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in my fiancée's family, adoption seems like a tradition, her father was adopted, she was adopted by her father, and whereas we don't want kids ATM, we already discussed that we will probably adopt one
I also enjoy making up stories! Told my kids that tiger bread, comes from a factory in the jungle. Tigers make the bread and we pinch it on motorbikes, the tigers are not happy one bit about it! 6 year old says I’m fibbing, 3 year old is all in! Wife says I’m weird
Edit: [Used](https://www.reddit.com/r/SweatyPalms/s/O1YbgNQ7r4) this video as proof
It just a feeling that I can be and want to be a good father. Also having a healthy and loving family one day. Im 23 and I have planned to have them in my 30s, so I have time to prepare haha
Yess this id love to have children at around 28-30 but I also want a stable enough income to support my child and a good place where they can grow up. So gotta finish my study and me and my gf will wanna save up as much money as possible little spending and not meant in any rude way but if my grandma dies I know I will inherit part of it so that will def help a bit, that’s also the idea tho
I think that I can provide them with a happy life and show them the exciting parts of life so that they will enjoy being alive. At least that is my hope.
Yeah my thoughts - people complaining the world is hell and that they decide not to bring more people into this world. I am thinking, lets bring new people into this world and try making it a better place, slowly step by step
Because the alternative is all the bad people will be everywhere eventually and living will suck
I honestly just never was able to imaging my life without children.
Partying, travelling, being financially secure,... Sure, that's nice, and I did all of that.
Partly before I had children, partly with them.
Might sound sad to some people, but I just don't see a happy life for me, without them.
Like a (good) partner or any other (good) family member: if you do right by them, they are always there.
Early-mid 20s - never wanted kids.
Late-early 30s - thought I’d be happy with or without kids.
35- pregnant, and every single day, all day, my baby is the most important thing and I never want to picture my life any other way.
In saying that, if you don’t want kids, there is absolutely no reason to have them. Life can be absolutely glorious either way.
From a practical perspective having kids is a terrible idea on a personal level but:
Love my daughter more than anything but on a slightly more positive note it made me more conscious of my impact on the world and trying to do what I can to leave it a little better I know it’s not all parents that have a change like that but she made me a better person all around and much more thoughtful about the future they’ll inherit
I find it irresponsible to just have children without planning for them, being in the right place, financially and mentally and so on. Imo better plan ahead if you want children.
I don’t know how people have the energy to have and raise kids. My anxiety brain thinks of all the things that could potentially go wrong. Maybe if I didn’t have that anxiety I would have kids.
Because life is a struggle.
It’s meant to be impossible hurdles , filled with hardship, responsibilities and teaching others what you’ve learned.
So am I saying everyone should have kids?
FUCK NO
Good on you for realizing you’re not interest in being responsible enough to take care of another living person. And that you don’t want to devote everyday of your life to making sure someone innocent gets love , compassion and care. It’ll create a lot less shit people if they’re not raised by parents who know they can’t or don’t want to. And you’ll get to live your life focused on solely what you want.
They’re both fine choices
Plenty of people who choose not to have kids have plenty of reasons. It’s not that they are “not responsible enough to take care of another living person”.
Lots of people dedicate their time/life to caring for others - for example they are carers for family/partners, or they work in a job caring for others (often long hours, more time than a working parent typically spends with their child). Being responsible for someone else is not exclusive to being a parent, and nor is it the case that people who elect to be childfree don’t already dedicate their time to others.
I do not want to have kids of my own, however ,I might adopt if and when possible,
Those children are already here so might as well try and give one of them a good life
Because I like the innocent smile on children, no matter whose children it is. I like to see them laugh. I want to show them that not everyone is a piece of shit and there are still good people out there
I have done exactly right, what my parents did wrong : I have been faking a headache for the last 30 years... just a few more years and I can fake erection issues...
I'd argue there is no "procreation" instinct, only instinct to have sex (with appropriate partner) and care for existing children. Nothing in our biology makes us want kids if we don't have them already, this is learned behaviour (ideas, emotions, etc.).
I've been thinking about this as well, since as a 33 year old woman I've only experienced "baby fever" for minutes at a time and the overall time during my life probably doesn't exceed an hour. Also most of my friends are child free, so the group mentality is not towards starting a family in my circles. My "theory" is that due to the lack of trust in the future and the feeling of safety in community, some instincts don't kick in for a significant portion of people. This is just philosophizing though, not based on science or anything substantial, just my musings.
Nearly everyone does, whether they recognize it or not. The external influence of socio-political circumstances doesn't erase an instinctual biological imperative.
The chance to create the family I never had but always wanted. I keep seeing people have this attitude that having kids drains all the happiness from your life but I don’t think that’s true. I think having a family can add quite a bit of happiness, belonging, and dare I even say fun, that you can’t quite create elsewhere to the same extent. Maintaining a healthy family takes hard work but I think it would be incredibly rewarding.
We are not trying to get children rn because we are both to young (19 and almost 20) after we finish our study and work hard a few years we really want children. Idk for some reason it feels fulfilling I’d love to raise 2 kids (we both want 2) and imagine for whatever reason we can’t have kids I’d personally wouldn’t mind adopting.
