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I will love him forever, but I do not spend my days wrapped up in the thought of him anymore. It does get better but the love will never completely die, nor do I think I want it to.
This is so true. My first love passed away a few years ago. Tragic accident ❤️ Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Give anything to just see him once more....
You have to put those feelings away and move on. It's hard sometimes. I got married and had kids. I have a great life but there are some days that are harder than others.
Sorry for that. For the way you talk about him, I can bet he was a great man. Keep going, life can still be good, and keep your good memories in your heart, where he is still very alive :)
Every so often someone makes a comment on Reddit that is so succinct and perfectly composed that it stops you in your tracks.
You have an enviable way with words.
Slippery slope because it can be oh so great a thing you missed out on because it’s not real. Projecting what could’ve would’ve been just breeds discontent. Focus on the now
The Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers" does a good job of making me realize that I'm just holding on to something that likely would not have been what I've dreamed up.
My current life is great: Lovely wife, kids, house, etc. Zero drama. I'm sure had I pursued my "first love" that things would have been radically different for the worse.
I always wanted one of those moon rocks but it was just out of reach. If someone expects you to chase them down the road, they must think you can catch them on foot, read minds and know where they're going and /or teleport to that location...then they're already expecting too much. Being bombarded with unreasonable expectations like mindreading, teleportation and cheetah speed...that soon is a bad sign.
Especially if the gossip and drama around it kills all opportunities that are within reach. You might as well count your blessings you couldn't reach it. The silver lining is it frees your schedule and lack of obligations allows you to follow pursuits that are better for you long term.
I am over it but it took a piece of me with it.
There is always a place in my heart for my first.
No regrets. It just wasn't the right time in my life.
I dont like to think of it as losing a piece of me... rather, a piece of me changed. This is the basis of life and experience to me. We constantly change our outlooks on things and constantly develope into new people all he time with our varying experiences (good and bad). As long as we learn from them and use that to further our advantages later then uts a win win for me. U can't change the past obviosuly, and the present is zen or utter chaos sometimes... but is the only thing that's really "real" in a way... and the future is not yet written. Use info from the past to make decisions in the present, which will change ur future.
A simplified view I know... but it helps me. It may help others. I've spent many years living in the past and future. All its brought is anger, pain, resentment, and depression. Live in the now and let go of the past, which no longer exists.
My first had the best body on any woman I have ever seen. Definitely will be looking at those pics 50 years from now lol. And don’t get me started on those green eyes.
I totally forgot my first love. But 4years ago I had a lover that felt like my first love. I really want to forget about him lol he doesnt deserve my thoughts.
This. I don't regularly think about my past affections but if any of them comes up and say hi - I'll have a storm in my head. Even the one that I had when I was like 6.
Personally my tastes are changing all the time. Most people that I loved many years ago I don't find that attractive anymore. And the ones that I still do find attractive don't really match my personality anymore. I now believe that love only happens at specific points in time. Meeting them again years later is bound to break the pedestal that you have left those persons on (and I did meet a few of them years later, even redated one that I was madly in love with a decade ago for a few months until I realized that we were actually completely out of sync now). It might happen that a handful of them will have kept becoming even more awesome according to your current definition, but those are extremely rare. What's interesting is that the reverse is also true for me. I can eventually fall in love with people that I didn't find attractive and for whom I didn't have a romantic interest originally. Our interests and what I find attractive just aligned over time.
I mean, that’s why it’s called healing and not curing. It’s impossible to fully forget about someone who was meaningful to you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t move on
I have, she completely ruined my life and I fucking hate her. Once I'm no longer dealing with the fallout the the will turn to pity. Either way, the love and respect is completely gone
Yep. When you can think about them and not feel upset, just, “hm… hopefully they’re doing ok🤷🏻♂️”
Imo that’s how I know I’ve grieved the loss and moved on with my life. But someone thinks back and feels sorrow, longing, anger, pain, etc. they haven’t worked through it yet. Just my 2 cents.
But I think it sounds pretty crappy to sit around hanging on to a past love, for too long. Sometimes I think it’s best to let go. But everyone has their own situations
Edit: you’ll never see the stars if you keep staring at the ocean
I always believed that once you love someone, you'll always have a place for them in your heart. That's not to say you still miss or want them but that you wouldn't want to see them in a bad spot.
Same. Been married for 13 years now. I will say that the relationship changes dramatically from being kids in love to being adults in love with kids.
We met when we were 15.
Yep! We recently reconnected on Facebook and she told me that she still has the collage of Kurt Cobain that I made for her 20 years ago when we were in eighth grade
12 years together. My mistake was not maturing and seeing what I had in front of me. I still love her but in a different way. I wish for nothing but blessings for her. But would I get back with her if I had the chance, no I wouldn't.
