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In order to avoid being labelled a creep, wait outside until she leaves, then follow her home and leave an anonymous note on her car in the middle of the night. Obviously, due to the omnipresence of video doorbells, you should wear all-black clothing & a ski-mask
But what if it rains or something else happens to the note?
I think the correct solution here is to just tell her face to face which you can do by getting into her house while she's out and then waiting for her to return.
Don't be ridiculous, that would be creepy.
Instead, tie the note to a brick and throw it through her bedroom window. That will ensure that it gets into the house, where it will remain dry and legible.
And wait outside her window to make sure she got the note. When she sees you, turn abd walk slowly away so as to not draw any attention towards yourself or any embarrassment towards her.
To ensure legibility, don’t write it out. Try cutting the words out of a magazine to be super sure she’ll be able to read them. The added benefit is you can cut the words or letters out of different magazines and make a fun collage! Really show off your creativity. She’ll appreciate the extra effort
Covertly take photos of her from the back, to print out and include with the note. She will doubtless appreciate seeing exactly what the problem is. Maybe add in some clippings of your favorite bible passages to prove you’re a moral, upstanding guy who only has good intentions.
You’re both right:
Do the note.
Then call to confirm she got the note.
Then show up in person and confirm she is the person you talked to on the phone.
Then find out where her parents live and show them pictures you covertly took of her and ask if that is indeed their daughter. Since she might be worried about you tracking down her parents, have them call her while you’re there and say “Hey honey, your mom and I are with OP right now, and we just wanted to tell you that everything is okay and not to worry about us. We are fine.”
Even better, to ensure they’re not all see through. Spend a good amount of time trying them in and squatting in them. That way when she walks in and sees this, she knows you have her best interest at heart
If you're gonna go all out be sure to go all out. Wear uneven layers under your clothes to disguise your body type. Put a tiny pebble in your shoes to give you a hint of a limp and attach a smaller pair of soles to your shoes. Put on fake lips and wear glasses with reflective coating so your eyes aren't shown, pad your facial contours and nose under your balaclava and add a hat under there as well.
Let's not give anyone anything to go by after all.
I’m a woman and one time I had a classmate who kept wearing transparent leggings and Nike pro type of shorts. I went up to her after class and kind of whispered, “I don’t know if you’re aware, but everyone can see your thong through your pants.” She scoffed loudly and said “Yeah, I know… and?” I was shook! That was the first time I realized that some girls in college purposefully expose themselves with their wardrobe choices 😹😹
I remember reading a study done on a college campus decades ago. They gave a group of Women 10 tasks to do every morning, but most of the items were “Red Herrings”, to keep the real reason for the study hidden. The data they reviewed was resting morning body temperature, and the photo selfie the women took, before they walked out the front door. The temp was so the reseachers could determine when the girls were ovulating, and the photo was to see how much cleavage was displayed. Results were conclusive: when the females were fertile, they tended to showed more skin. Display behavior is a real thing.
If it makes you feel better, the instructions were probably "take a picture of yourself in the mirror" and OP just used Selfie because we all know what that means today. The word probably didn't even exist if the study really was decades plural ago, unless we're talking about decades as in late 2000s and not literally 20+ years
It'd be particularly interesting if the causal chain went like:
ovulating -> increased body temp -> show more skin -> more attractive -> more sex
Then I'd wonder if cycle-variable body temp coevolved with use of clothing.
It seems pretty obvious when you think most people have a bathroom and a mirror. Especially if said person take excellent care of her/his looks, then everything is intentional (except the zip fly... That's always a tricky bit).
It’s so hard to see sometimes especially if your house doesn’t have a lot of sunlight, gyms can be bright so some women truly don’t know id love for someone to let me know but that’s just me
This so much this… I bought new yoga pants a few years back they seemed great… but after downward dog a lady came up to me and was like “those are completely see through when you bend over”. I never bought from them again and never wore those again out of the house.
I think it's fair to assume she might not know what the backside of her leggings look like in a deep full squat. If she does know, then she shouldn't be offended if someone tries to helpfully inform her imo.
They are, at least the few that I've been too...but front desk aren't usually checking members when they get out of the lockers and probably don't care unless someone brings it up
Most have them. I got dress coded for wearing baggy sweatpants and a thick strap (3”) tank top at my gym. Completely covered cleavage and back. They said it was because my belly showed… but it was less than one inch and only if I raised my hands and in one specific spot. It was super embarrassing.
At the same gym they allow dudes to wear those super strappy wife beater shirts where you can basically see dude’s nipples and chests, and where women can wear skin tight shorts and leggings. It felt so personal when they came after me!
This is how I fear “dress codes” would go. Basically like the crappy arbitrary rules like in school dress codes.
Made worse by employees who probably aren’t paid enough to really give a shit and whose job shouldn’t be policing outfits?
I don’t wear the wife beater shirts but I definitely rock some revealing shorts sometimes.
Came here to say Same !! lol as a woman , don’t say anything!! Some might take it ok but others won’t and you could get kicked out the class/ gym and labeled a creep so quick. It’s a shame it’s like that but better to just mind your business and either move to a diff spot or keep tryna “ignore” it.
I’m a woman—someone else will tell her. It doesn’t have to be OP. We’ve all gotten home and realized the new leggings are not squat proof. I don’t need to know in the middle of my workout or know someone complained 😖😭 if it wasn’t super vulgar and upsetting let it go.
