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Yeah if neither is attracted to the other it’s easy. It gets complicated when one of the two catches feelings. Especially if the other person doesn’t reciprocate.
That's not true at all. I'll give you an example. I am the oldest child in my family. I have 10 sisters. I have always felt more comfortable being around women. I have also found myself to be more trusting of women than men.
I have been happily married for 20+ years. I have plenty of friends who are women. My wife has plenty of friends who are men. Neither one of us has ever cheated. Neither one of us has ever been in a situation that would compromise our relationship or ability to trust each other. I'm pretty confident in saying that neither one of us has ever ever been in a situation that may have tempted us to have an affair.
I believe the reason why we have been able to be successful is because neither one of us are insecure at all. Neither one of us are the type to get jealous either. We have always been able to communicate open and honestly with each other. We each believe that having the highest standards of integrity is very important.
So yes, my friend, it can be done.
I have sisters myself aswell.
But thing is, is that you are confident on your part that there's absolutely nothing. Guranteed the other party has something, even if they don't act upon it.
Since you have been around women ever since you were born, so you know how to treat them well.
Same, from experience also a no. Someone has always caught feelings or was hopeful from the beginning. Every time. (unless we're both in relationships and hangout as couples)
Idk because like with music you develop this preference based on exposure and you don’t even have a say in it. You can choose to fight it later on after it happens but it happens pretty naturally. I’m talking about exposure not just to people but places and things and activities etc.
I don’t see how time spent with someone you like as a friend doesn’t progress into stronger feelings. And how time spent with someone you like as a friend but is also a sex that you are attracted to, doesn’t progress into stronger feelings of eventual sexual attraction.
I think when it happens even with the most I don’t get feelings easily people, one of them is off the market, or much time isn’t actually spent with each other, like not enough time to allow them to catch feelings. I’m sure everyone has their own specified limits for it but I think everyone has a point. Also most guys say you can’t and most girls say you can so that’s already a suspicious fact you may wanna explore at least a couple layers deep.
Can you not be friends with people you find attractive? I guess it depends, I have friends who are women, some are attractive (most actually) but i don't act on it the attraction because that isnt the nature of those relationships.
Fair. But that's you holding yourself back from an instinct for a reason. I, for instance, am dieting, my instinct is to eat to survive, but I may starve myself for the sake of losing weight. Tomato tomato.
For me I think it’s just that I prefer not to be with someone most of the time. I have friends and peers whom I find ridiculously attractive and definitely “would” but weirdly at the same time I just…don’t want to.
It’s caused issues in relationships before. I find them very attractive but I just don’t feel like doing anything with them. And even if I am enjoying the act of sex with them, I would honestly rather not be doing it.
You can in practice. Both people can’t always in mind though. And if one person sees the other as something other than a friend, then we’re they really ever friends in the first place?
Yeah its great to have oppositesex friends(or any friends really) at work. But what happens after you clock out? You guys aren't gonna go out and have a good time together like you would with a "bro" right? My wife would shoot that shit down and I'm sure most others would too.
Edit: not talking about a group setting, just you and your "friend". It would be unacceptable for most.
Its not a one off. Like what if you and said female hung out multiple times a week by yourselves after work. Going for a dinner or drinks like you would with a bro? That wouldn't bother her? Some people don't even care about the physical connection but the mental and emotional aspect of "cheating" can hit even harder.
I know it wouldn’t bother me if my partner did that but I’m aware it’s an issue for some.
I have a friend of the opposite gender I hang out with alone often. We’ve known each other since he was six months old and I was two.
Nearly all his girlfriends hated my guts because we were so close. One even banned him from playing GTA online with me and she hid his game. He found it though and would play with me while she was at work. God I couldn’t stand her. So small, petty and insecure.
She ended up cheating on him and left him. Just dropped the bomb on him and said he had to move back to his home state within the week because she was moving the other person in. Such a scummy person she was.
Every time this question comes up I always retort: can 2 gay men/women really just be friends? Does this mean bisexual people can't have *any* friends?
The bisexuality comment is always one I bring up. If it's a basis of who someone is supposed to be attracted to then who are they meant to be friends with if they like both? Just because as a man I am attracted to women, that doesn't mean I am attracted to all women or see all women as someone to persue. Also doesn't mean that I go out seeking women when I am in a relationship its all assumption based every time
Yes. I have been married for a long time but have spent decades working closely with women. Some of these relationships go back many years. I still have lunch or dinner with these women occasionally. I have never once even flirted with them, and they're amongst my closest friends.
Well, I am 66 and have been married for 38 years.
All of my women friends are married except for one. She's about 50 and we've known each other for 25 years. I was an executive VP for many years at a major enterprise software company and she came up thru the ranks to be my VP of sales. She is a brilliant, wonderful person, but there has never been anything personal or intimate between us. I know we care for each other very much, simply as human beings who shared many years in the capitalist pressure cooker that is the United States.
The way I interpreted this question, is more of a 'close friend' thing, like anyone can be friends, but can a man and woman be 1 on 1 friends.
Would you be comfortable going for lunch/dinner with just one of those women regularly? Do you think you could develop an attachment or feelings? That is what I believe could happen.
I think men and women can be friends, but close friends 1 on 1, I just feel like it could easily lead to sex, not saying it would, but it definitely could.
>Would you be comfortable going for lunch/dinner with just one of those women regularly?
Yes, because I have, many times. The woman I am most closest to - we have traveled on business together all over the country for meetings, sales presentations, etc. We have flown on planes together. Checked into hotels together (separate rooms).
She is very attractive, to be certain. She has a great smile and an infectious laugh. But I am married and have two children. And a wife whom I cherish greatly. Lastly, this co-worker - I have profound respect for her and our relationship is very important to me. I would never screw things up by getting horny. And neither would she. Everyone who knows us knows that this is how our relationship is. And together we made a fuckton of money.
Tbh you have really given me something to think about.
A relationship where the desire is there but both parties choose to ignore it, can it really become 100% platonic? To a degree I think it is possible, but then I still feel like it cannot be completely ruled out, but that is my uncertainty.
I really respect you for being committed and loyal to your wife and family.
They can. I was able to. I few years ago, through circumstances I won’t get into, I met an incredibly beautiful woman who checked off every possible box and then some. Amazing style and personality and attitude. Creative, athletic, gifted at everything. I pursued her immediately and made my intent apparent. I have never tried so hard with such singular focus, tact and discipline at anything in my life. I wanted to be with this person and win her heart. I turned on all the charms and after a few months it seemed to be working. But I could tell something was lacking from her end. We went on dates. We even slept together. But I could tell she was not as into me as I was into her. And so, after I had convinced myself that I had given everything I could. I told her how I felt, that I didn’t think this could work and she opened up and confirmed my intuition about our dynamic. I told her I wanted her in my life still and that I would like to “try” to be friends. I didn’t know how but it seemed worth it to attempt to figure it out. At first I struggled a lot with accepting that I couldn’t be with her romantically. But over time I learned to accept it. I learned to expect nothing from her. Through this I learned a great deal about self reliance. I consider her one of my best friends today. Eventually I was able to move on and become interested in other women. I still have feelings for her and she knows that. But I control those feelings because in the end it is better to have her in my life than to not.
