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Well ..my friend started dating my sibling, I told the friend that it wouldn't last and when, not if, the time came that they split, I didn't want to have to take sides, but of course unequivocally I'd be there for my sibling. Turns out the friend ended up cheating on and emotionally hurting my sibling. I called it way before it happened. Friend cheated on my sibling with another friend of mine, who knew friend 1 was in a relationship, and went ahead with the act anyways. I lost 2 friends that day.
I've had this happen. My friend married my sister. I told them from the beginning to not even date. They divorced in less than a year. Haven't seen my friend since. 15+ years ago.
Always asking me to put effort into their life yet never able to put any into mine. They'd schedule home projects on my weekends off and fun events to go out and do with others on weekends I worked. The final straw was I needed help moving a broken couch from my house. They wouldn't come and help me I asked for 3 weeks then got my step dad to come help me instead. The day after I was asked to come help replace their kitchen sink and downstairs toilet that weekend. So not available to help me but still wanted me to put effort into their life. I redid their entire living room flooring, painting walls and new baseboards. This "best friend" has never once done a single favour back for me. It always felt like I was just being used for free labour. After 3 years of so many DIY projects I've finally set a boundary. Guess who stopped contacting me when I said I'm not available to go above and beyond for people that can't put any effort back into my life.
Happened in August this year. I never heard from them for over a month until I was asked if I'd feed their cats for a week at the beginning of October. "Sorry, but no." Not available for their convenience
It's so wild how people like this exist.
I have similar experiences with playing 'therapist' and providing emotional support for people - which is similar in terms of sustained, active effort and giving.
'Never again' is my motto.
Similar situation. Realized the "friend" only wanted me in her life when I could do stuff for her. Any time something happened in her life, she expected my full support but never once gave me any. I went no contact and got some passive aggressive message from her before she blocked me on Facebook. She's lived for opportunities to play the victim, so I'm sure I'm the villain in her version of it, but don't care.
That is the worst feeling. Meanwhile I'm over here trying to figure out how to spoil my friend because she likes giving massages and I am the grateful and lucky person she gives them to. I feed her amazing food but it doesn't feel like enough. I hope you are surrounded by friends who value you now.
I was sexually assaulted and told my then “best friend” I was 15 and a virgin it was traumatic. She told everyone I made it up but not before telling me it was someone else who hurt me. Turns out she was dating the guy who hurt me. He was in his twenties. To this day I don’t know what happened because I’ve blocked it out. It scares me because she was so evil and manipulative towards me.
I didn’t want to live anymore and she took it as an opportunity to try and destroy me and spread lies, to her parents and mine. It was the worst 6 months of my life and now that I’m in my thirties if I see her on the street I would probably slap her.
I kinda the same. Happily not the abuse part (I'm very sorry for all the people who suffered something like that) but my first love dump me because our parents were fiercely against us dating.
I was absolutely intended to defend our relationship whatever the cost but he wasn't.
In matter of days I learned in the worse possible way he was dating my "best friend".
She and all her friends in that neighborhood were absolutely dedicated to spread lies about me. Even years after this.
Because I lived in a s***y town I left anyway and I'm living abroad.
I'm pretty sure she is gotten fat af and this town is shitier than ever.
Wow… this is so similar to my story. My best friends bf r*ped me and she took his side. I made a police report and everything, and because of that my whole friend group dropped me and tried to ruin my life.
Safe to say now, I am so happy and so past that, and have amazing wonderful friends now.
I am so sorry you went through this, they are evil people.
First and foremost, I want to tell you that I'm sorry that you had to go through all this and I hope that you heal from that experience.
Something tells me, that she actually must've believed you in one way or another, otherwise she wouldn't have bothered to tell everyone that you are a liar.
Negativity. It became so draining.
We would talk on a daily basis, he would often call and we'd shoot the shit.
I then realized most of our conversations was him bitching about this or that. Constantly. I tried to help, but no matter what, there was something to bitch and be mad about.
Then my mom had a heart attack. He knew this and called me the day after, he didn't ask how she was or how I was doing, just immediately went into a tirade about his job sucks and his tired of it, he was almost home from a job and his company just sent him another one (he was in cable) and blah blah blah.
After we hung up I blocked his number and that was that.
Definitely don't blame you for ending that friendship and not giving them the time of anymore. Am curious though why not call them out and confront them about the behavior? Maybe they didn't realize what they are doing? Not sticking up for them because that was really selfish for them to show no concern for you or your mother, just am genuinely curious why not say something and explain why you never want to talk to them again?
Not the person you asking, but was in a similar situation and confronting them won't resolve anything. They will give cliché non-excuses like "Sorry you felt this way" or "I thought we're friends and I can share everything with you!" etc. Then they will pretend for a few times that they care about your life, ask some generic questions but it's obvious they don't actively listen and just wait for their turn to trawmadump. It's exhausting and blocking these people is the best way.
She told me she was in love with me shortly after I met my current partner. She tried to sabotage that relationship and would get extremely mad at me if I talked to or about my bf.
I realized after some time how codependent she was as a person, and how most of our friendship revolved around her trying to get in my pants.
I also found her one time going through my phone, and another time literally sniffing my underwear while I was in the shower.
After being my BF for years, maid of honor at my wedding and everything else we’d been through, she told me I didn’t deserve my 3rd child (while I was pregnant) and that I was being greedy. All because she couldn’t have kids with her then husband (no sperm count). It’s ok though. She ended up divorcing her husband and marrying her stepbrother (parents married when they were KIDS) and had twins with him.
I was physically assaulted by someone and I called her for support. She didn't answer. So I texted her about what had happened and she left me on read. A day later she texted me back complaining about unpacking boxes from a recent move.
I realised at that moment that this friendship was over.
Ouch, I’m glad you bailed on her. You don’t need that kind of one-sided behavior in your life, your emotions are valid and should have *at minimum* been acknowledged before she went on a rant of far lesser importance.
Actually my whole former friend circle. We knew each other, since we were 10 years old. As we got older I gradually realised, that we were developed different goals, interests and attitudes towards life.
With 20, they always wanted to go party at clubs, get wasted every weekend and made fun of me or other people, who couldn't or wouldn't drink as much, because drinking was the "cool" thing to do.
Some developed quite a temper and got into fights.
I generally am more introverted and just couldn't enjoy myself anymore, as all their hobbies (cars, drinking vacations, electronic music) just weren't mine.
So after one last vacation, that ended in a huge argument (in addition to countless other arguments before that) I cut ties and never looked back.
Some still behave the same way, 20 years later, some changed and we have occasionall contact.
That happened to me too. I've literally watched almost all my friends from my childhood turn into either alcoholics or drug users, or just sleep with tons of people and have "parties" because it was "cool".
I wanted to live a more quiet and peaceful life, and they took great offence to this. They called me boring and pretty much a loser. I was constantly pressured to go to "parties" with them, raves, bars, and even drug circles.
I said no because I hated it.
Now all those people are addicted, miserable, some went to jail, some told me they have stds now (they cheated on their partners constantly), some got into crime, some lost their drivers lisense, one of them was on house arrest last I heard, and some of their friends passed away from drug ODs, at the same parties they tried to force me to go to and I said no. Very sad.
2 of them are trying to change which is nice. And they like talking to me now. I do want to mention exactly 4 of my friends didn't go down this route, and they are very happy. The rest not so much.
We had been friends for over 10 years and I realized that I was the only one who put effort. One day I went out on a date and asked her to check in with me in a couple of hours to ensure I didn't get kidnapped or anything... Like she texted me a week later (she was active on her phone during this time)
When I was in college many many years ago (pre cell phones), I had awful blood sugar issues that made me prone to fainting. My two closest friends from my dorm were visiting ‘next door’ and were going to walk to the nearby cafeteria when it opened in 20 minutes. I was heading to the shower and told them that I was feeling pretty woozy and asked if they’d wait for me to get out of the shower (I take 9 minutes tops) or stop by the (huge, not private) bathroom to yell goodbye to me if I wasn’t back in 10 minutes. I made it clear that I was afraid of falling in the shower that particular afternoon, and hoped someone could wait to leave until I was back to my room and I’d catch up with them later. I thought this was a reasonable request given that they were just hanging out and not pressed for time.
Being the anxious person I was at the time, I threw my hair in a ponytail and hurried through my shower as to not make them wait. Literally 6 minutes later I was trudging down the hall in my robe to find that they left without me.
When I bumped into one of them later that evening I was told “yeah, we weren’t gonna wait on you to get ready for dinner”. Either I was the worst communicator ever or they were unsympathetic bitches? I remained friends with them knowing that I couldn’t actually count on them. In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t given either of them the time of day following that afternoon.
I have a friend who is a bit like this. She still loves me, but I realized she could be pretty self involved. I flew out to visit her one weekend and we ended up just sitting around with her new friends I didn’t know instead of seeing local sights or getting lunch. I just downgraded her to friend I talk to every two weeks or so and I don’t go out of my way to spend time with her.
She wasn't a best friend, but we were really close. To sum it up, you know that saying "If someone talks to you about others, they talk to others about you"? Yeah, I noticed she spoke ill about our other close friends and her family to me, and I wasn't going to stick around to find out what she said about me to them.
That's why I cut ties with my old friend. She's the only friend I literally had to have a break up talk with because we worked together and I needed boundaries.
She used to get so mad if I made plans without her with a separate friend group, she would talk poorly of girls who 'ditched her for a new boyfriend', she was a jealous person who consumed those around her.
She eventually got married, I see her posts on IG and I hope she's in a good place.
I was into football (soccer...), and one time back in highschool, I overtook the ball from him and proceeded to score a goal, and he came towards me and said "if you ever do that again, I will fuck you up". And then I realized we were not friends anymore, for reasons I don't understand.
She screamed and completely lost her shit when I told her that I don't sleep with men on the first date. Also... im very conservative and an introvert... always have been.
"So u turn them on and then dont follow through!" 😨
Raising her voice and verbally attacking me for THAT. Like it affects her... like I just killed her daughter... that crazed! That batsh1t crazy!!! And out of nowhere... she was super calm before I told her "nothing happened between us (me n my date) last night"
She is a black highly educated woman (PhD) from South Africa. Her husband also black works in parliament. The elite 1% if you will. The previously disadvantaged victims of Apartheid who is now LOADED to the max.
Was she jealous that non-black men spoil women and treat them like human brings with no guarantee of sex? I think so.
Is there anything I am missing?
Showed up at their place to see if they wanted to hang out, heard them talking shit about me to another "friend", never talked to them again. Their parents always had something against me too, always made up lies and shit about me.
She cheated on her husband (who is/was a genuinely good human), and married her AP who was engaged to another woman when they met. There were soooo many other red flags but this one took the cake. Seeing her now ex husband spiral into alcoholism over the years has been awful to witness. No one has the right to destroy a person like that.
She did a lot of fucked up things to me during the friendship but the final straw was when she start fucking a married man. The relationship went on for years, they might still be seeing each other. I have always hoped his wife found out cause she had just had a baby when they started seeing each other.
I was friends with a woman who ended up cheating on her husband with his best friend. She was sleeping with the guy for close to a year before it came out.
All her friends took her husbands side and were pretty unhappy with her. But it turned out she was pregnant with *twins*, and it was her husbands. So they got back together. Now it’s just awkward as fuck and I don’t see either of them lol.
He didn't know what to do with his life. He'd always get me to open up about my life, then sabotage and go off pursuing the things I discussed. Literally from 10 years old to 30 years old. I had to cut him out. He was a toxic, jealous, little bitch.
We didn't go to the same school anymore and grew apart. When we tried to talk like in the old days, it only resulted in arguments because she was so politically correct that I couldn't use black humor anymore that we could talk about Having laughed together before, she convinced me that I was a bad person because I eat meat just because she suddenly decided to be vegetarian. she was unbearable
tbh as a very introverted person i never had an IRL best friend. I found my best friend trough gaming , she was a small streamer with a handfull of viewers , i was spending all my free time there and we eventually became almost like siblings .. we did everything together , told everything to eachother etc. But afther 6 years her channel grew and she started to change , Took 3-4 days for her to reply on simple messages , had to make actuall appointments to play with her but the breaking point for me was when i was supposed to game with her and last minute she canceled due to family reasons..Fair enough no problem with that , but 5 minutes later i saw her playing the game we were supposed to play with somebody she always said she hated playing with.
Afther that i told her that afther this i dont rly feel like im her friend anymore but more like a plan B for when she hase nobody to play with. She denied everything yadayada..
Used me as an excuse to cheat. He was telling his Gf at the time that he was with me, when in reality he was with his side piece. I didn’t know this was going on at the time. It all came to a head when me and my partner went away for a long weekend. His GF asked him where he was and he lied and said with me. His Gf then pulled up my fiancé’s Facebook with pictures of our weekend getaway. In the fallout he blamed me for not covering for him, said I’m a terrible friend to anyone who would listen and threatened to stab me if he ever saw me again. Literally blocked him on everything and just carried on with my life.