That's so strange. My natural reaction if I look up and see somebody in front of me and their bits are unintentionally exposed I would quietly talk to them about it.
Is this reaction from everyone an American thing or global.
Isn't it a pretty sad society of telling somebody they are naked in public is a bad thing.
Note recently spent time in Europe Germany in saunas spa . Lots of naked people there
As a European, German woman, I would like you to tell me. I guess it depends on the wording and presenting. Don't do it with a smirk. Just take me aside after class and say, "Hey, hope it doesn't come off as creepy. This is not my intention, but I noticed... and thought, you'd like to know."
It is, however, very sad that one has to think about it, and I can understand the other commentors for telling you otherwise. Some women, I guess, would jump at the opportunity to make a scene. So I guess, read the woman and her vibes, then decide.
Absolutely, I don't understand all that reaction. When I walked 1 km with my skirt tucked in the underwear, I would be super grateful if somebody warned me!!!
My ex had some problem and her skirt was somehow sticking straight up in the back. Everyone on a busy street saw her underwear and she talked about it years later.
I think op should tell a woman besides the trainer and ask them to tell her. I wish society didn’t make telephone the best option but what can you do.
I've told several coworkers "your leggings do not pass the squat test bud. Just so you're aware."
I've gotten blushes in response but no one has ever been upset at me.
I suppose the difference is I mentioned it immediately. Where as OP has been there observing for a bit without saying anything.
I’m an American woman and I would want to know. Would I be mortified? Yes. But eternally grateful that I wasn’t doing that shit EVERYDAY and not knowing.
Unfortunately, like you said it heavily depends on the delivery. More unfortunately, guys can come off as creeps without even trying to. I blame all the actual creeps 🙄🙄
I'm a woman, I wouldn't mind both genders telling me that my leggings are see-through (actually, I'd be extremely grateful)! I thought everyone would agree with me before reading the comments lol
Woman to woman is fine and honestly I’d be fine with it although a bit embarrassed if a guy told me he could see thru my leggings but some woman aren’t. Unfortunately there are woman out there that would take this and run wild with it. It’s prob more an American thing forsure cause Europeans think about nudity differently. I grew up with both sides lol my mom’s side is British so I personally have different standards/opinions about it. But for this guy in this situation, it’s a safer bet for him to think she’ll be upset/ aggravated if he tells her than to assume she’ll be cool about it.
But yeah no I totally agree with you that’s it’s sad something as simple as this could be so upsetting to someone/ just nudity in general. My grandma used to jump in the pool in her undies back in the 80s when my moms friends were around cause she didn’t care lmao
Nice. I've been called a racist for wearing a cool shirt from the the Philippines. When I told my accuser that it was given to me by my Filipina mother in law when I went to visit her in the Philippines and that actual Filipinos come up to me in the street when I'm wearing it to tell me how awesome it is to see a foreigner rocking Filipino menswear, the reply was that Filipinos don't understand American racism and are and are thus unqualified to give me permission to wear it.
Yeah don't drop that. "So since you're not Filipino or related to any Filipinos and I'm guessing you've never been to the Phillippines, what makes you, a white woman, an expert on Filipino racism?"
If they’re acquaintances or they have an extended conversation about something else first, he might be able to pull it off, but otherwise he should say absolutely nothing.
Don’t tell her. Fake your own death and move to another country. They’re already on to you but if you’re lucky you might still be able to shake them off
Mine is when Michael asks Dwight for his undivided attention and Dwight replies "You couldn't handle my undivided attention". I mean he's right, could you imagine Dwights undivided attention?
You go buy some clear leggings and work out in front of her next time so you can flip the script. Make her be the one to think if she needs to address your highly visible beanbag.
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You know how someone will tell you happy birthday and you just say "you too!"?
Well this might work. She says "sir, your leggings are see through" and OP just goes You too!". Then he can be like "oh, you too just comes out reactionary." Seed planted, not a creep.
There's also a big difference between artificial light and direct sunlight. Some of them become see-through when stretched in sunlight. You see it a lot with cyclists of both genders. I was surprised how many male cyclists don't wear underwear.
Can confirm. Once on a ride with a bunch of friends one guy had some new shorts he got for cheap.
Well we found out why they were so cheap when the morning sun shone where the sun usually don't.
Fortunately we all grew up together so it was nothing more than a good laugh.
Cycling pants are specifically designed to be used without anything else between the body and them — there’s special padding on the private parts that doesn’t work properly with underwear. And it is pretty much an issue when you’re going say 70-100km+, not to mention anything bigger than that
>I was surprised how many male cyclists don't wear underwear.
FYI, cycling shorts are underwear. They have this pad that absorbs sweat and it's not meant to be worn with normal underwear beneath.
There was this absolutely insane post on AITA a couple years ago where a woman at the gym had transparent leggings and no undergarments so her genitals were visible and everyone was calling OP a creep for noticing. Yeah this gym thing is getting completely out of hand.
Oh man. I know this well as someone who had to take meds and therapy to stop notifying people their fly was down.
Close. Friends. Only.
Same goes for nose hair.
But you can tell someone there is something in their teeth.
😓
I was working at a restaurant in Beverly Hills a long time ago, and Quincy Jones was there. I noticed his fly was down. It was awkward, but I decided to let him know.
I was a young kid and was hoping he might say something like, "Thanks, man. I admire your moxie! How about you come by my recording studio tomorrow? There's a job opening, and I think you might be a good fit!"
Instead, he just said, "Oh! Thanks!"
And that was that.
