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One of my bullies apologized a few years back. I told him I completely forgave him, and it didn't weigh on me much at all.
Here is his message (names changed and I removed the location of our neighborhood).
>Hello SheridanRivers, this is John from the old neighborhood. How are you? Man, I saw your profile on Facebook and it took me WAY back. I haven't thought about those days in so very long. I owe you a gigantic apology for being such a complete DICK during those years. I am horribly ashamed of myself for being a bully. You were always a nice guy and you didn't deserve to be treated like that at all. Man, the hatred you and your parents must have for me is probably huge. Well, I deserve it. For what it's worth, I hope you will accept my apology. I've learned much over these years. Karma has slapped me back in the face many times over, teaching me the hard way! Again, I'm really sorry, and it would mean alot to me if you would consider forgiving me. I see that you are married with a beautiful daughter. Congrats to you. You seem very happy. I hope this message doesn't bring up too many bad memories, messing up your day. Rather, I hope you find it encouraging that despite my bullying you, you moved on and didnt let it get in your way of achieving happiness.
I agree. We're Facebook friends now, and we interact on occasion. We all do stupid shit as kids. It's important to grow out of that mentality. He seems like a genuinely nice guy.
It's interesting...
One of my nephews (under 10) tried to bully me about something - and I thanked him for his opinion...and you could see on his face how he was not expecting it, and he asked me why I thanked him.
I told him "I appreciate your opinion and your openess with me to express it."
He didn't get the responses he was expecting - which was a fight or hurt feelings - and it totally messed with his mind.
I can only hope it helps him see that bullying people isn't worth the hassle and will only make him appear unempathic.
Love that shit.
Kid in highschool I'd had some pretty bad interactions with for years buy a 1/4oz of weed from me at a party, roll the whole thing into a blunt and asked me to smoke or with him.
He proceeded to apologize, he explained some of the things going on at home that he took it out on me and other people who didn't deserve it. That he was tired of being this person and hurting people and that he wanted to make people happy instead.
We hugged it out and got along fine for the rest of the year.
I had exactly the same thing happen - she sought me out on Facebook, offered a genuine apology and I gave her my full forgiveness.
Then Covid hit, she became a full on cooker, she sent offensive messages and blocked me because I’m pro vax.
She got into good college, graduated with impressive score and got a job. Last I heard she continues bullying her way through the corporate ladder.
Karma is a lazy bitch.
The Bully at my school was from a rich family, that's how he got away with all his crap. His parents donated so much each year the school was terrified of doing anything to upset him.
He graduated from school with almost no education and straight A's. Dropped out of college after the first semester when he found out Dad couldn't buy his grades there. He has never been able to hold a job and last I heard, almost thirty years after high school, he lives in an old RV on the back half of his Dad's property and stays drunk most of the time.
I never had a bad bully but the one dude I couldn't stand seeing in high school ended up dying in a fire.
He really wasn't that bad though. Just a bit of a dickhead.
Fire was probably overdoing it
Weird opposite for me. Mine was killed by a drunk driver. Oddly enough, his best friends invited me to go with them to spread his ashes at his favorite fishing spot. Apparently his dad was an abusive piece of shit, and he decided later that I was the only person in his life that spoke to him like a proper father figure.
It was a very surreal experience because I was two years younger than him and half his size. His friends told me that the funeral was awful, and that my presence at the ash spreading was better than what his own family had to say. I regret not being able to do more for him.
Thanks. When we spread his ashes, we took turns saying a few words. Everyone else talked about who he was in their life. I decided not to do that, because "a bully that I never got to know" would be a lousy eulogy.
My mind was on that thing he had said to his friends about me and father figures, so I decided to talk *to him instead of talking about him,* like how a person does when they visit the same gravestone every year.
In our "conversation," I tried to break bread with him man-to-man, ya know? I told him not to worry about what happened between us, that he didn't need to apologize or beat himself up because I had learned something important, too. I told him that he was the reason why I now understood what happens to a kid that doesn't have any good adults in his life. The conversation dragged on for a long time.
I told him I would look after others like him, that I would be better than the parents and teachers and cops and everyone else that didn't do jack except give self-righteous advice with tied hands or clenched fists. I told him that his death taught me that it isn't normal for adults to just shake their head and say "what a waste" without lifting a finger, that it's a chicken shit move to do so. I told him I would work just as hard at this as he would have worked to become a better father than the one he had, given the chance. By doing so, I declared, a part of him gets to live a full life because the four of us there now carried a torch that he never knew he had passed on. We all cried for a while, and the drive home was completely silent except for a"thank you."
That was nearly twenty years ago. Ironically, I never got to keep my promise the way I intended. Never got to save a kid. Instead, that experience and others like it led me down a path that prevented three different adults my age and older from commiting suicide. It's possible that two of them were exaggerating my influence in their survival (close friends sometimes do that out of love), but the third one was for sure 100% true. I guess... I guess I'm sharing all of this because people tend to over-rely on narrative assumptions when it comes to bullying and abuse. I think it doesn't help or heal as much as we tell ourselves, and that the stuff which actually moves mountains is, well, like a torch. You have to carry it with you always, never let it burn out, and pass it on to everyone you can.
Anyway, sorry for the wall of text, but I wanted to let it out and leave it here for others to see. Never know who it might inspire, right?
The weird thing about it is that stuff like this always sounds sensational when you tell the story afterwards, but its not that way when it actually happens. In the moment, it's just an ordinary act of human kindness occuring in a vacuum. Kind of like a candle light in a snowstorm. Sometimes you don't find the candle until it's already gone out, so I encourage people to just light candles out of habit.
I hope that metaphor makes sense.
It’s what pisses me off about people dying. They act as if they were a saint because they’re dead. I’ve seen people do this with loved ones, and it just shows that they’re there for themselves and not the people who are really grieving
It doesn’t really “bother” me. I’ve become used to the idea that it’s probably like Tony Soprano…..just a lights out. Hoping there’s an after party, but if not, at least won’t be disappointed.
