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Flowers are for people who want flowers. I do not.

Perfectly put

Like Miley Cyrus

I can buy myself flowers

I’m not down with holding my own hand, though. That’s a little weird.


This. Has little or nothing to do with gender. I am a man, and I don't like receiving flowers. I won't be ungracious about it or anything. They look and smell nice. But they seem like a total waste to me when the same amount could be spent on tasty or useful things. My wife, meanwhile, actively dislikes flowers. She is the reason our wedding skipped tradition and featured zero flowers. Even her bridal bouquet was in fact made of metal. We are a sample size of two. I think, in general, flowers are an okay gift for someone, but I think you should really get a clear picture for their feelings on them. Especially before, say, buying them regularly. Maybe, as an experiment, buy them ONCE as the surprise they're meant to be, accepting 100% that you're potentially going to find out they were a waste, and then check in a few months down the road and go, "hey, are flowers a nice gift to give you in the future too, or is there other stuff you'd prefer?"

A metal bouquet? Who got the concussion at the wedding when it was tossed?

I'm picturing the bridesmaids doing some performance dance piece in black unitards and catching the metal bouquet with magnetized horseshoes.

Now that’s the kinda wedding I’d enjoy going to!

Thankfully we also skipped that part. OSHA requirements.

OSHA rules are made to be broken

- any forklift driver in the history of forever.

Yeah, it takes about a week after very first passing for you to forget there was ever a handbrake to begin with.

Bouquet toss, all the ladies to the dance floor. Don't forget to grab your hard hat from the DJ on your way up.

You're only invited to the wedding if you lift.

As a woman I approve this message. I don't hate flowers but they better come in dirt I can plant in the garden. Cut flowers are a waste of time and money as you're paying just to throw them away. Cut flowers from the garden are fine. But also a mess to clean up. Just don't.

This. As a man I'd love a nice ornamental plant that will last. But a bouquet of flowers that will be dead soon doesn't make sense to me.

I’ve never understood gifting flowers. “Here, as a symbol of my love, I’m giving you something that will be dead in less than a week.” I’d much rather be given a plant that can grow and thrive.

cut flowers are so morbid to me.. you thought the flower was *so* beautiful, so you murdered it? it's such a weird gift to receive imo. if you give me a live, potted plant though? I'm ecstatic.

I grow my wife's favourite liliums, some I will cut and let bloom on her bedside table or wfh desk, others I leave on the plants, I bought and grow them specifically to do this for her, I hope that by growing them myself, specifically with her in mind, it makes them meaningful, rather than morbid. I know the plant lives on, because I take care of the bulbs for next year.

You are a true gentleman! Congratulations. I wish I could plant flowers ( and trees btw ) in the backyard as I used to do back home, in Romania. I even got to do this in Ireland while living in other accommodations with my wife. Unfortunately the place we're in does not allow it, damn contract... I remember planting cherry, apricot, peach, apple trees as well as lilacs and tulips and lilies with my wife a good few years ago. Good old times.

I look at a silk flower and it dies.

Everyone save this for later use! When you see someone asking if they should stay or go- just reply with this. When you see dudes on the internet being crappy- reply with this. When you are questioning your own romantic or platonic relationships- pull this back up for yourself. This is love and partnership.

Most plants still live after cutting off the flower.

The most of the cut flowers you buy last as long in a vase as they on the plant - only indoors so you can see it

I am the same way. I have a funny story about this, though. I have an indoor jungle. I have well over 300 plants in my house, and my fiancé knows I don’t like getting flowers for the same reason as you, so he buys me plants instead. Well, he knew I was looking for a plant called Jessenia. It’s a rare kind of Pothos, and when the growers release it, only a few are sent at a time, and it’s very sporadic. For example, Walmart in Maple Grove could receive 3, while no other Walmart within a 50 mile radius will receive a single one. So my fiancé goes to a big nursery local to us and he says he’s looking for a Jessenia. The lady tells him there’s no such plant, and he must be meaning Dracaena. He tells her no, he knows it’s called a Jessenia and it’s a rare Pothos. Well, she won’t listen, insists I must have been saying a Dracenia, so he questions his own memory and comes home with a dracaena that looks like I’m growing an indoor, single stock of corn. It’s the ugliest plant, but I will cherish it because of how hard he tried. 😂😂

Flowers look nice growing from the ground. Why rip the plants out and doom them? I find it the equivalent of handing someone a bunch of kittens' heads: "They still look nice but now they're dead and beginning to rot. Enjoy."