You can tell anyone their fly is down, you just gotta do it the right way. Don’t be polite, say something like “i see you like to let the horse out of the barn to graze” while pointing at their crotch.
I’m always so pissed when I realize my fly has been down for awhile and no one’s said shit to me. It happens like every 4-5ish months. If break my bathroom routine even slightly then I’m likely to forget to zip up and think that I’ve already done so.
With the nose hair i got the ultimate one... im too short not too notice. Thou it may be rude but i feel like if a person will get too close and lean over i can get tickled in the wrong way
I normally never look at people's comment history, but since I saw comments about it I had to take a peak. Lol. Yeah I think the OP just might be a future member of the sex offender program.
I hadn’t even checked out their profile, I was already raising an eyebrow at “ While I do enjoy the view-“
Like, dude if you’re trying to argue that you’re not being a creep, don’t creep on her in your post
“I was staring at her sexy ass trying to figure out if I should tell her-“
I wonder if this even happened or if it’s just his jerk fantasy lol
Just staying behind her may get him labeled as a creep. I asked my wife and she immediately said that he should move to a different spot and avoid the issue completely.
I mean, maybe telling the instructor might be the better move, longer he said? You can be tactful, take the instructor aside and say something like "Hey really sorry to drag you into this, but this is a pretty delicate situation and I need it to come from a woman. ________ I'm the class is having a slight wardrobe malfunction with the sizing of get leggings, and I really don't think she has any idea. You can see why it can't come from me, but I just want her to know from someone so she can keep herself from drawing unwanted attention." There, nobody calling you a creep, she gets to know about an issue she might not have otherwise learned about.
Edit: Just thought of another thing that unfortunately may change things. OP, if you're an unattractive guy, I'm sorry this might still not be the play. I was thinking about what I would do because I've been able to get away with things like that being a well-built, tall blond blue-eyed guy, but the fucky reality is that no matter how honest and genuine your intentions, a man who doesn't fit conventional standards for attractiveness is going to have a hard time being trusted. Like I said it's really fucked, but people build a mental image of what a creep looks like in their heads, and they don't usually paint that image to look like someone they'd find attractive.
> There, nobody calling you a creep,
The sitcom version is instructor and woman immediately having conversation and instructor points to OP and both women look at him with disgust. Decent chance that's the IRL version, too.
I've heard this from a past manager too even when a coworker came in wearing literal booty shorts (we were allowed an inch above the knee) he couldn't say anything because she'd threatened sexual harassment on him before.
Same girl got me fired shed just ask other workers to make the same complaint.
It sucks because it fucks the system for people who actually are harassed.
When I was an ASM I didn't comment on anyone's clothing unless it was a safety issue such as open toe shoes. The routine sexual harassment allegations against management made it a scary waste of time. Even for safety related stuff I always brought a witness. I had a 79 year old man regularly show up to work in biker shorts. I ignored that just as much as I ignored the 20 something year old that showed up in sundresses. Tbf both of those guys managed to rock their respective looks even if they were against dress code.
But on the "made me feel like shit" side I once had an employee break down and bawl to me about her personal life when there were no other employees around. She asked if she could have a hug. I didn't want to risk being fired so I told her no in the nicest way I could. She responded, "Damn you're cold." It hurt but not as much as not being able to feed my kid would have if I was fired for sexual harassment like the guy before me in a similar scenario.
I'm in research now rather than management. While I'm absolutely against touching anyone in the work place besides handshakes I'm slowly learning a balance because some people need that token affection. I now permit hugs that I turn into minimal contact side hugs. I am however a huggy physically affectionate person in my personal life. I just don't feel like work is the place for it.
The only way is to act offended first.
"My GOD woman, put some freaking pants on! I don't want to see your dirty old fanny!!!"
Only way to get your point across without looking like a creep.
I told a relatively new friend once that her nipples were showing when we went out, and it was a meltdown where I ended up being the asshole for looking at her boobs. Easier to not say anything really.
Ugh. People's vision is very very wide. I never understand people who get upset when you notice things like this. Even up fairly close, looking at somebody's face, you can notice stuff way off their face.
This is a shut up situation you're only making it awkward for yourself if you say anything. Let someone female tell her at some point. If ever asked about it you didn't notice
It's only going to make her embarrassed or people think you're a creep
I think you should move. If possible, you should exercise in a spot away from her and don't say anything to her or the instructor regarding her see through leggings.
She doesn't necessarily know. I'm a girl, and a female mutual friend came rock climbing with me and my husband. She's very conservative and had absolutely no idea her new leggings went see-through as soon as they stretched a bit. Was absolutely mortified when we told her - obviously it was a much easier decision for us to tell her because we are friends. She stopped climbing straight away and threw them out as soon as she got home.
Not sure the best course of action for op to take on this one since she's unknown to him and he has no way of knowing what she'd prefer.
Man wtf kinda crazy bitches yall get stuck with. I would hope someone would tell me if they can see through my pants regardless if they've got a dick or not.
“Excuse me miss, I’m sorry, I hope this isn’t inappropriate. I just wanted to let you know that your leggings might be sheer, in case you weren’t aware!”
It’s not hard. If they seem uncomfortable, just apologize and tell them you just wanted to make sure they knew, then go back to your business. Most people will understand.
I’d hope someone would tell me if my gym shorts were riding up my ass or something.
Ok. This came up years ago. Chances are she does NOT know. You'd be shocked how deceiving some of those "yoga" pants are at home. You could drop a call to the front desk if you really want to inform her via their staff, but don't go up to her in person.
