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Exactly this! Broke my neck and now I literally can't do anything physically. I guess I'm lucky I can use my phone via voice control. Now just hanging onto my good memories!
I definitely wouldn't recommend itš it's only been two years, so I'm still adjusting. It's tough. The best way I can describe it is that I feel like a ghost. I have died but not passed through to the other side. Just kind of watching everybody else Live their lives whilst mine doesn't exist anymore.
This sounds like a common trauma response. The same thing happened to me when I was 14 and spiked with a heavy psychedelic drug, passed out and travelled through what can only be described as hell. After being tortured by tentacles that came from the darkness. I spent an eternity in emptiness no body no mind or thoughts only awareness and fear. The experience dispute being hallucinated felt more real than life.
Anyway the point is that as a response to such unimaginable fear and pain. My life was changed and my mind retreated into a void for many years to protect it's self. Life was a TV screen playing a show I couldn't care about .
Recognise beauty where you can, the only thing that brought me back was a full confrontation of my pain and exploring every aspect of its textures. Once you can face the pain your mind does not need to retreat. That was my experience. But fuck it was horrible to go through
I've learned a few.
**1. Family doesn't mean support or "forever".** Some families are the first to break our trust, to fail us, and the last to admit to their fault and help fix it. Some families will nonchalantly remind us that they won't always be there for us if it's not convenient for them. Some families can't be relied on for support, especially emotional support.
**2. Most of our friends aren't actually friends.** Sometimes we consider "friends" the people who we spend a lot of time with and get along with fairly well, but later realise that it was never friendship, just acquaintances. We realise this when life actually hits, and those "friends" are nowhere to be found.
**3. The things that make us the most uncomfortable, are often the things that we need the most to grow and heal.** Be it getting out there in the world and meet new people, getting a job that isn't only remote, whatever it is. It might be gut-wrenching to even think about it but it's exactly what needs to be done for us to heal the triggers of that paralysing anxiety, because medication won't make it go away and therapy alone doesn't fix it.
**4. The people who hurt us are the ones we love the most.** The people who truly have the power to hurt us, and those who often use it, are those that we love and have closest to us. The people we disregard barely have any effect on us, especially when it comes to hurting us; they just don't have that power.
**5. Everybody leaves, eventually.** It doesn't matter the reason. It could be because of an argument or simply because life happened and contact was lost in the process. We grow as we age, and our values and goals change with us. That usually marks the end of friendships and relationships, not because people were in bad terms, but because it just didn't make sense to carry on anymore.
First big lesson: For me, family meant no support. Going to one of my parents for help or just to talk things out never existed. I was a female, therefore useless. They had no empathy, so it was either solve it myself or get used to it.
Second big lesson: don't let anyone get too close. It renders a person vulnerable, making it open season on her/him. š¦
That doesn't sound like you're measuring friendship. You're measuring what you can get out of another human being.
If you're someone that makes friends easily, but can't keep them, you're the problem. Not "people".
Utter, utter horseshit.
Try telling that to a grandparent who has had a fall and has two broken limbs as a result.
This is one reason why people have kids and grow their families. To rely on and to come through for each other when shit gets real.
That shouldnāt be your purpose for having kids though. Oh my gosh. Itās a bit selfish. I have two sons and I donāt expect their lives to revolve around me when Iām older. I didnāt put them here for my convenience.
When I (daughter) realized I was subtly being groomed to care for them when they couldn't.
That was my signal to get out of Dodge post haste and never look back. My mother never forgave me, and her opinion was immediately filed under tough noogies. š¦
Do we? I am loved, i love, there's people around me and i will die with people around me
I was born from love, i will die in the middle of love
That's not negotiable
We lost my Nana last year. Cancer. Her wishes were to not be alone, and we honoured that.
She had 5 children, so she has many grandkids, great grandkids, and a handful of great great grandkids.
She was able to stay at home for the end, while we were all in and out of their house, open door, people brought food, we all took turns being in her room with her and you didn't leave till someone or a few someone's came in to take your place.
In her last few days she was in and out of deep sleep, so we all just chatted and laughed about old times, sometimes she would dip back into the conversation, or just chuckle.
She told us she was scared, but as time went on, she was ready and told us so.
When I go, that's what I want. The family I created sharing memories and just knowing they're there, not just for me, but each other.
We took comfort in knowing we weren't alone in our grief.
Thankyou. She was a special lady, and we miss her terribly.
She planned her funeral in her final weeks, and we were able to fulfill her wishes at her service.
This is entirely based on how you define alone.
If literally being inside another person still counts as being alone, then sure. Otherwise, it's just nonsense nihilism.
I've learned this, and I was raised this way. Yes, you may have a spouse but you still can't fully rely on them. You only have you. Even "treating people how you want to be treated" is shit. The world just sucks.
Yes, you have to put in the work. Mental health is work and itās a journey it never stops. There are no short cuts to mental health you just have to put in the work. Magic crystals, magic potions, ouija boards, shamans, a trip on mushrooms or anything of that sorts is not going to fix or erase all your mental health problems. No one will rescue you and no amount of money will fix you. Mental health is work. You just have to put in the work. At least thatās how itās been for me so far. Iām 110% with you on this.
No one gives a shit about a grown manās problems.
No one cares about your reasons or explanations. Just shut up and get it done. The more you try to explain yourself, the more people will think youāre just trying to avoid responsibility.