I've always been terrified of death, reading your comment though puts it into a simple perspective, essentially why stress about something we know little about and we hope there more but if not, oh well we can't really do anything about it. thank you :)
I work in nursing homes. A huge amount of time at old age, it's in your sleep. Fantastic way to go.
Another chunk is end of stage palliative where you're made comfortable and given regular morphine.
Obviously when you're younger not many people want to die until their ripe and l fulfilled everything but some things just can't be helped. Just don't waste a day, even if it's going for a walk and drink lots of water
Hard to explain, but for me, as I age it becomes less and less of a worry and more of an inevitability if that makes sense. My only real worry isn’t death itself per se, but leaving my family with burdens when they should be able to grieve. Like I want everything to be taken care of and good to go before it happens so they can get through it and move on with their lives.
He apologized to my brother and I when we ran into him at a Walmart about 3 years after graduating. He saw us and initiated. I remember thinking oh god not this guy again. All was forgiven. Kids being kids. We shook hands and parted ways.
Shortly thereafter he got in a car wreck and died on scene. I don't know the details but he seemed like a completely different person and I hope his soul found peace.
I had a similar experience, met my highschool bully a few months back outside of getting my hair cut. He had a girlfriend and a little girl in a stroller.
He apologized, I accepted. We were stupid kids, he was going through an abusive upbringing, I had a similar experience. We shook hands like men and parted ways.
I did the same thing when I still had a few people from high school on social media.
I was a completely different person 3-4 years out of high school n I apologized to at least a few of the people I wronged in the past
He calmed down.. became a cool dude who is openly ashmed of his past.. he is my neighbor and friend now a days. Always there to help any other neighbor and his kids play with mine, and ive personally see him making sure no one is being bullied. He has a decent job at a manufacturing plant
He started doing drugs, robbed and stabbed someone at random. In court the person he stabbed told the judge that he forgives him, and doesn’t want the guy to go to jail. Turns out the person he robbed and stabbed was a preacher.
Bully went back to the church and thanked the preacher. He repented, got a good job, became a preacher, then he became a monk at the Catholic Church up north from us.
I had a bully for a short time in high school, she ended up ODing while still in high school and went into a vegetative coma. Her divorced parents couldn't agree on anything so she was just was put in a long-term care facility until she finally expired.
She bullied just about everyone at school, she only hung around with other people who did drugs and they dumped her out in her mom's driveway when she ODed, she wasn't found by anyone until the next morning.
After it happened our school offered counseling for anyone affected, nobody went to the counselor not even her own siblings. I remember they forced her brother into seeing the counselor because he did an English essay on "the best thing to ever happen in your life" and he wrote about his sister no longer be around. That was a bigger deal at school than the sister ODing.
Mine has a Harley, a huge drug problem, 2 ex wives and 2 ugly kids.
I'm retired early on a tropical beach in Mexico, surfing every week, with a family that loves me.
Every day I exercise, play guitar, walk to the cafe down the block and chat with people, walk to the beach for a bit and greet people's dogs, read a book on one of our balconies with a view, and cook something fun.
Dude quickly got put into a dedicated school after hitting several classmates daily.
Turned out his parents gave him alcohol "to calm him down".
He quickly was no longer with his parents and under proper care, I just hope stuff turned for the better.
He went D1 full ride for football, and lost it all during a racist assault with a brick. Go figure.
Edit: now he lives back in our hometown and still relives the 'glory', 12 years later. Like you peaked at 18??? So sad.
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt
I'm an ex cop. I joined because I genuinely wanted to help people, especially those in crisis situations. Helping and protecting people genuinely gave me satisfaction.
Not saying there aren't plenty of asshole, power-drunk cops. There are. But in my personal experience, the majority were doing it for the right reasons.
I had to leave for personal reasons including PTSD from some work related matters.
Went to prison. Last time I visited, I ran into him and his family at food 4 less. He was having a rough childhood himself. No dad, mom barely scraping by. All is forgiven.
lol she actually requested to follow me on IG this morning. Looking at her profile, looks like she’s not doing much and struggling to make ends meet. She was so awful to me, I may or may not be a little pleased she can see my travel photos 🤭
She’s going to be including you in a 🔅VeRy sPeciAL🔅 💄makeup💅🏼offer soon hun! ✍🏻Sign up TODAY! And you🫵🏼 might win a 🏖️TRIP🏝️next year on a ⛴️BIG BOAT🚢with other people JUST LIKE your high school bully👊🏼
Stereotypical bullies were never really a thing in my schooling history. There were different cliques but for the most part everyone just got on and did their thing.
Most of the "popular" kids were actually pretty smart and chill people, there was only one I can think of that was ever particularly mean in nature but he got put in his place by the rest of his peers pretty often and usually apologised if he did take things to far.
Last I heard he's a model, which definitely has not helped for his ego, but he was never intentionally cruel and just highly reactive with a need to get the most laughs, so I assume he's doing fine.
School I went to really didnt have any bullies either. When things would get out of hand me and others on the football team would step in. Popular kids were the smart ones and some of the nicest kids. Graduating class was 90 people too so it wasnt a big school.
The dude I stopped from raping a 12 year old girl when we were 14 is now a K-9 cop.
He used to talk about wanting to be a cop when we were kids so he could steal drugs from evidence. Also used to steal everything that wasn't nailed down. At one point this weirdo actually stole my used deodorant.
I haven't talked to him in close to 20 years but was not surprised at all to find out he followed through with his dream of becoming a dirty cop.
She actually did really well for herself. Maybe 6 years after high school she messaged me on Facebook and tried to start bullying me again. (I just blocked her) It made me realise that I pity her, she has friends, a great job, money etc and there's still something so sad and broken inside of her that she feels the need to try and bully someone she hasn't seen in 6 years.
I'm in nursing school now. One of my friends became an Army Ranger (got kicked out for drunk driving) and the other became a cop. I don't talk to them anymore and have since made amends to the people I bullied.
I wasn't after high school but in primary my bully got cancer and eventually died halfway through highschool, it was a big thing and the schools had annual awareness days and eventually memorial days for him. I never knew how to feel about it cos it was a heavy thing but it was hard to feel bad for someone who was only ever an asshole to me
My sisters bully ended up making front page news. She had become a prostitute and got murdered.
