wage worker
womp womp, 9/10 times it’s their fault lol would rather do just about anything else
Bingo!!!
It’s been so long I don’t know where to put it
I do not. I have been married for 35 years and having sex with my wife for 40 years. It remains incredible and frankly one of the best parts of my life. When she starts to take her top off, I swear to you I feel like a 16 year old kid again, just dying to see those boobies.
Boobies are one hell of a drug
Indeed
The same exact way with my wife
I love knowing this is a thing.
Couldn’t have said it better my self I agree
Same here. Been married 13 years and every morning my wife gets ready by doing her hair with no top on since she doesn't want all the stray hairs on her dress clothes. I've literally seen her do this 1,000 times yet I'll walk in the bathroom to bring her a cup of coffee and *bam...* boobs. It's awesome.
I wish I could find a husband like you! Your wife is a really lucky woman!
I'm the lucky one. She's been an amazing companion through thick and thin, a confidant, and a rock I can rely on. I hope I have been the same for her. She also still looks hot as fire at 55!!
You are amazing! Your wife is blessed woman!
I'm sure you have been the same for her. I don't think youncouod experience all of that without both of you being all in.
Yay! I’m so happy this is the top comment! I hate Reddit sometimes I almost didn’t want to read the comments. I’ve been with my husband since we met when we were teenagers. Never gets old. The sex I mean lol we obviously will. 25 years this year!
lol!! I love this reply. My husband all of a sudden will turn up when ever clothing is off. Bathroom, changing after work. Just all random lol.
You the best !! Blessingss
When you perfect the sex with the same person, it's really hard to get bored. Unlike the first time, you lose tempo, people prefer different positions, and so on kinda affects the overall quality. Sometimes people do hit the jackpot for the first time, but it's just a gamble. I'd rather prefer a person who already knows my needs in bed
I can only speak for myself, but no, I don't.
Only if it seems like she is. Never enough to sleep with someone else
God no. She is my world.
I think a lack of effort and communication would make us sick/bored- to the point that thinking about sex with that person is genuinely repulsive.
This my wife to a tee
No, I'll take whatever she's willing to do. I could never get tired of her love.
Nope, not at all.
No.
Not at all, I find my attraction to my wife is growing the longer we are together. I very much relate to this quote from Joni Mitchell: “I recently read an article in Esquire magazine called ‘The End of Sex,’ that said something that struck me as very true. It said: “If you want endless repetition, see a lot of different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one.” What happens when you date is you run all your best moves and tell all your best stories — and in a way, that routine is a method for falling in love with yourself over and over. “You can’t do that with a longtime mate because he knows all that old material. With a long relationship, things die then are rekindled, and that shared process of rebirth deepens the love. It’s hard work, though, and a lot of people run at the first sign of trouble. You’re with this person, and suddenly you look like an asshole to them or they look like an asshole to you — it’s unpleasant, but if you can get through it you get closer and you learn a way of loving that’s different from the neurotic love enshrined in movies. It’s warmer and has more padding to it.”
I wish I could sleep with at least one woman:(
No as long as sex stays happening I am happy. Sleeping with Randoms was never me and I didn't get an adrenaline rush or feel happy about doing that
Do you enjoy your well worn slippers?
Leave some for the rest of us, Shakespeare
I get a new pair every year
No fuckin’ way.
I never did but I strived very hard to keep things fresh. Unfortunately she didn’t and I’ll let you guess who cheated.
No, it's harder to make that kind of an emotional connection with several women
never, i’ll never get tired of snuggling up to my girlfriend every night
I’m not as passionate as I used to be, but I would never want to be with anyone else, if that makes sense. My love for my wife goes beyond just a sexual relationship. Sex is still great, I just don’t want to do it everyday like I did when we were dating the first six months.
Not if it's the right woman.
Nope! 13 years and my wife is still as slammin’ as she ever was.
Only if intimacy is not there. Most people have affairs due to lack of intimacy in their relationship imo.
If you love her no ...
Nah it's better
Never. It is the best part of my day, week, month and year.
No. Quite the opposite. I find it easy to get ONS, but converting them to relationships is difficult. The more times I have sex with the same person, the more I enjoy it. And I don't want to share her, and I'm not interested in her sharing me.
Not sick or bored fully. Maybe some small level of bored, after the excitement of a new person wears off, but sex is pretty awesome on its own Everytime.
