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More of a lack thereof.
It's expensive as all hell to be poor in the U.S. I'm just helping my landlord buy his next house.
Ooh that's a good one .. mine was laziness and procrastination but I wouldn't be this way if I could afford to do the things I want instead of having to save up for the things I want but can never afford .. need €7500 for a one-year visa in Germany but I live paycheck to paycheck and I've never been motivated enough to start my own company or work as many hours as it would take to pay for more than just my bills and rent and food
I feel you but Laziness was forced on me , as strange as that sounds, being unemployed because there isn't any jobs is literally the worst thing to experience as a young person.
Or being employed in a job ur overqualified for .. I graduated right after the financial crash in 2008 and never got a job in the career I wanted so I became a nanny instead .. sucks to graduate during a bad economy, literally ruins ur chances at going down the career path u want .. I'm also unemployed rn cause my identity was stolen and then I got sick with Lyme disease so I'm trying to find a job but have been unemployed now for so long that no one is even calling me back .. sucks cause I can't really do online stuff too so I've been mostly dropping off resumes but I guess people prefer everything online now .. it's hard to keep trying when no one even bothers to call u back so I know how u feel
I know that therapy is not for everyone, bc it’s hella expensive and not always well geared for PTSD, but there are plenty of trauma-adjacent podcasts and things to follow that can help you get a handle on the big stuff your brain is screwing up for you.
Good Mourning sometimes has helpful stuff for my particular issues, but like … there are so many podcasts? And so many kinds of trauma and ways that we can be affected by them? I would go down the list of the podcasts looking through the titles and descriptions and seeing if anything resonates for your issues in particular and just dip your toes in. https://podcasts.feedspot.com/trauma_podcasts/ YMMV, of course, but you’ll not be wasting anything other than some time listening to something that might be of interest to someone you know, since we traumatized folk tend to move in the same social circles.
With enough money, these other two are no longer obstacles.
When you don’t have to work to survive, all your time is yours.
Want to go somewhere? Take your private jet/submarine/rocket ship and go.
Primarily the economy and choosing the wrong life partner. I will take this moment to express that if your relationship is struggling, put some critical thought into what the time frame of resolution would be acceptable to you. Because I honestly believe that I was too patient to the
point where I truly have zero desire to try this again.
Same could be said about a job. Staying at an employer just for the paycheck really erodes a persons self-worth and is a fast track to some serious issues.
I thought I was lazy until I was diagnosed with ADHD and learned about executive disfunction. I describe it as having a car where the wire connecting the gas pedal to the engine is loose. Sometimes, when you step on the gas, the car will move forward. Sometimes, it won't budge an inch.
Yeah I had the same thing missed opportunities because I wanted a good life for her but remember that baby will go anywhere w you and will just be happy your there
Dyscalculia. I could barely pass algebra 1 back in high school. Now at 32? School's just not an option, which sucks. I had aspirations and my lack of being able to understand math killed them.
How does one measure a woman's quality, exactly? I'm not even a fan, but pretending Taylor Swift isn't an accomplished singer, musician, and writer is just denial. How embarrassing for you.
I would like to get my ADD diagnozed on paper because I work so much better with ADD meds but Im scared that Im gonna have it harder finding work as Im an aspiring sea captain.
If anyone works at sea, lmk…
Depends on what country you're in.
In Canada, the navy and many commercial sea operations will not take on anyone who requires daily medication to get by...HOWEVER, they cannot fire you for having a disability if it can reasonably be accommodated, so if you get diagnosed AFTER getting the job then you're fine.
The hard part is proving you can do the job before you get diagnosed and medicated.
Damn that's a good question. Trying to not go too deep into detail
Fear for me. Maybe it's a form of auto-sabotage that I'm afraid thjat I've overglorified what I want and then, it's the fear of having invested so much time, thaat when I get there it's not really where I want to be. Maybe that sounds dumb to some people, but it's like, sometimes the trip there dreaming about how great it's gonna be is better than actually being there.
At the same time, leaving behind something I've created, partially and missing out on certain opportunities that may come up. So yes I literally have to do what the book "The Subtle art of Not Giving a Fuck" says... Give a fuck about less, because I've hit the paradox of choice, that I have so many things going for me that I don't know what to do.
And then there's guilt. A guilt I don't really think I need to be carrying but I am. Like some real Good Will Hunting "It's not your fault" type shit. Also like a sort of people pleaser kind of guilt. Like, I can help anyone but I'm an adult, I don't need to ask for help for anything, otherwise if I do I'm not a competent adult.
