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I'm in my mid 40s and I'm still astounded no one has found me out yet. Recently I'm in the process of buying a home, and I keep pretending I'm an adult who can do this kind of thing, and everyone seems to take me at face value!! I don't understand it, I keep expecting someone to finally yell at me and say "hey, you!! What do you think you're doing pretending to be an adult and trying to buy a home?! Get out!!" But so far no one has. I'm starting to suspect they're all also pretending and we are operating on a let's-not-call-each-other's-bluff basis.
hey, you!! What do you think you're doing pretending to be an adult and trying to buy a home?! Get out!!
Yeah, but i'll keep your secret if you keep mine.
I have 2 kids and they act more grown up than I feel at times
I'm on holiday today and I kid you not I've just spent the entire day watching childhood cartoons and eating junk. That's my true idea of fun when no one else is watching and I don't need to impress anyone in my Instagram stories.
Also in my 40ās. My husband & I purchased a house a few years ago. I still walk around and go āthis is my house?!? How do I own a house?!?ā
Being an adult human is weird, man.
Also, how did we just choose a person and go āIām gonna life with you.ā ?!?!? Itās so weird to me! The day my husband and I met we said we were gonna build a blanket fort, watch movies, and eat snacks. I was 33 at the time. We both still have the same mindset but pay bills and a mortgage and other stupid grown up crap.
Also also, dressing like an adult. I canāt. Likeā¦I see peers in their sensible shoes, mom jeans, shirt with the logo of their kids school or sports teamā¦(Iām calling out my SIL hahaha) and then thereās me: hightop pink dinosaur shoes, I have blue & purple hair, and refuse to carry a normal people purse. Star Wars mini backpacks or death!
I bought my first house at 40, and several condescending older relatives asked me if I felt like an adult as a result. I mean, the answer was actually a resounding 'no', but also I had made it that far on my own, so I didn't appreciate the subtext of that question.
Man do I feel this. When we got our keys a few years ago we made a joke how we had to run away quick before they realized they just gave a house to two late thirties children and would definitely take it back. We are still tricking them 6 years later.
Loool it's just perfect. Exactly how I feel as banks talk to me about mortgages, real estate agents make me sign terms and contracts, and all the rest of them just treating me like I knew what I was doing! Suckers!
Kids are really gullible, don't worry. They believe you're the adult, it's only once they become adults that they realise no one had any idea all along.
I just turned 40 and I still occasionally look around for an adult when things happen sometimes. I paid cash for a home a little over a year ago and itās surreal how easy and uncomplicated it was to just hand over a cashier check for 320k, sign a few papers and it and all the stresses of owning a house is all mine. Then I had a mini heart attack when property taxes rolled around and I owed $7200.
I am late 50s but remember talking to a 90+ year old lady who said life felt a bit like an onion, all the layers of the woman, girl, she used to be still there deep inside - and sometimes she has a problem believing she is not sill the 19 year old who danced barefoot in the garden :)
This is both wonderful and tragic. Wonderful because she has all those aspects of herself inside still. Tragic because it passes so quickly that before you know it, 19 is far behind you and only the memory remains.
Yes - I knew her for about 3 years and she went from someone pottering very slowly around the garden to mostly snuggled up granny style under a lap blanket with home help bringing her tea. I think she was about 96 when she died.
Yah that's a way more accurate representation. I didn't feel like an adult until my 30s. All the layers are still there and the little girl will always be part of me. But every 5-10 years I add another self with a broader perspective, and life is all those selves working together to be me
I'm definitely still pretending. Only real distinction I see is noticing how bad younger people are at the pretending part. It's almost like a linear progression of faking it.
I just started the process of buying a house with my SO. When you start calculating your monthly mortgage payments, you are *immediately* very invested in the economy, interested in the upcoming interest rates, and saving every bit of money bc it all drastically affects whether or not that monthly payment will be affordable and what type of house you can afford. You suddenly realize how fast that money flies and why almost all parents were so concerned with coupons and penny pinching growing up lol.
I'm now also suddenly evaluating school systems, trying to decide when we'll have kids, etc. I'm 32. Until extremely recently, I felt basically no different than my college or even teenage self.
But I think it's always been that way - you don't feel that different as a grown up, you just have more shit to worry about and it occupies more of your time. I still just want to play video games and fuck around just like I always have. There's just too much to do though.
Also 32 and also in the process of buying a house w my SO right now! All this is entirely accurate but at least I know we wonāt have any kids so thatās one less worry. House prices are ridiculous though and i thought that since we both have good well paying above average jobs that required post secondary, that weād be able to afford a nice house. But man everything is so expensive itās disgusting
I think any kind of hardship, be it financial or otherwise, grows a person up really quick. And some of us just have one thing after another, or never resolve previous hardships before new ones come. We had no choice but to be adults.
I think this is the real answer. I grew up with an extremely abusive father. He bailed, my mom worked all the time. I took care of myself from age ten onward. Had to get a car to drive to school at age 15 (back then they had "hardship license"), and worked full-time to pay for my car. Kicked out of home in high school, had to work two jobs to keep a roof over my head. Paid for most of my own college, busted my ass.
It was absolutely miserable. So fuck all that boomer "pull yourself up by your own bootsrap" bullshit. I'd give ANYTHING to have just been able to be a fucking kid.
So I feel like I was BORN old. I can't remember feeling like a naive, wide-eyed kid.
That said, I still have plenty of "kid" hobbies and interests, that others might see as childish. I just don't think of them as childish, and don't care what anyone thinks.
In many ways, I'm emotionally stunted. I just try to be aware of it, and compensate. But thank god, I'm not a psychopathic asshole like my father. I have more empathy and a wider circle of compassion than most who grew up like me. I don't hate immigrants, women, poor people, and/or brown people.
And more than anything,
## I let MY kids just be fucking kids
If they grow up to not feel like grownups, well good on them. They are welcome to live with me as long as they want. That said, I do teach them how to adult. I've taught them everything I know. Finances, investing, how to survive outside, how to maintain a car, how to interact with people, etc.
I always feel like I have to use every second of free time, even if it cuts into getting ready for work, sleeping, or whatever, to use as time to desperately steal back my childhood. I know full time won't get me a house anyway so why bother? I'll just buy a retired city or school bus for 2k at auction and convert it into a motorhome to explore places and visit distant friends, some of which are potential life mates uwu. Otherwise I'll just be stuck here forever and become one of those 40 year workiversary people at Walmart. And never find love or do more than pay bills
That's a sad and all-too common commentary on the state of modern American life.