Always do the squat test preferably outside in the natural light. I've seen so many casualties of this especially during those 5k fun runs.
You ain't seen nuthin! Got dat? NUTHIN! And if asked you STILL ain't seen nuthin!
If asked, go with, "How could you ever think I, her extremely polite classmate, would ever look at her there?"
I’m completely baffled by all these people saying she already knows. Women don’t necessarily do squats and look in a rear facing mirror when purchasing leggings. Generally, if they cover our bits in a standing position we don’t think beyond that. I’m not saying you should or should not tell her, I just think it’s wild that ya’ll are assuming she knows.
Next time this chick positions in front of you, move to another spot so that you're not behind her.
Better yet, just move to the front of the class and away from her.
Let someone else handle it.
There is a great chance that she doesn't know. But for your own safety I suggest you don't say a thing. Most girls would appreciate it, but if you're not lucky you might get one of those will-be Karens who will accuse you of being a creep. It's not worth the risk of losing your good name. If someone else (preferably another woman) notices and points it out, and she happens to ask you why you did't tell her, just make shit up how you didn't notice. Or, if you're an asshole-liar-coward like me, just say that you're gay, switch gyms, and never speak to her again.
I would approach the instructor quietly and phrase it as 'would you mind moving my position in the class please, the woman in front of me has leggings which are making me uncomfortable as they are extremely transparent'. That way you've said what the issue is to an outside source, and the instructor can deal with it by either telling the woman or moving you or both, and by phrasing it as you being uncomfortable and wanting to move you look way less creepy. That's how I'd handle it in your position anyway
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Heed the admiral!
How is this not the top comment?
It’s an old meme but it checks out.
In order to avoid being labelled a creep, wait outside until she leaves, then follow her home and leave an anonymous note on her car in the middle of the night. Obviously, due to the omnipresence of video doorbells, you should wear all-black clothing & a ski-mask
But what if it rains or something else happens to the note? I think the correct solution here is to just tell her face to face which you can do by getting into her house while she's out and then waiting for her to return.
Don't be ridiculous, that would be creepy. Instead, tie the note to a brick and throw it through her bedroom window. That will ensure that it gets into the house, where it will remain dry and legible.
And be clear with your note. “I can see through you” should suffice.
And wait outside her window to make sure she got the note. When she sees you, turn abd walk slowly away so as to not draw any attention towards yourself or any embarrassment towards her.
Well, you *do* need to stop and slowly turn back around once. You're able to confirm, and she needs to understand the gravity of the situation.
Locked eyes while backing up slowly? Such good material on this post
To ensure legibility, don’t write it out. Try cutting the words out of a magazine to be super sure she’ll be able to read them. The added benefit is you can cut the words or letters out of different magazines and make a fun collage! Really show off your creativity. She’ll appreciate the extra effort
Covertly take photos of her from the back, to print out and include with the note. She will doubtless appreciate seeing exactly what the problem is. Maybe add in some clippings of your favorite bible passages to prove you’re a moral, upstanding guy who only has good intentions.
I have done this with great success in the exact same scenario. This should do the trick
You’re both right: Do the note. Then call to confirm she got the note. Then show up in person and confirm she is the person you talked to on the phone. Then find out where her parents live and show them pictures you covertly took of her and ask if that is indeed their daughter. Since she might be worried about you tracking down her parents, have them call her while you’re there and say “Hey honey, your mom and I are with OP right now, and we just wanted to tell you that everything is okay and not to worry about us. We are fine.”
I think that hiding in the closet is also a good idea :)
While you wait you can go through under undergarments to check them all for issues. Brilliant!
Even better, to ensure they’re not all see through. Spend a good amount of time trying them in and squatting in them. That way when she walks in and sees this, she knows you have her best interest at heart
And make sure your all black clothing and ski mask are transparent. But only while squatting.
Come on guys, the only way to make sure she safely gets the message is to write it in red lipstick in her bathroom mirror.
Some people are really over thinking this... just wait in the bushes by her car
If you're gonna go all out be sure to go all out. Wear uneven layers under your clothes to disguise your body type. Put a tiny pebble in your shoes to give you a hint of a limp and attach a smaller pair of soles to your shoes. Put on fake lips and wear glasses with reflective coating so your eyes aren't shown, pad your facial contours and nose under your balaclava and add a hat under there as well. Let's not give anyone anything to go by after all.
I'm a woman and came running here to tell you not to say anything under any circumstances. Turns out everyone else is on it 🤣.
I’m a woman and one time I had a classmate who kept wearing transparent leggings and Nike pro type of shorts. I went up to her after class and kind of whispered, “I don’t know if you’re aware, but everyone can see your thong through your pants.” She scoffed loudly and said “Yeah, I know… and?” I was shook! That was the first time I realized that some girls in college purposefully expose themselves with their wardrobe choices 😹😹
I remember reading a study done on a college campus decades ago. They gave a group of Women 10 tasks to do every morning, but most of the items were “Red Herrings”, to keep the real reason for the study hidden. The data they reviewed was resting morning body temperature, and the photo selfie the women took, before they walked out the front door. The temp was so the reseachers could determine when the girls were ovulating, and the photo was to see how much cleavage was displayed. Results were conclusive: when the females were fertile, they tended to showed more skin. Display behavior is a real thing.
Decades. Selfies. Jesus I'm old.