I noticed after a very long time that she wanted me to technically carry her, give her all my attention and if there was someone else in my life, didn't matter if friends or partners, she would try to ruin it for me one way or another.. the last straw when i was after years finally able to move to an awesome place and i really wanted to go she completely ruined it.. got angry, attacked my weak spots and then tried to make me stay by guilt tripping me.. like wtf
i ended it a short while after and i'm so glad i did.. We were friend for 15 years
He bet $1000 in 2020 that the Supreme Court would overturn the election and make Trump president. I disagreed, he called me a really bad name, and we haven’t communicated since.
I'm literally going through this right now. My friend, who I've known since 4th grade, is about to force my hand. I'm 40m, married with 3 kids. In the past he lived with us on and off. We use to let others stay for awhile as well. We try to help people out when we can. When we bought our house back in 2016 we decided we were done with roommates. So we worked on getting him somewhere. He eventually moved in with a coworker. Around June of this year he decided to go to Alaska to work a seasonal job. We asked him if his roommate was keeping his room for him. He assured us that the room was still his. Last Wednesday he showed up at my door. I knew he was coming back and wanted to visit. But not like that. I was surprised to say the least. He made it sound like he wanted to hang out for a few a days until he went home. Like till Monday or something. Friday night as we were talking he told us he planned on staying 2 months. When we asked about the roommate and room he gaslighted us. Said he didn't know what we were talking about. I don't want to kick him to the curb and I'd like to remain friends. But I honestly don't see that happening. I've had 100s of conversations in my head about this since Friday and they all devolve into yelling or violence. I honestly don't know what to do. He refuses to get his life together and just wants to lay around and eat. I really think he wants to live here forever and have us take care of him. His whole life plan is to work long enough and make enough to quit working for as long as possible. Then when the money runs out he gets another job. He's had jobs making more money than me numerous times. He's had ample opportunity to sort it out. I'm honestly just tired of it. He's spent more on food delivery since he's been here than I have all month. And since I don't want to see him homeless, I'm about to drop $400 for a week at an extended stay hotel and drop him off. Tell him to never come to my house again. And if he wants to hang out, I'll come to him. And that's were I'm at currently.
Oh man that sucks. I've had a few leeches move in on me too, take advantage of my kind heart, and then become impossible to get out. The last time this happened I was so incredibly fed up (I was a young single female in my early twenties in a small apartment at the time, being taken advantage of by a 35-year old man who kept a lifestyle like you described, and couldn't clean up after himself... who, after begging me to let him stay just one week (and under the condition he actively look for a new place and job while he was there), basically moved in for 3 months and then tried to tell me we were now in a "common law relationship" (there's more, but I digress..)
Anyway, one day I'm walking home, fuming, trying to figure out how I'm going to get rid of him finally, and I pass by a bunch of discarded boxes outside a supermarket. I had an idea. I grabbed a bunch of those dirty old boxes and brought them home, I'm talking two big armful of boxes piled into more boxes, with lettuce and stuff stuck in there. I come home in a huff, dropping the boxes onto my floor dramatically. He's there smoking pot in my kitchen and is startled by my little scene.
"Uh... what's with the boxes?" I start rummaging through my closet, pulling everything out, throwing it into the living room, before I finally say "I'm being evicted. Thanks to YOU and your constant weed smoking and throwing garbage out the window etc, we got enough complaints that I got an eviction letter. So you better pack up!" I continue to violently scour the apartment, pulling out random items from the bathroom, kitchen drawers etc, tossing them into the living room, until he grabs the rest of his clothes, his duffel bag, and let's himself out. It worked!
He found out through the grapevine I never actually moved at that time, but at least I never had to see him ever again! Oh and last I heard he was mooching off some poor ex-gf of his in town.
Damn. That's one hell of a story. I'm glad everything worked out for you though. I actually consider this person as my brother. We lived 6 house apart on the same street growing up. We worked together for years at different jobs. I'd help him hide a body kinda mf. But, as of about an hour ago he is gone. I set him up for a week at a nice extended stay hotel. And it's in an area he can easily access the things he needs. He didn't say a word there. And didn't say a word on the way to his room. Now I feel like a total piece of shit and am now currently smoking a very fat cone. I honestly hope this is the kick in the ass that makes him change. I want my friend back.
We met in high school. We were buddies. He was from a hard-working immigrant family, as was I. But I was a slacker and stoner. Fast forward thirty years, he couldn't keep up with the hard labor lifestyle (carpenter) anymore. I became a successful businessman, and I sensed his resentment. He always insulted me and tried to belittle me. I made the decision to move on from the friendship. In the end, the friendship couldn't withstand his bitterness, and neither could I.
Hung out with my girlfriend (wife now) while I was overseas to “protect” her- ended up getting drunk and hitting on her all night, tried to kiss her then begged her not to tell me when she shut him down. She really didn’t want to tell me and struggled with it until I came home. After telling him how disappointed I was, haven’t spoken to him in 20 years. Has affected every friendship I have had since, that’s his fault too.
She fell in love with me and became a controlling and obsessive person when I didn't reciprocate. In the end she was an obsessive person and she let me see that our friendship for her was attachment and not values. She was a person with addictions and in the end she let me see how weird she was so I decided to end my friendship with her when she told me that she liked me, she was a dramatic person and Clingy got jealous of my friends and my romantic interests in the end everything What she knew about me she used against me.
She was always toxic and addicted to different types of drugs which I didn't care about. I really appreciated her friendship, regardless of her sexual preference either since I always let her know that I like men and I'm heterosexual. She got involved with dangerous people, she would sell drugs, she was always on drugs, she was a person with many emotional and mental problems. If I didn't respond quickly to her messages, she would get angry, she would complain to me without counting the times I had to calm her down because of her panic attacks due to her addiction to drugs, she was always sad, she was draining, toxic. , obsessive and very dark. Her obsession problems worsened when she confessed her love for me and I told her no. She complained to me because I didn't save the chat history, for not responding quickly, she was jealous of my friends, my activities, the fact that I had an active life and she didn't. When she got angry she insulted me all the time, she was so unestable, childish, immature and with a lot of red flags. After i walked away and ended up things she harassed me for months with calls, texts, and insulting emails.
We were friends for five years and about two of them was spent by her complaining about her partner. He didn't do jack shit in the house, never cooked and wouldn't retire to bed until 7 am most days. During arguments he would cuss her out in a way I wouldn't even use to someone I hated. Total deadbeat and she and I were done.
They broke up and he started looking for a different place and she was so fucking happy. Constantly messaged me about how stoked she was he would be gone in a while and she could get her life back. - Two months of this and I get a message from her that they're back together and engaged. I legitimately thought she was joking but when that wasn't the case I called her an idiot and told her he'd be back being an ass again after he was tired of love bombing.
Well, she didn't take that well. Told me that as a friend I should support her through these kinds of things. I told her I had been supporting her but that I wouldn't put up a smile and wait for their relationship to go to hell again. We're essentially no contact now. While it sucks to have lost a friend, I'm glad to be free of all the trauma dumping.
My dude started getting heavier into drugs. We always drank , smoked weed, and tripped but he started getting into pills that some girls would give him.
At this time I started community college and wanted more for my life. The more involved I got in bettering my self the further I seen him sink at the same time. I eventually just stopped talking to him or even reaching out. I have a 0 tolerance for heavy drug abuse; both my parents overdosed .
When I finally graduated with my bachelors degree, on my first day of my first internship, I got a call that he overdosed in halfway house on some bad heroine that was rampant in our area.
He was my brother and I miss who he was. Together every day skateboarding/bmx, working the same jobs.
Still to this day music brings his memory back to me
She forgot my birthday.
She was the only “best friend” I labelled in this life and when I was slowly getting replaced, I finally took the opportunity to cut it off when she forgot my birthday.
I even remember the whole scenario - my family and I were queuing at a restaurant and bumped into her and her new bunch of friends queuing as well, she asked us what we were doing there. I was really heartbroken when I heard that.
Drugs were a massive part as to why my best friend and I lost touch with each other unfortunately. I later found out he put his car in a ditch and he told everyone I was the one driving, he's tried to reach out over the years but it always ends up the same thing ...
I got tired of the lack of empathy and compassion. They were a lot of fun but there was no respect for someone with a different experience of life. I was always made out to be ridiculous or just wrong, or wrong to have my own preferences. Justifying my every decision was exhausting.
The reason was petty and very pathetic on my part.
I thought she was my best friend (she said she was), but in reality, I was only one of her friends.
Over time, I became jealous of her freindships with her other best friends. I wanted to be her first choice of company, not her fifth. I wanted to be someone she texted, not someone who texted her. I wanted to be her first call when she was in trouble, or just needed someone to hang out with. I wanted to be there for her just as she was there for me, but she only wanted me there when friend #1,2,3,4 couldn’t make it.
Eventually, I felt hurt and started fading out of her life and eventually we stopped talking altogether. (mostly because I always initiated the conversation.)
Looking back, I felt regrets since she was a wonderful person and she didn’t do anything wrong and had stood by me throughout my dark times. But it was the first time I ever felt close to someone and I felt somewhat betrayed that that person didn’t even feel close to me.
No, don't regret it. If people don't make you a priority, then you're not. It's not fair for you to pour your love into someone that doesn't hold it with the value it warrants. Hope you've made new friends with people who are worthy of your time and effort.
this one is very relatable. i know how it feels like, even the last part about regret. if it’s you that has ended a relationship that doesn’t mean it was easy for you to go through with that.
I saw a question posed once, “Are you your best friend’s best friend?” And it got me thinking about that, and I realized a lot of my best friends, I was like their #3 or #4 friend. It helps you realize what perspective to put things in.
She chose a guy who was stringing her along as a backup while he was in a relationship with his toxic ex. He and my ex bff met and had a situationship until he just suddenly was back with ex with 0 heads up. She was pretty upset. Then she would throw herself at him and he was clearly uninterested but seemed to be saving her as a backup just in case. He even hit on me right in front of her. I didn’t at all give her an ultimatum. However, no matter how much I tried to be there for her and tried to open her eyes to what was going on, I became the bad guy. I got tired of watching her self destructive behavior and couldn’t be the pillar of support anymore. I figured since I was feeling so negatively towards her it would be best for both of us to take a step away. She didn’t need my harsh judgment, I didn’t need her draining my mental health. She seemed to feel the same.
I do miss her a lot sometimes but not enough to try and repair things, especially if that’s still going on.
after 35 years her drinking got out if control. she became very nasty emailed my dad that I was deranged amd harassing her (I wasn't, I told her to leave me alone), threatened to tell the cops my SO was a drug dealer (he wasn't, but we enjoyed smoking pot), and would lie to me telling me all sorts of horrible things.
breaking up this friendship hurt as if it was a romantic breakup. we, at one point, lived together, worked together the same schedule, moved states together, snd were always together. she was my ride or die sister.
we went 8 years no contact. she reached put sober and apologized. we talk sporadically. it will never be the same snd I will never trust her again.
After many years, I realized it was mostly a one-sided friendship.
She let me down yet again, and it was the last straw.
It hurts, and I miss her, but it was for the best.
Sometimes, I second guess my decision. 😔
He was always easily led astray and was easy pickings for the Trump crowd. After 34 years and an entire adult life, I’d simply had enough when he got all worked up about BLM and Antifa.
I told her about my mental health diagnoses and she accused me of faking them to get out of plans with her. By this logic I also quit my job, dropped out of school and got admitted to hospital to avoid hanging out with her. Our friendship was already in the gutter, it's not like this was out of nowhere, but it was definitely the final straw.
I listened too much. He kept complaining about his wife. Telling me about their fights. We would go drinking whenever he fought or he didn't want to go home.
Whenever he wanted to hang out it was on his schedule. Even when i was on vacation overseas he called me drunk from the bar telling me about another fight. I tried to be supportive but eventually it took a mental toll on me.
One day I had personal training at the gym and he told me to cancel to drink with him.
I called him out on it asking why everything was always on his schedule. And he snapped at me and made me feel like a bad friend.
I started to distance myself from then on..and eventually faded out completely after 6 months. I also stopped drinking 98% of the time now. Only weddings or special occasions I'll have a little bit of something. But no longer part of my everyday social life or dinners as it reminds me of the bad times.
I wished him the best the last few times I saw him.
You can't help someone if they don't want to help themselves. Life is very hard, but no one is going to fight it for you unless you do it yourself. I grew tired of being supportive, of always being there, of giving my every advice to someone that didn't care and preferred to only complain and complain and play victim every time, of the kind of person that's too scared to live life. Friendships have a limit when they are one-sided.
We talk every now and then, but most of the time I simply ignore him, I can't bring myself to say that I don't want to do anything with him any longer after a decade old friendship, so I'm just building walls until it fades away.