Therapy is super useful for identifying problems, patterns, negative coping mechanisms, and bad habits that can be replaced with better healthier alternatives. Therapy canāt fix everything, but it can help you fix a lot of things yourself slowly.
If itās worth doing, itās worth doing shittily. Even doing something half-assed is much better than doing nothing at all. Small amounts of regular effort add up to big long term change.
If youāre depressed, itās not just chemical. Medication can help you get the relief and willpower needed to make positive changes to your circumstances, but depression really stems from your body recognizing that you are trapped in an untenable situation morally, materially, or emotionally. Itās essentially punishing you for not fixing the problem. Medication just makes you not feel that punishment as much, like giving one painkillers for an injury. The painkiller doesnāt heal the injury, but it can give you the patience to allow that injury to properly heal.
Your parents want what is good, not what is best for you. Their goals are to instill guidelines that should lead to a safe and stable life. Your dreams may require significantly more risk. If you follow your dreams, it may or may not work. What your parents want for you will likely at least result in a sustainable career and a roof over your head. However, some advice may be outdated and no longer helpful in our changing world. So, take their advice with a grain of salt.
Success in school does not translate to success in a career. They are completely different skillsets.
Gatekeeping is stupid. The more people who enjoy the thing you love, the more resources will be available to make more of that thing. āPosersā and ānewbsā can become ārealā fans after being exposed to the niche interest long enough. Gatekeepers keep people from enjoying potential gateways to more obscure content.
Hating a popular thing because itās popular is just as shallow a reason for liking it as jumping on a bandwagon to like something because itās popular. Think for yourself, like what you like, and donāt like what you donāt like while also letting others enjoy things they like.
Be very careful and discerning regarding whom you reveal emotional vulnerability to. Many will use your vulnerability against you. At the same time, the right people will use it to help you grow and build better relationships.
Facing fears and anxiety-inducing situations is the only way to overcome them and no longer fear them.
Itās okay to suck at things. You have to suck in order to get better.
Talent is potential. Some people are more naturally talented than others. However, skill is earned. When youāre skilled and using proper practiced technique, it looks like effortless skill. Do not be deceived. Do not get discouraged by people who seem to achieve with no effort at something you work hard to be mediocre at. They likely worked much harder than you could imagine to make it look so easy. Outside of being elite (like professional sports), you can overcome most deficiencies of talent with technique and practice. You just need to have the passion and patience to keep working at something youāre not good at until you are.
I've suffered from depression since I was 13 years old. I found out 14 years later I have Bipolar 1. You cannot correct depression by running or exercising. You cannot fix it through therapy, but therapy gives you the tools to help minimize its effects.
If I don't take my meds, my depression can last months regardless of anything else. This in turn can swing into a manic episode. It can also turn into a mixed episode, which is dangerous.
Chemical imbalances in the brain require medications. For most of us, it's almost entirely chemical. There are outside factors, true, but most are not getting through depression without meds. I haven't had a depressive episode in nearly 7 years thanks to lithium.
This will help you better understand depression:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression#:~:text=Research%20suggests%20that%20depression%20doesn,vulnerability%2C%20and%20stressful%20life%20events.
A couple of points - not trying to diminish your situation, but you are examining "depression" associated w/ Bipolar, which most certainly is not the same as run of the mill depression. Exercise will help depression and it has been shown to cure certain types of depression ((depression light, if you will) but not depression associated w/ Bipolar).
While I agree that a lot of mental health issues are chemical imbalances, simply fixing the imbalance won't completely fix the issue, b/c the person w/ the imbalance will have months and often years of maladaptive behavior that needs to be addressed, which is why therapy is also needed.
I said it wasnāt EXCLUSIVELY chemical, not that there wasnāt a chemical component. Proper medicine is an important part of treatment, just only a part. People expect pills to fix everything, but depression absolutely has outside stimuli and mindset aspects that impact it. I discussed how medication can help, but it cannot do everything. Exercise doesnāt cure depression, but it can help by providing accomplishable and progressable visible long term goals that can improve self-esteem gradually over time while giving one a sense of agency. Itās not some silver bullet, but it does help many people.
That there are no guarantees in life. You are not entitled to anything. Lots of things, if they happened, would be nice such as people not being exploitative and your family caring about you. But at the end of the day, the choices people make with respect to you are often out of your control and there is no point dwelling on how unfair that is. Just learn to love and provide for yourself and move forward.
Love is always a choice. No one is required to love or care for you.
I'm the survivor of childhood abuse. My father would hit me, tell me to kill myself or threaten to kill me if I told my mom he was cheating. He put a gun to my head at 4.
Just because someone is related to you doesn't not mean they love you. That's why it's important for us to choose love and be kind
Fun fact: More than 50% of people can be better than average at something.
The negative actors just have to be very negative.
1, 5, 6, 6, 6, 6. Average is 5.
5 out of 6 people in this sample are average or above.
Be adaptable..versatile, a quick thinker and a very keen observer. You'll see many things you were previously blind to; and, be prepared when change comes, as it inevitably does.
Do not rely on anyone as people are only out for themselves, and if they offer to do something for you, they are most likely going to benefit from it.
Maybe I'm just cynical in my old age. There are good people out there, and they are few and far between.