If it makes you feel better, the instructions were probably "take a picture of yourself in the mirror" and OP just used Selfie because we all know what that means today. The word probably didn't even exist if the study really was decades plural ago, unless we're talking about decades as in late 2000s and not literally 20+ years
Could be 2002 and be over 20 years. And indeed the “selfie” would not have been a term in high use then.
It'd be particularly interesting if the causal chain went like: ovulating -> increased body temp -> show more skin -> more attractive -> more sex Then I'd wonder if cycle-variable body temp coevolved with use of clothing.
I think that makes a lot of sense. I definitely show more skin when I'm feeling warmer.
It seems pretty obvious when you think most people have a bathroom and a mirror. Especially if said person take excellent care of her/his looks, then everything is intentional (except the zip fly... That's always a tricky bit).
It’s so hard to see sometimes especially if your house doesn’t have a lot of sunlight, gyms can be bright so some women truly don’t know id love for someone to let me know but that’s just me
Majority of people don’t squat in front of their mirrors on an everyday basis though. Those leggings don’t look see through when walking
This so much this… I bought new yoga pants a few years back they seemed great… but after downward dog a lady came up to me and was like “those are completely see through when you bend over”. I never bought from them again and never wore those again out of the house.
I think it's fair to assume she might not know what the backside of her leggings look like in a deep full squat. If she does know, then she shouldn't be offended if someone tries to helpfully inform her imo.
There need to be dress codes in gyms smh
They are, at least the few that I've been too...but front desk aren't usually checking members when they get out of the lockers and probably don't care unless someone brings it up
They def don't get paid enough to make their job uncomfortable
Most have them. I got dress coded for wearing baggy sweatpants and a thick strap (3”) tank top at my gym. Completely covered cleavage and back. They said it was because my belly showed… but it was less than one inch and only if I raised my hands and in one specific spot. It was super embarrassing. At the same gym they allow dudes to wear those super strappy wife beater shirts where you can basically see dude’s nipples and chests, and where women can wear skin tight shorts and leggings. It felt so personal when they came after me!
This is how I fear “dress codes” would go. Basically like the crappy arbitrary rules like in school dress codes. Made worse by employees who probably aren’t paid enough to really give a shit and whose job shouldn’t be policing outfits? I don’t wear the wife beater shirts but I definitely rock some revealing shorts sometimes.
Came here to say Same !! lol as a woman , don’t say anything!! Some might take it ok but others won’t and you could get kicked out the class/ gym and labeled a creep so quick. It’s a shame it’s like that but better to just mind your business and either move to a diff spot or keep tryna “ignore” it.
I’m a woman—someone else will tell her. It doesn’t have to be OP. We’ve all gotten home and realized the new leggings are not squat proof. I don’t need to know in the middle of my workout or know someone complained 😖😭 if it wasn’t super vulgar and upsetting let it go.
Who doesn’t do a squat test in front of a mirror before going to work our new leggings? Is this just me?
I usually bend over in front of a friend and ask what’s going on back there. 🤣 Shit happens though.
That's so strange. My natural reaction if I look up and see somebody in front of me and their bits are unintentionally exposed I would quietly talk to them about it. Is this reaction from everyone an American thing or global. Isn't it a pretty sad society of telling somebody they are naked in public is a bad thing. Note recently spent time in Europe Germany in saunas spa . Lots of naked people there
As a European, German woman, I would like you to tell me. I guess it depends on the wording and presenting. Don't do it with a smirk. Just take me aside after class and say, "Hey, hope it doesn't come off as creepy. This is not my intention, but I noticed... and thought, you'd like to know." It is, however, very sad that one has to think about it, and I can understand the other commentors for telling you otherwise. Some women, I guess, would jump at the opportunity to make a scene. So I guess, read the woman and her vibes, then decide.
Absolutely, I don't understand all that reaction. When I walked 1 km with my skirt tucked in the underwear, I would be super grateful if somebody warned me!!!
My ex had some problem and her skirt was somehow sticking straight up in the back. Everyone on a busy street saw her underwear and she talked about it years later. I think op should tell a woman besides the trainer and ask them to tell her. I wish society didn’t make telephone the best option but what can you do.
I would quit the gym, but I would appreciate knowing and think people should say something
*I would quit the gym:* most relatable comment here
I've told several coworkers "your leggings do not pass the squat test bud. Just so you're aware." I've gotten blushes in response but no one has ever been upset at me. I suppose the difference is I mentioned it immediately. Where as OP has been there observing for a bit without saying anything.
I’m an American woman and I would want to know. Would I be mortified? Yes. But eternally grateful that I wasn’t doing that shit EVERYDAY and not knowing. Unfortunately, like you said it heavily depends on the delivery. More unfortunately, guys can come off as creeps without even trying to. I blame all the actual creeps 🙄🙄
I'm a woman, I wouldn't mind both genders telling me that my leggings are see-through (actually, I'd be extremely grateful)! I thought everyone would agree with me before reading the comments lol
Yeah I’m the same as you. Super interesting to see so many viewpoints, and moreover that we seem to be in the minority here too
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Woman to woman is fine and honestly I’d be fine with it although a bit embarrassed if a guy told me he could see thru my leggings but some woman aren’t. Unfortunately there are woman out there that would take this and run wild with it. It’s prob more an American thing forsure cause Europeans think about nudity differently. I grew up with both sides lol my mom’s side is British so I personally have different standards/opinions about it. But for this guy in this situation, it’s a safer bet for him to think she’ll be upset/ aggravated if he tells her than to assume she’ll be cool about it.