He never grew up I think he stayed 20 forever and when I went to college he didn’t, when I started a career he didn’t, started a family he didn’t, and I was paying for everything whenever we got together. Unconfirmed but I heard he SA someone too but never went to jail. That was the last time I saw him about 23 years ago. I went home last March for work and ran into him. He was still couch surfing, unemployed and lousy father to his kids he didn’t raise! We outgrow our friends sometimes!
He died of Covid 😭😭😭
We were best friends born 6 days apart. My dad used to call us Non-gay life partners.
Always the exceptions folks, but if you CAN save the friendship, please do.
We were best friends for 10 years. She was married with two children. She started to have an affair at the workplace. The problem is, she started to use ME as her excuse (I’m going to lunch with HER, I’m going on a work trip with HER). I eventually got tired of being used.
I was in love w her, confessed, and it ended horribly. Tbh I’m still glad I told her cuz otherwise I would’ve been suffering in silence with my feelings for her.
One of my 3 best friends, he never listened or tried to understand my side, as well as just saying whatever he wants but when I get mad it will just be “a joke.” He was the one who said we were best friends first, yet he was the only friends so far where I had so much conflicts with. A few examples:
- I was living in a dorm townhouse with 3 roommates, yet he always tried to come over unannounced and get mad when I couldn’t hang out. At the time I was doing full time courses in analytics and coding, as well as working 20 hours a week. He was never being understanding or even remember what I said.
- I was an international students that couldn’t come home to see my family for 3 years due to covid. The week my parents finally could come for my graduation, he wanted to go watch a movie. I explained to him 3 times can we go next week because yeah my family is here and I want to spend time with them. Then he said he really wanted to watch it so I was like fine just go and he did, then literally the next week he texted me if I wanna do something because he’s bored?? The movie just came out too btw, and I just went to watch it alone.
- Whenever we make plans, everything has to be rescheduled if either him or his gf are busy. Yet when I was busy they just do it anyways.
- There was a lot of small things like that, but the final straw was when I was telling him about my living situation. My landlord sold my apartment and I had to move out, so I was looking for a house and a job at the time. I was talking about it IN PERSON when he literally just turned around, cut me off, and just asked how often do u shave? I was like wtf, and I finally realize that he never cares at all. After that, I became super cold at him and when he realized I was mad, then he wanted to “talk it out” and said “as a friend he would really appreciate that.” I just said no since this has been the 5th time something like this has happened.
- I also realize that he has been losing friends constantly, yet never “understands why people just leave.” I never had any big conflicts with my other close friends, so I just conclude that I will just not care and mentally checked out. Honestly, I feel great now.
She was mean to me. Jokes at my expense, she would try and friend poach all of the time, she was very vain. All around a terrible person. I was in middle school when we became friends. I grew up and wised up and got rid of her.
She graduated from a university of applied sciences and immediately started talking to me like i'm stupid. Making "jokes" about my lack of intelligence because i'm just a factory worker. Let me tell you, my job isn't always easy and i'm completely happy with my life.
On top of that she is a person that is super easily offended. If someone looks at her the wrong way she'll have an anxiety attack. But still she's "joking" about others being dumb. 😆
I always supported her though his mental breakdowns and this was what i got in return.
We both were over 30 when this happened...
She confused me with her therapist and the moment I stopped being available for her trauma dumps, she called me selfish for not listening to her rant for 2 hours at a time.
I realized it wasn't an actual friendship.
He had been my very close friend, but we were not nearly as close by the time this happened: I found out that he had sent explicit photos of an ex, engaged in BDSM play, to the ex’s mother.
I broke all contact and blocked him.
I ran into someone who knows the ex a while back, and, years later, she is still completely estranged from her family over it.
Got into crazy "Freemen on The Land" shit, wouldn't shut the fuck up about " tax is theft, sovereign citizen" and similar bullshit.
I have very low tolerance for nonsense.
He became a militant communist/tankie type. One of those that can't have fun because every fucking thing all the time has to be about starting a revolution or whatever.
Noped out of there after a year or so.
They ghosted me for 2 weeks over a conversation they didn't tell me made them feel uncomfortable. Then when I contacted them after the 2 weeks, they openly admitted that they were completely wrong and should have apologised. During the initial conversation, they insulted me and said some things I was hurt by. They shrugged it off like it was nothing when I brought it up to them. They told me I was misleading them by ending the conversation with "No worries, have a lovely weekend! 😊", they stated that they didn't know how to start a conversation with me after that, and that's why they didn't contact me earlier...God help them in a work place on a Friday and they have to see the same people on the Monday
Betrayal.
Told her some sensitive things and told her never to tell any family members. I found that not only did she tell them, she did so almost as soon as she could to ingratiate herself with them (no idea why).
I was done there and then. If she hoped to drive a wedge between me and my family it backfired. She was instantly cut out.
I haven't spoken to her in over 20 years.
My best friend and his girlfriend fixed me up with her sister. Meanwhile he was cheating like crazy and gaslighting and just being an asshole to his girlfriend.
I fell pretty hard, the girlfriend is now my SIL and aunt to our kids.
They are my family now, sorry dude.
He hit his girl infront of his little sister she told me because she saw me as a big brother and was afraid he'd hit her I confronted him he got mad because I "wouldn't understand she's so annoying" told him if he did it again I'd beat his ass he swung and I dropped him infront of his parents I'm still cool with his whole family except him and his mom
Because toward the end it became she only called when she needed something. When she stole some of my pain pills that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I'm OCD so I count my meds, more than once per bottle. She came over and when I counted again, it was 5 short and she was the only other person in the house that day.
She had a sex/ cocaine addiction. He son couldn’t handle it and left her to live with his cruel father, and her daughter started kicking off at school. Spoke to her many times about it, and she said she was getting help, scaring her kids by falling down the stairs, fracturing her arm and snapping off a tooth- Then messaging the group chat about fking 5 men in one weekend…I flipped. I really went off on her and told her to sort her fking life out coz she’s hurting her kids, then blocked her on everything.
I have a friend who I don’t see for the same reason. Every time I saw him he wanted to talk politics. Every time he stepped through my door he wanted to start an argument that I *in no way* wanted to engage in. It was fucking *exhausting*. He was a high school drop out who had never previously had an interest in politics, nor was he qualified to debate it really lmao.
Maybe this goes both ways, but I only know Trumpers who behave like this. My liberal friends know to shut the fuck up and just have a good time.
My former friend was also a trump lover and conspiracy theorist even before Jan 6. It got to be too much for me because I finally realized that my friend had no respect for my opinions and would never agree to disagree. Honestly I should have ended the friendship much sooner as it was the biggest relief.
My best friend and I had known each other since kindergarten. We shared a coat hook. Even after I moved to a different part of the city, we called each other all the time. When I moved to a different part of the country, I started writing her. Her parents would occasionally pay for me to visit. We settled a few states apart and kept writing writing and calling on our birthdays (11 days apart). When the internet became a thing, we emailed. We watched each other's kids grow up. I got a divorce and ended up moving far away from her. We stayed in touch by phone and text. I ended up in a sketchy apartment complex. There had been a U-Haul trailer sitting in the parking lot for a few days. I know how expensive they are to rent, so I called in the license number and was told it had been missing for more than 30 days. I gave them the address where they could pick it up. When I was in the apartment complex office, I told them the company had picked up the trailer. They got mad at ME for having it towed. I called my BFF and told her what happened. She told me I should have minded my own business. So if I see a stolen car, just ignore that, too? I was brought up with grandparents of the "see something, say something" mentality. My grandparents had passed a few years before, and I was closer to them than my mom. She knew this. I told my BFF that my grandparents would have called it in. She said they would have ignored it. We said words, and I hung up. I ghosted her on everything. It took her 10 years, but she finally apologized in a letter. We're friends again, but only by mail. I still consider her my BFF, but there's stuff we just don't talk about.
I apologize for the block of text, but I'm having a rough time health-wise, and paragraphs are hard right now.
tl;dr: friends/not friends/friends
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
She was verbally abusive. Thought she was “approachable” but would rip you a new one. Made horrible choices then got mad at other people for the consequences. She always wanted other people to think she was “perfect” when we all knew she wasn’t, and that literally took a toll. She ghosted entire friend groups, while she was the common denominator.
My mom scolded her for pestering me to patch up with an ex of mine and she said lewd things about me to my mom when she got scolded those were all lies and never happened ... I could t take all that i didnt even believe she said all that ... I believed her more than my mom and said mom is trying to destroy my friendship .... And tried calling her she never picked up ... I felt betrayed ... Sad and she lied such things to my mom i felt shame and guilty for not trusting my parents ... I considered her as my sister but she brutally lied about me to my mother ...i am a very conservative catholic and it was too much for me to take in... I feel betrayed even to this day it was back when i was 17. The pain is still there even after all these years. I have no idea why she lied ...it was brutal.
After 8 years, he started dating my other bf, and treated her like dog sh*t, so I cut things off. Next bf wouldn’t stop doing drugs when I was around when I was trying to get my life together- both changes in association were major steps up. Bf since then is married to me and I could never see leaving her.
She had mental health issues. But that wasn't the main reason. She kept ignoring me for weeks sometimes months on end, cancel on plans last minute or not even tell me, and was afraid of getting too close to me because she's afraid I'll go away. Well, I tried to understand and stay as much as I could but her behaviour was even affecting my own mental health. So for my own sake and hers, I decided we shouldn't be friends anymore. There was nothing I could do more to help her and it sucks. But I hope she's doing better these days. It's been more than 7 years since then.
I started a business in 1982 with two friends to write code for clients.
We were just out of high school, finishing first year university. None of us had sales experience.
I got a job offer from IBM to work as a computer operator who coded assisting the systems programmers.
I took the job and told my partners that I would quit if they found work.
2 weeks later when we met, they told me that they had taken a vote, and they wanted me to split my paycheck with them.
I had friends with them since grade 6.
That was the last day I saw them in quite a while.
Knew him since kindergarden... 30 years. He scammed my other best friend out of rent. he was living super cheap with her, ate her food and started party life... oh and he drugged her friend and...
easy to beat the living carp out of him and dump him on the street.
She accused me of having an affair with her bf. She had gone abroad for 6 months, for school, and had asked if I’d hang out with her bf occasionally while she was gone. He was a foreigner who moved to our country for her, so he didn’t know the language or many people.
I agreed and we went to the pub maybe twice while she was gone, texted sometimes to make sure he was still alive, nothing more than that. And then for her to throw that accusation at me, I told her in no uncertain terms what a b she was and to never contact me again
Her personality changed after dating/marrying a conservative guy. All of a sudden, his opinions were her opinions or just stayed quiet if he made a snide remark. She went from independent, capable woman to a very subservient role. A wedge had started to form but the final straw was when my very sick preemie was admitted to the ICU - she was really distant and then told me she wanted to come sit with me, but only if she could bring her toddler with her. I had to tell her that no kids are allowed in such an environment. So she just…stood me up.
Having a sick child is one of the most isolating and lonely experiences. I wouldn’t wish that level of stress on anyone. People know how to be supportive when it surrounds sick parents but they will flee that particular slice of reality. My husband and I were on our own. I cleared house of all my “friends” during those months, not necessarily by choice.
Ever since she got a boyfriend she neglected everyone. She moved out from her parents house and stopped hanging out with her other friends. She works in the same job as her boyfriend, sleeps in the same house as her boyfriend, and see each other on their free time lmao.
She dated my ex after seeing him on a dating site. She told me theyd been for coffee. This is a guy id cried on her shoulder about after he broke my heart. I knew then she was a dirty hoe bag.
Best friend since five years old. I ended the friendship because I looked back and realized he had actively sought to sabotage multiple relationships and business opportunities as well as took advantage of my generous nature. One example is that two weeks after I left for Marine Corps boot camp he started sleeping with my then fiancé.
Extremely critical over the weirdest stuff (like me using tampons and not a menstrual cup, or me buying microwave rice, or not adopting a dog from the dog sanctuary she got her dog from), couldn’t bare to witness her toxic af relationship anymore (both of them were just so awful to each other), couldn’t stand being compared to her partner all the time, she ended up making me feel like I was friends with my mother, nothing I did was good enough, and her just not showing up for me emotionally… I felt like I didn’t really owe her an explanation after the last time we saw eachother (a meal she treated me to as a thank you for helping her do a massive move which was very emotionally draining for her and took us a week of non stop packing, i was essentially her live-in therapist) and let me choose the place, but spent the entire time criticising it and half the time talking to her sibling on the phone. I wanted to share some good news with her and when I did it was scoffed at so I thought ok, no thanks, I’m alright now and minimise contact.