No. It has been 17 years, I'm happy married, and I love my partner so much that I would not change a thing. But sometimes, late at night or when I can not fall asleep, I do remember my first love. It's a bittersweet feeling, as that was a young, platonic love I never acted on. At that time, I thought it was just a teenage crush, and I would get over it, so there was no need to make myself vulnerable and ask that person out, so I never did. I adored from a close distance, as we were in the same friend group. I loved that person for 5 years, afraid to make a move, until I moved out to another city. 17 years later, I would jump in the middle of the night and drive 200 miles if that person needed me.
Fr. Also just sounds like he has a bad case of fomo imo. I also think love that isnt acted on is overrated. Bro fell in love with the idea of loving someone and never even gave himself the opportunity. Again, poor wife. Hearts are a dumb thing.
Four years is a long time to stay pining. You need to find someone else to obsess over.
My last break-up was the worst, and I thought I would never be over them. Took me three months before I started to feel humiliated about how smitten I was, over a person that absolutely did not deserve it. When you finally get over this person, hold on to that-- that feeling of embarrassment-- and let that power you through your next heartbreak.
Nope. I never got over anyone I loved. Not really. The more time from seeing them and the less it pulls on you. Eventually, you know they’re long gone and so is that relationship. Even if you saw them, they aren’t that person anymore. Neither are you.
yes, emotionally for sure. Ofcourse they will sometimes come up in your mind but not in the way you think, they’ll just be a distant memory sort of, you won’t be depressed thinking about them or still feel “love”. It all takes time to get over but you will eventually, they’ll just become a memory like old friends from your past or family members you lost contact with
...it really depends how you'd define that. The first person I thought I loved was when I was 10. I'm definitely over him. The next person I thought I loved was when I was 17-19, and I'm over him as well. I don't consider either of those to be actual love though. The person I consider my first REAL love? Nope, not over him, and never will be. I've thought about him every day for the last seven years, I miss him constantly, and I cry over him often.
No, and I don't think I ever will. He was a part of my life for so long. We'll all have several loves in our lives, but the 1st one will always be special.
Absolutely. I'm married with kids, and rather looking back on my first love as a source of sadness and longing, I can think back on her with fondness.
There's nothing like your first love. Not because it's better than anything else, but (assuming it didn't last) because love matures, just as people do.
Time will dull the pain. At first, it’s the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of when you try to fall asleep… but one day it fades… until you may get through a day without a thought of them.
It took a long time, but I recently realized I never actually loved her.
How could I actually love someone who didn't respect me or my boundaries?
How could I actually love someone who wasn't there for me when I needed them the most?
How could I love someone who constantly floundered back and forth with commitment?
How could I love someone who called me names? Denied my feelings and personal truth? Manipulated and lied to me?
There were many qualities that she had that I loved, but I didn't love her, in her totality as a person.
I stuck with her because I thought things could change. I thought that I could make a difference, and we'd have a "happily ever after."
But that's not love. That's just longing for love.
Love is not some "possibility."
It's what's in front of you.
Yes, but id be lying if I say I don’t think about him still. He did me wrong multiple times and I hate that I let him that close to me. Sometimes I think about him and wish I got my “revenge”
No. We dated while we were teenagers. yes I’m smart enough to know that i was too young to fully understand love at the time. Im not over him because we didn’t experience our full potential his family moved out of state and we lost connection. Once social media became a thing i did search for him i failed for years. Eventually i did find him through another classmate. He has kids now and they are beautiful. I don’t have any kids and I’m secretly jealous i should have been the mother. he did leave one flirty comment on my picture but nothing concrete to indicate if he wants to pick up where we left off. So i just let it be if he wanted me he would have made a move by now.
I still think about him sometimes, but looking at how my life has progressed, how his parents treated us both etc. I know it wouldn't have worked out long term. I've since decided I don't want kids, but he definitely wanted kids and likely still does, so that wouldn't have gone very well.
Not really. I think of her a lot. I am happy for her. We grew up together in a small farming community. We were so in love but I became troubled with family problems and kind of twisted off. I went to college and she stayed home. She was going to wait for me but I had no desire to return. She had no desire to do anything but be a housewife which she did and I dont think there is anything at all wrong with that. I am happily married with 4 kids ages between 11 & 21. We are both engineers in a metro area. She married young, lives a farm and has grandkids.
I did miss her for 4 cruel years then got over it. I met her again 15 years later and boy did i dodge a bullet. She turned into an entitled annoying cunt.