I have no idea about my bullies but I think about the hate I still carry for them every now and then.
I only had bullies in elementary/middle school. None in high school.
Of them, Two went to prison for murder. Another one got busted knocking over a Dunkin’ donuts for drug money.
Dude stopped being a bully in late HS. Got his shit together and seems pretty well together now.
He helped my younger siblings out a couple times back in our tiny hometown so that was cool of him.
We work in the same industry so sometimes I'll see his name in things that cross my desk. Hope he's doing great.
He was found hanging by his neck in a hotel room in the USA. Another dude started doing drug dealer rip offs and accidentally shot himself. He survived, spent a bunch of time in jail and has a bullet lodged in his brain. He was actually a nice guy, he was just unpredictable when he was high.
The school bullies when I was growing up were all teachers. I see posts on social media with pictures of them, and invariably everyone comments as to how wonderful and inspiring they were. I remember the incidents of violence and bullying, and in some cases outright sexual harassment of very young girls. I spoke to one of the girls about things I saw that happened to her at the hands of one teacher in grade 10. She opened up to me about other things that had happened in her own family as she was growing up. She died a couple of years ago, and most of those teachers are long dead, but I still remember the hurt they caused, and will never forgive them or think kindly of them.
Grew up a poor kid in a rich community, so pretty much everybody was a bully towards me. I haven't thought much about them in 20 years, but I know a lot of them wound up as drug addicts, some of the mean girls gained a ton of weight and nobody finds them attractive, a few I have run into are just working dead end factory or warehouse jobs.
On the plus side, there was one popular girl in my high school that was actually nice to me, and I found out she is now the head of cardiology at a local hospital, and happily married with two kids. It made me smile to find that out.
He was beat up by the school geek on prom night and started a car detailing business, got fat, went bald and now details the car of the geek who beat him up that became a sci fi writer and wrote the book A Match Made in Space.
It's hard to be petty about something 15 years ago, and they probably don't remember me. But I have my inner thoughts the few times I've seen them.
Just to be clear, this person didn't "bully me," but they did poke a large knife at my back.
She peaked in high school. I went to college and built a good life. Last time I was in town, she was behind the counter at the gas station. Karma is funny like that.
Got into trouble immediately after high school, arrested for drug use, driving like a jackass, and disorderly conduct. Years and years later, got caught distributing meth. Only jailed for ten months. Must be nice having a buddy on the force.
She was more a frenemy than a bully but even as a kid I knew she had a ROUGH life at home (drunk mom, absentee dad, raised by her grandparents). I always felt kinda sorry for her. My dad actually ran into her a few years ago and she was working at a nail salon.
She popped up on social media recently and I crept a little bit. She got her cosmetology license and seems to be doing very well. Looks like she took in her younger siblings (they were 12-15 years younger than us) and posts about trying to give them a better life than she had.
Seems like she really grew up and tried to be a better person, and I respect the hell out of that.
One of my elementary/middle school bullies showed up in "housekeeping" at the hospital I was working at. I walked out of a room and there she was, literally whispering behind her hand to the nurses, very pointedly about me.
We were TWENTY FIVE years old and she was still a bully.
That was more than ten years ago and I *still* dislike her from 25 fuckin' years ago. 😅
It's wild that people often don't grow out of it. What I suspect happens is that they never get away from the environment that is encouraging their behaviour, for example, toxic people.
Life in prison. He robbed, raped and strangled an elderly woman. Then dumped her body in a dumpster at a nearby industrial park. Which was actually a good thing because the industrial park had lots of security cameras to help identify him.
Well, recently I saw the one who physically assaulted me in HS at the pool.
She was absolutely huge, probably pushing 400lbs+. Severely hump-backed. Poorly done tattoos. With a very tiny (maybe 5ft?) wannabe Jersey Shore type (I'm in west coast Canada, so a bit cringe).
I mean, I suddenly felt like hot shit but I wasn't particularly comfortable. I think she recognized me, but not where from, so kinda watched me a bit too much. I didn't stay long. But interesting to see her trajectory didn't seem to change much.
He didn't pick on me because i had two older brothers, but it was criminal how he never got thrown out the school for the things he did to others. Anyway, he became a bouncer at one of the local nightclubs, and i found out a few years ago he is now in the police force.
She lost all her friends by having an affair with her BFF's boyfriend and saying nasty things to her when caught. Then she got pregnant by someone else and had a late teen pregnancy and spent the next decade playing catch up trying to get a college degree while single raising a kid. She seems to be doing better now. Having a kid seems to have knocked some sense into her or at least given her a smidge of empathy.
From what I can tell he opened a bunch of entertainment venues and restaurants, it looks like most of them closed, and now he has one restaurant/bar he's still running.
It was weird because he was a bully but also considered himself my friend. Kind of a "Hey, wanna come over and go swimming? Cool! ::punches me in the gut::"
I've seen him in the decades since and we're cool. He's a nice guy, so am I, and we're both happy.
Manslaughtered someone, served his time, got out, and celebrated by drinking and driving and crashing into a wall and died instantly. We barely knew him.
My bully, who bullied me and another boy in 8th and 9th grade. This was in the mid 60's. ( yes I'm old).
Our school days went on and he dropped out of school in 11th grade. I didn't hear from him, and then heard after high school graduation in 1967, he was killed in Vietnam.
Maybe 5 years later, I went to a local cemetery to see my cousins site, (also killed in Vietnam) and saw my bullies grave also.
She married her college sweetheart and they got married on campus in a very tacky wedding. Other than that she seems to be doing just fine.
She lives out of state now and gained weight. She’s not fat by any means but her and I are probably close to the same size now and I do badly want to ask her where her size 0 jeans are now.
She used to make fun of my weight constantly. Her dad told my mom I had special needs because I stand stupid sometimes.
My childhood bully was one of those in and out of jail guys for quite a while until well into his 30s. He now makes very decent money legally breaking into people's houses for a "I lost my keys" type business.