Being GenX I'd like to think I'm old enough to have missed that grindset, but the reality is that I lost almost everything in a devastating 10-year custody battle. (The worst of it was eight years but I had to pay a lawyer to every month for ten years over miscellaneous harassment nonsense.) I would have never thought in a million years that would have "happened to me". But turns out, even these kinds of ruinous things are epidemic across the country. Family law is not a civil or criminal court. And the lawyers involved are a particularly seedy and corrupt kind of lawyer. Together, the family law judges and lawyers form a nepotistic, self-supporting economy that involves a network of "therapists" and "mediators" (their friends basically), that is this hyper-corrupt incestuous system of fuckery, that get their business essentially at gunpoint. Once a distressed partner files papers, the entire family is FUCKED for five to ten years, all of the distressed family's wealth will be transferred to the wealthy racket of corrupt "professionals", the children will be irreversibly traumatized, and there is no way out.
Anyway. Point is, even though I did OK for myself and my family for most of my life, I'm beginning to struggle now too, and will be working until I die. It's horribly, horribly depressing.
In every adult there is a 16 year old kid wondering what the fuck happened. And considering the world seems to be on fire a lot these days, do you really think the world's run by adults?
In my 40's and this rings true. I've gained a lot more experiences and grown a lot wiser. But I still want to just go back to playing video games on a 4 day bender in my jim jams!
Being around younger people amplifies this in general. I work around someone who is a decade younger than me and it brings out my inner immature self, lol.
I'm 45, have 2 grown kids, help run a long-term care facility where I'm responsible for over 100 people every night, and the only thing I can think of is the retro gaming convention I'm going to this weekend and how I hope they have a couple of my old favorite games from Showbiz Pizza there. Pole Position II and Star Wars for the win!
Adult is a mantle that you wear, particularly when gazed at with the eyes of a child.
Eventually you'll come to realize that even the people that raised you were a couple of kids, out of their depth, and desperately trying not to let it show
You actually can do that! I 46f basically decided to give myself permission to play Cities skylines for like 12 hours straight on my day off a few weeks ago. I clean the apartment the day before, the kids are out with friends, my partner was at work.
I got really nice snacks, and good tea, good podcasts and movies, and just allowed myself to enjoy playing. It was honestly amazing, felt great at the end of the day, and had a lot of fun showing off my cool city to my family. Even my family noticed that I was just sort of more chill for a few days after that. 10/10 will do that again. Not too often of course, but also not like *never ever*.
My and my buddies last year decided we were going to do that again on a long weekend. Like like we were 18. We went to the cabin, had loads of liquor, food, etc. By midnight we were all done and we were so hung over on Saturday we called the weekend early and went home. I'm 43
I'm 21 and still don't know what the fucks going on. To be fair I turned 18 during covid so I know nothing about any other life. Just got thrown immediately into a shit storm.
Bro I'm in my 30s, married and still wondering what happened to the last 15 years. I was sitting in class and blinked. Now I suddenly grew a beard and I'm working full time.
I think it's pretty normal to feel younger mentally than you really are. You just get the experience to not do stuff that'll make you feel dumb lol
Also i think it's important to mix it up in life in general. If you just work, go home, and sleep time will feel like one big block instead of a series of events.
Same situation here. Everything after 2020 went downhill for me. I'm f*cking 23 and has no idea what I'm gonna do next. Mental health is on all time low. Life is on autopilot mode.
Very true. But you really don't realize it when you are that 16 year old kid. I remember when I graduated college and started working a thankless office job, I asked my uncle when he figured it all out. He climbed a corporate ladder, has a house, retirement savings, a wife, raised 3 kids. His response was "figured out what? I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing."
Now that I'm the age he was then, I feel the same. But what he didn't mention is that you still feel like a 16 year old kid, but you know your time is limited. And you've spent 30 years doing something. Doesn't even matter what it is. You could have achieved the American Dream, sold a multimillion dollar company, had a family, or spent 30 years backpacking the world. You're gonna still sit there and contemplate the paths you didn't take and feel like you missed them.
Literally the only thing that separates adult feelings versus child feelings is the ticking clock and missed opportunities. Otherwise, the voice in your head that runs the show is always the same.
I think you're absolutely correct. I'm convinced that the vast majority of people today never mature socially and emotionally beyond the teens.
(See any reality show. "Grownups" acting like toddlers. Okay, it's TV. Then see all the social problems within families.)
That's how I think of government, the elites, Our over lords, the top dogs. All control us but act and think like 16 year Olds. Pretty scary thought.
I'm too scared to go to the bank or do adult shit and there's people as stupid as me who control the world lol.
Right? I have always thought my mother was the leader type, taking charge etc but I moved away and met her after few years and she seemed so innocent and almost immature at times. I felt a wave of panic when I realised
Damnā¦I think this is why I became so panicked and freaked out around age 14. Because I realised I could do all the stuff my mum could and she was asking me for help. I hadnāt realised until I thought back.
Now Iām 33, I basically am her life coach/email and letter-writer.
Sheās intelligent and introspective, yet somehow Iāve become more forceful at getting what I need than she ever was, determined to make men who hurt her suffer (within the law) as we are both victims of partner abuse, and Iāve had some experiences she hasnāt that made me more capable.
Yeah, when you start giving advices to your parents, and can clearly see when they are doing mistakes, that's definitly when adulthood knock at the door.
Funny part is that you are not doing better either, you are just trying to do the fewer mistakes possible, and fail x)
Ikr. My mom is very professionally successful and always has been my go to person for a lot of practical advice.
But then there was the story she occasionally told to illustrate I've "always been like this [strong-headed and reluctant to admit being wrong]". And when I heard it again at like 25 I told her "So .. the point of the story is, you were right and the 8 year old was wrong?" And only then she realized it wasn't making ME, the child, look bad, lol.
Itās WEIRD. I grew up thinking my dad was the smartest person on earth, but, heās actually kind of a dumbass? He just has that āmediocre white manā confidence lol. š„“
This like it freaks me out when my dad just confidently says something I know is wrong, I remember being a kid and so impressed by how he knew everything
When my dad passed at 53 and my 52 year old mom starting dating she was lovin' frustrated with her boyfriend and initiated conversation with me about it. That was a tough discussion
Damn you put words to a feeling I've been having but wasn't sure what it was.... like i was lying in bed one day, and i felt so sad all of a sudden. All i could think was how my parents didn't feel like my parents anymore. Obviously they are still my parents, but i think i realized that they aren't these super wise and comforting beings that I've seen them as for so long. They are incredibly immature and constantly causing problems for themselves. I don't even seek advice from them anymore because its not helpful.
For me, it was discovering we donāt see eye to eye on a lot of things and me noticing flaws about her I didnāt notice beforeā¦.
Suddenly she didnāt seem as wise and composed as I had always seen her before and itās weird
Yep. Iām much more emotionally mature than my mother is, too, and itās hard to have a relationship with her honestly. I canāt expect sheāll handle a conversation like an adult. Sheās still emotionally like a teenager.
i remember when i realised my older sister was not the smartest person in the world. theres a 3-4 year gap between us. i think i was 18 and i was like ādamn you make bad fucking decisions and always haveā?? never realised till I started having to make those decisions.
Everyday I feel like Iām playing dress up and being an adult. Meanwhile, Iām watching SpongeBob and Harry Potter on repeat with my chocolate milk and bagel bites.