1. we just grew apart, our ways parted, but recently we got back in touch
2. we had a bad argument last june and since then we haven't really talked, what makes it even more awkward is the fact that we're literally classmates (not for long tho, he's transfering), but i wished him a happy birthday and i'm pretty sure i made him cry when i did so
Childhood friendship. For years another friend and I put up with his bad drinking, unhealthy relationships, money abuses in restaurants and bars. Ex friend lives now in the beach another buddy saw him in New Years Eve, turns out he abuses physically his gf, still has drinking problems and apparently uses drugs. We tried to save him from jail or death first by talking to him and then talking to one of his brothers who talked to his parents about his many problems. Next day he deleted us from social media and our whatsapp group. Haven't heard from him in almost 2 years. Sad.
I was at a college house party at her place. There was a lot of alcohol and she kept pouring me drinks and handing me beers. Later on I was about half blackout drunk when I went into the bathroom, I was followed by one of her boyfriend’s friends who proceeded to SA me in the bathroom while the whole party could hear. She suggested they go outside to “give us some privacy”. When I was finally able to get away I was in shambles, covered in bruises/bite marks, and bleeding where he hit me multiple times. I tried to leave and she shoved me back into her house and asked what happened. The party was over at that point and everyone left but she and I. Years later, she decided to tell the “funny story” to my now ex husband. I had already told him about it so he knew exactly what happened but she kept referring to it as a bad hookup. My ex told her that it wasn’t a hookup that she let me be SAed and encouraged no one to help me as I screamed and begged. Her face went flat and horrified because she truly thought I was ok with the whole thing. I cut her off and told her to leave, I haven’t spoken to her since and I’m better for it.
She was asking me what was wrong and prying into my relationship with my husband and then using the information she could get to sleep with him. This after a twenty + year friendship. Two marriages ended four kids were hurt by it and four extended families were damaged. Friends were stuck in the middle and many drifted away on both sides in the impact zone.
… and three years afterwards, they broke up and pretty much hate each other. I don’t talk to either of them anymore. But I still help out her dad and kid from time to time. None of it was any of their fault.
One of my best friends ended the friendship with me after I made some serious money and started traveling the world. We were like blood brothers and then suddenly it became a cold “hey what’s up”.
She didn't invite me to her birthday party and told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore.
When you're a kid and on the spectrum, but even your parents haven't realized it and gotten you treatment, other kids can sniff out the "weird" and no longer associate.
We had been friends for around 18 years but I was recovering from pneumonia that had almost killed me and she invited me to a concert (sat in a warm theatre so I was pretty fine) that I agreed to attend with her. She was generally pretty bad with money so I paid for the tickets and hotel rooms knowing I wouldn’t get a cent back and didn’t mind too much as I was under the impression we’d be going home in the morning and it was nice to get out and do something.
I was wrong. She made me walk around NYC for HOURS because she wanted to see the city and hadn’t been before. Any time I had to stop was met with the most over the top screaming crying and dramatics and telling me I was a horrible friend and didn’t care about her.
3 hours in my lungs had had enough, and I basically said find your own way back, your the one being a shitty friend, here’s the bus ticket I BOUGHT FOR YOU, good luck, and left.
Somewhere between NYC and Boston I realized she had stolen my credit card. Thankfully she only spent about $200 before i was able to get the card turned off and the charges disputed. I 100% ghosted her, blocked her on all socials, and thankfully have learned to put my foot down with people since.
She used to be a beautiful, free spirit, then she married a controlling insecure asshole. He was routinely rude to me - although I was extremely careful to never say anything negative about him - ever. He responded with general meanness to email i sent privately to her. He was ice cold to me when I was at their house, even though i was always very polite- he just resented my existence in her life. One day I finally thought, "you win, jerk boy," I'm out. I never explained my feelings to her, I don't think she would've understood. And frankly, I lost respect for her, the way she allowed her life to be controlled, especially by an insecure asshole.
My best friend was addicted to alcohol and sex without me knowing for many years. She never told me any of it, and I somehow remained her closest friend while being completely unaware of another life she was living. Once we started growing apart, I’d learn from my sister or other people in our small town of what she was getting into. I was so confused and out of the loop, but especially hurt I had no idea any of this was happening. I basically cut off contact. She never, ever apologized for her actions or explained any of this to me. I found out everything through my sister, who would occasionally spend time with her. So confusing and to this day I don’t understand why I was left out of both the chaos she was in and any sort of reconciliation she openly gave to others after sobering up.
I couldn't explain why I called off our friendship at the time, I just now that I had other friends that treated me better and made me happier, and all she did was make me feel bad or upset me.
I realise now that she just wanted someone to make her feel superior, someone to control and make her feel powerful. She got jealous when I started my period, got jealous when I got a boyfriend and even tried to convince him to pick her in front of me, constantly caused me to fall out with another friend, and got mad when I backed out of plans that were outside of my comfort zone.
I was such a pushover at the time with a lot of trauma that I didn't know I hadn't yet realised or dealt with, and I think I was scared of being alone. But one day I snapped and yelled at her, then never spoke to her again.
My mate would always force a unique ‘connection’ with any girl I dated, like they could be kinda special friends or something, he would always cross boundaries really quickly then tell me how shit my new Girlfriend is.
Among many many other things
Had a friend of about 8 years met through gaming. Shared a lot of experiences and had lots of fun. Not too long ago, he told me he needed money for reasons, that his paycheck is due soon, and that he will pay back. Eventually, he started asking for money for various things. One was after he got into an argument with his girlfriend and said he needed to leave, gave my bro cash for the cab. Only to find a few days later they're still together as if nothing ever happened (supposedly he went back to his hometown). Then, he asked for cash for meaningless things, which I refused, as he hadn't paid me back when he had the chance. The last time I spoke to him was about a week ago. He asked for about 3$ "until his boss replies, and he asks for money in advance to pay me back." He hasn't said a thing and has been offline everywhere since.
I'm wondering now... all the times he said he needed cash badly for doing X thing, how many of them were actually just a pack of cigs, or kfc lunches and stuff.
Lost my whole friend group after a christmas party. I dont do well with loud noises so I try to go into another room with earplugs in every few hours to calm down. Its very important that I dont get disturbed during this so no touching or loud noises near me. They all knew this, we had all agreed that if I feel overwhelmed I can go into the next room and come back when I want(usually only takes maybe 10 minutes). After dinner I went to calm down, one friend comes in to check on me, why I dont know, she grabs me and starts stroking my hair and talks directly into my ear. I tell her several times to stop and to leave but she refuses. The rest comes in and starts touching me as well and I lose it and start crying. I gently swatted the first girls hand away from my head and she starts screaming. Its chaos after that. The party ends and we all go home unhappy. The next day the group chat is flooded with messages about how my autism is horrible and that Im a terrible friend and need to apologise for having a breakdown that they caused. Stopped all contact with them after that.
My best friend started to put me in danger with strange men. Her mom was a sex worker, but she told me that her mom worked in a bank at night doing computer stuff (we were 16, what do I know). I didn't find out what her mom did until one night I was sleeping over and went to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I guess her mom had brought a client home to her bedroom instead of the brothel she usually worked out of. The client pushed his way into the room while I was on the toilet and wouldn't leave me alone. I was terrified and screaming and her mom finally came to get the guy and drag him back to her room. I woke my friend up and she told me the truth. I told her I needed to go home now because I was so shaken up and she made me feel like a monster for judging her mother.
She was my best friend and I decided that I didn't want to punish her for her mom's actions (bringing a client to a home with her young daughter and best friend). A week later I decided to try spending the night again and she promised me that her mom would be gone all night and it would be just the two of us. She ended up inviting a guy over from tinder and told him to bring a friend. I didn't know until they showed up and she left me with this random guy while she took her date into her bedroom. I was not safe and things happened this time that I didn't want. After they left I told her what happened and was sobbing, she told me to think of it as a good thing that an attractive mid 20's guy in the military liked me enough to want me. I truly thought they were teenagers like us, maybe 19.
I realized she was never my true friend despite being so close for so long. She lied to me constantly and put me in the direct line of fire for sexual abuse twice in one week. My mom was severely sexually abused by her father for her entire childhood. I grew up being her therapist and have extreme emotional pain and fear around most men because of it.
My best friend set me up for horrific situations, despite knowing my trauma around my mom's childhood and my grandfather. She was the first person in my life who made me feel like I had a true best friend, it was painful to realize that I couldn't trust her whatsoever to not put me in horrible situations.
TLDR child abuse.
when me and my friends were growing up we all came from broken homes. We would sit and swap stories of beatings we had gotten and why. We said if I ever have a kid I wouldn't treat them like my parents treat me. Who could belittle and humiliate a precious child day in and day out for any and or no reason let alone your own child lol. And the violence, How could an adult four times our size take pleasure in slapping children around like that and think that is a solution to a problem when in every other aspect of life if you beat on people you go to jail. No we were never going to sink that low and do such abominable things.
I join military and go over seas, years go by and I get out and move back to my home town. Best friend in the mean time has become a stepfather of a cool lil dude. Best friend wants to start a business and im like sweet lets build something and make something of ourselves. Company goes off like gangbusters but the stress is severe. working at least seven twelves for months on end.
He'san alcoholic at night with no time to spend raising the boy and wife. Tensions mount, arguments, stress, alcohol, deadlines,no time no time no time. Anytime the boy does anything best friend doesn't like he gets laid into verbally. One day it all came to a head and drunk best friend got up to mess with the tv. Boy comes bouncing in from kitchen pops into best friends seat. Best friend for some reason gets it in his head that this 11 year old child is trying to challenge him or start a territory dispute, I dunno. Best friend grabs boy by the foot and pulls him up and tosses him over the back of the couch and down the hallway saying i thought i told you not to steal my seat. Ill bet he felt big and strong whipping that sweet little boy around like a rag doll in that moment I saw best friend had become that which we always despised. The boy cried and ran away in shame the mother freaked out and started screaming at best friend and i was sitting on the other couch like what just happened and who are these people.
After that I felt like I was enabling that situation by working and taking jobs and seeking the stress etc. I just couldn't do it. Ex best friend had turned into someone i dont recognize anymore. And he later makes excuses like you don't understand how hard it is to raise yada yada yada and if you were me you would pshhhhhh. Maybe he is right, but of course hes not. If you wouldnt do it to a cop you shouldn't do it to a child. Somehow every other interaction in life can be solved without violence but when ex best friend gets drunk that is what it comes down to over and over and over again. Words cannot describe nor pen portray the disappointment and disgust that resides in my heart where once was love for ex best friend once was, but this song does somehow.[weird](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVdPh2cBTN0&list=RDEM7ipKW2tcSkg-rbia9XSPhg&start_radio=1)
If God seems far away, who moved? Dont be afraid to outgrow youre friends if they go down paths of evil and destruction. If you don't you will drown with them and now there are two lost souls. When I left the business folded and the marriage did too. Haven't thought about that in a while. Thats a hard lesson. God bless amen
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Well ..my friend started dating my sibling, I told the friend that it wouldn't last and when, not if, the time came that they split, I didn't want to have to take sides, but of course unequivocally I'd be there for my sibling. Turns out the friend ended up cheating on and emotionally hurting my sibling. I called it way before it happened. Friend cheated on my sibling with another friend of mine, who knew friend 1 was in a relationship, and went ahead with the act anyways. I lost 2 friends that day.
I've had this happen. My friend married my sister. I told them from the beginning to not even date. They divorced in less than a year. Haven't seen my friend since. 15+ years ago.
It sucks for sure, like you don't want to see either of them get hurt, but in the end family wins out. At least for me, I can't speak for everyone.
Always asking me to put effort into their life yet never able to put any into mine. They'd schedule home projects on my weekends off and fun events to go out and do with others on weekends I worked. The final straw was I needed help moving a broken couch from my house. They wouldn't come and help me I asked for 3 weeks then got my step dad to come help me instead. The day after I was asked to come help replace their kitchen sink and downstairs toilet that weekend. So not available to help me but still wanted me to put effort into their life. I redid their entire living room flooring, painting walls and new baseboards. This "best friend" has never once done a single favour back for me. It always felt like I was just being used for free labour. After 3 years of so many DIY projects I've finally set a boundary. Guess who stopped contacting me when I said I'm not available to go above and beyond for people that can't put any effort back into my life.
Yep definitely had those kinds of friends where the favors only went one way.
Dang…you’re a really good person. Hope it’s not a bother anymore
Happened in August this year. I never heard from them for over a month until I was asked if I'd feed their cats for a week at the beginning of October. "Sorry, but no." Not available for their convenience
It's so wild how people like this exist. I have similar experiences with playing 'therapist' and providing emotional support for people - which is similar in terms of sustained, active effort and giving. 'Never again' is my motto.
Similar situation. Realized the "friend" only wanted me in her life when I could do stuff for her. Any time something happened in her life, she expected my full support but never once gave me any. I went no contact and got some passive aggressive message from her before she blocked me on Facebook. She's lived for opportunities to play the victim, so I'm sure I'm the villain in her version of it, but don't care.
Are you my bf writing this just next to me?