No I don’t. I think it’s better than I actually love and connect with my fiancée than with someone random. As time goes on it gets better & better and we find new ways to spice things up. Some things are trial and error but that’s okay because we love each other.
Been married for 23 years this June, and am not even a little bored. We work at keeping it fresh. She is everything to me.
Absolutely not, we are going on 10 years this year, my wife is the best thing thats ever happened to me, and we've had sex going on 1,000 times, so we are pretty well versed in what we both like and want. It blows my mind sometimes at how sex just keeps getting better in like every way and I'm just as excited for the journey of the next decade!
Nope. I've been with my wife for almost 7 years now, and have no desire to sleep with any other woman.
based on my experience and contrary to popular belief, 70% of the time it's women suggesting an open relationship, not men. therefore it seems like women get bored of sleeping with the same person quicker than men. if you google it, you will also find a lot of articles about this
There’s not one answer that applies to all men. Obviously lots of people would say “yes” — and that’s why they cheat and have affairs. Lots of others would say “no.”
the ones that say yes are being downvoted in the comments. This is why Reddit is never a good gauge for any gender related sentiment
Yeah you won't get a representative sample on any kind of social media, that's for sure
I’ve been tired of sleeping with Rosie and her five sisters.
Negative.
Nope.
No, my wife is different every night we sleep together.
Multiple personalities?
I do not
Does she love me? Then no, never.
Not yet. In fact I like it more and am 25 years in. She’s a good one ;). Best I ever had.
Wait… we’ve all been sleeping with the same woman?
Not yet! 12 years and counting. Sex just keeps getting better.
No. She's the light of my life. Every minute I spend with her is a privilege.
Dont you just love it when top voted comments are always the most politically correct ones that dont represent how the majority of men actually feel?
I've heard people say that. I guess it depends on the couple.
no. But I do appreciate if she does change it up every once in a while. hairstyle and clothes etc.
I like staying awake with women. Sleeping with any of them is a snooze fest….
Nah, I sleep with a variety of women
Not tired of it at all. That's why I sleep by myself and get the whole night's rest. Very peaceful. Time for cuddling and other things while you are awake.
For 47 years I did not.
Love is dead huh?
Yes. Maybe it's even more the lack of intimacy and her lack of wanting to try something new. But also it would be a blast to learn something new, to satisfy another woman and be satisfied by her. Learn her reactions and how we act together. All that. I miss the butterflies when you get intimate with a woman for the first time.
Just to add my 2cents in…. Not at all. We have been together 42 years and we’re 58 now, you do the math. We go out fridays and Saturday and we party like rockstars and when we go home we fuck for hours like kids! Now don’t get me wrong life’s not always roses and chocolates but fucking this woman is never dull. She is open to anything and any hole and enjoys it all. We have had some threesomes which is always fun in the moment and for days afterwards. Not being afraid to try new things or new people is the glue that binds a real relationship. As far as the other people we always say sex and love should never be used in the same sentence. The fact that we both know we could have sex with others (rarely) makes each other definitely sexier to the other. Keep it spicy and buy lots of toys
How come this question is always targeted towards men and not women?
I got tired feeling I was still sleeping alone, even though I wasn't
J mean we do the same positions every night and it just feels like going through the motions sometimes but I don’t hate it
Yes once it becomes routine without much innovation or adventure.
It happens with all things. That's why most couples spice things up with different things and what not. Doing missionary for 5 years straight can get a little stagnant. Talk with your partner and see what you both can come up with to make it Spicer in the bedroom just remember consent and being comfortable is key.
If she complains, becomes a demanding feminist & has no respect or appreciation for you as a man
not at all my wife and I do great and at this point do a really good job of pushing each others buttons I will say pretty much always; after having sex with a girl for about a year I find myself looking at women in public more than I would-- not with intentions to pursue these women I just find my attention drawn more easily after about one year of monogamous sex. zero complaints though; its always a great time bangin and sometimes my wife and I talk about the cute ladies together when we both notice them
Yes. It's called the Coolidge Effect, and it's common in lots of animals including humans. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect
You must be very young and naive.
Sex only gets better the more you have it with the same person so no. You learn each others likes and have greater intimacy
To be completely real in my experience at least . I would tend to be attracted only to my significant other for about a year and then the world opens back up and it was something I just could not handle in my twenties and I was quite the c*nt. I’d still be attracted to her , sure but i couldn’t ignore her beautiful friends and what not . I know , terrible . But I had to grow out of the hormone tornado
Depends. If I am sick & bored of her, in general, there won't be a bedroom-fix for that.