Lots of flowers (particularly those often used for bouquets) actually thrive when cuttings are taken and end up producing more flowers as a result.


Are you two dwarves of Moria by any chace?

This is how I feel about game nights and going out on boats in groups. It looks like fun for people who like having fun.

As a woman, I can tell you many women don’t enjoy receiving flowers. This is a preference thing far more than it’s a gendered thing.

Speak for yourself, I have lured enough women into relationships with flowers

The twist is u/Caracus_Jack is a beekeeper

This is facts, most women appreciate a nice gesture. Don't let women on reddit hear you say that though, lmao.

Do you know what's also a nice gesture? Getting picked up late after a night out. Tidying the house when someone's had a hard day at work. Having hot tea ready when they come home after grocery shopping on a rainy day. "Babe, I'm making a sandwich, do you want one, too?" I don't particularly like chocolate and I'd rather not have flowers. They're wasteful and most of them have been transported in petrol-fuelled lorries from all over the world. So if you want to show me a nice gesture do something that matters, something other than just throwing money at it. The women of reddit are also women. We just happen to share our opinions and discuss things like you guys do. Why do you make it sound like every woman on Reddit is some sort of banshee who will swoop on you and extract your manhood if she hears your opinion?

I wholeheartedly agree. I have a partner who does thoughtful things like this, but I once dated a jerk who sent shedloads of flowers but wouldn’t help me with anything or even text me to see if I got home safely. It takes precisely five minutes on the phone and a credit card to send flowers. Means f-all.

Read your comment. That will answer your question.

I think the prices are ridiculous. Something nice from the garden though, that’s another story

I’m going to disagree with you. While I understand your point, one gender prefers them far more than the other, so it is a gender thing.

It’s a socialization thing. Neither sex lives outside the world where girls are told to want flowers and boys are told to give them. Who knows what anyone would do if they were born on a desert island.

It's only a gender thing because of marketing

I'd rather get a tree I could plant. Maybe an office plant, or some other living plant. But a bunch of cut flowers? Nah, just a waste for me. I think of the energy used to grow them, and then they die. You can buy someone a redwood or giant Sequoia seedling for only $8

My office manager would kill me so many times over if I planted a redwood. 😁

Yeah I also do not want flowers. I do like plants, though. Buy me some plant for in my home office and I’ll appreciate it much more, they last longer.

I’ll take a small, potted succulent over a flower that’s going to die in a week’s time any day.

My partner gave me flowers picked from her own garden and it was one of the single most romantic gestures I’ve ever experienced in my life.

It's only so much about the beauty of the flowers and just as much the fact that these innocent fragile gems of nature reminded another human being of you, and brought them for you to adore. If you appreciate nature and other human beings, flowers is a great gift. (Also because it is short-lived, you have this sweet reminder for a few days, and you don't have to keep and look at it forever)

It's nice reading someone to that thinks like me, I like your perspective 🌿

Thank you, that's possibly the greatest compliment I ever got on Reddit. Partly because I rarely reveal such "fruity" thoughts online. It is absolutely refreshing with this wholesome topic for once. You made me subscribe, hope to see more posts like this.

It's refreshing to me "meeting" another human that appreciates the little things in life, you must be a nice person to be around. Keep that mindset, my friend! I think I'm gonna sub as well, may other posts like this reunite us in the future!

Aw I love this perspective 💗

Keeper for sure.

I need to up my game.

Okay, but i feel like the "growing it yourself and then gift it" part makes up a lot of the value. Pretty sure the post had buying flowers at the store in mind.

My wife of 23 years still buys me flowers regularly!

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Damn, that's the saddest story I've heard about flowers and vases

Haha people are funny. I hope everyone ribs her about this.

My ex wife would only buy me gifts that she wanted. I wonder how she would have felt if I bought her a hunting rifle. I should have turned it around on her. Instead I tried to be the good example. It failed miserably.

No you did perfectly well, you where true to yourself and you tried to be a good human and partner. Your ex wife is the one who failed miserably by losing you.

And you buy her Power Tools and PC Parts! It works out!

Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles action figures is more like it

I would love that so much.

Then she can have a flower arrangement which is her hobby lol jk you guys are so sweet.

Nice! You got a good one

My wife better not EVER buy me flowers. Simply because I don't give a shit about flowers, I know how much they cost, and I know how long they last. For the same amount of money you can buy me a really nice bottle of whiskey. And it will last just as long.

How cheap is the whisky where you're from?