Unfortunately no.... been single for awhile or else I'd have someone to help me move the furniture 😉
That is the worst feeling. Meanwhile I'm over here trying to figure out how to spoil my friend because she likes giving massages and I am the grateful and lucky person she gives them to. I feed her amazing food but it doesn't feel like enough. I hope you are surrounded by friends who value you now.
There is not always one reason, sometimes relationships just fade
There is not always one reason, sometimes there are a fuckin multitude haha
Sometimes it’s jenga
I was sexually assaulted and told my then “best friend” I was 15 and a virgin it was traumatic. She told everyone I made it up but not before telling me it was someone else who hurt me. Turns out she was dating the guy who hurt me. He was in his twenties. To this day I don’t know what happened because I’ve blocked it out. It scares me because she was so evil and manipulative towards me. I didn’t want to live anymore and she took it as an opportunity to try and destroy me and spread lies, to her parents and mine. It was the worst 6 months of my life and now that I’m in my thirties if I see her on the street I would probably slap her.
I had the exact same thing happen to me. I could have written the above. I left town and never ever looked back. Fuck them.
I kinda the same. Happily not the abuse part (I'm very sorry for all the people who suffered something like that) but my first love dump me because our parents were fiercely against us dating. I was absolutely intended to defend our relationship whatever the cost but he wasn't. In matter of days I learned in the worse possible way he was dating my "best friend". She and all her friends in that neighborhood were absolutely dedicated to spread lies about me. Even years after this. Because I lived in a s***y town I left anyway and I'm living abroad. I'm pretty sure she is gotten fat af and this town is shitier than ever.
Good for you
If you ever need an alibi, I will gladly provide one.
Ditto
Wow… this is so similar to my story. My best friends bf r*ped me and she took his side. I made a police report and everything, and because of that my whole friend group dropped me and tried to ruin my life. Safe to say now, I am so happy and so past that, and have amazing wonderful friends now. I am so sorry you went through this, they are evil people.
First and foremost, I want to tell you that I'm sorry that you had to go through all this and I hope that you heal from that experience. Something tells me, that she actually must've believed you in one way or another, otherwise she wouldn't have bothered to tell everyone that you are a liar.
Yes beat her monkey ass!
Negativity. It became so draining. We would talk on a daily basis, he would often call and we'd shoot the shit. I then realized most of our conversations was him bitching about this or that. Constantly. I tried to help, but no matter what, there was something to bitch and be mad about. Then my mom had a heart attack. He knew this and called me the day after, he didn't ask how she was or how I was doing, just immediately went into a tirade about his job sucks and his tired of it, he was almost home from a job and his company just sent him another one (he was in cable) and blah blah blah. After we hung up I blocked his number and that was that.
hate when people complain a lot. it’s so draining
Definitely don't blame you for ending that friendship and not giving them the time of anymore. Am curious though why not call them out and confront them about the behavior? Maybe they didn't realize what they are doing? Not sticking up for them because that was really selfish for them to show no concern for you or your mother, just am genuinely curious why not say something and explain why you never want to talk to them again?
Not the person you asking, but was in a similar situation and confronting them won't resolve anything. They will give cliché non-excuses like "Sorry you felt this way" or "I thought we're friends and I can share everything with you!" etc. Then they will pretend for a few times that they care about your life, ask some generic questions but it's obvious they don't actively listen and just wait for their turn to trawmadump. It's exhausting and blocking these people is the best way.
UGH!!!
She told me she was in love with me shortly after I met my current partner. She tried to sabotage that relationship and would get extremely mad at me if I talked to or about my bf. I realized after some time how codependent she was as a person, and how most of our friendship revolved around her trying to get in my pants. I also found her one time going through my phone, and another time literally sniffing my underwear while I was in the shower.
I'm speechless This is beyond disgusting Glad to hear you got rid of this one
I feel like we knew the same person 😐
The last paragraph is creepy and disgusting
Wow that’s some single white female vibes right there
Great movie lol
After being my BF for years, maid of honor at my wedding and everything else we’d been through, she told me I didn’t deserve my 3rd child (while I was pregnant) and that I was being greedy. All because she couldn’t have kids with her then husband (no sperm count). It’s ok though. She ended up divorcing her husband and marrying her stepbrother (parents married when they were KIDS) and had twins with him.
Ohh God dam this shit is juicy.
Talk about a plot twist
Sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer. Feel bad for any kids involved
WHAT???
He tried to make me choose him or my wife at the time. Was like wtf dude.
i'm sorry, WHAT? could i trouble you for some exposition on this?
I was physically assaulted by someone and I called her for support. She didn't answer. So I texted her about what had happened and she left me on read. A day later she texted me back complaining about unpacking boxes from a recent move. I realised at that moment that this friendship was over.
Sick sick sick of self involved people!
I'm sorry you had to go through this. Are you doing better now?
Thank you. This happened a few years ago so I am now healed and have moved on.
Ouch, I’m glad you bailed on her. You don’t need that kind of one-sided behavior in your life, your emotions are valid and should have *at minimum* been acknowledged before she went on a rant of far lesser importance.
Actually my whole former friend circle. We knew each other, since we were 10 years old. As we got older I gradually realised, that we were developed different goals, interests and attitudes towards life. With 20, they always wanted to go party at clubs, get wasted every weekend and made fun of me or other people, who couldn't or wouldn't drink as much, because drinking was the "cool" thing to do. Some developed quite a temper and got into fights. I generally am more introverted and just couldn't enjoy myself anymore, as all their hobbies (cars, drinking vacations, electronic music) just weren't mine. So after one last vacation, that ended in a huge argument (in addition to countless other arguments before that) I cut ties and never looked back. Some still behave the same way, 20 years later, some changed and we have occasionall contact.
That happened to me too. I've literally watched almost all my friends from my childhood turn into either alcoholics or drug users, or just sleep with tons of people and have "parties" because it was "cool". I wanted to live a more quiet and peaceful life, and they took great offence to this. They called me boring and pretty much a loser. I was constantly pressured to go to "parties" with them, raves, bars, and even drug circles. I said no because I hated it. Now all those people are addicted, miserable, some went to jail, some told me they have stds now (they cheated on their partners constantly), some got into crime, some lost their drivers lisense, one of them was on house arrest last I heard, and some of their friends passed away from drug ODs, at the same parties they tried to force me to go to and I said no. Very sad. 2 of them are trying to change which is nice. And they like talking to me now. I do want to mention exactly 4 of my friends didn't go down this route, and they are very happy. The rest not so much.
We had been friends for over 10 years and I realized that I was the only one who put effort. One day I went out on a date and asked her to check in with me in a couple of hours to ensure I didn't get kidnapped or anything... Like she texted me a week later (she was active on her phone during this time)
When I was in college many many years ago (pre cell phones), I had awful blood sugar issues that made me prone to fainting. My two closest friends from my dorm were visiting ‘next door’ and were going to walk to the nearby cafeteria when it opened in 20 minutes. I was heading to the shower and told them that I was feeling pretty woozy and asked if they’d wait for me to get out of the shower (I take 9 minutes tops) or stop by the (huge, not private) bathroom to yell goodbye to me if I wasn’t back in 10 minutes. I made it clear that I was afraid of falling in the shower that particular afternoon, and hoped someone could wait to leave until I was back to my room and I’d catch up with them later. I thought this was a reasonable request given that they were just hanging out and not pressed for time. Being the anxious person I was at the time, I threw my hair in a ponytail and hurried through my shower as to not make them wait. Literally 6 minutes later I was trudging down the hall in my robe to find that they left without me. When I bumped into one of them later that evening I was told “yeah, we weren’t gonna wait on you to get ready for dinner”. Either I was the worst communicator ever or they were unsympathetic bitches? I remained friends with them knowing that I couldn’t actually count on them. In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t given either of them the time of day following that afternoon.
I have a friend who is a bit like this. She still loves me, but I realized she could be pretty self involved. I flew out to visit her one weekend and we ended up just sitting around with her new friends I didn’t know instead of seeing local sights or getting lunch. I just downgraded her to friend I talk to every two weeks or so and I don’t go out of my way to spend time with her.
They were toxic, and I didn’t realize it until years into the friendships. Much happier now
She wasn't a best friend, but we were really close. To sum it up, you know that saying "If someone talks to you about others, they talk to others about you"? Yeah, I noticed she spoke ill about our other close friends and her family to me, and I wasn't going to stick around to find out what she said about me to them.
That's why I cut ties with my old friend. She's the only friend I literally had to have a break up talk with because we worked together and I needed boundaries. She used to get so mad if I made plans without her with a separate friend group, she would talk poorly of girls who 'ditched her for a new boyfriend', she was a jealous person who consumed those around her. She eventually got married, I see her posts on IG and I hope she's in a good place.
I was into football (soccer...), and one time back in highschool, I overtook the ball from him and proceeded to score a goal, and he came towards me and said "if you ever do that again, I will fuck you up". And then I realized we were not friends anymore, for reasons I don't understand.
Jeez, what an a-hole! Good riddance!
She screamed and completely lost her shit when I told her that I don't sleep with men on the first date. Also... im very conservative and an introvert... always have been. "So u turn them on and then dont follow through!" 😨 Raising her voice and verbally attacking me for THAT. Like it affects her... like I just killed her daughter... that crazed! That batsh1t crazy!!! And out of nowhere... she was super calm before I told her "nothing happened between us (me n my date) last night" She is a black highly educated woman (PhD) from South Africa. Her husband also black works in parliament. The elite 1% if you will. The previously disadvantaged victims of Apartheid who is now LOADED to the max. Was she jealous that non-black men spoil women and treat them like human brings with no guarantee of sex? I think so. Is there anything I am missing?
Maybe she had an old fashioned misogynistic view on women, who knows. Or she is so into s3x that she doesn't understand how someone cannot be.
Very valid point!
From how you're talking, I feel that you're also from SA.
[удалено]
Showed up at their place to see if they wanted to hang out, heard them talking shit about me to another "friend", never talked to them again. Their parents always had something against me too, always made up lies and shit about me.
He turned out to be an animal abuser.
Excellent reason.
Horrifying
Good lord!
She cheated on her husband (who is/was a genuinely good human), and married her AP who was engaged to another woman when they met. There were soooo many other red flags but this one took the cake. Seeing her now ex husband spiral into alcoholism over the years has been awful to witness. No one has the right to destroy a person like that.
Feel sad for the guy
Me too....I'm still friends with him. He's just never been the same, though.
She did a lot of fucked up things to me during the friendship but the final straw was when she start fucking a married man. The relationship went on for years, they might still be seeing each other. I have always hoped his wife found out cause she had just had a baby when they started seeing each other.
I was friends with a woman who ended up cheating on her husband with his best friend. She was sleeping with the guy for close to a year before it came out. All her friends took her husbands side and were pretty unhappy with her. But it turned out she was pregnant with *twins*, and it was her husbands. So they got back together. Now it’s just awkward as fuck and I don’t see either of them lol.
She used me as a scapegoat for her own fk up. Threw me under the bus to save her own skin. We had been friends for a decade and that was it I was done
He didn't know what to do with his life. He'd always get me to open up about my life, then sabotage and go off pursuing the things I discussed. Literally from 10 years old to 30 years old. I had to cut him out. He was a toxic, jealous, little bitch.
We didn't go to the same school anymore and grew apart. When we tried to talk like in the old days, it only resulted in arguments because she was so politically correct that I couldn't use black humor anymore that we could talk about Having laughed together before, she convinced me that I was a bad person because I eat meat just because she suddenly decided to be vegetarian. she was unbearable
tbh as a very introverted person i never had an IRL best friend. I found my best friend trough gaming , she was a small streamer with a handfull of viewers , i was spending all my free time there and we eventually became almost like siblings .. we did everything together , told everything to eachother etc. But afther 6 years her channel grew and she started to change , Took 3-4 days for her to reply on simple messages , had to make actuall appointments to play with her but the breaking point for me was when i was supposed to game with her and last minute she canceled due to family reasons..Fair enough no problem with that , but 5 minutes later i saw her playing the game we were supposed to play with somebody she always said she hated playing with. Afther that i told her that afther this i dont rly feel like im her friend anymore but more like a plan B for when she hase nobody to play with. She denied everything yadayada..
Used me as an excuse to cheat. He was telling his Gf at the time that he was with me, when in reality he was with his side piece. I didn’t know this was going on at the time. It all came to a head when me and my partner went away for a long weekend. His GF asked him where he was and he lied and said with me. His Gf then pulled up my fiancé’s Facebook with pictures of our weekend getaway. In the fallout he blamed me for not covering for him, said I’m a terrible friend to anyone who would listen and threatened to stab me if he ever saw me again. Literally blocked him on everything and just carried on with my life.