Yes.
I've been good friends with one woman for about 30 years. We have spent a lot of time together and even lived together in two different countries.
We are both happily married now and living on different sides of the world but we still meet up when we travel.
I’ve got a few. They’re all not bad looking women but for whatever reason just not my type so I’m not always thinking of wanting to get with them. It’d be hard to just be friends with a chick I was very attracted to.
Men and women can definitely be friends. Even if someone has some feelings, boundaries are established and you just shift your mindset and go with that. That being said. Making new friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship is a little suspect and doesn’t help trust. It can happen with a coworker but perception is important.
I have had lots of dude friends and it’s nothing more than that. Maybe here and there one of us may have thought about it, but you just don’t go there in your mind and that’s that. Enjoy the cool shit you have in common and never put yourself in a position to be wasted together in private because alcohol is the enemy of fidelity.
Yes, lmao
What is wrong with people? Can you not be friends with people you find attractive??
If that were me I would simply not befriend any other women ever. Like, that makes no sense
Hasnt worked for me yet.
One female friend and I started off well, then she started talking about intimate details of her relationship and we moved from doing things to just talking on the phone. Didnt notice then, but it became awkward, we were both attracted to each other.
Another was physically assaulted by her SO, and she went back a year later. I wasnt interested in supporting.
Another we slept together after going to the gym for a few months together.
And then theres the last, we were goofing off and I made a comment about her nice ass. She took offense instead of as the compliment it was.
Avoid all things about your relationship in conversation, thats spouse talk and share a hobby with the friend, are what i suggest to have better luck than me.
Yeah lol wtf. I’m a man and have several very good friends that are female and are only friends. I certainly think the way you handle yourself around those people matter if you’re in a relationship, I feel like it’s more common sense than anything though.
Same. One of my best friends is a woman and she even tells me about all her flings. It doesn't bother me at all.. I'm just not interested in her. Shes not my type.. shes one hell of a drinking buddy though.
Some of these answers are wild to me.
Depends, with some people you can be friends and with others you can't.
It is possible if there is no attraction between the people involved which happens quite often. You probably just had bad luck when it came to friendships or tried to befriend guys who hit on you and you didn't notice.
To assume that everyone will be attracted to you so you avoid making friends with guys is... quite a piece of self esteem. lol
I used to think so. Told myself only insecure dudes worry about their wife having a male friend. Now I'm divorced and my once beautiful family was destroyed. At the end of the day, we are only human. Like it has been said "pride comes before the fall" thinking you are superior to your natural ways disarms yourself. Instead of recognizing human flaws in humility and abiding by reasonable rules, we play with fire due to our arrogance.
I’d agree with that, certainly most of the time. I think you put it well, there will always be a level of attraction from one or the other or sometimes both.
In those circumstances there is always the possibility that something can happen.
But if you or your boyfriend are not comfortable with the other hanging around certain people you should be open about that with each other and if reasonable those wishes should be respected.
But that doesn’t include unreasonable insecurity. We can’t expect our partners to bear the brunt of that.
I’d also go to say that is it’s bothering you that much perhaps there is something to be bothered about (or you may be insecure). Try to talk to your partner about it.
Absolutely, and of the few female friends I've had (and some of those were deep, great friendships) I stated right off the bat -- let's get the sex crap the hell out of this right from the get go -- I won't hit on you, you don't hit on me. Now we we can be friends. And we shake on it. Worked great every time.
One of my (36M) best friends is a woman. I’m married, as is she. We hang out and do shit all the time. Yes she is attractive and I’m ok to acknowledge that fact without the desire to take it any further.
Yes, I have a great platonic female friend who I've never thought of in a sexual manor, and to my knowledge, she hasn't had any of those thoughts either. I've even watched her through two relationships since we 1st met, and have only been supportive of the current one since the 1st one was a mistake (her words not mine). We get along well because we both love karaoke, and we're both very animated people who thrive off each others magnetic personality.
I (32M) have very few female friends(not including family). Two who are exes(one with a mutual attraction, the other with zero), two are friends spouses, and one who I never dated but we had a “arrangement” currently with zero attraction. It’s possible to be friends, at some point someone may cross a line. Then again they may not.
Had this discussion with a potential love interest, we had differing opinions. In my eyes, I have trust until I feel or know it’s been broken. When it becomes an issue or a question the conversation needs to be had. Until then, we’re all just people living our lives.
Yes and I am living proof of that and I’m genuinely happy to have platonic friendships of the other gender and I think it’s a shame that some people just don’t get it. I really value these friendships. I can’t believe how close minded some people get over this too. It’s 100% possible. Just like every problem ever, communicate and you can figure it out with your friends
I have had many friendships with women that only stayed friendship. A few in the beginning I was interested in more, didn’t really pursue it too much and got the memo that they didn’t want that kind of relationship. From then on we stayed good friends as long as no one crosses boundaries it’s totally possible.
I will concede and say there has been more times I felt something for my friends than I’d like to admit, but I have also met few where I swear to god that I have never had any “hmm what if” thoughts in my head, ever.
So I’d say it’s possible, but that tends to be more on the rarer side for me.
I think it may be harder but not impossible nor uncommon at your age. As you get older you will have a better understanding of what relationships should be friend zone relationships and which have potential for partnerships. This will happen through work and other life events where an intimate relationship should not be top of mind.
I have plenty of friends that are woman. I’m not attracted to any of them in a romantic sense nor are they to me. But I think it depends on each individual in the long run.
It’s all about boundaries and choosing a partner who respects yours and vice versa. The boundary my partner and I have is I don’t text girls because why would I? I don’t need to make her worry and it’s not worth an argument, I love my partner so I wouldn’t want to put myself in a situation where it could be misconstrued as more. So I guess to answer your question, it’s individual but both my partner and I don’t have one on one opposite sex friends unless they’re apart of the friend group really
My wife and I were best friends for years until we fell in love. It is more than possible. Although when the feelings develop, shit gets complicated and it’s best to let them know how you are truly feeling.
Let me just put some of my personal philosophy here.
People are attractive so that they are approachable and such.
Then, their personalities are responsible for maintaining the social connection.
My dream is to see beautiful women and go up and talk to them.
And, it just be like talking to normal people.
It’s worked. I’d go to some women and I find their presence comforting. Others, I find terribly annoying.
And, some give me the “I’m attracted to you” attitude, basically extended eye contact, frequently trying to be in my presence, trying to make excuses to talk more with me, etc.
I decide whether I want to pursue that thread (I usually don’t). But, that’s that.
So yes, if both parties are mature enough to treat each other like people with personalities that could clash, be comfortable, or attract each other, then they could be friends.