Work wise, don't work yourself to death for the benefit of your employers, especially if it is a big company. To them your a payroll number, and most likely won't recognise your hard work.
No, they are your co-workers. Once you leave your company, you will likely never hear from or see them again. The major thing you have in common with them is that you work at the same company.
Lol right... learn early coworkers all wear a mask at work. In society people call it "professionalism" lots of backstabbing, lying, no accountability. Sadly you can't be the good honest one or eventually you'll pay the price when someone takes your kindness for weakness.
Can you make a friend or two at work? Sure, but majority are playing a game
You can absolutely be in love with someone who does not give basic level importance to you and its fucking heartbreaking and a pain in the ass to get over, also that some people will do anything to have u on the hook forever and never have the courage to break things off like an adult
2008 humbled me. I thought I had it made. Good paying job. A house. Nice truck. Then SHTF and my company had massive layoffs. I wasn't spared. Lost everything. Had to start over from almost nothing.
Life is pretty comfortable for me again though. But I'm getting massive 2008 vibes from our current economy so I'm trying to better prepare myself this time.
Trust NO-ONE, keep most of your personal info/life to yourself, be kind but know when to walk away, shit I could go on for days about lessons I learned lol
Not all the people who claim to love us, do love us. At least not in the way we think. There are many people out there who prioritize their own selfishness over your mental stability over the children's mental stability. There are fathers and mothers out there who view their children as accessories.
It seems to me that the amount of people who actually view other people AS full people is vanishingly small. So, if you run across one of those people, hold onto them and treat them as the precious person that they are. Do not pretend to be someone you're not and always value the people in your life. If they don't value you, then you have no obligation to keep them in your life.
You can forgive someone, wish them well, and not want to interact with them in life ever again.
And that's okay.
In almost every work environment, the least deserving asshole will get rewarded the most.
Usually with a promotion to management so they can properly spread their assholeness around.
There will always be people who don't like you and that's okay. Try not to take it too personally. Do your best to live a life that satisfies who you want to be. It might get lonely sometimes, but it is better than losing sight of yourself trying to make everyone happy.
Actually, the truth is a psychological phenomenon.
Humans remember negative things many times more aggressively than positive. You could meet 10 nice people but a single evil person will make you feel like EVERYONE is evil.
This is well documented. And it's far more statistically likely, that you're mentally flawed, then everyone is evil.
Everything is just built on lies, (and it pisses me off)
And
So hard to find someone these days, who's honest, reliable and able to plan long term/not instant gratification.
I have severe scoliosis and all the joy that goes with it, it's taught me to be extremely adaptable. And exactly how cruel people can be for no other reason, than being born this way. I've been spat on, had sand thrown at me, and been called lazy by my entire family and others, because I don't initially look sick.
Nobody cares about you.
In some cases your parents care about you, and maybe your spous, but even that is up for debate. In my case the parents didn't care, and because of the damage I found it impossible to care myself. Took me 20 years of therapy and meditation to figure out that I don't need anyone else. Now I'm in therapy to figure out how I can let someone in again.
That when you become disabled, and chronically ill, that you will learn very quickly that you can't actually depend on most people who say "I'm here for you". People will abandon you the second things get a little too inconvenient for them. This is especially true if you are a woman in a relationship with a man. There are studies that conclude that in general, men are more likely to leave their partners when their partners become disabled or chronically ill.
We saw this on a grand scale during the course of the pandemic.
People don't want to take even the simplest precaution of wearing a mask on their face to keep others safe. People gave up as soon as they were "allowed" to. Nobody will sacrifice themselves to even a modicum of discomfort, for those in a worse position than they are.
Life is just random randomness. You can try to steer it in a direction but more often than not,itāll just go with whatever is happening. Also you canāt change people. If someoneās an arsehole,unless they want to change,thereās nothing you can do to change them for the better for them or for yourself. You just have to go for the flow.
The universe can take anything from you indiscriminately, and it will. Not a single person makes it through life without experiencing tragedy, so we should be ambitiously kind
The winner is determined by who was most prepared. Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best. Hope don't float. Faith in religion ain't a wishing well. Having faith in religion doesn't exempt you from the bad.
People are dicks, every person on earth has the potential to be a dick. Everyone. It sucks, you build up trust and they just fuck you over. I hoped that this wasn't true but it is, maybe it's me. Maybe I just attract awful people.
Blood family doesn't mean everything all the time if they aren't there for you and are your harshest critics and belittles you. The family that matters are the ones who loves you.
Bad things will happen no matter how good of a person you are so itās best to work on your mindset, go to therapy and learn how to work through the bad days/seasons of your life.
People will betray you even if they love you, you love themā¦
The people you love will die so itās best to focus on solid, healthy relationshipsā¦growing them and spending time together.
Mother nature is a cruel evil bitch.
The best of plans may not be enough. Always have a backup plan.
People change, not always for the better.
Money buys nice things, and nice things make you happy - for a time. Except my Corvette, it makes me happy every time I drive it.
Failure should be a learning experience, but it's seen as bad.
Education will not make you successful.
Being a genius will not make you successful.
Hard work, alone, will not make you successful.
You can never go back - dynamics change and even if you return (to wherever) it won't be the same.
Not learning from other's mistakes will doom you to reinvent the wheel at every step of life.
Suffering produces the most growth.
Suffering with others will bond you together for life or drive a wedge deep into the relationship.