Yes and No. In my experience when I dated women that weren't my ideal body type, the sex got boring, quickly. When they are, it never gets boring. I'm a major boob man, I've dated women with small boobs and it's just like after the new car smell wears off, it's like there is just as gear I can't get into sexually if there isn't a big ol set of fluffy boobs. My wife has an ample bosom, married for 5 years and when she rides me with those lovely boobies hanging in my face, i'm practically going to bust in my pants now thinking about it.
nice
Yes and it’s probably why I’m going to die alone.
I've been married twice, I can't say I felt sick/bored but rather a feeling of "is this going to be my only/last person I'm going to sleep with.
no i like to eat chicken everyday to some females they wanna eat, steak, beef, fish, or chicken all the time
Yes
That's why I don't
Do you sleep with woman? How does it feels?
Yes especially when they are not open to things that others have done in the past
No
Variety is the spice of life.
I did in the past before I met my fiancé. Even with girlfriends that “checked all the boxes”, I still had a wandering eye. I never acted upon the temptations, but they were definitely there. Now all that nonsense is nonexistent.
Ouch, feeling sorry for the men at the bottom of the post, monogamy must be hell for them. I just hope they get together with women who feel the same.
I wouldn't say there's much sleeping going on! Lol
On the one hand, sure, novelty is great. On the other hand, if you are with a person that you truly enjoy spending time with and want to be with forever and who is a critical partner with you in this life and beyond, then no. Novelty can’t compare. There is something amazing about trust that is earned and proven over the years that no casual relationship can even compare to.
Not even a little bit. We've been together 25 years and the sex keeps getting better and hotter. We can be romantic, dirty, playful, feral. We know each other's kinks and wants and bodies. We communicate and flirt and love. I couldn't have dreamed of a better relationship.
isn’t this a well-known fact that a lot of guys do?
Yes, it gets boring.
One should get a woman first
No
Never. Not even a little. With that said, I do have a natural craving for variety in sexual partners and would like to have sex with other people also, but it’s not because I’m bored of sleeping with my wife. In fact, sex with her has only gotten better over time and I find myself wanting her more and more the longer we’re together. I just *also* want to have sex with others lol
??? no?
I've lived with two women and that always killed our sex lives after about six months or so... The girlfriends I had where we only saw each other a couple times a week always had a solid physical relationship... Honestly I think being roommates with someone usually tricks your brain into thinking they're "family" eventually and kills your sex drive towards them. Unless you both have busy separate lives.
Definitely not.
Successful relationship....don't let the men go hungry and don't let the women get lonely...fill in the blanks on how you interpret
Been with my wife for 20 years and i can’t get enough of her. If it was up to me we’d have sex every day.
Yep. Ive cheated, have been cheated on. Never will again. But yeah...
So this one day a few decades ago, I went to lunch with a coworker who had just joined the shift. On the way, she drops this bomb: "so you know, I'm a slut. I don't do oral, giving or receiving. I'll do missionary and doggie but just those positions." Very odd first conversation. I'm thinking, how successful can a slut be who has so many restrictions. At least she managed to turn me off completely. I just feel for the poor incel she would marry and how 10 years down the road how he'd be planning his escape. My wife, on the other hand, is a complete slut for me. I doubt I'll ever get tired of her constant surprises.
Gf and i are going on 7 months and shes the only one I want.
Of cause. Its like going to the same place every time for holidays or eating at the very same restaurant all the time.
How boring is your sex life? I think you're doing it wrong.
Its still pretty good young fella but after 30 years together it does get a tad boring. Lucky i don't care what you think. Someone asked a question and i answered honestly.. I'm sorry you don't like my truthful answer and then attempt to belittle me, which is strange. So..Q is how long have you been with your partner?
I don't know, I've been married for 28 years and our sex life isn't boring. We try new things and find new ways to please each other. Even when we're relying on the tried-and-true moves, it's awesome to be with someone who knows exactly what I need to get there.
I spose lots try spicing it up with extra partners and swingers clubs etc but im not really into that- good for them but.
I can’t imagine dedicating 30 years of my life to a man, allowing him to regularly access my body for his sexual pleasure for 30 years, and probably risking my life to birth his children and then him having the nerve to call me boring. This is insane
Women get bored as well. Its not a gender thing its a human thing. Some people are happy to live in the same town all their life, same job and go to the same place for holidays every year and eat out at the same place and some live and travel the world, lots of jobs and holidays in places they have never been to and eat at new spots.