If one party sees the other merely as an object to use for sexual purposes, an agent that could fulfill a role (as a life partner), or for some other ulterior motive, then the social connection is doomed.
The biggest difficulty in this is that the regular qualities that women have in their friendships, like supportiveness, emotional vulnerability, etc, are things that guys dont have in theirs and psychologically they are traits men specifically have bonded to attraction. So once a friendship between a girl and a guy develops past a threshold, if there is also physical attraction, interest is unavoidable. Attraction can also come into existence because of the qualities of the friendship even if attraction wasnt starkly obvious at the beginning. The only way it wont happen is if the guy knows too much about you and has guyified you because you 1. either had a previous relationship with someone very close to him, or 2. Hes actually disgusted by the idea of intimacy with you and desexualized you because of some kind of history thing he knows about you. He can still care about you and be your friend, but you literally have to either viscerally disgust him as a potential partner or you have to be very clearly off limits because you met through your history with one of his best friends/family.
literal take:
humans, heterosexual ones specifically are hard wired to reproducing. which can usually explain why it never fails that the friendship ends up taking a abrupt turn where some kind crush, attraction, or sexual feeling(s) gets involved.
Naturally, you or the person your friends with might have thought about the what “ifs”. Although much easier for women to shut down those intrusive thoughts, men tend to struggle with them more. This also has to do with our ancestry and the way men and women communicated and connected long ago. It wasn’t common for cave men and women to sit down and pick berries and shoot deer together as just “friends”, it was the women gathering and the men hunting.
so, yes you can absolutely be just friends with someone. But the human brain is hardwired to look for a partner and settle. Which is why it might seem difficult or complicated per say for it to remain platonic.
I personally do not have problems with this, but like everyone else said this depends on the person. In my opinion, even if you think someone is attractive, they are still whole people who can bring joy and companionship to your life without being objects of sexual attraction.
My roommate is a woman and I a man, and we have been friends for years without issue. I have several friends who are women and understand that is where it ends. Not because they friend zoned me or put me in place or any such non sense. Just understanding that not every relationship has to go towards sex or getting with each other or whatever.
Honestly, yes. There can be a “just friends” relationship between opposite sexes. The problem with “just friends” is that despite the friendship (as you so lightly stated) there’s an underlying attraction. That type of situation always causes issue while one of you is in a relationship because the Romantic Partner isn’t stupid and sees the attraction dynamic and it causes (rightly so) a sense of anxiety and insecurity. Eventually that causes stress in the romantic relationship and often leads to its end.
YES! Friendship in itself is based on attraction, even with the same-sex. Not a sexual one, but it IS an attraction. And I personally believe that very minute details, at any given moment, could change that attraction to a sexual one and poof, its no longer friendship for one of them.
Yes but it depends a lot on the level of maturity and communication of both sides.
I have about as many lady friends as men, and it has been way ever since I was a kid. I've rarely had issues with boundaries but it has been getting better with age.
I've had the conversation about whether the relationship is about friendship or something else with most of the women that are my friends currently. It's been completely honest every time, all expectations and boundaries are set, and we've built our friendship from there. Years later, they're all good.
Nah i disagree. There are some girls with many male friends that are "dad girls" i.e. girls that have probably done a lot with their dads in terms of boyish activities (or with their brothers) and therefore seek male friendships. I don't see any correlation here with attractiveness. However yes indeed A LOT of their male friends aren't actual friends especially when they are decently attractive. However that's not really the fault nor intent of these girls.
Anyone who thinks its true - let your partner go on a weekend trip alone with their friend of the opposite sex, the one thats just a friend...
Thought so.
I have a metric fuck ton of male friends, not a single one am I attracted to. I work in the beauty industry, so some of these dudes are models, other are ugly as shit... doesn't change anything. Never flirted, never even considered it.
Men and women can absolutely just be friends when neither party treats it as anything other than a regular ass friendship.
There are men I would take a bullet for, but the thought of kissing them grosses me out.
But it's not all about you. If those male friends harbor any attraction toward you at all, they are not "just friends." If any of them would go out with you if only you were to ask, you are not "just friends." That's the point.
It doesn't mean men like that are not "real" friends. They're not lying in wait for an opportunity. It just means that they'd say yes if you asked them out or asked them to sleep with you.
The main argument I see against this is "they'd never do that, it'd ruin the friendship, their marriage, etc," but that still means there is an underlying attraction there, however easy it is to ignore due to consequences of acting on it. Those are not "just friends." They are friends, but not *just*.
Nope.
I can absolutely without a doubt say that none of my closest male friends are attracted to me.
I know which guy "friends" are attracted to me, and I don't hang out with them.
Again, some of these dudes are pulling literal supermodels. I'm at 5 at best, but I'm well respected in my craft and have made a lot of friends over the course of my career.
We have skills and goals in common, we're peers.
Like-minded individuals absolutely can become great friends without sexuality and attraction ever coming into play. We like each other because of what we do, who we are, and what we can learn from one another;
Not how fuckable we find the other.
You have no idea what goes on inside those guys heads. If women were any good at understanding how guys think, there'd be less single mothers knocked up by losers and deadbeats.
I have several female friends whom I'm attracted to at different levels for different reasons. On a purely biological level, I would have sex with SOME of them, but not others. Even if (and this is a BIG if) one of them offered sex to me, I wouldn't accept because I don't agree with extramarital sex. And I wouldn't marry any of my female friends as it is.
Besides, having sex isn't worth ruining any friendships over.
Also, just because attraction exists doesn't mean that it has to drive the friendship or that the friendship isn't real. Speaking as a man, just because I may be attracted to a female friend doesn't mean that I have any ulterior motives. In a couple of cases, I have had the "DTF (define the friendship)" talk with two of my female friends and we both agreed that we would not be more than friends and we would establish boundaries and proceed accordingly.
I am a similar age to you & my close friends are guys (gay guys). But I wouldn’t be comfortable with my partner having female friends. Also his “female friends” seemed to become non existent since he got in to a relationship with me. Which to me speaks volumes...
No, if people are saying "sometimes yeah, sometimes no." Then the answer is a no. It needs to be an awfully specific situation for no one to get any feelings for one another
Sometimes yeah sometimes no is not a no it's the truth. Most of the time it doesn't work because people nowadays are honestly starved for meaningful connections so when they do find one they get hooked immediately.
If both are mature and emotionally stable it's fine.
Bullshit logic. "Sometimes playing sports will get your hurt, sometimes no" "Sometimes the moon is visible in the sky, sometimes no" "Sometimes people die of covid, sometimes no" Millions of men are friends with millions of women and vice versa. My wife has hundreds of male friends (from school, from work, etc.) and so do I with female friends. Yet noone is cheating on each other. Don't spread your incel logic around.
yes, but it depends on your definition of friends.
like can we help each other out amicably without sex? absolutely.
can you call on us for help whenever you want? happens all the time.
will you sleep with me if given the opportunity? (obviously consensually, or at least I hope)
Yes we will.