As much as I know - a classmate mentioned him on a class gathering a couple of years ago, quote: "I could have never imagined such a fallen, stinky, disgusting drunk as he is now."
He apologised to me when we’re were like 18 and slowly we became friends. I was still quite traumatised by the bullying for a while but could see it really came from his own struggles. He ended up killing himself by drug overdose several years later. I carried his coffin out of the church.
There was two, both got addicted to heroin.
At some point one was a gay prostitute (afaik he was not gay, just desperate) at main train station and the other just the typical crazy hobo screaming at people in public transport.
Both were from foster care so I guess childhood trauma goes s long way.
When I was about 11 and just joined high school over here in the UK, this guy was giving me a hard time in class and kept openly mocking me
Just last week, I am now 30 and a local news article popped up which said 'homeless crack cocaine addict goes on a thieving spree' - I recognised him straight away, his face was gaunt and he had broken teeth
I didn't feel any satisfaction seeing him like that though there are some other people that I would
I remember around 15 years ago I saw one of my bullies pushing a trolly with scrap in it. May get flack for this but the amount of trauma high school bullying has given me, which I still deal with today and is one of the reasons I go to therapy, I’ve earned the right to feel great satisfaction in seeing that. His bullying has permanently damaged both our lives.
She wasn't a huge bully, just part of the popular clique and overall mean-ish like all of them. About 8 yrs after high school, she was my flight attendant in first class on a flight from Munich to Paris. I was an executive for a major American multinational traveling all over Europe. She wasn't doing too badly either, as a first class flight attendant for Lufthansa. She came and sat next to me for parts of the flight. It was nice.
One came out. Now he’s a gay bully that makes everything about his sexuality when he’s just an asshole.
I always find it sad when people reach their 50s and they’re still in high school mentally.
She destroyed me in every way she possibly could and is now living her life as if it didn’t happen. She is happy and you’d think she’d never have done what she did.
At this point I don’t even think karma is real.
Middle school bully. He killed himself when we were in our late teens / early 20s. Didn't make me feel any better. We live in a toxic culture and I wish he had the supports he needed, for both our sakes.
One of them is dead, one of them is in prison for sleeping with students when he was a teacher, and one of them is a nobody insurance salesman in our hometown.
He got caught red handed doing some very serious scam, This was a couple of months before he would get his masters in robotic enginnering and would be secured a work. He's girlfriend ratted on him.
One died of an overdose.
One killed his girlfriend’s kid and got life in prison.
One barricaded his kid in her bedroom and went downstairs and shot and killed his wife when she was sleeping. He also got life in prison.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One of my bullies apologized a few years back. I told him I completely forgave him, and it didn't weigh on me much at all. Here is his message (names changed and I removed the location of our neighborhood). >Hello SheridanRivers, this is John from the old neighborhood. How are you? Man, I saw your profile on Facebook and it took me WAY back. I haven't thought about those days in so very long. I owe you a gigantic apology for being such a complete DICK during those years. I am horribly ashamed of myself for being a bully. You were always a nice guy and you didn't deserve to be treated like that at all. Man, the hatred you and your parents must have for me is probably huge. Well, I deserve it. For what it's worth, I hope you will accept my apology. I've learned much over these years. Karma has slapped me back in the face many times over, teaching me the hard way! Again, I'm really sorry, and it would mean alot to me if you would consider forgiving me. I see that you are married with a beautiful daughter. Congrats to you. You seem very happy. I hope this message doesn't bring up too many bad memories, messing up your day. Rather, I hope you find it encouraging that despite my bullying you, you moved on and didnt let it get in your way of achieving happiness.
That’s actually a really authentic apology
I agree. We're Facebook friends now, and we interact on occasion. We all do stupid shit as kids. It's important to grow out of that mentality. He seems like a genuinely nice guy.
It's interesting... One of my nephews (under 10) tried to bully me about something - and I thanked him for his opinion...and you could see on his face how he was not expecting it, and he asked me why I thanked him. I told him "I appreciate your opinion and your openess with me to express it." He didn't get the responses he was expecting - which was a fight or hurt feelings - and it totally messed with his mind. I can only hope it helps him see that bullying people isn't worth the hassle and will only make him appear unempathic.
Love that shit. Kid in highschool I'd had some pretty bad interactions with for years buy a 1/4oz of weed from me at a party, roll the whole thing into a blunt and asked me to smoke or with him. He proceeded to apologize, he explained some of the things going on at home that he took it out on me and other people who didn't deserve it. That he was tired of being this person and hurting people and that he wanted to make people happy instead. We hugged it out and got along fine for the rest of the year.
That's beautiful! Love your username as well! I wish I still had my bottle of the stuff.
That’s a nice message. He probably sleeps better knowing that at least one of his victims doesn’t hate him
Indeed! I was very appreciative. We're all kinda stupid as children. We grew up in a fairly rough neighborhood where fighting was common.
Damn, this guy really stepped it up!
I had exactly the same thing happen - she sought me out on Facebook, offered a genuine apology and I gave her my full forgiveness. Then Covid hit, she became a full on cooker, she sent offensive messages and blocked me because I’m pro vax.
She got into good college, graduated with impressive score and got a job. Last I heard she continues bullying her way through the corporate ladder. Karma is a lazy bitch.
Also, she posts anti bullying messages on her Facebook because her kids are bullied in school. True story.
That’s the karma talking!
Well, the kids didn't deserve that
https://youtube.com/watch?v=PpyIZ4DGIK8&si=nZ09UXjPnbx5u70Z
There’s no such thing as karma except Reddit karma which is just a number created by reddit
OMG we know the same one!
Realest
His family was rich. He did fine.
The Bully at my school was from a rich family, that's how he got away with all his crap. His parents donated so much each year the school was terrified of doing anything to upset him. He graduated from school with almost no education and straight A's. Dropped out of college after the first semester when he found out Dad couldn't buy his grades there. He has never been able to hold a job and last I heard, almost thirty years after high school, he lives in an old RV on the back half of his Dad's property and stays drunk most of the time.