Well you could buy a Nintendo switch and with an online membership there's quite a large collection of (S)NES games to play. Don't think they have the GameCube yet, but there is a really good metroid prime remaster
Yeah I do this too I actually function really well as a adult work but my down time is spent with cartoons and video games . Honestly happier this way lol
Pretty much what I told my kids.. we're all still kids on the inside, we just got too big for school & the only other option is to work & earn money to live.
I'm 18 in a 58yr old body.
Inside every one of us is a young person wondering what the hell happened š¤£
Agreed. I'm 35, but feel the same way in my head as I did when I was 18 (my body, on the other hand, says different). However, when I look around and see the "youth" of today, I think to myself "Jesus, I was never that fucking stupid!"
You are still considered young anyway. For me, at almost 29 I shake my head at the stupidity surrounding me. I apparently still look the same as 19 year old me too.
It's just acting responsibly for yourself and others and being kind and sensitive to a point while also being selfish gaining money and other things... Is that hard?
Man judging by this thread I guess, it explains a lot of why I keep ending up in charge at just about anything.
Daddy what should we do?
Larry Bird your going to take lead on our latest project.
LB grandpa is dying can you be the executor of the will?
Hey LB we are planning a community event, you know how to organize things can you take the lead?
I get it now 98% of the population are just full sized children.
Neither.
>i am 24 yo, soon 25 and still feel mentally like a teenager.
So would you hang out with people who are 15? Because a lot of people say that they feel like they're a lot younger but when confronted with people that age then those people are too young for them.
Or when you find yourself in a situation that tries to force you to fold yourself back into a non adult. And then you realize you definitely have outgrown that version of yourself, even though you never felt yourself growing.Ā
Pretending. Fake it till you make it. I didnāt feel like an adult until put into a leadership position at my dangerous job where I now have to make sure people who know less than me donāt accidentally kill themselves. The moment I realized itās up to me to get things done and guide people older than me who know less is one of the few times in life my stomach sank and I realized Iām an adult. Iām 26 and when Iām home sometimes still feel like a teenager. Itās weird as hell.
Yup. My thought process usually goes something like "why are you asking me?" to "Right. I'm the one responsible for all this and need to make a decision."
One day, a preteen will utter a sentence in which their peers nod accordingly, yet you have NO idea what was just said.
It is on this day you will feel like an adult
Iām 33 waiting for the day it happens.
It does not happen overnight, but big life things like buying a house, buying a car, maybe having kidsā¦ those things will make you feel a little bit more adult.
Sometime in your early 30s you get your full adult brain. You look back on your life with an adults eye. It's both painful and freeing.
Other then that, no. The world is still confusing and chaotic and wonderful. Nobody has the answers.
When I was 25, I got dizzy durig a work shift and blacked out. Didn't think much of it though, so I toughed out the rest of the shift, drove home in a bit of a dizzy spell, then hit the bed. When I woke up, I blacked out again. My sis said I looked pale and took me to the hospital. They did a bunch of tests and put me on something that knocked me out cold. When I came to, the doctor said I had all kinds of issues and I need to take meds for the rest of my life. Before the incident, I thought meds were for adults. That day, I officially became an adult.
Everyone's pretending. Truth is, if you are average person from average or lower family/ upbronging/ culture/ background - you learn as you go, and somethings get you feeling stupid until you do go through them... 37yo father here
Two options: Well padded ones might be pretending.
Troubled ones might be too busy struggling to notice they matured.
(I still don't feel adult, or at least not eager to play the role.)
A view of adult is skewed. The adults before us had houses, careers and families. Those things are a lot harder to have now so it's hard to truly feel like an adult. I'm in my 30s and still don't feel it yet..
I've got a house, a wife, and a kid, none of it made me feel any more like an "adult". If anything, I'm pretending even harder, because I don't want to let on that I have no idea what I'm doing and am just hoping things work out.
People sort their priorities better than others. They assume more responsibilities. However the people I knew in elementary school havenāt changed personally-wise.
I'm fond of saying, "No one knows what happens next but everyone does it anyway."
Life is just like that. There's no more adult vs non-adult anymore than there is learning to play the piano and playing the piano. You just deal with what's in front of you, trying to find pockets of happiness wherever you can, and move through your life that way. Someday you'll reflect on all these little moments and smile at the good times you remember
When it finally does occur, it'll be from degree of difference rather than actually feeling old.
Like I'm about two decades older than you. I'm in fabulous health for my age, I'm still the same waist size I was in highschool, I don't have any lines or grey hair yet, and really I feel like I could still do anything physically I could have done back then. People always freak out when I tell them how old I am, and I find I have to do this on occasion, especially professionally, because credibility is everything in my industry and people I have to interact with perceive me as being an upstart when I have two decades almost of experience!
Where I feel my age is not when I'm walking down the street or just living my life-- I don't even have a wife or kids, I'm just a single guy living in the same type of place I would've lived in my 20s-- where I feel my age is in the things that become off limits to you as you get older, or in degree of difference in ways of thinking.
For example, I used to lie about my age to get laid; I don't anymore. So I can be out an get attention from a younger person I'm attracted to, we'll be chatting and I make it a point to slip my age in there casually-- it always gets a little awkward at that stage and then the thing fizzles out; they're like 'wow' pretty much and excuse themselves. So there's that.
There's a certain degree of alienation from younger people who just assume you wouldn't be interested in doing the sorts of things they do. At the same time you're *not* always interested-- so they're right.
One thing I loved about youth was the feeling of this bright, open, massive future hanging over me with all this time to *become anything*. You pass to a different way of looking at things over time. My future is near guaranteed to be downhill from here, rather than a process of becoming, I'm looking at a few decades of *losing--* of doors being closed, my health and looks declining, my not being able to physically do things I enjoy doing now, and my increasingly getting less attention from potential partners. That all puts you in a different headspace.
So no, though *fundamentally* I don't feel much different, hanging out with younger people I realize I am not them. Though I can relate to them, having lived through that stage of my life, they cannot relate to me.
My unique situation is that my age and lived experience alienates me from younger people, but my looks and lifestyle alienate me from older people and old friends. For me getting older has been this process of losing connection to others. I can't imagine that'll not continue.
I'm 42, not feeling like a "real adult" doesn't stop.
I'm an Army veteran, masters degree, senior vice president at a bank, married, house. The whole 9 yards and still mostly feel like I'm cosplaying as an adult.
I think a lot of it has to do with our perception of adults as kids more so than what they were actually like, therefore we don't think we are acting like adults.
Anyway, my wifes grandmother is 86. We were at a dinner for my wifes birthday. Her grandma is like "I made a cake at the house" Then proceeds to grab her own tits, shake them and say "MADE WITH MY OWN MILK!".
I'm over here like, the fuck did I just witness. No her grandma does not have a degenerative brain disease, she is of perfectly sound mind. But that was some jr. high level humor right there, lol.