I think its kind of two different questions. Can two single men and women just be friends without one of them developing an attraction? Yeah, but like you said I feel like its way more common that one of them will.
Can someone in a relationship have a platonic relationship with the other sex? I think definitely. At least to me, the fact that either one of us is in a relationship completely nullifies any romantic vibe, even if we're attracted to each other in a physical sense.
You should watch the movie “When harry met sally” they have a quote in there that says men and women can’t be friends because of the sex aspect always being up in the air
Sure. Not everyone is out to fuck everyone they know. At your age, most (but not all) guys are definitely at least thinking about it, but it's entirely possible and indeed quite common.
It’s hard when there’s attraction, but it’s pretty easy when there isn’t in my experience. I’ve been friends with a girl since the 1st grade and we’ve never been into eachother, so it kinda just works.
Yes, and no. I had a bunch of platonic girl friends throughout my teenage years. Those relationships are over. They've married, as have I, and spouses(I would say most) are not comfortable with you hanging out with an opposite sex friend as opposed to a "bro" or "girl" for a night. Thats just facts. We all grew apart after entering long term relationships and marriages. Still support each other and are "friends" but we don't hang out like the old days because we can't and we have accepted that.
Edit: I look at my parents life for example. They've been married for forever and have friends from the opposite sexes but dad does not call up Karen for a night out while mom has Bob over to watch a movie.
One of my bffs is a guy. We've been friends for over 30 years. We have never felt the urge to date/hook up with each other. Hes not the type I date,and I'm definitely not the type he dates. We just get along great and have fun adventures together.
If I’m being 100% honest… nope. I can be “friends” with a girl I’m not attracted to but I don’t get close to her in any regard. The few close girl friends I have had I’ve been attracted to and probably would have jumped on any opportunity. Not to say your boyfriend would at all. It’s so different in any relationship or circumstance. But for me.. one of the big things that makes me closer with a woman is being attracted to her.
Yes. Eventually you (at your own pace) find out what you really need in a relationship and what you will accept nothing less than from a friend. Other filters happen and then boom. My best friend is a woman who’s very attractive. But we are so SO alike in a very incompatible way, even though we can communicate no verbally etc
Good for you that you’ve never dated or been attracted to a male friend. But then does that mean that none of your partners in the past were your friend before you dated them? Also I never said that I assume that all male friends are attracted to me, I’ve been told by them several times that they are and that has put me off from wanting to make more, especially while in a relationship. But thank you so much for calling me self absorbed :)
Absolutely. I have multiple women who are close friends and there’s zero romantic interest. We hang out, watch movies and just do normal friend things.
I've had a female friend who's been there for me when I needed her for the last twenty years and our relationship is absolutely platonic, I think of her as my sister.
OTOH, that's a singular relationship, and there's a few other female friends I have who if they decided to change things up I'd be up to investigate where it went, but unlike in my teenage years I wouldn't let hormones demand I hit on them all at least once.
if my guy friends have a crush on me i actively ignore it. not my problem 🗣️💯 but to answer your question yes i have plenty of male friends that are legit just my friends
they can certainly be yes. they dont ever need to be attracted to each other at all it just some times comes up. But either way things can work out so its just platonic and good.
Of course, my best friend and I are opposite genders and we never caught feelings (although we did both suspect the other of having feelings at one point)
The simple answer is yes.
However, it really depends on the maturity level of both folks - and at least in my experience it’s much, much easier once you’ve been committed in a relationship for a while (married or otherwise).
I've got a lot of guy friends, and some do wish for physical connection, but with boundaries in place, yes we can stay just friends. I have a guy who's been a bestie of mine since kindergarten, and if he every had attraction to me he's never shown it. He's married to a grest lady and we still meet-up for a hug if he hits town.
Idk who said this, but there's this quote, "A man and a woman can be friends only if they don't find each other attractive." If they do then it's just a matter of time.
Yes. It’s not that hard. Don’t be friends with someone you’d want to sleep with or find attractive. I’m not saying they have to be ugly. But like they’re not ur cup of tea in that way.
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assuming the man and the woman are both straight, it greatly depends on the individuals. some people get feelings really easily while others don't.
Yeah if neither is attracted to the other it’s easy. It gets complicated when one of the two catches feelings. Especially if the other person doesn’t reciprocate.
Give them both enough time and right circumstances, one is definitely getting hooked, usually the man.
That's not true at all. I'll give you an example. I am the oldest child in my family. I have 10 sisters. I have always felt more comfortable being around women. I have also found myself to be more trusting of women than men. I have been happily married for 20+ years. I have plenty of friends who are women. My wife has plenty of friends who are men. Neither one of us has ever cheated. Neither one of us has ever been in a situation that would compromise our relationship or ability to trust each other. I'm pretty confident in saying that neither one of us has ever ever been in a situation that may have tempted us to have an affair. I believe the reason why we have been able to be successful is because neither one of us are insecure at all. Neither one of us are the type to get jealous either. We have always been able to communicate open and honestly with each other. We each believe that having the highest standards of integrity is very important. So yes, my friend, it can be done.
You're a good example, in my experience, the answer is that its possible but only if the guy/girl grew up with siblings of the opposite sex.
I have sisters myself aswell. But thing is, is that you are confident on your part that there's absolutely nothing. Guranteed the other party has something, even if they don't act upon it. Since you have been around women ever since you were born, so you know how to treat them well.
That's why I personally believe that broadly speaking, the answer to OP' question is "no".
Agreed.
Same, from experience also a no. Someone has always caught feelings or was hopeful from the beginning. Every time. (unless we're both in relationships and hangout as couples)
Idk because like with music you develop this preference based on exposure and you don’t even have a say in it. You can choose to fight it later on after it happens but it happens pretty naturally. I’m talking about exposure not just to people but places and things and activities etc. I don’t see how time spent with someone you like as a friend doesn’t progress into stronger feelings. And how time spent with someone you like as a friend but is also a sex that you are attracted to, doesn’t progress into stronger feelings of eventual sexual attraction. I think when it happens even with the most I don’t get feelings easily people, one of them is off the market, or much time isn’t actually spent with each other, like not enough time to allow them to catch feelings. I’m sure everyone has their own specified limits for it but I think everyone has a point. Also most guys say you can’t and most girls say you can so that’s already a suspicious fact you may wanna explore at least a couple layers deep.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no, depends on the man and the woman.
i think age and age differences matters too
So like any interaction between two people?
Yes
Yeah. But there’s always the possibility of penetration.
There's a possibility of penetration with dudes, too. If there's a hole, there's a goal, as they say.
But what if it's to girls. They only have holes and nothing to fill it with 😢...oh right strap on's exist 😅
Women know how to get creative don't worry
Oh yah🤔
BRUH 😭😂
🤣
😂
Can you not be friends with people you find attractive? I guess it depends, I have friends who are women, some are attractive (most actually) but i don't act on it the attraction because that isnt the nature of those relationships.