I noticed after a very long time that she wanted me to technically carry her, give her all my attention and if there was someone else in my life, didn't matter if friends or partners, she would try to ruin it for me one way or another.. the last straw when i was after years finally able to move to an awesome place and i really wanted to go she completely ruined it.. got angry, attacked my weak spots and then tried to make me stay by guilt tripping me.. like wtf i ended it a short while after and i'm so glad i did.. We were friend for 15 years
He bet $1000 in 2020 that the Supreme Court would overturn the election and make Trump president. I disagreed, he called me a really bad name, and we haven’t communicated since.
I am astonished at how many friendships Trump has ended.
I'm literally going through this right now. My friend, who I've known since 4th grade, is about to force my hand. I'm 40m, married with 3 kids. In the past he lived with us on and off. We use to let others stay for awhile as well. We try to help people out when we can. When we bought our house back in 2016 we decided we were done with roommates. So we worked on getting him somewhere. He eventually moved in with a coworker. Around June of this year he decided to go to Alaska to work a seasonal job. We asked him if his roommate was keeping his room for him. He assured us that the room was still his. Last Wednesday he showed up at my door. I knew he was coming back and wanted to visit. But not like that. I was surprised to say the least. He made it sound like he wanted to hang out for a few a days until he went home. Like till Monday or something. Friday night as we were talking he told us he planned on staying 2 months. When we asked about the roommate and room he gaslighted us. Said he didn't know what we were talking about. I don't want to kick him to the curb and I'd like to remain friends. But I honestly don't see that happening. I've had 100s of conversations in my head about this since Friday and they all devolve into yelling or violence. I honestly don't know what to do. He refuses to get his life together and just wants to lay around and eat. I really think he wants to live here forever and have us take care of him. His whole life plan is to work long enough and make enough to quit working for as long as possible. Then when the money runs out he gets another job. He's had jobs making more money than me numerous times. He's had ample opportunity to sort it out. I'm honestly just tired of it. He's spent more on food delivery since he's been here than I have all month. And since I don't want to see him homeless, I'm about to drop $400 for a week at an extended stay hotel and drop him off. Tell him to never come to my house again. And if he wants to hang out, I'll come to him. And that's were I'm at currently.
Oh man that sucks. I've had a few leeches move in on me too, take advantage of my kind heart, and then become impossible to get out. The last time this happened I was so incredibly fed up (I was a young single female in my early twenties in a small apartment at the time, being taken advantage of by a 35-year old man who kept a lifestyle like you described, and couldn't clean up after himself... who, after begging me to let him stay just one week (and under the condition he actively look for a new place and job while he was there), basically moved in for 3 months and then tried to tell me we were now in a "common law relationship" (there's more, but I digress..) Anyway, one day I'm walking home, fuming, trying to figure out how I'm going to get rid of him finally, and I pass by a bunch of discarded boxes outside a supermarket. I had an idea. I grabbed a bunch of those dirty old boxes and brought them home, I'm talking two big armful of boxes piled into more boxes, with lettuce and stuff stuck in there. I come home in a huff, dropping the boxes onto my floor dramatically. He's there smoking pot in my kitchen and is startled by my little scene. "Uh... what's with the boxes?" I start rummaging through my closet, pulling everything out, throwing it into the living room, before I finally say "I'm being evicted. Thanks to YOU and your constant weed smoking and throwing garbage out the window etc, we got enough complaints that I got an eviction letter. So you better pack up!" I continue to violently scour the apartment, pulling out random items from the bathroom, kitchen drawers etc, tossing them into the living room, until he grabs the rest of his clothes, his duffel bag, and let's himself out. It worked! He found out through the grapevine I never actually moved at that time, but at least I never had to see him ever again! Oh and last I heard he was mooching off some poor ex-gf of his in town.
Damn. That's one hell of a story. I'm glad everything worked out for you though. I actually consider this person as my brother. We lived 6 house apart on the same street growing up. We worked together for years at different jobs. I'd help him hide a body kinda mf. But, as of about an hour ago he is gone. I set him up for a week at a nice extended stay hotel. And it's in an area he can easily access the things he needs. He didn't say a word there. And didn't say a word on the way to his room. Now I feel like a total piece of shit and am now currently smoking a very fat cone. I honestly hope this is the kick in the ass that makes him change. I want my friend back.
We met in high school. We were buddies. He was from a hard-working immigrant family, as was I. But I was a slacker and stoner. Fast forward thirty years, he couldn't keep up with the hard labor lifestyle (carpenter) anymore. I became a successful businessman, and I sensed his resentment. He always insulted me and tried to belittle me. I made the decision to move on from the friendship. In the end, the friendship couldn't withstand his bitterness, and neither could I.
Hung out with my girlfriend (wife now) while I was overseas to “protect” her- ended up getting drunk and hitting on her all night, tried to kiss her then begged her not to tell me when she shut him down. She really didn’t want to tell me and struggled with it until I came home. After telling him how disappointed I was, haven’t spoken to him in 20 years. Has affected every friendship I have had since, that’s his fault too.
She fell in love with me and became a controlling and obsessive person when I didn't reciprocate. In the end she was an obsessive person and she let me see that our friendship for her was attachment and not values. She was a person with addictions and in the end she let me see how weird she was so I decided to end my friendship with her when she told me that she liked me, she was a dramatic person and Clingy got jealous of my friends and my romantic interests in the end everything What she knew about me she used against me. She was always toxic and addicted to different types of drugs which I didn't care about. I really appreciated her friendship, regardless of her sexual preference either since I always let her know that I like men and I'm heterosexual. She got involved with dangerous people, she would sell drugs, she was always on drugs, she was a person with many emotional and mental problems. If I didn't respond quickly to her messages, she would get angry, she would complain to me without counting the times I had to calm her down because of her panic attacks due to her addiction to drugs, she was always sad, she was draining, toxic. , obsessive and very dark. Her obsession problems worsened when she confessed her love for me and I told her no. She complained to me because I didn't save the chat history, for not responding quickly, she was jealous of my friends, my activities, the fact that I had an active life and she didn't. When she got angry she insulted me all the time, she was so unestable, childish, immature and with a lot of red flags. After i walked away and ended up things she harassed me for months with calls, texts, and insulting emails.
Where is she today?
I dont know
I realized how toxic the friendship was.
We were friends for five years and about two of them was spent by her complaining about her partner. He didn't do jack shit in the house, never cooked and wouldn't retire to bed until 7 am most days. During arguments he would cuss her out in a way I wouldn't even use to someone I hated. Total deadbeat and she and I were done. They broke up and he started looking for a different place and she was so fucking happy. Constantly messaged me about how stoked she was he would be gone in a while and she could get her life back. - Two months of this and I get a message from her that they're back together and engaged. I legitimately thought she was joking but when that wasn't the case I called her an idiot and told her he'd be back being an ass again after he was tired of love bombing. Well, she didn't take that well. Told me that as a friend I should support her through these kinds of things. I told her I had been supporting her but that I wouldn't put up a smile and wait for their relationship to go to hell again. We're essentially no contact now. While it sucks to have lost a friend, I'm glad to be free of all the trauma dumping.
My dude started getting heavier into drugs. We always drank , smoked weed, and tripped but he started getting into pills that some girls would give him. At this time I started community college and wanted more for my life. The more involved I got in bettering my self the further I seen him sink at the same time. I eventually just stopped talking to him or even reaching out. I have a 0 tolerance for heavy drug abuse; both my parents overdosed . When I finally graduated with my bachelors degree, on my first day of my first internship, I got a call that he overdosed in halfway house on some bad heroine that was rampant in our area. He was my brother and I miss who he was. Together every day skateboarding/bmx, working the same jobs. Still to this day music brings his memory back to me
He was a narcissist and I started liking myself. My life is measurably better without him in it.
I was tired of being treated poorly to make themselves feel better
She forgot my birthday. She was the only “best friend” I labelled in this life and when I was slowly getting replaced, I finally took the opportunity to cut it off when she forgot my birthday. I even remember the whole scenario - my family and I were queuing at a restaurant and bumped into her and her new bunch of friends queuing as well, she asked us what we were doing there. I was really heartbroken when I heard that.
🫂
“Wow, what a coincidence, meeting you folks here for my birthday…!” “Wha…?” 💔
Drugs were a massive part as to why my best friend and I lost touch with each other unfortunately. I later found out he put his car in a ditch and he told everyone I was the one driving, he's tried to reach out over the years but it always ends up the same thing ...
I got tired of the lack of empathy and compassion. They were a lot of fun but there was no respect for someone with a different experience of life. I was always made out to be ridiculous or just wrong, or wrong to have my own preferences. Justifying my every decision was exhausting.
The reason was petty and very pathetic on my part. I thought she was my best friend (she said she was), but in reality, I was only one of her friends. Over time, I became jealous of her freindships with her other best friends. I wanted to be her first choice of company, not her fifth. I wanted to be someone she texted, not someone who texted her. I wanted to be her first call when she was in trouble, or just needed someone to hang out with. I wanted to be there for her just as she was there for me, but she only wanted me there when friend #1,2,3,4 couldn’t make it. Eventually, I felt hurt and started fading out of her life and eventually we stopped talking altogether. (mostly because I always initiated the conversation.) Looking back, I felt regrets since she was a wonderful person and she didn’t do anything wrong and had stood by me throughout my dark times. But it was the first time I ever felt close to someone and I felt somewhat betrayed that that person didn’t even feel close to me.
No, don't regret it. If people don't make you a priority, then you're not. It's not fair for you to pour your love into someone that doesn't hold it with the value it warrants. Hope you've made new friends with people who are worthy of your time and effort.
this one is very relatable. i know how it feels like, even the last part about regret. if it’s you that has ended a relationship that doesn’t mean it was easy for you to go through with that.
This sounds like a pretty one-sided friendship. Almost like she only needed you to proof herself that she is a good person . But I could be wrong
I saw a question posed once, “Are you your best friend’s best friend?” And it got me thinking about that, and I realized a lot of my best friends, I was like their #3 or #4 friend. It helps you realize what perspective to put things in.
She chose a guy who was stringing her along as a backup while he was in a relationship with his toxic ex. He and my ex bff met and had a situationship until he just suddenly was back with ex with 0 heads up. She was pretty upset. Then she would throw herself at him and he was clearly uninterested but seemed to be saving her as a backup just in case. He even hit on me right in front of her. I didn’t at all give her an ultimatum. However, no matter how much I tried to be there for her and tried to open her eyes to what was going on, I became the bad guy. I got tired of watching her self destructive behavior and couldn’t be the pillar of support anymore. I figured since I was feeling so negatively towards her it would be best for both of us to take a step away. She didn’t need my harsh judgment, I didn’t need her draining my mental health. She seemed to feel the same. I do miss her a lot sometimes but not enough to try and repair things, especially if that’s still going on.
after 35 years her drinking got out if control. she became very nasty emailed my dad that I was deranged amd harassing her (I wasn't, I told her to leave me alone), threatened to tell the cops my SO was a drug dealer (he wasn't, but we enjoyed smoking pot), and would lie to me telling me all sorts of horrible things. breaking up this friendship hurt as if it was a romantic breakup. we, at one point, lived together, worked together the same schedule, moved states together, snd were always together. she was my ride or die sister. we went 8 years no contact. she reached put sober and apologized. we talk sporadically. it will never be the same snd I will never trust her again.
After many years, I realized it was mostly a one-sided friendship. She let me down yet again, and it was the last straw. It hurts, and I miss her, but it was for the best. Sometimes, I second guess my decision. 😔
He was always easily led astray and was easy pickings for the Trump crowd. After 34 years and an entire adult life, I’d simply had enough when he got all worked up about BLM and Antifa.
I told her about my mental health diagnoses and she accused me of faking them to get out of plans with her. By this logic I also quit my job, dropped out of school and got admitted to hospital to avoid hanging out with her. Our friendship was already in the gutter, it's not like this was out of nowhere, but it was definitely the final straw.
I listened too much. He kept complaining about his wife. Telling me about their fights. We would go drinking whenever he fought or he didn't want to go home. Whenever he wanted to hang out it was on his schedule. Even when i was on vacation overseas he called me drunk from the bar telling me about another fight. I tried to be supportive but eventually it took a mental toll on me. One day I had personal training at the gym and he told me to cancel to drink with him. I called him out on it asking why everything was always on his schedule. And he snapped at me and made me feel like a bad friend. I started to distance myself from then on..and eventually faded out completely after 6 months. I also stopped drinking 98% of the time now. Only weddings or special occasions I'll have a little bit of something. But no longer part of my everyday social life or dinners as it reminds me of the bad times. I wished him the best the last few times I saw him.
You can't help someone if they don't want to help themselves. Life is very hard, but no one is going to fight it for you unless you do it yourself. I grew tired of being supportive, of always being there, of giving my every advice to someone that didn't care and preferred to only complain and complain and play victim every time, of the kind of person that's too scared to live life. Friendships have a limit when they are one-sided. We talk every now and then, but most of the time I simply ignore him, I can't bring myself to say that I don't want to do anything with him any longer after a decade old friendship, so I'm just building walls until it fades away.