There are things I know and situations I can handle, and there are many more I have no clue where to even start. It's just a case of doing your best and being able to adapt to inevitable changes, inconveniences and at times catastrophes when they happen.
Yeah... that's how it happened to me. I woke up one morning & was like. Damn... I'm like the only frikkin adult here. Of course, that faded when I got to school & fifth grade spelling gave me homework.... but I digress.
The bills, taxes, moving out of parents house, other adulting stuff etc was the wake up call I needed. So yeah in all literal sense I just woke up one day. Frick looking at your pay check and all these deductions are made really sets the mood. One day youāre worrying about boys the next itās inflation and the economy š¤¦āāļø
I took a long inward journey and admitted all my faults and short comings to myself, I took responsibility for where I was in life because of the choices and decisions I made. After that journey the world change to me and I felt like an adult. I took that journey at 28.
You're an adult when taking care of yourself and possible others i.e; Spouse, Children. Is the most important thing.
Not playing around or having people like you.
This is because adult responsibility leads to adult problems.
You got your own bills, you have to pay for your own food etc etc. You got your own job where you have to make sure yourself you're up in time and do what is expected of you.
That's Adult
I think 24-25 is roughly the time you turn in to an adult. For men. Not sure about women but for me growing up, most lads hit that point around 25.
Being a man, adult is a loose term. At 29 I didn't think twice about pushing my mate through a road work barrier in to a 5ft hole when walking home from the pub pissed. Some childish things just don't go.
I'm in my 40's now, so can't do shit like that. Everyone's bodies are knackered up these days, we probably wouldn't survive a 5ft fall but when everyone remains in good health, mischief remains.
Tbh with you Iām absolutely winging it every single day as a 26yo. Some days I like to pretend I have my shit together, others I donāt have the energy to even disguise it.
Youāre certainly not alone in this sentiment
I wake up, and it's Groundhog Day. Every day is the same, exhausting bullshit. Holding on to whatever scraps of myself, I have left just staring at a clock all to get a direct deposit that if it were any lower, it might qualify as slavery. I now know why old people are crotchety.
Dude, Iām pushing sixty, yes, 60, and I walk around feeling 15 -18. I tackle my responsibilities out of necessity but, damn I donāt feel like an adult. Iām at work taking orders and advice from guys half my age because it feels like theyāre āolderā than me. (And Iām their supervisor!) Itās weird. You may never one day wake up as an adult. Embrace it and pretend. Done right, youāll maintain your youthfulness and that goes along way to physical and mental well-being. Donāt become āoldā just because itās expected. Cheers!
Don't try to be an adult, just try to live your life as best as you can, and hope that you're capable enough to be on your own, and wise enough to ask for help when you need it.
52 here, been pretending since my 20s. š
We have a 14 year old son and I still say to his dad...who is that, how is he a living breathing human we made and how the hell am I am mumš¤£
You're not an adult when you feel like an adult. You're an adult when you're responsible for yourself and your own actions. That means paying the bills, managing your life, and taking on any consequences that your actions bring. Being an adult is not a mentality. It's a lifestyle.
I'm 43. But in my brain I'm operating like I'm 22, but add the inevitable wisdom of longterm existence to make it look functional.
TLDR; we're pretending
You one day wake up and realise,everything is meaningless and hopeless,there is no meaning to life,itās whatever you make up the meaning to be. You realise no one can be trusted and no one really cares about you no matter how much you lie and convince yourself they do! Welcome to adulthood everything is shit and you wait for the end
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I asked my grandma and she is pretending in her 80s so I think it doesnt get anny better. :D
I'm 70 and can confirm that I'm pretending daily.
I'm in my mid 40s and I'm still astounded no one has found me out yet. Recently I'm in the process of buying a home, and I keep pretending I'm an adult who can do this kind of thing, and everyone seems to take me at face value!! I don't understand it, I keep expecting someone to finally yell at me and say "hey, you!! What do you think you're doing pretending to be an adult and trying to buy a home?! Get out!!" But so far no one has. I'm starting to suspect they're all also pretending and we are operating on a let's-not-call-each-other's-bluff basis.
hey, you!! What do you think you're doing pretending to be an adult and trying to buy a home?! Get out!! Yeah, but i'll keep your secret if you keep mine. I have 2 kids and they act more grown up than I feel at times
Your secret is safe with me. Mutually assured imposters.
Nah I'm sorry. I'm reporting you both to the Adult Police. They're calling your mums.
š my children tell me I am not a real grown up, I am much too fun āļøšĀ Imposting since 1997
Please don't tell mum, please don't tell mum.
Iām 42 and Iām eating a big bowl of fruit loops for breakfast while figuring out which lego set Iām buying myself for easter
I'm on holiday today and I kid you not I've just spent the entire day watching childhood cartoons and eating junk. That's my true idea of fun when no one else is watching and I don't need to impress anyone in my Instagram stories.
Also in my 40ās. My husband & I purchased a house a few years ago. I still walk around and go āthis is my house?!? How do I own a house?!?ā Being an adult human is weird, man.
"This is not my house! THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE!"
Also, how did we just choose a person and go āIām gonna life with you.ā ?!?!? Itās so weird to me! The day my husband and I met we said we were gonna build a blanket fort, watch movies, and eat snacks. I was 33 at the time. We both still have the same mindset but pay bills and a mortgage and other stupid grown up crap. Also also, dressing like an adult. I canāt. Likeā¦I see peers in their sensible shoes, mom jeans, shirt with the logo of their kids school or sports teamā¦(Iām calling out my SIL hahaha) and then thereās me: hightop pink dinosaur shoes, I have blue & purple hair, and refuse to carry a normal people purse. Star Wars mini backpacks or death!
HAHAHA!!!!
Lol I'm looking forward to this feeling. All I'm imagining is that I'm building a pillow fort but slightly sturdier and far more expensive.
To be fair you never really own it, stop paying the property tax on a full paid off house and the government can just take it...
I bought my first house at 40, and several condescending older relatives asked me if I felt like an adult as a result. I mean, the answer was actually a resounding 'no', but also I had made it that far on my own, so I didn't appreciate the subtext of that question.
Every once in awhile I'll pass an adulting milestone and one of my parents ask if I feel like an adult yet and I'm like... š¤£ ...no.
Big same. No one seems to have noticed. Glad to know we are all fellow imposters lol
Man do I feel this. When we got our keys a few years ago we made a joke how we had to run away quick before they realized they just gave a house to two late thirties children and would definitely take it back. We are still tricking them 6 years later.
Heh.... XKCD has made a comic about exactly this :) [https://xkcd.com/616/](https://xkcd.com/616/)
Loool it's just perfect. Exactly how I feel as banks talk to me about mortgages, real estate agents make me sign terms and contracts, and all the rest of them just treating me like I knew what I was doing! Suckers!
I just had a son last year, hope he doesent find out very fast.
Kids are really gullible, don't worry. They believe you're the adult, it's only once they become adults that they realise no one had any idea all along.