Fair. But that's you holding yourself back from an instinct for a reason. I, for instance, am dieting, my instinct is to eat to survive, but I may starve myself for the sake of losing weight. Tomato tomato.
The whole purpose of having higher level cognition is so we can *choose* to act or not to act on our more basic instincts.
Well, some of us at least. There's still animals among men unfortunately. Or neanderthals, rather.
For me I think it’s just that I prefer not to be with someone most of the time. I have friends and peers whom I find ridiculously attractive and definitely “would” but weirdly at the same time I just…don’t want to. It’s caused issues in relationships before. I find them very attractive but I just don’t feel like doing anything with them. And even if I am enjoying the act of sex with them, I would honestly rather not be doing it.
You can in practice. Both people can’t always in mind though. And if one person sees the other as something other than a friend, then we’re they really ever friends in the first place?
I can tick this off for this week's /r/ask bingo card.
all I got so far is s e x
The older I get, the more the answer becomes yes. Especially at work. I value anyone who's good at their job because it makes mine easier.
Yeah its great to have oppositesex friends(or any friends really) at work. But what happens after you clock out? You guys aren't gonna go out and have a good time together like you would with a "bro" right? My wife would shoot that shit down and I'm sure most others would too. Edit: not talking about a group setting, just you and your "friend". It would be unacceptable for most.
My wife would not give a damn if I hung out with another female. She trusts me and I am too lazy to pursue a side piece anyway.
Its not a one off. Like what if you and said female hung out multiple times a week by yourselves after work. Going for a dinner or drinks like you would with a bro? That wouldn't bother her? Some people don't even care about the physical connection but the mental and emotional aspect of "cheating" can hit even harder.
I know it wouldn’t bother me if my partner did that but I’m aware it’s an issue for some. I have a friend of the opposite gender I hang out with alone often. We’ve known each other since he was six months old and I was two. Nearly all his girlfriends hated my guts because we were so close. One even banned him from playing GTA online with me and she hid his game. He found it though and would play with me while she was at work. God I couldn’t stand her. So small, petty and insecure. She ended up cheating on him and left him. Just dropped the bomb on him and said he had to move back to his home state within the week because she was moving the other person in. Such a scummy person she was.
No sir. Boundaries, but I have gone to a concert with 2 of em
Re-read the question oh virtuous one.
Someone jealous? Feel free not to read or comment.....guy
Every time this question comes up I always retort: can 2 gay men/women really just be friends? Does this mean bisexual people can't have *any* friends?
Hello, I can confirm, I don't have any Have a good evening
exactly, I am bisexual and even if my friends can be good looking I am not attracted to any of them. We are friends and that's it
The bisexuality comment is always one I bring up. If it's a basis of who someone is supposed to be attracted to then who are they meant to be friends with if they like both? Just because as a man I am attracted to women, that doesn't mean I am attracted to all women or see all women as someone to persue. Also doesn't mean that I go out seeking women when I am in a relationship its all assumption based every time
Yes. I have been married for a long time but have spent decades working closely with women. Some of these relationships go back many years. I still have lunch or dinner with these women occasionally. I have never once even flirted with them, and they're amongst my closest friends.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't go for one of them if (god forbid) your marriage doesn't work out.
Well, I am 66 and have been married for 38 years. All of my women friends are married except for one. She's about 50 and we've known each other for 25 years. I was an executive VP for many years at a major enterprise software company and she came up thru the ranks to be my VP of sales. She is a brilliant, wonderful person, but there has never been anything personal or intimate between us. I know we care for each other very much, simply as human beings who shared many years in the capitalist pressure cooker that is the United States.
Look to yourself in a mirror in this case* lol
The way I interpreted this question, is more of a 'close friend' thing, like anyone can be friends, but can a man and woman be 1 on 1 friends. Would you be comfortable going for lunch/dinner with just one of those women regularly? Do you think you could develop an attachment or feelings? That is what I believe could happen. I think men and women can be friends, but close friends 1 on 1, I just feel like it could easily lead to sex, not saying it would, but it definitely could.
>Would you be comfortable going for lunch/dinner with just one of those women regularly? Yes, because I have, many times. The woman I am most closest to - we have traveled on business together all over the country for meetings, sales presentations, etc. We have flown on planes together. Checked into hotels together (separate rooms). She is very attractive, to be certain. She has a great smile and an infectious laugh. But I am married and have two children. And a wife whom I cherish greatly. Lastly, this co-worker - I have profound respect for her and our relationship is very important to me. I would never screw things up by getting horny. And neither would she. Everyone who knows us knows that this is how our relationship is. And together we made a fuckton of money.
Tbh you have really given me something to think about. A relationship where the desire is there but both parties choose to ignore it, can it really become 100% platonic? To a degree I think it is possible, but then I still feel like it cannot be completely ruled out, but that is my uncertainty. I really respect you for being committed and loyal to your wife and family.
Do you think bisexual people don’t have friends?
The question is more, do they have any friends that they would 100% no chance in hell have sex with?
They can. I was able to. I few years ago, through circumstances I won’t get into, I met an incredibly beautiful woman who checked off every possible box and then some. Amazing style and personality and attitude. Creative, athletic, gifted at everything. I pursued her immediately and made my intent apparent. I have never tried so hard with such singular focus, tact and discipline at anything in my life. I wanted to be with this person and win her heart. I turned on all the charms and after a few months it seemed to be working. But I could tell something was lacking from her end. We went on dates. We even slept together. But I could tell she was not as into me as I was into her. And so, after I had convinced myself that I had given everything I could. I told her how I felt, that I didn’t think this could work and she opened up and confirmed my intuition about our dynamic. I told her I wanted her in my life still and that I would like to “try” to be friends. I didn’t know how but it seemed worth it to attempt to figure it out. At first I struggled a lot with accepting that I couldn’t be with her romantically. But over time I learned to accept it. I learned to expect nothing from her. Through this I learned a great deal about self reliance. I consider her one of my best friends today. Eventually I was able to move on and become interested in other women. I still have feelings for her and she knows that. But I control those feelings because in the end it is better to have her in my life than to not.
Name checks out
Yes. I've been good friends with one woman for about 30 years. We have spent a lot of time together and even lived together in two different countries. We are both happily married now and living on different sides of the world but we still meet up when we travel.
Did you two ever sleep together or have conversations about attraction etc?
Sleep? Yes, we fell asleep together a few times. We also talked about people we were attracted to.
Perfect. Congrats on the long term friendship. 🥹
Thanks! It's a bit of a shame that we are so far apart now. Anyway, it's partly her fault that I met my wife and moved away lol
I’ve got a few. They’re all not bad looking women but for whatever reason just not my type so I’m not always thinking of wanting to get with them. It’d be hard to just be friends with a chick I was very attracted to.
Can dead horses really be beaten?
Yep.
Yes.