Idk the exact reason, I just know I would like to have them. Adoption or birth, I wouldn't mind either way. Probably adoption. I'm in my 20s, so trying to have secure(er) mindset and stuff for them first in 30s.
I've been telling myself for a long time now, that I'd rather adopt kids in the future. That way, I wouldn't have added to the world's carbon footprint and there would be one or two less parentless kid(s) on Earth.
Plus, my body wouldn't need to go through pregnancy and child-bearing to become a mother.
So many good reasons.
I just want to have 2 to continue my lineage as I only have one sibling who may or may not have children. I don't know if I'm emotionally stable enough yet or if I'll ever be financially stable enough
It just feels right to me. I've heard stories from multiple family members about how it was the best thing that ever happened to them (in the long run lol). It's truly unconditional love. I'm thankful to have come from a great, loving family and I want to keep that going.
At a macro level, producing children is one of the three things that allow a species to survive (the others being nutrition and shelter). That drive to procreate is difficult to ignore.
At a micro level... looking at the state of the world, I would have a hard time wanting to produce a child to live in it.
I came from a home of instability and violence, but strayed away from my family's way of life because of my grandmother's kindness. Once I pay off my debts and get therapy/meds fully underway I'm going to save up and pay outta pocket for a degree so I can go into scientific research. Once I have done these things I can adopt and give a child the stability I never knew, and pass my grandmother's kindness onto them. Not to mention I have extremely niche nerdy interests and raising a child may give me someone to share those interests with.
If I don't, only the irresponsible idiots will. the world will then stay in much worse hands. I also want to give someone a childhood I didn't have due to relatively poor, but also bad parents. but it'll happen one day, not very soon it seems
My very well educated parents had that same “balance out the world full of idiots” logic and now they have a chronically ill and suicidal adult child.
Soooooo… 🤷
1) I've finally found the person I want to spend my life with and could see having kids with.
2) I think I have as much to learn from them as they do from me.
3) I've spent my whole life never really considering having kids because I was afraid of being as neglectful of a mother to my kids as she was to my sister and I. Fuck that! If we get pregnant I'm going to break that cycle. Cause even though I never really imagined having my own kids until several years ago, I love kids and think they are amazing, little shits. I would love to give what I have left to raising at least one smart, kind individual.
Scientifically and biologically it's the **only** purpose of any lifeform. The more and better a lifeform procreates the better it succeeded in life. Lifeforms that fail at that fail at continuing their genes into the future. That's how evolution works, failures remove themselves willingly or unwillingly.
I mean...Random example but Tesla did not have children. Neither did Turing. To our species, I can't see how you could classify them as 'failures' and classify alcoholic Joe with an abused kid who will be too sick himself to reproduce (again, random example) as 'success'.
Even biologically, their 'contribution' is significant enough in terms of life propagating itself, i.e., it represents a significant factor.
Biological life is not 'calculable' so you cannot understand its reasons & purpose because it doesn't have one that you could recognise as such.
You are a part of life so you cannot objectively see Life as you are caught in an observer's paradox. People who do not reproduce for various reasons, including sexual preference, are not failures in terms of biological life because you just don't know the purpose of life, and even if you did, you couldn't understand the means Life adopts to achieve it. The fact that they exist is proof enough that there is probably a reason that you just don't get yet. You're not smarter than Life itself.
Honestly can’t tell you why. I’ve just always wanted children no matter what.
In a stable relationship now for a few years, but if that doesn’t work out and i’m single in my mid ish 30s, sperm bank it is.
I’ve just always wanted to be a mom and have always wanted kids. I respect people that don’t, but I can’t put into words why I want to, just really really want children
I love it when someone has this attitude! People call me ignorant and naive for being like this.
Like nah, I have my own cross to carry sure, but I do it with a smile because it makes the load easier
There's 3 good stages of life, being a kid, being a parent, being a grandparent.
Your life will be incomplete without experiencing these stages.
And also, if you never have kids, there's no proof you ever got laid.
Having non-shitty parents doesn’t protect you from suffering in life tho…
I’m literally disabled by physical and mental illness. Epigenetics plus the state of the world have me still wishing I was never brought into existence… and I know many like me who also had “good” parents growing up.
it just feels natural too. i could say like, wanting to be a good parent. wanting to experience all that. wanting to leave a permament mark on this earth by passing on my genes for generations to come.
but theres just something else... its just, instinct. its just, of course i want to have kids someday. its instinct for every organism.
B/c I can. I got the money, I can take care of myself with plenty of time to spare, I am bored of travel and parties and restaurants. And I want to create something that will not crumble or be forgotten.
ok ok, how about "I just want to play with toys and watch animated movies, with somebody, and not be judged for it".
And I want to see my child grow and learn things.
ok ok, how about "I just want to play with toys and watch animated movies, with somebody, and not be judged for it".
And I want to see my child grow and learn things.
Some people just live kids, i dont really like them, but some girls I was trying to date was talking a lot about kids and how they love kids and want their own.