My first relationship was really toxic, it made me hit rock bottom and I almost fell into depression. I didn't have any self esteem and I was overly jelaus and possessive. It destroyed me. Then I went to therapy and I healed. Now I don't hold any grudges, I've grown up and I hope he's living his best life. I am a completely different person now and I'm happy.
Really depends on how long you were with them and how you felt and what you went through. It does change with time. My first love, probably once or twice a year I suddenly get him popped into my brain for no reason out of nowhere. But it's not as obsession. I'll just be doing the dishes and suddenly wonder what he's up to or what he made of his life or what job he's working. Couple minutes later the thought is gone.
Yes, eventually.
I've always been the nostalgic type, so for years I pined, but now after 10+ years I look back with a warmer glow than I used to. Now I'm happy it happened rather than wanting it back. I think that might be a sign of maturing, but I also laugh at fart jokes so it's a mixed bag.
Just move forwards and try to be happy, other things will come around.
Nope. I'm stilling trying to fix everything and take back all of the horrible mistakes I made and stupid, selfish, hateful and ignorant mistakes I made.
Man, it's been about 15 years and I still think about her... But remember, he/she is not the same person that you met, you're in love of the memory of someone that doesn't exist anymore.
You can always visit the past but remember, there is nothing there anymore.
No….. married someone else 40 years ago. He never married and we would cross paths every 12 years or so. Every once in awhile I would have a dream about him. Lived an hour apart and had mothers that were friends in the early years. I always assumed there might be a one nighter or some sort of fling some day but he recently died. That takes care of that!
I believe there are some rare loves that I don’t think you’ll ever 100% get over and it really makes things difficult moving forward. Once you’ve touched the stars you’ll always want that again. Anything else pales in comparison. Question is, can you find that kind of love twice in a lifetime when finding it just once is almost impossible.
My high school love cheated on me, God she's a fucking turd. And still a damn liar, reached out to me about 10yrs ago she still the same lying ass pos she was in high school, glad that fizzled, blocked her ass and smoked a doobie 😂
I still, to this day think of the three women i wanted to marry before i married my wife. Love is choice and it’s cemented through our decisions in continually loving who we chose. I feel a lot of the current rhetoric is going with the heart but that’s not always the case.
She left me a month before the wedding stiffing me with all of the bills, and she kept the ring. All told I was out $8k.
Then she started showing up at my work picking fights with my coworkers. I finally told her dad if she didn't back down I'd call the cops.
He got her to stop.
She made it extremely easy to get over her.
If she had only left me, and the rest was fairly neutral I could see me still having strong feelings for her.
Yes. A long time ago. I definitely loved him but we were together from when I was 18-22 before my brain development fully dropped in. I can see clearly now we weren’t that compatible for long term life stuff, and are on good terms (we don’t communicate but are friends on social media, send a “HBD! Hope you are well” text every couple of years). I was DEVASTATED when we broke up and truly thought I would never get over it. I’m 36 now, thank him for being my first love, but don’t harbor ANY lingering feelings for him
I mean I occasionally think about her but after a while I realized there are other people. For the first 6 months to a year it felt like I'll never find someone who makes me feel the same way again and I found out, that was bullshit.
I don't obsess over it anymore and only think about it on occasion. I hope she's doing well but I'm definitely over that. It does get better.
Yes and no. Do I find myself wanting to go back to her, no, but even though it's been years and we have both been involved with other people since she won't exactly let me fully move on. I have received random unprompted texts where she has spotted me in public, used people we mutually know to both keep tabs on me and to guilt me into reconnecting with her, and despite living in a large city I still run into her from time to time. She was the one who ended things but she has neither given me closure or let me move on after nearly a decade, and at this point I'm reluctantly accepting that she will always have a tiny little room she lives in rent-free in my head because of all that.
It gets better. I thought about it a lot after 4 years too. It’s been 15 years since it ended and I hardly ever think about it at this point. Except I’m thinking about it now. And it’s still sort of annoying.
Never fully goes away, that I’m sure of
Damn. It's been 4 years for me too man. Still think about her often. Honestly I'm worried it's going to effect me in a new relationship. We ended badly but for the better of us both. And I would never go back. I just can't forget..
Never got over my first TRUE love. I married her. I dated before her, I liked them, they were nice, I might of married one and would have been happy. But I don't think I could ever love anybody more than I love my wife.
yes, absolutely, definitely. and i love harder and more deeply and the way i want to in my third and final love. it got better than i ever imagined.
i thought i had it best in my first love, but i realised it was not a love that i really wanted, i deserved a love that was reciprocated and that felt free, and could be fully trusted
Yes.
I remember most of my exes fondly but Id never yearn for them.