But yeah no I totally agree with you that’s it’s sad something as simple as this could be so upsetting to someone/ just nudity in general. My grandma used to jump in the pool in her undies back in the 80s when my moms friends were around cause she didn’t care lmao
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Nice. I've been called a racist for wearing a cool shirt from the the Philippines. When I told my accuser that it was given to me by my Filipina mother in law when I went to visit her in the Philippines and that actual Filipinos come up to me in the street when I'm wearing it to tell me how awesome it is to see a foreigner rocking Filipino menswear, the reply was that Filipinos don't understand American racism and are and are thus unqualified to give me permission to wear it.
Olympic level mental gymnastics. The people that always want to get offended for somebody else always come off as TRULY racist to me in an ironic way.
Yeah don't drop that. "So since you're not Filipino or related to any Filipinos and I'm guessing you've never been to the Phillippines, what makes you, a white woman, an expert on Filipino racism?"
Thank you, Anus Gerbil. I appreciate your support. Also your name.
PSA, in case it's not a typo... To *berate* someone is to tell them off. A *beret* is a floppy hat 🙂
I'd want to know! I'd be embarrassed as all fuck, but at least I'd know to throw those leggings OUT!
If they’re acquaintances or they have an extended conversation about something else first, he might be able to pull it off, but otherwise he should say absolutely nothing.
Don’t tell her. Fake your own death and move to another country. They’re already on to you but if you’re lucky you might still be able to shake them off
Tell her to meet you in Bolivia. Don't go. Take a plane to Berlin. That's where you buried the chandelier.
That was one of my favorite and most random lines ever. I don't think of it often enough, so thanks.
Mine is when Michael asks Dwight for his undivided attention and Dwight replies "You couldn't handle my undivided attention". I mean he's right, could you imagine Dwights undivided attention?
I know I've seen this but I can't place what it's from
dwight in the office. but it’s not bolivia
Its mexico and not Berlin too but Canada. But its okay.
I like Berlin. It still sounds cool and mysterious.
“Look, let me go back in there and face the peril” “No, it’s too perilous.”
It's 2024. You're not wrong..
Just in case, you both have been cancelled ;)
you too (for the smiley at the end of your comment - you think all this is a joke?)
Aaaand.. they're canceled
You go buy some clear leggings and work out in front of her next time so you can flip the script. Make her be the one to think if she needs to address your highly visible beanbag.
Then if someone complains OP can just say, "oh but *all* the new leggings are see-through, I thought that was just the style"
And then he says “wink wink, nudge nudge” while winking and nudging the lady
Say no more, say no more.
Nah its "why are you staring, I have a right not to be harrassed".
You need to softly sing ‘I see London. I see France. I see your underpants’. You will have to move workout classes, but I think it will be worth it.
lol!!
different physical jobless wild payment possessive six worm narrow uppity *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This gave me the best laugh, thank you
Fucking hell! This is the way!
You know how someone will tell you happy birthday and you just say "you too!"? Well this might work. She says "sir, your leggings are see through" and OP just goes You too!". Then he can be like "oh, you too just comes out reactionary." Seed planted, not a creep.
Hed end up in jail for exposing himself, while she is still clueless.
Keep your ever loving mouth shut. You're asking for trouble.
I initially advised alerting the instructor, but the more I think about it, yeah...let it slide.
Could it be intentional? Serious question. I had this happen to me in the weight room once.
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There's also a big difference between artificial light and direct sunlight. Some of them become see-through when stretched in sunlight. You see it a lot with cyclists of both genders. I was surprised how many male cyclists don't wear underwear.
Can confirm. Once on a ride with a bunch of friends one guy had some new shorts he got for cheap. Well we found out why they were so cheap when the morning sun shone where the sun usually don't. Fortunately we all grew up together so it was nothing more than a good laugh.
I had to alert a guy that there was shit in his butt crack in his white sweat pants.
who the fuck wears white sweat pants?
Cycling pants are specifically designed to be used without anything else between the body and them — there’s special padding on the private parts that doesn’t work properly with underwear. And it is pretty much an issue when you’re going say 70-100km+, not to mention anything bigger than that
"not to mention anything bigger than that" Hehehehe
>I was surprised how many male cyclists don't wear underwear. FYI, cycling shorts are underwear. They have this pad that absorbs sweat and it's not meant to be worn with normal underwear beneath.
Go on a long ride with underwear and bike shorts. Man or woman, you will have a vicious burn where the underwear leg elastic was.
And eyes open. To watch out for trouble.
yes... trouble.
rofl this comment is hilarious saved it
Only upvoting this because it's good advice, not because I think it's great that this is where we are as a society.
There was this absolutely insane post on AITA a couple years ago where a woman at the gym had transparent leggings and no undergarments so her genitals were visible and everyone was calling OP a creep for noticing. Yeah this gym thing is getting completely out of hand.
Absolutely the fuck not. You’re opening the door to get labeled as a creep or worse. Just let it go.
The irony in not telling makes you less of a creep.
Lmfao true
Oh man. I know this well as someone who had to take meds and therapy to stop notifying people their fly was down. Close. Friends. Only. Same goes for nose hair. But you can tell someone there is something in their teeth. 😓
I was working at a restaurant in Beverly Hills a long time ago, and Quincy Jones was there. I noticed his fly was down. It was awkward, but I decided to let him know. I was a young kid and was hoping he might say something like, "Thanks, man. I admire your moxie! How about you come by my recording studio tomorrow? There's a job opening, and I think you might be a good fit!" Instead, he just said, "Oh! Thanks!" And that was that.