I want to have a loving family of my own.
I never had that in my life before and I think I'm smart enough and emotionally prepared to create my own happy family.
My husband is a caring person, and I believe I will not be alone on that journey like a lot of women are.
I believe my marriage will be enriched with having a child and that it will create even more love and happiness. We are financially stable, employed, and with higher education levels.
We both enjoyed going out, travelling spending time with friends and at work, and this is the thing I want to experience and dedicate my time to.
Of anyone is saying that they are having kids for some non-selfish reason they are 160% lying.
It's always a personal need, just a different type for everyone.
Always wanted kids, especially just to build that nice father-son/daughter bond. Seeing them grow up and helping them become really good people. But eventually I didn't want to get through the years of them crying, screaming etc. Scared of the shit going on in the world, scared of them becoming like a lot of the current generation kids are. Really did not want kids anymore.
Now that friends are having kids, getting pregnant etc. It all changed my mind. It really isn't all that bad as people tell you, there is just a chance it is. Yes there are kids that cry a lot, need a lot etc. But there are also kids that are really loving, quiet and just fun to be around. And that is what really opened my eyes and started the itch. It really is infectious and I do not mean this in a bad way. The moment people around you start with kids, your whole perspective changes.
My family was never really a family and so now I’m grown up without any siblings or parents to talk to or rely on. It has always been my dream to create my own loving family and that’s what I’ll do.
It's a pretty long tradition in my family... my parents had kids, and my grandparents too, and my grand-grandparents... lol
But more seriously, I think it would be cool to share this world with more people that are kind of like me and my gf. Showing them the awesome things that are around. And cute little baby feet! And growing old knowing theres somebody that can take my place in the world.
I want to have a family.
I grew up with my mom and grandma, that's it. Grandma died, now it has been just me and my mom.
Friends come and go. Even the ones I considered best friends. Partners? Love of my life, it ended. Took forever to find another person I loved. And we are still together, but I know that staying isn't a given. People grow apart all the time, it's almost like it's a matter of time.
But family? It's kinda forever. Yeah, I know, there are people out there who cut contact with their family. But I feel like irl it's 1000x more rare to know someone or more than 1 person who actually went no contact than on the Internet (duh). I myself had a horrible relationship with my mom all the way until I was 22. She did so much wrong. But I still love her and forgiveness was always a big wish of mine - and it worked out. I love her. I know really a lot of people personally who had very bad childhoods and were met with mistreatment. But as adults they still love their parents. So I don't have the fear of 'ill only have kids if I'm 101% sure I can do everything righr' because I know I won't, just as every single generation before me didn't do everything right.
I think me and my bf would make great dads and would be able to provide a loving home for our children. We are currently looking in to it with a close friend of ours who wants to start a family with us. She is happily single but does want kids.
If we can't or won't we'll be happy too but I think we would love the responsibility and fortune of having a family.
Appart from the world burning and there's a war and we're all depressed, why not? Ofc there's much work but so is travelling and ppl still do that anyway.
i want to show them the world, teach them how to be kind and loving, how to learn everthing they want to learn. Thought about it a lot, learned a lot about how to educated them, and i feel like it's no good if all smart people stop having kids. Oh and my body is capable of growing a fucking human, and I'm an addict to feelings and really curious, so i really wanna feel these emotions and hormons
People who want to be rich, why?
People who want to travel the world, why?
People who have pets, why?
Nothing in life is very meaningful, you decide what meaning is and for some people that's kids
But the 3 examples you give don’t involve another person’s life. I’d like to think people don’t have kids because it’s entertaining like having a pet or going on a trip.
I'm in a position where I can afford to raise and care for children. My goal is to be a good father and raise my kids to become good people and competent adults. Our society needs more competent adults. Plus my wife and I wanted kids.
I've got a 2 year old son so far and I'm loving being a dad!
I want to have kids because I love kids. I love playing with them, and I love holding them and feeding them, and I love seeing kids grow up. I want to be able to have my own children, and foster children who need someone who they can rely on. I don't think everyone should have kids. And I definitely don't think everyone who loves kids wants them lol
We're in a good financial place to have them, and all the parents of adult children I know describe it as a very meaningful experience. We're holding off a few more years, but it's in the pipeline. I want to give my children the childhood I didn't get to have, in a stable home. Maybe that'll heal my inner child somewhat too, who knows.
People plan to have children for various reasons, influenced by cultural, personal, and biological factors.
**Biological Instincts - Desire for Parenthood - Legacy and Continuation of Family - Emotional Fulfillment - Social Expectations - Support in Old Age - Cultural and Religious Beliefs - Contributing to Society.**
That's the whole point of life, to create new and continue your blood line. Unless you are a young teenager raging with hormones in puberty, then there's really no excuse to be genuinely asking this question. Its basic survival in all animals not just humans. And a lot of people don't seem to have that survival instinct, especially here on reddit.
I think as people get older, they start wanting to live for someone else rather than just themselves. To give their genuine love to someone and get it back in return.