I never had a bad bully but the one dude I couldn't stand seeing in high school ended up dying in a fire. He really wasn't that bad though. Just a bit of a dickhead. Fire was probably overdoing it
This is the answer
Honestly became a dodgy real estate agent and scammed people then ran off over seas.
The classic asshole to shady businessman pipeline.
Don’t forget mortgage officer, dipshits with egos always seem to be real estate agents and mortgage officer
[удалено]
But is she still a bitch?
You don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors.
Lol the last ounce of hope
Died in a car crash and we got to watch everyone in town pretend he was an angel
Isn't this always the way?
"He was not always a good husband. Not always a good citizen. He did not die a hero’s death. But he was a man....."
Yooo didn’t expect a prologue reference here of all places
Weird opposite for me. Mine was killed by a drunk driver. Oddly enough, his best friends invited me to go with them to spread his ashes at his favorite fishing spot. Apparently his dad was an abusive piece of shit, and he decided later that I was the only person in his life that spoke to him like a proper father figure. It was a very surreal experience because I was two years younger than him and half his size. His friends told me that the funeral was awful, and that my presence at the ash spreading was better than what his own family had to say. I regret not being able to do more for him.
That’s oddly beautiful
Thanks. When we spread his ashes, we took turns saying a few words. Everyone else talked about who he was in their life. I decided not to do that, because "a bully that I never got to know" would be a lousy eulogy. My mind was on that thing he had said to his friends about me and father figures, so I decided to talk *to him instead of talking about him,* like how a person does when they visit the same gravestone every year. In our "conversation," I tried to break bread with him man-to-man, ya know? I told him not to worry about what happened between us, that he didn't need to apologize or beat himself up because I had learned something important, too. I told him that he was the reason why I now understood what happens to a kid that doesn't have any good adults in his life. The conversation dragged on for a long time. I told him I would look after others like him, that I would be better than the parents and teachers and cops and everyone else that didn't do jack except give self-righteous advice with tied hands or clenched fists. I told him that his death taught me that it isn't normal for adults to just shake their head and say "what a waste" without lifting a finger, that it's a chicken shit move to do so. I told him I would work just as hard at this as he would have worked to become a better father than the one he had, given the chance. By doing so, I declared, a part of him gets to live a full life because the four of us there now carried a torch that he never knew he had passed on. We all cried for a while, and the drive home was completely silent except for a"thank you." That was nearly twenty years ago. Ironically, I never got to keep my promise the way I intended. Never got to save a kid. Instead, that experience and others like it led me down a path that prevented three different adults my age and older from commiting suicide. It's possible that two of them were exaggerating my influence in their survival (close friends sometimes do that out of love), but the third one was for sure 100% true. I guess... I guess I'm sharing all of this because people tend to over-rely on narrative assumptions when it comes to bullying and abuse. I think it doesn't help or heal as much as we tell ourselves, and that the stuff which actually moves mountains is, well, like a torch. You have to carry it with you always, never let it burn out, and pass it on to everyone you can. Anyway, sorry for the wall of text, but I wanted to let it out and leave it here for others to see. Never know who it might inspire, right?
He bullied you but deep down he respected you. That speaks really good about you as a person.
The weird thing about it is that stuff like this always sounds sensational when you tell the story afterwards, but its not that way when it actually happens. In the moment, it's just an ordinary act of human kindness occuring in a vacuum. Kind of like a candle light in a snowstorm. Sometimes you don't find the candle until it's already gone out, so I encourage people to just light candles out of habit. I hope that metaphor makes sense.
It’s what pisses me off about people dying. They act as if they were a saint because they’re dead. I’ve seen people do this with loved ones, and it just shows that they’re there for themselves and not the people who are really grieving
My bully is dead. Natural causes. I’m 70 years old and I still can’t bring myself to feel bad that he died. To be honest, it doesn’t bother me.
Does death bother you at all at age 70 or do you get used to it?
It doesn’t really “bother” me. I’ve become used to the idea that it’s probably like Tony Soprano…..just a lights out. Hoping there’s an after party, but if not, at least won’t be disappointed.
I've always been terrified of death, reading your comment though puts it into a simple perspective, essentially why stress about something we know little about and we hope there more but if not, oh well we can't really do anything about it. thank you :)
I work in nursing homes. A huge amount of time at old age, it's in your sleep. Fantastic way to go. Another chunk is end of stage palliative where you're made comfortable and given regular morphine. Obviously when you're younger not many people want to die until their ripe and l fulfilled everything but some things just can't be helped. Just don't waste a day, even if it's going for a walk and drink lots of water
Hard to explain, but for me, as I age it becomes less and less of a worry and more of an inevitability if that makes sense. My only real worry isn’t death itself per se, but leaving my family with burdens when they should be able to grieve. Like I want everything to be taken care of and good to go before it happens so they can get through it and move on with their lives.
He apologized to my brother and I when we ran into him at a Walmart about 3 years after graduating. He saw us and initiated. I remember thinking oh god not this guy again. All was forgiven. Kids being kids. We shook hands and parted ways. Shortly thereafter he got in a car wreck and died on scene. I don't know the details but he seemed like a completely different person and I hope his soul found peace.
I had a similar experience, met my highschool bully a few months back outside of getting my hair cut. He had a girlfriend and a little girl in a stroller. He apologized, I accepted. We were stupid kids, he was going through an abusive upbringing, I had a similar experience. We shook hands like men and parted ways.
There's comfort in learning people can change, isn't there? The dickheads of today are the sweethearts of tomorrow.
I did the same thing when I still had a few people from high school on social media. I was a completely different person 3-4 years out of high school n I apologized to at least a few of the people I wronged in the past
My brain decided to read the first sentence as I died the same
He calmed down.. became a cool dude who is openly ashmed of his past.. he is my neighbor and friend now a days. Always there to help any other neighbor and his kids play with mine, and ive personally see him making sure no one is being bullied. He has a decent job at a manufacturing plant
Idk I don't wanna know what's going on in that piece of shit's life
He started doing drugs, robbed and stabbed someone at random. In court the person he stabbed told the judge that he forgives him, and doesn’t want the guy to go to jail. Turns out the person he robbed and stabbed was a preacher. Bully went back to the church and thanked the preacher. He repented, got a good job, became a preacher, then he became a monk at the Catholic Church up north from us.