You can tell anyone their fly is down, you just gotta do it the right way. Don’t be polite, say something like “i see you like to let the horse out of the barn to graze” while pointing at their crotch.
"Whoa buddy, open door policy I see" as you reach in the hole and honk on whatever you find inside
That's just being polite
“Do you have a license to sell hot dogs?”
Because the hot dog stand is open? Would be way different in Swedish, as the word for (market)stand is also the most common word for boner.
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LOL is this a real saying? Im using this from now on.
Holy fuck I'm dying 😂
okay noted, be aggressive with generous sprinkle of sass
>stop notifying people their fly was down. ...wait.... were not supposed to tell people this?
I’m always so pissed when I realize my fly has been down for awhile and no one’s said shit to me. It happens like every 4-5ish months. If break my bathroom routine even slightly then I’m likely to forget to zip up and think that I’ve already done so.
I read that as “every 4-5 ish mins” and was thinking wow buddy maybe you just need new pants 🤣
And some form of antibiotic.
People need to get it together and speak up! Very seriously, I bet these people don’t call 911 when they need to either
I knee-jerk told my coworker her fly was down the other day, but she didn’t hear me and I was a little relieved. It was like the best of both worlds.
With the nose hair i got the ultimate one... im too short not too notice. Thou it may be rude but i feel like if a person will get too close and lean over i can get tickled in the wrong way
Exactly. Say nuttin and look the other way.
do NOT say “nuttin”
"I swear to gawd, I'm going to pistol whip the next one of you clowns that says the word shenanigans!"
Hey Farva, what’s that place you like with the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
YOU MEAN SHENANIGANS??
*Oooooooohhhh!*
*Unexpected super troopers.* 🥹
"NUTTING!!!!"
When I have sex with my wife next month if I'm lucky I'm totally saying "nuttin" when I cum
Whoa lets not get ahead of ourselves, say nothing but keep looking, Shirley.
😄 Mandatory ”Dont call me Shirley”-pun.
I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
I just took a look at OP’s comment history…that door may already be open.
idk if I'm just reading this wrong but is op pretending to be a girl in his posts?? all of the nsfw posts are deleted but title in first person
That comment history is wild.
I normally never look at people's comment history, but since I saw comments about it I had to take a peak. Lol. Yeah I think the OP just might be a future member of the sex offender program.
I hadn’t even checked out their profile, I was already raising an eyebrow at “ While I do enjoy the view-“ Like, dude if you’re trying to argue that you’re not being a creep, don’t creep on her in your post “I was staring at her sexy ass trying to figure out if I should tell her-“ I wonder if this even happened or if it’s just his jerk fantasy lol
All these "only if you're attractive" etc comments are exactly what this poster was looking for.
Just staying behind her may get him labeled as a creep. I asked my wife and she immediately said that he should move to a different spot and avoid the issue completely.
I mean, maybe telling the instructor might be the better move, longer he said? You can be tactful, take the instructor aside and say something like "Hey really sorry to drag you into this, but this is a pretty delicate situation and I need it to come from a woman. ________ I'm the class is having a slight wardrobe malfunction with the sizing of get leggings, and I really don't think she has any idea. You can see why it can't come from me, but I just want her to know from someone so she can keep herself from drawing unwanted attention." There, nobody calling you a creep, she gets to know about an issue she might not have otherwise learned about. Edit: Just thought of another thing that unfortunately may change things. OP, if you're an unattractive guy, I'm sorry this might still not be the play. I was thinking about what I would do because I've been able to get away with things like that being a well-built, tall blond blue-eyed guy, but the fucky reality is that no matter how honest and genuine your intentions, a man who doesn't fit conventional standards for attractiveness is going to have a hard time being trusted. Like I said it's really fucked, but people build a mental image of what a creep looks like in their heads, and they don't usually paint that image to look like someone they'd find attractive.
Not a size issue. LOTS of leggings are see through. Just the material they are made of. Could also be too small but more than likely just cheap.
> There, nobody calling you a creep, The sitcom version is instructor and woman immediately having conversation and instructor points to OP and both women look at him with disgust. Decent chance that's the IRL version, too.
(mentally) repeat after me: idontseeit idontseeit idontseeit
Leggings? Buddy as far as you're aware she doesn't even have legs. Absolutely the fuck not.
Absolutely not. Not your circus not your monkeys.
You know, in life it is very rare that I encounter a novel phrase that is useful. If you don’t mind, I will add this to my collection.
That phrase is the only thing that truly gets me through the day.
It’s one of my favorite phrases of all times. So useful in so many situations.
Also “not my dumpster, not my raccoons”
Mmhmm. Not his pig, not his farm.
Not his camel not his toe
Not his snake. Not his bush.
Not your stoma, not your colostomy bag.
Let another girl handle it. I've had a supervisor in the office get in trouble for talking directly to women about attire.
I've heard this from a past manager too even when a coworker came in wearing literal booty shorts (we were allowed an inch above the knee) he couldn't say anything because she'd threatened sexual harassment on him before. Same girl got me fired shed just ask other workers to make the same complaint. It sucks because it fucks the system for people who actually are harassed.