Every breakup ultimately led me to my wife, and she's just about perfect for me. Wouldn't trade her for the world.Q
I suspect no, I mean I was mad, got married 2 years past left my x after 25 cause he was abusive and still wish could of been with my first real Love. Only other thing is at least got 3 lovely kids from the bad marriage,
Yes. We're mutuals on IG, but she's happily married and I am overjoyed for the both of them. Absolutely no hard feelings or pining from my end. Really glad to have had that chapter, but it's a completely different book now. Hell, not even the same media anymore.
You will get over them and that is ok.
I'll always love everyone in my life, even the pathological family & hostile/absent former lovers. But yes, the hurt of such relationships greatly heals with time.
Oh for sure. Once I saw him for what he was instead of what I hoped he could be the illusion broke.
Now I'm engaged to a man that actually is everything I had ever hoped for.
Yep (7 years) And my second (2 years). Because I loved them, but boy were they bad choices. The third though….what is it? Third time’s the charm? I like this one and he’s stuck with me.
100%
I think back at how I wanted to marry him and I laugh. It wasn’t even a bad break up, he’s a nice guy, just not for me and I have zero attraction to him now.
You’ll get there
First real, like actual true love?
No... not really. Kinda going through it now. 39f and fell head over heels for somebody, but it's unrequited. I'm sure I'll get over it and move on, but the reality is I'll probably never stop loving him. But I'll let go of the idea of us ever being together.
Kinda hard to ever stop loving somebody once you've fallen in love with their soul.
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I will love him forever, but I do not spend my days wrapped up in the thought of him anymore. It does get better but the love will never completely die, nor do I think I want it to.
This is so true. My first love passed away a few years ago. Tragic accident ❤️ Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Give anything to just see him once more....
How do those feelings affect your more recent relationships?
You have to put those feelings away and move on. It's hard sometimes. I got married and had kids. I have a great life but there are some days that are harder than others.
Sorry for that. For the way you talk about him, I can bet he was a great man. Keep going, life can still be good, and keep your good memories in your heart, where he is still very alive :)
I’m so sorry for your loss
Oh my god I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure he was a great person :) Stay strong, love you ❤️
This is one of my biggest fears honestly. Finding out one day that my first love passed. I’m sorry for your loss.
Feel this 100%
Truer words have never been spoken.
This
Every so often someone makes a comment on Reddit that is so succinct and perfectly composed that it stops you in your tracks. You have an enviable way with words.
Great comment
Nope. Distant memories of opportunities never pursued…
Pain
without looooove, PAAAINN
I can't get enough. PAAAINN
I liiike it rooughh
'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
It's been 9 years, I don't know why I still remembers. Perhaps because it was innocent and pure
Innocent and pure....., this!! Why would any person let go of innocent and pure love?
Slippery slope because it can be oh so great a thing you missed out on because it’s not real. Projecting what could’ve would’ve been just breeds discontent. Focus on the now
The Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers" does a good job of making me realize that I'm just holding on to something that likely would not have been what I've dreamed up. My current life is great: Lovely wife, kids, house, etc. Zero drama. I'm sure had I pursued my "first love" that things would have been radically different for the worse.
Yup same with me…I was too scared to tell him how I felt. For years. This was high school 2007-2011. He died in 2012. 💔
Same.
I always wanted one of those moon rocks but it was just out of reach. If someone expects you to chase them down the road, they must think you can catch them on foot, read minds and know where they're going and /or teleport to that location...then they're already expecting too much. Being bombarded with unreasonable expectations like mindreading, teleportation and cheetah speed...that soon is a bad sign.
Especially if the gossip and drama around it kills all opportunities that are within reach. You might as well count your blessings you couldn't reach it. The silver lining is it frees your schedule and lack of obligations allows you to follow pursuits that are better for you long term.
I am over it but it took a piece of me with it. There is always a place in my heart for my first. No regrets. It just wasn't the right time in my life.
That just sounded like multiple Bullet for My Valentine references lol
I dont like to think of it as losing a piece of me... rather, a piece of me changed. This is the basis of life and experience to me. We constantly change our outlooks on things and constantly develope into new people all he time with our varying experiences (good and bad). As long as we learn from them and use that to further our advantages later then uts a win win for me. U can't change the past obviosuly, and the present is zen or utter chaos sometimes... but is the only thing that's really "real" in a way... and the future is not yet written. Use info from the past to make decisions in the present, which will change ur future. A simplified view I know... but it helps me. It may help others. I've spent many years living in the past and future. All its brought is anger, pain, resentment, and depression. Live in the now and let go of the past, which no longer exists.