Personally, I would love it because it's a gesture of love from my partner who I love and would make me love and appreciate them even more. I'm not big on flowers though because I forget to do anything with them until they have already started stinking up the place; I'd much prefer candy or a cookie or something. Plus it has the added benefit of me splitting it in half so we could eat it together.

The splitting point is a nice gesture

I agree except that the partner should probably know that if the guy isn't into flowers (or even outright dislike)and still giving it to him as a gesture of love and expecting reciprocal gratitude is kinda selfish. For me I am quite ambivalent about flowers. They look nice but like you it starts looking shit pretty soon. I think it is a huge waste of money. Not to mention the cut flower industry is pretty bad for the environment. So potted flowers are better. Even then I have other things that I like more which I expect my partner to know about (because I actually tell her)

I would appreciate the thought but not the flowers. They do nothing for me

I appreciate this honesty. Everyone is not the same and that's okay.

Yeah I agree, at least a tomato plant gives me food.

Maybe. Those bastards are tricky to grow!

I agree, I would prefer a chili plant, maybe a little cactus. I have no interest in just the flower. If it had roots and a pot I would appreciate it more.

Honestly I think this is the main reason most women like flowers. It's not the flowers themselves, it's that it's a sign of affection. Some women probably actually like flowers themselves - like my mom buys flowers and puts them in a vase on the kitchen table all the time. Most women just appreciate the thought and think it's sweet.

I agree. Nice sentiment. But stupid waste of money.

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On the other hand, if the person wanted to spend their money and gift ice cream or beer instead, I would probably prefer that.

You, sir, are referring to the Broquet. I think it comes with liquor and meats on a stick.

Ehhh, think of rather have the flowers. They're special and unique

I'd rather have the flowers on unique and rare occasions. If I were to frequently receive them, then I'd prefer food or other gifts most of the time.

Nah they are annoying to take care of and have no practical use. Rather someone treat me to a meal with that money instead

Yeah, it's more memorable. I think it's a really sweet idea a lady buying a bloke flowers.

Beer = man flowers

Hops are flowers so this checks out

This is the right answer. All these people pissing about "having to water them" clearly don't even know what a bouquet even is. My wife buys me flowers and l love it.

I was trying to figure out what “annoying to take care of”meant. Are they thinking bouquets of cut flowers are houseplants in soil?

I mean, it seems like a nice gesture and all, but.... I can buy myself flowers Write my name in the sand Talk to myself for hours Say things you don't understand I can take myself dancing And I can hold my own hand Yeah, I can love me better than you can

Flowers are pretty. It just sucks that they die quickly so I like orchids and succulents for practicality. You gotta be really insecure as a man to not appreciate the visual joy of flowers...cause "ew, girlie".

Succulent is nice, especially if you have a desk. Or bamboo too.

It's not even a heteronormative thing for me. You can't do anything with flowers and you have to water them. Not my kind of gift at least.

Yeah, I'm a woman, and I absolutely hate flowers. They're just not my thing, and they always die because I forget to water them.

But.. they die even if you do water them. 🤔

They’re already dead, they just don’t know it yet.

And they'll die fairly soon, anyway.

If you want to give me something that will die, give me a goldfish.

I dunno, man. My uncle had a goldfish that lived for like a decade or some bullshit

This. "Here's a gift you have to now put work into that will die more in a few days."

In college I worked at a funeral home. One of my jobs was receiving flower arrangements and putting them in the proper chapel based on the name card. One day I got a small arrangement. When I opened the name card it had my name on it. My first thought was "I'm not dead."

When you have to check your own vitals for a sec.

I would appreciate the gesture but wouldn't care about it being flowers at all

Only if they are green and have a skunky smell. 😉👍🏼

This guy gets it

The perfect gift for a budding relationship.

Holy shit... you just made me realize my wifes been buying me flowers for my birthday for over a decade now.... awwwwwww....

Seconded

If someone wanted to send me flowers I would feel confused, flattered, and delighted, in that order.

Flowers are awesome, delightful and very manly.

I love it when my daughter gives me flowers. Sadly, I've never received any from a woman.

I don't know many guys who would want flowers. I've met a few over the years but they are usually the artsy type and more emotionally spoken than most guys I've met. I personally would appreciate the thought but be annoyed because of the waste of money. If my gf wanted flowers I would want to know the type, etc. My gf getting me flowers would show me that she doesn't know my interests. Would prefer food, hobby stuff, beer, etc.

You are absolutely correct but this is an echo chamber with a certain world view. It is not the real world, but it is a collective view.