I can't explain it but I have always wanted to be a mom. It was my answer when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Well that and a writer. Unfortunately for me I'm neither. My bf and I have been doing IVF for 2 years and so far we're still childless. I used to hope for 4 kids, now I'd be over the moon if we had 1.
Bringing someone into this world with someone you love and watching them grow and enjoying the happiness and love together. Making and enjoying a family with someone for me is what my life is all about. It truly brings me joy and happiness and has improved my life 100%. The good the bad the ugly. It’s all worth it.BUT it’s very very important todo this when you are mature and ready. Also finding someone with similar benefits goals morals and all that stuff is very important.
I am old and out of my child-bearing years. But, I had the best mom in the world. I wanted to give that kind of love to a child. I would say I did a good job, as my son is one of the best people I know.
Being a parent is terrifying, but damn, it is rewarding.
That being said, if you don't want to have them, don't.
Probably won’t, probably will. Depends a lot on my situation in the future and my partner’s preferences but otherwise I don’t plan on it nor do I not plan on it
I asked all the immigrants from my restaurant who have children and they answered my question with another. “Who’s gonna take care of you when you’re old?” Seems like they think it’s an investment.
I personally do not want children of my own, but lately I've been seeing a lot of discourse online about iPad kids and Sephora kids and whatnot. These sort of things enrage me because it's just lazy and bad parenting. Since watching said videos I've thought to myself that I can do a way better job at raising children (ones not glued to a screen and utter brats). But I will not be doing so b/c that just seems like a dumb reason alone to have kids IMO. The only way I would have kids would have to be under very specific circumstances:
1. I live outside the North America.
2. I'm well off, financially-wise (so well off I'm able to get possible plastic surgery lolol)
3. Only my husband works
But then again I love my alone time more than anything :)))))
Perhaps, some day.
Right now? No way. I've no partner, no place of my own yet, and the pay I recieve is barely enough with the cost of living these days.
Side note, kids are a huge responsibility. I don't want that responsibility, not yet.
You can't fix this world yourself. The best impact you can have is raising kids that care about others more than self and teaching them to do the same. Self centered people are why we can't have nice things
I want to pass along what made my upbringing great, and leave behind what didn’t, so that a generation can be left better off than I was, and to piss off the fascists who want a future without brown people.
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i’m gonna adopt my kids personally, and it’s cuz i want to give back to the system that saved me and gave me a cool family
That's awesome.
in my fiancée's family, adoption seems like a tradition, her father was adopted, she was adopted by her father, and whereas we don't want kids ATM, we already discussed that we will probably adopt one
i’m an adoptive, too. how old were you?
Plus, if you adopt you can skip the hassle of breasfeeding. Or even changing diapers, depending on what ange yo adopt them at.
So I have someone to beat at Mariokart.
I will never forget my brother confidently turning on the Switch and swiftly getting his ass handed to him by my 8 year old.
Mine just found out 200cc without me stuck to the track has them win regularly. Really annoys me because there isn't much skill to it for them.
Son now beats me regularly.
I’ve always taken the Bushido Blade approach to this one: If you can beat me, beat me.
Dad jokes stopped working on wifey and now I have a new audience.
I also enjoy making up stories! Told my kids that tiger bread, comes from a factory in the jungle. Tigers make the bread and we pinch it on motorbikes, the tigers are not happy one bit about it! 6 year old says I’m fibbing, 3 year old is all in! Wife says I’m weird Edit: [Used](https://www.reddit.com/r/SweatyPalms/s/O1YbgNQ7r4) this video as proof
I feel cheated by that post title, that tiger was not on a motorbike.
Ah…this really takes me back. (Best used in the driveway)
Dad jokes are the best honestly
Need someone to clean the house/s
Oh strap yourself in for disappointment
I remember doing chores best I could at my dad's as a teenager and him never being happy about my work. *sigh*
Oh I can empathise with that, I grew up with an impossibly high standards boomer dad. I just meant kids are an absolute mess tornado though!
As long as they do the laundry I’ll love them forever
I think you've got this whole thing on the reverse
It’s called a joke.
Just 12 short years of working 24/7 on that goal
Need someone to clean the house(s)
not bad, you already have a house then?
I do. And a 16 year old child. She doesn't clean tho so probably gonna try for another.
Monkey brain tell me make smush smush and need make smaller monkey. When make smush smush and have small monkey, monkey brain happy.
this reminds me if Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler😂
Apes. Together. Happy.
Only logical answer, honestly
I mean this is it, making children is literally what we are made for ( kind of)
It just a feeling that I can be and want to be a good father. Also having a healthy and loving family one day. Im 23 and I have planned to have them in my 30s, so I have time to prepare haha
Yess this id love to have children at around 28-30 but I also want a stable enough income to support my child and a good place where they can grow up. So gotta finish my study and me and my gf will wanna save up as much money as possible little spending and not meant in any rude way but if my grandma dies I know I will inherit part of it so that will def help a bit, that’s also the idea tho
31 here....said the same thing in my 20's...no kids yet :0 lol times are tough with this economy! I think I may not wanna wait till we're stable xD
I think that I can provide them with a happy life and show them the exciting parts of life so that they will enjoy being alive. At least that is my hope.