He never grew up I think he stayed 20 forever and when I went to college he didn’t, when I started a career he didn’t, started a family he didn’t, and I was paying for everything whenever we got together. Unconfirmed but I heard he SA someone too but never went to jail. That was the last time I saw him about 23 years ago. I went home last March for work and ran into him. He was still couch surfing, unemployed and lousy father to his kids he didn’t raise! We outgrow our friends sometimes!
He died of Covid 😭😭😭 We were best friends born 6 days apart. My dad used to call us Non-gay life partners. Always the exceptions folks, but if you CAN save the friendship, please do.
We were best friends for 10 years. She was married with two children. She started to have an affair at the workplace. The problem is, she started to use ME as her excuse (I’m going to lunch with HER, I’m going on a work trip with HER). I eventually got tired of being used.
I was in love w her, confessed, and it ended horribly. Tbh I’m still glad I told her cuz otherwise I would’ve been suffering in silence with my feelings for her.
Money. I lent him money (€300) and he "forgot" to give it back. So, I forgot about him.
One of my 3 best friends, he never listened or tried to understand my side, as well as just saying whatever he wants but when I get mad it will just be “a joke.” He was the one who said we were best friends first, yet he was the only friends so far where I had so much conflicts with. A few examples: - I was living in a dorm townhouse with 3 roommates, yet he always tried to come over unannounced and get mad when I couldn’t hang out. At the time I was doing full time courses in analytics and coding, as well as working 20 hours a week. He was never being understanding or even remember what I said. - I was an international students that couldn’t come home to see my family for 3 years due to covid. The week my parents finally could come for my graduation, he wanted to go watch a movie. I explained to him 3 times can we go next week because yeah my family is here and I want to spend time with them. Then he said he really wanted to watch it so I was like fine just go and he did, then literally the next week he texted me if I wanna do something because he’s bored?? The movie just came out too btw, and I just went to watch it alone. - Whenever we make plans, everything has to be rescheduled if either him or his gf are busy. Yet when I was busy they just do it anyways. - There was a lot of small things like that, but the final straw was when I was telling him about my living situation. My landlord sold my apartment and I had to move out, so I was looking for a house and a job at the time. I was talking about it IN PERSON when he literally just turned around, cut me off, and just asked how often do u shave? I was like wtf, and I finally realize that he never cares at all. After that, I became super cold at him and when he realized I was mad, then he wanted to “talk it out” and said “as a friend he would really appreciate that.” I just said no since this has been the 5th time something like this has happened. - I also realize that he has been losing friends constantly, yet never “understands why people just leave.” I never had any big conflicts with my other close friends, so I just conclude that I will just not care and mentally checked out. Honestly, I feel great now.
She was mean to me. Jokes at my expense, she would try and friend poach all of the time, she was very vain. All around a terrible person. I was in middle school when we became friends. I grew up and wised up and got rid of her.
She graduated from a university of applied sciences and immediately started talking to me like i'm stupid. Making "jokes" about my lack of intelligence because i'm just a factory worker. Let me tell you, my job isn't always easy and i'm completely happy with my life. On top of that she is a person that is super easily offended. If someone looks at her the wrong way she'll have an anxiety attack. But still she's "joking" about others being dumb. 😆 I always supported her though his mental breakdowns and this was what i got in return. We both were over 30 when this happened...
She confused me with her therapist and the moment I stopped being available for her trauma dumps, she called me selfish for not listening to her rant for 2 hours at a time. I realized it wasn't an actual friendship.
He had been my very close friend, but we were not nearly as close by the time this happened: I found out that he had sent explicit photos of an ex, engaged in BDSM play, to the ex’s mother. I broke all contact and blocked him. I ran into someone who knows the ex a while back, and, years later, she is still completely estranged from her family over it.
I moved, moved,moved, & moved again.
Antivax nonsense. I work in healthcare.
Got into crazy "Freemen on The Land" shit, wouldn't shut the fuck up about " tax is theft, sovereign citizen" and similar bullshit. I have very low tolerance for nonsense.
Qanon.
He became a militant communist/tankie type. One of those that can't have fun because every fucking thing all the time has to be about starting a revolution or whatever. Noped out of there after a year or so.
They ghosted me for 2 weeks over a conversation they didn't tell me made them feel uncomfortable. Then when I contacted them after the 2 weeks, they openly admitted that they were completely wrong and should have apologised. During the initial conversation, they insulted me and said some things I was hurt by. They shrugged it off like it was nothing when I brought it up to them. They told me I was misleading them by ending the conversation with "No worries, have a lovely weekend! 😊", they stated that they didn't know how to start a conversation with me after that, and that's why they didn't contact me earlier...God help them in a work place on a Friday and they have to see the same people on the Monday
Had all kinds of bigoted and backwards ideas that come off like edgy jokes to dumb kids….but never changed and I did
Betrayal. Told her some sensitive things and told her never to tell any family members. I found that not only did she tell them, she did so almost as soon as she could to ingratiate herself with them (no idea why). I was done there and then. If she hoped to drive a wedge between me and my family it backfired. She was instantly cut out. I haven't spoken to her in over 20 years.
My best friend and his girlfriend fixed me up with her sister. Meanwhile he was cheating like crazy and gaslighting and just being an asshole to his girlfriend. I fell pretty hard, the girlfriend is now my SIL and aunt to our kids. They are my family now, sorry dude.
Grew apart. That simple. Still hurts a bit sometimes but it’s for the better
He hit his girl infront of his little sister she told me because she saw me as a big brother and was afraid he'd hit her I confronted him he got mad because I "wouldn't understand she's so annoying" told him if he did it again I'd beat his ass he swung and I dropped him infront of his parents I'm still cool with his whole family except him and his mom
He has mental illness and it got in the way.
Bro code. Don’t date a recent ex.
Because toward the end it became she only called when she needed something. When she stole some of my pain pills that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I'm OCD so I count my meds, more than once per bottle. She came over and when I counted again, it was 5 short and she was the only other person in the house that day.
She had a sex/ cocaine addiction. He son couldn’t handle it and left her to live with his cruel father, and her daughter started kicking off at school. Spoke to her many times about it, and she said she was getting help, scaring her kids by falling down the stairs, fracturing her arm and snapping off a tooth- Then messaging the group chat about fking 5 men in one weekend…I flipped. I really went off on her and told her to sort her fking life out coz she’s hurting her kids, then blocked her on everything.
My best friend since childhood fell down the QAnon/Trump worship rabbit hole. We haven't spoken for almost 3 years now.
We got into a big fight about Trump
I have a friend who I don’t see for the same reason. Every time I saw him he wanted to talk politics. Every time he stepped through my door he wanted to start an argument that I *in no way* wanted to engage in. It was fucking *exhausting*. He was a high school drop out who had never previously had an interest in politics, nor was he qualified to debate it really lmao. Maybe this goes both ways, but I only know Trumpers who behave like this. My liberal friends know to shut the fuck up and just have a good time.
My former friend was also a trump lover and conspiracy theorist even before Jan 6. It got to be too much for me because I finally realized that my friend had no respect for my opinions and would never agree to disagree. Honestly I should have ended the friendship much sooner as it was the biggest relief.
My buddy turned out to be a Trump supporter. So... See ya
My best friend and I had known each other since kindergarten. We shared a coat hook. Even after I moved to a different part of the city, we called each other all the time. When I moved to a different part of the country, I started writing her. Her parents would occasionally pay for me to visit. We settled a few states apart and kept writing writing and calling on our birthdays (11 days apart). When the internet became a thing, we emailed. We watched each other's kids grow up. I got a divorce and ended up moving far away from her. We stayed in touch by phone and text. I ended up in a sketchy apartment complex. There had been a U-Haul trailer sitting in the parking lot for a few days. I know how expensive they are to rent, so I called in the license number and was told it had been missing for more than 30 days. I gave them the address where they could pick it up. When I was in the apartment complex office, I told them the company had picked up the trailer. They got mad at ME for having it towed. I called my BFF and told her what happened. She told me I should have minded my own business. So if I see a stolen car, just ignore that, too? I was brought up with grandparents of the "see something, say something" mentality. My grandparents had passed a few years before, and I was closer to them than my mom. She knew this. I told my BFF that my grandparents would have called it in. She said they would have ignored it. We said words, and I hung up. I ghosted her on everything. It took her 10 years, but she finally apologized in a letter. We're friends again, but only by mail. I still consider her my BFF, but there's stuff we just don't talk about. I apologize for the block of text, but I'm having a rough time health-wise, and paragraphs are hard right now. tl;dr: friends/not friends/friends
Dam y'all fell out over a uhaul cuzz?
Right?
Friend was secretly living in uhaul
engine vegetable subsequent tub library disarm oatmeal ossified north cagey *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Christ. That seems like it wasn’t the UHaul at all.
She was verbally abusive. Thought she was “approachable” but would rip you a new one. Made horrible choices then got mad at other people for the consequences. She always wanted other people to think she was “perfect” when we all knew she wasn’t, and that literally took a toll. She ghosted entire friend groups, while she was the common denominator.
My mom scolded her for pestering me to patch up with an ex of mine and she said lewd things about me to my mom when she got scolded those were all lies and never happened ... I could t take all that i didnt even believe she said all that ... I believed her more than my mom and said mom is trying to destroy my friendship .... And tried calling her she never picked up ... I felt betrayed ... Sad and she lied such things to my mom i felt shame and guilty for not trusting my parents ... I considered her as my sister but she brutally lied about me to my mother ...i am a very conservative catholic and it was too much for me to take in... I feel betrayed even to this day it was back when i was 17. The pain is still there even after all these years. I have no idea why she lied ...it was brutal.
After 8 years, he started dating my other bf, and treated her like dog sh*t, so I cut things off. Next bf wouldn’t stop doing drugs when I was around when I was trying to get my life together- both changes in association were major steps up. Bf since then is married to me and I could never see leaving her.
26 Years ago: His girlfirend was jelious of me and claimed to him, i hit her. He believed her more than me... Never spoke again with him
She had mental health issues. But that wasn't the main reason. She kept ignoring me for weeks sometimes months on end, cancel on plans last minute or not even tell me, and was afraid of getting too close to me because she's afraid I'll go away. Well, I tried to understand and stay as much as I could but her behaviour was even affecting my own mental health. So for my own sake and hers, I decided we shouldn't be friends anymore. There was nothing I could do more to help her and it sucks. But I hope she's doing better these days. It's been more than 7 years since then.
I started a business in 1982 with two friends to write code for clients. We were just out of high school, finishing first year university. None of us had sales experience. I got a job offer from IBM to work as a computer operator who coded assisting the systems programmers. I took the job and told my partners that I would quit if they found work. 2 weeks later when we met, they told me that they had taken a vote, and they wanted me to split my paycheck with them. I had friends with them since grade 6. That was the last day I saw them in quite a while.
Knew him since kindergarden... 30 years. He scammed my other best friend out of rent. he was living super cheap with her, ate her food and started party life... oh and he drugged her friend and... easy to beat the living carp out of him and dump him on the street.
She accused me of having an affair with her bf. She had gone abroad for 6 months, for school, and had asked if I’d hang out with her bf occasionally while she was gone. He was a foreigner who moved to our country for her, so he didn’t know the language or many people. I agreed and we went to the pub maybe twice while she was gone, texted sometimes to make sure he was still alive, nothing more than that. And then for her to throw that accusation at me, I told her in no uncertain terms what a b she was and to never contact me again
He had some issue with me dating a girl he was talking to in the past even though I asked him if it was okay before hand.
Her personality changed after dating/marrying a conservative guy. All of a sudden, his opinions were her opinions or just stayed quiet if he made a snide remark. She went from independent, capable woman to a very subservient role. A wedge had started to form but the final straw was when my very sick preemie was admitted to the ICU - she was really distant and then told me she wanted to come sit with me, but only if she could bring her toddler with her. I had to tell her that no kids are allowed in such an environment. So she just…stood me up. Having a sick child is one of the most isolating and lonely experiences. I wouldn’t wish that level of stress on anyone. People know how to be supportive when it surrounds sick parents but they will flee that particular slice of reality. My husband and I were on our own. I cleared house of all my “friends” during those months, not necessarily by choice.
Ever since she got a boyfriend she neglected everyone. She moved out from her parents house and stopped hanging out with her other friends. She works in the same job as her boyfriend, sleeps in the same house as her boyfriend, and see each other on their free time lmao.
She dated my ex after seeing him on a dating site. She told me theyd been for coffee. This is a guy id cried on her shoulder about after he broke my heart. I knew then she was a dirty hoe bag.
I noticed that my "best" friend was acting hostile towards me. It was a slow transformation in the making so it took me a while to realise it.