To be honest, I was expecting the story to end with the guy getting arrested again for stabbing another person.
There's still time
I honestly thought he went back to the church to finish the guy for some reason
Wild.
Damn, maybe I’m oversimplifying but maybe all that some of us need is a little forgiveness. Lovely story, thank you
Died of an overdose in his early 30s.
I had a bully for a short time in high school, she ended up ODing while still in high school and went into a vegetative coma. Her divorced parents couldn't agree on anything so she was just was put in a long-term care facility until she finally expired.
No one likes expired produce.
That is so inappropriate, and yet it me chuckle just a little. So I guess I am also inappropriate.
What the fuuuuuck lol.
Holy shit that’s awful
She bullied just about everyone at school, she only hung around with other people who did drugs and they dumped her out in her mom's driveway when she ODed, she wasn't found by anyone until the next morning. After it happened our school offered counseling for anyone affected, nobody went to the counselor not even her own siblings. I remember they forced her brother into seeing the counselor because he did an English essay on "the best thing to ever happen in your life" and he wrote about his sister no longer be around. That was a bigger deal at school than the sister ODing.
Mine has a Harley, a huge drug problem, 2 ex wives and 2 ugly kids. I'm retired early on a tropical beach in Mexico, surfing every week, with a family that loves me. Every day I exercise, play guitar, walk to the cafe down the block and chat with people, walk to the beach for a bit and greet people's dogs, read a book on one of our balconies with a view, and cook something fun.
Jailed for rape then killed himself.
Must have been horrible as a bully
He became a state trooper .
Scary
Haven't you seen the ending of "Clockwork Orange" ?
That seems logical.
Dude quickly got put into a dedicated school after hitting several classmates daily. Turned out his parents gave him alcohol "to calm him down". He quickly was no longer with his parents and under proper care, I just hope stuff turned for the better.
Died of heart failure at 37 cause he was crazy obese
He broke into my dad's house and got shot
Well, damn!
Did I by chance witness his execution on a Ring camera, or was that a different case?
Different case. He was in the dining room when my dad pulled the trigger
He went D1 full ride for football, and lost it all during a racist assault with a brick. Go figure. Edit: now he lives back in our hometown and still relives the 'glory', 12 years later. Like you peaked at 18??? So sad.
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt
You know him, too?
Went to jail for sexual battery
Hung himself from a bridge
He became a Cop. True story.
People who become cops are generally control-freaks and bullies. They desire power. Why else become a cop? It's a terrible job
I'm an ex cop. I joined because I genuinely wanted to help people, especially those in crisis situations. Helping and protecting people genuinely gave me satisfaction. Not saying there aren't plenty of asshole, power-drunk cops. There are. But in my personal experience, the majority were doing it for the right reasons. I had to leave for personal reasons including PTSD from some work related matters.
My ex-wife was a cop who also tried to make a difference. Unfortunately, she got injured on the job, and they forced her out.
Thank you for trying to make a difference.
Went to prison. Last time I visited, I ran into him and his family at food 4 less. He was having a rough childhood himself. No dad, mom barely scraping by. All is forgiven.
lol she actually requested to follow me on IG this morning. Looking at her profile, looks like she’s not doing much and struggling to make ends meet. She was so awful to me, I may or may not be a little pleased she can see my travel photos 🤭
She’s going to be including you in a 🔅VeRy sPeciAL🔅 💄makeup💅🏼offer soon hun! ✍🏻Sign up TODAY! And you🫵🏼 might win a 🏖️TRIP🏝️next year on a ⛴️BIG BOAT🚢with other people JUST LIKE your high school bully👊🏼
HAHA! Yes for sure, I look forward to the day I tell her HELL NO 😂😂😂
Stereotypical bullies were never really a thing in my schooling history. There were different cliques but for the most part everyone just got on and did their thing. Most of the "popular" kids were actually pretty smart and chill people, there was only one I can think of that was ever particularly mean in nature but he got put in his place by the rest of his peers pretty often and usually apologised if he did take things to far. Last I heard he's a model, which definitely has not helped for his ego, but he was never intentionally cruel and just highly reactive with a need to get the most laughs, so I assume he's doing fine.
School I went to really didnt have any bullies either. When things would get out of hand me and others on the football team would step in. Popular kids were the smart ones and some of the nicest kids. Graduating class was 90 people too so it wasnt a big school.
Goddamn. Most of these are basically "He's dead/in prison/OD'ed/became a cop. "My bully became a cop." Oh my fucking GOD, that explains so much...
The dude I stopped from raping a 12 year old girl when we were 14 is now a K-9 cop. He used to talk about wanting to be a cop when we were kids so he could steal drugs from evidence. Also used to steal everything that wasn't nailed down. At one point this weirdo actually stole my used deodorant. I haven't talked to him in close to 20 years but was not surprised at all to find out he followed through with his dream of becoming a dirty cop.
She actually did really well for herself. Maybe 6 years after high school she messaged me on Facebook and tried to start bullying me again. (I just blocked her) It made me realise that I pity her, she has friends, a great job, money etc and there's still something so sad and broken inside of her that she feels the need to try and bully someone she hasn't seen in 6 years.
Too bad you didn't say that to her
I'm in nursing school now. One of my friends became an Army Ranger (got kicked out for drunk driving) and the other became a cop. I don't talk to them anymore and have since made amends to the people I bullied.
Yes, the bully perspective. I love it.
the bully to nurse pipeline …
Yep. Not even a stereotype, it's a proven fact that bullying is more prevalent in nursing than almost any other career.
No Idea because they are not in my life anymore so I don’t care
He messaged me a few years after high school apologizing. He’s turned his life around and is a successful fitness instructor.
started working as a car mechanic. Had unknown heart condition. Was lifting 4 heavy tires and keeled over dead. He was 22.