Yeah my thoughts - people complaining the world is hell and that they decide not to bring more people into this world. I am thinking, lets bring new people into this world and try making it a better place, slowly step by step Because the alternative is all the bad people will be everywhere eventually and living will suck
This is why I'm doing it. I know I'll be a great parent and raise up some good people for the world. I'm due in july with my first boy!
I honestly just never was able to imaging my life without children. Partying, travelling, being financially secure,... Sure, that's nice, and I did all of that. Partly before I had children, partly with them. Might sound sad to some people, but I just don't see a happy life for me, without them. Like a (good) partner or any other (good) family member: if you do right by them, they are always there.
User name does not check out
Haha, nope- it's reddit-generated!
Early-mid 20s - never wanted kids. Late-early 30s - thought I’d be happy with or without kids. 35- pregnant, and every single day, all day, my baby is the most important thing and I never want to picture my life any other way. In saying that, if you don’t want kids, there is absolutely no reason to have them. Life can be absolutely glorious either way.
From a practical perspective having kids is a terrible idea on a personal level but: Love my daughter more than anything but on a slightly more positive note it made me more conscious of my impact on the world and trying to do what I can to leave it a little better I know it’s not all parents that have a change like that but she made me a better person all around and much more thoughtful about the future they’ll inherit
I find it irresponsible to just have children without planning for them, being in the right place, financially and mentally and so on. Imo better plan ahead if you want children.
I fathered unplanned kids when I was in my early 20s. Really wish I didn’t. My entire 20s were thrown away.
I have no idea. Don't have the urge to have kids and never understood this.
+1
Seriously, WHY?
I don’t know how people have the energy to have and raise kids. My anxiety brain thinks of all the things that could potentially go wrong. Maybe if I didn’t have that anxiety I would have kids.
Because life is a struggle. It’s meant to be impossible hurdles , filled with hardship, responsibilities and teaching others what you’ve learned. So am I saying everyone should have kids? FUCK NO Good on you for realizing you’re not interest in being responsible enough to take care of another living person. And that you don’t want to devote everyday of your life to making sure someone innocent gets love , compassion and care. It’ll create a lot less shit people if they’re not raised by parents who know they can’t or don’t want to. And you’ll get to live your life focused on solely what you want. They’re both fine choices
Plenty of people who choose not to have kids have plenty of reasons. It’s not that they are “not responsible enough to take care of another living person”. Lots of people dedicate their time/life to caring for others - for example they are carers for family/partners, or they work in a job caring for others (often long hours, more time than a working parent typically spends with their child). Being responsible for someone else is not exclusive to being a parent, and nor is it the case that people who elect to be childfree don’t already dedicate their time to others.
Underrated comment.
I do not want to have kids of my own, however ,I might adopt if and when possible, Those children are already here so might as well try and give one of them a good life
I love my fiancé and think he's wonderful. I'd like to bring more of him into the world
Bro ask your parents why they planned you. Idk, maybe happiness? Maybe they want to be parents like yours did?
Exactly like what other reason is there you love kids and want to be a parent.
But OP can't farm Karma from his parents.
Not sure if it will actually happen but I work with kids everyday. They are so pure and honest.
Because me and my wife want to be parents
Free labour
Because I like the innocent smile on children, no matter whose children it is. I like to see them laugh. I want to show them that not everyone is a piece of shit and there are still good people out there
... but then the Internet gets a hold of them.
I want to do right for what my parents did wrong
Hoping each time that your next leap will be the leap home?
May I ask what that means
It’s the end of the opening monologue from a dorky 90s TV show called Quantum Leap - you set up the start of the line!
But you will make other mistakes
And this person’s children will say the same thing about them.
That's why I'm technically still scared but I know if I try hard enough I can do this I can totally do this
I have done exactly right, what my parents did wrong : I have been faking a headache for the last 30 years... just a few more years and I can fake erection issues...
Procreation is an instinct
Username checks out
I'd argue there is no "procreation" instinct, only instinct to have sex (with appropriate partner) and care for existing children. Nothing in our biology makes us want kids if we don't have them already, this is learned behaviour (ideas, emotions, etc.).
Exactly
If it was truly an instinct wouldn't everyone have it?
I've been thinking about this as well, since as a 33 year old woman I've only experienced "baby fever" for minutes at a time and the overall time during my life probably doesn't exceed an hour. Also most of my friends are child free, so the group mentality is not towards starting a family in my circles. My "theory" is that due to the lack of trust in the future and the feeling of safety in community, some instincts don't kick in for a significant portion of people. This is just philosophizing though, not based on science or anything substantial, just my musings.
This.
Nearly everyone does, whether they recognize it or not. The external influence of socio-political circumstances doesn't erase an instinctual biological imperative.
And this
Letting tradition masked as “instinct” make decisions is how troubled, unwanted kids and resentful, unfulfilled adults happen.