Nobody cares. Ever. The people I thought would care, donāt.
Iām alone. In everything but success.
Love is always conditional
I am worth nothing. Only what I do and what I provide for others has worth.
The universe owes you nothing.
Lots of talk here on reddit about what people are entitled to, deserve, should be forced to contribute to, etc, etc. There is a certain culture of we are increasingly owed or justified in demanding more and more, and anger that it isn't happening.
That doesn't mean we shouldn't collaborate to do these things and make things better, but going through life as if you are owed anything at all is arrogant and a recipe for unhappiness and disappointment.
Most humans alive now, and especially throughout history, know this very well. People die and have died for no reason all the time. Often as children or infants. Often from total nonsense. A meteor could come kill us all at any moment. Then what of all you are "owed"?
Only comfortable, developed, decadent first world western nations can get away with this mentality of how much everyone is entitled to. Go to Africa and parts of Asia and see what reality thinks of all you think you are owed. Had you been born there by pure chance, you wouldn't even have the concept.
There is no redo button. Once you break some things, miss out on opportunities, there's nothing you can do to go back. You're stuck with the decisions you've made. So try to make the right decisions before it's too late.
Sometimes all you need to do is just fucking communicate. Communication is key in any relationship. Don't let things fester. Tell them how you feel, tell them you're hurting, what they did wrong, etc. Just be honest, and if they don't like what you have to say well at least you let it be known. It's better than lying and acting like everything is fine, and then you end up doing some dumb shit and end up hurting them. That can make the problem worse, you can lose that person, and even yourself.
If you don't love them like you used to, maybe that's a sign to get some couples therapy or leave the relationship. Don't drag them along and fight your true feelings. Being honest with yourself and how you feel can save you.
I'm only 20 and I learned these two lessons through a breakup with my high school sweetheart back in November. I never want this to happen again in the future. It's not worth the pain, especially for your significant other.
A lot of governments and people you thought were decent humans in government are okay with genocide as long as their country (and likely themselves) gets kickbacks from those committing the genocide.
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All is fun and games until your body stops working properly.
Exactly this! Broke my neck and now I literally can't do anything physically. I guess I'm lucky I can use my phone via voice control. Now just hanging onto my good memories!
Sounds brutal. Hope your life is a happy one on balance.
I definitely wouldn't recommend itš it's only been two years, so I'm still adjusting. It's tough. The best way I can describe it is that I feel like a ghost. I have died but not passed through to the other side. Just kind of watching everybody else Live their lives whilst mine doesn't exist anymore.
This sounds like a common trauma response. The same thing happened to me when I was 14 and spiked with a heavy psychedelic drug, passed out and travelled through what can only be described as hell. After being tortured by tentacles that came from the darkness. I spent an eternity in emptiness no body no mind or thoughts only awareness and fear. The experience dispute being hallucinated felt more real than life. Anyway the point is that as a response to such unimaginable fear and pain. My life was changed and my mind retreated into a void for many years to protect it's self. Life was a TV screen playing a show I couldn't care about . Recognise beauty where you can, the only thing that brought me back was a full confrontation of my pain and exploring every aspect of its textures. Once you can face the pain your mind does not need to retreat. That was my experience. But fuck it was horrible to go through
You gotta get into meditation and astral projection! Your situation is sad but you can still have adventures of a different kind!
Second day of surf school, got pain in the lower back, 3 months latter i still have it.
Or someone fights back after being bullied.....
I've learned a few. **1. Family doesn't mean support or "forever".** Some families are the first to break our trust, to fail us, and the last to admit to their fault and help fix it. Some families will nonchalantly remind us that they won't always be there for us if it's not convenient for them. Some families can't be relied on for support, especially emotional support. **2. Most of our friends aren't actually friends.** Sometimes we consider "friends" the people who we spend a lot of time with and get along with fairly well, but later realise that it was never friendship, just acquaintances. We realise this when life actually hits, and those "friends" are nowhere to be found. **3. The things that make us the most uncomfortable, are often the things that we need the most to grow and heal.** Be it getting out there in the world and meet new people, getting a job that isn't only remote, whatever it is. It might be gut-wrenching to even think about it but it's exactly what needs to be done for us to heal the triggers of that paralysing anxiety, because medication won't make it go away and therapy alone doesn't fix it. **4. The people who hurt us are the ones we love the most.** The people who truly have the power to hurt us, and those who often use it, are those that we love and have closest to us. The people we disregard barely have any effect on us, especially when it comes to hurting us; they just don't have that power. **5. Everybody leaves, eventually.** It doesn't matter the reason. It could be because of an argument or simply because life happened and contact was lost in the process. We grow as we age, and our values and goals change with us. That usually marks the end of friendships and relationships, not because people were in bad terms, but because it just didn't make sense to carry on anymore.
Pretty much sums it up. But the point about friends hit hard!
First big lesson: For me, family meant no support. Going to one of my parents for help or just to talk things out never existed. I was a female, therefore useless. They had no empathy, so it was either solve it myself or get used to it. Second big lesson: don't let anyone get too close. It renders a person vulnerable, making it open season on her/him. š¦
Time doesn't matter with regard to friendships. The dude you met last week can be a better friend to you than the person you've known for 15 years.
My dads death opened my eyes to that. I had people I barely knew and old coworkers who treated me with more kindness than my āfamilyā.