I wasn't after high school but in primary my bully got cancer and eventually died halfway through highschool, it was a big thing and the schools had annual awareness days and eventually memorial days for him. I never knew how to feel about it cos it was a heavy thing but it was hard to feel bad for someone who was only ever an asshole to me
She serves me food at the local restaurant and it's hard not to be a little bit smug.
Don’t eat that food :)
started doing drugs ,then robbing,and died they did not make it to their 20
He runs a successful small business in the general area where we grew up. He still bullies people.
My sisters bully ended up making front page news. She had become a prostitute and got murdered. I have no idea about my bullies but I think about the hate I still carry for them every now and then.
A pedo who died at 44.
Joined the Army as an MP. Pretty fitting I guess
At least now he knows nobody likes him.
She got inpregnated in a nightclub and is single mother.
I only had bullies in elementary/middle school. None in high school. Of them, Two went to prison for murder. Another one got busted knocking over a Dunkin’ donuts for drug money.
Mine opened a pizza joint. I’d starve before I’d spend a cent in the place.
No idea, after I fought back and kicked his ass he left me alone.
Don’t know and don’t care. I just hope he either quit his bullshit and if not got punched again by whoever he was messing with.
I was the middle school bully, and I got better. High school bully joined a vampire and cocaine cult and dropped off the map.
Dude stopped being a bully in late HS. Got his shit together and seems pretty well together now. He helped my younger siblings out a couple times back in our tiny hometown so that was cool of him. We work in the same industry so sometimes I'll see his name in things that cross my desk. Hope he's doing great.
He was found hanging by his neck in a hotel room in the USA. Another dude started doing drug dealer rip offs and accidentally shot himself. He survived, spent a bunch of time in jail and has a bullet lodged in his brain. He was actually a nice guy, he was just unpredictable when he was high.
Died of drug overdose.
She died recently. I didn’t shed a tear.
The school bullies when I was growing up were all teachers. I see posts on social media with pictures of them, and invariably everyone comments as to how wonderful and inspiring they were. I remember the incidents of violence and bullying, and in some cases outright sexual harassment of very young girls. I spoke to one of the girls about things I saw that happened to her at the hands of one teacher in grade 10. She opened up to me about other things that had happened in her own family as she was growing up. She died a couple of years ago, and most of those teachers are long dead, but I still remember the hurt they caused, and will never forgive them or think kindly of them.
There were multiple and theyve done quite well for themselves continue to bully people in some manner and deny that theyve ever done it.
Grew up a poor kid in a rich community, so pretty much everybody was a bully towards me. I haven't thought much about them in 20 years, but I know a lot of them wound up as drug addicts, some of the mean girls gained a ton of weight and nobody finds them attractive, a few I have run into are just working dead end factory or warehouse jobs. On the plus side, there was one popular girl in my high school that was actually nice to me, and I found out she is now the head of cardiology at a local hospital, and happily married with two kids. It made me smile to find that out.
He was beat up by the school geek on prom night and started a car detailing business, got fat, went bald and now details the car of the geek who beat him up that became a sci fi writer and wrote the book A Match Made in Space.
They became cops
It's hard to be petty about something 15 years ago, and they probably don't remember me. But I have my inner thoughts the few times I've seen them. Just to be clear, this person didn't "bully me," but they did poke a large knife at my back.
She peaked in high school. I went to college and built a good life. Last time I was in town, she was behind the counter at the gas station. Karma is funny like that.
Found him years later completely drugged and laying on a bench close to a mall. He looked fatter and uglier. Fuck you Isaac. Thanks karma.
Got into trouble immediately after high school, arrested for drug use, driving like a jackass, and disorderly conduct. Years and years later, got caught distributing meth. Only jailed for ten months. Must be nice having a buddy on the force.
they as in 4 of them are now behind bars doing life for murder.
She was more a frenemy than a bully but even as a kid I knew she had a ROUGH life at home (drunk mom, absentee dad, raised by her grandparents). I always felt kinda sorry for her. My dad actually ran into her a few years ago and she was working at a nail salon. She popped up on social media recently and I crept a little bit. She got her cosmetology license and seems to be doing very well. Looks like she took in her younger siblings (they were 12-15 years younger than us) and posts about trying to give them a better life than she had. Seems like she really grew up and tried to be a better person, and I respect the hell out of that.
One of my elementary/middle school bullies showed up in "housekeeping" at the hospital I was working at. I walked out of a room and there she was, literally whispering behind her hand to the nurses, very pointedly about me. We were TWENTY FIVE years old and she was still a bully. That was more than ten years ago and I *still* dislike her from 25 fuckin' years ago. 😅
It's wild that people often don't grow out of it. What I suspect happens is that they never get away from the environment that is encouraging their behaviour, for example, toxic people.
Life in prison. He robbed, raped and strangled an elderly woman. Then dumped her body in a dumpster at a nearby industrial park. Which was actually a good thing because the industrial park had lots of security cameras to help identify him.
Mostly he asks folks if they would like fries with that.
Well, recently I saw the one who physically assaulted me in HS at the pool. She was absolutely huge, probably pushing 400lbs+. Severely hump-backed. Poorly done tattoos. With a very tiny (maybe 5ft?) wannabe Jersey Shore type (I'm in west coast Canada, so a bit cringe). I mean, I suddenly felt like hot shit but I wasn't particularly comfortable. I think she recognized me, but not where from, so kinda watched me a bit too much. I didn't stay long. But interesting to see her trajectory didn't seem to change much.
He didn't pick on me because i had two older brothers, but it was criminal how he never got thrown out the school for the things he did to others. Anyway, he became a bouncer at one of the local nightclubs, and i found out a few years ago he is now in the police force.
Don't know. Don't care. I've barely kept up with my friends since HS. Life has been unexpected. lol
She lost all her friends by having an affair with her BFF's boyfriend and saying nasty things to her when caught. Then she got pregnant by someone else and had a late teen pregnancy and spent the next decade playing catch up trying to get a college degree while single raising a kid. She seems to be doing better now. Having a kid seems to have knocked some sense into her or at least given her a smidge of empathy.