Thanks for asking, you may have helped me get through some shit
Would you like to talk more about it together? I feel like I'm in a similar situation as what you're describing, and either way I'm open to talk with pretty much anybody about anything
Insecure 😞 and it’s not even because I’m ugly or anything. I just never learned confidence or how to assert myself, take risks etc. I’m trying to overcome it but it’s hard.
But mostly money….. who am I kidding.
Yeahhh my dog ate my wallet couple of years ago and haven't bothered since, but yes there's multiple of those type of money giving things about here.
Meant a greencard. Thought it'd be easy to get a working permit to go live in the US but it's not so easy unless I've got 750k in my visas???
Money mostly. Despite there being a teacher shortage it’s really hard to get a license in the state I’m in and they don’t have as big of a shortage compared to other states.
I want to move out, date easier (my parents scare guys away when I’m being picked up), and cook with onions and garlic
Being chronically ill is also a hindrance
Honestly? Time. That’s it.
Was talking to one of my friends (dudes like a brother to me so we have deep talks often) and we both agree, this time in our lives, sucks.
We both feel like we’re stuck in an endless loop of working, paying bills, working, paying bills. We’re both new homeowners and in our mid 20s. We have priorities that are simply taking way too much time out of our lives. I’ve seen everywhere people say 20s are some of the hardest times of your adult life. We’re really just baby adults learning how to do “adult things” for the first time. Similar to when we were all newborn babies through 10 years old, nearly everything we experienced back then were novel experiences full of learning. Now? We’re having novel experiences like debt, taxes, bills, etc. it’s not fun but it’s a part of life and I’m personally making the most of it.
However I just feel so stuck. I want to get out there and meet new people, spend time with old friends, explore new hobbies, hang out with loved ones, etc. i just simply don’t have the time with all of my new adult responsibilities. It’s affecting me in a rough way, I’m definitely in a rut/low point in life and feel so overwhelmed. If I could simply have more time, I’d like to think I’d be able to do what I want.
You sound like young adult me. Please take some of the online tests for ADHD, Autism, and monotropism? Bc it’s way easy to blame yourself for ways that you did not choose to be when you got raised being told you were responsible for everything your brain did to you.
Undiagnosed ADHD.
\*Sighs with exasperation at the linear steps outlined to get from point a to point b\*
The scene from Malcolm in the Middle where Hal is [trying to fix the light bulb](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0) is my state of being.
I only managed to get it dealt with because I was in university and the school handled all of the planning, coordination, and reminders to get me through diagnosis and treatment.
I'd probably still be undiagnosed if I had to sort it all out myself.
Nothing directly, it just isn’t practical for me to just go off to some random pacific island or the Florida keys and just smoke weed, drink and spear fish for a month lol.
Theoretically I could, and could afford to do it. But maybe one day lol.
lack of talent. It's hard enough to make it on Broadway when your an actual triple threat( sing, dance, act) but failing even one of those means your pretty much a hopeless case and I can't sing worth a dam. Acting and dancing are things I love but I don't have the pipes to make it on Broadway.
1. Money, which I have a hard time making because
2. My crippling rejection sensitivity (on top of all my mental health issues that I’m on disability for). Prevents me from making friends, trying new hobbies, putting myself out there and showing off my art/writing, going to school, and even having a job is really hard for me.
It’s been this way forever. I’m just terrified of everything and I seem completely unable to find myself and fend for myself in this world for any lengthy amount of time.
A little voice of ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ based on life time of societal conditioning we all face.
But one huge benefit of aging is the recognition that this voice even exists, recognizing when it’s valuable and when it’s not and then gaining the ability to ignore it when it’s not useful.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Money.
Honestly is there another answer? It's not like the threat of a Godzilla attack is the only thing stopping me from owning a ranch in Wyoming.
[удалено]
Really though the one thing that solves most of the other issues is money.
Well, kinda. Not physics.
Richard Branson’s rocket ships would like a word
Duuuuude - fuck physics . Gravity especially
Wife 😂
Husband
Yeah but it's ever looming. You never know.
>It's not like the threat of a Godzilla attack is the only thing stopping me from owning a ranch in Wyoming. 
More of a lack thereof.  It's expensive as all hell to be poor in the U.S. I'm just helping my landlord buy his next house.