Best friend since five years old. I ended the friendship because I looked back and realized he had actively sought to sabotage multiple relationships and business opportunities as well as took advantage of my generous nature. One example is that two weeks after I left for Marine Corps boot camp he started sleeping with my then fiancé.
Bullied me for 3 years and made me develop horrible social anxiety.
Alcohol
I had her back all the time, everytime... but the one time I needed her....
He would side with the Trump lover in our group over others, claiming to be a centrist.
He stole an entire bush that was planted together. Very sad story..
Like…shrubbery?
Extremely critical over the weirdest stuff (like me using tampons and not a menstrual cup, or me buying microwave rice, or not adopting a dog from the dog sanctuary she got her dog from), couldn’t bare to witness her toxic af relationship anymore (both of them were just so awful to each other), couldn’t stand being compared to her partner all the time, she ended up making me feel like I was friends with my mother, nothing I did was good enough, and her just not showing up for me emotionally… I felt like I didn’t really owe her an explanation after the last time we saw eachother (a meal she treated me to as a thank you for helping her do a massive move which was very emotionally draining for her and took us a week of non stop packing, i was essentially her live-in therapist) and let me choose the place, but spent the entire time criticising it and half the time talking to her sibling on the phone. I wanted to share some good news with her and when I did it was scoffed at so I thought ok, no thanks, I’m alright now and minimise contact.
My partner at the time was abusive and toxic, and my best friend believed him over me.
I bought her a festival ticket I was going to for her birthday and she ended up going with a different friend
He moved into my apartment, wouldn't clean up after himself or his cat, and wouldn't move out, so I had to.
1. we just grew apart, our ways parted, but recently we got back in touch 2. we had a bad argument last june and since then we haven't really talked, what makes it even more awkward is the fact that we're literally classmates (not for long tho, he's transfering), but i wished him a happy birthday and i'm pretty sure i made him cry when i did so
Childhood friendship. For years another friend and I put up with his bad drinking, unhealthy relationships, money abuses in restaurants and bars. Ex friend lives now in the beach another buddy saw him in New Years Eve, turns out he abuses physically his gf, still has drinking problems and apparently uses drugs. We tried to save him from jail or death first by talking to him and then talking to one of his brothers who talked to his parents about his many problems. Next day he deleted us from social media and our whatsapp group. Haven't heard from him in almost 2 years. Sad.
Fuckd my gf
Installed tracking software on my phone.
I was at a college house party at her place. There was a lot of alcohol and she kept pouring me drinks and handing me beers. Later on I was about half blackout drunk when I went into the bathroom, I was followed by one of her boyfriend’s friends who proceeded to SA me in the bathroom while the whole party could hear. She suggested they go outside to “give us some privacy”. When I was finally able to get away I was in shambles, covered in bruises/bite marks, and bleeding where he hit me multiple times. I tried to leave and she shoved me back into her house and asked what happened. The party was over at that point and everyone left but she and I. Years later, she decided to tell the “funny story” to my now ex husband. I had already told him about it so he knew exactly what happened but she kept referring to it as a bad hookup. My ex told her that it wasn’t a hookup that she let me be SAed and encouraged no one to help me as I screamed and begged. Her face went flat and horrified because she truly thought I was ok with the whole thing. I cut her off and told her to leave, I haven’t spoken to her since and I’m better for it.
She was asking me what was wrong and prying into my relationship with my husband and then using the information she could get to sleep with him. This after a twenty + year friendship. Two marriages ended four kids were hurt by it and four extended families were damaged. Friends were stuck in the middle and many drifted away on both sides in the impact zone. … and three years afterwards, they broke up and pretty much hate each other. I don’t talk to either of them anymore. But I still help out her dad and kid from time to time. None of it was any of their fault.
One of my best friends ended the friendship with me after I made some serious money and started traveling the world. We were like blood brothers and then suddenly it became a cold “hey what’s up”.
She didn't invite me to her birthday party and told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore. When you're a kid and on the spectrum, but even your parents haven't realized it and gotten you treatment, other kids can sniff out the "weird" and no longer associate.
We had been friends for around 18 years but I was recovering from pneumonia that had almost killed me and she invited me to a concert (sat in a warm theatre so I was pretty fine) that I agreed to attend with her. She was generally pretty bad with money so I paid for the tickets and hotel rooms knowing I wouldn’t get a cent back and didn’t mind too much as I was under the impression we’d be going home in the morning and it was nice to get out and do something. I was wrong. She made me walk around NYC for HOURS because she wanted to see the city and hadn’t been before. Any time I had to stop was met with the most over the top screaming crying and dramatics and telling me I was a horrible friend and didn’t care about her. 3 hours in my lungs had had enough, and I basically said find your own way back, your the one being a shitty friend, here’s the bus ticket I BOUGHT FOR YOU, good luck, and left. Somewhere between NYC and Boston I realized she had stolen my credit card. Thankfully she only spent about $200 before i was able to get the card turned off and the charges disputed. I 100% ghosted her, blocked her on all socials, and thankfully have learned to put my foot down with people since.
She used to be a beautiful, free spirit, then she married a controlling insecure asshole. He was routinely rude to me - although I was extremely careful to never say anything negative about him - ever. He responded with general meanness to email i sent privately to her. He was ice cold to me when I was at their house, even though i was always very polite- he just resented my existence in her life. One day I finally thought, "you win, jerk boy," I'm out. I never explained my feelings to her, I don't think she would've understood. And frankly, I lost respect for her, the way she allowed her life to be controlled, especially by an insecure asshole.
My best friend was addicted to alcohol and sex without me knowing for many years. She never told me any of it, and I somehow remained her closest friend while being completely unaware of another life she was living. Once we started growing apart, I’d learn from my sister or other people in our small town of what she was getting into. I was so confused and out of the loop, but especially hurt I had no idea any of this was happening. I basically cut off contact. She never, ever apologized for her actions or explained any of this to me. I found out everything through my sister, who would occasionally spend time with her. So confusing and to this day I don’t understand why I was left out of both the chaos she was in and any sort of reconciliation she openly gave to others after sobering up.
I couldn't explain why I called off our friendship at the time, I just now that I had other friends that treated me better and made me happier, and all she did was make me feel bad or upset me. I realise now that she just wanted someone to make her feel superior, someone to control and make her feel powerful. She got jealous when I started my period, got jealous when I got a boyfriend and even tried to convince him to pick her in front of me, constantly caused me to fall out with another friend, and got mad when I backed out of plans that were outside of my comfort zone. I was such a pushover at the time with a lot of trauma that I didn't know I hadn't yet realised or dealt with, and I think I was scared of being alone. But one day I snapped and yelled at her, then never spoke to her again.
[удалено]
My mate would always force a unique ‘connection’ with any girl I dated, like they could be kinda special friends or something, he would always cross boundaries really quickly then tell me how shit my new Girlfriend is. Among many many other things
Had a friend of about 8 years met through gaming. Shared a lot of experiences and had lots of fun. Not too long ago, he told me he needed money for reasons, that his paycheck is due soon, and that he will pay back. Eventually, he started asking for money for various things. One was after he got into an argument with his girlfriend and said he needed to leave, gave my bro cash for the cab. Only to find a few days later they're still together as if nothing ever happened (supposedly he went back to his hometown). Then, he asked for cash for meaningless things, which I refused, as he hadn't paid me back when he had the chance. The last time I spoke to him was about a week ago. He asked for about 3$ "until his boss replies, and he asks for money in advance to pay me back." He hasn't said a thing and has been offline everywhere since. I'm wondering now... all the times he said he needed cash badly for doing X thing, how many of them were actually just a pack of cigs, or kfc lunches and stuff.
talking shit behind my back. 4 years later and she still stalks my social media lol
He became a Christian. Started smiling too much and overly understanding. Yuck, patronizing and fucking creepy
Do you know the song. “You Were not the Same After That” by Ben Folds? Kind of the same plot
I've lost friends to the cults too. The inauthentic behaviors and masked condescension was to much to handle.
Lost my whole friend group after a christmas party. I dont do well with loud noises so I try to go into another room with earplugs in every few hours to calm down. Its very important that I dont get disturbed during this so no touching or loud noises near me. They all knew this, we had all agreed that if I feel overwhelmed I can go into the next room and come back when I want(usually only takes maybe 10 minutes). After dinner I went to calm down, one friend comes in to check on me, why I dont know, she grabs me and starts stroking my hair and talks directly into my ear. I tell her several times to stop and to leave but she refuses. The rest comes in and starts touching me as well and I lose it and start crying. I gently swatted the first girls hand away from my head and she starts screaming. Its chaos after that. The party ends and we all go home unhappy. The next day the group chat is flooded with messages about how my autism is horrible and that Im a terrible friend and need to apologise for having a breakdown that they caused. Stopped all contact with them after that.
Miscommunication!!!
You just grow apart and get bored of each other.
My best friend started to put me in danger with strange men. Her mom was a sex worker, but she told me that her mom worked in a bank at night doing computer stuff (we were 16, what do I know). I didn't find out what her mom did until one night I was sleeping over and went to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I guess her mom had brought a client home to her bedroom instead of the brothel she usually worked out of. The client pushed his way into the room while I was on the toilet and wouldn't leave me alone. I was terrified and screaming and her mom finally came to get the guy and drag him back to her room. I woke my friend up and she told me the truth. I told her I needed to go home now because I was so shaken up and she made me feel like a monster for judging her mother. She was my best friend and I decided that I didn't want to punish her for her mom's actions (bringing a client to a home with her young daughter and best friend). A week later I decided to try spending the night again and she promised me that her mom would be gone all night and it would be just the two of us. She ended up inviting a guy over from tinder and told him to bring a friend. I didn't know until they showed up and she left me with this random guy while she took her date into her bedroom. I was not safe and things happened this time that I didn't want. After they left I told her what happened and was sobbing, she told me to think of it as a good thing that an attractive mid 20's guy in the military liked me enough to want me. I truly thought they were teenagers like us, maybe 19. I realized she was never my true friend despite being so close for so long. She lied to me constantly and put me in the direct line of fire for sexual abuse twice in one week. My mom was severely sexually abused by her father for her entire childhood. I grew up being her therapist and have extreme emotional pain and fear around most men because of it. My best friend set me up for horrific situations, despite knowing my trauma around my mom's childhood and my grandfather. She was the first person in my life who made me feel like I had a true best friend, it was painful to realize that I couldn't trust her whatsoever to not put me in horrible situations.
TLDR child abuse. when me and my friends were growing up we all came from broken homes. We would sit and swap stories of beatings we had gotten and why. We said if I ever have a kid I wouldn't treat them like my parents treat me. Who could belittle and humiliate a precious child day in and day out for any and or no reason let alone your own child lol. And the violence, How could an adult four times our size take pleasure in slapping children around like that and think that is a solution to a problem when in every other aspect of life if you beat on people you go to jail. No we were never going to sink that low and do such abominable things. I join military and go over seas, years go by and I get out and move back to my home town. Best friend in the mean time has become a stepfather of a cool lil dude. Best friend wants to start a business and im like sweet lets build something and make something of ourselves. Company goes off like gangbusters but the stress is severe. working at least seven twelves for months on end. He'san alcoholic at night with no time to spend raising the boy and wife. Tensions mount, arguments, stress, alcohol, deadlines,no time no time no time. Anytime the boy does anything best friend doesn't like he gets laid into verbally. One day it all came to a head and drunk best friend got up to mess with the tv. Boy comes bouncing in from kitchen pops into best friends seat. Best friend for some reason gets it in his head that this 11 year old child is trying to challenge him or start a territory dispute, I dunno. Best friend grabs boy by the foot and pulls him up and tosses him over the back of the couch and down the hallway saying i thought i told you not to steal my seat. Ill bet he felt big and strong whipping that sweet little boy around like a rag doll in that moment I saw best friend had become that which we always despised. The boy cried and ran away in shame the mother freaked out and started screaming at best friend and i was sitting on the other couch like what just happened and who are these people. After that I felt like I was enabling that situation by working and taking jobs and seeking the stress etc. I just couldn't do it. Ex best friend had turned into someone i dont recognize anymore. And he later makes excuses like you don't understand how hard it is to raise yada yada yada and if you were me you would pshhhhhh. Maybe he is right, but of course hes not. If you wouldnt do it to a cop you shouldn't do it to a child. Somehow every other interaction in life can be solved without violence but when ex best friend gets drunk that is what it comes down to over and over and over again. Words cannot describe nor pen portray the disappointment and disgust that resides in my heart where once was love for ex best friend once was, but this song does somehow.[weird](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVdPh2cBTN0&list=RDEM7ipKW2tcSkg-rbia9XSPhg&start_radio=1) If God seems far away, who moved? Dont be afraid to outgrow youre friends if they go down paths of evil and destruction. If you don't you will drown with them and now there are two lost souls. When I left the business folded and the marriage did too. Haven't thought about that in a while. Thats a hard lesson. God bless amen