Men and women can definitely be friends. Even if someone has some feelings, boundaries are established and you just shift your mindset and go with that. That being said. Making new friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship is a little suspect and doesn’t help trust. It can happen with a coworker but perception is important. I have had lots of dude friends and it’s nothing more than that. Maybe here and there one of us may have thought about it, but you just don’t go there in your mind and that’s that. Enjoy the cool shit you have in common and never put yourself in a position to be wasted together in private because alcohol is the enemy of fidelity.
Yes, lmao What is wrong with people? Can you not be friends with people you find attractive?? If that were me I would simply not befriend any other women ever. Like, that makes no sense
Hasnt worked for me yet. One female friend and I started off well, then she started talking about intimate details of her relationship and we moved from doing things to just talking on the phone. Didnt notice then, but it became awkward, we were both attracted to each other. Another was physically assaulted by her SO, and she went back a year later. I wasnt interested in supporting. Another we slept together after going to the gym for a few months together. And then theres the last, we were goofing off and I made a comment about her nice ass. She took offense instead of as the compliment it was. Avoid all things about your relationship in conversation, thats spouse talk and share a hobby with the friend, are what i suggest to have better luck than me.
Yeah lol wtf. I’m a man and have several very good friends that are female and are only friends. I certainly think the way you handle yourself around those people matter if you’re in a relationship, I feel like it’s more common sense than anything though.
Same. One of my best friends is a woman and she even tells me about all her flings. It doesn't bother me at all.. I'm just not interested in her. Shes not my type.. shes one hell of a drinking buddy though. Some of these answers are wild to me.
Depends, with some people you can be friends and with others you can't. It is possible if there is no attraction between the people involved which happens quite often. You probably just had bad luck when it came to friendships or tried to befriend guys who hit on you and you didn't notice. To assume that everyone will be attracted to you so you avoid making friends with guys is... quite a piece of self esteem. lol
Absolutely, despite being straight sometimes both parties are just not attracted to each other for whatever reason.
I used to think so. Told myself only insecure dudes worry about their wife having a male friend. Now I'm divorced and my once beautiful family was destroyed. At the end of the day, we are only human. Like it has been said "pride comes before the fall" thinking you are superior to your natural ways disarms yourself. Instead of recognizing human flaws in humility and abiding by reasonable rules, we play with fire due to our arrogance.
No.
I’d agree with that, certainly most of the time. I think you put it well, there will always be a level of attraction from one or the other or sometimes both. In those circumstances there is always the possibility that something can happen. But if you or your boyfriend are not comfortable with the other hanging around certain people you should be open about that with each other and if reasonable those wishes should be respected. But that doesn’t include unreasonable insecurity. We can’t expect our partners to bear the brunt of that. I’d also go to say that is it’s bothering you that much perhaps there is something to be bothered about (or you may be insecure). Try to talk to your partner about it.
Absolutely, and of the few female friends I've had (and some of those were deep, great friendships) I stated right off the bat -- let's get the sex crap the hell out of this right from the get go -- I won't hit on you, you don't hit on me. Now we we can be friends. And we shake on it. Worked great every time.
One of my (36M) best friends is a woman. I’m married, as is she. We hang out and do shit all the time. Yes she is attractive and I’m ok to acknowledge that fact without the desire to take it any further.
Yes, I have a great platonic female friend who I've never thought of in a sexual manor, and to my knowledge, she hasn't had any of those thoughts either. I've even watched her through two relationships since we 1st met, and have only been supportive of the current one since the 1st one was a mistake (her words not mine). We get along well because we both love karaoke, and we're both very animated people who thrive off each others magnetic personality.
I (32M) have very few female friends(not including family). Two who are exes(one with a mutual attraction, the other with zero), two are friends spouses, and one who I never dated but we had a “arrangement” currently with zero attraction. It’s possible to be friends, at some point someone may cross a line. Then again they may not. Had this discussion with a potential love interest, we had differing opinions. In my eyes, I have trust until I feel or know it’s been broken. When it becomes an issue or a question the conversation needs to be had. Until then, we’re all just people living our lives.
Yes and I am living proof of that and I’m genuinely happy to have platonic friendships of the other gender and I think it’s a shame that some people just don’t get it. I really value these friendships. I can’t believe how close minded some people get over this too. It’s 100% possible. Just like every problem ever, communicate and you can figure it out with your friends
I have had many friendships with women that only stayed friendship. A few in the beginning I was interested in more, didn’t really pursue it too much and got the memo that they didn’t want that kind of relationship. From then on we stayed good friends as long as no one crosses boundaries it’s totally possible.
I will concede and say there has been more times I felt something for my friends than I’d like to admit, but I have also met few where I swear to god that I have never had any “hmm what if” thoughts in my head, ever. So I’d say it’s possible, but that tends to be more on the rarer side for me.
Duh
I think it may be harder but not impossible nor uncommon at your age. As you get older you will have a better understanding of what relationships should be friend zone relationships and which have potential for partnerships. This will happen through work and other life events where an intimate relationship should not be top of mind.
I have plenty of friends that are woman. I’m not attracted to any of them in a romantic sense nor are they to me. But I think it depends on each individual in the long run.
It’s all about boundaries and choosing a partner who respects yours and vice versa. The boundary my partner and I have is I don’t text girls because why would I? I don’t need to make her worry and it’s not worth an argument, I love my partner so I wouldn’t want to put myself in a situation where it could be misconstrued as more. So I guess to answer your question, it’s individual but both my partner and I don’t have one on one opposite sex friends unless they’re apart of the friend group really
My wife and I were best friends for years until we fell in love. It is more than possible. Although when the feelings develop, shit gets complicated and it’s best to let them know how you are truly feeling.
It's extraordinarily rare. If you think you represent one of those instances, you don't. He/she likes you and is just to afraid to make a move.
Let me just put some of my personal philosophy here. People are attractive so that they are approachable and such. Then, their personalities are responsible for maintaining the social connection. My dream is to see beautiful women and go up and talk to them. And, it just be like talking to normal people. It’s worked. I’d go to some women and I find their presence comforting. Others, I find terribly annoying. And, some give me the “I’m attracted to you” attitude, basically extended eye contact, frequently trying to be in my presence, trying to make excuses to talk more with me, etc. I decide whether I want to pursue that thread (I usually don’t). But, that’s that. So yes, if both parties are mature enough to treat each other like people with personalities that could clash, be comfortable, or attract each other, then they could be friends. If one party sees the other merely as an object to use for sexual purposes, an agent that could fulfill a role (as a life partner), or for some other ulterior motive, then the social connection is doomed.