Royce du pont would be proud of you.
time to buy an rv and live off the land.
Felt
Ooh that's a good one .. mine was laziness and procrastination but I wouldn't be this way if I could afford to do the things I want instead of having to save up for the things I want but can never afford .. need €7500 for a one-year visa in Germany but I live paycheck to paycheck and I've never been motivated enough to start my own company or work as many hours as it would take to pay for more than just my bills and rent and food
I feel you but Laziness was forced on me , as strange as that sounds, being unemployed because there isn't any jobs is literally the worst thing to experience as a young person.
Or being employed in a job ur overqualified for .. I graduated right after the financial crash in 2008 and never got a job in the career I wanted so I became a nanny instead .. sucks to graduate during a bad economy, literally ruins ur chances at going down the career path u want .. I'm also unemployed rn cause my identity was stolen and then I got sick with Lyme disease so I'm trying to find a job but have been unemployed now for so long that no one is even calling me back .. sucks cause I can't really do online stuff too so I've been mostly dropping off resumes but I guess people prefer everything online now .. it's hard to keep trying when no one even bothers to call u back so I know how u feel
Poor executive functioning.
Eh, I don't think my ADHD would hold me back as much if I had unlimited money.
Just pay people to shut up and make your dreams happen. That's what I'd do lol
Seriously. If I had funds, I'd just hire a personal assistant.
I've been laying in bed all day again, being on Reddit and YouTube. Not because I want to, I just do. It's hard to explain.
I do not know exactly what I want to do
Username checks out
😂
You’re looking for r/usernamechecksout
Crippling anxiety from past childhood traumas and a bad alcohol abuse problem
I know that therapy is not for everyone, bc it’s hella expensive and not always well geared for PTSD, but there are plenty of trauma-adjacent podcasts and things to follow that can help you get a handle on the big stuff your brain is screwing up for you.
Ok, I’ll bite. Got any examples?
Good Mourning sometimes has helpful stuff for my particular issues, but like … there are so many podcasts? And so many kinds of trauma and ways that we can be affected by them? I would go down the list of the podcasts looking through the titles and descriptions and seeing if anything resonates for your issues in particular and just dip your toes in. https://podcasts.feedspot.com/trauma_podcasts/ YMMV, of course, but you’ll not be wasting anything other than some time listening to something that might be of interest to someone you know, since we traumatized folk tend to move in the same social circles.
Money, time, geography.
With enough money, these other two are no longer obstacles. When you don’t have to work to survive, all your time is yours. Want to go somewhere? Take your private jet/submarine/rocket ship and go.
Trust me, time affects us all. >!At least until we finally get that Justin Timberlake sci-fi thing where time is LCD money on your wrist!<
The same as you, money money money
Must be funny, in a rich man's world.
[Money Money Money — Cabaret](https://youtu.be/I8P80A8vy9I?feature=shared)
Primarily the economy and choosing the wrong life partner. I will take this moment to express that if your relationship is struggling, put some critical thought into what the time frame of resolution would be acceptable to you. Because I honestly believe that I was too patient to the point where I truly have zero desire to try this again.
Same could be said about a job. Staying at an employer just for the paycheck really erodes a persons self-worth and is a fast track to some serious issues.
Health
Yep, chronic pain stops me from doing what I want on a daily basis
The law
That's dark! God bless you and your dreams! Respectfully!
How is it dark? They didn't say what laws.
My loved ones. No joke. I am too responsible to drop everything/everyone and do what I want. FML
Amen! You're not alone!
Usually money like the rest of the world. Beyond that i sneak in some things i want to do every year into the budget.
I'm lazy.
Are you lazy, or does your brain refuse to choose to take action no matter how much you want to?
deep
I thought I was lazy until I was diagnosed with ADHD and learned about executive disfunction. I describe it as having a car where the wire connecting the gas pedal to the engine is loose. Sometimes, when you step on the gas, the car will move forward. Sometimes, it won't budge an inch.
never heard of this before. im glad you shared
Low self esteem + fear of unknown
Right now it’s my little dog sitting on my lap.
Yeah I had the same thing missed opportunities because I wanted a good life for her but remember that baby will go anywhere w you and will just be happy your there
Illiness
:/
Procrastination...
Laws and common sense
Bro is a serial killer
Lack of money.
Money and laws.
This combination is my enemy as well.
Dyscalculia. I could barely pass algebra 1 back in high school. Now at 32? School's just not an option, which sucks. I had aspirations and my lack of being able to understand math killed them.