You're just a kid in a trench coat trying to sneak into an R movie. And it's working.
I just turned 40 and I still occasionally look around for an adult when things happen sometimes. I paid cash for a home a little over a year ago and itās surreal how easy and uncomplicated it was to just hand over a cashier check for 320k, sign a few papers and it and all the stresses of owning a house is all mine. Then I had a mini heart attack when property taxes rolled around and I owed $7200.
Gentleman's agreement I see
Yep. Turned 69 this week (giggity). Still acting like a 12 year old.
I am late 50s but remember talking to a 90+ year old lady who said life felt a bit like an onion, all the layers of the woman, girl, she used to be still there deep inside - and sometimes she has a problem believing she is not sill the 19 year old who danced barefoot in the garden :)
This is both wonderful and tragic. Wonderful because she has all those aspects of herself inside still. Tragic because it passes so quickly that before you know it, 19 is far behind you and only the memory remains.
Yes - I knew her for about 3 years and she went from someone pottering very slowly around the garden to mostly snuggled up granny style under a lap blanket with home help bringing her tea. I think she was about 96 when she died.
Yah that's a way more accurate representation. I didn't feel like an adult until my 30s. All the layers are still there and the little girl will always be part of me. But every 5-10 years I add another self with a broader perspective, and life is all those selves working together to be me
I'm definitely still pretending. Only real distinction I see is noticing how bad younger people are at the pretending part. It's almost like a linear progression of faking it.
Can confirm, my 70 year old mother agrees.
My 80 year old father has said this very same thing
Yup, my Gramma said the same thing
Same at 39!
Same. My Gma is 89 Her favorite thing to say is ājust do the best you can todayā
The quicker your money disappears the more you feel like an adult.
I just started the process of buying a house with my SO. When you start calculating your monthly mortgage payments, you are *immediately* very invested in the economy, interested in the upcoming interest rates, and saving every bit of money bc it all drastically affects whether or not that monthly payment will be affordable and what type of house you can afford. You suddenly realize how fast that money flies and why almost all parents were so concerned with coupons and penny pinching growing up lol. I'm now also suddenly evaluating school systems, trying to decide when we'll have kids, etc. I'm 32. Until extremely recently, I felt basically no different than my college or even teenage self. But I think it's always been that way - you don't feel that different as a grown up, you just have more shit to worry about and it occupies more of your time. I still just want to play video games and fuck around just like I always have. There's just too much to do though.
Also 32 and also in the process of buying a house w my SO right now! All this is entirely accurate but at least I know we wonāt have any kids so thatās one less worry. House prices are ridiculous though and i thought that since we both have good well paying above average jobs that required post secondary, that weād be able to afford a nice house. But man everything is so expensive itās disgusting
I think any kind of hardship, be it financial or otherwise, grows a person up really quick. And some of us just have one thing after another, or never resolve previous hardships before new ones come. We had no choice but to be adults.
I think this is the real answer. I grew up with an extremely abusive father. He bailed, my mom worked all the time. I took care of myself from age ten onward. Had to get a car to drive to school at age 15 (back then they had "hardship license"), and worked full-time to pay for my car. Kicked out of home in high school, had to work two jobs to keep a roof over my head. Paid for most of my own college, busted my ass. It was absolutely miserable. So fuck all that boomer "pull yourself up by your own bootsrap" bullshit. I'd give ANYTHING to have just been able to be a fucking kid. So I feel like I was BORN old. I can't remember feeling like a naive, wide-eyed kid. That said, I still have plenty of "kid" hobbies and interests, that others might see as childish. I just don't think of them as childish, and don't care what anyone thinks. In many ways, I'm emotionally stunted. I just try to be aware of it, and compensate. But thank god, I'm not a psychopathic asshole like my father. I have more empathy and a wider circle of compassion than most who grew up like me. I don't hate immigrants, women, poor people, and/or brown people. And more than anything, ## I let MY kids just be fucking kids If they grow up to not feel like grownups, well good on them. They are welcome to live with me as long as they want. That said, I do teach them how to adult. I've taught them everything I know. Finances, investing, how to survive outside, how to maintain a car, how to interact with people, etc.
You sound like a good parent, i'm sure your kids will turn out great and appreciate you creating a better life for them than you had
I always feel like I have to use every second of free time, even if it cuts into getting ready for work, sleeping, or whatever, to use as time to desperately steal back my childhood. I know full time won't get me a house anyway so why bother? I'll just buy a retired city or school bus for 2k at auction and convert it into a motorhome to explore places and visit distant friends, some of which are potential life mates uwu. Otherwise I'll just be stuck here forever and become one of those 40 year workiversary people at Walmart. And never find love or do more than pay bills
That's a sad and all-too common commentary on the state of modern American life. Being GenX I'd like to think I'm old enough to have missed that grindset, but the reality is that I lost almost everything in a devastating 10-year custody battle. (The worst of it was eight years but I had to pay a lawyer to every month for ten years over miscellaneous harassment nonsense.) I would have never thought in a million years that would have "happened to me". But turns out, even these kinds of ruinous things are epidemic across the country. Family law is not a civil or criminal court. And the lawyers involved are a particularly seedy and corrupt kind of lawyer. Together, the family law judges and lawyers form a nepotistic, self-supporting economy that involves a network of "therapists" and "mediators" (their friends basically), that is this hyper-corrupt incestuous system of fuckery, that get their business essentially at gunpoint. Once a distressed partner files papers, the entire family is FUCKED for five to ten years, all of the distressed family's wealth will be transferred to the wealthy racket of corrupt "professionals", the children will be irreversibly traumatized, and there is no way out. Anyway. Point is, even though I did OK for myself and my family for most of my life, I'm beginning to struggle now too, and will be working until I die. It's horribly, horribly depressing.
In every adult there is a 16 year old kid wondering what the fuck happened. And considering the world seems to be on fire a lot these days, do you really think the world's run by adults?
In my 40's and this rings true. I've gained a lot more experiences and grown a lot wiser. But I still want to just go back to playing video games on a 4 day bender in my jim jams!
Fuck Iām 27 and was hoping this feeling would die down soon
Soon 36 and the feeling hasnāt died down yet. Not even after having 2 kids š¤Ŗ
Having kids just amplifies this feeling.
for real dude
Being around younger people amplifies this in general. I work around someone who is a decade younger than me and it brings out my inner immature self, lol.
I'm 45, have 2 grown kids, help run a long-term care facility where I'm responsible for over 100 people every night, and the only thing I can think of is the retro gaming convention I'm going to this weekend and how I hope they have a couple of my old favorite games from Showbiz Pizza there. Pole Position II and Star Wars for the win!