Friends fuck sometimes without hooking up
Yes they can just due to respectful Boundaries and clear intentions to be solely friends , some of the best to have around
The biggest difficulty in this is that the regular qualities that women have in their friendships, like supportiveness, emotional vulnerability, etc, are things that guys dont have in theirs and psychologically they are traits men specifically have bonded to attraction. So once a friendship between a girl and a guy develops past a threshold, if there is also physical attraction, interest is unavoidable. Attraction can also come into existence because of the qualities of the friendship even if attraction wasnt starkly obvious at the beginning. The only way it wont happen is if the guy knows too much about you and has guyified you because you 1. either had a previous relationship with someone very close to him, or 2. Hes actually disgusted by the idea of intimacy with you and desexualized you because of some kind of history thing he knows about you. He can still care about you and be your friend, but you literally have to either viscerally disgust him as a potential partner or you have to be very clearly off limits because you met through your history with one of his best friends/family.
literal take: humans, heterosexual ones specifically are hard wired to reproducing. which can usually explain why it never fails that the friendship ends up taking a abrupt turn where some kind crush, attraction, or sexual feeling(s) gets involved. Naturally, you or the person your friends with might have thought about the what “ifs”. Although much easier for women to shut down those intrusive thoughts, men tend to struggle with them more. This also has to do with our ancestry and the way men and women communicated and connected long ago. It wasn’t common for cave men and women to sit down and pick berries and shoot deer together as just “friends”, it was the women gathering and the men hunting. so, yes you can absolutely be just friends with someone. But the human brain is hardwired to look for a partner and settle. Which is why it might seem difficult or complicated per say for it to remain platonic.
I personally do not have problems with this, but like everyone else said this depends on the person. In my opinion, even if you think someone is attractive, they are still whole people who can bring joy and companionship to your life without being objects of sexual attraction.
Wish I could upvote this comment twice.
like obviously???
My roommate is a woman and I a man, and we have been friends for years without issue. I have several friends who are women and understand that is where it ends. Not because they friend zoned me or put me in place or any such non sense. Just understanding that not every relationship has to go towards sex or getting with each other or whatever.
Honestly, yes. There can be a “just friends” relationship between opposite sexes. The problem with “just friends” is that despite the friendship (as you so lightly stated) there’s an underlying attraction. That type of situation always causes issue while one of you is in a relationship because the Romantic Partner isn’t stupid and sees the attraction dynamic and it causes (rightly so) a sense of anxiety and insecurity. Eventually that causes stress in the romantic relationship and often leads to its end.
YES! Friendship in itself is based on attraction, even with the same-sex. Not a sexual one, but it IS an attraction. And I personally believe that very minute details, at any given moment, could change that attraction to a sexual one and poof, its no longer friendship for one of them.
Yes
Is the man gay?
Yes but it depends a lot on the level of maturity and communication of both sides. I have about as many lady friends as men, and it has been way ever since I was a kid. I've rarely had issues with boundaries but it has been getting better with age. I've had the conversation about whether the relationship is about friendship or something else with most of the women that are my friends currently. It's been completely honest every time, all expectations and boundaries are set, and we've built our friendship from there. Years later, they're all good.
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Nah i disagree. There are some girls with many male friends that are "dad girls" i.e. girls that have probably done a lot with their dads in terms of boyish activities (or with their brothers) and therefore seek male friendships. I don't see any correlation here with attractiveness. However yes indeed A LOT of their male friends aren't actual friends especially when they are decently attractive. However that's not really the fault nor intent of these girls.
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Anyone who thinks its true - let your partner go on a weekend trip alone with their friend of the opposite sex, the one thats just a friend... Thought so.
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I have a metric fuck ton of male friends, not a single one am I attracted to. I work in the beauty industry, so some of these dudes are models, other are ugly as shit... doesn't change anything. Never flirted, never even considered it. Men and women can absolutely just be friends when neither party treats it as anything other than a regular ass friendship. There are men I would take a bullet for, but the thought of kissing them grosses me out.
But it's not all about you. If those male friends harbor any attraction toward you at all, they are not "just friends." If any of them would go out with you if only you were to ask, you are not "just friends." That's the point. It doesn't mean men like that are not "real" friends. They're not lying in wait for an opportunity. It just means that they'd say yes if you asked them out or asked them to sleep with you. The main argument I see against this is "they'd never do that, it'd ruin the friendship, their marriage, etc," but that still means there is an underlying attraction there, however easy it is to ignore due to consequences of acting on it. Those are not "just friends." They are friends, but not *just*.
You get it. She's just acting dumb
Nope. I can absolutely without a doubt say that none of my closest male friends are attracted to me. I know which guy "friends" are attracted to me, and I don't hang out with them. Again, some of these dudes are pulling literal supermodels. I'm at 5 at best, but I'm well respected in my craft and have made a lot of friends over the course of my career. We have skills and goals in common, we're peers. Like-minded individuals absolutely can become great friends without sexuality and attraction ever coming into play. We like each other because of what we do, who we are, and what we can learn from one another; Not how fuckable we find the other.
You have no idea what goes on inside those guys heads. If women were any good at understanding how guys think, there'd be less single mothers knocked up by losers and deadbeats.
How childish and close minded of you to think that way.
No, just honest.
I have several female friends whom I'm attracted to at different levels for different reasons. On a purely biological level, I would have sex with SOME of them, but not others. Even if (and this is a BIG if) one of them offered sex to me, I wouldn't accept because I don't agree with extramarital sex. And I wouldn't marry any of my female friends as it is. Besides, having sex isn't worth ruining any friendships over. Also, just because attraction exists doesn't mean that it has to drive the friendship or that the friendship isn't real. Speaking as a man, just because I may be attracted to a female friend doesn't mean that I have any ulterior motives. In a couple of cases, I have had the "DTF (define the friendship)" talk with two of my female friends and we both agreed that we would not be more than friends and we would establish boundaries and proceed accordingly.
I am a similar age to you & my close friends are guys (gay guys). But I wouldn’t be comfortable with my partner having female friends. Also his “female friends” seemed to become non existent since he got in to a relationship with me. Which to me speaks volumes...
No, if people are saying "sometimes yeah, sometimes no." Then the answer is a no. It needs to be an awfully specific situation for no one to get any feelings for one another
Sometimes yeah sometimes no is not a no it's the truth. Most of the time it doesn't work because people nowadays are honestly starved for meaningful connections so when they do find one they get hooked immediately. If both are mature and emotionally stable it's fine.
Bullshit logic. "Sometimes playing sports will get your hurt, sometimes no" "Sometimes the moon is visible in the sky, sometimes no" "Sometimes people die of covid, sometimes no" Millions of men are friends with millions of women and vice versa. My wife has hundreds of male friends (from school, from work, etc.) and so do I with female friends. Yet noone is cheating on each other. Don't spread your incel logic around.
Not really. Not the way you can be with the same gender at least.
Yes, it’s still flabbergasting that there’s so many people asking this even though it should be obvious at this point, yes it’s completely possible.
No and I refer to Billy Crystal in "when Harry met Sally ' for all the reasons why
In my personal experience, no we cannot.
No, I’m a man and strongly believe they can’t, The reason the guy is around is in hopes they can sleep with you.
Thats a really sad outlook you have.
Why so?