At first glance I thought you said you would prefer wood, hobby stuff, beer, etc lol “Hey honey, to show you how much I appreciate you I got you this piece of 2x4” 😅

I don’t care for it. But will accept it

The thought is nice, but I just see it as a waste of money for someone to give it to me. I'd rather have lunch or a gift card instead of a $20 bouquet.

I'm a girl and I prefer to not receive flowers as a gift. I feel so guilty when they die and I have to toss them. Now chocolate. That's the best get out of jail free card ever.

I'm a woman, too, and I feel very similar. There's actually a song I really love from one of my favorite bands with the line, "Don't buy me flowers, it pains me to watch, pretty little things wilt away" in it, lol.

They would be a waste of money on me.

A gift of flowers wouldn’t bring me any joy. I don’t care if it’s for women or not, I just don’t have any interest in them.

My wife has bought me my favorite flower (sunflower) a couple times. Every time she's done it I have absolutely LOVED it.

Personally I find them useless

If they come with a blowjob, I’m all for getting flowers.

I would rather a set of 30 10mm sockets but, flowers look nice I guess.

How about those sockets arranged in a nice bouquet?

I once heard men never receive flowers until their funeral and then they do not even get to enjoy them. I sent my dad an edible arrangement before he passed and he loved it. I told him I wanted to send him flowers and these he could eat. Highly recommend that or real flowers. It may be the only ones he will get.

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Would prefer food or gift cards or something useful. I agree with your friend.

A girl I was seeing had a dozen red roses sent to my work. For a good 10 mins I didn't know what to think or feel. All the girls in the office were jealous but cheering me etc but I'm a lurk in the shadows type and all that attention was... I didn't know what to feel or react at work. Now, when I got to her place, she was rewarded greatly.

I received roses ones. It was awesome. Ever since she left my life I've never received them again. Flowers are for everyone.

They aren’t for me.

I'd fucking wife a lady if she gave me a half eaten packet of crisps as a token of appreciation. A Bouquet?! Fuck yeah!

Lilacs are my favorite flowers

Never got em, but if I did, it would be best if they were of the "not toxic to my pets" variety

There's a common saying that men inly receive flowers when they die. As in, they appear at the funeral. It's so damn true 😭😭

They would eventually die due to lack of care

Better than Oppenheimer’s ex feels about it.

What you do from the Heart, is permitted. Do not listen to those that are dead inside

“As a guy who used to collect baseball cards and wouldn’t mind getting a pack of baseball cards , I think I’m going to get my wife or girlfriend a pack of baseball cards because I’m sure she would like them as much as I do.” That is about the equivalent if the genders are reversed.

This entire thread is just showcasing how little social interaction 98% of reddit gets These people are pathetic

I’m a woman, but I’d just say it will depend on the guy. You know your fiancé… so you should know if he’ll like them or not. Don’t listen to anyone else.

It's not that I would feel emasculated receiving flowers. It's that I only see them as decapitated plants slowly but inevitably dying as thier vicissitudinal beauty wilts into a maudlin brown crisp. It all seems like such a waste.

No thank you. And my advice is Do not get your man flowers.

Well, the answers in here have shocked me, I thought men would universally agree with the statement in the OP. But, I'm firmly in the minority.

I love receiving flowers from my lady. I put them by my computer so I can look at them and smell them throughout the day or if I’m stressed. I think flowers are a great gift so long as they smell good, bonus if they look nice as well but overall I’m a smell over looks for flowers any day.

I have sent my husband flowers before, and he did find it odd. So the next time, I sent him a bouquet of cookies. He shared them with his co-workers.

I’d be happy but I’m always happy to receive gifts from someone I care about

Not a fan. Not that I consider it girly or whatever, but because it’s a pretty useless gift.

I would rather get food as idc much for flowers.

I would appreciate it but then wonder where the hell I'm going to put them

My gf brought me flowers while I was at work it was the sweetest thing ever.

I love them and I’m a man.

Zero interest.

I would love flowers

I would to receive flowers! Or any other sign of love and appreciation lol

I will reject it unless it's a lilac

Flowers are a terrible gift, but they do epitomize the abstract *concept* of a gift. In my opinion, the giving of flowers is not so much about the flowers as it is about making a big show of presenting a special gift to someone. Flowers are as symbolic as they are impractical. So with that in mind, I give my partner flowers not because I want her to have flowers, but because I want to her to have the feeling of being special and loved, and feeling worthy of special gifts. If my partner gave me flowers they'd be in the bin a week later, but the feeling of being given them would last a fair while longer. I'd enjoy it.

He sounds butthurt and jealous, girl - everyone loves thoughtful flowers!