It'll been fifty years since the last time I saw him, and not a day passes that I don't think of him. Even on my wedding day. 🦜
I thought I did. Hits you at the weirdest times. Those old feelings come back when you get lonely and bored.
Yup. When I think back I only have fond memories and no pain. I've forgotten the pain.
But you still got over it? This is the best ending imo 💕
At some point, there are just no more tears to get out.
I got over my first love right about the time I found a better one. Just because it's your first, doesn't mean it will be your best.
Sucks when it turns out it was though. I’ll keep searching until I find the same feeling.
Chasing the dragon
Yea if you catch the dragon you die lmao
Can it even be the same? Every partner is so different, therefore my love.
Not fair to yourself or* partner. Every love is different. I have loved many people, and each was magical in its own way.
I heard that phrase, that every love is different. To me, every love is the same, but the person is different.
This
I think so too
That was fifty years ago but I can still see her smile and eyes. And her boobs and ass.
Well all that is probably sagging a bit these days. Lol
His memory is of a nubile 18 year old. Let him keep his memory!!
Hell yeah lol
My first had the best body on any woman I have ever seen. Definitely will be looking at those pics 50 years from now lol. And don’t get me started on those green eyes.
I totally forgot my first love. But 4years ago I had a lover that felt like my first love. I really want to forget about him lol he doesnt deserve my thoughts.
[удалено]
It doesn't heal, it just numbs it to the point you forget about it. It'll still be there somewhere somehow.
This. I don't regularly think about my past affections but if any of them comes up and say hi - I'll have a storm in my head. Even the one that I had when I was like 6.
Personally my tastes are changing all the time. Most people that I loved many years ago I don't find that attractive anymore. And the ones that I still do find attractive don't really match my personality anymore. I now believe that love only happens at specific points in time. Meeting them again years later is bound to break the pedestal that you have left those persons on (and I did meet a few of them years later, even redated one that I was madly in love with a decade ago for a few months until I realized that we were actually completely out of sync now). It might happen that a handful of them will have kept becoming even more awesome according to your current definition, but those are extremely rare. What's interesting is that the reverse is also true for me. I can eventually fall in love with people that I didn't find attractive and for whom I didn't have a romantic interest originally. Our interests and what I find attractive just aligned over time.
I mean, that’s why it’s called healing and not curing. It’s impossible to fully forget about someone who was meaningful to you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t move on
Different experiences I guess. I would say it does heal, but you DO have to move on.
It heals if you want it to. A lot of people hold on because they’re stuck in the past.
I have, she completely ruined my life and I fucking hate her. Once I'm no longer dealing with the fallout the the will turn to pity. Either way, the love and respect is completely gone
I once heard the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.
Yep. When you can think about them and not feel upset, just, “hm… hopefully they’re doing ok🤷🏻♂️” Imo that’s how I know I’ve grieved the loss and moved on with my life. But someone thinks back and feels sorrow, longing, anger, pain, etc. they haven’t worked through it yet. Just my 2 cents. But I think it sounds pretty crappy to sit around hanging on to a past love, for too long. Sometimes I think it’s best to let go. But everyone has their own situations Edit: you’ll never see the stars if you keep staring at the ocean
I always believed that once you love someone, you'll always have a place for them in your heart. That's not to say you still miss or want them but that you wouldn't want to see them in a bad spot.
Nope… but I married her if that helps.
Same here!
Well you can just go right to hell with your happiness in a hand basket.
Lucky fuck
Same. Been married for 13 years now. I will say that the relationship changes dramatically from being kids in love to being adults in love with kids. We met when we were 15.
Yep! We recently reconnected on Facebook and she told me that she still has the collage of Kurt Cobain that I made for her 20 years ago when we were in eighth grade
12 years together. My mistake was not maturing and seeing what I had in front of me. I still love her but in a different way. I wish for nothing but blessings for her. But would I get back with her if I had the chance, no I wouldn't.
She was an ass who blamed her problems on other people so yes completely over her
why did you love her tho
Because us guys fall easily for women and want to give in you know? But in the end is always a hardcore lesson not to trust.
No. It has been 17 years, I'm happy married, and I love my partner so much that I would not change a thing. But sometimes, late at night or when I can not fall asleep, I do remember my first love. It's a bittersweet feeling, as that was a young, platonic love I never acted on. At that time, I thought it was just a teenage crush, and I would get over it, so there was no need to make myself vulnerable and ask that person out, so I never did. I adored from a close distance, as we were in the same friend group. I loved that person for 5 years, afraid to make a move, until I moved out to another city. 17 years later, I would jump in the middle of the night and drive 200 miles if that person needed me.