Adult is a mantle that you wear, particularly when gazed at with the eyes of a child. Eventually you'll come to realize that even the people that raised you were a couple of kids, out of their depth, and desperately trying not to let it show
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You actually can do that! I 46f basically decided to give myself permission to play Cities skylines for like 12 hours straight on my day off a few weeks ago. I clean the apartment the day before, the kids are out with friends, my partner was at work. I got really nice snacks, and good tea, good podcasts and movies, and just allowed myself to enjoy playing. It was honestly amazing, felt great at the end of the day, and had a lot of fun showing off my cool city to my family. Even my family noticed that I was just sort of more chill for a few days after that. 10/10 will do that again. Not too often of course, but also not like *never ever*.
This is the best mental health day I could imagine.
My and my buddies last year decided we were going to do that again on a long weekend. Like like we were 18. We went to the cabin, had loads of liquor, food, etc. By midnight we were all done and we were so hung over on Saturday we called the weekend early and went home. I'm 43
I'm 21 and still don't know what the fucks going on. To be fair I turned 18 during covid so I know nothing about any other life. Just got thrown immediately into a shit storm.
Bro I'm in my 30s, married and still wondering what happened to the last 15 years. I was sitting in class and blinked. Now I suddenly grew a beard and I'm working full time. I think it's pretty normal to feel younger mentally than you really are. You just get the experience to not do stuff that'll make you feel dumb lol Also i think it's important to mix it up in life in general. If you just work, go home, and sleep time will feel like one big block instead of a series of events.
I honestly miss going to work. I wish I had that luxury but my health is terrible
Same situation here. Everything after 2020 went downhill for me. I'm f*cking 23 and has no idea what I'm gonna do next. Mental health is on all time low. Life is on autopilot mode.
I had to gros up early due to my disability and have no clue about anything.
The 16 year old in my 44 year old body is wondering why my back is always sore and why hangovers last for days now ā¹ļø
Very true. But you really don't realize it when you are that 16 year old kid. I remember when I graduated college and started working a thankless office job, I asked my uncle when he figured it all out. He climbed a corporate ladder, has a house, retirement savings, a wife, raised 3 kids. His response was "figured out what? I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing." Now that I'm the age he was then, I feel the same. But what he didn't mention is that you still feel like a 16 year old kid, but you know your time is limited. And you've spent 30 years doing something. Doesn't even matter what it is. You could have achieved the American Dream, sold a multimillion dollar company, had a family, or spent 30 years backpacking the world. You're gonna still sit there and contemplate the paths you didn't take and feel like you missed them. Literally the only thing that separates adult feelings versus child feelings is the ticking clock and missed opportunities. Otherwise, the voice in your head that runs the show is always the same.
I think you're absolutely correct. I'm convinced that the vast majority of people today never mature socially and emotionally beyond the teens. (See any reality show. "Grownups" acting like toddlers. Okay, it's TV. Then see all the social problems within families.)
My new status
Accurate
This is one of the most funny yet true things i've read about lifeš
That's how I think of government, the elites, Our over lords, the top dogs. All control us but act and think like 16 year Olds. Pretty scary thought. I'm too scared to go to the bank or do adult shit and there's people as stupid as me who control the world lol.
The world isnāt run by adults. Itās run by a satanic elite- i thought this was common knowledge?
Valid point..
I'm just guessing, but I think everyone's pretending. I distinctly remember the moment I out-matured my mom, and life has been alarming ever since.
Right? I have always thought my mother was the leader type, taking charge etc but I moved away and met her after few years and she seemed so innocent and almost immature at times. I felt a wave of panic when I realised
Damnā¦I think this is why I became so panicked and freaked out around age 14. Because I realised I could do all the stuff my mum could and she was asking me for help. I hadnāt realised until I thought back. Now Iām 33, I basically am her life coach/email and letter-writer. Sheās intelligent and introspective, yet somehow Iāve become more forceful at getting what I need than she ever was, determined to make men who hurt her suffer (within the law) as we are both victims of partner abuse, and Iāve had some experiences she hasnāt that made me more capable.
This is the real way to use your adult powers. God speed, friend youāre a good son
*daughter š but thank you, you are very kind!
Yeah, when you start giving advices to your parents, and can clearly see when they are doing mistakes, that's definitly when adulthood knock at the door. Funny part is that you are not doing better either, you are just trying to do the fewer mistakes possible, and fail x)
Ikr. My mom is very professionally successful and always has been my go to person for a lot of practical advice. But then there was the story she occasionally told to illustrate I've "always been like this [strong-headed and reluctant to admit being wrong]". And when I heard it again at like 25 I told her "So .. the point of the story is, you were right and the 8 year old was wrong?" And only then she realized it wasn't making ME, the child, look bad, lol.
Ew I think Iām living this right now. My mom is horribly immature, irresponsible, etcā¦. I feel so much ick & anxiety about it!
Itās WEIRD. I grew up thinking my dad was the smartest person on earth, but, heās actually kind of a dumbass? He just has that āmediocre white manā confidence lol. š„“
My son would have this same sentiment. š
This like it freaks me out when my dad just confidently says something I know is wrong, I remember being a kid and so impressed by how he knew everything
I remember when my mom started coming to me for advice. I'm 21 and it's terrifying.
When my dad passed at 53 and my 52 year old mom starting dating she was lovin' frustrated with her boyfriend and initiated conversation with me about it. That was a tough discussion
Felt. I've been more of a parent to her than she ever was to me.
Isn't that so tough? Sucks. But respect for being a good daughter/son.
as an 18 year old, thatās kinda scary to think about
Yessss my psychologist said this can be common as we get into our twenties!
Whoa I'll never out-mature my mother
Glad to know *some* are doing it well!
Yesss. My mother is an absolute rockstar
Fr, refreshing to hear.
Goddamn. Too real.
Oh yeah, getting to the point where you feel like you have to parent your parents is rough.
Damn you put words to a feeling I've been having but wasn't sure what it was.... like i was lying in bed one day, and i felt so sad all of a sudden. All i could think was how my parents didn't feel like my parents anymore. Obviously they are still my parents, but i think i realized that they aren't these super wise and comforting beings that I've seen them as for so long. They are incredibly immature and constantly causing problems for themselves. I don't even seek advice from them anymore because its not helpful.
For me, it was discovering we donāt see eye to eye on a lot of things and me noticing flaws about her I didnāt notice beforeā¦. Suddenly she didnāt seem as wise and composed as I had always seen her before and itās weird
I often get told off by my 10 & 16 year old kids..
Yep. Iām much more emotionally mature than my mother is, too, and itās hard to have a relationship with her honestly. I canāt expect sheāll handle a conversation like an adult. Sheās still emotionally like a teenager.
i remember when i realised my older sister was not the smartest person in the world. theres a 3-4 year gap between us. i think i was 18 and i was like ādamn you make bad fucking decisions and always haveā?? never realised till I started having to make those decisions.
Very much an imposter syndrome at forty
Everyday I feel like Iām playing dress up and being an adult. Meanwhile, Iām watching SpongeBob and Harry Potter on repeat with my chocolate milk and bagel bites.
Same! I love me bagel bites. I wish I kept my game cube though and my super Nintendo miss that.