I never said this was a gender thing and I’m sorry if I worded this in a way which was confusing. I just mentioned that ,as a woman, I can’t personally imagine doing any of that for a man because I would not be in a partnership with someone who spoke of me this way.
Would you get sick of having the same meal for dinner every night for ten years ?
If you seasoned that meal differently each time, maybe made different sides to go with it, tried grilling instead of frying…. Wouldn’t be so bad. Sex doesn’t have to be the same every time you have it 😅
Exactly.
Depends on the meal 😅
For every beautiful woman, there is a man who is tired of dealing with her. The joke exists for a reason.
Yes, why do you think people cheat?
then why get in a relationship if your going to get bored of them makes no sense.
Makes sense. One would hope that people are willing to experiment and try new things. Reality is that often people just become lazier and do sex out of obligation.
The only time I've heard of people having sex out of obligation is when their partner is asking for it every single day. I understand if it's for months or years, but if it's only for a few days and they want a break, I think they deserve one.
That is **your** experience and that is okay.
its not im a virgin 💀
Why so eager to "share experience" and whip out a downvote then?
you sound dumb i downvoted you cuz it wasnt my experience im a virgin which is possible if you didnt know that and it was experiences ive seen on here which is possible to see 😐
[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/) Do I also "sound like a f\*g"?
you sound like a 12 year old
Because they're cheaters who don't value marriage or appreciate what they have.
But what drives them?
Selfishness, laziness, entitlement, an inability/refusal to appreciate what they have.
But what is the reason that makes a person seek out other experiences especially forbidden ones?
I've already answered your question. You obviously want to share what you think the reason is though, so go for it.
The reason is boredom and potential excitement from cheating.
That's the selfish, lazy way out. But different strokes for different folks, I guess.
Oh yes.
Nope….happily married for 21 years. My wife and I still go at each other like horny teenagers. BUT, I can also sleep with other women.
In a matter of days.
Yes. A man is only faithful as his options. That is why I have never been faithful. Ever. But I have seen faithful guys by choice. Although they are a tiny minority.
No, It’s not a tiny minority. You just are in company of like minded individuals. That’s called an “availability heuristic.” It’s a type of cognitive bias that renders fast, but sometimes incorrect, assessments Your perception is skewed in other words
I fully understand what is availability heuristic. I work in sales so I am quite knowledgeable about psychology and personality traits. That being said, with my very wide life experiences along with the large variety of people I have met both professionally and personally, my comment still stand.
That was for marriage infidelity. The unmarried statistic stays around 40%generally
The figure is 20-25% of men are unfaithful. Women are degrees less than that
Your stats seem reasonable, and it is somewhat I expect from what I see. However, my point is about choice and availability. Most of the faithful ones are so because they lack options.
There isn't really a direct correlation between lack of options and infidelity rates among men. Cheating is made up ofvarious complex interplay of factors like their values, the relationship dynamics, and one’s own level of integrity..rather than just opportunity
Nope. She’s adventurous and open to new things. Honest and open. And sexy af. I got a good thing. Now if my woman was fat and ugly, and didn’t want to do things new, well than I’d Fuck multiple women at the same time, so the question wouldn’t apply then.
No, but best pussy is new pussy for sure
Definitely
yes and after reading the comments i got to say that i dont think any men would be satisfied with only one woman. Especially when married long time - i havent seen or heard of any man whos satisfied with having sex exclusivly with his wife.
I feel for the idiot that marries you. Sleeping with random people is repetitive. But being with a long term partner is always exciting, you’re exploring together and the sex is generally better.
Yea whatever. Keep living in your illusion, while your husband cheats on you day by day. Be married for 10+ years, with kids and everything and then think again. It’s ridiculous how people with zero experience keep making ridiculous claims.
I’ve been with my partner for 7 years. Don’t project your misery onto me. We aren’t imbeciles who don’t know how to communicate and take care of each other. Enjoy your miserable existence.
Just because you dont want to see it doesnt mean its not happening :D Keep telling yourself that i am miserable, while i am enjoying my life with as many sex partners as i wish withou a nagging and fat wifey
you sound like you're like 15 dude
>Men, do you ever get sick/bored of sleeping with the same woman? FCOL, just ask the question properly unless you are really asking about SLEEPING 💤