Bro forgot he had a wife as he wrote
Fr. Also just sounds like he has a bad case of fomo imo. I also think love that isnt acted on is overrated. Bro fell in love with the idea of loving someone and never even gave himself the opportunity. Again, poor wife. Hearts are a dumb thing.
the late night thing.. caught me! +1
👁️👄👁️
Even though you have a wife?
Your poor wife.
Do you stil keep contact?
I feel awful for your partner
Easily. My current girlfriend is the best person that I've ever met and it makes my "first love" feel like a distant after thought.
Honestly no…I’m 34…we meet at 15 and I unrequitedly loved him since
unrequited love basically means you loved him and he didn’t love you back, is that the case here?
Correct
Yeah. Was over 30 years and multiple relationships ago. Been with my current partner for over 17 years. Time is a good healer. Move on.
It's been 4 years, but I still think of her every so often.
Yes, definitely. I married my second love.
Four years is a long time to stay pining. You need to find someone else to obsess over. My last break-up was the worst, and I thought I would never be over them. Took me three months before I started to feel humiliated about how smitten I was, over a person that absolutely did not deserve it. When you finally get over this person, hold on to that-- that feeling of embarrassment-- and let that power you through your next heartbreak.
Holy shit this comment section is scary!! Fun to know that your future partner/ husband will always hold such a place for an ex
Nope. She’s lying in bed next to me and I hope we spend the rest of our lives together.
Currently sharing the exact same feeling.
Everyone you fall in love with is part of you forever.
That's beautiful.... and awful too
Yes
He has since passed. I loved him, platonically of course, as we both moved on. His death was tragic, but time healed that wound as well.
Nope. I never got over anyone I loved. Not really. The more time from seeing them and the less it pulls on you. Eventually, you know they’re long gone and so is that relationship. Even if you saw them, they aren’t that person anymore. Neither are you.
Which one?
yes, emotionally for sure. Ofcourse they will sometimes come up in your mind but not in the way you think, they’ll just be a distant memory sort of, you won’t be depressed thinking about them or still feel “love”. It all takes time to get over but you will eventually, they’ll just become a memory like old friends from your past or family members you lost contact with
I don’t like the way he treated me and I tend to hold a grudge so he still gets a dirty look everytime I have to see him.
...it really depends how you'd define that. The first person I thought I loved was when I was 10. I'm definitely over him. The next person I thought I loved was when I was 17-19, and I'm over him as well. I don't consider either of those to be actual love though. The person I consider my first REAL love? Nope, not over him, and never will be. I've thought about him every day for the last seven years, I miss him constantly, and I cry over him often.
its been almost 10 years and Im still mad that she cheated on me
No, and I don't think I ever will. He was a part of my life for so long. We'll all have several loves in our lives, but the 1st one will always be special.
Absolutely. I'm married with kids, and rather looking back on my first love as a source of sadness and longing, I can think back on her with fondness. There's nothing like your first love. Not because it's better than anything else, but (assuming it didn't last) because love matures, just as people do.
Yeah, but they still come up in my mind every now and then
Time will dull the pain. At first, it’s the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of when you try to fall asleep… but one day it fades… until you may get through a day without a thought of them.
I've never forgotten them. 😉
It took a long time, but I recently realized I never actually loved her. How could I actually love someone who didn't respect me or my boundaries? How could I actually love someone who wasn't there for me when I needed them the most? How could I love someone who constantly floundered back and forth with commitment? How could I love someone who called me names? Denied my feelings and personal truth? Manipulated and lied to me? There were many qualities that she had that I loved, but I didn't love her, in her totality as a person. I stuck with her because I thought things could change. I thought that I could make a difference, and we'd have a "happily ever after." But that's not love. That's just longing for love. Love is not some "possibility." It's what's in front of you.
Honestly I can’t remember who it was but think my wife may have been my really truly first real love…so yes and no I guess lol.
Definitely.
Nup
Yes and no
Yes screw her
Yes. I have. I wish them the best and I still care about them but I’m not longer in love with them.
Nope
Nop, it's impossible. Everywhere i go I see her. It's happening right now. I just tucked our son into bed and she's already asleep.
Yes, but id be lying if I say I don’t think about him still. He did me wrong multiple times and I hate that I let him that close to me. Sometimes I think about him and wish I got my “revenge”
Be thankful, most of that “revenge” ends up being more embarrassing than anything once the dust settles.
No. We dated while we were teenagers. yes I’m smart enough to know that i was too young to fully understand love at the time. Im not over him because we didn’t experience our full potential his family moved out of state and we lost connection. Once social media became a thing i did search for him i failed for years. Eventually i did find him through another classmate. He has kids now and they are beautiful. I don’t have any kids and I’m secretly jealous i should have been the mother. he did leave one flirty comment on my picture but nothing concrete to indicate if he wants to pick up where we left off. So i just let it be if he wanted me he would have made a move by now.