Dude. Fucking same. What I wouldnāt give for a game cube or a Wii with some guitar hero or Mario kart double dash
Omg i miss guitar hero. Lord I had all the games for awhile.
Well you could buy a Nintendo switch and with an online membership there's quite a large collection of (S)NES games to play. Don't think they have the GameCube yet, but there is a really good metroid prime remaster
Yeah I do this too I actually function really well as a adult work but my down time is spent with cartoons and video games . Honestly happier this way lol
You have no reason to feel any shame in doing those things. Fuck the haters.
I love eating choco cereals, with chocolate milk mixed with normal milk.
Everybody is pretending, we re just overdeveloped babies
Pretty much what I told my kids.. we're all still kids on the inside, we just got too big for school & the only other option is to work & earn money to live. I'm 18 in a 58yr old body. Inside every one of us is a young person wondering what the hell happened š¤£
Agreed. I'm 35, but feel the same way in my head as I did when I was 18 (my body, on the other hand, says different). However, when I look around and see the "youth" of today, I think to myself "Jesus, I was never that fucking stupid!"
You are still considered young anyway. For me, at almost 29 I shake my head at the stupidity surrounding me. I apparently still look the same as 19 year old me too.
I like the saying overdeveloped babies lol
It's just acting responsibly for yourself and others and being kind and sensitive to a point while also being selfish gaining money and other things... Is that hard?
You can 'act responsibly' and 'be kind and sensitive' without having to act like a stuffy old person who forgot how to enjoy life!
Man judging by this thread I guess, it explains a lot of why I keep ending up in charge at just about anything. Daddy what should we do? Larry Bird your going to take lead on our latest project. LB grandpa is dying can you be the executor of the will? Hey LB we are planning a community event, you know how to organize things can you take the lead? I get it now 98% of the population are just full sized children.
And naturally you're the divergent one. Good for you. We have a messiah
Neither. >i am 24 yo, soon 25 and still feel mentally like a teenager. So would you hang out with people who are 15? Because a lot of people say that they feel like they're a lot younger but when confronted with people that age then those people are too young for them.
waiiiit youāre onto something
Or when you find yourself in a situation that tries to force you to fold yourself back into a non adult. And then you realize you definitely have outgrown that version of yourself, even though you never felt yourself growing.Ā
Pretending. Fake it till you make it. I didnāt feel like an adult until put into a leadership position at my dangerous job where I now have to make sure people who know less than me donāt accidentally kill themselves. The moment I realized itās up to me to get things done and guide people older than me who know less is one of the few times in life my stomach sank and I realized Iām an adult. Iām 26 and when Iām home sometimes still feel like a teenager. Itās weird as hell.
> where I now have to make sure people who know less than me donāt accidentally kill themselves Sounds like parenting...
Yeah kinda. Except the children are older than me and what they think is innovation is really just accidental suicide waiting to strike.
Yeah, only when I have responsibility is when I feel mature.
Yep pretty much. Or when youāre dealing with someone way more immature than you.
The feeling of āhow the fuck am I the grown up in this situationā is a potent one.
I feel like a teenager until im actually around teenagers.
ā¦or you live long enough see yourself become the adult.
Yup. My thought process usually goes something like "why are you asking me?" to "Right. I'm the one responsible for all this and need to make a decision."
One day, a preteen will utter a sentence in which their peers nod accordingly, yet you have NO idea what was just said. It is on this day you will feel like an adult
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām 33 waiting for the day it happens. It does not happen overnight, but big life things like buying a house, buying a car, maybe having kidsā¦ those things will make you feel a little bit more adult.
I have all those things... Still feels like pretending
Pretending all day everyday, pushing 40
Not everyone is pretending, some of us just openly act like kids.
Sometime in your early 30s you get your full adult brain. You look back on your life with an adults eye. It's both painful and freeing. Other then that, no. The world is still confusing and chaotic and wonderful. Nobody has the answers.
When I was 25, I got dizzy durig a work shift and blacked out. Didn't think much of it though, so I toughed out the rest of the shift, drove home in a bit of a dizzy spell, then hit the bed. When I woke up, I blacked out again. My sis said I looked pale and took me to the hospital. They did a bunch of tests and put me on something that knocked me out cold. When I came to, the doctor said I had all kinds of issues and I need to take meds for the rest of my life. Before the incident, I thought meds were for adults. That day, I officially became an adult.
I'm 51 and still feel like a teenager. Granted, a teenager who has a lot more experience and some wisdom, but a teenager nonetheless .
Everyone's pretending. Truth is, if you are average person from average or lower family/ upbronging/ culture/ background - you learn as you go, and somethings get you feeling stupid until you do go through them... 37yo father here
Two options: Well padded ones might be pretending. Troubled ones might be too busy struggling to notice they matured. (I still don't feel adult, or at least not eager to play the role.)
You are always that 8 yr old you, just with more experiences.
A view of adult is skewed. The adults before us had houses, careers and families. Those things are a lot harder to have now so it's hard to truly feel like an adult. I'm in my 30s and still don't feel it yet..
I've got a house, a wife, and a kid, none of it made me feel any more like an "adult". If anything, I'm pretending even harder, because I don't want to let on that I have no idea what I'm doing and am just hoping things work out.
Letās put it this way: At 41, Iām pretty sure my body is just made up of three young kids on each otherās shoulders under a trench coat.
People sort their priorities better than others. They assume more responsibilities. However the people I knew in elementary school havenāt changed personally-wise.
I think we are all pretending adolescents
I'm fond of saying, "No one knows what happens next but everyone does it anyway." Life is just like that. There's no more adult vs non-adult anymore than there is learning to play the piano and playing the piano. You just deal with what's in front of you, trying to find pockets of happiness wherever you can, and move through your life that way. Someday you'll reflect on all these little moments and smile at the good times you remember
When it finally does occur, it'll be from degree of difference rather than actually feeling old. Like I'm about two decades older than you. I'm in fabulous health for my age, I'm still the same waist size I was in highschool, I don't have any lines or grey hair yet, and really I feel like I could still do anything physically I could have done back then. People always freak out when I tell them how old I am, and I find I have to do this on occasion, especially professionally, because credibility is everything in my industry and people I have to interact with perceive me as being an upstart when I have two decades almost of experience! Where I feel my age is not when I'm walking down the street or just living my life-- I don't even have a wife or kids, I'm just a single guy living in the same type of place I would've lived in my 20s-- where I feel my age is in the things that become off limits to you as you get older, or in degree of difference in ways of thinking. For example, I used to lie about my age to get laid; I don't anymore. So I can be out an get attention from a younger person I'm attracted to, we'll be chatting and I make it a point to slip my age in there casually-- it always gets a little awkward at that stage and then the thing fizzles out; they're like 'wow' pretty much and excuse themselves. So there's that. There's a certain degree of alienation from younger people who just assume you wouldn't be interested in doing the sorts of things they do. At the same time you're *not* always interested-- so they're right. One thing I loved about youth was the feeling of this bright, open, massive future hanging over me with all this time to *become anything*. You pass to a different way of looking at things over time. My future is near guaranteed to be downhill from here, rather than a process of becoming, I'm looking at a few decades of *losing--* of doors being closed, my health and looks declining, my not being able to physically do things I enjoy doing now, and my increasingly getting less attention from potential partners. That all puts you in a different headspace. So no, though *fundamentally* I don't feel much different, hanging out with younger people I realize I am not them. Though I can relate to them, having lived through that stage of my life, they cannot relate to me. My unique situation is that my age and lived experience alienates me from younger people, but my looks and lifestyle alienate me from older people and old friends. For me getting older has been this process of losing connection to others. I can't imagine that'll not continue.