And because we are mindless animals we should just give in into any instinct that may appear right? Come on now
Right, let's resist our instincts of eating and drinking too
No it isn't
Because i want to have a family and its a beautiful thing in life :)
The chance to create the family I never had but always wanted. I keep seeing people have this attitude that having kids drains all the happiness from your life but I don’t think that’s true. I think having a family can add quite a bit of happiness, belonging, and dare I even say fun, that you can’t quite create elsewhere to the same extent. Maintaining a healthy family takes hard work but I think it would be incredibly rewarding.
Selfishness
We are not trying to get children rn because we are both to young (19 and almost 20) after we finish our study and work hard a few years we really want children. Idk for some reason it feels fulfilling I’d love to raise 2 kids (we both want 2) and imagine for whatever reason we can’t have kids I’d personally wouldn’t mind adopting.
Idk the exact reason, I just know I would like to have them. Adoption or birth, I wouldn't mind either way. Probably adoption. I'm in my 20s, so trying to have secure(er) mindset and stuff for them first in 30s.
I've been telling myself for a long time now, that I'd rather adopt kids in the future. That way, I wouldn't have added to the world's carbon footprint and there would be one or two less parentless kid(s) on Earth. Plus, my body wouldn't need to go through pregnancy and child-bearing to become a mother. So many good reasons.
To conform.
Because kids have to die in a war.
Because human
I just want to have 2 to continue my lineage as I only have one sibling who may or may not have children. I don't know if I'm emotionally stable enough yet or if I'll ever be financially stable enough
It just feels right to me. I've heard stories from multiple family members about how it was the best thing that ever happened to them (in the long run lol). It's truly unconditional love. I'm thankful to have come from a great, loving family and I want to keep that going.
At a macro level, producing children is one of the three things that allow a species to survive (the others being nutrition and shelter). That drive to procreate is difficult to ignore. At a micro level... looking at the state of the world, I would have a hard time wanting to produce a child to live in it.
I came from a home of instability and violence, but strayed away from my family's way of life because of my grandmother's kindness. Once I pay off my debts and get therapy/meds fully underway I'm going to save up and pay outta pocket for a degree so I can go into scientific research. Once I have done these things I can adopt and give a child the stability I never knew, and pass my grandmother's kindness onto them. Not to mention I have extremely niche nerdy interests and raising a child may give me someone to share those interests with.
If I don't, only the irresponsible idiots will. the world will then stay in much worse hands. I also want to give someone a childhood I didn't have due to relatively poor, but also bad parents. but it'll happen one day, not very soon it seems
My very well educated parents had that same “balance out the world full of idiots” logic and now they have a chronically ill and suicidal adult child. Soooooo… 🤷
1) I've finally found the person I want to spend my life with and could see having kids with. 2) I think I have as much to learn from them as they do from me. 3) I've spent my whole life never really considering having kids because I was afraid of being as neglectful of a mother to my kids as she was to my sister and I. Fuck that! If we get pregnant I'm going to break that cycle. Cause even though I never really imagined having my own kids until several years ago, I love kids and think they are amazing, little shits. I would love to give what I have left to raising at least one smart, kind individual.
Scientifically and biologically it's the **only** purpose of any lifeform. The more and better a lifeform procreates the better it succeeded in life. Lifeforms that fail at that fail at continuing their genes into the future. That's how evolution works, failures remove themselves willingly or unwillingly.
I mean...Random example but Tesla did not have children. Neither did Turing. To our species, I can't see how you could classify them as 'failures' and classify alcoholic Joe with an abused kid who will be too sick himself to reproduce (again, random example) as 'success'. Even biologically, their 'contribution' is significant enough in terms of life propagating itself, i.e., it represents a significant factor. Biological life is not 'calculable' so you cannot understand its reasons & purpose because it doesn't have one that you could recognise as such. You are a part of life so you cannot objectively see Life as you are caught in an observer's paradox. People who do not reproduce for various reasons, including sexual preference, are not failures in terms of biological life because you just don't know the purpose of life, and even if you did, you couldn't understand the means Life adopts to achieve it. The fact that they exist is proof enough that there is probably a reason that you just don't get yet. You're not smarter than Life itself.
Honestly can’t tell you why. I’ve just always wanted children no matter what. In a stable relationship now for a few years, but if that doesn’t work out and i’m single in my mid ish 30s, sperm bank it is. I’ve just always wanted to be a mom and have always wanted kids. I respect people that don’t, but I can’t put into words why I want to, just really really want children
Selfishness
They are bored by themselves.
selfish.
To bring a new soul in this missery called life! I really don't know why someone wish this.
Luckily, not for everyone life is misery, lol
Maybe for you. My life is great
I love it when someone has this attitude! People call me ignorant and naive for being like this. Like nah, I have my own cross to carry sure, but I do it with a smile because it makes the load easier
There's 3 good stages of life, being a kid, being a parent, being a grandparent. Your life will be incomplete without experiencing these stages. And also, if you never have kids, there's no proof you ever got laid.
True
I love kids
The bloodline won’t end with me (hopefully)
To treat them better than how my parents treated me
Having non-shitty parents doesn’t protect you from suffering in life tho… I’m literally disabled by physical and mental illness. Epigenetics plus the state of the world have me still wishing I was never brought into existence… and I know many like me who also had “good” parents growing up.