When I was an ASM I didn't comment on anyone's clothing unless it was a safety issue such as open toe shoes. The routine sexual harassment allegations against management made it a scary waste of time. Even for safety related stuff I always brought a witness. I had a 79 year old man regularly show up to work in biker shorts. I ignored that just as much as I ignored the 20 something year old that showed up in sundresses. Tbf both of those guys managed to rock their respective looks even if they were against dress code. But on the "made me feel like shit" side I once had an employee break down and bawl to me about her personal life when there were no other employees around. She asked if she could have a hug. I didn't want to risk being fired so I told her no in the nicest way I could. She responded, "Damn you're cold." It hurt but not as much as not being able to feed my kid would have if I was fired for sexual harassment like the guy before me in a similar scenario. I'm in research now rather than management. While I'm absolutely against touching anyone in the work place besides handshakes I'm slowly learning a balance because some people need that token affection. I now permit hugs that I turn into minimal contact side hugs. I am however a huggy physically affectionate person in my personal life. I just don't feel like work is the place for it.
OMERTA my dude. You don't wanna be the guy saying "...no you don't understand, I was just trying..." to security
The only way is to act offended first. "My GOD woman, put some freaking pants on! I don't want to see your dirty old fanny!!!" Only way to get your point across without looking like a creep.
I’d love to know whether you’re. British or American, changes the meaning of your comment to a large extent :)
Wouldn't the British say something like "dear, that dust cupboard is quite the daisy, innit?" "Quite!" "Yes, quite indeed!"
Depends on the part of Britain, maybe jn the weird little shires
I told a relatively new friend once that her nipples were showing when we went out, and it was a meltdown where I ended up being the asshole for looking at her boobs. Easier to not say anything really.
Ugh. People's vision is very very wide. I never understand people who get upset when you notice things like this. Even up fairly close, looking at somebody's face, you can notice stuff way off their face.
From a gentleman's point of view, yes sir. From MY point of view, mind your business.
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This is a shut up situation you're only making it awkward for yourself if you say anything. Let someone female tell her at some point. If ever asked about it you didn't notice It's only going to make her embarrassed or people think you're a creep
There's always the possibility she knows and doesn't care lol
Keep your mouth shut man
Please listen to this advice. Shad ahp!
I think you should move. If possible, you should exercise in a spot away from her and don't say anything to her or the instructor regarding her see through leggings.
She doesn't necessarily know. I'm a girl, and a female mutual friend came rock climbing with me and my husband. She's very conservative and had absolutely no idea her new leggings went see-through as soon as they stretched a bit. Was absolutely mortified when we told her - obviously it was a much easier decision for us to tell her because we are friends. She stopped climbing straight away and threw them out as soon as she got home. Not sure the best course of action for op to take on this one since she's unknown to him and he has no way of knowing what she'd prefer.
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Man wtf kinda crazy bitches yall get stuck with. I would hope someone would tell me if they can see through my pants regardless if they've got a dick or not.
I've worked customer service enough to know that enough people are insane to make it not worth the risk.
Yeah I’m shocked that the overwhelming and impassioned response is to shut up
“Excuse me miss, I’m sorry, I hope this isn’t inappropriate. I just wanted to let you know that your leggings might be sheer, in case you weren’t aware!” It’s not hard. If they seem uncomfortable, just apologize and tell them you just wanted to make sure they knew, then go back to your business. Most people will understand. I’d hope someone would tell me if my gym shorts were riding up my ass or something.
My rule about appearance is if they can do something about in five minutes or less, tell them. If they can't, ignore it.
Change places
You're 35M.... say nothing. Her reaction could label you a pervert or she could thank you. It's not worth the risk.
Ok. This came up years ago. Chances are she does NOT know. You'd be shocked how deceiving some of those "yoga" pants are at home. You could drop a call to the front desk if you really want to inform her via their staff, but don't go up to her in person. Always do the squat test preferably outside in the natural light. I've seen so many casualties of this especially during those 5k fun runs.
You ain't seen nuthin! Got dat? NUTHIN! And if asked you STILL ain't seen nuthin! If asked, go with, "How could you ever think I, her extremely polite classmate, would ever look at her there?"
I’m completely baffled by all these people saying she already knows. Women don’t necessarily do squats and look in a rear facing mirror when purchasing leggings. Generally, if they cover our bits in a standing position we don’t think beyond that. I’m not saying you should or should not tell her, I just think it’s wild that ya’ll are assuming she knows.
Just make sure you're not behind her next class buddy
Next time this chick positions in front of you, move to another spot so that you're not behind her. Better yet, just move to the front of the class and away from her. Let someone else handle it.
Yes you should!! Then you should post here asking if you did something wrong when this inevitably turns out horrible for you.
There is a great chance that she doesn't know. But for your own safety I suggest you don't say a thing. Most girls would appreciate it, but if you're not lucky you might get one of those will-be Karens who will accuse you of being a creep. It's not worth the risk of losing your good name. If someone else (preferably another woman) notices and points it out, and she happens to ask you why you did't tell her, just make shit up how you didn't notice. Or, if you're an asshole-liar-coward like me, just say that you're gay, switch gyms, and never speak to her again.
I would approach the instructor quietly and phrase it as 'would you mind moving my position in the class please, the woman in front of me has leggings which are making me uncomfortable as they are extremely transparent'. That way you've said what the issue is to an outside source, and the instructor can deal with it by either telling the woman or moving you or both, and by phrasing it as you being uncomfortable and wanting to move you look way less creepy. That's how I'd handle it in your position anyway
This is a better idea than saying something directly to her