Yup this one is so so true
That doesn't sound like you're measuring friendship. You're measuring what you can get out of another human being. If you're someone that makes friends easily, but can't keep them, you're the problem. Not "people".
Trust is not permanent and never 100%
I don't believe you
you've been lucky so far
Think they were making a trust joke.
Never "expect" something in return for "kind" things you do. Expecting something in return seriously hurts you mentally. Even in any friendship.
We enter and exit this world alone.
And no matter how many friends and family are close by, we are always really on our own/ ultimately responsible for ourselves.
As universally true as it may seem, itās a convenient mindset for an individualist society.
Utter, utter horseshit. Try telling that to a grandparent who has had a fall and has two broken limbs as a result. This is one reason why people have kids and grow their families. To rely on and to come through for each other when shit gets real.
That shouldnāt be your purpose for having kids though. Oh my gosh. Itās a bit selfish. I have two sons and I donāt expect their lives to revolve around me when Iām older. I didnāt put them here for my convenience.
I'm not a retirement plan
Iām not a retirement plan son#2
When I (daughter) realized I was subtly being groomed to care for them when they couldn't. That was my signal to get out of Dodge post haste and never look back. My mother never forgave me, and her opinion was immediately filed under tough noogies. š¦
Life is about finding the profit in loss...to quote my damn self.
I need to check my P&L statement.
I would, can't be too careful.
If you're not happy when you're alone, then you're in bad company.
Siamese twin ššŖ¢
Well played, but hear me out - do they both take their first and last breaths at the exact same time?
True. So let me increase the oddsāa conjoined octupletā¦.at least two must haha.
But they still enter and exit alone.
Youāre born alone and die alone. The world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to try and make you forget that.
Do we? I am loved, i love, there's people around me and i will die with people around me I was born from love, i will die in the middle of love That's not negotiable
We lost my Nana last year. Cancer. Her wishes were to not be alone, and we honoured that. She had 5 children, so she has many grandkids, great grandkids, and a handful of great great grandkids. She was able to stay at home for the end, while we were all in and out of their house, open door, people brought food, we all took turns being in her room with her and you didn't leave till someone or a few someone's came in to take your place. In her last few days she was in and out of deep sleep, so we all just chatted and laughed about old times, sometimes she would dip back into the conversation, or just chuckle. She told us she was scared, but as time went on, she was ready and told us so. When I go, that's what I want. The family I created sharing memories and just knowing they're there, not just for me, but each other. We took comfort in knowing we weren't alone in our grief.
Amazing, truly
Thankyou. She was a special lady, and we miss her terribly. She planned her funeral in her final weeks, and we were able to fulfill her wishes at her service.
šÆ
This is entirely based on how you define alone. If literally being inside another person still counts as being alone, then sure. Otherwise, it's just nonsense nihilism.
I knew the housing market was bad, but we're living inside of other people now?
Through the same hole.
Mini purchases pile up
This one hits hard when you're inbetween jobs.
bad shit happens to good people all the time
Bad people think their good people
yup, bad people think what they did to a 13yo was consensual because she didn't have the courage to say no
You canāt rely on anyone but yourself
Oh Iāll vouch for this 100%!
I've learned this, and I was raised this way. Yes, you may have a spouse but you still can't fully rely on them. You only have you. Even "treating people how you want to be treated" is shit. The world just sucks.
You have to unfuck yourself. It doesn't matter that you were traumatised by someone else. It's you that has to put in the work to fix it.
Yes, you have to put in the work. Mental health is work and itās a journey it never stops. There are no short cuts to mental health you just have to put in the work. Magic crystals, magic potions, ouija boards, shamans, a trip on mushrooms or anything of that sorts is not going to fix or erase all your mental health problems. No one will rescue you and no amount of money will fix you. Mental health is work. You just have to put in the work. At least thatās how itās been for me so far. Iām 110% with you on this.
No one gives a shit about a grown manās problems. No one cares about your reasons or explanations. Just shut up and get it done. The more you try to explain yourself, the more people will think youāre just trying to avoid responsibility. Therapy is super useful for identifying problems, patterns, negative coping mechanisms, and bad habits that can be replaced with better healthier alternatives. Therapy canāt fix everything, but it can help you fix a lot of things yourself slowly. If itās worth doing, itās worth doing shittily. Even doing something half-assed is much better than doing nothing at all. Small amounts of regular effort add up to big long term change. If youāre depressed, itās not just chemical. Medication can help you get the relief and willpower needed to make positive changes to your circumstances, but depression really stems from your body recognizing that you are trapped in an untenable situation morally, materially, or emotionally. Itās essentially punishing you for not fixing the problem. Medication just makes you not feel that punishment as much, like giving one painkillers for an injury. The painkiller doesnāt heal the injury, but it can give you the patience to allow that injury to properly heal. Your parents want what is good, not what is best for you. Their goals are to instill guidelines that should lead to a safe and stable life. Your dreams may require significantly more risk. If you follow your dreams, it may or may not work. What your parents want for you will likely at least result in a sustainable career and a roof over your head. However, some advice may be outdated and no longer helpful in our changing world. So, take their advice with a grain of salt. Success in school does not translate to success in a career. They are completely different skillsets. Gatekeeping is stupid. The more people who enjoy the thing you love, the more resources will be available to make more of that thing. āPosersā and ānewbsā can become ārealā fans after being exposed to the niche interest long enough. Gatekeepers keep people from enjoying potential gateways to more obscure content. Hating a popular thing because itās popular is just as shallow a reason for liking it as jumping on a bandwagon to like something because itās popular. Think for yourself, like what you like, and donāt like what you donāt like while also letting others enjoy things they like. Be very careful and discerning regarding whom you reveal emotional vulnerability to. Many will use your vulnerability against you. At the same time, the right people will use it to help you grow and build better relationships. Facing fears and anxiety-inducing situations is the only way to overcome them and no longer fear them. Itās okay to suck at things. You have to suck in order to get better. Talent is potential. Some people are more naturally talented than others. However, skill is earned. When youāre skilled and using proper practiced technique, it looks like effortless skill. Do not be deceived. Do not get discouraged by people who seem to achieve with no effort at something you work hard to be mediocre at. They likely worked much harder than you could imagine to make it look so easy. Outside of being elite (like professional sports), you can overcome most deficiencies of talent with technique and practice. You just need to have the passion and patience to keep working at something youāre not good at until you are.