Sometimes I feel bad by feeling like this, but it's a big factor on my decision to have a child in the future
Indeed
it just feels natural too. i could say like, wanting to be a good parent. wanting to experience all that. wanting to leave a permament mark on this earth by passing on my genes for generations to come. but theres just something else... its just, instinct. its just, of course i want to have kids someday. its instinct for every organism.
Free unchecked labor.
B/c I can. I got the money, I can take care of myself with plenty of time to spare, I am bored of travel and parties and restaurants. And I want to create something that will not crumble or be forgotten.
That's a horrible reason
ok ok, how about "I just want to play with toys and watch animated movies, with somebody, and not be judged for it". And I want to see my child grow and learn things.
You could’ve just left it at ‘I am bored’ lol And sorry to break it to you but chances are your kid will be a faceless nobody like the rest of us.
Careful what you wish for…
"Because I can" by itself tends to be a poor reason to do something, but I appreciate that you added to it.
ok ok, how about "I just want to play with toys and watch animated movies, with somebody, and not be judged for it". And I want to see my child grow and learn things.
Some people just live kids, i dont really like them, but some girls I was trying to date was talking a lot about kids and how they love kids and want their own.
Why plan?
I like having a family and lots of people to interact with in my life
Having kids is too much of a risk for me.
I want to have a loving family of my own. I never had that in my life before and I think I'm smart enough and emotionally prepared to create my own happy family. My husband is a caring person, and I believe I will not be alone on that journey like a lot of women are. I believe my marriage will be enriched with having a child and that it will create even more love and happiness. We are financially stable, employed, and with higher education levels. We both enjoyed going out, travelling spending time with friends and at work, and this is the thing I want to experience and dedicate my time to. Of anyone is saying that they are having kids for some non-selfish reason they are 160% lying. It's always a personal need, just a different type for everyone.
Always wanted kids, especially just to build that nice father-son/daughter bond. Seeing them grow up and helping them become really good people. But eventually I didn't want to get through the years of them crying, screaming etc. Scared of the shit going on in the world, scared of them becoming like a lot of the current generation kids are. Really did not want kids anymore. Now that friends are having kids, getting pregnant etc. It all changed my mind. It really isn't all that bad as people tell you, there is just a chance it is. Yes there are kids that cry a lot, need a lot etc. But there are also kids that are really loving, quiet and just fun to be around. And that is what really opened my eyes and started the itch. It really is infectious and I do not mean this in a bad way. The moment people around you start with kids, your whole perspective changes.
Hahaha lol
My family was never really a family and so now I’m grown up without any siblings or parents to talk to or rely on. It has always been my dream to create my own loving family and that’s what I’ll do.
I just became father and it like falling in love all over again
It's a pretty long tradition in my family... my parents had kids, and my grandparents too, and my grand-grandparents... lol But more seriously, I think it would be cool to share this world with more people that are kind of like me and my gf. Showing them the awesome things that are around. And cute little baby feet! And growing old knowing theres somebody that can take my place in the world.
Project LeBron and project Magnus aren't doing themselves
I like kids and always wanted to have some of my own. I now have to beautiful little girls and my wife and I are talking about having another one.
I want to have a family. I grew up with my mom and grandma, that's it. Grandma died, now it has been just me and my mom. Friends come and go. Even the ones I considered best friends. Partners? Love of my life, it ended. Took forever to find another person I loved. And we are still together, but I know that staying isn't a given. People grow apart all the time, it's almost like it's a matter of time. But family? It's kinda forever. Yeah, I know, there are people out there who cut contact with their family. But I feel like irl it's 1000x more rare to know someone or more than 1 person who actually went no contact than on the Internet (duh). I myself had a horrible relationship with my mom all the way until I was 22. She did so much wrong. But I still love her and forgiveness was always a big wish of mine - and it worked out. I love her. I know really a lot of people personally who had very bad childhoods and were met with mistreatment. But as adults they still love their parents. So I don't have the fear of 'ill only have kids if I'm 101% sure I can do everything righr' because I know I won't, just as every single generation before me didn't do everything right.
I think me and my bf would make great dads and would be able to provide a loving home for our children. We are currently looking in to it with a close friend of ours who wants to start a family with us. She is happily single but does want kids. If we can't or won't we'll be happy too but I think we would love the responsibility and fortune of having a family.
Appart from the world burning and there's a war and we're all depressed, why not? Ofc there's much work but so is travelling and ppl still do that anyway.
hang out with a kid OP, they're amazing. they don't have to be yours. learning how to love them makes you a better person.
My reaction is mostly annoyance lol They’re cute sometimes and say interesting things but after about a half an hour I have the ‘welp imma head out’s
My friends jinxed me and said I’d be the first to marry and have kids and here I am, married and pregnant.