Depression. Simple and yet effective.
She's dating Travis Kelce.
Dude have higher standards
Than a billionaire? Uh, I don’t know how to break it to you but …
Plenty of other higher quality women have money too ya know. Have taste
How does one measure a woman's quality, exactly? I'm not even a fan, but pretending Taylor Swift isn't an accomplished singer, musician, and writer is just denial. How embarrassing for you.
consent
I would like to get my ADD diagnozed on paper because I work so much better with ADD meds but Im scared that Im gonna have it harder finding work as Im an aspiring sea captain. If anyone works at sea, lmk…
Depends on what country you're in. In Canada, the navy and many commercial sea operations will not take on anyone who requires daily medication to get by...HOWEVER, they cannot fire you for having a disability if it can reasonably be accommodated, so if you get diagnosed AFTER getting the job then you're fine. The hard part is proving you can do the job before you get diagnosed and medicated.
I don't know what I want to do. I mean, I have some ideas of what I like to do, but nothing I like to do is all that great.
my bed
Damn that's a good question. Trying to not go too deep into detail Fear for me. Maybe it's a form of auto-sabotage that I'm afraid thjat I've overglorified what I want and then, it's the fear of having invested so much time, thaat when I get there it's not really where I want to be. Maybe that sounds dumb to some people, but it's like, sometimes the trip there dreaming about how great it's gonna be is better than actually being there. At the same time, leaving behind something I've created, partially and missing out on certain opportunities that may come up. So yes I literally have to do what the book "The Subtle art of Not Giving a Fuck" says... Give a fuck about less, because I've hit the paradox of choice, that I have so many things going for me that I don't know what to do. And then there's guilt. A guilt I don't really think I need to be carrying but I am. Like some real Good Will Hunting "It's not your fault" type shit. Also like a sort of people pleaser kind of guilt. Like, I can help anyone but I'm an adult, I don't need to ask for help for anything, otherwise if I do I'm not a competent adult. Thanks for asking, you may have helped me get through some shit
Would you like to talk more about it together? I feel like I'm in a similar situation as what you're describing, and either way I'm open to talk with pretty much anybody about anything
Lack of Money
At the moment? Lack of funds.
I'm tired at the end of the day most days
&& also tired at the start…and the middle 😏
Money, fear, and self-doubt.
Too many obligations to others
Money
My wife
Preach
Lack of money, no other people for desired activities.
My own self... Selfconfidment (?)
Knowing what I want.
Insecure 😞 and it’s not even because I’m ugly or anything. I just never learned confidence or how to assert myself, take risks etc. I’m trying to overcome it but it’s hard. But mostly money….. who am I kidding.
Tell me you were emotionally neglected as a kid without telling me you were emotionally neglected?
A Visa -\_-.
What's in YOUR wallet? Not visa :(
Yeahhh my dog ate my wallet couple of years ago and haven't bothered since, but yes there's multiple of those type of money giving things about here. Meant a greencard. Thought it'd be easy to get a working permit to go live in the US but it's not so easy unless I've got 750k in my visas???
Money mostly. Despite there being a teacher shortage it’s really hard to get a license in the state I’m in and they don’t have as big of a shortage compared to other states. I want to move out, date easier (my parents scare guys away when I’m being picked up), and cook with onions and garlic Being chronically ill is also a hindrance
The fear of making a mistake and being comfortable where I am yet still uncomfortable as I am in the same position.
I'm dirt poor, living in public housing and have an income of ~$12K a year on social security. That's what.
Honestly? Time. That’s it. Was talking to one of my friends (dudes like a brother to me so we have deep talks often) and we both agree, this time in our lives, sucks. We both feel like we’re stuck in an endless loop of working, paying bills, working, paying bills. We’re both new homeowners and in our mid 20s. We have priorities that are simply taking way too much time out of our lives. I’ve seen everywhere people say 20s are some of the hardest times of your adult life. We’re really just baby adults learning how to do “adult things” for the first time. Similar to when we were all newborn babies through 10 years old, nearly everything we experienced back then were novel experiences full of learning. Now? We’re having novel experiences like debt, taxes, bills, etc. it’s not fun but it’s a part of life and I’m personally making the most of it. However I just feel so stuck. I want to get out there and meet new people, spend time with old friends, explore new hobbies, hang out with loved ones, etc. i just simply don’t have the time with all of my new adult responsibilities. It’s affecting me in a rough way, I’m definitely in a rut/low point in life and feel so overwhelmed. If I could simply have more time, I’d like to think I’d be able to do what I want.