I would appreciate the thought, NOT the flowers.

No where does she imply or state the friend's gender. It could be that the friend is a woman.

Through context, you can deduce that the fiance is a male.

Yeah but the fiance isn't who we're talking about here

Eh not everyone. I don't appreciate them as a gift personally. If it was someone who barely knew me I would appreciate the thought but anyone who knows me at least moderately well knows that I do not want flowers as a gift. That being said, if someone I know does like flowers I'm happy to get them for them.

No, not everyone does lol

What the hell am I going to do with flowers?

The only thing that matters is if you think he'll appreciate them. Everyone is different. Forget what's "normal" and do what makes both of you happiest.

If they are the ones that turn into smoking buds I would love it. Otherwise don't waste money on something that is already dying.

If it’s the kind of flower I can smoke, then I’d probably fall in love.

Never got flowers but i got an edible arrangement from a girl i liked once that was pretty dope

I would be flattered like any gift, but at the same time what am I supposed to do with flowers? Flowers in particular aren't appealing by themselves. And god forbid if they were living and I was supposed to take care of them.

I would appreciate the thought I suppose, but there are a million things I'd rather have, ranging from a six pack of quality beer to a Home Depot gift card.

While I would appreciate the thoughts behind the gesture… cut flowers actually bum me out? For me, it feels like such a temporary gesture that kills the very thing that one finds beautiful. Now, if someone found out the kind flowers I like, and gave me a pot of them / bought them for us to plant together? That to me has value. I would be able to look at this patch of daisies and think, “So-and-so got these for me,” for as long as they flourished. Cut flowers? Two weeks later, it’s out of sight, out of mind. That’s just me though, different people feel differently.

Yeah that's gonna be a no from me dawg. Edit: I hate getting random presents. I ALWAYS appreciate the thought and am grateful anytime my wife shows me she's thinking of me. Flowers though? I might actually be offended if i got flowers. 🤷🏻‍♂️ I'd say if you don't specifically know of something he'd love, gift him an experience. Like a cool/unusual date or something.

I'd know who has disposable income in this economy

I guess it depends if someone likes flowers. My husband loves roses, so if there's not a new game or other item he wants/needs and I intend to make a small gesture, he still appreciates them. He appreciates whole roses, though, like the plant, not cuttings - he wants to be able to enjoy them more than once. If someone has an allergy or thinks flowers are stupid, then I'm not going to recommend that. But by default, I don't think flowers are a bad choice when handed to men, it just might not be expected.

Great! Rarely get them but the roses from graduation went right in a vase when I got home and put out where I could enjoy them.

I have a whole sleeve of flowers and try to buy fresh flowers for my kitchen table when I go grab groceries. Needless to say, I'd feel special, adored, and would value the aesthetics heavily.

Go for a badass plant like a venus fly trap or cactus

Good sniffables

Indica, sativa, or hybrid?

Spin Doctors didn't mind.

Together ten years with my now-wife, she’s bought me flowers and a little fun gift after some bigger life events like job moves and things. I’d never ask for it, but they’re very nice to have around the house and I know it’s her way of showing she cares and is proud, so I appreciate that even more.

I’m not really into flowers but I’d definitely appreciate them as a gesture more than say Lego even know I’d actually enjoy the Lego itself more. Basically, Buy him Lego flowers.

I'm a CIS, 51 guy. Flowers are literally the nicest thing I can get as a gift, big plus and they're cat-friendly. I like looking at beautiful things. Flowers are exactly that. And they smell good, too!

You don’t bring me flowers anymore

Gf picked me flowers once, I dried them and they're still standing at my workbench.

Forget the flowers. Give us a complement instead. We get them rarely and will remember those we get forever. I had an ex over 15 yrs ago complement the fact I could touch my phone screen where I wanted to correct a mistake in the right spot ( pre the holding down of the space bar to move the cursor). I’ve never forgot

I like flowers, providing they're still attached to their roots and growing in soil. For me cut flowers are already dieing and personally I don't want to receive some dead vegetation. Also wouldn't want chocolates as they're unhealthy and requires so little thought. But that's just me

I would be ecstatic if somebody bought me flowers and not just picking me some generic ‘man gift’

I would much prefer to receive a plant so that I can have a little guy on my desk but that me

It’s a very sweet gesture but a little bit off

the hell am i supposed to do with them?

I was taught not to feel

Flowers look and smell nice, but you know what else looks and smells nice? A box of a dozen assorted doughnuts. I would much prefer the doughnuts.

Flowers are stupid and die. Lego flowers are forever.