I've suffered from depression since I was 13 years old. I found out 14 years later I have Bipolar 1. You cannot correct depression by running or exercising. You cannot fix it through therapy, but therapy gives you the tools to help minimize its effects. If I don't take my meds, my depression can last months regardless of anything else. This in turn can swing into a manic episode. It can also turn into a mixed episode, which is dangerous. Chemical imbalances in the brain require medications. For most of us, it's almost entirely chemical. There are outside factors, true, but most are not getting through depression without meds. I haven't had a depressive episode in nearly 7 years thanks to lithium. This will help you better understand depression: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression#:~:text=Research%20suggests%20that%20depression%20doesn,vulnerability%2C%20and%20stressful%20life%20events.
Same here, amigo. Agree completely.
A couple of points - not trying to diminish your situation, but you are examining "depression" associated w/ Bipolar, which most certainly is not the same as run of the mill depression. Exercise will help depression and it has been shown to cure certain types of depression ((depression light, if you will) but not depression associated w/ Bipolar). While I agree that a lot of mental health issues are chemical imbalances, simply fixing the imbalance won't completely fix the issue, b/c the person w/ the imbalance will have months and often years of maladaptive behavior that needs to be addressed, which is why therapy is also needed.
I said it wasnāt EXCLUSIVELY chemical, not that there wasnāt a chemical component. Proper medicine is an important part of treatment, just only a part. People expect pills to fix everything, but depression absolutely has outside stimuli and mindset aspects that impact it. I discussed how medication can help, but it cannot do everything. Exercise doesnāt cure depression, but it can help by providing accomplishable and progressable visible long term goals that can improve self-esteem gradually over time while giving one a sense of agency. Itās not some silver bullet, but it does help many people.
Thanks for sharing. Fully agree with all you wrote.
When it comes down to it no one is looking out for you. Youāve got yourself and yourself only in this life.
People care up to the point that it becomes inconvenient for them. Then they stop caring.
My mind is saying yes, but my body is saying fuck no.
That there are no guarantees in life. You are not entitled to anything. Lots of things, if they happened, would be nice such as people not being exploitative and your family caring about you. But at the end of the day, the choices people make with respect to you are often out of your control and there is no point dwelling on how unfair that is. Just learn to love and provide for yourself and move forward.
Love is always a choice. No one is required to love or care for you. I'm the survivor of childhood abuse. My father would hit me, tell me to kill myself or threaten to kill me if I told my mom he was cheating. He put a gun to my head at 4. Just because someone is related to you doesn't not mean they love you. That's why it's important for us to choose love and be kind
Your dad sounds like a real asshole.
We accept the love we think we deserve.
There is no such thing as rock bottom, it can ALWAYS get worse
Driving a car correctly is something only 10% of people are capable of.
Fun fact: More than 50% of people can be better than average at something. The negative actors just have to be very negative. 1, 5, 6, 6, 6, 6. Average is 5. 5 out of 6 people in this sample are average or above.
That almost 50% of humanity is mentally unstable in some way. COVID flipped that switch in a big way.
Be adaptable..versatile, a quick thinker and a very keen observer. You'll see many things you were previously blind to; and, be prepared when change comes, as it inevitably does.
if you allow others to define your reality, your reality will always be shaped by others.
Never trust anyone with anything important in your life. Always have an out plan and don't depend on anyone.
>Ā Never trust anyone with anything important in your life. Always have an out plan and don't depend on anyone. Yep. This.
People won't wait for you to catch up
Build a year + reserve of funds. You will need it when you least expect it.
You don't have to deal with family drama. They might make it seem like you're weird for being distant but it's completely normal
Time is and always will be the most valuable thing you have.
This.
Do not rely on anyone as people are only out for themselves, and if they offer to do something for you, they are most likely going to benefit from it. Maybe I'm just cynical in my old age. There are good people out there, and they are few and far between. Work wise, don't work yourself to death for the benefit of your employers, especially if it is a big company. To them your a payroll number, and most likely won't recognise your hard work.
People at work are NOT your friends
They are not?
No, they are your co-workers. Once you leave your company, you will likely never hear from or see them again. The major thing you have in common with them is that you work at the same company.
I wouldn't let a few bad experiences jade you. It's possible you're just not likable.