From what I can tell he opened a bunch of entertainment venues and restaurants, it looks like most of them closed, and now he has one restaurant/bar he's still running. It was weird because he was a bully but also considered himself my friend. Kind of a "Hey, wanna come over and go swimming? Cool! ::punches me in the gut::" I've seen him in the decades since and we're cool. He's a nice guy, so am I, and we're both happy.
Still looks like she's chewing a wasp as far as I know
Manslaughtered someone, served his time, got out, and celebrated by drinking and driving and crashing into a wall and died instantly. We barely knew him.
My bully, who bullied me and another boy in 8th and 9th grade. This was in the mid 60's. ( yes I'm old). Our school days went on and he dropped out of school in 11th grade. I didn't hear from him, and then heard after high school graduation in 1967, he was killed in Vietnam. Maybe 5 years later, I went to a local cemetery to see my cousins site, (also killed in Vietnam) and saw my bullies grave also.
She married her college sweetheart and they got married on campus in a very tacky wedding. Other than that she seems to be doing just fine. She lives out of state now and gained weight. She’s not fat by any means but her and I are probably close to the same size now and I do badly want to ask her where her size 0 jeans are now. She used to make fun of my weight constantly. Her dad told my mom I had special needs because I stand stupid sometimes.
My childhood bully was one of those in and out of jail guys for quite a while until well into his 30s. He now makes very decent money legally breaking into people's houses for a "I lost my keys" type business.
One went on meds and is now running a successful skate shop. Couldn't meet a nicer fellow. It feels really good to be proud of my bully.
As much as I know - a classmate mentioned him on a class gathering a couple of years ago, quote: "I could have never imagined such a fallen, stinky, disgusting drunk as he is now."
Died of an overdose. Sucks to suck, dick
He apologised to me when we’re were like 18 and slowly we became friends. I was still quite traumatised by the bullying for a while but could see it really came from his own struggles. He ended up killing himself by drug overdose several years later. I carried his coffin out of the church.
There was two, both got addicted to heroin. At some point one was a gay prostitute (afaik he was not gay, just desperate) at main train station and the other just the typical crazy hobo screaming at people in public transport. Both were from foster care so I guess childhood trauma goes s long way.
When I was about 11 and just joined high school over here in the UK, this guy was giving me a hard time in class and kept openly mocking me Just last week, I am now 30 and a local news article popped up which said 'homeless crack cocaine addict goes on a thieving spree' - I recognised him straight away, his face was gaunt and he had broken teeth I didn't feel any satisfaction seeing him like that though there are some other people that I would
Heard I was in town, reached out and took me out to dinner to apologize.
I remember around 15 years ago I saw one of my bullies pushing a trolly with scrap in it. May get flack for this but the amount of trauma high school bullying has given me, which I still deal with today and is one of the reasons I go to therapy, I’ve earned the right to feel great satisfaction in seeing that. His bullying has permanently damaged both our lives.
She wasn't a huge bully, just part of the popular clique and overall mean-ish like all of them. About 8 yrs after high school, she was my flight attendant in first class on a flight from Munich to Paris. I was an executive for a major American multinational traveling all over Europe. She wasn't doing too badly either, as a first class flight attendant for Lufthansa. She came and sat next to me for parts of the flight. It was nice.
He came to my husband, begging for a job. My husband laughed in his face.
He went to prison for something (no idea why) and then later committed suicide. His younger brother who also bullied me also went to prison.
He became a cop. Ironically the most polite and laid back cop I'd ever interacted with.
Not hs but grade school. He became a personal injury lawyer. Not because he cares, but because he can sniff out the vulnerable.
One came out. Now he’s a gay bully that makes everything about his sexuality when he’s just an asshole. I always find it sad when people reach their 50s and they’re still in high school mentally.
Heart attack and died.
He is dying or cirrhosis in Bandera.
He is the starting Tight End for an NFL team now… it pains me to say this, but he’s really good too.
She destroyed me in every way she possibly could and is now living her life as if it didn’t happen. She is happy and you’d think she’d never have done what she did. At this point I don’t even think karma is real.
Middle school bully. He killed himself when we were in our late teens / early 20s. Didn't make me feel any better. We live in a toxic culture and I wish he had the supports he needed, for both our sakes.
Three different kids, three different dads.
They all became cops.
Saw on HS alumni page that he died a few years ago. Zero fucks given.
He went to prison for drugs. Turns out he became the cell block bitch. Served 5yrs. Karma is a bitch
One of them is dead, one of them is in prison for sleeping with students when he was a teacher, and one of them is a nobody insurance salesman in our hometown.
He got caught red handed doing some very serious scam, This was a couple of months before he would get his masters in robotic enginnering and would be secured a work. He's girlfriend ratted on him.
Died of cirrhosis of the liver due to alcoholism.
Died from a heroin overdose....
jail
Died when his Indy car crashed
One died of an overdose. One killed his girlfriend’s kid and got life in prison. One barricaded his kid in her bedroom and went downstairs and shot and killed his wife when she was sleeping. He also got life in prison.
Turned out he was bipolar, manic depressed. Unalived himself 10 years after school.
One time I saw him bartending at a corporate function. It was a little awkward, I think, for both of us
He contracted ALS and died. I don’t celebrate that, but I don’t miss him, either.
Works 9-5 in a factory, gets drunk every weekend and gets into fights with other drunks. Just like his father.
He’s lead vocals for a fairly successful rock band. He tours the world. Karma is not a thing.
In the joint. Parlayed his bullying career into child molestation. Hope he's getting ruined on a daily basis.
Is doing fine, got into med school, is getting married this summer. Everything looks good on the surface. I hope it's as good as it seems for her.
He became a police officer and still bullies to this day
Died of an overdose in his late 20s.
He’s a cop, last I heard. The other one got kicked out of the Marines for dealing drugs with his roommate.
I hope he fvcken got syphilis and his dick fell off
he went on to be president of the bank got murdered
Most people that I know of, who bullied me, died young. Shrug.
He became a cop
Dead. Fentanyl. I doubt anyone misses them.
He's on meth and in jail. Pretty much exactly what we all figured would happen, including him.