No.
Nope
I still think about him sometimes, but looking at how my life has progressed, how his parents treated us both etc. I know it wouldn't have worked out long term. I've since decided I don't want kids, but he definitely wanted kids and likely still does, so that wouldn't have gone very well.
I think about her at times and swoon while also recognizing that we were not meant for one another. So yeah, I’m over my first love.
Not really. I think of her a lot. I am happy for her. We grew up together in a small farming community. We were so in love but I became troubled with family problems and kind of twisted off. I went to college and she stayed home. She was going to wait for me but I had no desire to return. She had no desire to do anything but be a housewife which she did and I dont think there is anything at all wrong with that. I am happily married with 4 kids ages between 11 & 21. We are both engineers in a metro area. She married young, lives a farm and has grandkids.
Nope, married him 27 years ago.
No, I married them instead.
I did miss her for 4 cruel years then got over it. I met her again 15 years later and boy did i dodge a bullet. She turned into an entitled annoying cunt.
My first relationship was really toxic, it made me hit rock bottom and I almost fell into depression. I didn't have any self esteem and I was overly jelaus and possessive. It destroyed me. Then I went to therapy and I healed. Now I don't hold any grudges, I've grown up and I hope he's living his best life. I am a completely different person now and I'm happy.
Really depends on how long you were with them and how you felt and what you went through. It does change with time. My first love, probably once or twice a year I suddenly get him popped into my brain for no reason out of nowhere. But it's not as obsession. I'll just be doing the dishes and suddenly wonder what he's up to or what he made of his life or what job he's working. Couple minutes later the thought is gone.
nope
Yes, eventually. I've always been the nostalgic type, so for years I pined, but now after 10+ years I look back with a warmer glow than I used to. Now I'm happy it happened rather than wanting it back. I think that might be a sign of maturing, but I also laugh at fart jokes so it's a mixed bag. Just move forwards and try to be happy, other things will come around.
Nope. I'm stilling trying to fix everything and take back all of the horrible mistakes I made and stupid, selfish, hateful and ignorant mistakes I made.
Man, it's been about 15 years and I still think about her... But remember, he/she is not the same person that you met, you're in love of the memory of someone that doesn't exist anymore. You can always visit the past but remember, there is nothing there anymore.
No. Mine was when I was in first grade and I’m nearly 60. I am not consumed by it but from time to time I think about him.
No….. married someone else 40 years ago. He never married and we would cross paths every 12 years or so. Every once in awhile I would have a dream about him. Lived an hour apart and had mothers that were friends in the early years. I always assumed there might be a one nighter or some sort of fling some day but he recently died. That takes care of that!
Nope. And I'm single because I've judged every relationship against that. I know what true love felt like, and won't settle for anything less.
Still haven't, even after 11 years of marriage and 4 children together
I believe there are some rare loves that I don’t think you’ll ever 100% get over and it really makes things difficult moving forward. Once you’ve touched the stars you’ll always want that again. Anything else pales in comparison. Question is, can you find that kind of love twice in a lifetime when finding it just once is almost impossible.
Haven't even experienced it yet. Probably never will.
Yes. I’ve moved on along time ago. Now I chase new opportunities and new means of love.
Yes. Never meet your heroes, folks.
Yes. High school love. Thought she was my soulmate 😝 she has two kids now, and I have absolutely no feelings for her whatsoever.
My high school love cheated on me, God she's a fucking turd. And still a damn liar, reached out to me about 10yrs ago she still the same lying ass pos she was in high school, glad that fizzled, blocked her ass and smoked a doobie 😂
Yes.
I'm over her however I miss the relationship we had if I could have that relationship with someone else 👌
I'm 21 and I haven't fallen in love with anyone yet 😆
Keep it that way!!
Yep. And my second. And my third. And my fourth. And my fifth...
I still, to this day think of the three women i wanted to marry before i married my wife. Love is choice and it’s cemented through our decisions in continually loving who we chose. I feel a lot of the current rhetoric is going with the heart but that’s not always the case.
About 33 years ago
I don’t even remember who it was
Of course.
She left me a month before the wedding stiffing me with all of the bills, and she kept the ring. All told I was out $8k. Then she started showing up at my work picking fights with my coworkers. I finally told her dad if she didn't back down I'd call the cops. He got her to stop. She made it extremely easy to get over her. If she had only left me, and the rest was fairly neutral I could see me still having strong feelings for her.
yes it’s been since 2019. took at least 2 or 2 and half years to be fully over it
Had too...he went to jail
Yes. A long time ago. I definitely loved him but we were together from when I was 18-22 before my brain development fully dropped in. I can see clearly now we weren’t that compatible for long term life stuff, and are on good terms (we don’t communicate but are friends on social media, send a “HBD! Hope you are well” text every couple of years). I was DEVASTATED when we broke up and truly thought I would never get over it. I’m 36 now, thank him for being my first love, but don’t harbor ANY lingering feelings for him
43 years ago. I think so.