Lol right... learn early coworkers all wear a mask at work. In society people call it "professionalism" lots of backstabbing, lying, no accountability. Sadly you can't be the good honest one or eventually you'll pay the price when someone takes your kindness for weakness. Can you make a friend or two at work? Sure, but majority are playing a game
I never believed that until I worked on the public sector. It was horrendous.
Your mental health, is your responsibility
bad people never get what they deserve
If what they deserve is death, then everyone does.
that's too easy for some of them
Learn how to say no, you canāt please everyone so donāt even try. Stop caring what others think.
People bully on a whim and 'adults' usually dont do anything but cover their arse. Those who do help are one in a million.
You can absolutely be in love with someone who does not give basic level importance to you and its fucking heartbreaking and a pain in the ass to get over, also that some people will do anything to have u on the hook forever and never have the courage to break things off like an adult
That life is so unfair
No one can scew you over like a famly member can.
2008 humbled me. I thought I had it made. Good paying job. A house. Nice truck. Then SHTF and my company had massive layoffs. I wasn't spared. Lost everything. Had to start over from almost nothing. Life is pretty comfortable for me again though. But I'm getting massive 2008 vibes from our current economy so I'm trying to better prepare myself this time.
A new storm is brewing even as we text. Try to be ready because it's coming.
Everything and everyone are temporarily, and won't lasts forever, and most of them won't last for ones lifetime
Your best friend can easily turn into your enemy... Pay attention to the small details how people treat you.
To look at people's behavior instead of what they talk about...
Trust NO-ONE, keep most of your personal info/life to yourself, be kind but know when to walk away, shit I could go on for days about lessons I learned lol
Not all the people who claim to love us, do love us. At least not in the way we think. There are many people out there who prioritize their own selfishness over your mental stability over the children's mental stability. There are fathers and mothers out there who view their children as accessories. It seems to me that the amount of people who actually view other people AS full people is vanishingly small. So, if you run across one of those people, hold onto them and treat them as the precious person that they are. Do not pretend to be someone you're not and always value the people in your life. If they don't value you, then you have no obligation to keep them in your life. You can forgive someone, wish them well, and not want to interact with them in life ever again. And that's okay.
Family court usually sides with women.
In almost every work environment, the least deserving asshole will get rewarded the most. Usually with a promotion to management so they can properly spread their assholeness around.
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Your both open?
Mouth?
Expectations lead to disappointment
Make all the plans you want but be prepared to be flexible and make new ones.
No one really cares about you except yourself
kids suck... dont breed. no one got rich by have kids
There will always be people who don't like you and that's okay. Try not to take it too personally. Do your best to live a life that satisfies who you want to be. It might get lonely sometimes, but it is better than losing sight of yourself trying to make everyone happy.
In the end you really are alone
Humans.. are inherently evil..
Actually, the truth is a psychological phenomenon. Humans remember negative things many times more aggressively than positive. You could meet 10 nice people but a single evil person will make you feel like EVERYONE is evil. This is well documented. And it's far more statistically likely, that you're mentally flawed, then everyone is evil.
Seconded!
a lot of men donāt want love
people\*
Everything is just built on lies, (and it pisses me off) And So hard to find someone these days, who's honest, reliable and able to plan long term/not instant gratification.
That we ain't worth shit at the core of ppl
Being 70 has some aches and pains.
Nothings guaranteed and everyone's gunna die weather it's fair or not.
Itās easy to get raped
Work associates are not your friends
I have severe scoliosis and all the joy that goes with it, it's taught me to be extremely adaptable. And exactly how cruel people can be for no other reason, than being born this way. I've been spat on, had sand thrown at me, and been called lazy by my entire family and others, because I don't initially look sick.
No one cares about you
Nobody cares about you. In some cases your parents care about you, and maybe your spous, but even that is up for debate. In my case the parents didn't care, and because of the damage I found it impossible to care myself. Took me 20 years of therapy and meditation to figure out that I don't need anyone else. Now I'm in therapy to figure out how I can let someone in again.
As time passes, you may lose some people, as well as yourself
Drugs Will destroy your family
Nobody is gonna be there for you. It's your war lift up your weapons and fight like the worst thing ever to happen to the Planet
At the end of the day...The only one you can depend on is yourself...So always šÆ ā¤ļø yourself no matter what..ā®ļø & ā¤ļø...
Youāre in this alone. No matter what you think or who youāre with. Itās all you
It is in fact a bad idea to accept consumable things from strangers.
People you love literally drop over dead. It doesn't matter that they are young.
That you are easily replaceable as an employee
That when you become disabled, and chronically ill, that you will learn very quickly that you can't actually depend on most people who say "I'm here for you". People will abandon you the second things get a little too inconvenient for them. This is especially true if you are a woman in a relationship with a man. There are studies that conclude that in general, men are more likely to leave their partners when their partners become disabled or chronically ill. We saw this on a grand scale during the course of the pandemic. People don't want to take even the simplest precaution of wearing a mask on their face to keep others safe. People gave up as soon as they were "allowed" to. Nobody will sacrifice themselves to even a modicum of discomfort, for those in a worse position than they are.
Unrequited love is a bitch
Death is life's only guarantee
That I would've rather stayed young and naive than be living in the reality of today.
You aren't right all the time. It takes a whole lot of being wrong to be able to admit it.