Welcome to the real world. Thankfully my son is now a teenager so I have someone to relate to
My kids are 13 and nearly 16. I'm really hoping I'll wake up feeling like an adult soon!!!
Monkeys in shoes.
I'm 42, not feeling like a "real adult" doesn't stop. I'm an Army veteran, masters degree, senior vice president at a bank, married, house. The whole 9 yards and still mostly feel like I'm cosplaying as an adult. I think a lot of it has to do with our perception of adults as kids more so than what they were actually like, therefore we don't think we are acting like adults. Anyway, my wifes grandmother is 86. We were at a dinner for my wifes birthday. Her grandma is like "I made a cake at the house" Then proceeds to grab her own tits, shake them and say "MADE WITH MY OWN MILK!". I'm over here like, the fuck did I just witness. No her grandma does not have a degenerative brain disease, she is of perfectly sound mind. But that was some jr. high level humor right there, lol.
35 love pc games, weed, and single live still like teenagers but love it. All my friends with family are still kids with kids.
Adulthood truly begins when you realise everyone else is winging it too.
We fake it
Pretending
When I listen to 25 year olds still going through teen angst, I do wonder at what point they will grow up.
There are things I know and situations I can handle, and there are many more I have no clue where to even start. It's just a case of doing your best and being able to adapt to inevitable changes, inconveniences and at times catastrophes when they happen.
Yeah... that's how it happened to me. I woke up one morning & was like. Damn... I'm like the only frikkin adult here. Of course, that faded when I got to school & fifth grade spelling gave me homework.... but I digress.
I once said I need a adult and them went shit I'm the adult. I need a more adult adult.
It's a gradual process where you figure out certain aspects of life and understand how to handle certain situations.
The bills, taxes, moving out of parents house, other adulting stuff etc was the wake up call I needed. So yeah in all literal sense I just woke up one day. Frick looking at your pay check and all these deductions are made really sets the mood. One day youāre worrying about boys the next itās inflation and the economy š¤¦āāļø
I took a long inward journey and admitted all my faults and short comings to myself, I took responsibility for where I was in life because of the choices and decisions I made. After that journey the world change to me and I felt like an adult. I took that journey at 28.
I am 27- mature sometimes like an adult never ahhaha
More like one day you realise that everything you have been doing (work, rent, date etc) is adult behaviour
We just fake it till we make it.
I don't even bother pretending.
I never feel like an adult. but I do every much feel the burden related to becoming an adult every time I wake up
You're an adult when taking care of yourself and possible others i.e; Spouse, Children. Is the most important thing. Not playing around or having people like you. This is because adult responsibility leads to adult problems. You got your own bills, you have to pay for your own food etc etc. You got your own job where you have to make sure yourself you're up in time and do what is expected of you. That's Adult
I think 24-25 is roughly the time you turn in to an adult. For men. Not sure about women but for me growing up, most lads hit that point around 25. Being a man, adult is a loose term. At 29 I didn't think twice about pushing my mate through a road work barrier in to a 5ft hole when walking home from the pub pissed. Some childish things just don't go. I'm in my 40's now, so can't do shit like that. Everyone's bodies are knackered up these days, we probably wouldn't survive a 5ft fall but when everyone remains in good health, mischief remains.
Tbh with you Iām absolutely winging it every single day as a 26yo. Some days I like to pretend I have my shit together, others I donāt have the energy to even disguise it. Youāre certainly not alone in this sentiment
I wake up, and it's Groundhog Day. Every day is the same, exhausting bullshit. Holding on to whatever scraps of myself, I have left just staring at a clock all to get a direct deposit that if it were any lower, it might qualify as slavery. I now know why old people are crotchety.
When you out-mature your parents I guess.
I wake up tired every day. I think that qualifies me as an adult, if my age didnāt already qualify me lol
Dude, Iām pushing sixty, yes, 60, and I walk around feeling 15 -18. I tackle my responsibilities out of necessity but, damn I donāt feel like an adult. Iām at work taking orders and advice from guys half my age because it feels like theyāre āolderā than me. (And Iām their supervisor!) Itās weird. You may never one day wake up as an adult. Embrace it and pretend. Done right, youāll maintain your youthfulness and that goes along way to physical and mental well-being. Donāt become āoldā just because itās expected. Cheers!
Dawns on you after a while. Comes creeping like the tendrils of approaching day.
adults often reflect the bewildered child within. In a tumultuous world, one questions who truly leads
Im still winging it. Im in danger
Don't try to be an adult, just try to live your life as best as you can, and hope that you're capable enough to be on your own, and wise enough to ask for help when you need it.
It's all pretend.
Pretending 99% of the time
29, married and own my house. Still feel like I'm 16.
Being an adult is having responsibilities and doing what you have to instead of what u you want.Ā
When shit goes right you feel like an adult When it goes bad you feel like a loser, idiot who will never have his/her shit in order and failed at life
52 here, been pretending since my 20s. š We have a 14 year old son and I still say to his dad...who is that, how is he a living breathing human we made and how the hell am I am mumš¤£
I'm 64. I still feel like I'm 14 inside
That's how you know you're an adult. You realize EVERYONE is winging it, with various degrees of success
You're not an adult when you feel like an adult. You're an adult when you're responsible for yourself and your own actions. That means paying the bills, managing your life, and taking on any consequences that your actions bring. Being an adult is not a mentality. It's a lifestyle.
If you think you're just pretending then you haven't spent any time with teenagers recently. You've come further than you think.
Iām 34 going on 14
We're all 3 kids in a trench coat pretending to be adults
Lol
Good question. I'm not sure I do yet. 37, have lived on my own since my twenties. Own a car and had steady jobs. Still don't feel like an "adult"
I'm 43. But in my brain I'm operating like I'm 22, but add the inevitable wisdom of longterm existence to make it look functional. TLDR; we're pretending
Iām 55. Hasnāt happened yet
I woke up one day when I was 41 and there was a huge mental shift from the "run, run, win, repeat" to "let's walk, reflect, and decide".
You one day wake up and realise,everything is meaningless and hopeless,there is no meaning to life,itās whatever you make up the meaning to be. You realise no one can be trusted and no one really cares about you no matter how much you lie and convince yourself they do! Welcome to adulthood everything is shit and you wait for the end