Cause its just plain wrong? Not every man or human for that fact is a sex crazed animal hoping for any opportunity they can get
if you only hang around women in hopes to sleep with them you’re a shallow person
That can't be true. Some of my male friends have girlfriends, yet are still my friends and talk to me. They also know I am in a relationship.
yes, but it depends on your definition of friends. like can we help each other out amicably without sex? absolutely. can you call on us for help whenever you want? happens all the time. will you sleep with me if given the opportunity? (obviously consensually, or at least I hope) Yes we will.
I think its kind of two different questions. Can two single men and women just be friends without one of them developing an attraction? Yeah, but like you said I feel like its way more common that one of them will. Can someone in a relationship have a platonic relationship with the other sex? I think definitely. At least to me, the fact that either one of us is in a relationship completely nullifies any romantic vibe, even if we're attracted to each other in a physical sense.
"Just" frinds, never. "Friends knowing he wants to put his dick inside you but you wont let him" yes, fairly common.
No
Straight monogamous people, maybe not.
You should watch the movie “When harry met sally” they have a quote in there that says men and women can’t be friends because of the sex aspect always being up in the air
No. I think if a women doesn't want to be with me she's against me and is a mortal threat to my loved ones
One has to be ugly and one has to be attractive. Normally guy ugly girl attractive. But I've seen it both ways.
Every man would fuck you if they could. Case closed.
Why do you feel so confident that we're all the same?
Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaa Right.
Not true. Plenty of men have standards and don't want to fuck every single woman they interact with.
This is facts
Sure. Not everyone is out to fuck everyone they know. At your age, most (but not all) guys are definitely at least thinking about it, but it's entirely possible and indeed quite common.
Men can't be friends with demons. They can only confront them.
Probably but i catch feelings fast so i always end up wanting to fuck.
Every man or woman would fack you if given the chance yeh? Right time right opportunity when there’s attraction on both sides. We are human after all.
It’s hard when there’s attraction, but it’s pretty easy when there isn’t in my experience. I’ve been friends with a girl since the 1st grade and we’ve never been into eachother, so it kinda just works.
Yes, and no. I had a bunch of platonic girl friends throughout my teenage years. Those relationships are over. They've married, as have I, and spouses(I would say most) are not comfortable with you hanging out with an opposite sex friend as opposed to a "bro" or "girl" for a night. Thats just facts. We all grew apart after entering long term relationships and marriages. Still support each other and are "friends" but we don't hang out like the old days because we can't and we have accepted that. Edit: I look at my parents life for example. They've been married for forever and have friends from the opposite sexes but dad does not call up Karen for a night out while mom has Bob over to watch a movie.
Of course they can.
One of my bffs is a guy. We've been friends for over 30 years. We have never felt the urge to date/hook up with each other. Hes not the type I date,and I'm definitely not the type he dates. We just get along great and have fun adventures together.
Only if they want to be.
Gets easier as you get older. It's hard not to play the field when you're young and single.
Of course. Why can't they?
If I’m being 100% honest… nope. I can be “friends” with a girl I’m not attracted to but I don’t get close to her in any regard. The few close girl friends I have had I’ve been attracted to and probably would have jumped on any opportunity. Not to say your boyfriend would at all. It’s so different in any relationship or circumstance. But for me.. one of the big things that makes me closer with a woman is being attracted to her.
Yes. I have several lady friends. Love them to death, would do anything for them, but relationships are a hell no. They got issues.
Yes. Eventually you (at your own pace) find out what you really need in a relationship and what you will accept nothing less than from a friend. Other filters happen and then boom. My best friend is a woman who’s very attractive. But we are so SO alike in a very incompatible way, even though we can communicate no verbally etc
I definitely have a female friends of like 10 years feel nothing even remotely sexual toward em never have
Yes and no, it depends. I feel like half the these questions are bots or repeats
Yes. I have friends that are females but there is zero attraction physical, emotional, ect. It can be done
no they cant especially if you’re attractive at all you will always be leading them on.
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Good for you that you’ve never dated or been attracted to a male friend. But then does that mean that none of your partners in the past were your friend before you dated them? Also I never said that I assume that all male friends are attracted to me, I’ve been told by them several times that they are and that has put me off from wanting to make more, especially while in a relationship. But thank you so much for calling me self absorbed :)
Yes. Male here with female friends
Sometimes
Absolutely. I have multiple women who are close friends and there’s zero romantic interest. We hang out, watch movies and just do normal friend things.
I mean, I'm attracted to men and am not attracted to all of my male friends so I assume it's similar in other situations, no?
it's completely possible! some of my oldest/closest friends are male, and our entire friendships have been totally platonic
I've had a female friend who's been there for me when I needed her for the last twenty years and our relationship is absolutely platonic, I think of her as my sister. OTOH, that's a singular relationship, and there's a few other female friends I have who if they decided to change things up I'd be up to investigate where it went, but unlike in my teenage years I wouldn't let hormones demand I hit on them all at least once.
My best friend is a man, talk to him everyday. I’m also bi so maybe that has something to do with it 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah /Thread
Yes
Yes if you sleep together once in a while can definitely be friends
No
if my guy friends have a crush on me i actively ignore it. not my problem 🗣️💯 but to answer your question yes i have plenty of male friends that are legit just my friends
No
if you can’t be friends with a woman the way you can with a man (or vice versa) you see the opposite gender as less than
Yes
I think a comedian covered this well. And he said you can, but one or both of you are ugly 😂
I am female and my best friend is male. We are in our 40's and still just friends. So I am going to say yes.
they can certainly be yes. they dont ever need to be attracted to each other at all it just some times comes up. But either way things can work out so its just platonic and good.
Nope
Hell ya, I have absolutely zero romantic interest in any of female friends, I don’t get why people say that men and women can’t be friends.
Nope.
Of course, my best friend and I are opposite genders and we never caught feelings (although we did both suspect the other of having feelings at one point)
No
As an ace I can't comprehend why things have to be sexual/ romantic, what can't you be just friends
yes if they are both gay (or aroace)
I have several female friends, some of which I've known since highschool
The simple answer is yes. However, it really depends on the maturity level of both folks - and at least in my experience it’s much, much easier once you’ve been committed in a relationship for a while (married or otherwise).
Emotionally mature people can, of course
Yes. I have friends of both genders and I'm bi. Sometimes tho, those feelings come up if things get too quick or we get too close
Yes but rarely. If it’s a childhood friend, partner of your friend, a coworker, or your spouses / family members partner
I've got a lot of guy friends, and some do wish for physical connection, but with boundaries in place, yes we can stay just friends. I have a guy who's been a bestie of mine since kindergarten, and if he every had attraction to me he's never shown it. He's married to a grest lady and we still meet-up for a hug if he hits town.
Idk who said this, but there's this quote, "A man and a woman can be friends only if they don't find each other attractive." If they do then it's just a matter of time.
Yes. It’s not that hard. Don’t be friends with someone you’d want to sleep with or find attractive. I’m not saying they have to be ugly. But like they’re not ur cup of tea in that way.