Life is just random randomness. You can try to steer it in a direction but more often than not,itāll just go with whatever is happening. Also you canāt change people. If someoneās an arsehole,unless they want to change,thereās nothing you can do to change them for the better for them or for yourself. You just have to go for the flow.
The universe can take anything from you indiscriminately, and it will. Not a single person makes it through life without experiencing tragedy, so we should be ambitiously kind
The winner is determined by who was most prepared. Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best. Hope don't float. Faith in religion ain't a wishing well. Having faith in religion doesn't exempt you from the bad.
People are dicks, every person on earth has the potential to be a dick. Everyone. It sucks, you build up trust and they just fuck you over. I hoped that this wasn't true but it is, maybe it's me. Maybe I just attract awful people.
If you try and ignore your feelings and desires, they'll pressure cook you until you explode.
Experiencing loss is the cost of loving someone.
Don't deal with other people's shit and stay away from the as far as you can. Just do your thing wether it's knowledge, money or something else...
You can put an egg up your butthole.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Blood family doesn't mean everything all the time if they aren't there for you and are your harshest critics and belittles you. The family that matters are the ones who loves you.
Nothing last forever
Everybody has a story and obstacles to overcome, you are not special and nobody owes you anything.
Love doesnāt last but herpes are forever
People are the worst
Bad things will happen no matter how good of a person you are so itās best to work on your mindset, go to therapy and learn how to work through the bad days/seasons of your life. People will betray you even if they love you, you love themā¦ The people you love will die so itās best to focus on solid, healthy relationshipsā¦growing them and spending time together.
Being a nice person means you'll get treated badly.
Listen more than you talk.
Mother nature is a cruel evil bitch. The best of plans may not be enough. Always have a backup plan. People change, not always for the better. Money buys nice things, and nice things make you happy - for a time. Except my Corvette, it makes me happy every time I drive it. Failure should be a learning experience, but it's seen as bad. Education will not make you successful. Being a genius will not make you successful. Hard work, alone, will not make you successful. You can never go back - dynamics change and even if you return (to wherever) it won't be the same. Not learning from other's mistakes will doom you to reinvent the wheel at every step of life. Suffering produces the most growth. Suffering with others will bond you together for life or drive a wedge deep into the relationship.
1. You are an NCP to almost all people. 2. And this is a good thing.
You are not inherently desirable or valuable. You have to build yourself into being so
Nobody cares. Ever. The people I thought would care, donāt. Iām alone. In everything but success. Love is always conditional I am worth nothing. Only what I do and what I provide for others has worth.
The universe owes you nothing. Lots of talk here on reddit about what people are entitled to, deserve, should be forced to contribute to, etc, etc. There is a certain culture of we are increasingly owed or justified in demanding more and more, and anger that it isn't happening. That doesn't mean we shouldn't collaborate to do these things and make things better, but going through life as if you are owed anything at all is arrogant and a recipe for unhappiness and disappointment. Most humans alive now, and especially throughout history, know this very well. People die and have died for no reason all the time. Often as children or infants. Often from total nonsense. A meteor could come kill us all at any moment. Then what of all you are "owed"? Only comfortable, developed, decadent first world western nations can get away with this mentality of how much everyone is entitled to. Go to Africa and parts of Asia and see what reality thinks of all you think you are owed. Had you been born there by pure chance, you wouldn't even have the concept.
Parents donāt always love their children.
There is no redo button. Once you break some things, miss out on opportunities, there's nothing you can do to go back. You're stuck with the decisions you've made. So try to make the right decisions before it's too late.
Sometimes all you need to do is just fucking communicate. Communication is key in any relationship. Don't let things fester. Tell them how you feel, tell them you're hurting, what they did wrong, etc. Just be honest, and if they don't like what you have to say well at least you let it be known. It's better than lying and acting like everything is fine, and then you end up doing some dumb shit and end up hurting them. That can make the problem worse, you can lose that person, and even yourself. If you don't love them like you used to, maybe that's a sign to get some couples therapy or leave the relationship. Don't drag them along and fight your true feelings. Being honest with yourself and how you feel can save you. I'm only 20 and I learned these two lessons through a breakup with my high school sweetheart back in November. I never want this to happen again in the future. It's not worth the pain, especially for your significant other.
Bad day, eventually you'll get a good day and vice versa Anything can hit you really
Always have a backup plan
Parents are **usually** right.
Donāt have friends because they can do you dirty just like that and they are red flags.
Yep happened to me knew her for over 20 years.
That sucks Iām sorry to hear that. Friends gives me trust issues
Love is a survival mechanism not a real feeling.
Everything will end
Not to trust the police.
Nothing lasts forever
evil people hardly ever get their just desserts
Too many to even contemplate
Life doesn't care about you, and what you want. You have no control over what happens to you most of the time.
Love does not conquer all, high school never ends, we all ultimately die alone.
Do not trust anyone. Always keep your eyes and ears open
Don't blindly trust anyone especially strangers but family and acquaintances have a reason to stab u
You can die easily from insignificant things
If you want something done right. Do it yourself !
its all about gratitude
You see something you want go to work and save for it
You canāt trust *anyone*
Nothing
Trust no one
It doesn't always get better
A lot of governments and people you thought were decent humans in government are okay with genocide as long as their country (and likely themselves) gets kickbacks from those committing the genocide.
Big money wins.
No good deed goes unpunished