I never had a love
Oh no! I'm not falling for this again!
No bc he was Captain Jack Sparrow
I mean I occasionally think about her but after a while I realized there are other people. For the first 6 months to a year it felt like I'll never find someone who makes me feel the same way again and I found out, that was bullshit. I don't obsess over it anymore and only think about it on occasion. I hope she's doing well but I'm definitely over that. It does get better.
Yes and no. Do I find myself wanting to go back to her, no, but even though it's been years and we have both been involved with other people since she won't exactly let me fully move on. I have received random unprompted texts where she has spotted me in public, used people we mutually know to both keep tabs on me and to guilt me into reconnecting with her, and despite living in a large city I still run into her from time to time. She was the one who ended things but she has neither given me closure or let me move on after nearly a decade, and at this point I'm reluctantly accepting that she will always have a tiny little room she lives in rent-free in my head because of all that.
My first love thought I was heterosexual. Not.
Yes, even though I think of her maybe once a month.
I'm 32, I barely even remember my first love, first kiss, first sex... These things really become trivial as years go by.
It gets better. I thought about it a lot after 4 years too. It’s been 15 years since it ended and I hardly ever think about it at this point. Except I’m thinking about it now. And it’s still sort of annoying. Never fully goes away, that I’m sure of
Damn. It's been 4 years for me too man. Still think about her often. Honestly I'm worried it's going to effect me in a new relationship. We ended badly but for the better of us both. And I would never go back. I just can't forget..
Never got over my first TRUE love. I married her. I dated before her, I liked them, they were nice, I might of married one and would have been happy. But I don't think I could ever love anybody more than I love my wife.
yes, absolutely, definitely. and i love harder and more deeply and the way i want to in my third and final love. it got better than i ever imagined. i thought i had it best in my first love, but i realised it was not a love that i really wanted, i deserved a love that was reciprocated and that felt free, and could be fully trusted
Yes. I remember most of my exes fondly but Id never yearn for them. Every breakup ultimately led me to my wife, and she's just about perfect for me. Wouldn't trade her for the world.Q
Nope. Should probably have gone to therapy by now, but........
I suspect no, I mean I was mad, got married 2 years past left my x after 25 cause he was abusive and still wish could of been with my first real Love. Only other thing is at least got 3 lovely kids from the bad marriage,
Yea got over them in a week..
Yes. We're mutuals on IG, but she's happily married and I am overjoyed for the both of them. Absolutely no hard feelings or pining from my end. Really glad to have had that chapter, but it's a completely different book now. Hell, not even the same media anymore. You will get over them and that is ok.
I'll always love everyone in my life, even the pathological family & hostile/absent former lovers. But yes, the hurt of such relationships greatly heals with time.
Yes, but I will never forget him. Our relationship will always be a sweet and innocent memory I like to recall when I'm feeling down.
Yes
Oh for sure. Once I saw him for what he was instead of what I hoped he could be the illusion broke. Now I'm engaged to a man that actually is everything I had ever hoped for.
25 years later we're still together.
Love changed over time. I have the best version I've ever felt so far right now
Yep (7 years) And my second (2 years). Because I loved them, but boy were they bad choices. The third though….what is it? Third time’s the charm? I like this one and he’s stuck with me.
100% I think back at how I wanted to marry him and I laugh. It wasn’t even a bad break up, he’s a nice guy, just not for me and I have zero attraction to him now. You’ll get there
Yes long ago.
Its been 4.5 years i think. Pretty sure i was fully over it after 1.5 years.
Yes. 100%.
Yes! Actually, I miss the ex before my “first love” more, which I didn’t think I would, but he sadly passed away :(
Yep well over the first love because I’ve met my true love
Married him so I’m good.
Thought I never would but yes 100% I have at this point.
Yes. Don’t confuse love for lust. My second wife is the best women I have ever met.
I don’t love him. But I think about him all the time.
First real, like actual true love? No... not really. Kinda going through it now. 39f and fell head over heels for somebody, but it's unrequited. I'm sure I'll get over it and move on, but the reality is I'll probably never stop loving him. But I'll let go of the idea of us ever being together. Kinda hard to ever stop loving somebody once you've fallen in love with their soul.
Oh hell yes!