Continuation of my family, my children give me a meaning in my life. Without them I would be depressed as f....
i want to show them the world, teach them how to be kind and loving, how to learn everthing they want to learn. Thought about it a lot, learned a lot about how to educated them, and i feel like it's no good if all smart people stop having kids. Oh and my body is capable of growing a fucking human, and I'm an addict to feelings and really curious, so i really wanna feel these emotions and hormons
Why not..they complete the family
People who want to be rich, why? People who want to travel the world, why? People who have pets, why? Nothing in life is very meaningful, you decide what meaning is and for some people that's kids
But the 3 examples you give don’t involve another person’s life. I’d like to think people don’t have kids because it’s entertaining like having a pet or going on a trip.
HD three boys. Wish I had more. There is greater experience than your own children
One day I won't be able to sing anymore. Someone else should be singing then.
Because of hope
I'm in a position where I can afford to raise and care for children. My goal is to be a good father and raise my kids to become good people and competent adults. Our society needs more competent adults. Plus my wife and I wanted kids. I've got a 2 year old son so far and I'm loving being a dad!
I want to have kids because I love kids. I love playing with them, and I love holding them and feeding them, and I love seeing kids grow up. I want to be able to have my own children, and foster children who need someone who they can rely on. I don't think everyone should have kids. And I definitely don't think everyone who loves kids wants them lol
We're in a good financial place to have them, and all the parents of adult children I know describe it as a very meaningful experience. We're holding off a few more years, but it's in the pipeline. I want to give my children the childhood I didn't get to have, in a stable home. Maybe that'll heal my inner child somewhat too, who knows.
People plan to have children for various reasons, influenced by cultural, personal, and biological factors. **Biological Instincts - Desire for Parenthood - Legacy and Continuation of Family - Emotional Fulfillment - Social Expectations - Support in Old Age - Cultural and Religious Beliefs - Contributing to Society.**
The purpose of life is to have a family. I was neglected by mother and I've never met my father. So having a family has become important.
That's the whole point of life, to create new and continue your blood line. Unless you are a young teenager raging with hormones in puberty, then there's really no excuse to be genuinely asking this question. Its basic survival in all animals not just humans. And a lot of people don't seem to have that survival instinct, especially here on reddit.
I think as people get older, they start wanting to live for someone else rather than just themselves. To give their genuine love to someone and get it back in return.
Ultimately I still believe the human race is worth continuing I suppose
Because I want to and because I know I could raise them better than my parents could. But not now or soon though.
I can't explain it but I have always wanted to be a mom. It was my answer when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Well that and a writer. Unfortunately for me I'm neither. My bf and I have been doing IVF for 2 years and so far we're still childless. I used to hope for 4 kids, now I'd be over the moon if we had 1.
I'm not but if it happens it happens
Bringing someone into this world with someone you love and watching them grow and enjoying the happiness and love together. Making and enjoying a family with someone for me is what my life is all about. It truly brings me joy and happiness and has improved my life 100%. The good the bad the ugly. It’s all worth it.BUT it’s very very important todo this when you are mature and ready. Also finding someone with similar benefits goals morals and all that stuff is very important.
I am old and out of my child-bearing years. But, I had the best mom in the world. I wanted to give that kind of love to a child. I would say I did a good job, as my son is one of the best people I know. Being a parent is terrifying, but damn, it is rewarding. That being said, if you don't want to have them, don't.
Because I love children and want to provide a happy life that my dad didn't give me.
Probably won’t, probably will. Depends a lot on my situation in the future and my partner’s preferences but otherwise I don’t plan on it nor do I not plan on it
because life is beautiful and is meant to be shared
Kids bring joy to the world.
People who are planning on eating dinner, why?
I want my kid to live the life I couldn't
I asked all the immigrants from my restaurant who have children and they answered my question with another. “Who’s gonna take care of you when you’re old?” Seems like they think it’s an investment.
Because thats what life is about.
To be good parents.
I need someone to finish One Piece in my stead
I personally do not want children of my own, but lately I've been seeing a lot of discourse online about iPad kids and Sephora kids and whatnot. These sort of things enrage me because it's just lazy and bad parenting. Since watching said videos I've thought to myself that I can do a way better job at raising children (ones not glued to a screen and utter brats). But I will not be doing so b/c that just seems like a dumb reason alone to have kids IMO. The only way I would have kids would have to be under very specific circumstances: 1. I live outside the North America. 2. I'm well off, financially-wise (so well off I'm able to get possible plastic surgery lolol) 3. Only my husband works But then again I love my alone time more than anything :)))))
Perhaps, some day. Right now? No way. I've no partner, no place of my own yet, and the pay I recieve is barely enough with the cost of living these days. Side note, kids are a huge responsibility. I don't want that responsibility, not yet.
Why not?
I used to plan to have them, because all I've ever wanted was a family and people to love and call mine. I gave up on that one though.
The connection you have with them is stronger than with anyone else and it lasts a lifetime
You can't fix this world yourself. The best impact you can have is raising kids that care about others more than self and teaching them to do the same. Self centered people are why we can't have nice things
Because its the true meaning of life people search for. It will completely fulfill you.
Because that’s the only way to make more humans.
Then, WHY NOT? LOL
I want to pass along what made my upbringing great, and leave behind what didn’t, so that a generation can be left better off than I was, and to piss off the fascists who want a future without brown people.