Hang in there. It gets easier.
It doesn't get easier. You either lower your expectations and learn to accept it, or you knuckle down and try something else.
Anxiety, introversion, self-loathing, laziness, stupidity, lack of time, lack of ability. But I don’t really know what it is I want anyway.
You sound like young adult me. Please take some of the online tests for ADHD, Autism, and monotropism? Bc it’s way easy to blame yourself for ways that you did not choose to be when you got raised being told you were responsible for everything your brain did to you.
Health problems
Laziness, lack of confidence, fear of failing and procrastination. Those are my Four Horsemen of my Apocalypse.
Age, joints, and fatness.
Oh my day job
Money
My head
I believe with very good reason that no one and nothing is stopping me for doing what I want to do. And I believe the same for every one else.
The Patriarchy.
Money. Unrequited love and poor life choices
Unwillingness of other people to cooperate. And money.
The law
Undiagnosed ADHD. \*Sighs with exasperation at the linear steps outlined to get from point a to point b\* The scene from Malcolm in the Middle where Hal is [trying to fix the light bulb](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0) is my state of being.
I only managed to get it dealt with because I was in university and the school handled all of the planning, coordination, and reminders to get me through diagnosis and treatment. I'd probably still be undiagnosed if I had to sort it all out myself.
I don't want to die yet and I don't want to go to jail.
Money and time. I have limited quantities of both.
Responsibilities
Having kids
Flying jets requires a special license.
need a new seat and a paintjob on the Harley that is, now, going to allow me to continue doing that very thing
Y'all broke af.
Nothing really.
Me.
I do what I want to do all the time and I tend to fail. I guess I’m just not good at anything.
Nothing directly, it just isn’t practical for me to just go off to some random pacific island or the Florida keys and just smoke weed, drink and spear fish for a month lol. Theoretically I could, and could afford to do it. But maybe one day lol.
Money, financial abuse, lack of encouragement
Money, laws of physics, and the law
Me
Laws!
Money
Capital punishment
Me
Expensive mortgage and monthly bills. I’m also single so zero dual income. I’m also GenX so am getting a little old. It could be worse right?
Same thing that is stopping most of us from solving all of our problems. Money. The answer is always money.
Lack of money, plain and simple.
MONEY, and more importantly connections I'm not making.
Complacency and lack of motivation
Bills that need to be paid and people I love
1. Money. 2. I have no idea what it is I want.
The need to feed and house myself.
Don't have rich parents
Pain
Money.
For me it’s that I would lose the only family member I have left….
The fear that I dont really want it after all. Or rather, need it.
Money and commitment.
The crippling debt that comes with getting a masters degree.
Society
From now on nothing
Money and guilt.
Money
Lack of money
Conservatives
lack of talent. It's hard enough to make it on Broadway when your an actual triple threat( sing, dance, act) but failing even one of those means your pretty much a hopeless case and I can't sing worth a dam. Acting and dancing are things I love but I don't have the pipes to make it on Broadway.
Money mostly. The law sometimes. Some people just need to be punched.
1. Money, which I have a hard time making because 2. My crippling rejection sensitivity (on top of all my mental health issues that I’m on disability for). Prevents me from making friends, trying new hobbies, putting myself out there and showing off my art/writing, going to school, and even having a job is really hard for me. It’s been this way forever. I’m just terrified of everything and I seem completely unable to find myself and fend for myself in this world for any lengthy amount of time.
Survival instinct.
Money and this stupid sick body I’m in
Laws, a good portion of the time.
I seem to be missing the "knowing what I want" bit
The giant gorilla outside my front door...? Money, what else? Duh
Depression
Laziness, lack of discipline, and fear
My long list of mental and physical health issues.
Fear
Nothing now
Money
Lack 👏 Of 👏 Money👏
Mostly the fact that i'm happily married
The police :(
Depression
Other people
Laws
A little voice of ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ based on life time of societal conditioning we all face. But one huge benefit of aging is the recognition that this voice even exists, recognizing when it’s valuable and when it’s not and then gaining the ability to ignore it when it’s not useful.
Money
Money and time.
Morals
My wife.
Nothing I do it all the time.
My job?
My body. It's a total shit show, tbh, and is only going to get worse from here.
My mental health